ELIMINATION ORDERS NTMs & MMaS alike.

Without explanations right now, because they would take too long.

America's Next Top Model

Cycle 1
10. Tessa
9. Shannon
8. Nicole
7. Ebony
6. Kesse
5. Katie
4. Robin
3. Elyse
2. Giselle
1/WINNER. Adrianne

Cycle 2
12. Anna
11. Xiomara
10. Heather
9. Bethany
8. Camille
7. Sara
6. Jenascia
5. Mercedes
4. Yoanna
3. Catie
2. Shandi
1/WINNER. April

Cycle 3
14. Magdalena
13. Eva
12. Julie
11. Jennipher
10. Kristi
9. Ann
8. Kelle
7. Leah
6. Amanda
5. Toccara
4. Cassie
3. Norelle
2. Nicole
1/WINNER. Yaya

Cycle 4
13. Keenyah
12. Noelle
11. Lluvy
10. Tatiana
9. Sarah & Brandy
8. Tiffany
7. Brita
6. Brittany
5. Naima
4. Michelle
3. Rebecca
2. Christina
1/WINNER. Kahlen

Cycle 5
13. Sarah
12. Coryn
11. Kim
10. Ebony
9. Lisa
8. Bre
7. Kyle
6. Ashley
5. Nik
4. Jayla
3. Cassandra
2. Nicole
1/WINNER. Diane

Cycle 6
13. Brooke
12. Kari
11. Wendy
10. Gina
9. Jade
8. Kathy
7. Mollie Sue
6. Sara
5. Furonda
4. Leslie
3. Joanie
2. Nnenna
1/WINNER. Danielle

Cycle 7
13. Jaeda
12. Eugena
11. Monique
10. Megg
9. Christian
8. Anchal
7. Megan
6. Brooke
5. Melrose
4. AJ
3. Michelle
2. Amanda
1/WINNER. CariDee

Cycle 8
13. Whitney
12. Natasha
11. Cassandra
10. Sarah
9. Diana
8. Kathleen
7. Jael
6. Dionne
5. Samantha
4. Renee
3. Felicia
2. Brittany
1/WINNER. Jaslene

Cycle 9
13. Mila
12. Bianca
11. Saleisha
10. Heather
9. Janet
8. Ambreal
7. Kimberly
6. Ebony
5. Sarah
4. Victoria
3. Jenah
2. Lisa
1/WINNER. Chantal (I'm constantly switching numbers 1-4 FYI)

Cycle 10
13. Atalya
12. Stacy Ann & Dominique
11. Kimberly
10. Marvita
9. Allison
8. Katarzyna
7. Fatima (ZOMG WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!?!)
6. Lauren
5. Whitney
4. Amis
3. Aimee
2. Claire
1/WINNER. Anya

Cycle 11
14. Clark
13. ShaRaun
12. Nikeysha
11. Samantha
10. Hannah
9. Isis
8. Joslyn
7. Elina
6. Sheena
5. Brittany
4. McKey
3. Marjorie
2. Lauren Brie
1/WINNER. Analeigh

Cycle 12
13. Tahlia
12. Jessica
11. Kortnie
10. Isabella
9. Natalie
8. Nijah
7. London
6. Fo
5. Sandra
4. Aminat
3. Celia
2. Allison
1/WINNER. Teyona (I'm constantly switching #1 and #2, argh)


Australia's Next Top Model

Cycle 1
10. Allana
9. Naomi
8. Simmone
7. Nicole
6. Shannon
5. Atong
4. Zoe
3. Samantha
2. Gemma
1/WINNER. Chloe

Cycle 2
12. Sacha
11. Sarah & Natalie
10. Rebecca
9. Sophie
8. Jessica
7. Hiranthi
6. Eboni
5. Caroline
4. Simone
3. Louise
2. Madeleine
1/WINNER. Lara

Cycle 3
13. Cobi
12. Jaimi
11. Jane
10. Kara-Lee
9. Cassandra
8. Jordan
7. Danica
6. Steph F.
5. Steph H.
4. Sophie
3. Anika
2. Paloma
1/WINNER. Alice

Cycle 4
13. Belinda
12. Leiden
11. Kristy
10. Emma
9. Jamie
8. Rebecca
7. Alexandra
6. Kamilla
5. Alamela
4. Alyce
3. Demelza
2. Samantha
1/WINNER. Caris

Cycle 5
13. Leah
12. Adele
11. Georgie
10. Franky
9. Laura T.
8. Eloise
7. Laura M.
6. Tahnee
5. Cassi
4. Madison
3. Lola
2. Mikarla
1/WINNER. Clare


Make Me a Supermodel

Season 1
14. Jay
13. Dominic
12. Sarah
11. Katy
10. Ben
9. Frankie
8. Casey
7. Jacki
6. Perry
5. Aryn
4. Ronnie
3. Stephanie
2. Holly
1/WINNER. Shannon

Season 2
16. Ken
15. Laury
14. Chris
13. Shawn
12. Karen
11. CJ
10. Gabriel
9. Jordan
8. Amanda
7. Mountaha
6. Branden
5. Colin
4. Salome
3. Kerryn
2. Jonathan
1/WINNER. Sandhurst

Tahnee... HATERS STEP OFF!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not delusional. I don't think she's going to ~change the industry~ and I recognize that her body isn't right for the industry, right now.

