paaaaain

is watching the E! Fashion Police just to see the outfits from the Oscars.

I can't stand Joan Rivers but she has a faaabulous sparkly jacket that I covet very very very much.

my thoughts on Oscar dresses (because that's all that really matters)

Only Sandra Bullock and Cameron Diaz looked really great. It was a nice of blah. Kristen Stewart looked okay, but she looks so miserable and hunched-over all the time and this annoys me.

Tina Fey's dress was really unflattering.

Sarah Jessica Parker was a mess. Unflattering and ugly.

Charlize Theron's dress had boob flowers. WTF?

Vera Farmiga looked like she was getting attacked by a giant red tapeworm. Some bad. I can't believe that was Marchesa. ;_;

Meryl Streep's outfit was sort of boxy and unflattering. :(

Miley Cyrus looked absolutely terrible.

Zoe Saldana had a weird dress but you know what? Bitch pulled it off. And it was SPARKLY!

Penelope Cruz = meh

Kate Winslet = meh (NOOOO!!!!)

Diane Kruger = WTF?

Anna Kendrick and Amanda Seyfried competed for the TOTALLY BLAH award. I have not decided who the winner is. I guess Seyfried, because she is pretty blah in general and Anna ruled in Up in the Air.

Emmy fashion.

Because I'm bored. Overall, nobody looked amazing and nobody looked horrendous.

