slowly, with passion, straight at the camera.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Errr, yeah, about that Oscar post.

Ummm, not sure it's coming until the end of next week-ish... which is bad because this seems to have been an Oscars that everyone forgot all about spectacularly quickly. Oh well.

Kate Winslet still has an Oscar. Hosea is still the winner of Top Chef. So, you know, life's good.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

LMAO.

So, Tina Fey = Sarah Palin. We all know this.

After last night's embarrassing counter-speech to Obama's, Bobby Jindal and his adorable little Southern accent and general attitude have given off the impression that he is much like similarly adorable Kenneth the Page. Jack Donaghy is already like any given Republican, so...

Republican primary in 2012 = any given episode of 30 Rock. This will be so awesome.

Also, words cannot express my delight that Chris Matthews audibly sighed "oh God" as Jindal walked out. I secretly (well, maybe not so much now haha) love Chris Matthews SO MUCH. He's like some little kid who ate way too much candy and JUST CAN'T KEEP HIS EXCITEMENT AND FEELINGS TO HIMSELF, OKAY?!!!!!!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

OMFG YES.

So lately I've been mentally crying out "JAI HOOOOOO!!!!" in response to anything great that happens because goddamn, I love that song (and I really need to see that movie!). And now, let me amend that...

jai hoooooooooSEAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! (this is better than the NOsea I am expecting to see everywhere and already have at Amuse-Biatch, which is amazing.)

I'm the only person on the internet that is excited, nay thrilled, about this!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

RDJ, why so hot bb?

Oh man, seriously. And yes, Heath deserved the Oscar this year, but you're getting yours soon, babe.

Monday, February 23, 2009

No, last one. I swear.

Every time I see this photo or one in this group with the three of them being adorable (I think Sean Penn really did channel the true Harvey Milk... he's been so frankly sweet and charming this whole awards season, as opposed to "XCUSE ME SIR JUDE LAW IS ONE OF OUR FINEST ACTORS AHEM"), I think for a second, "Oh, what, was the winner of Best Supporting Actor too ~busy~ to pose for an adorable 'Oscar winners' photo?" And then I remember and feel like a horrible, horrible person. Which I am.

Oh, one final note before the main Oscar deluge:

Reese... what the fuck is this shit? This dress is totally disastrous and you usually look a billion percent awesome. Ugh, you've even got crazy-ass eyes to go along with this getup. And I think the eyes give it away: clearly this isn't actually Reese Witherspoon, but like, her evil twin who decided to smear her good name in the fashion world and run away with Jake Gyllenhaal. Poor Reese, tied up in a closet somewhere, never saw it coming.

Technical difficulties (not really).

So it's going to be an excessively busy week for me, and I don't really have time to cover the Oscars in as much depth as I'd like until the end of the week. So I promise I will get to them, but it will more than likely be, like, Friday afternoon, when no one cares any more. Oh well. ;_;

I will leave you with a picture of oompa loompa doompity dawesome:

I LOVE THIS. Except Meryl, girl, I love you, but give it back to its rightful owner this year.

Oh, and

Yes, Anne, this was adorable. I will continue to irrationally dislike you (well, actually, it's not irrational, I find you completely annoying and like a twit personality-wise, and a completely untalented actress. Yes, you were fine in Rachel Getting Married and I don't begrudge your acting, but if that role was played by an actress it was trendy to dislike as opposed to one it's trendy to like - like Natalie Portman or Scarlett Johansson - I wonder how it would have been reviewed). Hugh Jackman, you get a B-. You tried - and goddamn it you freakin' smoldered with your hotness - but sorry, I just need some snarky-ass Jon Stewart jokes to get me through the ceremony. It didn't help that you were part of the most upset-less Oscar ceremony in, like, years. Oh, and speaking of hosting...

Tina, you looked AMAAAAAZING (see what happens when you don't wear boring-ass black for once?!) and yes, you were the best presenter along with Steve Martin. But oh my God, people, people, people, she does not need to host next year!!! Like Tina isn't already hyped enough by the media.

Judd Apatow, congrats, that short about the comedies of 2008 was the best thing you've done so far. Hilarious.

You'll get the rest of my snark on Friday or so...

oh, and by the way

19/24.

Either I was really ON or the awards were incredibly predictable. Um, I'm going with the latter.

Kate WINSlet.

And thank God for that!

More tomorrow. Yeesh that was a boring ceremony. There's hardly anything to snark on. ;_;

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Probably not for real, but...

Here's an article about the "leaked" Oscar winners, and it's got the supposed leaked list.

