PERFECTION

The F2 isn't perfection, though, because there's no Clare. FUCK YOU, JUDGES!

CassicomingbackandstealingtheprizefromTahneeorCassisundeservinghandsFTW!

I'm just saying...

whatever happened to this? Because it was more or less gonna be the best thing ever.

so I thought

this Hung show on HBO would be like, a funny satire of sexual politics or something.

It is NOT. It is SO FRIGGIN' DARK. It's kinda like, "First my wife divorced me. Then I had horrible medical issues. Then my house burned down. Then I lost custody and visiting rights to my kids. And I had to live in a tent. And then I had a terrible one-night stand who I got angry at because she loved my cock so much. I hate America. Cunt cunt fuck you cunt."

And come on, where's the full-frontal nudity? HBO, I am SO disappointed.

Home!

With the boyf. And my parents are away until next Sunday, so... um... yeah. Posting still won't be too frequent. You know, hopefully. ;)

I heard "Black or White" like 80 times on the radio on the ride back home, and I swear, I cried every time. :( :( :( :( :( :(

Jennifer Hudson...

I like you a lot and all - I even liked that brown dress with the cute little metallic jacket thingy that you wore to the Oscars where you won and everyone hated it!!! - and I was so thrilled when you won that Oscar, but OH LORD, YOU ARE BAD IN THE Sex and the City MOVIE.

you know,

the "Auld Lang Syne" part from the Sex and the City movie makes me BAWL LIKE A BABY every damn time. Oh, screw it; I LIKE this movie. So there!

(I don't get when Anthony and Stanford kiss, though. Whuh?)

ETA: ALSO WHEN MIRANDA AND STEVE REUNITE!!!! ;_;

Um.

10 movies nominated for Best Picture? Of course, they do this the year after Wall-E and The Dark Knight possibly could have gotten in.

... of course, the last time there were 10 movies nominated for BP, Casablanca won. So, if we get a film that's as good as that to win, I'll be mighty pleased.

Amurikah.

So I'm watching America's Got Talent with the boyf for laughs, and oh... oh DEAR. So far I've seen a guy stick a fishhook into his nostrils, then RUN AN ELECTRIC DRILL THE ENTIRE WAY THROUGH INTO THEM HOLY FUCKING SHIT - and he got through to the next round!!!!

Now there are some girls named the "Aryan" sisters (probably not spelled that way, but pronounced that way, and it gives me the giggles) and... they're black. And singing Jackson 5 songs. AWESOME.

GOD.

So can anyone write an article on Anne Hathaway that isn't the equivalent of sucking her dick? Meryl Streep, sure, she deserves it, I don't mind if anyone waxes rhapsodic. I was reading an article in uh, I think it was New York Magazine about Anne in Shakespeare in the Park (ughhh!!! Way to corrupt my Raul and Audra by putting Anne in the same production!!!), and there was some sentence that was LITERALLY like, "If she wasn't so talented and so beautiful, she'd be stuck as a counselor in Stagedoor Manor."

Errr, writer. She's (probably) not going to sleep with you just because you wrote that (though maybe she slept with you beforehand, to get you to write that. I wouldn't put it past her.). And she's neither talented nor beautiful; I know some Stagedoor Manor counselors, and they're all more talented than Anne.

See, the thing is, I wouldn't mind the occasional "OH MY GOD SHE IS THE BEST EVER" article, if they weren't all like this, including Shirley MacLaine's embarrassing bosom-heaving intro to her at the Oscars. Was Anne strong in Rachel Getting Married? Kinda. Is she the best actress of her age, and really worthy of the amount of praise she gets? Not even fucking close.

OMFG AMAZING

...really, though, what the hell is this video about? Is it about like, a teacher lusting after her students or something? Except all ~symbolic.~

Moulin Rouge!

So lord knows I looooove this movie.

But until "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend," I feel like you have to be severely high to appreciate it.

are we human / or are we dancers?

my sign is vital / my hands are cold.

(lyrics changed for grammar-sanity!)

Anyway, I'm at the boyf's for a week or so, but I'll probably still be on here a bit.

MMaS S2: final thoughts.

Using this and this post, which I made right after the first full episode.

Amanda
Original thoughts: "She is adorable but I don't remember much of anything she did. I can't believe she just had a baby! Models are insane." & "She's gorgeous, but like Gabriel I think she'll get complacent and will get kicked off for OMG resting on pretty. Tyra would be so ashamed."

Was I right?/general thoughts: Kinda. She's adorable and really pretty, but I wouldn't go so far as to say gorgeous, and I think she got more and more busted as the show went on. Still, other than the rare "I walk around NAKED so my kid won't be GAY" comment, she seemed like a really sweet girl who was very easy to root for, and who was extremely grateful to be on the show, possibly more than anyone else. When it came to Jordan vs. Amanda, I was soooo Team Amanda.

Original prediction: 7th

Actual place on show: 7th


Branden
Original thoughts: "He's being edited as a homophobic tool in a Bravo reality show. Yeah, he ain't lasting long." & "Eh, he seems like a tool. When he was going on about how he was "exspecially not gay" I just wanted him to shut up. That said, he did kind of bring it to the shoot and he seemed to get over his icked-out-ness quite a bit. That said, because he's a homophobe and it's a Bravo show, he won't be here for very long."

Was I right?/general thoughts: ROFL WHOOPS. I don't think Branden was genuinely homophobic as much as he just hadn't been exposed to gay people at all, and his edit indicated that, in my opinion. He really developed as a person on the show. I don't think he deserved the win, because Jonathan and Sandhurst performed more or less flawlessly and he still couldn't walk all that well, but he'll have a nice career that MMaS can take credit for. But I hope Sandhurst shows him up TBH.

Original prediction: 13th

Actual place on show: Winner


Chris
Original thoughts: "Definitely my least favorite guy. I thought he could use his androgyny to be interesting but no, he just looks like a chick and kind of sucks as a model. Oh, and I can't get over how much he looks like Scarlett Johansson with tiny lips!" & "My guess is he brings nothing new next week, when the judges had high expectations for him because he's so interesting-looking, and he gets kicked off."

Was I right?/general thoughts: I think Ken moved to become my least favorite guy, but Chris just kinda sucked. His look was rather frightening, his walk was awful, and his photos all kinda sucked too. He's a sweet guy, though.

Original prediction: 15th

Actual place in show: 15th


CJ
Original thoughts: "she's doomed by The Curse of Being 5'8"." & "She's cute. She looks like Keira Knightley in this picture, but not in real life. Like everyone else, I felt terrible for her when Salome was like "I'm going to take you with me on the go-see because I can beat you!!!!" Oh, and I love that she is ~vilified~ for being 5'8". This is why I can't oppose Tyra's idea for a short cycle in C13 of ANTM. It's like, no supermodels are going to come out of either series, why not not be so damn serious?"

Was I right?/general thoughts: In a word, no. I really liked CJ after the first episode, because she had such a great attitude after Salome was like "ZOMG YOU'RE SHORT WITH BOOBS, I WILL BEAT YOU!!!" But after that she devolved into this horrific bitch, and according to everyone else in the house, what we saw of her was actually the nicest possible edit they could have given her. A lot of her raging against other people in the house was supposedly cut out. Her super obnoxious final blog (and actually, all the other blogs she wrote) proves this point, IMO. She could have been 5'11" and it wouldn't have saved her. Her eventual boot had nothing to do with her height. That said, she photographs beautifully. If she gets her shit together, she could actually be a print model.

Original prediction: 9th

Actual place in show: 12th


Colin
Original thoughts: "I think he'll be around until nearly the end, because Tyson will like, personally mentor him and he will massively improve, but will get kicked off right before the finale in a heartbreaker because, I dunno, he's not "experienced" enough." & "Oh, man. My fave, if Sandhurst isn't. He is like... beautiful. And his personality seems really great too, like I loved loved loved his face when Tyson said he wanted to keep him because he had potential. It's like, I dunno, it seems like he's always been pretty dorky or something, and only now he's starting to realize how good-looking he is, and he can't quite believe it and he's always going to be, like, cute and modest. I do think he has a lot of work to do, but I also think he has tons of potential. And he's scaldingly hot. According to his Bravo bio, he goes to Carleton College. GAHHHH guess where I applied and got in but didn't go! Oh well, I'm plenty happy going where I went. ;) He seems cute on his Twitter too. OKAY I'LL STOP BEING A STALKER NOW."

