I´m not dead!

Just in Spain. :D :D :D Land of fantastic-ness, but no internet. I´ll be back for real in January, but probably pretty useless as I won´t have seen any of the big movies, dammit...

Oh how I love cracked.com.

Via them:
"[T]he Shrek franchise has always been one hell of a great time, the sort of movie you can take your parents to and all have fun watching, and this looks like no exception. If you're a Shrek-hater, there's clearly not enough actual misery in your life, and you're just picking things randomly to vent at. You need more hobbies."

Because...

Looking down this page, I realized there were only women in the pictures of the blog, and me gushing about their beauty (or in Keira's case, lack thereof). This will not do!

I want Scarlett's shoes.

And her hair. And her face wouldn't hurt either.

so

I'm off to Spain tomorrow to study abroad for a semester. I'm obviously excited. For my loyal readers (...?), I dunno about my posting schedule there, or even if the internet will work properly. If the internets is all crazy, I'll be back around January. If not, I'll try to post as much as I can...

See, I don't know why you'd ever want Keira when you could have

Her.

As a bonus, she can actually act too (yeah yeah, Keira was great in Pride and Prejudice, but I'm counting that as a fluke until I see her in Atonement)...

Please explain why anyone would think she's attractive.

At least she seems to have some sort of personality in this one and is kind of fetching. Actually, the more I look at it, the more it grows on me. Keira, see, you might actually be worth the hype I keep hearing about you if you'd just stop making that stupid face!

happy birthday Cameron Diaz!

Or maybe this was just an excuse to post this outfit which is FANTASTIC.

More stupid criticism

"If Brokeback Mountain wasn't about gays, it would have been totally ignored!"

Durrr. Everyone knows I'm not the biggest fan of Brokeback Mountain. I gave a rather maniacal giggle of joy when Jack Nicholson announced "Crash...whoah." But well, the fact that Brokeback Mountain was a gay movie, but with every cliche of a straight romance, is the entire point of the movie. It's a genius concept...but the script is so stupid and over-the-top and it's so endlessly miserable with no payoff/catharsis at all (others will disagree, but that's how I feel.) that it doesn't work.

Movies I am pretty ambivalent about

that everyone else seems to either love or despise.

I Heart Huckabees
Little Children (I err far more toward the side of positive)
Mulholland Dr.
The Terminal
Match Point
Punch-Drunk Love
Closer
The Cell

I'd like an otter, please.

His name is Odie and I am in love. (sorry, Jason)

those sort-of sexy lists

Top 10 of the '60s and '80s, prone to rapid change at any time.

1960s
1. The Graduate
2. 8 1/2
3. Belle du jour
4. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
5. Midnight Cowboy (I just rewatched this a few days ago. Wow. Those filmmakers were on drugs. Still a great movie)
6. Blow-up
7. Repulsion
8. The Apartment
9. To Kill a Mockingbird
10. La dolce vita

1980s
1. Amadeus
2. Raging Bull
3. Do the Right Thing
4. Tootsie
5. Hannah and Her Sisters
6. When Harry Met Sally...
7. Wings of Desire
8. The King of Comedy
9. The Shining
10. The Princess Bride

Let's all note that according to AFI, all of those movies except Raging Bull and Tootsie are apparently inferior to Sophie's Choice.

Random theoretical question.

So if we were lucky enough to live in a world where Kate Winslet was the one with the Oscar of the two in this above photo, and Cate Blanchett (rightfully) never had one, whose fanboys (as much as I hate that term) would be more annoying? I'm willing to bet Blanchett. Her fans are already way more so. Yeah, Winslet attracts way more psychos, but Blanchett's average fans are far more irritating; they give her nominations for any time she pops on screen (and no, I don't do that for Kate) and then deny their fanboy-ism. Dude, I'm proud to be a Kate Winslet fangirl. I wouldn't be one if I didn't think she was amazing. Just frickin' admit it already.

Also annoying: People who have Mulholland Dr. as their greatest movie of all time. Okay, it's a good movie. Those that dismiss it as utter shit or "an excuse to have David Lynch watch Naomi Watts touch herself" are d-u-m-b dumb. However, Mulholland Dr. is also one of few movies that are actually pretentious, as in it thinks it's way more important than it really is. It doesn't really say anything about Hollywood, which it's ostensibly trying to do. Also, the end just really bothers me... "it was all a dream!!!" This has been the lazy fallback of sitcoms for decades, but just cuz Lynch does it it's suddenly genius. Not to overly hate on Mulholland though. It's a B.

I have the most boring top 5 of the 90s ever.

Pulp Fiction
American Beauty
Schindler's List
Magnolia
Goodfellas

zzz. I swear I am not usually this boring. For example, you should see my top 10 of the '60s, as well as of the '80s. They're deathly sexy lists. In fact... I may post them right after this.

I have a SHAMEFUL soft spot for this movie

...much like its lead actress actually

Sarah Rose knows you're a beautiful person.
Sarah Rose knows you have an unusual talent.

Um, ew...?

http://www.fox.com/teenchoice/winners/

And I thought the MTV Movie Awards were bad. Yikes. They really like Sophia Bush don't they?

Another really stupid item of criticism

"Schindler's List shouldn't have ended the way it should have. It's so sappy!"

Okay. We live in a world rampant with people who would deny the Holocaust. In including the actual people in the film, Spielberg is, essentially, flipping these idiots the middle finger. He's saying, "This really happened." The fact that the past three hours were indeed based on truth and things the survivors went through only makes the (amazing, BTW) movie more potent.

Damn, bitch can sing.

I think if you told me that she was gonna win the Oscar in the future though, I would have asked you to hand me whatever you were smoking since it was pretty clearly potent.

oh my God, it's weird to watch Wedding Crashers

"I'm reading don't-kill-yourself books."

Resurrecting the Champ

So what the hell is that movie about? Cuz half the ads make it look like an inspirational sports movie and the other half make it look like a stalker film.