But holyfuckherfaaaaace. If girls this gorgeous, this special, can't get work, I think it really says something fucked up about the fashion industry. And that's all, and I'm tired of people running around boards going on and on and on about how Tahnee is hideous and has no potential.

Cassi TOTALLY proves me wrong.

Slash not at all.

"We gave her so much love and support, maybe even more than the other girls, but at the back of my mind I knew she would do this and that's why I couldn't vote for her."


SIGH. Yeah, guys, I'll just be waiting over here for that Vogue cover...

Oh, and watching the stans trying to justify this? As much as I love Cassi, it's pretty hilariously sad. :( Some of them have gone all Monty in 25th Hour: "No, no, fuck you, Cassi Van Den Dungen. You had it all, and then you threw it away, you dumb fuck!!!!"

or maybe that's just me saying that...

I guess

I should do that ranking of the F3 of AusNTM, because they are better than even MMAS. Subject to minor changes.

COUTURE SWIMWEAR
3. Tahnee +1
2. Clare +2
1. Cassi +3
I thought all three girls did extremely well (they've got the #1, 3, and 4 call-outs, with Madison in 2nd). However, Cassi has the advantage because I feel like she made such a weird pose so effortless. Clare, we could see her face better, but it's kind of disturbingly sexy. Tahnee looks gorgeous but she kind of has a wonk-eye (and I thought it was soooo adorable/endearing that she pointed it out and sounded so sad about it).

Cassi 3
Clare 2
Tahnee 1

TULLE ON THE TRAPEZE
3. Tahnee +1
2. Cassi +2
1. Clare +3
Tahnee and Cassi did badly. Tahnee was trying for a whimsical thing, but she failed, and her body just looks bad, sorry to say. Cassi's face is really terrible, she looks like a frog that didn't want to be there. Clare was the only one of these three who aced it.

Cassi 5
Clare 5
Tahnee 2

NATURAL BEAUTY SHOTS
3. Cassi +1
2. Clare +2
1. Tahnee +3
All three did very well. Cassi's is getting mighty overrated, but it's still a very strong photo. I just... I hate her mouth, as I said before. Not her teeth, but her entire mouth. When she keeps it closed and not set in some weird way, like in the credits to the series, she is STUNNING, but otherwise, meh. Clare looks ethereal, and Tahnee's is just, again, STUNNING. I can't get over how beautiful it is.

Cassi 6
Clare 7
Tahnee 5

MOVEMENT FOR U BY KOTEX
3. Tahnee +1
2. Cassi +2
1. Clare +3
Ugh, this is one of those instances where I wish I could give like 18 points to Clare and no points to either of the other two. Clare looks cute and appropriately commercial, and she's got enough action in her photo to make it a good ad. Cassi and Tahnee's are just bad bad bad, but Cassi did better than Tahnee because she looks long and lean whereas Tahnee looks chubby.

Cassi 8
Clare 10
Tahnee 6

DESERT LINGERIE
3. Cassi +1
2. Clare +2
1. Tahnee +3
Let me just say all three of these are amazing, and in terms of photos alone, Cassi's is the best. Why did I give her third place then? Simple. She's not showing the lingerie or telling any sort of "story," which was like, the entire point of the damn shoot. And it is her fault, because she's scrunching that way to hide the clothing. But as a photo, holy fuuuuck. I may have said this before, but even though I hate this description because it's come to mean any good photo in NTM, it really is straight out of Vogue. But for what the shoot wanted, it was the "worst" photo. Clare looks like a broken-down fashion doll, she shows the clothing extremely well, and she's telling one hell of a story, but it lacks the oomph of Tahnee's shot. Here was where I realized that Tahnee was just, like, hot. I dunno what picture they used on the show, but I'm talking about this one. Yeah, her thighs look big, but for once, I don't even care. She's just smoking hot. That girl is a MODEL right here.

Cassi 9
Clare 12
Tahnee 9

CHANEL BY THE SEA
3. Cassi +1
2. Tahnee +2
1. Clare +3
Again, all three girls did extremely well. I like that they all look like sexy schoolmarms or something. Cassi's pose is just too awkward and she looks too gangly to be a Chanel ad. Tahnee's was a total fluke, but it's really gorgeous, and not just for the composition. There's an interesting vibe to it that would make it a good ad. Clare's face looks a weeeee bit weird here, but she more or less nailed it. She looks so statuesque and more or less flawless.

Cassi 10
Clare 15
Tahnee 11

DESIGNER GOWNS ON A TRAMPOLINE
3. Tahnee +1
2. Clare +2
1. Cassi +3
More or less all of them did only okay. Tahnee, I'm pretty amazed she could get that pose without distorting her body and face entirely, but I just get a super awkward vibe from the photo. I see what Clare was going for but she looks more than a bit possessed. Cassi's body looks awesome, but her face is still weird and what's with the chicken wing arm? Still, she did pretty well.