Jennifer Morrison: I don't like the hem or the overly heavily sewed (for lack of a better term) area by the boobs, but I've seen the back of this and it's way better.
Debra Messing: I like this. It's a nice silhouette and color, and the beading or gems or whatever add a really nice touch. The hair is nice, too.
Sigourney Weaver: I love the color, but the fabric strikes me as so prom-my. Still, she looks pretty hot, and she's pulling it off.
Carrie Preston: I'm not sure about the shoulder, but I think I like this. It's interesting. Even the weird little wing thing works, and I definitely like the belt, but again, it might clash with the shoulder.
Alyson Hannigan: It's a simple black dress, but I love the ruffling and details at the bottom. I didn't see this on a telecast or anything, but I think it's one of my favorite dresses of the night. The hair is great, too.
Christina Hendricks (this is right, right? Why does it say Kristina?): She's hot. Like, undeniably hot. That said, she looks really bulgy in this, I'm sorry. She doesn't look really bad, though. I don't think she ever could. And I love the cap sleeves with the retro appeal.
Lisa Edelstein: No. It looks pretty cheap. The satin looks wrinkly and the lace/whatever white fabric it is peeking out only make it look worse.
Jenna Fischer: It's not perfect, but it's probably the best I've seen her at one of these things. The hair and makeup and skin in general was really flawless, and I dunno what it was, but she just looked simply happy. I love the top of the dress, but the bottom is a little too wrinkly.
Rose Byrne: This is probably my favorite dress of the night. It's so romantic and sweet. It's a little over-the-top, but not crazily so. The hair and makeup are flawless, as well. I used to not like her, but I loved her in Adam, so I think I love her now. Yay.
Kate Walsh: I never like the whole "saddlebag" effect, but I think she looked really nice. The dress is a good color and her hair and makeup look flawless.
Olivia Wilde: This is really awful, in my opinion. I hate the cut-outs and the effect they create over her chest, and if you could see the back, there's a huge visible zipper there.
Anna Gunn: I have absolutely no idea who she is and I wish I could see a better photo of this, because it's a really awkward photo. The dress doesn't look terrible, though, just a little generic.
Jamie-Lynn Siegler: It's okay. It's kind of generic. It could be in a better color for her skin.
Jennifer Love Hewitt: It's plain, but I like it. She could have used some better hair, though. It looks sloppy here.
Sandra Oh: Another one of my favorite dresses. She looks flawless here, and it fits her perfectly. I don't even mind the lame little sash thing, because it looks nice blending in. If it was a contrasting color, I would probably hate it.
Melora Hardin: Over on The Office boards that I read, this dress is getting a lot of hate, because you are NEVER ALLOWED TO SAY ANYTHING GOOD ABOUT MELORA HARDIN OR JAN, but I like it. It's a nice color and it's pretty. It's a little too Disney princess, but eh. It's really not as bad as everyone was saying.
Joely Fischer: I like it. The color stops it from being dowdy, which it could have been with the cut.
Mila Kunis: This was one of my favorite dresses of the night. I love how she looks like a more high-fashion ballerina here. And I just love her from Forgetting Sarah Marshall, anyway.
Elizabeth Perkins: Okay, the color can't save this one from being dowdy. Yeesh. I do like the color, though, it's just too generously cut.
Padma Lakshmi: You all know I love her, but this dress needs some editing, to quote Project Runway. The ropes on the shoulders don't really work, but the hip flower thing is just truly awful.
Jessica Lange: It's fine. Not great, not horrible.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus: Again, it's fine. Not great and not horrible. It definitely obliterates her waist, which was a major issue with a lot of dresses I saw last night.