Was I right?/general thoughts: I LUUUURVE HIM. I really thought he did improve, to the point where he was actually good, albeit with his one screw-up week the week of the '60s shoot and the improv runway. And you can't deny that he's a model with that body and face (okay, he could be an inch shorter or so). His inexperience really hurt him, though, and his general awkward demeanor.

Original prediction: 5th

Actual place in show: 8th


Gabriel
Original thoughts: "This is a terrible photo, but he's such a fucking hottie on camera and in photos, I can't get over it. Ugh, he's like... too good-looking." & "He is SO HOT but something tells me at the midway point he'll get too cocky (he already seems a bit cocky) and will get kicked off for not standing out enough. God, I'll miss his hot ass/abs/lips/face/everything, though. Drool. Gabriel. DO WANT."

Was I right?/general thoughts: He's obscenely hot, but he kinda sucks. Or rather, he did on the show. I do think he took some really strong photos, honestly, like his Plexiglas lingerie shot and his underwater photo, but when his photos were bad, they were bad. His walk, after Week 1 where it was strong, was almost laughably bad; he'd lumber down the runway awkwardly, screwing up that GORGEOUS face into horrifying contortions. Still, I want to see more from him, both in terms of his potential and in a "I WANT TO SEE HIM NAKED OKAY???" way.

Original prediction: 8th

Actual place in show: 11th


Jonathan
Original thoughts: "He'll be kind of a minor villain (like Stefan on Top Chef where he's more entertaining than villainous, but his edit makes us think we're supposed to hate him or something), so I think he'll stick around a while. He also seems to photograph well and have a good walk." & "He seems cocky and I hate his hair, but seriously give him a buzz cut and he looks like David Beckham. YUM."

Was I right?/general thoughts: Well he definitely wasn't a villain, unless you're from TWoP and he made that (disgusting TBH) comment about Salome having cellulite, OMG HOW DARE HE ATTACK PRECIOUS SALOME SO VICIOUSLY?!?!! IT'S PRACTICALLY LIKE HE MURDERED HER WHAAARBLGARRRRBLEEEE!!! Sorry, the TWoP posters are collectively unhinged. Anyway. He photographed extremely well and had a great walk, and the haircut was such an improvement.

Original prediction: 6th

Actual place in show: 3rd


Jordan
Original thoughts: "My guess is she's the bitch of the season and thus she'll get far but won't win. They won't want a white girl with dark hair and sharp features to win again." & "Another girl in an unflattering garment. She's okay. I know she won the week and she was rocking it at the photoshoot while CJ was terrified, but the final photo they chose of her blows. I'm not sold yet."

Was I right?/general thoughts: More or less. Most would argue CJ was the bitch of the season, but I don't think she was around for long enough, and I think Jordan took up that mantle. Her attitude was really repulsive a good amount of the time. I don't understand why she hated Amanda AT ALL. Sure, Amanda was semi-annoying, but she was also sweet, harmless, and not all that much of a threat. Jordan totally deserved to leave when she did, both because she performed poorly that week and because she thought that, because she won the first week, she didn't have to do anything else to beat anyone. Oh, and too many times, she did really well on set, and then her photo would be terrible, and the judges would praise her up the ass for it. They were insanely biased toward her, up until the final seven (and even then, Catherine saying she had the best walk that week? Gimme a fuckin' break, lady.).

Original prediction: 3rd

Actual place in show: 6th


Karen
Original thoughts: "Who? Her face scares me. The judges always seem out to get the people who the public votes into the competition; this was the case last season, they already got rid of Ken, and with no more public voting system (THANK GOD), I don't think Karen will stick around very long..."

Was I right?/general thoughts: Kinda. I didn't think she did badly the week she was kicked out, minus the crazy eyes on the runway. Oh, and now I think she's actually really pretty and interesting-looking. I liked Karen! I would have liked her to stick around longer, actually. Certainly longer than the other black girl, Laury. And the judges really DO seem to have it out for the people voted into the competition by the public...

Original prediction: 12th

Actual place in show: 14th

Ken
Original thoughts: "Yeah, he was kind of a waste of space, but he seemed like a really nice guy and took his elimination extremely well; I thought he would be a douchebag from this photo. And yeah, I was riiiight there with that judge that said he had one heck of an ass. Ahem."

Was I right?/general thoughts: I overpraised him in that quote. I think he took his elimination so well because he didn't want to be there. He's possibly the least modelesque contestant on a modeling show ever, to be honest. I think they may have sent the invitation to the wrong person. He does have a nice ass though.

Original prediction: well, 16th, but I had already watched the episode

Actual place in show: 16th


Kerryn
Original thoughts: "She seems like total filler." & "Cute, but she didn't get very much screentime and seems a bit like filler. That's also not a flattering dress, like, at all."

Was I right?/general thoughts: Not really. She wasn't filler. She was GORGEOUS with amazing hair and skin (especially considering she was a heavy smoker), didn't look 24/25 at all, took pretty strong photos, and, when she was at her best, she stomped the hell out of everyone else on the runway except maybe Sandhurst. I think, looking back at the season, she really was my favorite girl. Her elimination was unfair, but she kinda blew it that week... the bullshit "you've been fading for weeks now" excuse bothered me BEYOND bothering, though.

Original prediction: 11th

Actual place in show: 10th (jointly eliminated with Laury)


Laury
Original thoughts: "Ugh, she SUCKS. She's got an okay walk but there's no way this girl looks like a model. She's incredibly harsh. Easily my least favorite girl. Ew." & "Who? She doesn't seem to get a lot of screentime and I don't think she'll be on this show very long."

Was I right?/general thoughts: Yeah. Actually, she had a pretty strong walk and a great body, but oh my gosh, she was just SO ugly. That's not a model face at all. And she looked at least 40 at all times.

Original prediction: 14th

Actual place in show: 10th (jointly eliminated with Kerryn)


Mountaha
Original thoughts: "I don't knoooow. I think she might be the winner if Sandhurst isn't, but I definitely don't feel it. In person, she's really super cute and interesting-looking and I think her being Brazilian definitely adds an interesting layer. She photographs horribly, though. Her face is soooo busted-looking. She does seem to look really great in clothes, so maybe she'll make a great runway model." & "I dunno, something about her says she gets far because they think she's "interesting" (AKA in all her photographs, her face looks completely bizarre) and she does indeed have a great walk. They give her a platinum blonde makeover and it admittently looks hot."

Was I right?/general thoughts: She started out the season with her face photographing horribly, but she really worked on it, and a lot of her later photos were quite awesome. Her makeover was amazing, and her walk was generally so strong. I don't think she looked very cute in person, though. Dunno what I was talking about there.

Original prediction: 2nd

Actual place in show: 4th


Salome
Original thoughts: "One of my favorite girls, I think. She's beautiful and she rocked the photoshoot and did quite well on the runway. I feel like she seriously needs to develop her social skills though, due to the incident with CJ. Her naivete might be her downfall if she has one."

Was I right?/general thoughts: Yeah, she's gorgeous, and her photos were, for the most part, absolutely beautiful. I think her body was flawless, honestly. Runway ain't the only kind of modeling... makeup and perfume campaigns, like those Salome is perfect for, are where the money is. She had a lot of issues with walking, though. I kind of loved her bluntness and I definitely loved her determined personality, though apparently she was a lot more difficult to deal with than we saw.

Original prediction: 4th

Actual place in show: 5th


Sandhurst
Original thoughts: "Ugh, love him. He rocks at everything and he's gorgeous in a really, really interesting way. My only issue with him is that at this point, it already seems like he's the winner. And I like a little more suspense than that. :P" & "At this point, his win seems kind of obvious. He's gorgeous, photographs well, has a great walk, and is all kinds of interesting. And I think the judges want a dude to win this year."

