I saw Doubt

Thank you internets and those who post movies here, cough cough.

Yeah. Not really much of anything. It seems so lame on screen, whereas it was incredibly powerful on stage. Meryl was... I dunno. I kind of liked that her role came off as almost a parody of a hard-ass nun, because that's what her character came off as and I think she was trying to play to that as best as she could. She certainly wasn't bad, and I can't say "she's not Oscar-worthy" because I haven't seen the other nominees except Winslet, but she doesn't deserve a win. If this is the performance that gets her an Oscar to stand beside hers for Kramer vs. Kramer and especially Sophie's Choice, well um, that's almost kind of embarassing. Her bitchiness was AMAZING though. Like, I would like to BE HER in real life.

JESUS WTF HAPPENED, YOU WERE SO ANNOYING AND NOT GOOD AT ALL.

PSH was okay. He was uneven, which is unlike him ;_; He's usually either GREAT or terrible the whole movie. Here, his performance seemed to just... fluctuate. Ugh. Viola Davis is really the only one who I'm like, "YES, AWARDS!!!!!!!"

RANKINGS OF STUFF I'VE SEEN!
Best Picture: Milk, then The Reader with a large gap
Best Actor: only saw Penn
Best Actress: Winslet, large gap, Streep
Best Supporting Actor: OMG yay for this category!!! Ledger, Brolin, gap but not a huge one, Downey Jr., Hoffman. The last two... I think they are both capable of much better but at the same time, they are hardly embarassing nominations. I applaud the Academy for that Tropic Thunder nom.
Best Supporting Actress: DAVIS, Cruz, large gap, Adams ;_;
Best Original Screenplay: Wall-E, In Bruges, Milk. All three were positively terrific. From what I've seen of Happy-Go-Lucky, it would be far below these other three.
Best Adapted Screenplay: The Reader, Doubt

So basically I've seen nothing.

Analysis part... 4? Best Supporting Actor

Josh Brolin, Milk
Pros: Great year this one and last. In a hyped movie. Some important precursors. Closeted gay omgz.
Cons: Not enough precursors. Missed out at the Globes, which generally seemed to hate Milk in general. Vote splitting between him and Franco, the other Milk supporting actor?
Do I think he's in? Yes. He was great too. :)

Robert Downey Jr., Tropic Thunder
Pros: Great reviews and his buzz never died, accompanied by many precursors. He had a triumphant comeback year. Many noms including Globe and SAG.
Cons: His film still just a stupid comedy, not Oscar's forte at all and almost certain to get no other nominations. Many precursor noms, no precursor wins.
Do I think he's in? Yes, and I'm thrilled to see him have such a triumphant year, but I wish it was for Iron Man.

James Franco, Milk
Pros: Moving performance. He's been viewed as an up-and-comer for many years now. Playing gay. A few precursors.
Cons: Memories of "so good" have to decrease his credibility. Not enough precursors. Josh Brolin has most of the hype for this movie.
Do I think he's in? No, but it wouldn't shock me.

Philip Seymour Hoffman, Doubt
Pros: PSH is a new AMPAS favorite. Movie's getting a lot of attention. Meaty role. Many noms including Globes and SAG.
Cons: Based on the play (I haven't seen the movie so I dunno if they modified his character) he's a lead and this is category fraud. Not many wins because Heath Ledger has a lot of them.
Do I think he's in? Yes.

Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
Pros: ummm... where to begin. Death sympathy. A starring role in the biggest film of the year. He shapes that film and makes it as good as it is. Goodwill from Brokeback Mountain a few years ago. Incredible, blinding, deafening hype that he actually lived up to with outstanding reviews. He's basically won every single precursor award. And basically, it's just one fuuuucking heeeell of a performance that virtually everyone has seen.
Cons: He's in a superhero movie. The few naysayers who are like "OMG U ONLY LYKE HIM CUZ HEZ DED!!!! DIS MOOVIE IS OVERRATED N NOT GUD!!!!!!!"
Do I think he's in? A doy duh. The biggest, and at this point only, lock for a win.