Christina Applegate: Half the time I see it, I really like it, and half the time I see it, I don't like it at all. The stomach band is just so, so weird, and I think it's see-through which is a no. But I like the color, and overall, I dunno, it's just nice.
Vanessa Williams: It's okay. A little prom-my. Pretty color.
Mariska Hargitay: Again, it's okay. Do her boobs look weird, or is it me? This looked better on TV. She's really pretty.
Holly Hunter: One of my favorites of the night. It's both really girly and pretty, and interesting and slightly edgy. She needed to comb her hair like whoah, though.
January Jones: Another favorite, for the same reasons as Holly Hunter. I even like the hip flaps. I think they're interesting.
Chloe Sevigny: Yet another favorite! She normally goes totally weird, but this is lovely while still not in any way boring. Polka dots! I love it.
Sally Field: Boring.
Tina Fey: Boring.
Glenn Close: Boring. And off-center, which bothers me with these kind of necklines.
Heidi Klum: I love it. Yeah, I'm getting tired, can you tell?
Blake Lively: CHEAAAAAP.
Toni Collette: I remember not liking it on TV, but it's lovely here. I adore bubblegum pink.
Drew Barrymore: Eh. It's a little too precious for me. It reminds me of the dress Penelope Cruz had at the Oscars a few years ago.
Hayden Panettiere: Eek. This is... eek. I remember not thinking it was terrible on the show, so... I dunno what changed here. It looks like it's barely holding on via weird-ass strings, or something. It's really bad.
Shohreh Aghdashloo: I loved her, though she was breathing really weirdly when she won her award. This dress is nice, but a little plain.
Mary Louise Parker: It's cute. I like that she went with a mini, because nobody else did. Again, how can you tell I'm getting tired?
Ginnifer Goodwin: I didn't see this on the broadcast, but this is so hot. The color is fabulous, I love the cut, and from what I can see of the necklace, it's great as well.
Dana Delaney: This was a nice dress, but not really spectacular. I love how she was defending Wolf Blitzer on Jeopardy during some red carpet interview. Hysterical.
Tracy Pollan: I just don't like that color or cut along the neckline. Yeah... that's about all I have to say.
Kyra Sedgwick: I love the color, but it's soooo twee. It needed a lot less going on.
Jennifer Carpenter: I love it, except for the clumping of the black beads by her boob. That's just weird and kind of chunky, and it should have followed the pattern of the rest of the dress. But it's really nice, other than that.
Nancy Carell: I love the color, but it's boring other than that. Love her, though.
Jane Fallon: It's okay. Ricky Gervais looks sharp in that tux, I must say, though I've officially decided I don't like him in person. He always comes on, makes some really snide remarks, and then leaves, and everyone thinks he's OMG SO FUNNY!!! I like him on The Office and Extras, though, and I'm still all excited about The Invention of Lying.
Wives of Colbert & Conan: Cute. Their husbands are extremely awesome.


Zzzz tired. I'm really sad they didn't have the lady in the crazy Obama dress.

Dresses at the Golden Globes.

Here's a gallery.

Eva Longoria: Beautiful, but honestly a little prom-my. The scalloping on the bustline was a smart, creative choice though. I like that she wore red, because red is awesome.

Olivia Wilde: Actually one of my favorites of the night. At least she kept it interesting and the weird bottom didn't look bad.

Kate Flannery: This was pretty cute, actually.

Julie Benz: Again, kind of prom-my. The color is nice.

Angela Kinsey: Love the color, nice cut, but it's a little boring.

Jennifer Morrison: Love the color. Honestly, I was just so glad to see someone with color and a dress that wasn't cut straight across the boobs, then fell straight down in a neutralish color.

