the dad, on Fight Club

Dad: So what happened to Brad Pitt at the end?
Me: Well, Edward Norton shot himself through the head to get rid of him.
Dad: Why? What?
Me: ...because Brad Pitt was the other part of his split personality?
Dad: Whaaaaaa????? But they were like, in the room together! At the same time! And Brad talked to him and stuff!
Me: ...

(I love my dad, or as I call him, the padge, mucho. But seriously.)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EDWARD NORTON!

One of the best working actors, and sexy as hell to boot.

sigh, boredom.

here's a random picture of Edward Norton, because he's cute, and this entry is a lot of text, and he's on here. Somewhere.

So I went back to the Screen Directory and found their lists of both classic and contemporary actors and actresses. And then, I listed both their best performances and best movies (that they appeared in at all - even as cameos or really minor parts before they were known). Really exciting, I know. And I copied and pasted this, so it's not capitalized or anything.

actors - classic.

cary grant
p: north by northwest
m: bringing up baby

marlon brando
p: last tango in paris
m: the godfather

james stewart
p: mr. smith goes to washington
m: vertigo

laurence olivier
p: hamlet
m: marathon man?

alec guinness
p: bridge on the river kwai
m: great expectations

robert de niro
p: raging bull
m: raging bull

jack nicholson
p: one flew over the cuckoo's nest
m: one flew over the cuckoo's nest

al pacino
p: the godfather, part 2
m: angels in america

peter sellers
p: dr. strangelove, or...
m: lolita

clint eastwood
p: unforgiven
m: unforgiven (or mystic river, if we can count directing only)

harrison ford
p: witness
m: raiders of the lost ark

jack lemmon
p: glengarry glen ross
m: some like it hot

clark gable
p: gone with the wind (he is better than leigh)
m: it happened one night

kirk douglas (holy shit, i looked him up on imdb and he is old)
p: to be honest, i have no idea. i really haven't seen much of his early work in a while. paths of glory?
m: see above.

henry fonda
p: 12 angry men
m: 12 angry men


actresses - classic.

katharine hepburn
p: the lion in winter
m: also probably the lion in winter. but there's a lot to choose from.

bette davis
p: all about eve
m: all about eve

ingrid bergman
p: autumn sonata
m: casablanca

greta garbo
p: honestly, i haven't watched ANYTHING she's in, except grand hotel which was terrible.
m: see above

elizabeth taylor
p: who's afraid of virginia woolf?
m: who's afraid of virginia woolf?

judi dench
p: notes on a scandal
m: shakespeare in love

lauren bacall
p: to have and have not
m: dogville. AND I'M NOT KIDDING!

audrey hepburn
p: breakfast at tiffany's
m: roman holiday

vivien leigh
p: a streetcar named desire
m: a streetcar named desire

deborah kerr
p: black narcissus
m: from here to eternity

vanessa redgrave
p: blow-up
m: evening. j/k, blow-up.

meryl streep
p: sophie's choice
m: angels in america (or manhattan. please help me make a decision.)

susan hayward
p: i want to live!
m: i want to live! (please note: i've only seen that and i'll cry tomorrow as far as movies she's in.)

shirley maclaine
p: irma la douce
m: the apartment

norma shearer
huh? who are you? (yes, i know who she is. i've just never seen any of her movies, except the women and romeo and juliet, and i haven't seen that last one in a while, and i didn't really find her terribly good in the women.


actors - contemporary.

philip seymour hoffman
p: magnolia
m: magnolia

edward norton
p: american history x
m: 25th hour

sean penn
p: dead man walking
m: mystic river

christian bale
p: american psycho
m: newsies (shh)

leonardo dicaprio
p: the departed
m: the departed

johnny depp
p: ed wood
m: ed wood

russell crowe
p: the insider
m: l.a. confidential

denzel washington
p: malcolm x
m: inside man

jack nicholson
p: one flew over the cuckoo's nest (90s and on only: about schmidt)
m: one flew over the cuckoo's nest (90s and on only: the departed)

joaquin phoenix
p: walk the line
m: gladiator

kevin spacey
p: american beauty
m: american beauty

ralph fiennes
p: schindler's list
m: schindler's list

tom hanks
p: forrest gump
m: toy story

geoffrey rush
p: the life and death of peter sellers
m: shakespeare in love

paul giamatti
p: sideways
m: the truman show


actresses - contemporary.

cate blanchett
p: elizabeth
m: the talented mr. ripley

nicole kidman
p: dogville
m: moulin rouge!

kate winslet
p: eternal sunshine...
m: eternal sunshine...

hilary swank
p: boys don't cry
m: million dollar baby

reese witherspoon
p: election
m: election

renee zellweger
p: bridget jones' diary
m: chicago

juliette binoche
p: three colors blue
m: three colors blue

jennifer connelly
p: requiem for a dream
m: requiem for a dream

rachel weisz
p: the constant gardener
m: the fountain

maggie gyllenhaal
p: secretary
m: adaptation.

charlize theron
p: monster
m: that thing you do! (okay you know what. i really like that movie. probably just because the song IS AWESOME.)

rachel mcadams
p: mean girls
m: mean girls

julianne moore
p: safe
m: magnolia

toni collette
p: muriel's wedding
m: muriel's wedding

naomi watts
p: mulholland dr.
m: the painted veil

Returning to The Screen Directory...