Was I right?/general thoughts: Well, he didn't win, but I sure WISH he had, mutter mutter. He had a couple of clunky photographs in his on-show portfolio, but so did everyone, and that was really his only flaw. He's gorgeous, his walk is SICK, his photos at their best were AMAZING, his personality is amazing, and his charisma knocks you over like a bowling ball, even through the screen. I can't begrudge Branden but come on, guys, Sandhurst was robbed.

Original prediction: Winner

Actual place in show: 2nd


Shawn
Original thoughts: "Shawn is 30 and though you can be older when you start modeling if you're a male model, you can't be 30." & "Anyway, I didn't expect his cute squeaky voice to come out of that SERIOUSFACE, but he seems like a total sweetie."

Was I right?/general thoughts: Heh, I didn't really say anything about his modeling ability or potential or something. He had a great face, he seemed like a nice guy, and he was super determined, but that determined nature kind of lent itself to craziness. His stare was scary! He wasn't really any big loss.

Original prediction: 10th

Actual place in show: 13th



My Elimination Order
16. Ken
With such a bad look, he'd have to be the best performance of the week or thereabouts to stay. He wasn't, so... bye Ken.

15. Laury
She's got a great body and a strong walk. But with that face, she'll honestly never be a model. Like Ken, she'd have to have one of the best performances of the week to stay, and she never did, so...

14. Chris
Interesting look, but he just sucked so much.

13. Shawn
He had a great face, but he was simply too old.

12. Karen
I said I wanted Karen to get farther, but I don't think she was amazing or anything. Most of the girls were really strong in at least one department and she was just kind of okay.

11. CJ
She had a really bad attitude and was too short, few would deny that, but she took really stunning photos. For that, she's worth keeping for at least a little while.

10. Gabriel
He sucks, but he's just so pretty, and most of his photos weren't bad.

9. Jordan
Her portfolio is kind of lackluster, and she messed up on the runway just as often as she did great. I don't think she brings anything special to the show.

8. Amanda
Okay, she's only here and not #9 because this is my elimination order and I would be tickled pink to see Amanda outlast Jordan. Other than that, she'd be #9. She's basically just kinda okay in everything, not great or terrible. She did take some very good photos, too.

7. Mountaha
Great body, awesome walk. But that face! I just don't think she was as strong as the remaining contestants.

6. Branden
He was in the top three this cycle in terms of potential, wow. But he was still a dumb, over-sensitive kid, and his walk was very shaky, as was his consistency.

5. Colin
I love him to death, but come on, even I couldn't let him get past this point. I really do think he had a strong walk by the time he left, and quite a few of his photos were really good too. Plus, he had the most potential, but he just couldn't measure up to the three remaining. He is the winner in my HEART, though.

4. Salome
She's GORGEOUS, and she can model her ass off, but she can't really walk all that well.

3. Kerryn
She was the second-best walker of the season, she was stunning in person (well on TV she was), and she took great photos, but she just didn't measure up to the two guys in second and first...

2. Jonathan
He's gorgeous, takes amazing photos, and walks quite well, though he needs to improve on the whole melons under the armpits thing. He's not high fashion, but underwear modeling is where the money is, and hey, Tyson ain't high fashion either. He only wins because the person in first is even better...

1. Sandhurst
Um... let's think. Minus the thunderthighs and that mirror photo, he's basically flawless. Amazing look, great portfolio, amazing walk. And that's it.

Hello lovely badass.

Lookit these punim!

Who's cuter, the kid or the dad?

GOD, I'm also relieved to see Jon's no longer some weird shade of orange. YAY.

OMG luuuurrrrve.

Bliss!

Let me see if I can recognize the episodes:
Diversity Day, Job Fair, Company Picnic, ugh is this the Pilot?, Cafe Disco, Fun Run
Fun Run, Money, The Client, Christmas Party, Stress Relief, The Surplus
The Dundies, The Merger, Michael's Birthday, Weight Loss, Halloween, Initiation
Office Olympics, Drug Testing, Chair Model, Casino Night, Frame Toby, Goodbye Toby
The Job, E-Mail Surveillance, Booze Cruise, Casino Night, this is The Client right?, Booze Cruise

That was... both impressive and sad!

AusNTM: this week & updated callouts

Celebrity icons:

1. Clare
We've been over this. OMG, stunning! None of the others are half as good as this one.

2. Tahnee
She really looks like Elizabeth Taylor, even with the buckteeth, but what's with the wonk eyes? Also, her body looks kinda... off. But it's the second best, as pathetic as that is!

3. Cassi
Again, the buckteeth are an issue (would Victoria Beckham ever expose giant buck teeth???!!!), but the bigger issue is the fact that this is way more Kate from Jon & Kate Plus Eight than Victoria Beckham. But it's a pretty good photo, saving her from the bottom two.

4. Franky
Eh... it's unintentionally comedic and she looks really dumb, but it's not all that bad.

5. Adele
Her body looks distorted and chunky and that face, as usual, is the face of a fugbeast. WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ADELE?!


Call-out averages, eliminated girls in italics:
Clare 3/2/3/3/1/3/3/1 (2.38) (DAMN)
Cassi 1/5/6/7/3/4/2/3 (3.88)
Madison 5/3/5/1/6 (4)
Tahnee 6/11/1/10/2/2/4/2 (4.75)
Lola 2/10/11/5/7/1/1 (5.29)
Georgie 4/4/8 (5.33)
Eloise 7/8/2/8 (6.25)
Franky 9/6/7/9/4/7/6/4 (6.5)
Mikarla 13/7/4/2 (6.5)
Adele 8/12/9/4/5/5/5/5 (6.63)
Laura M. 11/1/10/6/8/6 (7)
Leah 10/9 (9.5)
Laura T. 12 (12)

So, uh, yeah. CLARE OWNS YOU.

CLARE FTW

~S~T~U~N~N~I~N~G~
I really liked Salome and all, but compare her Twiggy photo to Clare's and there's no comparison. Holy crap. I know spoilers say Clare's third, but... OMG LOVE!

OOOOH!

Next Sunday & Monday on Oxygen. CYCLE 6!!!! YES!

ALL those girls are SERIOUS love, except fuggo Brooke and Kari sort of. And Jade. But Jade is... Jade (the ace of spades).

ANTM Cycle 9.

Eh. This cycle is also busted.

Mila was a chunk-a-dunk
Kimberly shouldn't have gone when she did
Victoria is the single most robbed person in ANTM history
Janet... who?
Ebony is one of the most beautiful and modelesque girls the show's ever had but didn't want it... dammit.
Sarah... who?
Ambreal didn't deserve to get as far as she did and her photos were DULLSVILLE
Lisa is love.
Heather is one of the most overrated girls in ANTM history if not #1. I like... hmmm... ONE of her photos. And she couldn't walk or present herself well. Pre-overseas, she was more coddled and favored than Saleisha. What a joke.
Bianca is an even bigger joke than Heather. She's hideous and took hideous photos. The fact that she made F4 is more of an offense to me than Saleisha winning.
Jenah is love, but a fucking mess in person, and she peaked before overseas.
Chantal is love.
Saleisha... don't get me started. I don't hate the girl like most do, though.

EEK.

Don't ever Google Image Search Toby Young (you know, the Top Chef douchebag) unless you wanna find a photo like... this one (NSFW, or really life). Shopped? Uhhh, who cares, still revolting!

Damn damn damn damn DAMN.

Stay updated.

Oh man, you know who I have SUCH a crush on?

Mark Tishhhhhhhsomething from the Yankees. SO. CUTE. (Yes, I'm well aware it's Teixeira.) He's just like... my perfect man. I love that he's got this chubby little face and body. And yeah. Ugh, if only there was a good picture of him (AKA one that shows his face and he's not in sunglasses and a hat and facing away from the camera grrr!!!!!) that I could find on Google Images that wasn't too huge to post on this blog (that's what she said?) without murdering the margins.