Madeline Zima: Who? I like her dress.

Jane Fallon: It's very cute, but I don't exactly think it's formal enough for the Globes.

Mindy Kaling: For all the talk about fashion she likes to do in her blog, Mindy wears really bad outfits to awards shows. This dress is an exception, thank GOD. It is boring, but better boring and flattering than... awful.

Amy Adams: One of my favorites. It's a strapless black dress, but thank God it's not at all boring. Her jewelry and hair were great as well.

Anna Paquin: It's boring and unflattering. She needs to go back to dark hair, close that gap in her teeth, and get better eyebrows.

Christina Applegate: Cute. I love the detailing on the bodice.

Debra Messing: This would have been fine without the, uh, what do you call them? layers or something? on the bottom. I like it a lot besides that.

Jenna Fischer: Like I said, it had a lovely cut that, thankfully, was different from the standard strapless-straight-down-no-waist. But, the cut is ruined by that pattern. Ugh :(

Evan Rachel Wood: I actually loved this. I will always love black dresses that are actually interesting. The tiering, the glitter, loved it.

Kristin Scott Thomas: zzzz. The black belt and the white flower thing don't go well on the dress either.

Rachel Griffiths: Oh, Rachel, no :( It's such a pretty color and the cut could have been good, but it's so shapeless and, more importantly, SO WRINKLED! Ugh.

Rumor Willis: I LOVED this dress. She looked so glamorous and beautiful. Points off for clashing with her hair, though.

Susan Sarandon: How is she so hot at 62 or whatever? And in a pantsuit?

Jennifer Lopez: Tacky and unflattering.

Jane Krakowski: It's hard to wear white, but she pulls it off quite marvelously. I like the hints of Grecian influence.

Amanda Seyfried: I agree with these TV Guide comments too much... yeah, this washed her out and it was just BORING. C'mon, Amanda, like five people wore this to my prom.

Aaron Eckhart: He looks too harsh and even old with his hair slicked back like that.

America Ferrera: It's not A+ like some of her other dresses have been, but I love it anyway. It's probably what I would wear to like, all these things, if I could ever go ha ha. The cut is so cute, though the color is a little boring.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie: Brad looks better without facial hair, but whatever, he's Brad Pitt, he looks SO HOT doing whatever. I really liked Angelina's dress, actually, but it was just a little bit... blah? I dunno.

Anne Hathaway: Good color, but the fabric should have been the same all the way down (or all the way up, depending on how you want to look at it). It wasn't flattering across her stomach. Also, she looks MUCH prettier when her makeup is either less severe (Anne, can you try a PINK lip just ONCE?) or, preferrably, her hair is loose.

Cameron Diaz: GORGEOUS, GORGEOUS color, but oh God what a mess overall. It looks like she spent three hours rolling around on the floor of her limo.

Drew Barrymore: Beautiful color, but from the hair to the faux sleeves, it's very matronly.

Eva Mendes: The dress looks beautiful on her skin, but I hate the bow, which, during the show, just looked like random fabric billowing out from a random spot on her hip.

Ashton Kutcher & Demi Moore: I don't like the all-black look, but okay. I don't like all the ruffles on Demi's dress and the color is boring, but she looked incredibly beautiful.

Hayden Panettiere: It's a beautiful color and I think it fits wonderfully, actually. But it's very boring. It's the epitome of the whole cut-straight-across-the-boobs-then-fall-straight-down dress I've been bitching about.

Isla Fisher: A MESS.

Glenn Close and Tony Shalhoub: No. Glenn maybe could have turned the top into a dress, but the pants are simply terrible.

Blake Lively: It's a beautiful dress, but it's soooo unflattering.

Brendan Gleeson and Colin Farrell: Brendan looks good, actually! Colin looks... messy.

Laurence Fishburne and Gina Torres: Not surprisingly, I didn't see these two before, but I really like her dress (it would be 10000% there without those random drooping fabric pieces below the belt). Great color, great cut, quite interesting, just great. I like that he went for a different color and pulled it off well.

Laura Linney: Flawless. Incredibly beautiful and interesting without being weird.

Kevin Bacon & Kyra Sedgwick: He looks fine, but his hair is weird. I like her dress, but the belt is kinda meh.

