Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Ew.
Remember how much Mean Girls rocked? Well my professor spent all of class yesterday talking about how much it sucked and then holding up Heathers as an exemplary teen movie/movie in general. EW.
Dur hurrr. Durrrrrrr....
Let the Right One In subtitles made 'tarded.
Let the Right One In is really fucking awesome, by the way.
Let the Right One In is really fucking awesome, by the way.
Monday, March 30, 2009
ANTM/MMaS, really quick.
You wanna be on top?:
1. Teyona
Teyona proves that the best way to be on this photoshoot was, in fact, rather simple. Clearly, her pose is hardly dynamic, but she completely stands out among the children and whatever the hell Benny Ninja is doing in the background (LOL @ his face). The best part of this photo, however, and the reason why it’s #1, is her spectacular face here. It’s such a good angle on her face, so strong without being draggy, and there’s a real story in those eyes. I do wish she’d been a little more interesting, but seeing as the girls that tried to be interesting this week were mostly terrible…
2. Allison
I love how she manages to make herself and her pose look interesting and editorial (while not losing essential parts of her body, Natalie and Kortnie). Those clothes look amazing on her; while Allison’s face is usually pretty much the same from shoot to shoot, she totally knows how to pose and work with her body maybe the best of all the girls. She easily stands out and her pose could be either a fashion pose, or a pained one, both of which are appropriate for the shoot. Allison still needs to vary her face, even though she looks really beautiful and interesting every week.
3. Aminat
She really looks like a mother (but not old!) or an older sister aiding this gaggle of children, which was perfect for the photoshoot. Her face looks soft but still alert, there’s a beautiful wistfulness in her eyes, and like Teyona, she stands out while having a relatively simple pose. I don’t know why, but she reminds me, here, of images of Mary in many old art paintings, and that’s a REALLY GOOD THING for this shoot. I think it’s the way she’s holding her skirts. My biggest issue is that unlike Teyona, I don’t really see an energy in her pose. She looks incredibly droopy and tired, and not like, fitting in with the theme tired, but just tired tired. But it’s still a quite good picture, especially compared to a lot of others this week…
4. Natalie
Best of the MEH photos. This would have been a lot better if not for two things in the photo, because you can tell that, like Allison, she makes an active effort to be editorial and interesting in her poses every week, which she succeeds at and I give her credit for. First of all, she’s totally missing her leg and foot. I realize she propped those under her skirt, but it honestly just makes her look like she has something totally weird under her skirt. Secondly, and probably more important in the “meh” column, is her FACE. Every time I see it in close-up, I laugh, because I see some girl about to chew out the photographer for taking so long because she has a terrible headache. Or at least, that’s what it says to me, heh. But she looks beautiful, totally stands out, makes an interesting pose that works minus the vanished leg, and in the non-close-up, her face is PERFECTLY pained. But in close-up, not so much. Hah.
5. Tahlia
Like last week, not as good as the judges are saying, not as terrible as the internet would have you think. This would be one of the best photos of the week if it fit the theme at all. It’s a beautiful, strong, and interesting pose, she stands out a whole lot, her face looks absolutely gorgeous and even kinda sultry and sexy… but she looks like some friggin’ Spanish flamenco dancer, and that doesn’t go along with the whole impoverished immigrant thing at all. LOL, the two little black girls in this photo are so clearly America’s Next Top Model for Cycle 27 and 30 (cuz black girls can only win on seasons divisible by 3, SEEEEEEE). They are awesome.
6. London
I think she looks elegant and completely wistful for the life she presumably left behind as an immigrant, which is a great background to give to this photo. She absolutely nails the mood and theme of the photo. Unfortunately, she forgot the modeling part. She looks about five feet tall, her face might be wistful but she looks old and not particularly pretty, and her belly makes her look kind of pregnant and isn’t flattering at all.
7. Sandra
BOOOORING. Teyona and Aminat went for the “not a lot of action” thing, and they absolutely nailed it, in my opinion. I think it’s because they had passion in their faces, whereas Sandra just looks really dead here. I only see tired and old in her face, unfortunately. Sometimes she really works that terrible makeover, but not at all here. She looks like an old lady. She only stands out because she’s tall. I mean, it's not awful... but it's not by any means any good, either.
8. Kortnie
She looks beautiful (when she was standing there in the B2, all I could think was holy shit, she is all kinds of gorgeous, one of the prettiest girls ever on this show), welcoming, and motherly, yet her eyes still have this pain that is perfect for the shoot. So why is she juuuuust barely escaping the B2? One reason: HOLY SHIT, WHAT HAPPENED TO HER BODY HERE?!?!?!?! Seriously, from her shoulders up is all you can see. It’s totally bizarre and disconcerting. But again, the face is really good and her arms are good too… but yeahhhh. She just devolves into a blob after that!
9. Celia
I like her pose, I think it’s edgy (though Allison schools her there and shows the clothes off much better), and her face is fine if not really exciting or in agony or whatever. This is bottom two because OH MY GOD SHE DOES NOT STAND OUT AT ALL! The first time I saw this photo, I honestly thought it was mislabeled. I had to search for quite a few seconds to find her… not good at all. That sassy little girl that does stand out is clearly America’s Next Top Model Cycle 33, after the two girls in Tahlia’s photo.
10. Fo
She's my favorite and I think her photos have been too good to eliminate her at this point, but that doesn’t mean this isn’t the worst picture of the week with a bullet. Like Tahlia, she totally didn’t get the theme of the shoot and she looks like some swooningly-in-love Spanish gypsy or something. She looks incredibly short and squat and totally unmodelesque. But worst of all is her face. I maintain that her makeover did her absolutely no favors, and it’s clear here. Her face is just caught at a terrible angle, it has a weird expression, and it looks like she has sideburns. She looks hideous, when she’s one of the most beautiful girls there. Unfortunate. :(
I want it all (with shorter explanations):
1. CJ - This? Flawless. Probably the best photo I've ever seen in any MMaS in history. It's so beautiful and devastating in a way... and of course she didn't even get a mention for it.