But yeah, call me, Mark. Except, uh, you're married, and I wouldn't like to be all over the tabloids a la whoever A-Rod and Jeter are bonking. So don't. But you're cute!

And more good signing news!

Analeigh!

I'll never understand why a girl as sweet as Analeigh can get such hatred from morons like... oh, I'm not gonna name names here, but let's just say they're all illiterate. Yeah, she doesn't have a model's face, but she has one of the best portfolios in ANTM history and she was one of the best walkers too. In conclusion,



And Analeigh's still signed. Oooh hurts so good.

YESSSS!

YAY! AND YAY AGAIN!

I mean, let's face it. We all saw this coming, and maaaaybe he would have been better in a different agency. But that doesn't mean I'm not thrilled for him!!! :D

ANTM Cycle 11 revisited, again, or something

SERIOUSLY WHAT IS WITH MCKEY'S BRITISH ACCENT????

Also, this final runway is retarded, and not even delightfully retarded like "ghost brides" was. The running up the hill thing just seems incredibly dangerous, not fashionable or whatever.

The Fashion Show...

So, are you gonna get better any time soon? No? Oh well I'll keep watching because there's fuckall else on.

LORD JESUS, WHAT WILL THAT ONE GUY HAVE TO DO TO GET KICKED OFF, THOUGH? I can't even remember his name. The one who does terrible outfits every week and then is openly like, to the judges, "I don't wanna be here, I don't want anyone to like my outfits, blargh," and they KEEP SENDING OTHER PEOPLE HOME OVER HIM WHAT.

Daniella is more or less the definition of... a rather strong word used against women that I don't like to use. Also, she and Haven think they are in goddamn real world Mean Girls every week and I am so sick of it.

I do LOVE Reco though.

Top Chef Masters "review"

Well... that was dull. I understand they're all professional chefs, but isn't Hubert Keller like... considered one of the best chefs on Earth? Eric Ripert-level or whatnot? The others are good chefs, but not at his level. So it's pretty much a given he's gonna win. Also, that dessert he made was ADOOOOORABLE!

So, it was pretty dull. The criticism was a snoozer, and effectively consisted of, "We loved everything! Yay! You minorly overseasoned this dish! That's okay though! Because you were in a dorm room! That was amazing! Whoah!" So I was like, "This is gonna be boring. And I'm not sure if I'll stick around thoughiprobablywillbecausewhatthehellelseistheretowatchduringthesummerseriouslyyyy?!?!?!"

But then.

They had the preview for the season.

MOTHERFUCKING NEIL PATRICK HARRIS IN THE HOUSE AS A JUDGE ONE EPISODE Y'ALL!!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah. I'm stickin' around.

Bravo!

You are silly. You have a countdown to Top Chef Masters in the corner of your screen in MINUTES AND SECONDS. Lulz. What are you, ME?!

At least I get to see Hosea win again. :) Hoseaaaaaaa. <3

Shut up, Carla.

Top Chef marathon!!!

I STILL WANT TO PUNCH ARIANE IN THE FAAAAACE. And keep in mind, now, I even know she doesn't win. I don't care. Worst Top Chef contestant evarrrrr.

Hey, the F3 in the taste test quickfire was the F3! And oddly, it was not unlike that challenge... Carla screwed up and took herself out of the running early, and Hosea and Stefan were close but Hosea triumphed in the end. :D

YES!!!!!

I saw... uh... (hides face) Underworld: Rise of the Lycans. MY FRIEND HAD FREE TICKETS OKAYYYYYYY

Oh, and godDAMN, there's a fucking Saw 6 coming out this year?! Give it a rest! It can't be good to have a team of screenwriters whose sole task it is to come up with horrific torture.

you know...

I'm pretty sure I haven't seen a single film from 2009 yet. I am actually going to check some website, and I'll be back with an update if I have in fact seen anything...

Wow. AKA Colbert <3 x2.

I know I wrote about Colbert shaving his head, but I think I just skimmed the article or something, and I know I turned off the episode before the interview, because... wow... I missed this...

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Obama Orders Stephen's Haircut - Ray Odierno
colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Stephen Colbert in Iraq

Most awesome president in history.

OH THANK GOD, WE CAN ALL SLEEP EASY NOW

Adam Lambert came out.

AusNTM shoot: Jumping.

Yeah, so, this week, the girls jumped on a trampoline for forty effin' minutes in designer duds (and the judges complained when girls were out of breath). The photos will apparently be auctioned off to support the fight against breast cancer, which is lovely. But OMG the photographer, she just kept screaming "POINT YOUR TOES, POINT YOUR TOES!!!!" and it was soooooo annoying. Apparently she was also on Australia's version of Make Me a Supermodel and was doing the same damn thing. Shut up, woman. She also screamed "YOU'RE OUT OF CONTROL!!!!" a few times, like poor Adele was drinking a forty on the trampoline.

Here's my call-out order! Please note that I've changed my mind on my call-out order like six times already...

1. Lola
Ugh... it figures Lola gets eliminated as she's getting... I'm not even gonna say "better," I'll say "downright good." Even AusNTM is ridiculous LOL. She's such a non-graceful girl, but here, she looks like some kind of ethereal ballerina. Her face really can look exquisitely beautiful sometimes, even with that jaw. My only fault is that her thighs looked big, but everyone with exposed thighs in this challenge... they were lookin' chunky.

2. Cassi
The arms on this one are all messed up. But other than that, it's just great.

3. Clare
GORGEOUS. It's like some ethereal angel... but those eyes, eek! Seriously, it's only because of the eyes that it's down this low. Otherwise, this photo is like a religious experience.

4. Tahnee
I love the energy in this one. Again, the thighs look thick, but so did everyone who had exposed thighs. The bigger problem is the fact that the thighs disappeared and her face doesn't look as beautiful as she actually is.

5. Adele
Adele was so my favorite pre-show... but now, is this bitch ever gonna impress me? She just looks snarly and possessed, and her pose is boring. Pose... boring... on a trampoline. And her face just doesn't photograph well.

6. Franky
In a way, it was kinda sabotage. She's the only one that didn't get a beautiful, voluminous dress that would look great with... uh... "wind in the dress" or whatever you want to call it. But she didn't go home, so... not that much sabotage. Her pose is lame and she's really made that face quite a few times this season, and it's just not flattering. I've been hearing "FRANKY NEEDS TO GO HOME, ARGLBLARGL" since day 1 of this show... when she wasn't actually all that bad. But now? Yeah, FRANKY NEEDS TO GO HOME.

Average call-outs for the remaining girls:

Adele 8/12/9/4/5/5/5 = 6.86
Cassi 1/5/6/7/3/4/2 = 4
Clare 3/2/3/3/1/3/3 = 2.57
Franky 9/6/7/9/4/7/6 = 6.86
Tahnee 6/11/1/10/2/2/4 = 5.14

And the girls that are gone...
Laura T. 12 = 12
Leah 10/9 = 9.5
Georgie 4/4/8 = 5.33
Eloise 7/8/2/8 = 6.25
Mikarla 13/7/4/2 = 6.5
Madison 5/3/5/1/6 = 4
Laura M. 11/1/10/6/8/6 = 7
Lola 2/10/11/5/7/1/1 = 5.29

As you can see, Clare is the only consistent one of these bitches. Clare FTW. Unfortunately, there are all kinds of spoilers goin' round that say she gets third, after being called first the next two episodes, and winning the challenge and taking an amazing photo - that the judges raaaave about - the week she's kicked out. YOU MOTHERFUCKERS DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACT!

Based on multiple spoilers, the F2 is Cassi and Tahnee (the finale is live, so the winner hasn't been decided yet). I don't know who I want to win out of those two. Cassi's been acting like goddamn Tahlia the entire time and she can't do anything but take a good picture - and even there, she's a little shaky - and Tahnee, while unbelievably gorgeous, just doesn't have a model body. I'm surprised they didn't get on her for being plus-size at that interview where Lola was accused of being plus-size. I'm also surprised that the judges haven't gotten on her about her body size. Wow, that's making me sound like I hate these two, when I love them both. Let's face it, they've taken some amazing photos, they're both totally gorgeous - Tahnee is just unbelievably beautiful, and Cassi has an Audrey Hepburn thing going on that shines through her low-class personality - and they'll be better winners than... uh... any winner of ANTM save maybe Danielle TBH.

