Happy Birthday, Mr. Pettitte!

Oh so pretty.

because all the Yankees are injured and I'm having a mental breakdown about it

Oh God you're so pretty Andy.

in case you forgot.

Scarlett Johansson is so hot.

you know what makes me feel better?

Chinese food and pictures of Andy Pettitte.

TONGUE.

Stubble. Eyes. Cheekbones. Neck. I want. Badly.

something else very tasty

I want to lick Andy's neck in the worst way. And the bulging, sweaty arm? Unnnnffffff.

Sorry, it's late and I clearly need sex or something. Wow, did I say that?

okay I know Nigel Barker is a sleazebucket...

but he's really hot. Dammit.

Oh holy crap. Again.

I just... I...

it's sooooo lovely.

I may have said this before, but...

I love Andrew Eugene Pettitte. I hate to talk intangibles, but he's a winner in every way. Seriously, he had nothing early on last night, was apparently dealing with a terrible case of whiplash from that collision with Ellsbury, the umpire was squeezing him like no other, and he still pitched a really great game and made the pitches when he had to.

Also, my heart just about melted when he wanted to know if Youkilis was okay. And that fist pump after striking out Ortiz was hawt.

HOLY SHIT

IS THIS THE REAL LIFE?
IS THIS JUST FANTASY?

CAUGHT IN A LAAAAANDSLIDE...

SERIOUSLY DOES THIS PICTURE REALLY EXIST AND IF SO HOW DID I NEVER SEE IT BEFORE?!?%#%%?

(fans self)

I'm watching a repeat of the Yankee game from earlier and did Ken Singleton say he saw Andy in the locker room and Andy's body was conditioned well? WOW. You should... not say these things to me and other impressionable young ladies that may be watching, Ken.

I'll be in my bunk.

YES Network knows what its lady viewers like.

Lots of pans over to Pettitte who was at that game he was not pitching in for some reason? Yes please.

bahahahah

Henry Cavill (fans self) posts on ONTD are definitely the best ever.

... as was one post that turned into a wayyyyy overshare about uhh that time of the month

YES Network seeks to torture me

Okay, so I found this clip of Teixeira from last year's Spring Training doing hitting drills that unfortunately I cannot link to. And at one point he's alllll sweaty and he like, whispers, "That's it right there."

O_O (falls over dead)

ETA: Oh Jesus later on in the clip Tex and Andy are talking to each other in like hushed tones about who will cover first base in certain situations and Andy is like "I love it. I love it so much." Holy fuck. I want to touch them soooo bad. Why is my boyfriend not here?!?

(if you want to see this clip you can go to the clip of Andy at the last night at Yankee Stadium and look under the stuff on "Yankees on Deck" on the side. It's the one about Teixeira. Dlajgljslgjasdf. Hot.)

oh Albert Pujols

You are so handsome and intelligent please speak beautiful Spanish to me and make me forget about dumb overreactions by Yankee fans and bad decisions by the FO.

Game 4 of the 1998 World Series was on earlier, and I gotta say...

There was this part where Jeter and Pettitte were like... whispering in each other's ears. It made me really happy. In my pants. Yeah.

oh. Oh, God.

Why are you showing me Andy Pettitte stretching, YES? Why must you torture me so?

new Yankee Magazine on YES

Andy is the main interview. :D

hottie vs. hottie

Mark Teixeira's line versus Andy Pettitte:
.478/.519/.609/1.127
The weird thing is that he has no home runs against him and only three doubles (compared to, say, his seven strikeouts). I dunno, I just think it's interesting. By comparison, A-Rod hits just .214 against Andy... but he's got five home runs against him.

Andy Pettitte has HUGE hands.

*drool*