2. Kerryn - It's beautiful and almost achingly vulnerable. The mirror ball was an extra obstacle that she had to get over and she did so marvelously.
3. Branden - I'm not crazy about his face here (it seems very "I'm so hot, check me out!") and I still think he's pedestrian, but I love his energy and almost his wistfulness.
4. Amanda - The emotion in this is beautiful and almost overwhelming. I honestly don't care that she whines about her son when she can turn it out in pictures like this. Oh, and I have no clue how this is "too sexy." Her walk this week, um, yes, DEFINITELY, but not that.
5. Jonathan - It's a little generic and there's something wonky in the eyes of his reflection, but it's frigging Jonathan. Of course what he did was basically perfect. I love how his eyes are so hurt and yet so strong all at once. SO glad he didn't get robbed of immunity THREE WEEKS IN A ROW.
6. Colin - I agree with this photo's critics that say it's not unlike an '80s CD cover or something, but the intensity in his eyes is great. I love the tension in his hands. He's definitely communicating something.
7. Salome - The emotion in this shot is stunning, but she looks absolutely ugly, unfortunately
8. Gabriel - It's very "good-looking person just standing there" but at least he looks good, unlike a lot of these other photos...
9. Shawn - For all the constipated grunting he was doing during his shoot, this was the best he could come up with? It's not offensively bad, but there's nothing there...
10. Laury - Love that body (though it makes her look terribly distorted), HATE that face.
11. Sandhurst - YAWN. Seriously, Sandhurst, step it up.
12. Mountaha - what the fuck is this? She doesn't fit the assignment at all and she looks terrible and ugly.
13. Jordan - I can tell that this bitch is never going to take a photo I like. Her face is DEAD and she looks terrible. In your own lame words Jordan, too bad, so sad.
1. Teyona
Teyona proves that the best way to be on this photoshoot was, in fact, rather simple. Clearly, her pose is hardly dynamic, but she completely stands out among the children and whatever the hell Benny Ninja is doing in the background (LOL @ his face). The best part of this photo, however, and the reason why it’s #1, is her spectacular face here. It’s such a good angle on her face, so strong without being draggy, and there’s a real story in those eyes. I do wish she’d been a little more interesting, but seeing as the girls that tried to be interesting this week were mostly terrible…
2. Allison
I love how she manages to make herself and her pose look interesting and editorial (while not losing essential parts of her body, Natalie and Kortnie). Those clothes look amazing on her; while Allison’s face is usually pretty much the same from shoot to shoot, she totally knows how to pose and work with her body maybe the best of all the girls. She easily stands out and her pose could be either a fashion pose, or a pained one, both of which are appropriate for the shoot. Allison still needs to vary her face, even though she looks really beautiful and interesting every week.
3. Aminat
She really looks like a mother (but not old!) or an older sister aiding this gaggle of children, which was perfect for the photoshoot. Her face looks soft but still alert, there’s a beautiful wistfulness in her eyes, and like Teyona, she stands out while having a relatively simple pose. I don’t know why, but she reminds me, here, of images of Mary in many old art paintings, and that’s a REALLY GOOD THING for this shoot. I think it’s the way she’s holding her skirts. My biggest issue is that unlike Teyona, I don’t really see an energy in her pose. She looks incredibly droopy and tired, and not like, fitting in with the theme tired, but just tired tired. But it’s still a quite good picture, especially compared to a lot of others this week…
4. Natalie
Best of the MEH photos. This would have been a lot better if not for two things in the photo, because you can tell that, like Allison, she makes an active effort to be editorial and interesting in her poses every week, which she succeeds at and I give her credit for. First of all, she’s totally missing her leg and foot. I realize she propped those under her skirt, but it honestly just makes her look like she has something totally weird under her skirt. Secondly, and probably more important in the “meh” column, is her FACE. Every time I see it in close-up, I laugh, because I see some girl about to chew out the photographer for taking so long because she has a terrible headache. Or at least, that’s what it says to me, heh. But she looks beautiful, totally stands out, makes an interesting pose that works minus the vanished leg, and in the non-close-up, her face is PERFECTLY pained. But in close-up, not so much. Hah.
5. Tahlia
Like last week, not as good as the judges are saying, not as terrible as the internet would have you think. This would be one of the best photos of the week if it fit the theme at all. It’s a beautiful, strong, and interesting pose, she stands out a whole lot, her face looks absolutely gorgeous and even kinda sultry and sexy… but she looks like some friggin’ Spanish flamenco dancer, and that doesn’t go along with the whole impoverished immigrant thing at all. LOL, the two little black girls in this photo are so clearly America’s Next Top Model for Cycle 27 and 30 (cuz black girls can only win on seasons divisible by 3, SEEEEEEE). They are awesome.
6. London
I think she looks elegant and completely wistful for the life she presumably left behind as an immigrant, which is a great background to give to this photo. She absolutely nails the mood and theme of the photo. Unfortunately, she forgot the modeling part. She looks about five feet tall, her face might be wistful but she looks old and not particularly pretty, and her belly makes her look kind of pregnant and isn’t flattering at all.
7. Sandra
BOOOORING. Teyona and Aminat went for the “not a lot of action” thing, and they absolutely nailed it, in my opinion. I think it’s because they had passion in their faces, whereas Sandra just looks really dead here. I only see tired and old in her face, unfortunately. Sometimes she really works that terrible makeover, but not at all here. She looks like an old lady. She only stands out because she’s tall. I mean, it's not awful... but it's not by any means any good, either.
8. Kortnie
She looks beautiful (when she was standing there in the B2, all I could think was holy shit, she is all kinds of gorgeous, one of the prettiest girls ever on this show), welcoming, and motherly, yet her eyes still have this pain that is perfect for the shoot. So why is she juuuuust barely escaping the B2? One reason: HOLY SHIT, WHAT HAPPENED TO HER BODY HERE?!?!?!?! Seriously, from her shoulders up is all you can see. It’s totally bizarre and disconcerting. But again, the face is really good and her arms are good too… but yeahhhh. She just devolves into a blob after that!