Dev Patel, Slumdog Millionaire
Pros: Big role, supposedly actually lead (I haven't seen the film). His film is beloved. Apparently his character is extremely lovable. SAG nomination and a few others along the way. They love precocious young actors.
Cons: Missed the Globe nod and they loved his film too. Doesn't have tons of precursors. Might be characterized as a lead.
Do I think he's in? Considering the orgy of love for Slumdog Millionaire and how he seems to have gained much hype out of nowhere, yes.

Brad Pitt, Burn After Reading
Pros: Brad Pitt. In a Coen brothers film. Terrific and memorable.
Cons: No precusors save the BAFTA. Robert Downey Jr. already has the "supporting role in a stupid comedy" nomination (yes yes, Burn After Reading and Tropic Thunder are very different). Nobody's paying attention to his film.
Do I think he's in? No, but I sure as hell would love it.

Michael Shannon, Revolutionary Road
Pros: Sure to get attention with the fact that he's in the OMG LEO AND KATE!!!! movie. Apparently he's one hell of a scene stealer and his performance is excellent.
Cons: No real precursors and his film seems to be losing hype.
Do I think he's in? No.

Thank you, Saturday Night Live.

I can't find the skit online (is it possible they just didn't upload it?) but seriously, thank you for that "actors with two first names" skit that you had last Saturday when NPH hosted, so that I finally learned it's Philip Seymour Hoffman, as opposed to Philip Seymour Hoffman. I probably should have realized that when he was continually listed above Heath Ledger's name this year and back in the year of Brokeback Mountain and Capote (hence proving that PSH is before Ledger alphabetically, and his last name couldn't start with S because S comes after L), but, well, you know.

18 Oscar Contenders to Watch.

From EW. I'm just writing this down now, I'll be back to comment on it later.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Doubt
Frost/Nixon

David Fincher, Curious Case...
Ron Howard, Frost/Nixon
Christopher Nolan, The Dark Knight

Frank Langella, Frost/Nixon
Sean Penn, Milk
Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler

Anne Hathaway, Rachel Getting Married
Meryl Streep, Doubt
Kate Winslet, Revolutionary Road

Robert Downey Jr., Tropic Thunder
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Doubt
Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight

Penelope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Viola Davis, Doubt
Taraji P. Henson, The Curious Case...

More celebrity thoughts.

Laura: I love everything. I am the source of all goodness and light. When the evil aliens invade planet Earth, it will inevitably be me that causes the aliens to realize humans aren't so bad and thus leads to interstellar peace. My existence is so wonderful it utterly negates that of Heathers'. It's true.

Phil: I agree with all of the above. I need a drink, though. Otherwise I might...smile or something. Or take off this jacket, which I don't think I ever do. Don't I look weirdly like Daniel Day-Lewis in There Will Be Blood in this picture? I don't know why or how. Probably the mustache...

Laura: Teehee. That's so true. I love you, Phil.

Phil: I'm supposed to be all indie and weird and showing love will completely destroy that image, but dammit, Laura, I love you too. Nobody's such a good actor that they can pretend that they don't.

Laura: Somehow, despite being kind of a mess and always playing super-weird characters that make everyone uncomfortable, I find you incredibly charming. I love everything. Weren't we great in The Savages together? Let's cuddle forever.

Phil: Let's.

The Pulpys 2007 - Best Supporting Actor

Best Supporting Actor :: Musical / Comedy
and the nominees are


James Marsden as Prince Edward in Enchanted


Paul Rudd as Pete in Knocked Up


Ed Sanders as Toby in Sweeney Todd
(Grrr. This is the only picture of him I can find. I think Helena and Johnny were the only people in that movie *eye roll*)


Philip Seymour Hoffman as Gust Avrakrotos in Charlie Wilson's War


JK Simmons as Mac MacGuff in Juno


Christopher Walken as Wilbur Turnblad in Hairspray

and the winner is
Philip Seymour Hoffman



Supporting Actor :: Drama
and the nominees are


Javier Bardem as Anton Chigurh in No Country for Old Men


Paul Dano as Paul Sunday and Eli Sunday in There Will Be Blood


Hal Holbrook as Ron Franz in Into the Wild
(Emile's shorts still make me uncomfortable)


Tommy Lee Jones as Ed Bell in No Country for Old Men


Tom Wilkinson as Arthur Edens in Michael Clayton


Steve Zahn as Duane Martin in Rescue Dawn

and the winner is
Tommy Lee Jones
because apparently it's a good year for people with three names ;)