Cassi 13
Clare 17
Tahnee 12

STYLE ICONS
3. Tahnee +1
2. Cassi +2
1. Clare +3
Clare ROCKED THE HOUSE; Tahnee and Cassi both blew it for me (as did Franky and Adele).

Cassi 15
Clare 20
Tahnee 13

THE LONDON LOOK
3. Cassi +1
2. Tahnee +2
1. Clare +3
Again, Cassi and Tahnee more or less blew. Cassi just looks pissed, cheap, and actually low fashion. Tahnee at least looks beautiful, but pedestrian. Clare didn't do great, but it's the best photo. She looks a little short and it's a little posey, but I love that face. It's so high impact.

Cassi 16
Clare 23
Tahnee 15

BEACH SCENES - OVERALL
3. Tahnee +1
2. Clare +2
1. Cassi +3
All three girls did amazing. Tahnee looks a little awkward in both shots, putting her in third place. Clare had the best individual photo, but Cassi simply owns the group shot. She's gorgeous there, and really looks like a supermodel. See what happens when you RELAX YOUR MOUTH, Cassi?

Cassi 19
Clare 25
Tahnee 16

OVERALL WALK
3. Cassi +4
2. Tahnee +8
1. Clare +12
I counted this x4, because it was shown as extremely important throughout the course of the show. Cassi can't walk. Sorry, she still can't. She only improved because if she hadn't, it would have been pathetic. You can tell people are really, really biased against Tahnee if they're saying Cassi has a better walk. Tahnee's walk was great, but at times it could overdo the sexiness. Clare was, of course, flawless.

Cassi 23
Clare 37
Tahnee 24

POTENTIAL
3. Tahnee +4
2. Clare +8
1. Cassi +12
I don't have to really explain this, right? I don't think Tahnee has NO potential like, oh, I don't know, EVERYONE ELSE ON THE INTERNET, she's got an amazing face (with crazy cheekbones, actually) and her promo shot and pre-show photos suggest she can lose weight very easily, but she doesn't really compare to Clare or Cassi. Cassi needs a whole lot of polishing in many ways, but yes, she looks like a working model.

Cassi 35
Clare 45
Tahnee 28

Clare FTW. And for President.

Whether Team Cassi, Tahnee, Clare, or someone else...

We all need to remember this.

I mean, I like Allison and Teyona and all and even Aminat quite a bit, but come on.

Apparently Cassi just got signed by Elite NY too. Wooooo! Prove my doubts about you wrong, you boganista.

Oh, and...

One of these girls is so stunning, it should be illegal (hint: it's the one on the right), and the other one needs to have her mouth ripped off her face (hint: it's the one on the left). No, I'm not talking teeth, I'm talking mouth. Even if Cassi got her teeth fixed, her mouth would still just look... bad.

Ugh, I'm being so mean! I love Cassi as a model for the most part! And I don't even like Tahnee all that much! But Cassi has the most annoying stans ever, and Tahnee has the most annoying... I dunno what to call them. Anti-stans? Anti-Tahnee stans? I'll go with that.

Tahneeeeee.

Clare should have won this ish, but I came to root for Tahnee because the Cassi stans are so fucking annoying. Also, Tahnee is every type of attractive you could want: cute, pretty, just plain gorgeous, smoking hot. It sounds weird saying that, as I'm straight, and I'm pretty sure she's 16, but it's true.

Oh, and the reactions to her win have been predictably hilariously awful (ZOMG FATNEE IS SUCH A FAT WHORE FAT FAT FAT DID I MENTION SHE'S OBESE OH MY GOD SHE'S SO DISGUSTING NOW PARDON ME WHILE I DROWN IN CHEETOS), but... whatever, haters. She's got the title, and the cash, and the prizes, and what have you. I think Demelza last year had a stunning face, but everyone looked the other way when it came to her body. Tahnee is waaaay more gorgeous and has about the same body, but because she's not some bitch, everyone hates her (odd, that).

Go, Tahnee. Prove them haters wrong.

And best of luck to the other girls, because they're all amazing. Cassi, if you get off your ass and walk halfway decently, you could be a great international model, but until then, I ain't quite believing your hype 10000%.

AusNTM C5 girls in review, Part 2

Adele

Ugh. To be honest, this girl was SUCH a disappointment, even bigger than Sandra on ANTM C12 (who, looking back, actually had a pretty strong portfolio). This promo shot is amazing, the best shot of them all. Her pre-show work was OUTSTANDING. And then she gets on the show and... to be honest, she more or less sucks. She can walk, but she has the worst case of Mushyface in more or less all her photos. It's not even a case of having to lose weight or anything, she's just got a weird face that photographs really badly a lot of the time. Oh, and she looks NOTHING like Alice, I am so tired of hearing that they look so similar. They both have red hair and pale-ass skin, and that's where the similarities end.