9. Celia
I like her pose, I think it’s edgy (though Allison schools her there and shows the clothes off much better), and her face is fine if not really exciting or in agony or whatever. This is bottom two because OH MY GOD SHE DOES NOT STAND OUT AT ALL! The first time I saw this photo, I honestly thought it was mislabeled. I had to search for quite a few seconds to find her… not good at all. That sassy little girl that does stand out is clearly America’s Next Top Model Cycle 33, after the two girls in Tahlia’s photo.
10. Fo
She's my favorite and I think her photos have been too good to eliminate her at this point, but that doesn’t mean this isn’t the worst picture of the week with a bullet. Like Tahlia, she totally didn’t get the theme of the shoot and she looks like some swooningly-in-love Spanish gypsy or something. She looks incredibly short and squat and totally unmodelesque. But worst of all is her face. I maintain that her makeover did her absolutely no favors, and it’s clear here. Her face is just caught at a terrible angle, it has a weird expression, and it looks like she has sideburns. She looks hideous, when she’s one of the most beautiful girls there. Unfortunate. :(
I want it all (with shorter explanations):
1. CJ - This? Flawless. Probably the best photo I've ever seen in any MMaS in history. It's so beautiful and devastating in a way... and of course she didn't even get a mention for it.
2. Kerryn - It's beautiful and almost achingly vulnerable. The mirror ball was an extra obstacle that she had to get over and she did so marvelously.
3. Branden - I'm not crazy about his face here (it seems very "I'm so hot, check me out!") and I still think he's pedestrian, but I love his energy and almost his wistfulness.
4. Amanda - The emotion in this is beautiful and almost overwhelming. I honestly don't care that she whines about her son when she can turn it out in pictures like this. Oh, and I have no clue how this is "too sexy." Her walk this week, um, yes, DEFINITELY, but not that.
5. Jonathan - It's a little generic and there's something wonky in the eyes of his reflection, but it's frigging Jonathan. Of course what he did was basically perfect. I love how his eyes are so hurt and yet so strong all at once. SO glad he didn't get robbed of immunity THREE WEEKS IN A ROW.
6. Colin - I agree with this photo's critics that say it's not unlike an '80s CD cover or something, but the intensity in his eyes is great. I love the tension in his hands. He's definitely communicating something.
7. Salome - The emotion in this shot is stunning, but she looks absolutely ugly, unfortunately
8. Gabriel - It's very "good-looking person just standing there" but at least he looks good, unlike a lot of these other photos...
9. Shawn - For all the constipated grunting he was doing during his shoot, this was the best he could come up with? It's not offensively bad, but there's nothing there...
10. Laury - Love that body (though it makes her look terribly distorted), HATE that face.
11. Sandhurst - YAWN. Seriously, Sandhurst, step it up.
12. Mountaha - what the fuck is this? She doesn't fit the assignment at all and she looks terrible and ugly.
13. Jordan - I can tell that this bitch is never going to take a photo I like. Her face is DEAD and she looks terrible. In your own lame words Jordan, too bad, so sad.
I just had to rewatch Mean Girls for a class and...
Holy CRAP. It really is a great movie, not just a super super funny one. It's written really really sharply - I mean, people in my generation are going to be quoting it for years - and it has a message without being treacley (I don't think I spelled that right) or preachy about it. I'd go watch it again, if it wasn't 2:03 AM already and I didn't have a 9 AM class...
Friday, March 27, 2009
I think I'll always love "Two Weeks" for...
the Graduate reference.
I dunno how I feel about Pam leaving yet. I've done a lot of defending Pam this season, but I'm NOT one of her insane super fans that believe every episode should be dedicated to her Development And Growth, so I really don't see why she needs ANOTHER "oh she's leaving so she can ~find herself~" sideplot. Writers, can you give Jim something to do other than moon over Pam, not that I really mind? In many ways, the writers of this show did write themselves into a corner when it comes to Jim and Pam's career choices. They can't stay at Dunder-Mifflin because honestly, that'd be so depressing (if realistic) and they can't leave because then... Jim and Pam are gonna be gone. I mean, I'm already gonna miss "Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam."
I have no doubt that Pam and Michael will be back, though. Maybe not until the finale, maybe not until next season's season premiere, but they'll be back. If, however, Pam comes back as a receptionist... then her leaving will be for nothing, and it'll just be to shake things up. Which I mean, is all well and good, but she already left. I'd love to see her come back doing sales or something else.
I do want Pam to end up doing something in the arts. If she's been discouraged from them forever because of Pratt, I'll be depressed. I don't think her dream is to be a saleswoman either, she just wants something different, and that's fine. She'll realize that soon. I just hope she doesn't come back as the receptionist again, but I don't really want her in sales either. I'm... not sure what I want for her in Dunder-Mifflin, really. Again, I think the writers may have painted themselves into a corner here, but I think they can get themselves out of it. Unlike everyone on the internet, but indeed like the ~8 million people who watch this show every week, I do have faith in them. :)
I do LOOOOVE Pam and Michael together, so I'm excited about that. Hah, she sees his "dangling participle" again next week. Oh, and of course, because this is S5, it's not a clever callback, it's the writers "copying what they did in S4." GIANT EYEROLL. Seriously, quit it with the fucking misery and just stop watching if you hate the show so much now. Come back for S6 or whatever. As I said above, there's ~8 million people who disagree with you, princesses.
I do have one major complaint. Charles Miner? Kindly GTFO. Sucks ALL the funny out of EVERY scene. Idris Elba is certainly a fine actor but comedy is not his forte. I'm gonna throw a party when this guy inevitably gets fired or whatever and is off the show.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
LOL...
Thanks, Canada, for this ad. After all, tonight, we learned that the only difference between America and Canada is that in Canada, they say "eh" (thanks Amanda on MMaS), but apparently they have different Office promos too.
I think this one's really going to be a game-changer :D, but I won't be able to watch it "live" ;_;
Crazy night on both modeling shows...
ANTM: OMG ~DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAA~. Celia, way to prove you're a dumbass.
