GROOOOCE.

I'm hoping this was just a typo or something, though it's probably not.

Fuck, is this bitch gonna win the Oscar the first time she gives a halfway decent performance? If I'm Scarlett Johansson (Lost in Translation), Natalie Portman (Cold Mountain), Sarah Polley (The Sweet Hereafter), or Christina Ricci (Buffalo '66), I am spending Oscar night getting very, very, very drunk and throwing shit at the television every time I see that cartoonish face of hers.

I'm inspired by IMDb polls.

^ Because she is awesome, and her dress in this picture is totally awesome

So a few days ago, the poll was actresses without Oscar noms. Today, the poll is actors without Oscar noms. So, I was inspired: the Pulpy nominations of both the ladies and the gentlemen without Oscar nominations.

Scarlett Johansson
Best Supporting Actress 1998 - The Horse Whisperer
Best Actress 2003 - Lost in Translation *
A finalist for Ghost World, Girl with a Pearl Earring, and Match Point; semi-finalist for A Love Song for Bobby Long and Scoop; honorable mention for The Prestige (in which I liked her, so suck it)

Maggie Gyllenhaal
Best Actress 2002 - Secretary
A finalist for Happy Endings, Sherrybaby, and Stranger than Fiction; an honorable mention for World Trade Center and Trust the Man

Christina Ricci
Best Supporting Actress 1993 - Addams Family Values
Best Supporting Actress 1997 - The Ice Storm
Best Actress 1998 - Buffalo '66
A finalist for The Opposite of Sex (though she got a nom for Buffalo '66 the same year) and, currently, Black Snake Moan

Jennifer Jason Leigh
Best Actress 1989 - Last Exit to Brooklyn *
Best Actress 1994 - Ms. Parker and the Vicious Circle
Best Supporting Actress 1994 - The Hudsucker Proxy
Best Supporting Actress 1995 - Dolores Claiborne
A finalist for Single White Female

Tilda Swinton
none, a semi-finalist for The Deep End

Maria Bello
Best Supporting Actress 2005 - A History of Violence
A semi-finalist for The Cooler and an honorary mention for World Trade Center

Parker Posey
none; finalist for Best in Show and Waiting for Guffman

Rachel McAdams
none; finalist for Mean Girls and a semi-finalist for Red Eye

Claire Danes
none; finalist for Shopgirl and currently a semi-finalist for Stardust

Kirsten Dunst
Best Supporting Actress 1994 - Interview with the Vampire
Best Supporting Actress 2000 - The Virgin Suicides
Best Supporting Actress 2004 - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Best Actress 2006 - Marie-Antoinette (likely, but I've change my Actress 2006 lineup a million times.)
A semi-finalist for Drop Dead Gorgeous, crazy/beautiful, and Dick

Ziyi Zhang
Best Actress 2000 - Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Best Supporting Actress 2005 - 2046

Sarah Polley
Best Supporting Actress 1997 - The Sweet Hereafter *
A finalist for My Life without Me and (currently) for directing Away from Her

Thandie Newton
none

Emily Mortimer
none, a finalist for Lovely and Amazing and a semi-finalist for Match Point

Emily Blunt
needless to say, none...an honorable mention for The Devil Wears Prada

Gary Oldman
Best Actor 1986 - Sid and Nancy
Best Supporting Actor 1991 - JFK
Currently a semi-finalist for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Christian Bale
Best Actor 1987 - Empire of the Sun
Best Actor 2000 - American Psycho *
Best Actor 2007 - Rescue Dawn * (currently)
Finalist for The Machinist and an honorable mention for Batman Begins and The Prestige

Alan Rickman
Best Supporting Actor 1988 - Die Hard *
Best Actor 1991 - Truly Madly Deeply
Best Actor 1996 - Rasputin (if you count TV movies)
Best Actor 2004 - Something the Lord Made (if you count TV movies)
An honorable mention for Love Actually and, of course, as Snape.

Steve Buscemi
Best Supporting Actor 1996 - Fargo
Best Supporting Actor 2001 - Ghost World
Best Actor 2007 - Interview (currently)
A finalist for Reservoir Dogs

Ewan McGregor
Best Actor 2001 - Moulin Rouge!
A finalist for Transpotting and a semi-finalist for Down with Love

Alfred Molina
none, a semi-finalist for Boogie Nights and Spider-Man 2

Bill Nighy
Best Supporting Actor 2003 - Love Actually
A semi-finalist for Still Crazy

Cillian Murphy
none, a semi-finalist for Breakfast on Pluto and an honorable mention for 28 Days Later...

Paul Bettany
none, a finalist for Dogville and a semi-finalist for Master and Commander

Chiwetel Ejiofor
none, a finalist for Dirty Pretty Things

Daniel Craig
none, a finalist for Casino Royale

Andy Serkis
none, a finalist for Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

Joseph Fiennes
none

Stellan Skarsgard
none

Peter Stormare
none

Robert Carlyle
none, a semi-finalist for Trainspotting

I am pleased.

Way to go, IMDb voters.

My ranking:
Jennifer Jason Leigh
Maggie Gyllenhaal
Scarlett Johansson (I know, I know. But I can't help it. I just love her. It's good will left over from Lost in Translation.)
Kirsten Dunst
Christina Ricci (I cannot put into words the joy the picture at the top of this page gives me.)
Maria Bello
Sarah Polley
Rachel McAdams
Ziyi Zhang
Parker Posey
Claire Danes
Emily Mortimer
Tilda Swinton (gar)
Thandie Newton (okay, so Emily was better in The Devil Wears Prada, as overrated as that performance is, than anything Thandie's ever been in. BUT AT LEAST THANDIE'S BEEN IN THE MOVIE BUSINESS FOR OVER, LIKE, A YEAR.)
Emily Blunt (HA.)