ANTM:
1. Teyona
At first I didn’t like this photo that much because I was like “wow, her pose is lazy,” but no, it actually rocks and I think I was momentarily on crack. It’s model lazy, if that makes any sense. Like, at once it’s extremely casual and it shows a large amount of effort. She shows off the clothes well, her legs are awesome, she looks seventy feet tall, and her face is just beautiful. She totally stands out. Fantastic.
2. Allison
The more I look at this picture, the more I like it. She’s holding the light so perfectly – I bet her photography experience truly helped her there – and she looks spectacular with that makeup and her giant weave (eh, just wait until it turns into a Jenah-esque horror show). She really does look like a rock star, when normally she looks like some little mouse. The pose is really creative and interesting. My only issues with this photo is that said pose makes her look short, and her head looks pasted on. But still, awesome.
3. Natalie
Love her pose and the way she stands out. The way she’s hoisting the light over her head is really creative and she manages to make it look really good, as opposed to weird like London. I like – and this is probably unintentional but it rocks – how the light over her head points to her other arm, which is holding the other light. So cool. She shows the clothes off so well, and for some reason I absolutely love the one foot that’s on the ground. She’s only not higher because I think Allison and Teyona were more creative, and she looks stoned in the eyes.
4. Celia
Her face is God-awful here, and every time I look at it it gets worse (and it’s the reason she’s not #1), but that’s the only bad thing about this truly awesome photo. She stands out probably the most of any girl, and her pose is creative and just flat-out awesome. She looks 500 feet tall and that body and hairdo just screams supermodel here. But again, the FACE. She needs to work on that… but she’s not going anywhere any time soon so she’s got plenty of time ;)
5. Fo
I understand why she was in the bottom two and I’m not so sure I love that makeover either (I don’t think cutting hair = EDGY!!!! because Fo’s hair is kind of helmet-looking now), but it’s a really good picture, and in the pile of crap that was this week, she should have been more lauded for that. She looks racially ambiguous (in a good way) and super edgy, and her pose completely draws attention despite the fact that she’s weirdly lying down. I love how it’s casual but sexy. The light on her face is simply awesome.
6. Sandra
Major improvement from last week. Her makeover looks completely stupid and ridiculous, but you can almost ignore that here because she’s kind of rocking it. She stands out despite being backgrounded, and I love how she holds up that one light to shine on her face. The pose is nice and strong. Unfortunately, one of the lights gets very lost against her jacket and her eyes are very blank. But seeing as some photos this week REALLY sucked, this one ain’t so bad.
7. Kortnie
I don’t get this sudden KORTNIE SUCKS GET HER OUT attitude that seems to be permeating through the internet. Oh, wait, she’s a plus-size and she looks not unlike Whitney in this photo, which is probably why everyone hates her randomly now. Anyway, this photo is the end of the good ones this week, and it’s only okay. The pose/her body is what really lets her down, because it’s kind of boring and she doesn’t look like she has much of an idea what to do with the glow sticks. But she looks beautiful and shows the clothes off very well.
8. Nijah
Here’s where the photos start to get a real sense of suckiness and they just get worse and worse from here out. Big step down from Kortnie to here. I think this would have been one of the best photos of the week if she had a lot more energy, but as is, she just looks very “meh I don’t care.” I think Tyra’s constant “SMILE WITH UR EYES GURLFRIEND” thing is ridiculous, of course, but damn I get what she means here, because there’s not a hint of life in those eyes. I feel like the light beam things are super awkward in this photo and she has no idea what to do with them. Her pose makes her look very short. At least she looks pretty, unlike the girls lower than her on this list. Oh and Allison is so damn fierce in this photo.
9. London
This photo seems beloved. I HATE IT. Yeah, she stands out, because she’s TOTALLY foregrounded while the other girls are TOTALLY backgrounded. They did this to an extent with some other girls, but it wasn’t so pronounced. First, the good: the top arm is great (though super shortened), she is absolutely working her makeover, and she really does look like some amazing acid rocker from the 1980s. But the pose seems totally weird, her bottom arm is completely dead and worse, her face looks basically out of it and yeah, kind of retarded.
10. Jessica
Why oh why oh why does she look like such a dude?! She is really really beautiful in real life, but in every photo she takes, she looks absolutely awful. This one is straight-up masculine, way worse than anything Jaslene ever did. She seriously looks like she’s sucking on a really sour lemon while she is possessed by demons. In other words, the face is bad bad bad. Her body looks short and completely unmodelesque. The lights are held in just some random place without any thought to lighting herself. But damn, look at how hard Allison and Nijah are rocking this one. LOVE. But none for Jessica.