Kate Winslet & Leonardo DiCaprio: Leo looked glorious. Kate, I worship you, but this outfit was sadly boring. Flawless hair and makeup, though.

Seal & Heidi Klum: Oh, Heidi. If this is what you think is all couture and whatnot, I will no longer trust your opinion on Project Runway. Without the flower, though, I think I'd love it.

Lisa Edelstein: I'd like it so much without the giant WHAT THE HELL? black bow.

Maggie Gyllenhaal: LOVED IT SO MUCH. Gorgeous and totally interesting.

Marisa Tomei: Uh, well, it's crazy, and I'm not pretending it's good, but she's kind of pulling it off, right? She looks so cute!

Patrick Dempsey & Tina Fey: What a random pair. Patrick looked suave and Tina's dress was cute, but dammit, Tina, wear something that's not navy or black. Come on, you're hot, you can do it!

Mary Louise Parker: Damn, that color looks amazing on her. I'd like it better without the crosshatching, but it's still a wonderful dress.

Penelope Cruz: BORING. LIKE THE ACTRESS! Oh, SNAP!

Renee Zellweger: Like the write-up says, where to begin? Sweet Jesus this is all kinds of terrible in so many ways. Poor Renee. She used to look so freaking amazing at awards shows!

Miley Cyrus: It's cute and age-appropriate. She's VERY VERY ANNOYING.

Salma Hayek: The color is actually quite good on her, though it would be boring on anyone else. Yeah, she's working the dress. Her body is fucking flawless, so of course she is.

Kevin Dillon & Mickey Rourke: Kevin's fine. Mickey is, uh, a mess.

Megan Fox: The pattern is rather ugly and her face looks absolutely frozen.

Sandra Bullock: The layer things on the bottom are reminiscent of Debra Messing's, but Sandra's are much better. Maybe because the layers are on the top too? I like this dress a lot, it's very soft and pretty.

Sigourney Weaver: Boring and quite matronly.

Taraji P. Henson: She's adorable and the cut is flawless, but the pattern is such an awful mess.

Tom Hanks & Rita Wilson: Love him. His wife needs to not wear disco ball dresses with strange mermaid scales, though she kind of looks good in it.

January Jones: I actually kind of like it? It's a little much, and it wasn't one of the best of the night, but, yeah, I actually liked it.

Christina Hendricks: Yes, you're pale and red-haired and have big boobs, we get it. This dress is boring.

Best Dressed:
1. Tom Cruise! I know I didn't cover him here, but holy crap, he looked AMAZING! He actually took my breath away with how good he looked. And this is TOM CRUISE we're talking about here!
2. Maggie Gyllenhaal
3. Amy Adams
4. Laura Linney
5. Evan Rachel Wood
6. Mary Louise Parker
7. Beyonce (she wasn't on this list but it was beautiful)
8. Sandra Bullock
9. Olivia Wilde
10. Rumor Willis

Emmy fashions.

Here they are, via TV Guide.