Remember this? So, I was really bored and I decided to list my nominations for their top 15 actors and actresses. Here goes! For every actor/actress, I have only included their 1990s and 2000s work (sorry Jack.).


the gentlemen

philip seymour hoffman
1999 - best supporting actor, magnolia (loses to tom cruise magnolia)
2000 - best supporting actor, almost famous (loses to mark ruffalo you can count on me)
top 10s for capote (2005), top 15s for the talented mr. ripley (1999), 25th hour (2002), and owning mahoney (2003)

edward norton
1996 - best supporting actor, primal fear *
1996 - best supporting actor, the people vs. larry flynt (loses to...himself)
1998 - best actor, american history x (loses to ian mckellen gods and monsters)
2002 - best actor, 25th hour (loses to jack nicholson about schmidt)
top 10s for fight club (1999), top 20s for the painted veil (2006)

sean penn
1993 - best supporting actor, carlito's way (loses to ralph fiennes schindler's list)
1995 - best actor, dead man walking (loses to nicolas cage leaving las vegas)
2003 - best actor, mystic river (loses to bill murray lost in translation)
top 10s for sweet and lowdown (1999) and 21 grams (2003), top 15s for the assassination of richard nixon (2004). and i still haven't seen much of his 80s stuff.

christian bale
2000 - best actor, american psycho *
top 10s for the machinist (2004), top 20s for batman begins (2005), top 30s for the prestige (2006) (last year was really strong for actors, he was quite good)

leonardo dicaprio
1993 - best supporting actor, what's eating gilbert grape? (loses to ralph fiennes schindler's list) 2006 - best actor, the departed (loses to ryan gosling half nelson)
top 10s for catch me if you can (2002), top 15s for the aviator (2004)

johnny depp
none. top 10s for ed wood (1994) - he's great, but i can't imagine taking anyone out of my top 6 (he's #7)

russell crowe
1997 - best actor, l.a. confidential (loses to ian holm the sweet hereafter)
1999 - best actor, the insider (loses to kevin spacey american beauty)
2000 - best actor, gladiator (loses to christian bale american psycho)
2001 - best actor, a beautiful mind *
top 10s for master and commander (2003), top 15s for cinderella man (2005), top 25s for a good year (seriously) (2006)

denzel washington
1992 - best actor, malcolm x *
2001 - best actor, training day (loses to russell crowe a beautiful mind)
top 25s for inside man (2006)

jack nicholson (remember, 1990s and after only)
2002 - best actor, about schmidt *
top 10s for as good as it gets (1997) and the pledge (2001), top 15s for the departed (2006)

joaquin phoenix
none. top 10 for quills (2000) and top 15 for walk the line (2005)

kevin spacey
1995 - best supporting actor, the usual suspects *
1997 - best supporting actor, l.a. confidential *
1999 - best actor, american beauty *
top 10s for henry & june (1990), the ref (1994), a time to kill (1996), hurlyburly (1998), and the life of david gale (2003), top 20s for superman returns (2006)

ralph fiennes
1993 - best supporting actor, schindler's list *
1996 - best actor, the english patient (loses to jeffrey wright basquiat)
2005 - best actor, the constant gardener (loses to heath ledger brokeback mountain)
top 15s for spider (2002) and he's also really good in red dragon, believe it or not...i need to put him in my lineup somewhere

tom hanks
1994 - best actor, forrest gump (loses to paul newman nobody's fool)
2000 - best actor, cast away (loses to christian bale american psycho)
top 10s for philadelphia (1993)

geoffrey rush
1996 - best actor, shine (loses to jeffrey wright basquiat)
top 15s for shakespeare in love and elizabeth (1998), quills (2000), and pirates of the carribbean: the curse of the black pearl (2003)

paul giamatti
2004 - best actor, sideways (loses to clive owen closer)
top 15s for the illusionist (2006), cinderella man (2005), and american splendor (2003)


the ladies

cate blanchett
1998 - best actress, elizabeth (loses to samantha morton under the skin)
2000 - best actress, the gift (loses to ellen burstyn requiem for a dream)
top 10s for oscar and lucinda (1997), heaven (2002), veronica guerin (2003), coffee and cigarettes (2004), and the good german (2006)

nicole kidman
1995 - best actress, to die for (loses to elisabeth shue leaving las vegas)
1999 - best supporting actress, eyes wide shut *
2001 - best actress, moulin rouge! (loses to naomi watts mulholland dr.)
2001 - best actress, the others (yes, nominated twice)
2004 - best actress, dogville (loses to kate winslet eternal sunshine...)
2004 - best actress, birth (yes, nominated twice...again)
top 15 for fur (2006)