For Oscar rules:
Javier Bardem
* Tommy Lee Jones *
Philip Seymour Hoffman
Tom Wilkinson
Steve Zahn

So yeah, the Academy did a really good job here. The only three performances I missed out on here that I'd like to "apologize" to are Robert Downey Jr. in Zodiac, Morgan Freeman in Gone Baby Gone, and Robert De Niro in Stardust, who may have been awful but kept me cracking the shit up because...Robert De Niro. Gay pirate. Named Shakespeare. OH MY GOD.

Analyzing: Best Supporting Actor.

Second verse, same as the first.

5. Hal Holbrook, Into the Wild.

I'm with many that Into the Wild is one of the most overrated films of 2007. It just...really doesn't do it for me. That said, Hal Holbrook is perhaps the best thing about it. In very little screen time, he completely transforms the movie, and perhaps even your thoughts on Chris. His portrayal is honest and layered. You'll notice I haven't said anything even remotely bad about Hal. That's because Best Supporting Actor this year is pretty fucking amazing. Good on that, Academy. On a completely unrelated note - yikes, how short are those shorts on Emile in this picture?
Why he might win: The Academy sure as heck loves their old veterans - shades of Alan Arkin?
Why he might not: Not at all the frontrunner. The Academy clearly didn't like his film as much as we all thought they would. Not Javier Bardem.

4. Philip Seymour Hoffman, Charlie Wilson's War.

I think a lot of people get bitchy about Charlie Wilson's War because it has Julia Roberts, Tom Hanks, and PSH, a combination of which makes a lot of people break out in hives. Truth is, it's really clever and actually says something for the most part (its flaw is that script got some of the bite taken out of it by the real-life Joanne Herring, who sued, so it's perhaps not as smart as it could be) - but the banter between the male leads alone makes it worth watching. Hanks is just great, but it's the Hoff that runs away with this show. Simply put, it's his movie, and the absolute glee as he gobbles up scenery while somehow, improbably, creating a character is palpable. Hammy? Maybe. But I ate that ham right up.
Why he might win: His film made the most money in this category. I think the Oscars just woke up to the fact that PSH is, you know, an awesome actor, and will now want to reward him forever. Just like they did with C.Blah around 2004, but PSH is way better than boring ol' C.Blah...
Why he might not: This is his film's only nomination. He's the only previous winner and in a category with the potentially snubbed in the past, that hurts him badly. Not Javier Bardem.

3. Tom Wilkinson, Michael Clayton.

Tom Wilkinson is easily one of the best actors working today. Wilkinson + baguettes + crazy = YES! That voice brings gravitas. Is he insane, or is he the only one in this movie that's actually woken up? This isn't a particularly original thought, but he is so much like Peter Finch in Network. And that, my friends, is a very good thing to be.
Why he might win: In a Best Picture nominee. The Academy loves 'em old and British.
Why he might not: No other precursors. Not Javier Bardem.

2. Casey Affleck, The Assassination of That Guy By The Other Guy.

And here we have the year's honorary Egregious Category Fraud nomination (Foxx [in supporting, obviously] 04, Gyllenhaal 05, Blanchett 06) where an absolutely unquestionable lead gets thrown in supporting. That's not to diminish Affleck's achievement, however. The character is completely annoying at first, but he just portrays his need to be liked so badly that we feel for him nevertheless. The way his obsession with Jesse James gets played is simply great as well. Robert Ford is incredibly complex, and Affleck nails every nuance and character trait. He's utterly mesmirizing to watch as well; kid's got charisma. I know I'm a huge fan of Ben Affleck, and I do think he's a good actor, but Casey put him in his place to a ridiculous extent in this movie. Sort of related - Casey's fans are the second most annoying this year (first are Marion's, duh). I have no problems with people liking him, as clearly I do too. But do you always have to put down the front-runner and say "IF YOU SAW CASEY AND THINK JAVIER IS BETTER, YOU ARE A STUPID MORON!!!!!!" No. You don't. It's also very annoying that whenever someone lists Javier as their preferred winner they go "DID YOU SEE JESSE JAMES??????????" Anyway. Rock on, Casey.
Why he might win: He clearly has legions of fans. The critics awards Javier Bardem didn't win, he did.
Why he might not: His film made very little money. Not Javier Bardem.

1. Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men.

What is Anton Chigurh? Is he a serial killer? A madman? A drug lord? Or is he not something human at all, but merely a symbol of something else - death? evil? Only a master could play such an inspecific role and get it to feel completely like an actual person, and Javier Bardem absolutely does that. What's more, he adds tons of humor into the role, somehow, and even makes you feel a squeeze sorry for him in the last scene. I know Javier Bardem is a dashing, handsome Spanish man, but now all I can see him as is a crazed killer, completely lacking in soul, with, yeah, that crazy haircut. I know I'm not saying much that's specific, but a. I always find it so hard to write about films (I keep doing it though, dammit!) and b. Javier kind of leaves me without words in No Country. He's just...effing amazing.
Why he might win: Super frontrunner!!!! Won almost every critics' award, the Globe, the SAG, and the BAFTA. In the probable Best Picture winner.
Why he might not: Ben Affleck stuffs the vote box? My host mom from Spain who hated him (I don't know why. He brings your country fame. And Oscars!) convinces everyone to vote against him? I can only think of one actual reason - the Academy pulls an Alan Arkin and gives it to Hal Holbrook. But Into the Wild doesn't have nearly the support with the Academy that Little Miss Sunshine did... and Holbrook hasn't been thought of as a threat like Arkin was.

Will win: JavBar.
Might win: Anyone except Bardem would be extremely shocking, but Holbrook would leave me less shocked than anyone else after last year.
Dark horse: Affleck's clearly got his legions of fans, but it comes down to the fact that his film was just too small.
The snubbed: Of the ones Oscar might have noticed, primarily Tommy Lee Jones in No Country for Old Men and Paul Dano in There Will Be Blood. Like I said, though, Oscar picked really great nominees here (all of them are in my top 10 Supporting Actors, or rather would be if I considered Casey supporting), and thank God John Travolta didn't get in here.

Returning to The Screen Directory...

Remember this? So, I was really bored and I decided to list my nominations for their top 15 actors and actresses. Here goes! For every actor/actress, I have only included their 1990s and 2000s work (sorry Jack.).


the gentlemen

philip seymour hoffman
1999 - best supporting actor, magnolia (loses to tom cruise magnolia)
2000 - best supporting actor, almost famous (loses to mark ruffalo you can count on me)
top 10s for capote (2005), top 15s for the talented mr. ripley (1999), 25th hour (2002), and owning mahoney (2003)

edward norton
1996 - best supporting actor, primal fear *
1996 - best supporting actor, the people vs. larry flynt (loses to...himself)
1998 - best actor, american history x (loses to ian mckellen gods and monsters)
2002 - best actor, 25th hour (loses to jack nicholson about schmidt)
top 10s for fight club (1999), top 20s for the painted veil (2006)

sean penn
1993 - best supporting actor, carlito's way (loses to ralph fiennes schindler's list)
1995 - best actor, dead man walking (loses to nicolas cage leaving las vegas)
2003 - best actor, mystic river (loses to bill murray lost in translation)
top 10s for sweet and lowdown (1999) and 21 grams (2003), top 15s for the assassination of richard nixon (2004). and i still haven't seen much of his 80s stuff.

christian bale
2000 - best actor, american psycho *
top 10s for the machinist (2004), top 20s for batman begins (2005), top 30s for the prestige (2006) (last year was really strong for actors, he was quite good)

leonardo dicaprio
1993 - best supporting actor, what's eating gilbert grape? (loses to ralph fiennes schindler's list) 2006 - best actor, the departed (loses to ryan gosling half nelson)
top 10s for catch me if you can (2002), top 15s for the aviator (2004)

johnny depp
none. top 10s for ed wood (1994) - he's great, but i can't imagine taking anyone out of my top 6 (he's #7)

russell crowe
1997 - best actor, l.a. confidential (loses to ian holm the sweet hereafter)
1999 - best actor, the insider (loses to kevin spacey american beauty)
2000 - best actor, gladiator (loses to christian bale american psycho)
2001 - best actor, a beautiful mind *
top 10s for master and commander (2003), top 15s for cinderella man (2005), top 25s for a good year (seriously) (2006)