MMaS: LMAO, that catwalk theme. Oh, and MY BB COLIN. I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU THERE. Can't wait to see him suited up next weekbecause I have a major sailor... errr, I guess you'd say fetish, yeah, and just... OH MY. Like, the male equivalent of a sexy librarian in a sailor uniform? You have no idea what the idea of that does for me. Um, TMI alert!!!!! because it's a good photoshoot theme (nods lamely, please don't pay attention to the text behind the strike *innocent whistling*)
More later/much later.
MMaS: LMAO, that catwalk theme. Oh, and MY BB COLIN. I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU THERE. Can't wait to see him suited up next week
More later/much later.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Friday Night Lights
I had to watch this movie for a class, and it was quite good. I love how it managed to string together a bunch of whiny, borderline bratty kids and make them all sympathetic... not to mention, the characterization was really strong.
The best part, though, was the screen at the very end. :) I love how the entire movie is about them desperately trying to win a championship, they have heartbreaking losses and come just short, and then we find out the year after... they win the championship, undefeated. Nice touch.
The best part, though, was the screen at the very end. :) I love how the entire movie is about them desperately trying to win a championship, they have heartbreaking losses and come just short, and then we find out the year after... they win the championship, undefeated. Nice touch.
Blago on the radio.
A 7-9 AM radio spot is a fucking valuable thing. You don't just give it away for nothing.
(Haha, it looks like he's wearing a dumb helmet.)
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
she's still awesome...
Piece of Analeigh.
Is she stuck doing Subway commercials? Eh, not like that's terrible, I'd be happy for any job in this economy, but Analeigh is so much better than that.
Is she stuck doing Subway commercials? Eh, not like that's terrible, I'd be happy for any job in this economy, but Analeigh is so much better than that.
Monday, March 23, 2009
huh.
So according to one of the actors on The Office, during the season finale we're going to find out the answers to some old questions. Um, does this mean we're finally bustin' open Jim's old Christmas card?
Sunday, March 22, 2009
New BAAAAAAWWWWWWs
GOOD LORD COULD THAT EPISODE HAVE BEEN ANY MORE DEPRESSING? I saw some whiny comment on a message board that was like, "BAWWWWW dear Office writers, when you start to care about your show again, I'll care about it again too, BAWWWWWWWWWWWWW why don't you cater to my every need?!?!?!" and I was like, ho, are you tripping? Oh, I'm sorry every episode doesn't revolve around Jim and Pam, princess. I understand people having issues with the episode, but that's like, the opposite issue of that episode; it cared about Michael too much as opposed to not caring at all. It's not my fault that everyone in the Office-verse, or at least on this one forum I read, cries like a baby whenever Jim and Pam and Serious Discussions About Their Relationship don't take up 95% of the episode.
It's definitely in the lower half of the season, but that's really not saying much because the only episode I flat-out didn't like and have no desire to rewatch is "Employee Transfer." I'd give "New Boss" a B or so, maybe a B+, just because I do need some funny and there were, like, two instances of it in that episode... but anyway. Still better than almost anything else on television. Idris Elba is a good actor, but the last Wire hire on The Office, obviously the wonderful Amy Ryan, added joy and humor to every scene she was in. Elba is like... um... the opposite of that. He's a big ol' vacuum at this point. I hope they make his character more interesting or somewhat humorous or something.
I was proud that they wrote Jim's character as stumbling while NOT TURNING HIM INTO MICHAEL, YAY. I think he was incredibly overwhelmed by how much Charles didn't like him, and how he couldn't charm Charles in any way, and I say: good. There are people who just don't like other people for no reason. It's a part of life, and just because some creepy soccer moms on a message board like to fantasize excessively about John Krasinski (who, don't get me wrong, I adore) and write odes to his package doesn't mean Jim is a perfect guy. It's written well and Krasinski's playing it exactly right.
Along that line, many, many people are bitching about the ARM thing but I saw that as Charles not necessarily being informed about it and then just lashing out at Jim. I've seen continuity errors up the wazoo on this show (Pam's art school for "three months" somehow turned into half a year, Meredith's birthday changed from April to November...), but that wasn't one of them.
Pam talking about cupcakes and strippers and Andy in orange made me laugh probably waaaay more than it should have. Oh, and the cold open. Classy. Hee!
Ugh, I can't believe Michael's going to quit. ;_; I love him. My heart always goes out to him, maybe even more than Jim and Pam.
In conclusion, internet, stop BAAWWWWWWWing. I always think the purpose of forums is to bring together people who love a certain thing (or at least, have a certain interest), but lately, there seems to be a real lack of love for The Office and I can't really read anywhere. The ratings for the show haven't dropped like what happened when Heroes turned from amazing to actually shittacular (as opposed to the way people whine about The Office, while the show's still really good), so what does that say about how most people perceive the show? Hmm. Think about it. Yeah, I know ratings aren't the be-all-end-all, look at Two and a Half Men, but The Office is kind of cult and if people didn't like it, they'd stop watching it.
It's definitely in the lower half of the season, but that's really not saying much because the only episode I flat-out didn't like and have no desire to rewatch is "Employee Transfer." I'd give "New Boss" a B or so, maybe a B+, just because I do need some funny and there were, like, two instances of it in that episode... but anyway. Still better than almost anything else on television. Idris Elba is a good actor, but the last Wire hire on The Office, obviously the wonderful Amy Ryan, added joy and humor to every scene she was in. Elba is like... um... the opposite of that. He's a big ol' vacuum at this point. I hope they make his character more interesting or somewhat humorous or something.
I was proud that they wrote Jim's character as stumbling while NOT TURNING HIM INTO MICHAEL, YAY. I think he was incredibly overwhelmed by how much Charles didn't like him, and how he couldn't charm Charles in any way, and I say: good. There are people who just don't like other people for no reason. It's a part of life, and just because some creepy soccer moms on a message board like to fantasize excessively about John Krasinski (who, don't get me wrong, I adore) and write odes to his package doesn't mean Jim is a perfect guy. It's written well and Krasinski's playing it exactly right.