I don't believe this for a second, but if those were the results, I wouldn't mind at all. I didn't like Amy Adams at ALL in Doubt, but I can just pretend it's for Enchanted and possibly giggle at the undoubtedly sour look that will pop up on Penelope's face. In Bruges winning Best Original Screenplay would be like, the greatest thing ever, next to KATE WINNING! So, I do hope it's true, but the chances are like 99% that it's not.

Friday, February 20, 2009

More thoughts on the ANTM Cycle 12 girls...

Because here are their videos.

Allison
She seems super sweet and super shy too. Hopefully she's not Marjorie, though, because oh my God one season of that was enough. Her interest in photography makes her not just some boring generic girl. I like her a lot.

Aminat
The pictures first came out and I loved her. Then I saw her pre-show pics and they were MEH and my love subsided. And now, the more video comes out of her, the more I love her again. She seems like she has a great, fun, distinct personality. She's confident but not cocky. I think she'll photograph really interestingly. And she really does look like Danielle in action. I hope they don't shave her head, I hope they make her fro BIGGER, LOL.

Celia
She still looks super old and her face is almost a little scary and skull-like, but I like her. I think she has a brain. Her Kentucky explanation was hysterical, and I love that Annie Hall is her favorite movie. Something about her says HUGE SECRET BITCH though, and you know what? I like her even more because of that! I just hope she photographs well...

Fo
She is cute as all hell, and probably actually one of the prettiest girls that's ever been on ANTM. I didn't like her lame "I wanted to be on ANTM because I didn't want to go through agencies or EXERT EFFORT to become a model" thing, though. Eh, she's a little boring, but like I said, she's got a really cute, sweet way about her, and she's super pretty.

Isabella
HOLY EYELINER BATMAN. But seriously she is so freaking cute though and looks a lot better in motion than in that one promo photo. I don't see fakeness, like some are claiming, but I do have to see her on the show I guess. Some people are just enthusiastic, like Analeigh. I love her Starbucks love. I do wish she'd shut up about the goddamn raspberries already.

Jessica
I'm nearly fluent in Spanish but my accent BLOWS so I'm super jealous of her adorable and fantastic accent. I loooove how she says El Cantante. She strikes me as entertainingly cocky, but still kind of boring. Like Isabella needs to shut up about raspberries, she needs to shut up about sushi.

Kortnie
She's orange, but my God she is soooo pretty. Oh, and how the hell is she plus-size, I still don't get that. She's like, too big to be some HF model, I'll give you that, but there's no way she's anywhere close to even Sarah C9 size. She's just got enormous boobs. Whatever, I love her personality. I hope she's as fun as she seems here. I love what she says about Wet Hot American Summer; I think the entire point is that it sounds like a porn!

London
She needs to stop screaming at me and she seems a little crazy, but I dunno, I like her more now. She's pretty in motion. But why the hell does she go on and on and on and on about being curvy? Girl, you know that's reserved for the plus-size chicks. I like that she's religious and cool, because I think religious people get a really bad rap, especially in the media. Hopefully she's tolerant and whatnot. Oh, and PALE ITALIAN MUTTS UNITE!!

Natalie
She pretty. She no have much of a personality. So, who knows. Also, when it comes to Holocaust stuff, Schindler's List owns The Pianist, bitch. ;)

Nijah
I adore her top and I think she's really pretty and cute and charming, but she seems boring as all heck. There's always a generic white girl, and there's usually a generic black girl, and I think she's that generic black girl.

Sandra
Apparently spoilers say she's a BITCH, but I don't see that at all. If anything, I see a girl that's boring as all heck, though I do love her accent. I mean, her background is interesting, but she's just like... SWAHILI!!!!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE that two girls are from Africa, though. Her face and body looks amazingly modelesque, but she's got CRAZY EYES.

Tahlia
She's sooooo much prettier in motion than she is in photos. And yes, we know you're courageous and strong and a burn survivor, can we move on? Ah, that was insensitive of me. ._. Hopefully she is a natural model, because apparently she's never been at a photoshoot before, but I dunno...

Teyona
I dunno, she's cute and seems to be fun - I loved her talking about New Jersey - but she doesn't really stand out. I think she has the potential to be fairly editorial though. Based on her promo shot, I thought she was gonna be a HUGE BITCH, but she doesn't seem that way here at all. Yay.

So far, I actually kind of like all of them! I need to see who's gonna be super bitchy on the show and who photographs terribly to decide who I don't like, haha.

UGH.

