Heh!

A (fake) Spanish diary by Woody Allen.

CROSSOVER!!!

So in Vicky Cristina Barcelona, there's a scene (I think it's even in the preview) where Javier Bardem's character invites Vicky (Rebecca Hall) and Cristina (ScarJo) to his room "to make love to them." And the entire time, of course, I'm like, "NOOOO!!! DON'T GO!!! HE'LL KILL YOU WITH THE AIR PUMP GUN THING!!!!"

... but at least he changed his hair.

Oh, as for the movie? Loved it. Maybe Woody's best since Bullets over Broadway? It's certainly better than all his stuff in the new millennium, as fond as I am of Match Point and Scoop. VCB was hot and steamy, just like Barcelona is in real life. It really captured Spain perfectly, in that it's incredibly interesting and boring as shit all at once (no, really). The cast was fantastic, and I have to disagree that Penelope was head and shoulders above the others; they all rocked (save Patty Clarkson, who was totally boring).

Dammit YouTube.

Why don't you have the scene above. You have the opening scene. You have the scenes with Annie singing. You have the scene with Christopher Walken. You have the scene with the film critic. All of which are great. But, damn, there's just something beyond hysterical about the scene with the subtitles. Oh, and the scene with the cocaine: best obvious joke ever?

I'm intrigued.

Oh, and I love the title. It makes no sense. Vicky and Cristina in Barcelona? Is "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" someone's name? Plus, I love Barcelona. So, yeah, I'm pretty excited.

..."Barcelona" is one of those words that loses meaning the more you look at it.

just to continue with the trend of pictures in lieu of actual entries

I consider this to be one of the greatest pictures ever taken. Woody and ScarJo really need to do something in New York...

Happy birthday Schindler & the Scoop solution

Happy happy birthday Liam Neeson, AKA Oskar Schindler and Alfred Kinsey. Oh, and Aslan. And Daniel. And Qui-Gonn (ew). And Jean Valjean (he was PERFECT). And Michael Collins. The guy plays a lot of God/Jesus figures, doesn't he? For good reason. He's amazing. Yay!

I'm watching Scoop on TV and I discovered why everyone except me hated it. Scarlett Johansson's character, Sondra Pransky, is basically written as a somewhat drunk, somewhat slutty, female Woody Allen. She delivers her lines almost too perfectly - they are really really Woody-esque. It sounds totally bizarre for Woody Allen stuttering to be coming out of Scarlett Johansson's mouth. The movie is good though! Seriously! Watch it again!

Annie Hall is 30 years old.

You should freakin' celebrate!

My only problem with the movie is that I just wish Manhattan was as well-known...which isn't even really a complaint about Annie Hall at all.

The Piano

Disclaimer: I cannot write reviews for shit, especially after weeks of writing essays for school. Ugh. This is more just an amalgamation of my thoughts as opposed to a real review.
I was actually shocked at how much I liked this movie. Shocked. It's certainly not the best film ever like I've heard some people say. Likewise, it's not the best film of the '90s. Hell, it's not even the best film of 1993 (Schindler's List, whether you think it's a masterpiece or manipulative trash, just worked for me, okay?), but it is really freaking excellent. For one thing, I thought it was going to be something different; based on what I've heard about it and the stills I've seen, I thought it was going to be one of those films that's easy to admire but hard to love with, you know, Holly Hunter and Anna Paquin just staring at each other on a beach for two hours. Yawn. But, not at all. This film is alive. It is vibrant (gotta love Australia), and even, at times, pretty darn funny. Holly Hunter is simply... incredible, to put it simply. She never says anything, but her performance is completely absorbing and you always know exactly what she is thinking and feeling. Amazing. One of the most deserved Oscars ever. Anna Paquin's fantastic too, and makes me wonder why she's so mediocre in everything she's been in since this movie. Harvey Keitel gives one of his very best performances (but did we really need to see his dick again?), and I just loved Kerry Walker (she bought a lot of the aforementioned humor). No, the movie's not perfect (there were a few too many shots of Hunter just kinda sitting there playing the piano [which is what I thought the movie would be like, actually, heh], and that scene where Keitel sticks his head under Hunter's dress and the dog starts licking Sam Neill's hand? Aaack), but it is pretty freaking spectacular. A- (A?)

And, of course, happy birthday to the person who may be my favorite director, Woody Allen. :D Recommendations of the day: Scoop (underrated, quite funny and I enjoyed it a lot more than Match Point) and Angels in America (for AIDS day. Then again, if you haven't seen this movie already, don't talk to me!).