Along that line, many, many people are bitching about the ARM thing but I saw that as Charles not necessarily being informed about it and then just lashing out at Jim. I've seen continuity errors up the wazoo on this show (Pam's art school for "three months" somehow turned into half a year, Meredith's birthday changed from April to November...), but that wasn't one of them.
Pam talking about cupcakes and strippers and Andy in orange made me laugh probably waaaay more than it should have. Oh, and the cold open. Classy. Hee!
Ugh, I can't believe Michael's going to quit. ;_; I love him. My heart always goes out to him, maybe even more than Jim and Pam.
In conclusion, internet, stop BAAWWWWWWWing. I always think the purpose of forums is to bring together people who love a certain thing (or at least, have a certain interest), but lately, there seems to be a real lack of love for The Office and I can't really read anywhere. The ratings for the show haven't dropped like what happened when Heroes turned from amazing to actually shittacular (as opposed to the way people whine about The Office, while the show's still really good), so what does that say about how most people perceive the show? Hmm. Think about it. Yeah, I know ratings aren't the be-all-end-all, look at Two and a Half Men, but The Office is kind of cult and if people didn't like it, they'd stop watching it.
MMaS... and not a minute too late!
Amanda: Beautiful. Can't believe she's a mom, her body is way too insane for that.
Branden: Grows on me by the episode. I still don't get this whole "OMG HE DESERVES TO WIN, HE IS SUCH A MODEL." Not really. He has a scrunched-up face and a terrible walk and he's too tall. He doesn't look "fresh" either.
CJ: Yeah, I definitely feel sorry for her now. Okay, she's negative, she's not running around tearing everyone else down. She's not really a bitch, just a really negative person. Honestly, at this point I'm hoping she makes F4 or whatever over that passive-aggressive bitch Jordan, and a bunch of these other hos. I mean, really, when Colin is all snarky about you ("she's a wet noodle in a harness!") things have gone too far. She's beautiful and she takes good pictures, and she had the right attitude the first week. She just needs to get it back.
Colin: Gets more perfect by the week. LOVE. Don't let Kerryn seduce you if you don't want it, bb.
Gabriel: UGH, SO GORGEOUS. It's nice to know that, due to people screencapping the seasonwide previews they keep showing, he doesn't screw up badly enough next week to be kicked out, as he lasts until the military shoot at least. Beautiful but like CJ, his attitude is all wrong. Fortunately, I won't mind looking at him for as long as he sticks around, though I don't think it'll be for much longer...
Jonathan: Ummmmmm, robbed of the win two weeks in a row, WTF.
Jordan: Bitch. Obnoxious stealth bitch. Not half as hot as she thinks she is and she actually needs to gain weight so her hips don't look enormous. She's not the best and definitely not the most interesting girl there. I do like her "I'll-smile-while-I-shiv-you" relationship with Sandhurst.
Karen: I feel terribly for her, especially when she started crying after they told Gabriel he was safe, but yeah, she wasn't a model. She looked permanently caught in the headlights
Kerryn: Minus her borderline sexual harassment of Colin, I really like the glimpses of her personality that we do see. She seems sweet and she's battling her insecurities in a positive way. Don't think she deserved the win, though, but her walk was all kinds of hot, even if she does need to tone up (eh, all the girls do).
Laury: Meh. Her face is so much worse than Karen's. At least Karen was pretty, even if she had "crazy eyes" syndrome. Laury is just straight-up hideous.
Mountaha: I think she's going to go quite far but so far she hasn't made much of an impression. Her face is looking better when caught by film, so at least that's an improvement...
Salome: Yeah, she screwed up pretty hardcore this week. Her photo and her runway blew and honestly, if I was basing it on just this week alone, she'd be going home. But she's got so much more potential than all the other girls and she has done terrific in the past, and I know she'll do terrific again in the future.
Sandhurst: Supermodel and a superstar. He's too good for this competition and I fear they'll boot him the first week he does merely "good" as opposed to outstanding. That said, his photo this week IS a little overrated... but it might just be the weird proportions in the photo.
Shawn: He's such a sweetie, but I don't think he's going to last much longer.
Group photos in the order I'd call them out (LOL, terrible photoshoot):
1. Colin & Branden, NO CONTEST
2. Laury, Amanda, & Kerryn
3. CJ, Jonathan, & Gabriel
4. Sandhurst, Jordan, & Karen *
5. Salome, Shawn, & Mountaha
And as individuals:
ACTUALLY GOOD
1. Colin (MY BB I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT)
2. Branden (a close second)
3. Jonathan (a little cartoonish but overall really good)
PRETTY GOOD
4. Kerryn (on second glance, very cute)
5. Amanda (the face is a little overboard but in a week when so many screwed up so bad...)
6. Laury (it's a saaaaad week when this is #6, but it is)
7. Sandhurst (it looks so weird, but it is graceful and shows a sense of athleticism)
EH, OK to PRETTY DARN BAD
8. Shawn (with a lot more in the face, this could have been one of the best of the week)
9. Mountaha (see above... but I'm not sure if she can handle more in the face)
10. Karen (see above... again...)
COMICALLY BAD
11. Gabriel (unintentionally funny much?!)
12. Jordan (God, could this BE more boring? I wonder if she'll ever take a photo I like)
13. CJ (OH LORD. I blame this on the photographer but this is not flattering in any way, she looks like a dwarf)
14. Salome (um... at least CJ's face wasn't at a weird angle)
Next week better be a better photoshoot than this crap, you hear me?
* This one is hilariously out-of-proportion, Sandhurst looks like twice as tall as the girls do.
Branden: Grows on me by the episode. I still don't get this whole "OMG HE DESERVES TO WIN, HE IS SUCH A MODEL." Not really. He has a scrunched-up face and a terrible walk and he's too tall. He doesn't look "fresh" either.
CJ: Yeah, I definitely feel sorry for her now. Okay, she's negative, she's not running around tearing everyone else down. She's not really a bitch, just a really negative person. Honestly, at this point I'm hoping she makes F4 or whatever over that passive-aggressive bitch Jordan, and a bunch of these other hos. I mean, really, when Colin is all snarky about you ("she's a wet noodle in a harness!") things have gone too far. She's beautiful and she takes good pictures, and she had the right attitude the first week. She just needs to get it back.
