I love Minority Report.

Hate me if you will, kittens - it's Spielberg! the ending is ludicrously saccharine (actually, no argument from me there)! it's not like the book! it has plot holes! - but I'm sorry, it just kicks ass.

Entertainment Weekly's list of the top 50 working directors.

50. Sidney Lumet
Yes, he is badass. And should be over a LOT of these guys.

49. Mary Harron
I love that just because she's a woman her work apparently subverts the patriarchy or whatever. I'm in a women's studies class and OH MY GOD, GUYS, I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE, WHITE WOMEN WHO ARE WEALTHY ENOUGH TO MAKE FILMS AREN'T THE MOST OPPRESSED PEOPLE IN THE WORLD CAN WE MOVE ON????? ahem

48. Michael Moore
He's an absolute beyond obnoxious asshole........ and he's generally right as all hell. His movies are very strong.

47. Andrew Stanton
Well seeing as he's made, like, ALL my favorite movies, yes. I just never know who's really in charge of what in an animated movie, stupid as that might sound.

46. Mira Nair
Her work is beautiful, but often doesn't do all that much for me. I feel very underinformed about the Indian culture, though.

45. Wes Anderson
Sometimes he's great. Sometimes he's crap. I'll always love him for having a man-crush on Bill Murray and constantly keeping him employed, though.

44. Wong Kar-Wai
OMG MAKE HIM HIGHER NOWWWWW

43. David Lynch
Eh. He's very overrated, but I can't deny how much I love Blue Velvet. Oh, and Lost Highway formed a cult? Mulholland Dr. was a masterpiece? See, EW, this is why I call him overrated.

42. Spike Lee
HELL YES. Not always great, not always even good, but when he's on, this guy is on. And he's on quite a bit. He should be much higher.

41. Richard Linklater
Very uneven.

40. Spike Jonze
So weird. I do like some of his movies a whole lot, though.

39. Roman Polanski
There is no denying he is a legend, but his work lately has been meh.

38. Oliver Stone
Sometimes I love him and sometimes I want to punch him in the jaw. Oooh, I really need to see W.

37. Mike Leigh
Love him, even if Happy-Go-Lucky and Sally Hawkins' performance in it were huge disappointments. His methods of working are just great, and he looks like a cuddly uncle.

36. Hayao Miyazaki
Uh, yeah. He's basically flawless. He and Pixar should just make every animated movie and nobody else should even bother.

35. Alfonso Cuaron
A little too technical, a little overpraised, but still very good.

34. JJ Abrams
I haven't seen a whole lot of what he's done, because it's mostly TV stuff, but yeah, he is extraordinarily influential with a huge fanbase.

33. Wachowski brothers
No. =/ Hated The Matrix, all of them.

32. Mel Gibson
Again, no. =/

31. Sam Mendes
I adore him, but I don't think he'll ever make a film that will live up to American Beauty. That thing is fuckin' flawless.

30. Bryan Singer
He made The Usual Suspects, which was badass and which I always forget he did. For that, I've got a lot of respect for him. I would have liked to see his take on Milk because IIRC he was originally slated to direct.

29. Sofia Coppola
I LOVE YOU RIGHT NOW EW. PLEASE MAKE HER HIGHER.

28. David Cronenberg
Eh. A History of Violence was pretty much perfect though.

27. Brad Bird
The favorite films of mine Andrew Stanton didn't make, this guy did.

26. Woody Allen
Yup. Lately he's been on a sort of creative renaissance too, which is great. He should be much higher, and beat...

25. Jon Favreau
Uh. I loved Iron Man, you loved Iron Man, we all loved Iron Man, but he does not deserve to be this high yet.

24. Pedro Almodovar
Love him, hate EW's explanation. "HURRRR HE SHOWS OFF PENELOPE'S TITS A+++!!!!"

23. Paul Greengrass
He really is a very good director, but I can't say I LOVE any of his films.

22. Paul Thomas Anderson
YES HIGHER PLZ KTHNXBYEEEEE

21. Ang Lee
He is such an asshole, as I have whined about before, but yes, an excellent director.

20. Ron Howard
His movies are usually good but not GREAT. I don't think he deserves a Best Director Oscar, but I did loooove Apollo 13.

19. Clint Eastwood
Like him, don't love him. I don't get the Academy's hard-on for him, or the bloggers' hate-on for him.

18. Danny Boyle
LOOK GUISE SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE WE ARE TRENDY. He's a good director, but not this good.

17. Darren Aronofsky

YES. Also, EW, you morons, you weren't sure he was concerned with human beings until The Wrestler? Did you see The Fountain or Requiem for a Dream? Idiots.

16. Zack Snyder

Well... I'll always appreciate that he made the cheesefest that is 300.

15. Sam Raimi

Yes, though probably not this high. And stop hating on Spider-Man 3!

14. Judd Apatow

Oh, I was wondering when he was going to show up. Seeing how this is EW, I think we should all be happy he's not in the top ten... get off his cock, Entertainment Weekly. And yes, when it comes to EW and Judd Apatow, I will always say the crudest thing possible. I think it's what Judd would want.

13. Tim Burton

He's not really my kind of director to be honest but he's prolific and he's made some very good films. I just think he's overrated and shouldn't be this high.

12. David Fincher

Yes. Of course, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is like his worst film, and the one he gets an Oscar nomination for, because that's how these things work.

11. Guillermo del Toro

He shouldn't be this high. He's very inventive, but that's... about... it.

10. Joel & Ethan Coen

Ugh, I love them. For some reason, they get misanthropy and dark comedy SO PERFECT.

9. James Cameron

Ummmmm... maybe. Definitely not top ten in my world.

