Do the right thing.

I'm almost sure I've posted this here before. I don't really care, because it's so awesome that it should be posted EVERYWHERE. As much as I loved Crash, it gets Crash's point across much better.

Roger Ebert: can't talk,

still owns.

(I love him FOREVER for basically causing Crash to win Best Picture.)

isn't this why people hate Crash?...

It's going to be a TV show say what? Look, I think my admiration for Crash has been made clear. I thought it was terrific on first watch and terrific every time I saw it from then on. It also seemed blatantly obvious, at least to me, that it wasn't really about racism; at its core, it was about the fascinating interactions between people, of whatever race, in the beehive of Los Angeles. But I think since winning the Oscar, its makers have been exaggerating its importance. It's a good movie, it's not the be-all-end-all of moral dramas, and I certainly don't see the need for a TV series, especially not two years after the fact when the Brokeback Mountain fans have finally started to freakin' get over it. Sorry, Paul Haggis. I liked it the first time around, but I ain't gonna watch this version of it.

You know what would be hilarious?

Susie = AMPAS member
Tommy = Paul Haggis

If, against all odds, In the Valley of Elah got an Oscar nom for Best Original Screenplay. Ha! How much do you think the Brokeback fans would freak out over that? Paul Haggis nominated four years in a row! That said, it would be the most amazing thing ever if the movie had huge traction with AMPAS and Tommy Lee Jones got in. If you can give him an Oscar for The Fugitive, you can give him at least a nomination for In the Valley of Elah (or No Country for Old Men)!

PS.: In the Valley of Elah was good but not great, but his competition from 2005's - Ang Lee, duh - movie of this year, Lust, Caution, was just great and much better than Lee's 2005 movie, Brokeback Mountain. Of course, it's being for the most part completely ignored.

More stupid criticism

"If Brokeback Mountain wasn't about gays, it would have been totally ignored!"

Durrr. Everyone knows I'm not the biggest fan of Brokeback Mountain. I gave a rather maniacal giggle of joy when Jack Nicholson announced "Crash...whoah." But well, the fact that Brokeback Mountain was a gay movie, but with every cliche of a straight romance, is the entire point of the movie. It's a genius concept...but the script is so stupid and over-the-top and it's so endlessly miserable with no payoff/catharsis at all (others will disagree, but that's how I feel.) that it doesn't work.

People are idiots.

"Crash was as subtle as a brick."

Um...who said it was supposed to be subtle? Racism's a hard issue to discuss. I mean, really, if you're gonna talk about racism, talk about racism. Hell, show me a movie about racism that is subtle. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner isn't (it's also pretty terrible). In the Heat of the Night isn't. Do the Right Thing, one of the greatest films ever made, isn't. And Crash had people meet it with total anger; for a movie like that, something even worse than people hating it is people thinking it's mediocre and ignoring it (also, I love when people say "Crash was mediocre," then go on to eviscerate it and give it a 1/10. People, that's not "mediocre." Look in a dictionary.).

Lost in Translation's on now! YAAAYYYY!!!

AFI's 100 Years, 100 Movies

yes, this is probably my only opportunity for an "I LOVE YOU!" moment tomorrow night

As anyone reading this (anyone out there?) would probably know, AFI's 100 Years, 100 Movies series is being updated, and the new list will be revealed tomorrow! I am ridiculously excited. No, the AFI really doesn't make the best choices. They favor bland Best Picture winners over true originals and trailblazers (1996: Forrest Gump was #71. Pulp Fiction, 95. Ewww.). Still, if you're not at least interested, you're lying (I've got my eye on you, certain bloggers). I tried to find just a plain list of the movies and their ranking back in 1996; here's the Wikipedia page, which won't copy and paste correctly, grr. Anyway, my search made me realize just how much I hate filmsite.org, which whines about how OMG THERE ARE THREE MODERN CRIME MOVIES ON IT (yeah, at #84, 94, and 95.) AND THERE NEED TO BE MORE SILENT MOVIES OMG OMG OMG. Also, the, for lack of a better term, stupid fuckers said Amadeus could be replaced with "better movies." Yes, "stupid fuckers" are rather harsh terms, but insult Amadeus in front of me and THAT'S WHAT YOU GET. Anyway. Here are the post-1997 movies on the ballot:

