Movies I'm totally not watching right now

Cruel Intentions 2, starring Academy Award nominee (!!!) Amy Adams (isn't she adorable? I covet her dress and hair in this picture. I think she's somewheat overrated in Junebug, but she's still good and she's a good actress. She also does a hilarious Sarah Michelle Gellar impersonation, though she's not really dangerous/slightly unhinged enough to pull it off). Cruel Intentions is one of the most hilarious guilty-pleasure movies ever (along with, fittingly, most movies Reese Witherspoon is in). This, though, is pretty crap - and tons of lines of dialogue are lifted right from the original. Duh-duh-duh-dumb.

Still more enjoyable than any Von Trier save Dogville

Nicole Kidman: re-ranked

So one of my first posts on this blog was a ranking of Nicole Kidman's performances. And well...it is not correct in any way, shape, or form. Time for me to redo that, from best to worst.

1. Dogville
2. Moulin Rouge!
3. Birth
4. To Die For
5. Eyes Wide Shut (the only time I'm able to give her one of my Oscars, sadly)
6. The Others
7. The Hours
8. Fur
9. Portrait of a Lady
10. Bewitched (for serious, it's good)
11. Cold Mountain
12. Birthday Girl
13. The Stepford Wives
14. Batman Forever

or thereabouts.

happy birthday to the divisive ones.

First, Kirsten Dunst. Um...I actually really like her. I'm a big fan of her work in Interview with a Vampire, The Virgin Suicides, Drop Dead Gorgeous, Bring It On, crazy/beautiful, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and of course, last year's Marie-Antoinette (though she doesn't even make my top 10 for actress, that's more a comment on how strong the year is). Yeah, she can be really bad too (Elizabethtown) or really bland (the Spider-Man films...OMG Spider-Man 3 this weekend!!!! Maybe I'll actually see it!!!), but I don't hate her at all. Except she's a dumb slut that dumped Jake Gyllenhaal...

Person #2: Lars von Trier. Meh. Dogville was so awesome though

i always love when...

...bloggers are always calling out for all these very human causes, and then wank to Von Trier movies. Are his films (generally) quite good? Yes. Are they unbelievably cruel? You bet your ass. Dogville is the best of them by far; at least Grace gets her redemption. He used to be on my list of favorite directors because of his talent alone, but then I realized I couldn't, in any way, shape, or form, say he was a "favorite" of mine.

The only way Heathers could have been any worse: if it was co-directed by Lars Von Trier and Alejandro Gonzáles Iñarritu. shudder

this would rock.

grace says goodbye to dogville...or claire says hello to gullen?

The Visit done Dogville-style. Or rather, starting off all Dogville-style, but then eventually turning into a regular movie set. Holy shit, that would rock. Except we'd have to get rid of all the stupid things in that play that really try to be funny but aren't (the eunichs...err...).

Of course, most of you probably have no idea what I'm talking about, because you've probably never heard of/seen The Visit. Trust me, though, it's a faaantastic idea.

That's a neat coinky-dink

Last night I was all excited about Fur, and now, today, it's La Goddess Kidman's birthday. Yay! Since separating from her ex-husband, who then frankly went batshit crazy not unlike his turn in Magnolia, I really do think she has proven herself as an actress (not that she hadn't before, but she really got public notice, along with two Oscar nominations, one which led to a win). Nicole, despite being undoubtedly A-list, is not afraid to do projects approximately five people will see, like Dogville or Birth. She's always good to extremely excellent. She's not the best at comedy (errr... The Stepford Wives anyone?) but she's getting better (I really did love her in Bewitched). My favorite performances of hers:

1. Dogville
2. Moulin Rouge! (pictured above - too fabulous for words.)
3. Birth
4. The Hours
5. To Die For
6. The Hours
7. Eyes Wide Shut
8. Portrait of a Lady
9. The Others
10. Cold Mountain (I think I'm the only person on Earth who liked this movie.)
11. Bewitched
and The Stepford Wives would theoretically be #12, but it's nowhere near as good as these performances (yes, even Bewitched).

Ooh, a substantial post!