8. Michael Mann

OHHHH MAN, I LOVE YOU FOR THIS ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY. Well, except Miami Vice. Man, that movie was bad, and all the people trying to justify it were even worse. People, there are better ways to subvert stupid ass summer movies than by MAKING THEM SUPER BORING.

7. Quentin Tarantino

Yes. He can basically do no wrong in my book.

6. Ridley Scott

In the past, maybe, but he's been in such a slump lately, unfortunately. I do need to see Body of Lies and judge for myself.

5. Steven Soderbergh

I LOOOOVE how he effortlessly moves between genres, from summer blockbusters to typical Oscarbait to weird-ass crap. Certainly one of the most important and yes, probably best directors of our time.

4. Christopher Nolan

Heck yes. I'm not exactly a fangirl, but I love how he subverts mainstream films and makes them thirty times more interesting. Like, Michael-Mann-directing-Miami-Vice, you need to learn from this guy.

3. Martin Scorsese

Why is he not #1? Look, I love Spielberg and like Jackson, but there's really no excuse.

2. Peter Jackson

I like him, but don't ZOMGLOTRLOOOOVE him.

1. Steven Spielberg

I'd put him more in the top five than #1 itself, but yeah, there's no doubt he has a very strong ouevre. And I think he's badass and really like him.

AFI's 100 Years, 100 Movies

yes, this is probably my only opportunity for an "I LOVE YOU!" moment tomorrow night

As anyone reading this (anyone out there?) would probably know, AFI's 100 Years, 100 Movies series is being updated, and the new list will be revealed tomorrow! I am ridiculously excited. No, the AFI really doesn't make the best choices. They favor bland Best Picture winners over true originals and trailblazers (1996: Forrest Gump was #71. Pulp Fiction, 95. Ewww.). Still, if you're not at least interested, you're lying (I've got my eye on you, certain bloggers). I tried to find just a plain list of the movies and their ranking back in 1996; here's the Wikipedia page, which won't copy and paste correctly, grr. Anyway, my search made me realize just how much I hate filmsite.org, which whines about how OMG THERE ARE THREE MODERN CRIME MOVIES ON IT (yeah, at #84, 94, and 95.) AND THERE NEED TO BE MORE SILENT MOVIES OMG OMG OMG. Also, the, for lack of a better term, stupid fuckers said Amadeus could be replaced with "better movies." Yes, "stupid fuckers" are rather harsh terms, but insult Amadeus in front of me and THAT'S WHAT YOU GET. Anyway. Here are the post-1997 movies on the ballot:

American Beauty *
As Good As It Gets
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery -
The Aviator
A Beautiful Mind * (ew?)
Being John Malkovich -
Boogie Nights
Brokeback Mountain
Chicago
Crash
Erin Brockovich
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind -
Fight Club -
Finding Nemo
Gladiator
Good Night, and Good Luck
Good Will Hunting
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban -
Hotel Rwanda
The Hours
The Insider -
L. A. Confidential
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring *
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King *
Lost in Translation
The Matrix -
Memento -
Million Dollar Baby * (this will probably replace Unforgiven)
Moulin Rouge! -
Mystic River
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl -
Ray
Requiem for a Dream -
Rushmore -
Saving Private Ryan *
Shakespeare in Love
Shrek
Sideways
The Sixth Sense
Spider-Man 2 -
There’s Something About Mary -
Three Kings -
Titanic *
Traffic

I put dashes next to the movies that have no chance of making it onto the top 400, because they are just far too weird for AFI. I starred the ones with the very best chances. I'm amazed Three Kings even freaking made it onto the ballot. I would cry of happiness if Lost in Translation or Eternal Sunshine made it onto the list, but I doubt either of them will. Still, my third or so favorite movie on there, American Beauty, will make it onto the list, and quite high, I'm hoping. Saving Private Ryan will be on the list, and quite high, because they are so wet for Spielberg (a note: I love Spielberg. A post in defense of Spielberg is coming soon, because today at work I was reading his Wikipedia article [I work so hard], and the "criticism" section pissed me off so goddamn much. It reminds me of the reason why I refuse to interact with my fellow bloggers. But I'll get into that in another entry. But anyway, the AFI loves him EVEN MORE. Like, if they ever heard someone dissing him, they would KILL THAT PERSON.). Titanic will be the highest debut. At least one of the Lord of the Rings movies will be on there (Return of the King having the highest likelihood), but please God not two/three because I don't want that to clog the list. If Crash is on there I will be thrilled and laugh a lot, especially if it is above Brokeback Mountain (or if the latter isn't even on the list!).

As far as the movies that are on the list...
Things that will probably do better: Goodfellas, Schindler's List (there's no way it's getting ranked below The Graduate now), Pulp Fiction, Annie Hall, The Godfather Part II, Amadeus better go up in the rankings you assholes, Network because it's become more than just a great movie, it's become bizarrely prophetic, anything Eastwood because since 1996, he's gone from being Legendary Actor, Okay Director with One Really Really Good Movie to The Greatest Director Of Our Time (And By That, We Mean Ever). Though if Unforgiven drops off the list totally and Million Dollar Baby is on it fairly high up, I won't be surprised.
Things that will probably fall in the rankings: The Graduate (boohoo), Dances with Wolves, Giant, Tootsie (waaaah), The Sound of Music, The African Queen (this is the same case as The Graduate - ranked incredibly high, but nobody talks about it!)

Coming tomorrow: my ballot based on the 400 movies, for what it would be worth. And of course, bitchy commentary on the new list, and much more complaining about stupid filmsite.org.

* Entry disclaimer: I can't say I really like the Lord of the Rings movies, but I recognize that they are great-to-good movies.

happy (slightly belated) birthday to one of the all-time greats

all-time.

you heard me.