AHHH. HELP.

Since seeing Atonement I have somehow been under the spell of Keira Knightley. I don't know why. I don't know how. This didn't happen when I saw Pride and Prejudice, undoubtedly the better performance. I used to just roll my eyes and go "ugh, Keira" whenever I saw pictures of her, but now I'm all like, KEIRA!

Totally pretty! Adorable outfit!

Pretty!

Pretty!

YOWZA! The eyes are weird but like, Scarlett-Johansson-level hot!
(Probably because, quite frankly, though I don't think she's anorexic, she does look better with like 10 extra pounds.)

WHAT IS GOING ON???? I don't think she's a good actress; her only good performances were in Pride and Prejudice, Atonement, and Bend It Like Beckham, and two of those were with the same director so I'm calling that a fluke. And she's not anywhere near Oscar-worthy for Bend It Like Beckham. And she still looks like she got hit by a train sometimes. I DON'T KNOW. I'm so scared.

someone please explain this thing's appeal

Yes, that's a purposefully bad picture. You're not gonna find ALL THAT MUCH better if you look online, though.

Keira Knightley. I don't think she's particularly pretty, though she can be if she really really tries. She's certainly not sexy. And here's the important thing, people: she has one really good performance. She was awesome in Pride and Prejudice, but in everything else she's been nothing better than serviceable (Bend it Like Beckham) to terrible (pretty much everything else). Look, I hope she's great in Atonement. I want someone, anyone, to kick the Blanchett's ass this year. But this chick's got massive hype and unlike the Blanchett, she hasn't done very much to deserve it (I don't wanna hear "Pirates makes a gazillion dollars blah blah blah." You know they could cast ANY actor/actress as Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann and nobody would care).

I just watched the Atonement trailer.

...for the first time. I know, I know. Wow, Keira Knightley looks really bad. And I loved her in Pride and Prejudice. Did I ever mention that one time I sat next to Ian McEwan on a sofa? No? Aren't I awesome? (Or not)