Oh No They Didn't has the picture of Rihanna post-abuse and I looked at it and I want to throw up. I hope Chris Brown rots. I feel the need to include a picture of Rihanna being all cute and happy here, except now it only made me sadder about the whole thing. :( Like I said, I hope Chris rots, and that she gets better ASAP and maybe even becomes some sort of spokesperson against domestic abuse. Ugh, the whole thing just makes me sick to my stomach, she looks like she wants to burst out crying in that ONTD photo ;_;

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Entertainment Weekly's list of the top 50 working directors.

50. Sidney Lumet
Yes, he is badass. And should be over a LOT of these guys.

49. Mary Harron
I love that just because she's a woman her work apparently subverts the patriarchy or whatever. I'm in a women's studies class and OH MY GOD, GUYS, I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE, WHITE WOMEN WHO ARE WEALTHY ENOUGH TO MAKE FILMS AREN'T THE MOST OPPRESSED PEOPLE IN THE WORLD CAN WE MOVE ON????? ahem

48. Michael Moore
He's an absolute beyond obnoxious asshole........ and he's generally right as all hell. His movies are very strong.

47. Andrew Stanton
Well seeing as he's made, like, ALL my favorite movies, yes. I just never know who's really in charge of what in an animated movie, stupid as that might sound.

46. Mira Nair
Her work is beautiful, but often doesn't do all that much for me. I feel very underinformed about the Indian culture, though.

45. Wes Anderson
Sometimes he's great. Sometimes he's crap. I'll always love him for having a man-crush on Bill Murray and constantly keeping him employed, though.

44. Wong Kar-Wai
OMG MAKE HIM HIGHER NOWWWWW

43. David Lynch
Eh. He's very overrated, but I can't deny how much I love Blue Velvet. Oh, and Lost Highway formed a cult? Mulholland Dr. was a masterpiece? See, EW, this is why I call him overrated.

42. Spike Lee
HELL YES. Not always great, not always even good, but when he's on, this guy is on. And he's on quite a bit. He should be much higher.

41. Richard Linklater
Very uneven.

40. Spike Jonze
So weird. I do like some of his movies a whole lot, though.

39. Roman Polanski
There is no denying he is a legend, but his work lately has been meh.

38. Oliver Stone
Sometimes I love him and sometimes I want to punch him in the jaw. Oooh, I really need to see W.

37. Mike Leigh
Love him, even if Happy-Go-Lucky and Sally Hawkins' performance in it were huge disappointments. His methods of working are just great, and he looks like a cuddly uncle.

36. Hayao Miyazaki
Uh, yeah. He's basically flawless. He and Pixar should just make every animated movie and nobody else should even bother.

35. Alfonso Cuaron
A little too technical, a little overpraised, but still very good.

34. JJ Abrams
I haven't seen a whole lot of what he's done, because it's mostly TV stuff, but yeah, he is extraordinarily influential with a huge fanbase.

33. Wachowski brothers
No. =/ Hated The Matrix, all of them.

32. Mel Gibson
Again, no. =/

31. Sam Mendes
I adore him, but I don't think he'll ever make a film that will live up to American Beauty. That thing is fuckin' flawless.

30. Bryan Singer
He made The Usual Suspects, which was badass and which I always forget he did. For that, I've got a lot of respect for him. I would have liked to see his take on Milk because IIRC he was originally slated to direct.

29. Sofia Coppola
I LOVE YOU RIGHT NOW EW. PLEASE MAKE HER HIGHER.

28. David Cronenberg
Eh. A History of Violence was pretty much perfect though.

27. Brad Bird
The favorite films of mine Andrew Stanton didn't make, this guy did.

26. Woody Allen
Yup. Lately he's been on a sort of creative renaissance too, which is great. He should be much higher, and beat...

25. Jon Favreau
Uh. I loved Iron Man, you loved Iron Man, we all loved Iron Man, but he does not deserve to be this high yet.

24. Pedro Almodovar
Love him, hate EW's explanation. "HURRRR HE SHOWS OFF PENELOPE'S TITS A+++!!!!"

23. Paul Greengrass
He really is a very good director, but I can't say I LOVE any of his films.

22. Paul Thomas Anderson
YES HIGHER PLZ KTHNXBYEEEEE

21. Ang Lee
He is such an asshole, as I have whined about before, but yes, an excellent director.

20. Ron Howard
His movies are usually good but not GREAT. I don't think he deserves a Best Director Oscar, but I did loooove Apollo 13.