Cassi

I'm so tired of hearing about how this girl is Modeling Jesus or whatever. To be honest, she's incredibly uneven. All of her photos up to the desert lingerie (except for the Kotex ad) were STUNNING, and since then, she's been a big pile of blah for me. Between her slipping performance, inability to walk (say she's improved all you like, the girl still can't walk), and Tahlia-esque "I wanna quit!!!" bullshit, I would have cut her at the final six or five or so. That said, she is a really modelesque girl who took some awesome pictures along the way. That desert lingerie photo? I despise this descriptor, but it is, genuinely, something that could appear in Vogue. It wasn't the best photo of the week because she missed the entire point of the shoot in showing off the lingerie, but as a photo, it was the best (does that make any sense?). Just... stunning. But looking back, she's kind of been a disappointment, too, but not along the lines of Adele. If she hadn't started so strong, she might have seemed better toward the end. And frankly, if she didn't have so many obnoxious stans, I'd like her way more.

Clare

This girl is a fucking goddess. She's just amazing. Along with friggin' amazing ladies like Gemma, Chloe, Samantha, and Zoe from C1, Lara, Maddy, and Louise from C2, Alice, Paloma, and Anika from C3, and Samantha and Caris from C4, she's one of my favorite - not just AusNTM models, but all-time NTM models. She killed the competition, taking insanely great photos, stomping the hell out of it on the catwalk, and having a great look for the industry, not to mention an extremely professional attitude (they really went overtime to give her the bitch edit on her way out though, yeah?). Apparently the Australian viewers were outraged she was eliminated, and I don't blame them. She's the winner for me, by far. She's got no competition.

Eloise

She looks a LOT like Clark from ANTM C11, but without Clark's ever-so-lovely personality. Anyway, Eloise didn't last very long and she didn't have a huge personality, so she didn't leave all that much of an impression, except that she's got an awesome body and OMG I LOVE HER BEAUTY SHOT. It's perfect. She looks like Gisele there. I don't think she should have left when she did, but she seemed filler-ish anyway, so I didn't think she was going to win.

Franky

I like Franky a lot more than the average AusNTM viewer... but I still don't really like her. From Week 1, she was getting "SHE NEEDS TO GO HOME NOOOWWWW!!!"-type comments, which she didn't really deserve. She generally performed well on photoshoots and didn't take THE worst photos like everyone said she did. But she definitely shouldn't have gotten to the top five over... most of the girls she beat out (except, funnily enough, Adele could have gone before her and I wouldn't have minded). That was kind of a joke.

Georgie

Like Eloise, she didn't really stay long enough, or have a big enough personality, to make any sort of impression on me. She didn't even have an AWESOME photo like Eloise did with her beauty shot, but her portfolio was pretty good. She was really young and lovely and stuff, and though I don't think she should have gone exactly when she did, I can't really think of who else could have gone in her place.

Laura M.

This promo photo is soooo lolz, but I love her to pieces. She's actually my second-favorite girl from the show, but I think her performance was slightly disappointing, save for her AMAZING tulle on the trapeze photo. I think her leaving when she did was right, but not considering that Adele and Franky, who I would have happily said goodbye to prior to Laura, were still there. I just think she's so stunning in person, even with that weirdish makeover, and she had such a great attitude, among a cycle filled with total crazies. I really like her and hope she's successful.

Laura T.

She's really modelesque - you can see how great her face is for the industry even in this semi-crappy shot - but her Week 1 photo wasn't really any good at all. Um... yeah, that's all I have to say about her.

Leah

My least favorite girl by far. Heh, even the tinypic URL or whatever that she has here has a "meh" in it! She didn't take a good photo on the show (including this promo shot, it's the worst one by miles) and her attitude seemed pretty rancid. Hahahaha @ her mocking Clare's pale skin. Way to know the industry you're in, moron.

Lola

Based on this promo shot and the first couple of photoshoots, I really didn't like her... but I came to LOVE her. She's the opposite of Cassi; her face is so weird for the industry, her body's not right for it either, and she started out weak but then started kicking ass. Seriously, that Chanel photo is fucking stunning. She also had a hilarious, awesome personality. When she stole Cassi's line? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA too funny. I wish she'd lasted longer.

Madison

She's a mess in this promo shot, and well... she was kind of a mess on the show too. But she was a mess that could take one hell of a photo. I really think she should have gotten much, much farther than she did. Also, she's hella gorgeous. She looks like some '60s movie star in her beauty shot. I love it.

Mikarla

In her short time on the show, Mikarla became one of my favorites. I think she should be the "bogan" in the F2, not Cassi. Her first photo was ass ass ass - yeah, being as skinny as she is awesome in the modeling world, but when you are that skinny, you shouldn't make a pose that suggests you're on the rack - but after that, I think her photos were really, really pretty. She may be nearly as trashy as Cassi, but like Cassi, in most of her photos this inner grace and beauty comes out, only Mikarla was even softer and prettier than Cassi. I really liked her, and though her attitude sucks (though it didn't suck in the way Cassi's did IIRC, where Cassi always wants to effin' go home), I would have loved for her to stick around to the end.

