Which is better?

Glenn Beck Beats from wreckandsalvage on Vimeo.

or



Nah, it's still gotta be...

Primarily because the last one is genuinely the funniest (ask me how many times I say "OHHHH GOOOODDDDD" or "NO! NO, FUCK NO!" in my daily life. It's a disturbingly large amount) but also because Fox News FTL.

IT'S FUCKING DISTRACTING. OHHH GOOD.

I can't stop listening to/laughing at this. Christian Bale has one heavy-ass accent.

ooh, happy birthday.

Of course, it helps that this is one of the best performances of the 2000s (or hell, in general). But...but...but... it would have been worth it even if the performance were terrible to see this, right?

and happy birthday to Vanessa Redgrave. Her scene in Atonement still sticks with me...

and Gene Hackman. He looks like my dad. Like, a lot.

oscar nomination eve! AHHHH.

WHO'S EXCITED??? Me, obviously. I guess it's too late to set up a novena for Amy Adams/Laura Linney/Nicole Kidman/Romola Garai/Tang Wei/Christian Bale/Tommy Lee Jones...

Comments on the nominations, of course, after I get done with classes which is uh, never, tomorrow.

Because...

Looking down this page, I realized there were only women in the pictures of the blog, and me gushing about their beauty (or in Keira's case, lack thereof). This will not do!

the "kinda missed the point, didn't you?" quotes of the day

"Dennis Hopper [Christian Bale] was so over-the-top in Blue Velvet [American Psycho]. He was utterly ludicrous!"

"My God, Lost in Translation is boring. Nothing happens in that movie."

I'm inspired by IMDb polls.

^ Because she is awesome, and her dress in this picture is totally awesome

So a few days ago, the poll was actresses without Oscar noms. Today, the poll is actors without Oscar noms. So, I was inspired: the Pulpy nominations of both the ladies and the gentlemen without Oscar nominations.

Scarlett Johansson
Best Supporting Actress 1998 - The Horse Whisperer
Best Actress 2003 - Lost in Translation *
A finalist for Ghost World, Girl with a Pearl Earring, and Match Point; semi-finalist for A Love Song for Bobby Long and Scoop; honorable mention for The Prestige (in which I liked her, so suck it)

Maggie Gyllenhaal
Best Actress 2002 - Secretary
A finalist for Happy Endings, Sherrybaby, and Stranger than Fiction; an honorable mention for World Trade Center and Trust the Man

Christina Ricci
Best Supporting Actress 1993 - Addams Family Values
Best Supporting Actress 1997 - The Ice Storm
Best Actress 1998 - Buffalo '66
A finalist for The Opposite of Sex (though she got a nom for Buffalo '66 the same year) and, currently, Black Snake Moan

Jennifer Jason Leigh
Best Actress 1989 - Last Exit to Brooklyn *
Best Actress 1994 - Ms. Parker and the Vicious Circle
Best Supporting Actress 1994 - The Hudsucker Proxy
Best Supporting Actress 1995 - Dolores Claiborne
A finalist for Single White Female

Tilda Swinton
none, a semi-finalist for The Deep End

Maria Bello
Best Supporting Actress 2005 - A History of Violence
A semi-finalist for The Cooler and an honorary mention for World Trade Center

Parker Posey
none; finalist for Best in Show and Waiting for Guffman

Rachel McAdams
none; finalist for Mean Girls and a semi-finalist for Red Eye

Claire Danes
none; finalist for Shopgirl and currently a semi-finalist for Stardust

Kirsten Dunst
Best Supporting Actress 1994 - Interview with the Vampire
Best Supporting Actress 2000 - The Virgin Suicides
Best Supporting Actress 2004 - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Best Actress 2006 - Marie-Antoinette (likely, but I've change my Actress 2006 lineup a million times.)
A semi-finalist for Drop Dead Gorgeous, crazy/beautiful, and Dick

Ziyi Zhang
Best Actress 2000 - Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Best Supporting Actress 2005 - 2046

Sarah Polley
Best Supporting Actress 1997 - The Sweet Hereafter *
A finalist for My Life without Me and (currently) for directing Away from Her

Thandie Newton
none

Emily Mortimer
none, a finalist for Lovely and Amazing and a semi-finalist for Match Point

Emily Blunt
needless to say, none...an honorable mention for The Devil Wears Prada

Gary Oldman
Best Actor 1986 - Sid and Nancy
Best Supporting Actor 1991 - JFK
Currently a semi-finalist for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Christian Bale
Best Actor 1987 - Empire of the Sun
Best Actor 2000 - American Psycho *
Best Actor 2007 - Rescue Dawn * (currently)
Finalist for The Machinist and an honorable mention for Batman Begins and The Prestige

Alan Rickman
Best Supporting Actor 1988 - Die Hard *
Best Actor 1991 - Truly Madly Deeply
Best Actor 1996 - Rasputin (if you count TV movies)
Best Actor 2004 - Something the Lord Made (if you count TV movies)
An honorable mention for Love Actually and, of course, as Snape.

Steve Buscemi
Best Supporting Actor 1996 - Fargo
Best Supporting Actor 2001 - Ghost World
Best Actor 2007 - Interview (currently)
A finalist for Reservoir Dogs

Ewan McGregor
Best Actor 2001 - Moulin Rouge!
A finalist for Transpotting and a semi-finalist for Down with Love

Alfred Molina
none, a semi-finalist for Boogie Nights and Spider-Man 2

Bill Nighy
Best Supporting Actor 2003 - Love Actually
A semi-finalist for Still Crazy

Cillian Murphy
none, a semi-finalist for Breakfast on Pluto and an honorable mention for 28 Days Later...