denzel washington
1992 - best actor, malcolm x *
2001 - best actor, training day (loses to russell crowe a beautiful mind)
top 25s for inside man (2006)

jack nicholson (remember, 1990s and after only)
2002 - best actor, about schmidt *
top 10s for as good as it gets (1997) and the pledge (2001), top 15s for the departed (2006)

joaquin phoenix
none. top 10 for quills (2000) and top 15 for walk the line (2005)

kevin spacey
1995 - best supporting actor, the usual suspects *
1997 - best supporting actor, l.a. confidential *
1999 - best actor, american beauty *
top 10s for henry & june (1990), the ref (1994), a time to kill (1996), hurlyburly (1998), and the life of david gale (2003), top 20s for superman returns (2006)

ralph fiennes
1993 - best supporting actor, schindler's list *
1996 - best actor, the english patient (loses to jeffrey wright basquiat)
2005 - best actor, the constant gardener (loses to heath ledger brokeback mountain)
top 15s for spider (2002) and he's also really good in red dragon, believe it or not...i need to put him in my lineup somewhere

tom hanks
1994 - best actor, forrest gump (loses to paul newman nobody's fool)
2000 - best actor, cast away (loses to christian bale american psycho)
top 10s for philadelphia (1993)

geoffrey rush
1996 - best actor, shine (loses to jeffrey wright basquiat)
top 15s for shakespeare in love and elizabeth (1998), quills (2000), and pirates of the carribbean: the curse of the black pearl (2003)

paul giamatti
2004 - best actor, sideways (loses to clive owen closer)
top 15s for the illusionist (2006), cinderella man (2005), and american splendor (2003)


the ladies

cate blanchett
1998 - best actress, elizabeth (loses to samantha morton under the skin)
2000 - best actress, the gift (loses to ellen burstyn requiem for a dream)
top 10s for oscar and lucinda (1997), heaven (2002), veronica guerin (2003), coffee and cigarettes (2004), and the good german (2006)

nicole kidman
1995 - best actress, to die for (loses to elisabeth shue leaving las vegas)
1999 - best supporting actress, eyes wide shut *
2001 - best actress, moulin rouge! (loses to naomi watts mulholland dr.)
2001 - best actress, the others (yes, nominated twice)
2004 - best actress, dogville (loses to kate winslet eternal sunshine...)
2004 - best actress, birth (yes, nominated twice...again)
top 15 for fur (2006)

kate winslet (and the fangirlyness starts!!!)
1994 - best actress, heavenly creatures (loses to linda fiorentino the last seduction)
1995 - best supporting actress, sense and sensibility *
1996 - best supporting actress, hamlet (loses to frances mcdormand fargo)
1999 - best actress, holy smoke! (loses to hilary swank boys don't cry)
2000 - best supporting actress, quills (loses to jennifer connelly requiem for a dream)
2001 - best supporting actress, iris *
2004 - best actress, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind *
2006 - best actress, little children (loses to meryl streep the devil wears prada)
top 10s for jude (1996) and hideous kinky (1998)

hilary swank
1999 - best actress, boys don't cry *
top 15s for million dollar baby (2004)

reese witherspoon
1996 - best actress, freeway (loses to emily watson breaking the waves)
1999 - best actress, election (loses to hilary swank boys don't cry)
2005 - best actress, walk the line (loses to rachel weisz the constant gardener)
top 10 for man on the moon (1991) and legally blonde (2001), top 15 for vanity fair (2004)

renee zellweger
2000 - best actress, nurse betty (loses to ellen burstyn requiem for a dream)
2001 - best actress, bridget jones' diary (loses to naomi watts mulholland dr.)
2003 - best supporting actress, cold mountain (loses to holly hunter thirteen)
top 10s for jerry maguire (1996) and chicago (2002), top 15s for down with love (2003)

juliette binoche
1991 - best actress, lovers on the bridge (loses to jodie foster silence of the lambs)
1994 - best actress, three colors: blue (loses to holly hunter the piano)
top 10s for the english patient (1996)

jennifer connelly
2000 - best supporting actress, requiem for a dream *
top 10s for house of sand and fog (2003)

rachel weisz
2005 - best actress, the constant gardener *
top 15s for the fountain (2006) (can't decide if she's supporting or leading. currently i have her as lead...in supporting, i would nominate her.)