Tahnee

Yeah, yeah, we all know Tahnee's body isn't right for modeling, and Sarah is insanely biased toward her. But still, I like this girl. I think people ignore her great photos because OMG she has an unmodelesque body, and also, let's face it, she's got THAT FACE. I may have said this before, but I say this to everyone about Tahnee, she is so fucking gorgeous I can't even believe I live on the same planet as her. I don't know who I want to win between her and Cassi, but they'll both be great winners... though not half the winner Clare would have been. Ahem.

Just to reiterate, my elimination order.

13. Leah
G'bye ugly girl who takes poor photos and has an unpleasant personality to boot.

12. Laura T.
She's got a good amount of potential, but that first photo was really bad... she's got a great face, but it doesn't always photograph so well.

11. Adele
We've been over her problems. Her first three photos were awful (actually, the one she landed B2 for was the best, but both of the other two were the worst of the week), and looking back, she could have gone here and it would have probably improved the cycle for me.

10. Franky
Yeah, she's just lackluster. Hey, at least I'm not screaming for her to go Week 1 then be IMMEDIATELY KILLED or whatever, like, IDK, EVERYONE ELSE.

9. Georgie
She shouldn't have gone quite as early as she did, but she was just kind of bland. She took good photos, but nothing amazing.

8. Eloise
She just seems kind of filler. She's got an amazing body, but a weird face. She's taken one amazing photo, but she's also had her share of busted photos. Compared to the girls that are left, she hasn't performed as well.

7. Laura M.
UGH it kills me to cut her this early, but other than the tulle trapeze shot, her overall performance was pretty disappointing. I think she has a gorgeous face, but she seemed to get larger and frumpier every episode.

6. Tahnee
Her face is flawless, but her portfolio's uneven and, let's face it, she's not going to work in high fashion with that body. At this point, letting any of the girls go is a huge regret, and I would encourage her to try and find commercial work, like in makeup or perfume ads.

5. Cassi
She started off the frontrunner for me, but she started fading quite a few weeks ago. She still can't walk and she doesn't want to be here anyway, so at this point, she's kind of the obvious cut. She's gonna have a great career, though... if she wants it, at all.

4. Madison
She is gorgeous, and so are her pictures... but she can't walk and in person, she is a mess.

3. Lola
She's improved the most and I do love her face and the fact that she's actually got a personality, but though her portfolio is great, I don't think it could compare to the two blonde bombshells that are my F2.

2. Mikarla
Great look, mostly great portfolio, but honestly, absolutely no one compares to...

1. Clare
She's the complete package. She's got a great look and body, an awesome portfolio and walk, and she's got such a professional attitude to succeed in the industry. She's one of the best contestants on an NTM ever, and this girl was so so robbed.

AusNTM C5 girls in review, Part 1

I really wish I would have done a review of them when the promo pics first came out a la MMaS kind of, but unfortunately, I didn't. I do, however, have my pre-show predictions without spoilers, so here they are. I just have the list, but no comments on it.

13. Mikarla (or whoever the shortest is)
12. Leah
11. Lola
10. Franky
9. Laura M.
8. Madison
7. Georgie
6. Cassi
5. Clare
4. Eloise
3. Laura T.
2. Tahnee
1. Adele

I know I did think Eloise and Laura T. were going to be total bitches and fashionistas. I thought Cassi would be around long enough to start some shit, but not long enough to win. I thought Clare would be robbed and guess what? She was. I did think Adele would take AMAZING photos and have like, the best portfolio EVER, but that was... a no. I also thought Tahnee was beyond stunning, even in her promo photo.

And here is my ~elite~ personal elimination order.

13. Leah
12. Laura T.
11. Adele
10. Franky
9. Georgie
8. Eloise
7. Laura M.
6. Tahnee
5. Cassi
4. Madison
3. Lola
2. Mikarla
1. Clare

I'll put my comments on these girls in another post...

PERFECTION

The F2 isn't perfection, though, because there's no Clare. FUCK YOU, JUDGES!

CassicomingbackandstealingtheprizefromTahneeorCassisundeservinghandsFTW!

AusNTM: this week & updated callouts

Celebrity icons:

1. Clare
We've been over this. OMG, stunning! None of the others are half as good as this one.

2. Tahnee
She really looks like Elizabeth Taylor, even with the buckteeth, but what's with the wonk eyes? Also, her body looks kinda... off. But it's the second best, as pathetic as that is!

3. Cassi
Again, the buckteeth are an issue (would Victoria Beckham ever expose giant buck teeth???!!!), but the bigger issue is the fact that this is way more Kate from Jon & Kate Plus Eight than Victoria Beckham. But it's a pretty good photo, saving her from the bottom two.

4. Franky
Eh... it's unintentionally comedic and she looks really dumb, but it's not all that bad.

5. Adele
Her body looks distorted and chunky and that face, as usual, is the face of a fugbeast. WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ADELE?!