11. Aminat
Oh, Aminat. Don’t make me jump off your train of love. This photo is absolutely terrible. You’re only not eliminated by me because I think your pose, even if it is the “pose all the girls strike in the ghetto” is pretty darn fierce. First of all, Kortnie, Celia, and maybe even Sandra stand out far more than Aminat does. Part of it is the way they’re placed in the photo, but part of it is because their photos are flat-out stronger. What really sets Aminat down so far is her head and face. Her hair just completely drags her down (psht, and they called her awesome fro “limiting”… what’s limiting is hair you have no idea what to do with) and that expression on her face is, for lack of a better word, RANCID. Aminat, you are letting me down with your lack of awesome photo-ness. PLEASE BE MORE AWESOME.
12. Tahlia
Yeah, this is terrible. The Tahlia hate is completely excessive (yeah, she sucks, but people act like she massacred their whole family), but this photo is so bad. She stands out (though Allison looks a bazillion times better… and look at how fierce Nijah is crawling up over that pile of rubble), but that’s the only good thing I can say. Her pose is absolutely awful, and I totally understand what they were talking about with keeping the “tension” or whatever because she’s not doing that at all, and her arms, hands, and the light thingies look terrible.
Make Me a Supermodel
With shorter descriptions.
1. Jonathan
I think this photo is really great and creative. It's very ridiculous, but that's what I think they were aiming for, and it's not unmodelesque ridiculous. The fact that it's got a serious David Beckham vibe only adds to it for me. He got robbed of the win this week IMO, and with his haircut he looks like a hot Denis Leary. Love it.
2. Sandhurst
Gorgeous - it's like art - and inventive.
3. Mountaha
It's very playful. Her face, for once, looks great, though unfortunately I see a lot of drag in it. I see drag in Salome's, too, so I think it might be the makeup. And speaking of Salome...
4. Salome
I feel like it's a little tense in the mouth and she's got this air of panic in her eyes, but besides that I find it a very good photo... and it looked like she had even better ones at the photoshoot. She stands out against the all-pink-ness of it.
5. Shawn
He looks really tough, but also kinda goofy. I'm thinking it's the wig. He has such an opposite look to his personality; he looks like he should be playing Dexter, but then he's such a sweetie. It's a good picture, though. I think he's got nice energy and edginess.
6. CJ
She so deserved to be in the bottom this week and possibly even go home with her TERRIBLE walk and attitude, but this photo is actually very good. The blue looks wonderful against her skin. I wish her face was a little less morbid, but she's giving the camera a strong look.
7. Kerryn
ADORABLE. It could use a little more energy but I love it. It's so charming. She went for something different and it definitely worked.
8. Amanda
Really beautiful, I love its playfulness. She looks exactly like this girl I know at college here. The armpits freak me out and drag this photo down, as armpits are wont to do.
9. Jordan
I like her pose and she transformed herself, which I nearly always think is great, but I don't think this is win-worthy. And every time I look at it, all I can think is Lady Gaga! Amanda's kvetching about it was totally sour grapes, because Jordan didn't really have any more makeup on than others.
10. Karen
She looks HOT but it's wayyyy too sexual. Turn it down, girlfriend. And wow, she looks so much like Eugena.
11. Colin
...he'll improve. I HOPE. Oh, and according to the Bravo website, he was in the top group at elimination??? His walk greatly improved but based on the way he did at the photoshoot and the critiques they were giving him, I swore he was on the bottom. Whatever, anything that keeps my Colin on the show is fine. This is probably TMI but I realized, like, recently, that I've got the heterosexual female equivalent to a sexy librarian fetish and yeaaaaahhhh he's like the ultimate embodiment of that. AHEM. This photo is definitely not any good but I dunno, it's not THE worst of the week by a bit.
12. Laury
Her face is just so... awful. But she's not doing bad other than the fact that she's just, well, ugly. Sorry Laury :( Eh, she does look really tired.
13. Branden
Yeah, I don't get this AT ALL. His pose is lame and rather unflattering. I don't see the iciness the judges praised this photo for; I just see dead dead dead. I thought this guy was an easy early cut, but I guess he's a threat now. I don't think his look is special, he's very boring all-American (and too tall).
14. Chris
It's SCARY. He looks like some kind of hulking sea creature. It's something with the way he's baring his teeth, his pulled-back lips, and the eyes that look in two different directions. It's just not a good photo at all and he's a nice guy but I'm glad he's gone...
15. Gabriel
Oh, wow. Considering the BEAUTIFUL raw material they're working with here, this is shockingly bad. He honestly just looks morbid and pouty. I can't root for him any more, because his personality is kind of terrible and he seems like a major tool (while Branden is losing his toolishness rapidly, which is awesome). But ohhhh I will love looking at him for as long as he lasts.
I should add that I think Tyson's a robot (albeit an extremely HAWT) robot, but it's so cute when he got all depressed that Chris was going, and when he called Branden "my brother." Awww, he cares for his boiiiizzzzzz. I still think Branden is a doofus goofball, but knowing his background... damn, he basically said he got molested, right? Poor guy. :( Oh, and "boobie wa-was". That is all. He's officially an endearing doofus goofball.