Julie Louis-Dreyfus: Stunning. I usually hate the little underboob cut-out things, but fantastic.
Jennifer Love Hewitt: Wow, I didn't see anyone talking about her dress, and I absolutely love it. Her hair's a total mess, though.
Holly Hunter: I like it - it's a fantastic color that you don't really see a lot - but it's a little prom-my.
Glenn Close: WTF is this? Does it need a like, crazy spiderweb cape? It would have been much better, if not very interesting, with just the dress alone.
Teri Hatcher: It's a great color, and it's okay until the knees or so. I dunno. It's just a very bad length to cut the dress off at.
Brooke Shields: FABULOUS.
Vanessa Williams: Awful. Did she make this dress out of a carpet or something?
Jenna Fischer: Oh, Pam, you know I love you, but this dress makes you look terribly bloated and like you have no waist. The color's also kind of cheap-looking. I like her hair, though.
Kate Walsh: The dress isn't my favorite, but it's an interesting take on boring ol' black. Love her hair/makeup.
Mary-Louise Parker: It's a fantastic color and she looks absolutely great in it. And not mildly stoned! Wow!
Mariska Hargitay: I think I'm reading that people don't like this... what? I think it's absolutely fantastic. It's a great color and cut, and she looks really really youthful.
Christina Applegate: That's a crazy dress, but she looks absolutely amazing.
Kathy Griffin: Hideous.
Tina Fey: It's simple and kind of boring, but she looks fantastic in it.
Heidi Klum: It's great (I am a magpie and drawn to anything sparkly), but like Glenn, it would have been much better without the silly cape thing.
Sandra Oh: I actually love it. Much like her one-time Grey's Anatomy co-star Walsh, it's a very interesting take on boring black (and honestly, a boring cut too).
Olivia Wilde: This is like some terrible prom-dress-cum-wedding-dress. It's boring and it washes her out.
Rainn Wilson: Uh, okay. It's a tux. I agree with the writers of these blurbs that he actually looks pretty good in glasses.
Kathleen Robertson: I don't know who that is, but this dress is okay. Again, pretty boring. I like what I can see of her earrings, though!
Debra Messing: It looks kind of like a garbage bag but A REALLY FANTASTIC GARBAGE BAG THAT I WOULD TOTALLY WEAR.
Lisa Edelstein: If the pattern was on her entire dress, it might work. As is, especially with the somehow annoying "gee, aren't I cute!" stance she has, she looks like a friggin' lamp.
Jaime Bergman: All these white dresses are somehow yawn-enducing, while the black ones rock. Huh. Who knew?
America Ferrera: I love her, she's gorgeous, and her hair and makeup is perfect. However, this looks like a garbage bag, but unlike Debra Messing's, SO NOT a garbage bag I would wear. It's a bad dress.
Nicollette Sheridan: ...wha-what? Nicollette Sheridan actually looks great at an awards show? And she's got an amazing, envy-worthy dress? I AM SO CONFUSED.
Melora Hardin: I like the dress, except that the pendant/gathering seems to fall at a weird part of her body, but her makeup and hair are way too much and far too severe. Eeek, Crazy!Jan attacks even on the red carpet ;)
Chandra Wilson: It's a boring dress, it makes her look huge and stumpy, and the attempts to make it interesting (the slit, the ... jewel-thing? what are those?) are kind of awkward. Sorry, Bailey.
Cynthia Nixon: It's not very interesting, but the color's gorgeous and you don't see it often.
Alan Cumming: Uh, what?
Angela Kinsey: For me, she's the best-dressed of the Office ladies! It's not an amazing dress, but it's pretty, a good color, and certainly better than what most of the others were sporting.
Lauren Conrad: Yawn. Didn't she design this? Ooh, it proves she can put a bunch of black fabric together and then stick an awkward brooch on it. Good for her.
Kate Flannery: Hey, she looks great, too! I would have preferred if her dress had stayed sleek the whole way down as opposed to "flaring out" at the bottom, but I do like it.
Julie Benz: Besides the color, which is a little too much, it's pretty... meh.
Steve Carell & Nancy Wals: <333333333333333 I love Nancy's dress too, because I love really interesting black/gray dresses. (Someday you will win an Emmy, Steve. ;_; )
Cheryl Hines: It's an interesting white dress! Run for the hills! I feel like she's too old for it, though...
Lee Majors & Faith Majors: I think I like her dress, but I can't really see enough of it to fully judge.
Padma Lakshmi: In theory, it's a great dress... but she looks really awkward and lumpy (okay, I stole that from the writers of these blurbs).
Neil Patrick Harris & David Burtka: Awww. <333333333 (NPH, I'm so sad you lost!!!!)
Eva Longoria Parker: Am I the only one who loves this? I think so. I get that it's kind of shapeless but I think it's really interesting...
Dae Kim & Mia Kim: I LOOOOOOOOVE her dress. Plus, it looks actually wearable in real life if you make it like knee-length. Must. Steal. It. Now.
Christina Hendricks: Boobtastic! The color's amazing too. Hey, Jenna! See how this worked for the other redhead with giant boobs? Try this next year!
Laura Dern: It's very prommy, but I still like it. She might be a little too old for it, though.
Kristin Chenoweth: Soooooo booooooriiiiiiinggggg.............
Kyra Sedgwick: It's very boring, save the horrible - and I gotta steal this one from the people who write these blurbs - "evil, jagged sequin monsters that are trying to eat her boobs." So, overall, no, I don't like it.
Elisabeth Moss: Love it. Very flapper-esque.
Evangeline Lilly: I find her boring and not very pretty, but I like this dress. It's an interesting pattern that actually works.
Hayden Panettiere: Age-appropriate black? Hayden rocks.
Elizabeth Mitchell: This is absolutely awful. It looks like armor and it's really unflattering. Her necklace is terrible and too chunky too, and her hair is blah.
Lisa Rinna: Is this dress a tablecloth? Cuz it looks like it. Joey Fatone is making me laugh a lot though.