Call-out averages, eliminated girls in italics:
Clare 3/2/3/3/1/3/3/1 (2.38) (DAMN)
Cassi 1/5/6/7/3/4/2/3 (3.88)
Madison 5/3/5/1/6 (4)
Tahnee 6/11/1/10/2/2/4/2 (4.75)
Lola 2/10/11/5/7/1/1 (5.29)
Georgie 4/4/8 (5.33)
Eloise 7/8/2/8 (6.25)
Franky 9/6/7/9/4/7/6/4 (6.5)
Mikarla 13/7/4/2 (6.5)
Adele 8/12/9/4/5/5/5/5 (6.63)
Laura M. 11/1/10/6/8/6 (7)
Leah 10/9 (9.5)
Laura T. 12 (12)

So, uh, yeah. CLARE OWNS YOU.

CLARE FTW

~S~T~U~N~N~I~N~G~
I really liked Salome and all, but compare her Twiggy photo to Clare's and there's no comparison. Holy crap. I know spoilers say Clare's third, but... OMG LOVE!

AusNTM shoot: Jumping.

Yeah, so, this week, the girls jumped on a trampoline for forty effin' minutes in designer duds (and the judges complained when girls were out of breath). The photos will apparently be auctioned off to support the fight against breast cancer, which is lovely. But OMG the photographer, she just kept screaming "POINT YOUR TOES, POINT YOUR TOES!!!!" and it was soooooo annoying. Apparently she was also on Australia's version of Make Me a Supermodel and was doing the same damn thing. Shut up, woman. She also screamed "YOU'RE OUT OF CONTROL!!!!" a few times, like poor Adele was drinking a forty on the trampoline.

Here's my call-out order! Please note that I've changed my mind on my call-out order like six times already...

1. Lola
Ugh... it figures Lola gets eliminated as she's getting... I'm not even gonna say "better," I'll say "downright good." Even AusNTM is ridiculous LOL. She's such a non-graceful girl, but here, she looks like some kind of ethereal ballerina. Her face really can look exquisitely beautiful sometimes, even with that jaw. My only fault is that her thighs looked big, but everyone with exposed thighs in this challenge... they were lookin' chunky.

2. Cassi
The arms on this one are all messed up. But other than that, it's just great.

3. Clare
GORGEOUS. It's like some ethereal angel... but those eyes, eek! Seriously, it's only because of the eyes that it's down this low. Otherwise, this photo is like a religious experience.

4. Tahnee
I love the energy in this one. Again, the thighs look thick, but so did everyone who had exposed thighs. The bigger problem is the fact that the thighs disappeared and her face doesn't look as beautiful as she actually is.

5. Adele
Adele was so my favorite pre-show... but now, is this bitch ever gonna impress me? She just looks snarly and possessed, and her pose is boring. Pose... boring... on a trampoline. And her face just doesn't photograph well.

6. Franky
In a way, it was kinda sabotage. She's the only one that didn't get a beautiful, voluminous dress that would look great with... uh... "wind in the dress" or whatever you want to call it. But she didn't go home, so... not that much sabotage. Her pose is lame and she's really made that face quite a few times this season, and it's just not flattering. I've been hearing "FRANKY NEEDS TO GO HOME, ARGLBLARGL" since day 1 of this show... when she wasn't actually all that bad. But now? Yeah, FRANKY NEEDS TO GO HOME.

Average call-outs for the remaining girls:

Adele 8/12/9/4/5/5/5 = 6.86
Cassi 1/5/6/7/3/4/2 = 4
Clare 3/2/3/3/1/3/3 = 2.57
Franky 9/6/7/9/4/7/6 = 6.86
Tahnee 6/11/1/10/2/2/4 = 5.14

And the girls that are gone...
Laura T. 12 = 12
Leah 10/9 = 9.5
Georgie 4/4/8 = 5.33
Eloise 7/8/2/8 = 6.25
Mikarla 13/7/4/2 = 6.5
Madison 5/3/5/1/6 = 4
Laura M. 11/1/10/6/8/6 = 7
Lola 2/10/11/5/7/1/1 = 5.29

As you can see, Clare is the only consistent one of these bitches. Clare FTW. Unfortunately, there are all kinds of spoilers goin' round that say she gets third, after being called first the next two episodes, and winning the challenge and taking an amazing photo - that the judges raaaave about - the week she's kicked out. YOU MOTHERFUCKERS DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACT!

Based on multiple spoilers, the F2 is Cassi and Tahnee (the finale is live, so the winner hasn't been decided yet). I don't know who I want to win out of those two. Cassi's been acting like goddamn Tahlia the entire time and she can't do anything but take a good picture - and even there, she's a little shaky - and Tahnee, while unbelievably gorgeous, just doesn't have a model body. I'm surprised they didn't get on her for being plus-size at that interview where Lola was accused of being plus-size. I'm also surprised that the judges haven't gotten on her about her body size. Wow, that's making me sound like I hate these two, when I love them both. Let's face it, they've taken some amazing photos, they're both totally gorgeous - Tahnee is just unbelievably beautiful, and Cassi has an Audrey Hepburn thing going on that shines through her low-class personality - and they'll be better winners than... uh... any winner of ANTM save maybe Danielle TBH.

Cassi & Clare.