Colbert. <3

Military haircut...

I love a man in uniform, what can I say?

Juno.

You're like the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know.
I try really hard, actually...

OHHHH.

I'm watching the marathon of ANTM Cycle 8 right now, and like... I juuuuust realized that Natasha was more than likely a mail-order bride. Duhhhh.

Def the best part of the Tonys

Religulous

Wow, that SUCKED. If I wanted to be lectured at by Bill Maher for a few hours, I would have asked him to do so.

I'm not even religious, but it was just disgusting.

Cassi & Clare.

Yes I know I have to label every AusNTM entry with the ANTM title and that's an insult to AusNTM. (cries)

PUPPY!!!!

One minute, thirty-seven seconds.

So last night nothing was on TV and I was like, "Let me see how long I can watch Hannity's inanity for without ABSOLUTELY having to turn it off because I am so disgusted."

The title of this entry is your answer.

The Fashion Show

~Secretly~, I am enjoying this. Kind of a lot. I really just love fashion design and stuff like that.

Win this shit, Reco. <3

WTF MIB 2

So I'm watching Men in Black II on TV to kill some time, and they literally just had a three minute scene that was Rosario Dawson and Will Smith looking sadly at each other. And then Tommy Lee Jones joined in, but I don't know what he was looking sadly at.

WTF?

I still think the "IT JUST BE RAINING BLACK PEOPLE IN NEW YORK!" line is like the funniest ever.

Just because.

I'm really happy we had a final three of three really amazing, gorgeous, kind, and talented men.

LOVE HER!

I can give or take Rich from fourfour, but good lord, this is hysterical. And a great premise! Allison's a really good sport and freaking adorable to boot. Also, I'm a crazy person who really loves cats, so... you know.

BRANDEN!!!!

Congrats, baby!!

I'll admit he was the one, out of the three, who I least wanted to win. I just don't think he's performed as well as the other two, but I looooved all three of those guys, and I knew I'd be thrilled with whatever winner they chose. And I was thrilled with Branden, indeed!

More thoughts tomorrow. For now, just congrats Branden - and Sandhurst and Jonathan, because they did an amazing job too!

Australia's Next Top Model S5.

So I should get caught up on this. AusNTM is pretty much the most amazing NTM series ever, and this season in particular has been really strong. The girls are gorgeous and even the "bad" pictures are very strong. So let me catch up to where we are now...




WEEK 1 ::: SWIMWEAR COUTURE

1. Cassi
Cassi may be a psycho (though her attitude is improving) with Tahlia's attitude about the competition, but she can take one hell of a photo. This is a really hard pose to hold, but she pulls it off effortlessly.

2. Lola
That's a weird face, but I love her pose. She looks like a great pin-up.

3. Clare
Her body looks great, and that face is kind of literally orgasmic.

4. Georgie
Considering that she's hoisting up that huge ball, I think this photo is really cute and pretty graceful. Love that face.

5. Madison
I wish we could see more of the suit (the full version is much better), but she looks really beautiful. Do something with that hair and she's awesome.

6. Tahnee
Again, I wish we could see more of the swimsuit... but she's working all the weird accessories she was given, and she's really beautiful.

7. Eloise
The face is wacky and it seems like a poor imitation of Claire's, but great body on this one, and she's showing it off well.

8. Adele
It wasn't bottom two worthy, but it wasn't great either. I love her posiness, actually, she looks very pin-up girl. But it's off in the face and the angle is kind of odd (not that that's her fault).

9. Franky
I like her body pose a lot minus the weird arm. But her face is just kind of odd.

10. Leah
It's just... not great. I think it's kinda cute, but it also looks like she has a headache.

11. Laura M.
WAAYYYY too squinty and we need to see more of the suit.

12. Laura T.
It's pretty blah. Her ass looks thick and this photo honestly reminds me of little else other than some celebrity caught by the paparazzi sunbathing, and putting her hand up to block it. Not a model.

13. Mikarla
No, it's not the worst thing for a model to be INCREDIBLY skinny. It IS really bad, however, when you pose like that and look like you're being tortured on the rack when you're that skinny.



WEEK 2 ::: SUSPENDED TRAPEZE

1. Laura M.
Homegirl nailed it. That's all. It's amazing she got that pose while all scrunched up.

2. Clare
Gorgeous ethereal fashion nymph.

3. Madison
It's a little messy... but I love the energy. It's really engaging. I wish the clothes looked just a little better.

4. Georgie
I think she looks really calm and collected and I love her pose.

5. Cassi
I love how relaxed she looks, like she's hanging out by a wall or something, but I don't like that smirky weird face.

6. Franky
I love her pose, even if she is very showgirl.

7. Mikarla
She looks a little disheveled and sweaty, but overall, I get kind of an ethereal effect from this photo. Her body looks great this week.

8. Eloise
She looks pretty disheveled and she's got a titscrepancy, but... I don't know. It's not that bad. I like her pose.

9. Leah
There's nothing special in this photo, but it's not offensively bad. She could use a little more lightness in her eyes and face, because she looks so dull.

10. Lola
I actually really like her face, but her pose is lamer than Leah's. She's just sitting there, but she's managed to completely distort her arms. Also, her legs look REALLY skinny, and I suspect they were almost completely Photoshopped. It looks like she's afraid of showing her underwear so she CLAMPED them together, which is never exactly a great look.

11. Tahnee
I like how she was going for something different and her face looks so pretty and soft, but this photo is just a noooo. She looks fat, she's missing one of her legs and her other limbs look short, weird, and distorted. And uh, what's up with the boobs?

12. Adele
I remember in full view, this is much better... but I still don't like it. Her face just photographs badly and she looks wide. Either way, it's the worst of the week.



WEEK 3 ::: NATURAL BEAUTY SHOTS

1. Tahnee
It's beautiful but ethereal. It really looks like the cover of some high-end fashion magazine. She still looks youthful, but she looks really mature as well.

2. Eloise
Incredible. I love the expresssion she's giving with her eyes, and how she went for something a little different than the other girls and totally succeeded.

3. Clare
She is otherworldly... that's all. Like the judges said, I get this very ethereal Cate Blanchett in Lord of the Rings thing from her.

4. Mikarla
It's so soft and pretty. She transformed the pain she was feeling in her eyes into total passion.

5. Madison
Wow, she looks like a movie star from the '70s in this photo. It's so glamorous. I love the look on her face. Damn, these photos are all so amazing!!

6. Cassi
The teeth kind of ruin it a little bit, but I think it has this "I'm caught in the moment" beauty about it. She really transforms into gorgeousness on any given set.

7. Franky
I like this angle on her face. You can see her bone structure so well, her makeover did wonders for her. I love the slight parting of the lips, but she's not pushing it as far as these other girls.

8. Georgie
She looks fresh, but kind of... pedo young. And something about her face looks almost masculine... something with the styling, I think. I'm not crazy about it.

9. Adele
Again, her face just photographs ugly. And her hair is WAAAYYY too bright, it'll clash with everything.

10. Laura M.
Who the hell styled her hair? I would like to fire them. But she's not doing a whole lot to help, either... she looks really old around her eyes and lips.

11. Lola
LULZ.



WEEK 4 ::: MOVEMENT FOR KOTEX
I don't know why they needed a double elimination, dammit!

1. Madison
I love how whimsical, yet controled that is. She's got such fire in this photo.

2. Mikarla
Fantastic photo. I love that coy look and the movement. Damn her bad attitude, she was only improving photo-wise!

3. Clare
I didn't think she could pull off "adorable," but she totally does it. Ugh, she's wonderful. I love that little leg kick. So cute!

4. Adele
FINALLY she gives me something! That face is a little wonky still, and the body is... I dunno, something's off, but I am an absolute SUCKER for WIND IN THE HAIR! And she's got a great pose.