Blah. Oh, and about the Emmys... uh, sad The Office won nothing, but hey, look on the bright side: at least Two and a Half Men didn't either!

tvguide.com has some great photo galleries.

Some Officers, Brit and Yank, at the SAGs. They're all so darn cute!

I finally get to comment on all the SAG and Oscar fashions. Yup, I'm late, but I'm finally without work and it's a slow few movie months... and yeah, I get lazy commenting on guys' looks unless they're...odd.

SAG
America Ferrera: Gorgeous and classy; she always looks amazing. A candidate for best-dressed of the night for sure.
Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt: I know this was divisive, but I love what she was wearing. It's definitely not traditional, and I don't even like her that much, but she was really pulling it off. Brad Pitt always looks hot, but that outfit needs to be a tad more red-carpet-ish...
Angela Kinsey: I love her and I think she looks great. She's totally adorable. It amuses me so much how much she's not like her character in real life.

Kyra Sedgwick & Kevin Bacon: Something's a little off about her dress, I dunno. It's too...boring, besides its fantastic color. Kevin needs to do his hair a different way.
Cate Blanchett: I'm really not crazy about her dress. I know it has a pattern, but instead it looks like Jackson Pollock got ahold of it...
Rebecca Romijn: What? You're hot, Rebecca? Oh my God, I didn't realize that the first 1500808 times you tried to drill that into my head. I got it now.
Dana Delany: Bad prom dress.
Rebecca Gayheart & Eric Dane: She's got one hell of a bitchface in the picture they have of her, and the dress she has on is a tad ridiculous but I kind of love it. Eric Dane is pretty hot.
Diane Lane: Bad haircut and terrible pose in the picture they have. The dress is okay but kind of pancakes her chest.
Ellen Page: What? Ellen Page wore a boring black dress? How unexpected.
Edie Falco (and James Gandolfini): I can't see much of it, but it looks really really boring.
Jamie-Lynn Sigler: I would definitely like it more if it was all one color instead of having the weird cutoff at the boobs.
Jane Krakowski: I love her, but it's an awful color and the straight-from-the-arts-and-crafts store neck thing is even worse. Oh, Jane. Shame, shame, shame.
January Jones: I want to say it's horrible, and yet the color is amazing and I know if I was a celebrity I would so wear something like that. So yeah, I kind of love it.
Ellen Pompeo: Is she wearing tinfoil? I actually like it. It makes her look not emaciated and it's interesting without being weird.
Allison Janney: Fantastic dress. Why didn't I see her in more places?
Jeanne Tripplehorn: Boring and shapeless.
Kate Beckinsale: It's always lovely to see colors (especially if they're not red, which got kind of overplayed this award season). I think I would have liked it better without the little bow thing at the hip, but it's still a great dress.
Katrina Bowden: Makes her look pregnant.
Marg Helgenberger: What's more boring than a straight up-and-down black dress? Not much.
Melora Hardin: That's such a nuts dress, but I kind of like it. I wouldn't expect any less from Miss Jan Levinson.
Michelle Pfeiffer: Boring. Just like the actress herself. Yup, I said it.
Ashley Tisdale: I thought her dress was fantastic - very clean lines and a nice color. Good hair too.
Nicolette Sheridan: Has she ever worn anything good to an awards show?
Carla Gugino: Like I said, red's getting overplayed, but it still definitely gets attention. This cut is great and interesting, too.
Sophia Bush: It's odd, but I kind of like it.
Teri Hatcher: It's okay. It fits oddly around her midsection.
Tina Fey: BOOORING. But she's so awesome it's excused.
Viggo Mortensen: If any actor is guilty of fucking with their own innate hotness, it's so Viggo. WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DUDE??!??!
Sandra Oh: I know it's crazy, but it's a tribute to her heritage, right? And it's actually kind of beautiful. I mean, she's got every right to wear it, so yeah. *shrug*
Chandra Wilson: HORRIBLE. I love metallics a shitload, too, but there's a right way to wear them and there's...this.
Becki Newton: I likey. Very interesting.
Eva Longoria: Great dress, and does she ever not look gorgeous?
Brittany Snow: Fucking fabulous. Like I said, I love me some metallics, and this is so the right way to wear 'em. Second-best-dressed of the night.
Jenna Fischer: Oh how I love Pam Beesley and covet her pretty pretty red hair (and her pretty pretty boyfriend). I liked her dress a lot too, but it wasn't blow-your-mind fantastic.
Mindy Kaling: Kelly would shriek in horror, Mindy. You should have ironed it and made it not quite so tight.
Nikki Blonsky: It's so...bright.
Debra Messing & Christina Applegate: Debra's a meh? I like gold dresses, but this one just seemed odd, plus the hair is horrendous. However, Christina was the best-dressed of the night. That dress is pretty simple, but awesome.
Amanda Bynes: Fantastic color, good chest-area (the patterning, you pervs), but I hate the hemline and I don't like the hair. So, meh.
Ana Ortiz: It looks like it got a little staticky in the dryer and is sticking to itself, but I still really like it for some reason.
Andrea Bowen: It's fine until it hits the mid-thigh. Then, it turns terrible, just because they feel the need to change the texture or whatever.
Sara Ramirez & Brooke Smith: Sara's is great because that color is faaantastic. Brooke's is horrible. It looks like a combination between lingerie (not appropriate for the red carpet), weird body hair (I don't think girls want to call up that association), and the black webbing stuff from Spider-Man 3.
Lisa Rinna: Leopard print? Really? :(