Paul Bettany
none, a finalist for Dogville and a semi-finalist for Master and Commander

Chiwetel Ejiofor
none, a finalist for Dirty Pretty Things

Daniel Craig
none, a finalist for Casino Royale

Andy Serkis
none, a finalist for Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

Joseph Fiennes
none

Stellan Skarsgard
none

Peter Stormare
none

Robert Carlyle
none, a semi-finalist for Trainspotting

another great part of The Screen Directory...

...is this list.

Ranking the list as it is now:
1. Christian Bale
2. Jake Gyllenhaal
3. George Clooney
4. Hugh Jackman
5. Ryan Phillippe
6. Jude Law
7. Leonardo DiCaprio
8. Viggo Mortensen
9. Brad Pitt
10. Orlando Bloom
11. Russell Crowe
12. Johnny Depp
13. Keanu Reeves
14. Joaquin Phoenix
15. Will Smith

There's also a top 15 of sexiest classic film actors, but that list is total bullshit as Paul Newman is only #7...

2000

2000. Another bad year cuz I might as well get 'em done with.

Best Picture
1. Requiem for a Dream
2. You Can Count on Me
3. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
4. Traffic
5. Best in Show
6. The House of Mirth
7. Wonder Boys
8. Gladiator
9. George Washington
10. Amores Perros (Iñárritu's best, and it's not even close)

Best Director
1. Ang Lee for Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
2. Darren Aronofsky for Requiem for a Dream
3. Steven Soderbergh for Traffic and Erin Brockovich
4. Ridley Scott for Gladiator
5. Lars von Trier for Dancer in the Dark
6. Kenneth Lonergan for You Can Count on Me
7. Mary Harron for American Psycho
8. Alejandro Gonzales Iñárritu for Amores Perros
9. David Gordon Green for George Washington
10. Sofia Coppola for The Virgin Suicides

Best Actor
1. Christian Bale in American Psycho
2. Billy Crudup in Jesus' Son
3. Clive Owen in Croupier (Cliiiiive. <3)
4. Russell Crowe in Gladiator (I'll defend him to the death)
5. Tom Hanks in Cast Away (him too)
6. Javier Bardem in Before Night Falls
7. Michael Douglas in Wonder Boys
8. Ed Harris in Pollock
9. Jamie Bell in Billy Elliot
10. Geoffrey Rush in Quills

Best Actress (quality-wise excellent, quantity-wise pretty shitty...I can't think of anyone other than these 9 that I'd really want to nominate)
1. Ellen Burstyn in Requiem for a Dream
2. Laura Linney in You Can Count on Me
3. Renee Zellweger in Nurse Betty
4. Gillian Anderson in The House of Mirth
5. Cate Blanchett in The Gift
6. Julia Roberts in Erin Brockovich (no, she didn't deserve the Oscar but it's hardly embarassing to say the least)
7. Michelle Pfeiffer in What Lies Beneath
8. Michelle Rodriguez in Girlfight
9. Michelle Yeoh in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (Michelle...?)

Best Supporting Actor
1. Mark Ruffalo in You Can Count on Me (not supporting. Ignore this.)
2. Benicio del Toro in Traffic
3. Willem Dafoe in Shadow of the Vampire
4. Jeffrey Wright in Shaft (!!!)
5. Joaquin Phoenix in Gladiator
6. Albert Finney in Erin Brockovich
7. Morgan Freeman in Nurse Betty
8. Ian Holm in Joe Gould's Secret
9. Michael Douglas in Traffic
10. Tobey Maguire in Wonder Boys

Best Supporting Actress
1. Jennifer Connelly in Requiem for a Dream (years later, still standing as the best performance of the new millennium...and I don't even like Jennifer Connelly)
2. Marcia Gay Harden in Pollock
3. Samantha Morton in Jesus' Son
4. Kate Winslet in Quills
5. Ziyi Zhang in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
6. Parker Posey in Best in Show
7. Catherine Deneuve in Dancer in the Dark
8. Laura Linney in The House of Mirth
9. Kirsten Dunst in The Virgin Suicides
10. Frances McDormand in Almost Famous

Best Screenplay
1. You Can Count on Me
2. American Psycho
3. The House of Mirth
4. Requiem for a Dream
5. Nurse Betty
6. Traffic
7. Amores Perros
8. Billy Elliot
9. O Brother, Where Art Thou?
10. George Washington

Please note, all: Almost Famous blows, except the acting...and even there, Patrick Fugit was sooo dull and Kate Hudson wildly overpraised. Still, everyone else pretty much rocked. Maybe I'm just mad because of how they used "Tiny Dancer" (yes, I love Elton John, now let's move the fuck on)... oh. and if you asked me to see any of these movies again or Chocolat, I'd probably say Chocolat. Yeah, it's only deserving of a C+ movie-wise, but it's warm and adorable...and keep in mind, this is from someone who hates Johnny Depp (GASP!) and who just kind of half-shrugs when she hears Juliette Binoche's name (GASP!).

a good day for birthdays!

Happy birthday to the insanely hot Christian Bale (and in the picture above, he doesn't even have his shirt off). His ridiculously bravura performance in American Psycho still stands as one of the best of the decade. Also, happy birthday Gene Hackman, a legend who has the added bonus of really, really looking like my dad. The French Connection, The Royal Tenenbaums, The Conversation <3 (among others)

I rewatched Children of Men last night through um, not entirely legal means. Even on the teeny screen (coughmycomputercough), God, that film is fucking stunning. It and The Fountain might have to switch places on my top 10 list, and maybe, some day, even The Departed...