That wave.

I know you care intensely.

My winners for the honorary You Can Count on Me Award for the Movie with the Most Unfortunate Title.

2000: Well... You Can Count on Me. This title doesn't belong to a genius character study/family drama. It belongs to a Lifetime drama (though I'll admit, the way they use it in the film is brilliant. If there's one thing I hate, it's movies that make a point of having their characters say the frickin' title, something which bothers me every time I see Walk the Line. Yes, I know it's a song of his, do they really have to have poor Reese have some line that's IIRC "You better walk the line, John!!!" That was a long aside...). I read some blog entry once where the writer was moaning about how Spielberg had named his film Munich (this was obviously old) and how that was so boring and how Spielberg sucks (as I always say when people whine about Spielberg: oh, I'm so sorry that he's got more money and Oscars and respect and talent than you.). The writer then said something like, "what happened to the daring and fantastic film titles, such as You Can Count on Me?" and I was like "oh honey. No." And thus, the inspiration for this, uh, wonderful award was born.
2001: In the Bedroom. This...is a porno. Or crazy/beautiful, which is just awkward.
2002: Igby Goes Down. This...is also a porno. Or Morvern Callar, which makes me think "ooh, my cousin had that once. It hurts to pee for weeks."
2003: Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World: I Think This Title Needs to be Longer
2004: Bad Education. This...is also also a porno.
2005: The Constant Gardener (pulling an upset victory against the perhaps more obvious candidate, The Squid and the Whale). That ain't a title for a political thriller, I'll tell you that.
2006: The Pursuit of Happyness. Yes, I know it's on purpose. But I'm an English minor (which is a scary thought when you look back at my "writing" on this thing). IT BOTHERS ME.
2007: I would say Ratatouille, were it not for that preview that taught you how to pronounce it. Brilliant. Instead, I'll have to go with Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, because it's unfortunate to have to share a title with the worst book in history. Oh wait.

La Linney.

Debatably, my favorite actress.

1. You Can Count on Me
2. P.S.
3. The Squid and the Whale
4. The Truman Show
5. Kinsey
6. The Life of David Gale
7. The House of Mirth
8. Love Actually
9. Mystic River
10. Primal Fear (the only one of her performances that's not great)

I CANNOT WAIT for The Savages. I love Laura!!

2000

2000. Another bad year cuz I might as well get 'em done with.

Best Picture
1. Requiem for a Dream
2. You Can Count on Me
3. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
4. Traffic
5. Best in Show
6. The House of Mirth
7. Wonder Boys
8. Gladiator
9. George Washington
10. Amores Perros (Iñárritu's best, and it's not even close)

Best Director
1. Ang Lee for Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
2. Darren Aronofsky for Requiem for a Dream
3. Steven Soderbergh for Traffic and Erin Brockovich
4. Ridley Scott for Gladiator
5. Lars von Trier for Dancer in the Dark
6. Kenneth Lonergan for You Can Count on Me
7. Mary Harron for American Psycho
8. Alejandro Gonzales Iñárritu for Amores Perros
9. David Gordon Green for George Washington
10. Sofia Coppola for The Virgin Suicides

Best Actor
1. Christian Bale in American Psycho
2. Billy Crudup in Jesus' Son
3. Clive Owen in Croupier (Cliiiiive. <3)
4. Russell Crowe in Gladiator (I'll defend him to the death)
5. Tom Hanks in Cast Away (him too)
6. Javier Bardem in Before Night Falls
7. Michael Douglas in Wonder Boys
8. Ed Harris in Pollock
9. Jamie Bell in Billy Elliot
10. Geoffrey Rush in Quills

Best Actress (quality-wise excellent, quantity-wise pretty shitty...I can't think of anyone other than these 9 that I'd really want to nominate)
1. Ellen Burstyn in Requiem for a Dream
2. Laura Linney in You Can Count on Me
3. Renee Zellweger in Nurse Betty
4. Gillian Anderson in The House of Mirth
5. Cate Blanchett in The Gift
6. Julia Roberts in Erin Brockovich (no, she didn't deserve the Oscar but it's hardly embarassing to say the least)
7. Michelle Pfeiffer in What Lies Beneath
8. Michelle Rodriguez in Girlfight
9. Michelle Yeoh in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (Michelle...?)

Best Supporting Actor
1. Mark Ruffalo in You Can Count on Me (not supporting. Ignore this.)
2. Benicio del Toro in Traffic
3. Willem Dafoe in Shadow of the Vampire
4. Jeffrey Wright in Shaft (!!!)
5. Joaquin Phoenix in Gladiator
6. Albert Finney in Erin Brockovich
7. Morgan Freeman in Nurse Betty
8. Ian Holm in Joe Gould's Secret
9. Michael Douglas in Traffic
10. Tobey Maguire in Wonder Boys

Best Supporting Actress
1. Jennifer Connelly in Requiem for a Dream (years later, still standing as the best performance of the new millennium...and I don't even like Jennifer Connelly)
2. Marcia Gay Harden in Pollock
3. Samantha Morton in Jesus' Son
4. Kate Winslet in Quills
5. Ziyi Zhang in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
6. Parker Posey in Best in Show
7. Catherine Deneuve in Dancer in the Dark
8. Laura Linney in The House of Mirth
9. Kirsten Dunst in The Virgin Suicides
10. Frances McDormand in Almost Famous

Best Screenplay
1. You Can Count on Me
2. American Psycho
3. The House of Mirth
4. Requiem for a Dream
5. Nurse Betty
6. Traffic
7. Amores Perros
8. Billy Elliot
9. O Brother, Where Art Thou?
10. George Washington

Please note, all: Almost Famous blows, except the acting...and even there, Patrick Fugit was sooo dull and Kate Hudson wildly overpraised. Still, everyone else pretty much rocked. Maybe I'm just mad because of how they used "Tiny Dancer" (yes, I love Elton John, now let's move the fuck on)... oh. and if you asked me to see any of these movies again or Chocolat, I'd probably say Chocolat. Yeah, it's only deserving of a C+ movie-wise, but it's warm and adorable...and keep in mind, this is from someone who hates Johnny Depp (GASP!) and who just kind of half-shrugs when she hears Juliette Binoche's name (GASP!).