OSCARS
Johnny Depp & Vanessa Paradis: Yeah, I still don't get Johnny Depp, and I don't think I ever will. Vanessa's dress rocks though.
Calista Flockhart: Boring, I so don't like those kinds of necklines, and terrible hair.
Nicole Kidman: It was pretty nuts. It would have been totally boring without the necklaces, though.
Casey Affleck & Summer Phoenix: HAHA, I LOVE TV GUIDE'S COMMENT. A fine dress, but, um, it needed, uh, more...coverage.
Laura Linney: Laura Linney always looks lovely. ;) This was boring, though - but I loved the necklace and fantastic hair, plus a smile to make the heavens cry.
Nancy Walls & Steve Carell: LOVE. Nancy Walls' dress isn't amazing, but hey, she pulled off satin. That's not easy.
Marion Cotillard: I don't know why people hated it. That dress was fantastic (except for the weird flower nipples).
Javier Bardem & Julian Schnabel: Javier's dreamy. Julian should never give up on the weird clothes.
Renee Zellweger: I think I said it before, but I'll say it again - her dress was amazing and flawless and had it been on someone else everyone would be freaking out about it. Just gorgeous.
Diane Lane: Kind of boring, but I liked the detail and she looked so pretty.
Ellen Page: Soooo boring... at least her SAG dress had a shape to it...
Sissy Spacek: She was there? It's odd, obviously, but she kind of pulls it off. Yaaayyy Sissy.
Cate Blanchett: I loved it, but apparently many didn't. Whatever, it's awesome.
Colin Farrell: COMB YOUR HAIR.
Tilda Swinton: Yeah, it's totally weird and kind of horrible, but let's face it, were we expecting anything less? I would have been so disappointed if she showed up in like, your average gown...
George Clooney & Sarah Larson: George = AHHHHH, GEORGE. He will never not look flawless. Sarah Larson's a very pretty girl and she has a very pretty dress, but it looks a little like...a really expensive rug.
Katherine Heigl: Flawless and gorgeous. Great hair too.
Jennifer Garner: She needed to get her hair out of her face, and she's worn better things at, like, movie premieres (hey, anyone remember The Kingdom????!!!!), but this is still a great dress. Fantastic alternative to the basic black.
Julie Christie: I love what TV Guide said about the outfit not being great, but that she still looks fantastic. It's all true. That said, the outfit would be much better without the gloves or pin, and if it came to a better point on her legs. And obviously, without the wrinkles.
Keisha Whitaker: She's gorgeous. This is much better than that dress she had last year. I love basic white/black dresses with fun, interesting details.
Keri Russell: Kind of boring, and I didn't like the hair.
Hilary Swank, Spike Lee, and Wesley Snipes: What a weird group. Anyway, I loved Hilary's dress, and Spike and Wesley looked bizarre but they should never change.
Alan Arkin & wife: Meh? I like his wife's dress but those gloves are awful. Gloves are always awful!!!
Penelope Cruz: She still doesn't do it for me. I think she looks like a chipmunk, and the dress really didn't need the part with the feathers at the knees.
Viggo Mortensen: Again, fucking with the hotness. And TV Guide's caption is too funny.
Cameron Diaz: It needed some ironing, but I really liked it. It looked really soft and pretty, and I thought it made it interesting and gave her some more curves.
P. Diddy & Faye Dunaway (!??!?!?!): Faye is actually kind of...pulling that dress off...
Daniel Day-Lewis & Rebecca Miller: Yup, what they were wearing was insane. But I and others have talked about this, so yeah.
Dennis Hopper & date: Haha, Dennis Hopper. I actually think what his date is wearing is pretty damn fantastic, even if it could be a little less baggy on the top.
Helen Mirren: Fucking amazing dress. I don't really like sleeves on dresses usually, but this was a totally great and original way to work them in. Does she ever not look amazing?
Hilary Swank: ...yeah we went over this already
Jessica Alba: It probably would have been better without the feathers, and nothing will top that gold dress she wore a few years ago, but this was still great. She's just so pretty.
Jennifer Hudson: It looked extraordinarily cheap.
Marlee Matlin: That's a totally adorable picture of her, and I like her dress (part of it is obscured, so I can't really see it).
Anne Hathaway: It's a great dress, but ... she's just not pulling it off somehow. I like to think that this is for a reason other than I just don't like her, but yeah, probably not. Anne Hathaway needs to wear less makeup; her features are already huge, and with tons of lipstick and eye makeup, she looks like a friggin' cartoon. It's only when she looks more natural that I think, "Okay, I can kinda see where people are coming from when they say she's gorgeous...sort of...okay not really, but at least she looks pretty." Yes, my inner thoughts are so complex.
Amy Adams: Loved the color and the hair (any time anyone has red hair, it is guaranteed I will love their hair), but the cut is a little...I dunno. It's good, but not amazing. But she's, you know, Jesus, so all is forgiven.
Amy Ryan: Very simple, borderline boring. If it was black, it would be a snoozer, but being navy keeps it just good enough.
Jason Bateman & Amanda Anka: Bateman is suave, and I love him and find him innately charming so I was all like :( over the use of him in Juno. Her dress is...odd. I don't like it.
Diablo Cody: Yup, it's insane. But, like Tilda Swinton, I wouldn't have expected any less.
Gary Busey & date: Busey actually looks okay for an insane man. His date's dress is awful.
James McAvoy & Anne-Marie Duff: James needs to shave and fix his hair, because he looks kind of terrible, and he'll be so much hotter (c'mon James, I've seen you do it). His wife's dress is a great color and shape, but the ruffles are bad.
Kristin Chenoweth: Is it really see-through? Yikes.
Lisa Rinna: Similar cut to Amy Adams', but way more boring because it's navy. Looking closer, though, it does have some interesting details on the bodice.
Melora Hardin: Why does she always wear insane things? (I guess it's because Jan aspires to be a whore.) This isn't as insane or unsalvagable as the SAG one, though. In fact, without the sleeves and the tassels (oh God, the tassels!), I think I would love it.
Miley Cyrus: I actually liked it. I thought it was a really pretty shade of red, but also actually age-appropriate and a cute cut. Much better than the Grammy ensemble I saw where she was wearing 2058068 pounds of makeup.
Patrick Dempsey & Jillian Dempsey: Patrick is much like the Clooney in that he's suave and always looks fantastic. Jillian's dress is kinda boring, but it's a great color.
Seth Rogen & Jonah Hill: Yeahhhh.
Saoirse Ronan: It's a nice color, but a weird cut. I don't like the sleeves or the detail under the bust.
Heidi Klum & Seal: Gorgeous couple. Her dress is kinda nuts, but I still like it...
Kelly Preston & John Travolta: John sprayed on his hair. Kelly's dress is a nice color but I hate the hem.
Tom Wilkinson & his daughter Alice: What's up with his daughter's bag? I see people carrying that thing to class every day!

THEEEEE ENDDDD.