maggie gyllenhaal
2002 - best actress, secretary (loses to samantha morton morvern callar)
top 10s for sherrybaby (2006) and happy endings (2005), top 20s for stranger than fiction (2006), top 30s for world trade center (2006)

charlize theron
2003 - best actress, monster (loses to uma thurman kill bill and scarjo lost in translation)

rachel mcadams
none. top 10s for mean girls (2004) and red eye (2005)

julianne moore
1993 - best supporting actress, short cuts (loses to gong li farewell, my concubine)
1994 - best supporting actress, vanya on 42nd street (loses to uma thurman pulp fiction)
1995 - best actress, safe (loses to elisabeth shue leaving las vegas)
1997 - best supporting actress, boogie nights (loses to sarah polley the sweet hereafter)
1999 - best actress, the end of the affair (loses to hilary swank boys don't cry)
2002 - best actress, far from heaven (loses to samantha morton morvern callar)
top 10s for the big lebowski (1998), the hours (2002), and children of men (2006)

toni collette
1995 - best actress, muriel's wedding (loses to elisabeth shue leaving las vegas)
1999 - best supporting actress, the sixth sense (loses to nicole kidman eyes wide shut)
2002 - best supporting actress, the hours (maybe, as it's a borderline cameo) (loses to catherine zeta-jones, chicago)
top 10s for about a boy (2002) and little miss sunshine (2006), top 15s for japanese story (2004) and in her shoes (2005)

naomi watts
2001 - best actress, mulholland dr. *
top 10 for the painted veil (2006), top 15 for i heart huckabees (2004)

I cannot wait for this movie!

I'm praying that The Savages gets Little Miss Sunshine-level success. Even if it's not good, it's got La Linney and PSH, who I have decided I love as well (seriously, anyone that hates him is like "he's ugly!" "I don't like to see him on my screen!" Suck it, I love George Clooney and Ewan McGregor too, for sure, but I'm glad not everyone looks like them. It's the Hilary Swank issue again.). LOOK AT THIS PICTURE! They are so cute.

PS - Look through PSH's pictures on IMDb. He's wearing that jacket at at least 3 different events.

The Screen Directory...

...it's a website with random top 10s/100s/15s. Here is their list of the top 15 contemporary actors and actresses, with what they chose as their best performance (for some reason, they only included the best performances for the top 10):

Actors
1. Philip Seymour Hoffman (Capote)
2. Edward Norton (Fight Club)
3. Sean Penn (The Falcon and the Snowman)
4. Christian Bale (The Machinist)
5. Leonardo DiCaprio (Blood Diamond)
6. Johnny Depp (Donnie Brasco)
7. Russell Crowe (A Beautiful Mind)
8. Denzel Washington (Training Day)
9. Jack Nicholson (The Shining)
10. Joaquin Phoenix (Walk the Line)
11. Kevin Spacey
12. Ralph Fiennes
13. Tom Hanks
14. Geoffrey Rush
15. Paul Giamatti

Actresses
1. Cate Blanchett (Elizabeth)
2. Nicole Kidman (The Hours)
3. Kate Winslet (Jude)
4. Hilary Swank (Million Dollar Baby)
5. Reese Witherspoon (Walk the Line)
6. Renee Zellweger (Cold Mountain)
7. Juliette Binoche (Three Colors: Blue)
8. Jennifer Connelly (Requiem for a Dream)
9. Rachel Weisz (The Constant Gardener)
10. Maggie Gyllenhaal (Secretary)
11. Charlize Theron
12. Rachel McAdams
13. Julianne Moore
14. Toni Collette
15. Naomi Watts

I'm not sure if Philip Seymour Hoffman is the #1 contemporary actor, but I can't deny that he has a great body of work and I like him a great deal. I just rewatched Boogie Nights and damned if he doesn't break my heart into a gajillion pieces in that film. Edward Norton has been amazing since his debut (Death to Smoochy and such excepted); my only problem with his placement on this list is the fact that they say Fight Club is his best performance. He's great and I nominate him for 1999, but it's like, his fifth or sixth best.