Colin: Gets more perfect by the week. LOVE. Don't let Kerryn seduce you if you don't want it, bb.
Gabriel: UGH, SO GORGEOUS. It's nice to know that, due to people screencapping the seasonwide previews they keep showing, he doesn't screw up badly enough next week to be kicked out, as he lasts until the military shoot at least. Beautiful but like CJ, his attitude is all wrong. Fortunately, I won't mind looking at him for as long as he sticks around, though I don't think it'll be for much longer...
Jonathan: Ummmmmm, robbed of the win two weeks in a row, WTF.
Jordan: Bitch. Obnoxious stealth bitch. Not half as hot as she thinks she is and she actually needs to gain weight so her hips don't look enormous. She's not the best and definitely not the most interesting girl there. I do like her "I'll-smile-while-I-shiv-you" relationship with Sandhurst.
Karen: I feel terribly for her, especially when she started crying after they told Gabriel he was safe, but yeah, she wasn't a model. She looked permanently caught in the headlights
Kerryn: Minus her borderline sexual harassment of Colin, I really like the glimpses of her personality that we do see. She seems sweet and she's battling her insecurities in a positive way. Don't think she deserved the win, though, but her walk was all kinds of hot, even if she does need to tone up (eh, all the girls do).
Laury: Meh. Her face is so much worse than Karen's. At least Karen was pretty, even if she had "crazy eyes" syndrome. Laury is just straight-up hideous.
Mountaha: I think she's going to go quite far but so far she hasn't made much of an impression. Her face is looking better when caught by film, so at least that's an improvement...
Salome: Yeah, she screwed up pretty hardcore this week. Her photo and her runway blew and honestly, if I was basing it on just this week alone, she'd be going home. But she's got so much more potential than all the other girls and she has done terrific in the past, and I know she'll do terrific again in the future.
Sandhurst: Supermodel and a superstar. He's too good for this competition and I fear they'll boot him the first week he does merely "good" as opposed to outstanding. That said, his photo this week IS a little overrated... but it might just be the weird proportions in the photo.
Shawn: He's such a sweetie, but I don't think he's going to last much longer.
Group photos in the order I'd call them out (LOL, terrible photoshoot):
1. Colin & Branden, NO CONTEST
2. Laury, Amanda, & Kerryn
3. CJ, Jonathan, & Gabriel
4. Sandhurst, Jordan, & Karen *
5. Salome, Shawn, & Mountaha
And as individuals:
ACTUALLY GOOD
1. Colin (MY BB I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT)
2. Branden (a close second)
3. Jonathan (a little cartoonish but overall really good)
PRETTY GOOD
4. Kerryn (on second glance, very cute)
5. Amanda (the face is a little overboard but in a week when so many screwed up so bad...)
6. Laury (it's a saaaaad week when this is #6, but it is)
7. Sandhurst (it looks so weird, but it is graceful and shows a sense of athleticism)
EH, OK to PRETTY DARN BAD
8. Shawn (with a lot more in the face, this could have been one of the best of the week)
9. Mountaha (see above... but I'm not sure if she can handle more in the face)
10. Karen (see above... again...)
COMICALLY BAD
11. Gabriel (unintentionally funny much?!)
12. Jordan (God, could this BE more boring? I wonder if she'll ever take a photo I like)
13. CJ (OH LORD. I blame this on the photographer but this is not flattering in any way, she looks like a dwarf)
14. Salome (um... at least CJ's face wasn't at a weird angle)
Next week better be a better photoshoot than this crap, you hear me?
* This one is hilariously out-of-proportion, Sandhurst looks like twice as tall as the girls do.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
America's Next Top Model Episode 3
Group photos, in the order I would have called them out and for reference here:
1. Sandra & Celia
2. Allison & London
3. Fo & Aminat
4. Tahlia, Natalie, Teyona
5. Nijah & Kortnie
And my individual call-outs:
1. Fo
I really like this Fo-to ;). My only issue with it is that she looks short, but then again almost all the girls looked short in this photoshoot because they got cut off at the knees. I mean, Fo totally embodies her character, but in addition she comes off as extremely modelesque and beautiful. This is especially impressive when you consider how many props this girl is juggling in the photo! She totally outshines Aminat. It’s not GREAT great but eh, none of these photos were.
2. Sandra
This is probably a better photo than Fo’s but when you consider the quality of the photo plus the idea they were trying to get across, Fo comes out on top. Sandra’s is still a spectacular photo and, combined with Celia and the background here, it’s actually kind of editorial. Weird. There isn’t a hint of “nanny” here but she looks so spectacularly beautiful and her pose is so modelesque and incredibly regal. Finally, we’re seeing some of the promise she had in her promo photo. I like how the photo tells a story. Albeit, not a story of a nanny, haha.
3. London
This photo is very underrated, I think. London is really a chameleon, in that she looks different in every photo, which is in itself completely different from the way she looks in real life, and she almost always looks really good, with last week and her promo shot being exceptions. She looks really modelesque at what could be kind of a weird angle on her face, and she perfectly nails the “frenemies” idea that Allison and London said they were going for at panel. I love the way she “owns” the bags in the photo. Like Fo she has a lot of props, but also like Fo she uses them to add to the character and isn’t controlled by her props.
4. Natalie
This picture as a whole sucks, but she definitely stands out the most and is the best in it. I know the judges accused her of looking fake, but I don’t see that. I see her trying to be modelesque when she was given an assignment that was inherently non-modelesque, consisting of goggling up at the sky with her mouth open. Lames… But anyway, Natalie looks pretty, stands out, and shows off the clothes very well, and I think she expresses real joy without looking retarded.