American Beauty *
As Good As It Gets
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery -
The Aviator
A Beautiful Mind * (ew?)
Being John Malkovich -
Boogie Nights
Brokeback Mountain
Chicago
Crash
Erin Brockovich
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind -
Fight Club -
Finding Nemo
Gladiator
Good Night, and Good Luck
Good Will Hunting
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban -
Hotel Rwanda
The Hours
The Insider -
L. A. Confidential
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring *
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King *
Lost in Translation
The Matrix -
Memento -
Million Dollar Baby * (this will probably replace Unforgiven)
Moulin Rouge! -
Mystic River
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl -
Ray
Requiem for a Dream -
Rushmore -
Saving Private Ryan *
Shakespeare in Love
Shrek
Sideways
The Sixth Sense
Spider-Man 2 -
There’s Something About Mary -
Three Kings -
Titanic *
Traffic

I put dashes next to the movies that have no chance of making it onto the top 400, because they are just far too weird for AFI. I starred the ones with the very best chances. I'm amazed Three Kings even freaking made it onto the ballot. I would cry of happiness if Lost in Translation or Eternal Sunshine made it onto the list, but I doubt either of them will. Still, my third or so favorite movie on there, American Beauty, will make it onto the list, and quite high, I'm hoping. Saving Private Ryan will be on the list, and quite high, because they are so wet for Spielberg (a note: I love Spielberg. A post in defense of Spielberg is coming soon, because today at work I was reading his Wikipedia article [I work so hard], and the "criticism" section pissed me off so goddamn much. It reminds me of the reason why I refuse to interact with my fellow bloggers. But I'll get into that in another entry. But anyway, the AFI loves him EVEN MORE. Like, if they ever heard someone dissing him, they would KILL THAT PERSON.). Titanic will be the highest debut. At least one of the Lord of the Rings movies will be on there (Return of the King having the highest likelihood), but please God not two/three because I don't want that to clog the list. If Crash is on there I will be thrilled and laugh a lot, especially if it is above Brokeback Mountain (or if the latter isn't even on the list!).

As far as the movies that are on the list...
Things that will probably do better: Goodfellas, Schindler's List (there's no way it's getting ranked below The Graduate now), Pulp Fiction, Annie Hall, The Godfather Part II, Amadeus better go up in the rankings you assholes, Network because it's become more than just a great movie, it's become bizarrely prophetic, anything Eastwood because since 1996, he's gone from being Legendary Actor, Okay Director with One Really Really Good Movie to The Greatest Director Of Our Time (And By That, We Mean Ever). Though if Unforgiven drops off the list totally and Million Dollar Baby is on it fairly high up, I won't be surprised.
Things that will probably fall in the rankings: The Graduate (boohoo), Dances with Wolves, Giant, Tootsie (waaaah), The Sound of Music, The African Queen (this is the same case as The Graduate - ranked incredibly high, but nobody talks about it!)

Coming tomorrow: my ballot based on the 400 movies, for what it would be worth. And of course, bitchy commentary on the new list, and much more complaining about stupid filmsite.org.

* Entry disclaimer: I can't say I really like the Lord of the Rings movies, but I recognize that they are great-to-good movies.

happy birthday paul haggis

...because it's not like anybody else is going to say it.

oh, and to quote dodgeball, "fuckin' chuck norris."

happy birthday...

...to my best friend in the entire world who doesn't even know about the existence of this blog. he is wonderful, not for the least reason that he is a gay man that realized that crash was far better than brokeback mountain.

what, did you think i was going to wish happy birthday to this talentless skank (who couldn't even get in on the IMDb front page even though she's a "big star" now - HA!) or this one (how pissed do you think she is that abigail breslin got the nomination first, or that her sister was in a best picture nominee before her?)? i do want to wish happy birthday to kristin davis. i love her...will someone put her in a movie that doesn't blow?

i'm changing my prediction for best picture one last time. the departed. really.

well then.

I guess I'll do 2005 next, since it is easily the worst of all the years I'll cover in this teeny little series (99-06). A decent year for lead actors and supporting actresses, but sooo empty otherwise.

Best Picture
1. A History of Violence (would be at about #9 or 8 for 2006.)
2. Crash (shut the fuck up, it's a fantastic movie...but no it wouldn't make my top 10 this year)
3. The Constant Gardener
4. The Squid and the Whale
5. Pride and Prejudice
6. Grizzly Man
7. Sin City
8. Munich
9. Wedding Crashers
10. Good Night, and Good Luck.

