HOLY SHIT

IS THIS THE REAL LIFE?
IS THIS JUST FANTASY?

CAUGHT IN A LAAAAANDSLIDE...

SERIOUSLY DOES THIS PICTURE REALLY EXIST AND IF SO HOW DID I NEVER SEE IT BEFORE?!?%#%%?

a visit to Yankee camp

Bif > this Andy person but it's still funny. Texy!!

Also ughhh Andy Pettitte in a t-shirt and shorts, I can't decide whether this means I'm going to have nice dreams tonight or whether I won't be able to sleep because of it. Oh Andrew, the things I would do to/with you...

CC Sabathia seems like a really good person and that makes me happy =)

ETA: This was originally titled "Letterman visits Yankee camp" and then I realized that was untrue and changed it. But my mistake remains in the title of this post. Boo.

YES Network seeks to torture me

Okay, so I found this clip of Teixeira from last year's Spring Training doing hitting drills that unfortunately I cannot link to. And at one point he's alllll sweaty and he like, whispers, "That's it right there."

O_O (falls over dead)

ETA: Oh Jesus later on in the clip Tex and Andy are talking to each other in like hushed tones about who will cover first base in certain situations and Andy is like "I love it. I love it so much." Holy fuck. I want to touch them soooo bad. Why is my boyfriend not here?!?

(if you want to see this clip you can go to the clip of Andy at the last night at Yankee Stadium and look under the stuff on "Yankees on Deck" on the side. It's the one about Teixeira. Dlajgljslgjasdf. Hot.)

hottie vs. hottie

Mark Teixeira's line versus Andy Pettitte:
.478/.519/.609/1.127
The weird thing is that he has no home runs against him and only three doubles (compared to, say, his seven strikeouts). I dunno, I just think it's interesting. By comparison, A-Rod hits just .214 against Andy... but he's got five home runs against him.

ROID RAGE??? (I am kidding. I hope)

When the Yankees signed Teixeira, I knew he was an excellent player and I primarily remembered him for that grand slam off of Edwar Ramirez but more so... this. It was from 2006 and I still remembered seeing it, and hey, I finally found the video of it!!

dead Texy

I really miss baseball, guys. (I also love how Matsui was just chillin' there while the rest of the Yankees were freaking out about A-Rod getting to 30/100.)

I wonder why "Get Low" is in my head.

Covered. In. It. Getting. It. Poured. On. Him.

Ohhhh skeet skeet motherfuckaaaaahh oh skeet skeet goddamn!

unfy

" Not even Johnny Damon, a straight shooter, has the kind of edge to his personality that Teixeira displayed. One Yankee insider said, 'Tex doesn’t show it in public, but he’s got some Tino [Martinez] and Paulie [O’Neill] in him. You should see him in the dugout. Him and A.J. [Burnett]. They’ve both got [tempers].' "

When I was like eight or ten, I remember being genuinely scared of Paul O'Neill because he was SO INTENSE!!!! about EVERYTHING!!!!!! But was Tino always angry? Huh.

Anyway, Tex is hot, may be hotter if he's got one hell of a temper about baseball, and I'm glad he's not injured after that asshole Ray pitcher hit him. :(

Tex: Worth it for the faces alone.

Hey there, October. When did you happen?

"ENJOY YOURSELF, BITCHES! IT'S A CELEBRAAATION!!!!"

New York Yankees clinch AL East

3:30 or thereabouts on. Drunk Tex all coated in champagne? Oh YES. And there's other funny stuff.

The baseball game today.

This was during the game, when Tex and A-Rod scored the runs on Matsui's single that would give them the lead, which they wouldn't relinquish for the rest of the game. And... Mark Teixeira being WAYYY TOO OMG EXCITED!!!! about something? Yeah, how surprising.

Mo is... Mo. ILhim. And he looks so handsome with a hat! And TERRIBLE without one.

This is my favorite photo in a while. Is this guy ever gonna age? And whoah, chicken legs.

Yeah, I might have saved that photo as "hotwetarod," you wanna make something of it?

This might be my favorite picture of the day because everyone else is like "yay champagne fun times!!!" and Tex is drinkin' a beer, y'all. Keepin' it classy.

He is just love.

Who the hell is the guy on the right? And why is Sergio Mitre (that is Sergio Mitre, right?) looking like Zac Efron here?

A Yankee newbie and THE MAN.

Ace is my favorite bullpen member other than Mo, and hip hip JORGE!

This photo is gonna inspire a lot of fanfiction.

Well done, boys. Well done.

I wanna rock!

Yankees back in the post-season, where they belong, due to a gem of a game where they won not only in the house of horrors for them that is the Anaheim stadium, but with the game being broadcast on My9*? AND after blowing a 5-0 lead then breaking a tie with Brett Gardener's ridiculosity, to boot?

ROCK OUT, BOYS!
Especially you, Tex and Swish. You deserve it!

* Seriously, they always lose on My9 =/ BUT NOT TODAY!

UNFFFF

So my mom was watching ESPN today (I think), and I was listening in, and they were talking about Tex's awesomeness, and they kept going on about how he's got a great hip rotation and how he can really move his lower half to power the ball...

Yeah. Much like this, thank you for that, ESPN. Thank you.

Sexy Texy.

I said something like, "C'mon, Tex, don't you wanna get to 32 home runs soon?" and then BAM. Literally next pitch. 3-run home run. I rule (and so does Mark).

Luuuurvely.

Here ya go. Thank you, prompt YouTube-rs.

He is dorky. He has a dorky haircut. As Dave said, he looks about 15. And I like him so much more for being dorky!

FINALLY.

Oh, Mark, you are so cute, but David Letterman is right, you kind of look fifteen, and he forgot to add that you kind of have a weird haircut. Additionally, I adore you, but that was a sucky-ass Late Show that I had to sit through for your cuteness/hotness. Still, SO CUTE. It was worth it! MCT 4 MVP y'alls


This is lame, but a random note. You know that "don't trust a ho" song, the actual name of which I can't think of right now?* Okay, why do they bleep out the ho but keep the "do the Helen Keller" line? That latter line is... way more offensive.


*I looked it up. It is "Don't Trust Me" by 30H3 or something like that.

HAH.

Yes, this is kind of old. But I'm gonna be quoting it from now on. And I realize he's a streaky goofball, but I love me some Swish! And Tex, obviously.

This is hysterical too. I swear I am not one of those obnoxious Yankees fans who runs around screaming "BOSTON SUCKS!" Cuz they don't. They're a really good team. Scary good. Which is why I hope we massacre them and they don't make the playoffs. :D

in which I admit to watching David Letterman

So my dad is really into David Letterman's show and he always watches it, and goes on and on about how funny it is. And it usually is. Really. The only issue is that The Colbert Report, which is even funnier, is on at the same time, and I can't get over the fact that I feel about 47 years old watching David Letterman.

And then.

I found out about this.

Oh yeah. There's at least one reason to watch Letterman over Colbert on Monday. SEXY TEXY!

Oh HELL yes.

Via a citation on Wikipedia:

There's more to Mark Teixeira than just baseball. While promoting his work with the National Foundation for Cancer Research/Coppertone’s “Help Strike Out Sun Damage” program, the Yankee first baseman confessed he’s a big fan of the Great White Way. “My favorite musical of all time is ‘Les Miserables,’” he said. “But ‘Phantom of the Opera’ and ‘Miss Saigon’ are great too!”

So I guess we're pretty much dating now! Or not.

I would have this picture saved.

Yeah.

Um, yeah.

ESPN was interviewing him after the game and he was all sweaty and... yeah.