19. Clint Eastwood
Like him, don't love him. I don't get the Academy's hard-on for him, or the bloggers' hate-on for him.

18. Danny Boyle
LOOK GUISE SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE WE ARE TRENDY. He's a good director, but not this good.

17. Darren Aronofsky

YES. Also, EW, you morons, you weren't sure he was concerned with human beings until The Wrestler? Did you see The Fountain or Requiem for a Dream? Idiots.

16. Zack Snyder

Well... I'll always appreciate that he made the cheesefest that is 300.

15. Sam Raimi

Yes, though probably not this high. And stop hating on Spider-Man 3!

14. Judd Apatow

Oh, I was wondering when he was going to show up. Seeing how this is EW, I think we should all be happy he's not in the top ten... get off his cock, Entertainment Weekly. And yes, when it comes to EW and Judd Apatow, I will always say the crudest thing possible. I think it's what Judd would want.

13. Tim Burton

He's not really my kind of director to be honest but he's prolific and he's made some very good films. I just think he's overrated and shouldn't be this high.

12. David Fincher

Yes. Of course, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is like his worst film, and the one he gets an Oscar nomination for, because that's how these things work.

11. Guillermo del Toro

He shouldn't be this high. He's very inventive, but that's... about... it.

10. Joel & Ethan Coen

Ugh, I love them. For some reason, they get misanthropy and dark comedy SO PERFECT.

9. James Cameron

Ummmmm... maybe. Definitely not top ten in my world.

8. Michael Mann

OHHHH MAN, I LOVE YOU FOR THIS ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY. Well, except Miami Vice. Man, that movie was bad, and all the people trying to justify it were even worse. People, there are better ways to subvert stupid ass summer movies than by MAKING THEM SUPER BORING.

7. Quentin Tarantino

Yes. He can basically do no wrong in my book.

6. Ridley Scott

In the past, maybe, but he's been in such a slump lately, unfortunately. I do need to see Body of Lies and judge for myself.

5. Steven Soderbergh

I LOOOOVE how he effortlessly moves between genres, from summer blockbusters to typical Oscarbait to weird-ass crap. Certainly one of the most important and yes, probably best directors of our time.

4. Christopher Nolan

Heck yes. I'm not exactly a fangirl, but I love how he subverts mainstream films and makes them thirty times more interesting. Like, Michael-Mann-directing-Miami-Vice, you need to learn from this guy.

3. Martin Scorsese

Why is he not #1? Look, I love Spielberg and like Jackson, but there's really no excuse.

2. Peter Jackson

I like him, but don't ZOMGLOTRLOOOOVE him.

1. Steven Spielberg

I'd put him more in the top five than #1 itself, but yeah, there's no doubt he has a very strong ouevre. And I think he's badass and really like him.

NOOOOOO!!!!!!

NOT MY BB FABIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm gonna say it, and yes I'm the only one that wants this: HOSEA FTW!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

FINAL OSCAR PREDIX, AAAAOOOGAH!

Yeah. I reserve the right to change any of these until Sunday night. And a lot of this is me guessing, especially on the documentary shorts and whatnot, hahah.

BEST PICTURE: Slumdog Millionaire (alt. Milk)
BEST DIRECTOR: Danny Boyle (alt. David Fincher)
BEST ACTOR: Mickey Rourke (alt. Sean Penn)
BEST ACTRESS: Kate Winslet (alt. Meryl Streep)
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Heath Ledger (alt. Philip Seymour Hoffman)
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Penelope Cruz (alt. Viola Davis)
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: Milk (alt. Wall-E)
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: Slumdog Millionaire (alt. The Reader)
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY: The Reader (alt. Slumdog Millionaire)
BEST EDITING: Slumdog Millionaire (alt. Milk)
BEST ART DIRECTION: The Curious Case... (alt. Changeling)
BEST COSTUME DESIGN: The Duchess (alt. The Curious Case...)
BEST MAKEUP: The Curious Case... (alt. The Dark Knight)
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE: Slumdog Millionaire (alt. The Curious Case...)
BEST ORIGINAL SONG: "Jai Ho" (alt. "Down to Earth")
BEST SOUND: Slumdog Millionaire (alt. The Dark Knight)
BEST SOUND EDITING: The Dark Knight (alt. Slumdog Millionaire)
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS: The Curious Case... (alt. The Dark Knight)
BEST ANIMATED FILM: Wall-E (alt. Kung Fu Panda)
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM: Waltz with Bashir (alt. The Class)
BEST DOCUMENTARY: Man on Wire (alt. Trouble the Water)
BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT: The Conscience of Nhem En (alt. The Final Inch)
BEST SHORT FILM, ANIMATED: Presto (alt. Oktapodi)
BEST SHORT FILM, LIVE ACTION: Toyland (alt. The Pig)

Whew. We'll see how well I did late Sunday night or Monday morning/afternoon, depending on how busy I am :)

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

I don't think I mentioned it but...