5. Lola
That dress makes her look pregnant, but I love her pose and her face looks amazing.

6. Laura M.
You know what... I do like that expression on her face. It's very coy. And she looks like Chanel Iman. But I don't see the energy that I do in the others' photos.

7. Cassi
It's awkward, and the proportions of that dress are kind of odd. Her face just looks uncomfortable. But she looks long and lean. It's not a bad photo.

8. Eloise
Great pose. AWFUL face.

9. Franky
That dress looks unflattering on her. And her face is just awful, old and drag.

10. Tahnee
Beautiful face... but I don't see energy and her body looks thiiick.



WEEK 5 ::: LINGERIE IN THE DESERT

1. Clare
More or less perfection... she really got that high fashion editorial broken down thing, plus she's showing off the clothes so well.

2. Tahnee (I'm using the website version, but I'd put the show's version here too)
AMAZING. Her body doesn't look perfect, but I think she looks like a woman, not some stick. Her pose is so determined and it really looks like an ad.

3. Cassi
As a photo, it's BEYOND outstanding. That face is PERFECTION. As a lingerie ad... where is the lingerie?!

4. Franky
I think this is easily her best photo yet. She really pulled off that pose and doesn't look uncomfortable. Her signature scowl is working great.

5. Adele
I just don't like where it's cut off, plus it looks like she needs to tone up a bit. It's good, but it's not special. Maybe it's the best her face has looked though, if not last week.

6. Madison
It's just kind of... stiff. And I see a lot of "sexual assault victim," which isn't good at all.

7. Lola
It's dull, and her proportions look off with the weird cropping.

8. Laura M.
I love her... but her photos were never top tier except Week 2. She looks thick and her face just looks bad.



WEEK 6 ::: CHANEL (!!!!) POSING

1. Lola
Yeah, I didn't think she could pull this off either. But she looks positively divine. Love that bone structure, and her pose.

2. Tahnee
I know it was just a test shot or something, but it's divine. She looks tiny, and I love the pose. She's making it look expensive... I see a sexy schoolmarm or something. I think it's wonderful.

3. Clare
The face is a little weird, she looks slightly fishy, but I love that pose. It's just so subtly couture, yet sexy at the same time.

4. Cassi
She looks very disengaged, but again, I get sexy schoolteacher. She looks like she's wearing Chanel... you can tell it's expensive just by her pose.

5. Adele
Best picture of the season, Sarah? Whuh? I like that smirk but her face STILL DOES NOT LOOK GOOD. And I'm not crazy about her pose, obviously she looks all scrunched up.

6. Laura M.
Well, she looks beautiful, but it's just so dull. She could be advertising anything, and that's not good for freaking Chanel. She didn't deserve to leave, though, not over...

7. Franky

I don't think she's as bad as most AT ALL. But this photo isn't good at all. That pose is lame, and she looks really hunched and in an uncomfortable way, not a high fashiony way. Her signature snarl/scowl looks awful. You know she'd do this pose and that face no matter what she was selling, too. Blah.

I love this show SFM. LOVE!

YES.

Heeeee!

MMaS: top fifteen runways

15. Amanda's gender bending runway
I loved the way she looked in the clothes, and she pulled this style of runway off pretty well. Someone did it just a little bit better, though...

14. Kerryn's athletic runway
It was slightly jiggly, but AMAZING other than that. She just looked awesome.

13. Jordan's gender bending runway
I think she did the whole boyish walk really well, and those clothes actually hid those weird-ass hips of hers!

12. Jonathan & Karen's candy pair
This was so cute. Plus, Jonathan looked HOT. Loved that golf swing, and Karen watching it! It was really creative, but it fit perfectly with their outfits.

11. Mountaha and Salome's improv runway
They KILLED IT! They looked so good in synch. And they really did justice to those... uh... "clothes."

10. Laury's "beautiful freak"
Laury's walk was actually pretty strong. I loved how she incorporated the dancer elements into this particular walk, and she was one of very few to nail it.

9. Mountaha's butterfly accessory runway
Her and Sandhurst were the only ones that did well at all, and she just did particularly well on a really difficult challenge.

8. Salome's English countryside runway
Easily Salome's best runway. In a somewhat looser outfit than that ridiculous red outfit she had on for the elemental week, her "jiggle" actually looks totally beautiful and fashionable. Plus, I loooved the way she did that thing with the coat.

7. Sandhurst's elemental runway
Definition of class. This was outstanding.

6. Jonathan's athletic runway
HOT.

5. Sandhurst's "beautiful freak"
I loooooved how he looked like something from a David Fincher movie. He didn't just fit the brief, he went above and beyond it. He could go a little crazy on the catwalk sometimes (see that #2 worst walk), but he did that to the best advantage this week.

4. Mountaha's English countryside runway
It was just so classy, elegant, and chic, while bringing a whole lot of edginess.

3. Jonathan's Heelys runway
The judges didn't like that ~srs face~ but I actually did. I think the levity of his footwork juxtaposed with his stoic face worked really well. He knew he had to rock this runway, and he totally did. His footwork was amazing.

2. Jonathan and Jordan's improv runway
Given this dumbass challenge, they absolutely nailed it while not going too over-the-top.

1. Kerryn's gender-bending runway
All I have to say is NAILEDITNAILEDITNAILEDIT. UGGGHHHHMAZING.

MMaS: bottom fifteen runways

15. Shawn's Week 1 runway
The guy looks like an axe murderer. He just comes on far too strong.

14. Branden's elemental runway
His walk is rarely strong... but he like, hulked down the runway, and made an ugly face at the end.

13. Salome's athletics runway
Her walk was oookay, but not great... but more importantly, what the fuck was up with that pose?!?!

12. Colin and Kerryn's improv runway
Ohhhh. I love them, so it was PAINFUL to watch this episode, to be honest, because they both fucked up everything. This walk was just so awkward, they hardly did anything, and they were really out of synch.

11. Chris' Week 1 runway
I'm going to steal what Project Rungay said and point out that he walked like he expected someone to slap him.

10. Gabriel's "gender bending" runway
I don't know if he was trying to smile at the end of the runway or what... but HOOOOMYLAWD, that was NOT a good face. And his walk was as awkward and hulking as ever.

9. Ken's Week 1 runway
While I echo Jenny's thoughts on his ass, everything else about this was awful.

8. Branden's Week 1 runway
Branden's walk has gotten much better, but his walk was the single worst in the first week. It was so stiff and incredibly awkward.

7. Chris' candy pairs runway
He was just such a lame walker. It was painful to watch him hoist that candy cane over his head.

6. Gabriel's candy pairs runway
Um... yeahhh. I know he's all ~dark~ and ~doesn't like sweet candy runways~, but he really wasn't trying.

5. CJ's candy pairs runway
Oh yeah. SHE really wants to be here.

4. Amanda's "beautiful freaks" runway
Amanda wasn't a bad walker, but what the fuck was this? She suffered throughout the entire season for blowing that kiss at the end of the runway.

3. Jordan's Heelys runway
Jordan sucked when she was anywhere out of her comfort zone. She did terribly, and looked so panicked that it extended into deranged the entire time. Also, I hate to be this person, but this runway showed how much she really did need to tone up, no matter how skinny. Look at those thighs!

2. Sandhurst's improv runway
I can't watch this without laughing. I think the brief of the runway was to be crazy and over-the-top, but he just looks drunk. The first time I watched this episode, I genuinely thought he was trying to screw up, knowing he had immunity, to make Branden look good. But he wasn't. LOLs. Second funniest runway of the season...

1. Shawn's "beautiful freaks" runway
... only beaten by this one. I don't really have anything else to say here, except

Yeah. That. That's really all I have to say.

Teehee.

MMaS: top fifteen photos

15. Jordan's candy
I used to really dislike this, but I was letting my dislike of the model color this photo. It's really great and very editorial. My only issue with it has nothing to do with her, and everything to do with the cropping - they really needed to crop it above her hips, where the makeup wasn't applied.