Best Director
1. David Cronenberg for A History of Violence
2. Michael Haneke for Cache
3. Paul Haggis for Crash (!)
4. Fernando Meirelles for The Constant Gardener
5. Robert Rodriguez, Frank Miller, and Quentin Tarantino for Sin City
6. George Clooney for Good Night, and Good Luck.
7. Werner Herzog for Grizzly Man
8. Stephen Spielberg for Munich
9. Terrence Malick for The New World
10. Ang Lee for Brokeback Mountain (seeeeee)

Best Actor
1. Heath Ledger in Brokeback Mountain
2. Viggo Mortensen in A History of Violence
3. Ralph Fiennes in The Constant Gardener
4. David Strathairn in Good Night, and Good Luck.
5. Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback Mountain (definitely NOT supporting)
6. Philip Seymour Hoffman in Capote
7. Steve Carell in The 40-Year-Old Virgin
8. Jake Gyllenhaal in Jarhead
9. Bill Murray in Broken Flowers
10. Robert Downey Jr. in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Best Actress (soooo weak, I love Reese but she'd be like #10 or thereabouts for '06)
1. Reese Witherspoon in Walk the Line
2. Q'Orianka Kilcher in The New World
3. Gwyneth Paltrow in Proof
4. Embeth Davidtz in Junebug (OWNED her highly overrated Oscar-nominated costar)
5. Claire Danes in Shopgirl
6. Joan Allen in Yes (she was embarassing in The Upside of Anger)
7. Rachel McAdams in Red Eye
8. Nathalie Press in My Summer of Love (and not Emily Blunt!)
9. Keira Knightley in Pride and Prejudice (totally deserved her Oscar nomination)
10. Toni Collette in In Her Shoes

Best Supporting Actor
1. Michael Pena in Crash
2. Mickey Rourke in Sin City
3. Matt Dillon in Crash
4. Clifton Collins Jr. in Capote
5. Jeff Daniels in The Squid and the Whale
6. George Clooney in Good Night, and Good Luck. (should've gotten nominated for this)
7. Clive Owen in Sin City
8. Jesse L. Martin in Rent
9. Matt Damon in Syriana
10. Kevin Costner in The Upside of Anger (way better than Joan Allen)

Best Supporting Actress
1. Maria Bello in A History of Violence
2. Rachel Weisz in The Constant Gardener
3. Michelle Williams in Brokeback Mountain
4. Laura Linney in The Squid and the Whale
5. Rosario Dawson in Rent
6. Ziyi Zhang in 2046
7. Scarlett Johansson in Match Point
8. Gong Li in Memoirs of a Geisha
9. Maggie Gyllenhaal in Happy Endings
10. Isla Fisher in Wedding Crashers
...aaaand Amy Adams didn't really impress me that much.

Best Screenplay
1. A History of Violence
2. The Constant Gardener
3. Crash
4. The Squid and the Whale
5. Good Night, and Good Luck.
6. Match Point
7. Munich
8. Capote
9. Jarhead
10. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

...and that's that. God, what a lame year.

2005

now with 50% less random white streaks:




top films:
1. a history of violence
2. crash
3. the constant gardener
(so sublety didn't do much for me in 05. sue me.)
4. the squid and the whale
5. pride and prejudice
6. grizzly man
7. sin city
8. munich
9. wedding crashers
10. good night, and good luck.
(11. cache
12. jarhead
13. junebug
14. kiss kiss bang bang
15. batman begins
16. wallace and gromit in the curse of the were-rabbit
17. corpse bride
18. in her shoes
19. capote
20. syriana)

terrible year, maybe because i didn't like the OMG IT'S THE BEST FILM EVER HOW CAN YOU DISLIKE IT???!!! you know what i'm talking about. if you don't, well, just look at the pulpy winner for best actor in a drama...

or maybe i'm just bored

something fun to do: watch everyone on blogs try to out-hate Crash. It's actually hysterical. One thing nobody accuses it of being is boring. I can't say the same for Brokeback Mountain...

my favorite overreactions (these are not exact quotes, but they're damn close):
3. "Crash was made by Satan to promote racism." -some blog
2. "Crash is a disgusting venereal-disease-infected piece of genitalia, dripping itself all over cinemas everywhere." -some blog (was this really necessary?)
1. this one needs backstory. On some IMDb board, someone asked for everyone's choice for worst movie ever. Someone said Crash and someone else said something like "Really? Crash as the worst film ever? I don't like it, but..." And the original respondee said:
"I only see movies that look good. I avoid what I know will be disasters. Crash looked good and then it was horrible. So, not only is Crash the worst movie ever made, it is the only bad movie I have ever seen in my life." This is one of my favorite idiotic IMDb quotes, which says a lot, because there are so many.

Coming really soon I promise: my 2006 awards and some retrospective awards.

controversial statement of the day

the oscar nominees for best picture last year, from best to worst:
1. crash (A...yup.)
2. munich (B+)
3. good night, and good luck.
4. capote
5. brokeback mountain (B-)

you heard me. (part deux)