Yes I know I have to label every AusNTM entry with the ANTM title and that's an insult to AusNTM. (cries)

Australia's Next Top Model S5.

So I should get caught up on this. AusNTM is pretty much the most amazing NTM series ever, and this season in particular has been really strong. The girls are gorgeous and even the "bad" pictures are very strong. So let me catch up to where we are now...




WEEK 1 ::: SWIMWEAR COUTURE

1. Cassi
Cassi may be a psycho (though her attitude is improving) with Tahlia's attitude about the competition, but she can take one hell of a photo. This is a really hard pose to hold, but she pulls it off effortlessly.

2. Lola
That's a weird face, but I love her pose. She looks like a great pin-up.

3. Clare
Her body looks great, and that face is kind of literally orgasmic.

4. Georgie
Considering that she's hoisting up that huge ball, I think this photo is really cute and pretty graceful. Love that face.

5. Madison
I wish we could see more of the suit (the full version is much better), but she looks really beautiful. Do something with that hair and she's awesome.

6. Tahnee
Again, I wish we could see more of the swimsuit... but she's working all the weird accessories she was given, and she's really beautiful.

7. Eloise
The face is wacky and it seems like a poor imitation of Claire's, but great body on this one, and she's showing it off well.

8. Adele
It wasn't bottom two worthy, but it wasn't great either. I love her posiness, actually, she looks very pin-up girl. But it's off in the face and the angle is kind of odd (not that that's her fault).

9. Franky
I like her body pose a lot minus the weird arm. But her face is just kind of odd.

10. Leah
It's just... not great. I think it's kinda cute, but it also looks like she has a headache.

11. Laura M.
WAAYYYY too squinty and we need to see more of the suit.

12. Laura T.
It's pretty blah. Her ass looks thick and this photo honestly reminds me of little else other than some celebrity caught by the paparazzi sunbathing, and putting her hand up to block it. Not a model.

13. Mikarla
No, it's not the worst thing for a model to be INCREDIBLY skinny. It IS really bad, however, when you pose like that and look like you're being tortured on the rack when you're that skinny.



WEEK 2 ::: SUSPENDED TRAPEZE

1. Laura M.
Homegirl nailed it. That's all. It's amazing she got that pose while all scrunched up.

2. Clare
Gorgeous ethereal fashion nymph.

3. Madison
It's a little messy... but I love the energy. It's really engaging. I wish the clothes looked just a little better.

4. Georgie
I think she looks really calm and collected and I love her pose.

5. Cassi
I love how relaxed she looks, like she's hanging out by a wall or something, but I don't like that smirky weird face.

6. Franky
I love her pose, even if she is very showgirl.

7. Mikarla
She looks a little disheveled and sweaty, but overall, I get kind of an ethereal effect from this photo. Her body looks great this week.

8. Eloise
She looks pretty disheveled and she's got a titscrepancy, but... I don't know. It's not that bad. I like her pose.

9. Leah
There's nothing special in this photo, but it's not offensively bad. She could use a little more lightness in her eyes and face, because she looks so dull.

10. Lola
I actually really like her face, but her pose is lamer than Leah's. She's just sitting there, but she's managed to completely distort her arms. Also, her legs look REALLY skinny, and I suspect they were almost completely Photoshopped. It looks like she's afraid of showing her underwear so she CLAMPED them together, which is never exactly a great look.

11. Tahnee
I like how she was going for something different and her face looks so pretty and soft, but this photo is just a noooo. She looks fat, she's missing one of her legs and her other limbs look short, weird, and distorted. And uh, what's up with the boobs?

12. Adele
I remember in full view, this is much better... but I still don't like it. Her face just photographs badly and she looks wide. Either way, it's the worst of the week.



WEEK 3 ::: NATURAL BEAUTY SHOTS

1. Tahnee
It's beautiful but ethereal. It really looks like the cover of some high-end fashion magazine. She still looks youthful, but she looks really mature as well.

2. Eloise
Incredible. I love the expresssion she's giving with her eyes, and how she went for something a little different than the other girls and totally succeeded.

3. Clare
She is otherworldly... that's all. Like the judges said, I get this very ethereal Cate Blanchett in Lord of the Rings thing from her.

4. Mikarla
It's so soft and pretty. She transformed the pain she was feeling in her eyes into total passion.

5. Madison
Wow, she looks like a movie star from the '70s in this photo. It's so glamorous. I love the look on her face. Damn, these photos are all so amazing!!

6. Cassi
The teeth kind of ruin it a little bit, but I think it has this "I'm caught in the moment" beauty about it. She really transforms into gorgeousness on any given set.

7. Franky
I like this angle on her face. You can see her bone structure so well, her makeover did wonders for her. I love the slight parting of the lips, but she's not pushing it as far as these other girls.

8. Georgie
She looks fresh, but kind of... pedo young. And something about her face looks almost masculine... something with the styling, I think. I'm not crazy about it.

9. Adele
Again, her face just photographs ugly. And her hair is WAAAYYY too bright, it'll clash with everything.

10. Laura M.
Who the hell styled her hair? I would like to fire them. But she's not doing a whole lot to help, either... she looks really old around her eyes and lips.