14. Colin during the sexy sailor shoot
Salome looks awkward and you can barely see Laury, but Colin did soooo well here. He looks fucking amazing, and you can't tell how awkward or uncomfortable he had been.

13. Sandhurst during the Plexiglas lingerie
His body just looks amazing. Despite sitting, he stands out so much more than Mountaha.

12. Salome's nude
It's a beautiful shot with tons of personality.

11. Amanda, Branden, and Jordan's sexy sailor shoot
I'm not crazy about the way Branden looks in this shot, exactly, but it looks like an advertisement for an expensive perfume. It's really pretty, actually.

10. Jonathan's nude
There's so much subtlety in this... and, uh, NICE ASS.

9. Branden and Colin's sports
They were the only two that didn't look like morons, and I think this photo is obscenely hot and really strong.

8. Mountaha's underwater
I love the pose and face. It looks a lot like, "Oh! You caught me... posing... underwater!" I think it's really cute and charming.

7. Salome's underwater
She took the way she was really feeling and turned it into a beautiful, interesting, and incredibly memorable shoot.

6. Sandhurst's candy
He used his dancer background to his absolute best.

5. Salome's solo Rowdy shot
It's freaking GORGEOUS! As a straight girl, I'm really impressed at how sexy this is, but not too sexy, unlike, say, Katarzyna's lingerie photo. It could be easily used to sell the brand to either sex.

4. Sandhurst's nude
This photo borders on iconic. It's marvelous.

3. Branden's nude
He might have lucked into this... but luck it was indeed.

2. CJ's mirrored emotions
This photo is incredibly powerful. If I look at it for too long, I start to tear up. Her attitude was appalling but her photos are really beautiful, actually.

1. Jonathan's cowboy
DAMN. This is SCALDINGLY hot. GIVE YOUR LOVE TO A COWBOY MAN! It's just beautiful.

MMaS: bottom fifteen photos

15. Sandhurst, Jordan, and Karen's athletics
This is just lame. Jordan, go model for Delia's or something. Sandhurst's is just... meh. Karen is actually doing the best here.

14. Mountaha's mirrored emotions
What the fuck IS this?

13. Laury's candy shot
Total drag queen. And unlike Mountaha's shot from this week, it's an ugly drag queen.

12. Kerryn's '60s photo
I thought Colin actually did okay, minus the huge teeth, but Kerryn looks huge and awkward.

11. Mountaha during the Plexiglas lingerie
Way to completely ruin Sandhurst's great photo. Yuck, look at that face!

10. Gabriel's candy
Considering the BEAUTIFUL raw material, this photo is shockingly bad...

9. Sandhurst and Branden's '60s photo
They completely missed the brief... it's a Facebook photo. And they both look bad.

8. Branden's underwater
It's just awful. The bubbles are distracting, his face looks terrible, and he looks fat.

7. Colin and Ken's Plexiglas lingerie
Colin looks like he's riding Ken like a pony, and his body looks so distorted. Ken looks short and obese.

6. Chris' candy
He looks like a drunken dinosaur that's about to throw up on you.

5. Sandhurst's mirrored emotions
Uhmmm... NO. I love the guy, but this is awful.

4. Mountaha's fire
Completely unconvincing. This photo seems beloved because Mountaha is, but it's a terrible photo. She totally deserved to go home last week, sorry.

3. Mountaha, Salome, and Shawn's athletics
Yikes. None of them look like they know what the hell they're doing, and the way it's photographed, it looks like they're all gonna crash together in the next minute.

2. Jonathan during Rowdy
This is probably unfair, but... in the guy's own words, they chose one photo of him where his eyes were closed. Yeah.

1. Jordan's cowgirl
This photo scares the crap out of me. She looks like she's coming out of one of those Japanese horror movies like The Grudge or something. It's genuinely hideous.

and speaking of Top Chef

the last bit of the finale is on now. I have such a schadenfreudey glee watching Carla fuck up her souffle (not watching her crying. She's not THAT bad.) and yeesh, Toby was pushing for Stefan so hard I thought he was gonna break something.

I love Hosea. Haters GTFO.

Top Chef Masters

Oh, Bravo, stop trying to sell me this. It looks like 40 kinds of lamesauce. Much like The Fashion Show is a lame takeoff of Project Runway, this will be a pale, pathetic version of Top Chef.

...of course, I will still watch. 'Cuz it's Bravo.

AWESOME SAUCE

So I was at the Yankees game tonight, with those really overly fancy Legends Suite seats (I sometimes have ~connections~). For those of you that might care, this is an idea of how close the seats are: I actually got to hear their super cute first baseman Mark Teixeira SCREAM "THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT! THROW THE FUCKING BALL OVER THE PLATE!!" after he got hit for the second time by a pitcher.

Coming from an adorable puppy dog boy scout type like Tex, it was both hilarious and terrifying. And I love how the people talking about the game on TV were like "words were exchanged between the two players."

Let's hope it's a meeting of two winners...

From Trinidad/Tobago Fashion Week, which they did together. Yeah, even fuggo McKey looks AMAZING in the Sandhurst glow :D They are so adorable together! To be honest, McKey should join Colin, Branden, and Sandhurst in their apartment that they're supposedly getting, because I DO like her personality - she's like a fun "one of the guys" - and then they can all be on TV together.

But mostly I just hope they talked about what they did with the prize money they won!!!

Away We Go trailer.

John Krasinski? DOES NOT LOOK GOOD LIKE THAT.



Seriously...

NOOOOO. (how friggin' huge is this photo?)


YES. I'll even throw in a PLEASE there.

MMaS F3: in review.

Aw! Remember Week 1? Branden was homophobic, Jonathan had long hair, and Sandhurst was flawless. Well, one of those things hasn't changed...

+3 for 1st place
+2 for 2nd place
+1 for 3rd place

Of course, it's not a perfect system because there are some weeks where all three of the guys did absolutely amazing, and there are some weeks when one of them did way worse than the rest, but you know.

Suspended lingerie
1. Sandhurst 3
2. Branden 2
3. Jonathan 1
Sandhurst sooooo did the best, and Mountaha totally ruined that photo for him. Branden's is fine but too generic/frat boy, and Jonathan looks really stiff.

Week 1 runway
1. Sandhurst 6
2. Jonathan 3
3. Branden 3
Sandhurst had the best walk this week. It was incredibly strong and confident. Jonathan was great, too. Branden SUCKED. He was the worst walk of the week.

Candy
1. Sandhurst 9
2. Jonathan 5
3. Branden 4
Sandhurst's is soooo gorgeous. Jonathan's is great too, and I love how he plays with the whole... stop sign idea. Branden's is fine, but I never got the fuss about it at all. He looks kinda dead TBH.

Candy pairs runway
1. Jonathan 8
2. Sandhurst 10
3. Branden 5
All three of them did just fantastic. But Jonathan's had that extra, "WOW! DAMN!" factor. I think Branden can owe a lot of his good walk to Sandhurst's creativity, plus lighting a fire under his ass.

Athletics
1. Branden 8
2. Jonathan 10
3. Sandhurst 11
Branden's is GREAT. Jonathan's is hot, but kind of ridiculous. Albeit, it was pretty good for the shoot. Sandhurst just looks kinda silly.

Athletic runway
1. Jonathan 13
2. Sandhurst 13
3. Branden 9
Jonathan's was HOTTTT. HOTTTT. Sandhurst's was beautiful, if too dancer-y. Branden's was lame.

Mirrored emotions
1. Branden 12
2. Jonathan 15
3. Sandhurst 14
Branden just did amazing. It's not so much of an emotional shot, but it's just an amazing photo. Jonathan's is fine, but there's something weird/off in those eyes. Sandhurst... NO.

"Beautiful freaks" runway
1. Sandhurst 17
2. Jonathan 17
3. Branden 13
Considering how marvelously retarded this runway was, they all actually did pretty well. Sandhurst really took it to another level, though. I think he's the only one that nailed it. I loved the fashion-y elements of Jonathan, and Branden did fine but didn't look comfortable in all that makeup and the weird get-up.

