Oh, one final note before the main Oscar deluge:

Reese... what the fuck is this shit? This dress is totally disastrous and you usually look a billion percent awesome. Ugh, you've even got crazy-ass eyes to go along with this getup. And I think the eyes give it away: clearly this isn't actually Reese Witherspoon, but like, her evil twin who decided to smear her good name in the fashion world and run away with Jake Gyllenhaal. Poor Reese, tied up in a closet somewhere, never saw it coming.

Four Christmases

So, this trailer is all over TV here. It looks laaaaaaaaaaaaaaame. And wasn't this the movie where Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn constantly wanted to tear the other's throat out? That's kind of awesome actually...

Baby baby baby baby baby!

I know that nowadays, play a real character = win an Oscar, but Reese actually deserved it. She alone gave life to a dull movie (Joaquin was okay, but not nearly as good as she was). Just reminding ya'll in honor of her birthday.

*choir of angels sings*

It is God's birthday today. I know I probably say a lot of people are "God" in this blog (I feel God in this blog tonight. WHOOOO!!!!!), but I really mean it with him. He is probably the most talented living artist. In honor of him, contemplate how much better Sweeney Todd, the stage show, is from Sweeney Todd, the movie (which is still not bad, probably just because I love that show so goddamn much).

Also: Reese Witherspoon (still love her.). Andrew Lloyd Webber (I don't have the pure hatred for him a lot of musical theater people do, but yeah his shows are pretty bad and his music very schlocky. And why is he on the IMDb main page for birthdays and not Sondheim? Sondheim's got an Oscar too, bitches!). Damn Karl Malden is 96?!

A lot of people hate Reese Witherspoon.

I don't know why. Her Oscar win wasn't totally deserved, true, but really there aren't that many totally deserved Oscar wins, and she was handily the best of the nominees. I mean...Huffman? Yeah. No. I think I would have puked. But... okay, Walk the Line aside, have people not seen Election?!

"He should have just accepted things as they are instead of trying to interfere with destiny. You see, you can't interfere with destiny. That's why it's destiny. And if you try to interfere, the same thing's going to happen anyway, and you'll just suffer."

"NO! Didn't bother me at all!"

Brilliant. The amazing screenwriting helps, yeah, but... brilliant.

(In another note, the best thing about that movie that you probably didn't notice before was the fact that they keep zooming out on Tracy's "Pick Flick" pins and they really look like they're saying "Pick Fuck.")

Classy, Ryan.

That said: I just wanted these two crazy kids to make it. Boo.

Movies I'm totally not watching right now

Cruel Intentions 2, starring Academy Award nominee (!!!) Amy Adams (isn't she adorable? I covet her dress and hair in this picture. I think she's somewheat overrated in Junebug, but she's still good and she's a good actress. She also does a hilarious Sarah Michelle Gellar impersonation, though she's not really dangerous/slightly unhinged enough to pull it off). Cruel Intentions is one of the most hilarious guilty-pleasure movies ever (along with, fittingly, most movies Reese Witherspoon is in). This, though, is pretty crap - and tons of lines of dialogue are lifted right from the original. Duh-duh-duh-dumb.

Still more enjoyable than any Von Trier save Dogville

happy birthday to MY GIRL!

just in case you forgot what a really great oscar dress looks like

Reese Witherspoon is fuckin' awesome.

Seriously, you should think so too (if you don't, she will probably come cut you, anyway). I have absolutely no shame in saying she is one of my favorite actresses. Seriously. The Man in the Moon, Freeway, Pleasantville, Election, American Psycho, Legally Blonde, Vanity Fair (she's good, the film really isn't), all capping off with a well-deserved Oscar for Walk the Line. Love her. And I love her even more because I don't think she's the least bit pretty but do you ever see her looking anything but incredible at awards shows? No. No, you don't. Cuz bitch knows how to dress herself.

Happy birthday Reese!