5. Celia
Like I said when I discussed Sandra’s photo, the photo overall is beautiful, haunting, and even somewhat editorial. Celia’s pose is very interesting without being weird, and her face looks absolutely gorgeous. Gorgeous! Celia! She’s only this low because Sandra outshines her in every single way in this shot. LOL @ her being “cropped out” when they display this photo in the apartment next week, poor Celia. :( I think the photo needs both of them to be so good, so I’m interested to see what this photo looks like without Celia in it…
6. Aminat
Yeah, it’s her best picture so far, but that’s really not saying much. I love Aminat, but she’s really letting me down when it comes to her photos. I like how she holds her body and the energy in her pose, but it’s not a really great photo. Everything in it conspires to make her look short, but it’s really her face that brings her down. It’s just so squished and weird-looking. It’s something about her lips and the squinted eyes combined. I mean, it’s not terrible. It’s just blah.
7. Nijah
Not really any good, but not at all boot-worthy either, really. Okay, she’s just standing there and there isn’t very much creativity, but other than that it’s a pretty good photo. She holds her prop in a prominent place, she shows off her clothes well, and she looks gorgeous even with the heavy makeup and the kind of strange angle on her face. Her eyes are piercing, and not in a horrible way unlike the thing that’s next to her in this photo. I think she’s connecting with the viewer, and for that alone she didn’t deserve to be in the B2, let alone get eliminated. But she needed more energy and innovation.
8. Allison
Well, it’s not bad; the bottom two are kind of in a class of badness all by their own. But it’s certainly not very good, and a major step down from her other two photos. There’s so much to work with here, and she just kind of defaults into blank googly-eyed girl mode. Her face doesn’t look that good (the stupid hat doesn’t help) and her mouth is all snarly. It almost looks like she’s rolling her eyes as well. She is showing off the clothes beautifully, though, and let’s face it, she’s a model just standing there.
9. Tahlia
It’s certainly not as good as the judges said and it’s certainly not as bad as the internet seems to think. Yeah, you don’t like Tahlia, she killed your dog and your entire family, we know already, get over it. I like her enthusiasm here and I think she’s standing out, and she’s really darn cute. The emotion on her face is genuine. Unfortunately, it seems kind of low energy and her face is caught at a terrible angle where she looks all squinty-eyed (though still happy). She looks plus-size. I don’t think Tahlia’s much of a model, but everyone seriously needs to calm the fuck down about her.
10. Teyona
Sorry, Teyona, this photo isn’t very good at all. You don’t stand out whatsoever, and, I mean, you’re being outshone by Tahlia. The worst part about this photo, though, is her face (which is the only thing we can see, because Natalie’s right in front of her). Oh my GOD, that is the worst angle EVARRRRR. It’s seriously almost frightening how bad she looks. Her eyes have totally disappeared, it looks like she’s bald, and nobody should have to look into that maw of a mouth. Her pose and face comes off as cheesy and fake. Sorry, Teyona. You usually rock. Do better next week… but I’m sure you will.
11. Kortnie
I hate this photo and I don’t know why the judges seemed to like it. She’s not showing any kind of personality, and nothing to me indicates that she would be an artist or a muse or anything. She’s got all the energy, creativity, and enthusiasm that Nijah did, which is to say like none at all. Worse, though, it’s just overall a really really really terrible photo. The best thing I can say is that she looks kinda like Katarzyna, and Katarzyna was really pretty, but this would be Katarzyna caught in a really, really, really ugly moment. She looks like some kind of heaving monster, and she’s cross-eyed. God, her eyes and mouth are SO BAD HERE. Her pose is so boring and she’s almost HIDING the prop that shows she’s an artist. Terrible. Sorry Kortnie, I liked you and was rooting for you before this, but now… just turn it out next week, okay? Oh, one good thing I will say, she does not look plus-size AT. ALL.
Call-out averages:
Allison 6/2/8 = 5.33
Aminat 10/11/6 = 9
Celia 8/4/5 = 5.67
Fo 2/5/1 = 2.67
Isabella 13 = 13
Jessica 11/10 = 10.5
Kortnie 7/7/11 = 8.33
London 1/9/3 = 4.33
Natalie 5/3/4 = 4
Nijah 4/8/7 = 6.33
Sandra 12/6/2 = 6.67
Tahlia 9/12/9 = 10
Teyona 3/1/10 = 4.67
Yay Fo, and it's weird that Natalie has the second-highest callout average. I think she's... like... meh. Okay, not great.
Make Me a Supermodel probably tomorrow.
1. Sandra & Celia
2. Allison & London
3. Fo & Aminat
4. Tahlia, Natalie, Teyona
5. Nijah & Kortnie
And my individual call-outs:
1. Fo
I really like this Fo-to ;). My only issue with it is that she looks short, but then again almost all the girls looked short in this photoshoot because they got cut off at the knees. I mean, Fo totally embodies her character, but in addition she comes off as extremely modelesque and beautiful. This is especially impressive when you consider how many props this girl is juggling in the photo! She totally outshines Aminat. It’s not GREAT great but eh, none of these photos were.
2. Sandra
This is probably a better photo than Fo’s but when you consider the quality of the photo plus the idea they were trying to get across, Fo comes out on top. Sandra’s is still a spectacular photo and, combined with Celia and the background here, it’s actually kind of editorial. Weird. There isn’t a hint of “nanny” here but she looks so spectacularly beautiful and her pose is so modelesque and incredibly regal. Finally, we’re seeing some of the promise she had in her promo photo. I like how the photo tells a story. Albeit, not a story of a nanny, haha.
3. London
This photo is very underrated, I think. London is really a chameleon, in that she looks different in every photo, which is in itself completely different from the way she looks in real life, and she almost always looks really good, with last week and her promo shot being exceptions. She looks really modelesque at what could be kind of a weird angle on her face, and she perfectly nails the “frenemies” idea that Allison and London said they were going for at panel. I love the way she “owns” the bags in the photo. Like Fo she has a lot of props, but also like Fo she uses them to add to the character and isn’t controlled by her props.
4. Natalie
This picture as a whole sucks, but she definitely stands out the most and is the best in it. I know the judges accused her of looking fake, but I don’t see that. I see her trying to be modelesque when she was given an assignment that was inherently non-modelesque, consisting of goggling up at the sky with her mouth open. Lames… But anyway, Natalie looks pretty, stands out, and shows off the clothes very well, and I think she expresses real joy without looking retarded.