11. Lola
LULZ.



WEEK 4 ::: MOVEMENT FOR KOTEX
I don't know why they needed a double elimination, dammit!

1. Madison
I love how whimsical, yet controled that is. She's got such fire in this photo.

2. Mikarla
Fantastic photo. I love that coy look and the movement. Damn her bad attitude, she was only improving photo-wise!

3. Clare
I didn't think she could pull off "adorable," but she totally does it. Ugh, she's wonderful. I love that little leg kick. So cute!

4. Adele
FINALLY she gives me something! That face is a little wonky still, and the body is... I dunno, something's off, but I am an absolute SUCKER for WIND IN THE HAIR! And she's got a great pose.

5. Lola
That dress makes her look pregnant, but I love her pose and her face looks amazing.

6. Laura M.
You know what... I do like that expression on her face. It's very coy. And she looks like Chanel Iman. But I don't see the energy that I do in the others' photos.

7. Cassi
It's awkward, and the proportions of that dress are kind of odd. Her face just looks uncomfortable. But she looks long and lean. It's not a bad photo.

8. Eloise
Great pose. AWFUL face.

9. Franky
That dress looks unflattering on her. And her face is just awful, old and drag.

10. Tahnee
Beautiful face... but I don't see energy and her body looks thiiick.



WEEK 5 ::: LINGERIE IN THE DESERT

1. Clare
More or less perfection... she really got that high fashion editorial broken down thing, plus she's showing off the clothes so well.

2. Tahnee (I'm using the website version, but I'd put the show's version here too)
AMAZING. Her body doesn't look perfect, but I think she looks like a woman, not some stick. Her pose is so determined and it really looks like an ad.

3. Cassi
As a photo, it's BEYOND outstanding. That face is PERFECTION. As a lingerie ad... where is the lingerie?!

4. Franky
I think this is easily her best photo yet. She really pulled off that pose and doesn't look uncomfortable. Her signature scowl is working great.

5. Adele
I just don't like where it's cut off, plus it looks like she needs to tone up a bit. It's good, but it's not special. Maybe it's the best her face has looked though, if not last week.

6. Madison
It's just kind of... stiff. And I see a lot of "sexual assault victim," which isn't good at all.

7. Lola
It's dull, and her proportions look off with the weird cropping.

8. Laura M.
I love her... but her photos were never top tier except Week 2. She looks thick and her face just looks bad.



WEEK 6 ::: CHANEL (!!!!) POSING

1. Lola
Yeah, I didn't think she could pull this off either. But she looks positively divine. Love that bone structure, and her pose.

2. Tahnee
I know it was just a test shot or something, but it's divine. She looks tiny, and I love the pose. She's making it look expensive... I see a sexy schoolmarm or something. I think it's wonderful.

3. Clare
The face is a little weird, she looks slightly fishy, but I love that pose. It's just so subtly couture, yet sexy at the same time.

4. Cassi
She looks very disengaged, but again, I get sexy schoolteacher. She looks like she's wearing Chanel... you can tell it's expensive just by her pose.

5. Adele
Best picture of the season, Sarah? Whuh? I like that smirk but her face STILL DOES NOT LOOK GOOD. And I'm not crazy about her pose, obviously she looks all scrunched up.

6. Laura M.
Well, she looks beautiful, but it's just so dull. She could be advertising anything, and that's not good for freaking Chanel. She didn't deserve to leave, though, not over...

7. Franky

I don't think she's as bad as most AT ALL. But this photo isn't good at all. That pose is lame, and she looks really hunched and in an uncomfortable way, not a high fashiony way. Her signature snarl/scowl looks awful. You know she'd do this pose and that face no matter what she was selling, too. Blah.

I love this show SFM. LOVE!

Baz Luhrmann to direct The Great Gatsby?

Uh, I dunno, Baz. I mean... no one's been able to do a good movie version of it until now, what makes you so sure you can do it? Please stick to your batshit crazy musicals!

(Yes, I still need to see Australia, but judging by the attention it's getting this awards season/the reviews, maybe not so much)

Justine visits Australia

You'll notice I seem not all that excited for Australia, Baz Luhrmann's latest spectacular, spectacular. After all, I am batshit crazy for Moulin Rouge!. But, here's the thing. I didn't really like Strictly Ballroom. I didn't like Romeo + Juliet that much. Musicals just suit Baz's style. I mean, if your films are going to be insane, why not have them singing U2 and Elton John? Why not have them break into a can-can number and sing atop a giant elephant while the moon sings to them? I totally understand why people (my mom included, who normally has really good taste in movies) can hate Moulin Rouge!. But one of the things I like about it so much is that it's so willing to take chances and explode off the screen with its insanity. Australia...is a historical epic. Baz's films would be epic if they were about fixing toasters. Don't get me wrong; after Moulin Rouge!, I will go see anything Baz Luhrmann tells me to, especially if it stars Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman. I just...wish I was more excited, that's all. (when November rolls around, though, I'll probably be screaming in antici...pation.)