kate winslet (and the fangirlyness starts!!!)
1994 - best actress, heavenly creatures (loses to linda fiorentino the last seduction)
1995 - best supporting actress, sense and sensibility *
1996 - best supporting actress, hamlet (loses to frances mcdormand fargo)
1999 - best actress, holy smoke! (loses to hilary swank boys don't cry)
2000 - best supporting actress, quills (loses to jennifer connelly requiem for a dream)
2001 - best supporting actress, iris *
2004 - best actress, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind *
2006 - best actress, little children (loses to meryl streep the devil wears prada)
top 10s for jude (1996) and hideous kinky (1998)

hilary swank
1999 - best actress, boys don't cry *
top 15s for million dollar baby (2004)

reese witherspoon
1996 - best actress, freeway (loses to emily watson breaking the waves)
1999 - best actress, election (loses to hilary swank boys don't cry)
2005 - best actress, walk the line (loses to rachel weisz the constant gardener)
top 10 for man on the moon (1991) and legally blonde (2001), top 15 for vanity fair (2004)

renee zellweger
2000 - best actress, nurse betty (loses to ellen burstyn requiem for a dream)
2001 - best actress, bridget jones' diary (loses to naomi watts mulholland dr.)
2003 - best supporting actress, cold mountain (loses to holly hunter thirteen)
top 10s for jerry maguire (1996) and chicago (2002), top 15s for down with love (2003)

juliette binoche
1991 - best actress, lovers on the bridge (loses to jodie foster silence of the lambs)
1994 - best actress, three colors: blue (loses to holly hunter the piano)
top 10s for the english patient (1996)

jennifer connelly
2000 - best supporting actress, requiem for a dream *
top 10s for house of sand and fog (2003)

rachel weisz
2005 - best actress, the constant gardener *
top 15s for the fountain (2006) (can't decide if she's supporting or leading. currently i have her as lead...in supporting, i would nominate her.)

maggie gyllenhaal
2002 - best actress, secretary (loses to samantha morton morvern callar)
top 10s for sherrybaby (2006) and happy endings (2005), top 20s for stranger than fiction (2006), top 30s for world trade center (2006)

charlize theron
2003 - best actress, monster (loses to uma thurman kill bill and scarjo lost in translation)

rachel mcadams
none. top 10s for mean girls (2004) and red eye (2005)

julianne moore
1993 - best supporting actress, short cuts (loses to gong li farewell, my concubine)
1994 - best supporting actress, vanya on 42nd street (loses to uma thurman pulp fiction)
1995 - best actress, safe (loses to elisabeth shue leaving las vegas)
1997 - best supporting actress, boogie nights (loses to sarah polley the sweet hereafter)
1999 - best actress, the end of the affair (loses to hilary swank boys don't cry)
2002 - best actress, far from heaven (loses to samantha morton morvern callar)
top 10s for the big lebowski (1998), the hours (2002), and children of men (2006)

toni collette
1995 - best actress, muriel's wedding (loses to elisabeth shue leaving las vegas)
1999 - best supporting actress, the sixth sense (loses to nicole kidman eyes wide shut)
2002 - best supporting actress, the hours (maybe, as it's a borderline cameo) (loses to catherine zeta-jones, chicago)
top 10s for about a boy (2002) and little miss sunshine (2006), top 15s for japanese story (2004) and in her shoes (2005)

naomi watts
2001 - best actress, mulholland dr. *
top 10 for the painted veil (2006), top 15 for i heart huckabees (2004)

i don't get you, edward norton

You're just trying to drive us all crazy with your movie projects aren't you? It's all payback for how much you were robbed in '96 and '98 (you didn't deserve it in '98 really, but you were worlds better than Benigni) isn't it? I'm sorry.

Best Supporting Actor.

ignore the suit.
focus on the brilliance.

Okay, so um, where are the great Supporting Actor peformances of the new millennium? Though I love my choice for the best Supporting Actor of the new millennium (Tim Robbins in Mystic River - suck itttt), I doubt he'd even make #10 on my list of the Best Supporting Actors of the 1990s. It's true, this has hindsight helping me, but think about all the incredible supporting male performances we'd had by the beginning of 1997: all the Glengarry Glen Ross boys, Anthony Hopkins in The Silence of the Lambs, Samuel L. Jackson and Bruce Willis in Pulp Fiction, Ralph Fiennes in Schindler's List, Kevin Spacey in The Usual Suspects (and Se7en - which I haven't seen, and quite frankly, which I refuse to see), Joe Pesci in Goodfellas, Edward Norton in Primal Fear and The People vs. Larry Flynt, Gene Hackman in Unforgiven, Leonardo DiCaprio in What's Eating Gilbert Grape?, Jack Lemmon in Short Cuts, Martin Landau in Ed Wood, Sean Penn in Carlito's Way, Don Cheadle in Devil in a Blue Dress...

though, if you're willing to deem the movie eligible, Jeffrey Wright and Al Pacino in Angels in America could easily go toe-to-toe with any of those performances...