5. Celia
Like I said when I discussed Sandra’s photo, the photo overall is beautiful, haunting, and even somewhat editorial. Celia’s pose is very interesting without being weird, and her face looks absolutely gorgeous. Gorgeous! Celia! She’s only this low because Sandra outshines her in every single way in this shot. LOL @ her being “cropped out” when they display this photo in the apartment next week, poor Celia. :( I think the photo needs both of them to be so good, so I’m interested to see what this photo looks like without Celia in it…
6. Aminat
Yeah, it’s her best picture so far, but that’s really not saying much. I love Aminat, but she’s really letting me down when it comes to her photos. I like how she holds her body and the energy in her pose, but it’s not a really great photo. Everything in it conspires to make her look short, but it’s really her face that brings her down. It’s just so squished and weird-looking. It’s something about her lips and the squinted eyes combined. I mean, it’s not terrible. It’s just blah.
7. Nijah
Not really any good, but not at all boot-worthy either, really. Okay, she’s just standing there and there isn’t very much creativity, but other than that it’s a pretty good photo. She holds her prop in a prominent place, she shows off her clothes well, and she looks gorgeous even with the heavy makeup and the kind of strange angle on her face. Her eyes are piercing, and not in a horrible way unlike the thing that’s next to her in this photo. I think she’s connecting with the viewer, and for that alone she didn’t deserve to be in the B2, let alone get eliminated. But she needed more energy and innovation.
8. Allison
Well, it’s not bad; the bottom two are kind of in a class of badness all by their own. But it’s certainly not very good, and a major step down from her other two photos. There’s so much to work with here, and she just kind of defaults into blank googly-eyed girl mode. Her face doesn’t look that good (the stupid hat doesn’t help) and her mouth is all snarly. It almost looks like she’s rolling her eyes as well. She is showing off the clothes beautifully, though, and let’s face it, she’s a model just standing there.
9. Tahlia
It’s certainly not as good as the judges said and it’s certainly not as bad as the internet seems to think. Yeah, you don’t like Tahlia, she killed your dog and your entire family, we know already, get over it. I like her enthusiasm here and I think she’s standing out, and she’s really darn cute. The emotion on her face is genuine. Unfortunately, it seems kind of low energy and her face is caught at a terrible angle where she looks all squinty-eyed (though still happy). She looks plus-size. I don’t think Tahlia’s much of a model, but everyone seriously needs to calm the fuck down about her.
10. Teyona
Sorry, Teyona, this photo isn’t very good at all. You don’t stand out whatsoever, and, I mean, you’re being outshone by Tahlia. The worst part about this photo, though, is her face (which is the only thing we can see, because Natalie’s right in front of her). Oh my GOD, that is the worst angle EVARRRRR. It’s seriously almost frightening how bad she looks. Her eyes have totally disappeared, it looks like she’s bald, and nobody should have to look into that maw of a mouth. Her pose and face comes off as cheesy and fake. Sorry, Teyona. You usually rock. Do better next week… but I’m sure you will.
11. Kortnie
I hate this photo and I don’t know why the judges seemed to like it. She’s not showing any kind of personality, and nothing to me indicates that she would be an artist or a muse or anything. She’s got all the energy, creativity, and enthusiasm that Nijah did, which is to say like none at all. Worse, though, it’s just overall a really really really terrible photo. The best thing I can say is that she looks kinda like Katarzyna, and Katarzyna was really pretty, but this would be Katarzyna caught in a really, really, really ugly moment. She looks like some kind of heaving monster, and she’s cross-eyed. God, her eyes and mouth are SO BAD HERE. Her pose is so boring and she’s almost HIDING the prop that shows she’s an artist. Terrible. Sorry Kortnie, I liked you and was rooting for you before this, but now… just turn it out next week, okay? Oh, one good thing I will say, she does not look plus-size AT. ALL.
Call-out averages:
Allison 6/2/8 = 5.33
Aminat 10/11/6 = 9
Celia 8/4/5 = 5.67
Fo 2/5/1 = 2.67
Isabella 13 = 13
Jessica 11/10 = 10.5
Kortnie 7/7/11 = 8.33
London 1/9/3 = 4.33
Natalie 5/3/4 = 4
Nijah 4/8/7 = 6.33
Sandra 12/6/2 = 6.67
Tahlia 9/12/9 = 10
Teyona 3/1/10 = 4.67
Yay Fo, and it's weird that Natalie has the second-highest callout average. I think she's... like... meh. Okay, not great.
Make Me a Supermodel probably tomorrow.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Yeah, I felt way worse for Sarah Marshall than that guy. Neither was a good person and they both did really bad things to/for the other, but you know what? In the end, she got called "the goddamn devil" while she was sucking that guy off. Just saying.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Here's what I have to say to everyone about The Office lately.
Comic Book Guy: Last night's Itchy & Scratchy was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured I was on the Internet within minutes registering my disgust throughout the world.
Bart: Hey, I know it wasn’t great, but what right do you have to complain?
Comic Book Guy: As a loyal viewer, I feel they owe me.
Bart: What? They’re giving you thousands of hours of entertainment for free. What could they possibly owe you? If anything, you owe them.
Comic Book Guy: [hesitantly] ...Worst episode ever.
The thing is, the internet is full of Comic Book Guys who don't even realize they're Comic Book Guys, who took "worst. episode. ever" from this and use it all the time but are too dumb to realize that it was making fun of them. I don't really like The Simpsons but this is just genius.
Bart: Hey, I know it wasn’t great, but what right do you have to complain?
Comic Book Guy: As a loyal viewer, I feel they owe me.
Bart: What? They’re giving you thousands of hours of entertainment for free. What could they possibly owe you? If anything, you owe them.
Comic Book Guy: [hesitantly] ...Worst episode ever.
The thing is, the internet is full of Comic Book Guys who don't even realize they're Comic Book Guys, who took "worst. episode. ever" from this and use it all the time but are too dumb to realize that it was making fun of them. I don't really like The Simpsons but this is just genius.
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