I've never really gotten Sean Penn, though I won't deny he's a really good actor. I think it's ridiculous that people say he "overacted" in Mystic River. It's been set up that he's a pretty volatile man, and he JUST LOST HIS DAUGHTER. How would you react? I've never heard of The Falcon and the Snowman, though. Maybe I should check it out. I would like to add, though, that he was awful in I Am Sam and his Oscar nomination was embarassing. Christian Bale is so fantastic and I'm still amused and delighted by the fact that he was in Newsies, but his best performance isn't The Machinist, it's obviously American Psycho.

Leonardo DiCaprio can be very hit or miss. As he gets older, though, he's definitely tipping more toward "hit." And holy shit, he hot. It's really easy to root for him, because he seems incredibly intelligent and, especially as of late, classy. His best performance is definitely The Departed, though. Johnny Depp. ALL SHOULD KNOW OF MY HATRED FOR JOHNNY DEPP. I hate his wackiness, I hate the fact that he works with Tim Burton all the freaking time (I love Ed Wood and Corpse Bride though. I can admit it), I hate the fact that people think he's the most gorgeous man to ever walk the earth, I hate the fact that he seems to never think any award shows are worth changing out of flannel for, and I HATE ("the fact" should be here somewhere...) CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW AND THE ENTIRE PIRATES FRANCHISE (perhaps I shouldn't judge...I still haven't seen the third one...but I doubt it is SO GOOD that it will erase the horrible-ness of the other two). He has talent, but the last time he used it was 2000 in his great cameo in Before Night Falls; said talent is certainly not present in Pirates. So, I clearly don't like his inclusion on this list. His best performance (and best movie by a mile) is Ed Wood.

It's not popular to, but I adore both Denzel and Russell. Yay American Gangster! They are both totally brilliant at the best of times, which is often. Denzel slums in crap too much and Russell is obnoxious, but I think they're both great. The performances chosen for them are only their second-best, however: Denzel's best is Malcolm X and Russell's, The Insider. All four performances, however, are amazing.

It's really unfair for Jack to be competing with these young upstarts (hee, I used a funny word) when he was already a legend by the beginning of the '90s. Still, at least he's trying in movies, which is more than can really be said for DeNiro or Pacino. I like him a lot in The Shining, but his best performance is eeeeasily One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest, no contest. Much like Sean Penn, I can recognize Joaquin's talent (though I don't think he has as much talent as Sean...), but he doesn't really do it for me... I also wasn't very fond of him in Gladiator, unlike, uh, the rest of the world. He was much better in Quills that same year. He was also great in Walk the Line but Reese Witherspoon was better. YOU HEARD ME BITCHES.

Kevin Spacey deserves a spot in the pantheon for his '90s run. Henry & June, The Ref, Swimming with Sharks, The Usual Suspects, L.A. Confidential, Hurlyburly, American Beauty, and I'm assuming Se7en but I've never seen it. Unfortunately, since 1999 his resume has looked like: crap, crap, crap, self-indulgent crap, crap, crap he directed, crap, crap. That said, it might not be as crappy as I once thought: I enjoyed him in Superman Returns and thought he was actually great in The Life of David Gale, though that movie was a disaster. Ralph Fiennes is godly. If he doesn't win an Oscar someday, there's no justice at all anywhere.

I still love Tom Hanks, fuck all the haters. He's very guilty of coasting on his charisma and reputation at times, but I still think he's great, and it's always a treat when he's in films. He's just very easy to watch and connect to (though he did suck in The Da Vinci Code, I'm not denying it). Geoffrey Rush is another one that does nothing for me. Paul Giamatti needs to clean himself up, fer chrissakes, but he's a really good actor. He's totally amazing in Sideways.