Sexy sailors
1. Jonathan 20
2. Branden 15
3. Sandhurst 18
Jonathan's is SEXY. HOT. Etc. The other two are lackluster. Branden's just staring there and his body looks really weird. Sandhurst's would be great if not for the weird sucking on Mountaha's thigh.

"Gender bending" runway
1. Sandhurst 21
2. Jonathan 22
3. Branden 16
Sandhurst looked like such a natural on the runway and he was so strong. Jonathan did really well, too. Loved his masculinity. Branden was just kind of awkward, uncomfortable, and hulky.

Underwater
1. Sandhurst 24
2. Jonathan 24
3. Branden 17
Sandhurst's is great. I love the energy... while it's still controlled. Jonathan's is kind of ridiculous, but I see what he was going for. Branden's is AWFUL.

Elemental runway
1. Sandhurst 27
2. Jonathan 26
3. Branden 19
Sandhurst did amazingly. His walk was beyond classy, to be honest. Jonathan did fine, but he was so stiff! Branden just did awful. He did that Gabe thing where he's such a handsome guy, but he screwed up his face so he looked God awful, plus he's always been an awkward walker.

'60s photoshoot
1. Jonathan 29
2. Branden 21
3. Sandhurst 28
Jonathan did great, but he looks slightly old. Brandhurst's photo is BAD.

Improv runway
1. Jonathan 32
2. Branden 23
3. Sandhurst 29
Jonathan (and Jordan) nailed it. Branden was kind of blah and Sandhurst clearly smoked A WHOLE LOT OF CRACK before doing this runway. I have seriously watched that runway about 30 times on YouTube, and I laugh EVERY TIME. It's second funniest to Shawn's beautiful freak runway...

Cowboys
1. Jonathan 35
2. Sandhurst 31
3. Branden 24
No competition. Jonathan BLEW ME AWAY with this photo. Soooo fucking hot. GIVE YOUR LOVE TO A COWBOY MAN! (If you're in the mood to watch something as gay as Make Me a Supermodel.) Sandhurst did pretty well, and that's not an easy angle to look good at at all... but there's no way that's half as good as Jonathan's. Branden looks like a frat boy yokel.

Countryside runway
1. Jonathan 38
2. Sandhurst 34
3. Branden 25
Eh. This runway was really all about Mountaha and Salome, but Jonathan just looked so... natural.

Nude
1. Branden 28
2. Sandhurst 36
3. Jonathan 39
All three of them did amazingly. Branden may have lucked into it, but WOW that was some luck. Sandhurst's is iconic, damn. Jonathan's is great too, but the styling might be helping him there. All three of these are in my top ten photos of the season, by the way.

Butterfly runway
1. Sandhurst 39
2. Jonathan 41
3. Branden 29
Sandhurst and Mountaha were the only ones who fully succeeded here. Jonathan was a little hulky, but those clothes looked great on him and he looked so soft and young, it was pretty amazing. Branden sucked.

Rowdy
1. Sandhurst 42
2. Branden 30
3. Jonathan 42
Sandhurst had the best solo shot, Branden had great energy but I don't like his solo shot much, and Jonathan... we all know what happened to Jonathan here.

Heelys runway
1. Jonathan 45
2. Sandhurst 44
3. Branden 31
All three did pretty well, but Jonathan and Sandhurst brought it to another level. Branden just kinda... was there.

Swimwear
1. Branden 34
2. Sandhurst 45
3. Jonathan 46
I don't like any of these, and I wish Branden would change his face, but it's the best... I guess. Nice schlong. I don't think Sandhurst's is that bad at all. I love the urgency. My only issue with it is the gap in his teeth. Jonathan's is ridiculous but he still looks hot, and it's the choice of photo and he did well overall.

Gothic/glam runway
1. Branden 37
2. Jonathan 48
3. Sandhurst 46
Branden really blew me away here. His walk was super strong. Jonathan did well too. Sandhurst didn't do badly, but he looked slightly uncomfortable, which he never has before.

Fire
1. Sandhurst 49
2. Jonathan 50
3. Branden 38
Sandhurst murdered it. I've heard a LOT of criticism of this photo (coughbyjealousandobsessiveMountahafanscough), but they're really wrong. He doesn't look crazy at all... partially because of the styling, but partially because, if you look at that face in close-up, there's so much CONTROL there, minus the one popped eyelid. Plus, he's the only one that gave the photographer any sort of usable variation. Jonathan's is fine and "fashion," but not, you know, exciting. Branden looks DUMB.

Suit runway
1. Jonathan 51
2. Sandhurst 51
3. Branden 39
All three did really well, but had flaws. Jonathan still has his elbows out, Sandhurst's was a little... generic-ish (though still strong and classy), and Branden's was still slightly stiff. All three of them did about ten times better than Mountaha, though.

As you can see, Jonathan and Sandhurst are actually tied. They've both done amazingly throughout the season, though both have had their stumbling blocks.

I've come to love Branden (haha, remember when I did my original predictions after Episode 1 and I said he was a homophobic tool who wasn't long for the show? D'oh! I DID call five of the top six, though, so yay?), but I don't think he's been half as good as the other two, and I'll be slightly disappointed if he wins unless he kills it in the last week. He definitely has the most high fashion potential, so he'll have a career no matter what, but if they were going to award on potential, they should just have crowned Colin the winner at casting and not bothered to have a whole damn season. His walk has drastically improved these last two weeks, but it's still awkward, and I've heard all this "OMG HIS PHOTOS ARE SO AMAZING" but he has probably as many stumbles in his portfolio as the other two.

Jonathan... I hear this whole "OMG HE'S NOT A MODEL!" thing on all kinds of forums. Wha? Yeah, he's not a high fashion, European market model. However, you wanna stick him up on a billboard like those really, really LOVELY David Beckham Armani ads? PERFECT. Tyson Beckford is more or less flawless, but he ain't high fashion either. However, he is more or less the definition of a supermodel: someone who moves from campaign to campaign and is known by so many people, even those who don't know a damn thing about fashion or modeling. That's really impressive, considering he's a. a guy and b. black, which makes it unbelievably difficult to make it in the industry.

My heart has been with Colin Sandhurst since the beginning, though. I called him as the winner pre-show, and he's only grown on me. He has a few clunker photos in his portfolio, but overall, he brings a real creativity and thoughtfulness - without getting all caught up in his head - to set, and many of his photos are fantastic. He's always killed it on the runway, and again, he is not only good, but creative. He has many limitations in the industry - his skin color, his height, his "thundah, thundah, thundah thighs" - but he has performed wonderfully this entire competition, and improved on things the judges told him to (looking too dancer-y, having an "accountant face"). Sandhurst FTW!

The Proposal

Guys.

DO YOU THINK THEY'LL ACTUALLY END UP FALLING IN LOVE AND GETTING TOGETHER?! ZOMG I CAN'T TELL

EW.

Anne Hathaway's performance in Bride Wars, you do NOT DESERVE the intro music of "So What." Which is like THE BEST SONG EVER.


Also LOL, Kristin Stewart in Twilight beat Kate Winslet in The Reader.

Ben Stiller...

he looks like he wants to choke/kill a bitch right now. I kinda think the guy can't poke fun at himself too much, or take other people poking fun at him...

Justin Timberlake = FLAWLESS.

I'm only reminded of this right now because I'm watching the MTV Movie Awards and Forest Whitaker is singing "Dick in a Box." AMAZING. As is Justin Timberlake.

WOWWWWW

Did Sacha Baron Cohen/Bruno just try to like... 69 Eminem? And there was a lot of screaming and security and people trying to break him up? And Eminem ran out?

This Bruno is gonna be the greatest movie ever.

Zac Efron, you are cuuuuute.

But what the HELL is up with your hair at this MTV Movie Awards thing?

Also, why is Robert Patterson SO PALE?

I think I may have said this at the MTV Movie Awards last year, but I remember when MTV was so awesome and cool and something I looked forward to watching. I was like 14. Judging by the girls that are all SCREAMING!!!!!! about Twilight right now, MTV's average audience member nowadays is about 14.