This guy is going to be on The Office for a bunch of episodes in the spring, playing whoever is in Jan and Ryan's former job. Apparently he was in American Gangster, but I don't remember him... and The Office sure as hell does love its Wire guest stars. I'm hoping Stringer Bell can be half as awesome as Beadie Russell was... ooh, and I wonder if he's gonna keep his British accent? Probably not.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Major Oscar predix.

I reserve the right to change these up to the ceremony. :P

Best Picture
Slumdog Millionaire
It's got all the hype and many of the precursors. Barring some huge upset, it's got this in the bag. The Curious Case... will continue its trend of being nominated for tons of big things but winning none of those big things.
Alternate: Milk
I've seen/Should win, with my limited viewings in mind: Milk, The Curious Case... (yes, I watched it online a little while ago, and OMG SOOOO BORING and just... not right at all, tonally), and The Reader / Milk
Snubbed: Wall-E

Best Director
Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire
See above.
Alternate: David Fincher
I've seen/Should win: Daldry, Fincher, Van Sant / Van Sant
Snubbed: Christopher Nolan, The Dark Knight

Best Actor
Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler
It's close with him and Sean Penn. But I think, in the end, the "underdog" story will truly appeal to the voters, those saps. ;) It will be CLOSE, though.
Alternate: Sean Penn
I've seen/Should win: Penn and Pitt / PENN.
Snubbed: Robert Downey Jr., Iron Man. Not kidding.

Best Actress
Kate Winslet, The Reader
KING OF KINGS! AND LORD OF LORDS!!!!
Alternate: Meryl Streep
I've seen/Should win: Hathaway, Leo, Streep, Winslet. Whoo, almost done! / Winslet
Snubbed: Rebecca Hall or Scarlett Johansson, Vicky Cristina Barcelona. I finally saw all of Happy-Go-Lucky, and Sally Hawkins does not deserve to be in this category, sorry.

Best Supporting Actor
Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
The only real, true lock.
Alternate: Don't need one, but PSH
I've seen/Should win: ALL OF THEM YAAAAAY / Ledger
Snubbed: Bill Irwin, Rachel Getting Married and Brad Pitt, Burn After Reading

Best Supporting Actress
Penelope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Meh? Good, nomination-worthy, but not OMG GIVE HER AN OSCAR RTM-worthy at all. At least, if they give her an Oscar now, they can get it out of the way. And ha ha, she's not going to get her boyfriend to present it to her. I hope the inane little thing cries about it and not in a good way. Wow, I'm so mean! I can still see any of the nominees here upsetting; Pene's not a huge frontrunner.
Alternate: Viola Davis, Doubt
I've seen/Should win: Adams, Cruz, Davis, Henson / Davis
Snubbed: Rosemarie DeWitt, Rachel Getting Married (though I have her in lead)

Best Original Screenplay
Milk
The film will more than likely pick up its only major award here.
Alternate: Wall-E
I've seen / Should win: ALL OF THEM YAAAAAY / Wall-E
Snubbed: Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Best Adapted Screenplay
Slumdog Millionaire
Get used to "Jai Ho," people. You're going to hear it A LOT on Oscar night when those guys go up to get their 500000 trophies.
Alternate: The Reader
I've seen / Should win: The Curious Case..., Doubt, The Reader / out of those, um, The Reader I guess
Snubbed: Revolutionary Road

Those were my long predictions for the major categories... I'll have a full list up in a few days.

Oh. My. God.

This is a young Mike Huckabee. And he's SERIOUSLY HOT. WHAT THE HELL. Joe Biden was also super super super suave and good-looking, but... but... but... the most disturbing thing of all... possibly ever...

What the hell, DICK CHENEY WAS HOT! AAAHHH!!!! At least he had the "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU" look in his eyes, even back then.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

SNL last night.

I actually missed it, but I've been hearing about how terrible it was from everyone, including my dad, who thinks the show is "still brilliant." When my dad acknowledges an episode is terrible, and Alec Baldwin can't save it, you KNOW it's bad.

The only good thing that would have resulted from McCain/Palin being elected was that Saturday Night Live would have stayed as funny as it was during the election.