As for the women: Cate, you make me go "meh." Yes, you are a really good actress. But, you need to stop being in every movie, and you need to start engaging me emotionally at some point. She got bashed for her appearance in Babel, but I actually thought she was great. I don't know if it was her role, but I actually felt for her. Also, people need to stop cumming all over her in The Aviator, she was only okay at best. I'd comment that she always plays (incredibly various) variations on "strong, smart woman," but then I'd remember that I'm obsessed with Kate Winslet, who always plays (incredibly various) variations on "bohemian free spirit." I wouldn't put Cate atop this list, but I can't deny that she belongs there, and Elizabeth is indeed her best work. Nicole, on the other hand, is fantastic. Oh, she has burned me so many times, but I keep coming back. Why? Because I have To Die For, Eyes Wide Shut, Moulin Rouge!, The Others, The Hours, Dogville, Birth, and many others. She is fantastic in The Hours (the performance isn't really worthy of the OMG BEST EVER hosannahs it gets or the ridiculous backlash that almost all Oscar winners get), but her best performance is definitely in Dogville.

As I mentioned before, I am obsessed with Kate Winslet. She's both technically proficient and totally obviously in love with her craft. While she is fantastic in Jude, it is nowhere near her best work. That is clearly Eternal Sunshine. Hilary Swank is unfairly bashed (OMG! an actress that doesn't fit our standards of beauty. LET'S BASH HER), but she doesn't belong at #4. She's much better in Boys Don't Cry than Million Dollar Baby, though. I adore Reese Witherspoon, and I think people who say she can't act haven't seen any of her movies. At all. The Man in the Moon, Freeway, Pleasantville, Election (!!!), Legally Blonde, Vanity Fair, Walk the Line. I think Election's her best work, but she is fantastic in Walk the Line too. And yeah...you bet your ass she deserved that Oscar over Charlize and Felicity's ACTING!!! and Judi Dench's sleepwalking (Keira Knightley was good, but not as good). You go, girl.

I'm so glad some people still like Renee Zellweger. It's like, once she won her Oscar, people forgot everything that came before it (I really liked her in Cold Mountain but that's besides the point...). Dude, Bridget Jones' Diary! I don't even care that it would have been the PERFECT role for Kate Winslet, because Renee was absolutely fantastic. Nurse Betty! Down with Love! Jerry Maguire! Chicago! One True Thing! Even Cold Mountain itself! Yay Renee! I'm also glad to see some love for the extremely underrated Juliette Binoche on this list. She's fantastic.

Jennifer Connelly can be awesome, and she can be horrible (see: her Oscar-winning performance). I'm incredibly glad they chose Requiem for a Dream as her best work; as I've mentioned before, I think it's the best performance of the new millennium. It's stunning, heart-SHATTERING work. But, besides that and House of Sand and Fog, she makes me shrug. Rachel Weisz gave one of the best performances I've ever seen (for serious!) in The Constant Gardener, but I'm not sure just that and The Fountain, plus a whole hell-load of CRAP, mean she should be on the list over several other options. I heart Maggie, maybe for this picture (how drunk is Kate? So drunk) alone. Seriously, though: she gives off this weird vibe but it really works for her. She is like Zooey Deschanel, though with a better body of work (nothing she's done is as singularly good as Zooey's performance in All the Real Girls, though, but Maggie's worth is almost always really good) and she's easier to like.

I'm lazy and it's late so I'm going to run through the rest. Charlize was amazing in Monster, but other than that, she doesn't really deserve to be on the list. I like Rachel McAdams and all, but she annoys me. Rachel! EVERYONE likes you. You're really talented. You could be a total star (a star like, a Reese or maybe even a Cate, not a Lindsay for godssake's), but you only deign to star in like one movie a year. And it's usually not a very good movie. AT LEAST SCARLETT JOHANSSON IS TRYING!!! From like 94-02, Julianne Moore is uhhhmazing; after that, save for Children of Men, she's terrible. I hope she reverses that with her 2007 movies very much. Though, like Kevin Spacey, she deserves a place on the list for her '90s (and early '00s) choices. Toni Collette is amazing and could only be more amazing by being in every movie ever made and thus increasing their fantastic-ness. Naomi Watts is unbelievable in Mulholland Dr., quite great in The Painted Veil, deliciously amusing in I Heart Huckabees, and then really meh beyond that. Don't even get me started on her performance in 21 Grams.

So, there you have it. What have I gotten from this list? I like some, I don't like some, LAURA LINNEY IS UNDERRATED BY EVERYONE. Thank you, and good night. Despite what the timestamp here says, it is 2:41 AM and I require sleep.