Here they are, via TV Guide.
Julie Louis-Dreyfus: Stunning. I usually hate the little underboob cut-out things, but fantastic.
Jennifer Love Hewitt: Wow, I didn't see anyone talking about her dress, and I absolutely love it. Her hair's a total mess, though.
Holly Hunter: I like it - it's a fantastic color that you don't really see a lot - but it's a little prom-my.
Glenn Close: WTF is this? Does it need a like, crazy spiderweb cape? It would have been much better, if not very interesting, with just the dress alone.
Teri Hatcher: It's a great color, and it's okay until the knees or so. I dunno. It's just a very bad length to cut the dress off at.
Brooke Shields: FABULOUS.
Vanessa Williams: Awful. Did she make this dress out of a carpet or something?
Jenna Fischer: Oh, Pam, you know I love you, but this dress makes you look terribly bloated and like you have no waist. The color's also kind of cheap-looking. I like her hair, though.
Kate Walsh: The dress isn't my favorite, but it's an interesting take on boring ol' black. Love her hair/makeup.
Mary-Louise Parker: It's a fantastic color and she looks absolutely great in it. And not mildly stoned! Wow!
Mariska Hargitay: I think I'm reading that people don't like this... what? I think it's absolutely fantastic. It's a great color and cut, and she looks really really youthful.
Christina Applegate: That's a crazy dress, but she looks absolutely amazing.
Kathy Griffin: Hideous.
Tina Fey: It's simple and kind of boring, but she looks fantastic in it.
Heidi Klum: It's great (I am a magpie and drawn to anything sparkly), but like Glenn, it would have been much better without the silly cape thing.
Sandra Oh: I actually love it. Much like her one-time Grey's Anatomy co-star Walsh, it's a very interesting take on boring black (and honestly, a boring cut too).
Olivia Wilde: This is like some terrible prom-dress-cum-wedding-dress. It's boring and it washes her out.
Rainn Wilson: Uh, okay. It's a tux. I agree with the writers of these blurbs that he actually looks pretty good in glasses.
Kathleen Robertson: I don't know who that is, but this dress is okay. Again, pretty boring. I like what I can see of her earrings, though!
Debra Messing: It looks kind of like a garbage bag but A REALLY FANTASTIC GARBAGE BAG THAT I WOULD TOTALLY WEAR.
Lisa Edelstein: If the pattern was on her entire dress, it might work. As is, especially with the somehow annoying "gee, aren't I cute!" stance she has, she looks like a friggin' lamp.
Jaime Bergman: All these white dresses are somehow yawn-enducing, while the black ones rock. Huh. Who knew?
America Ferrera: I love her, she's gorgeous, and her hair and makeup is perfect. However, this looks like a garbage bag, but unlike Debra Messing's, SO NOT a garbage bag I would wear. It's a bad dress.
Nicollette Sheridan: ...wha-what? Nicollette Sheridan actually looks great at an awards show? And she's got an amazing, envy-worthy dress? I AM SO CONFUSED.
Melora Hardin: I like the dress, except that the pendant/gathering seems to fall at a weird part of her body, but her makeup and hair are way too much and far too severe. Eeek, Crazy!Jan attacks even on the red carpet ;)
Chandra Wilson: It's a boring dress, it makes her look huge and stumpy, and the attempts to make it interesting (the slit, the ... jewel-thing? what are those?) are kind of awkward. Sorry, Bailey.
Cynthia Nixon: It's not very interesting, but the color's gorgeous and you don't see it often.
Alan Cumming: Uh, what?
Angela Kinsey: For me, she's the best-dressed of the Office ladies! It's not an amazing dress, but it's pretty, a good color, and certainly better than what most of the others were sporting.
Lauren Conrad: Yawn. Didn't she design this? Ooh, it proves she can put a bunch of black fabric together and then stick an awkward brooch on it. Good for her.
Kate Flannery: Hey, she looks great, too! I would have preferred if her dress had stayed sleek the whole way down as opposed to "flaring out" at the bottom, but I do like it.
Julie Benz: Besides the color, which is a little too much, it's pretty... meh.
Steve Carell & Nancy Wals: <333333333333333 I love Nancy's dress too, because I love really interesting black/gray dresses. (Someday you will win an Emmy, Steve. ;_; )
Cheryl Hines: It's an interesting white dress! Run for the hills! I feel like she's too old for it, though...
Lee Majors & Faith Majors: I think I like her dress, but I can't really see enough of it to fully judge.
Padma Lakshmi: In theory, it's a great dress... but she looks really awkward and lumpy (okay, I stole that from the writers of these blurbs).
Neil Patrick Harris & David Burtka: Awww. <333333333 (NPH, I'm so sad you lost!!!!)
Eva Longoria Parker: Am I the only one who loves this? I think so. I get that it's kind of shapeless but I think it's really interesting...
Dae Kim & Mia Kim: I LOOOOOOOOVE her dress. Plus, it looks actually wearable in real life if you make it like knee-length. Must. Steal. It. Now.
Christina Hendricks: Boobtastic! The color's amazing too. Hey, Jenna! See how this worked for the other redhead with giant boobs? Try this next year!
Laura Dern: It's very prommy, but I still like it. She might be a little too old for it, though.
Kristin Chenoweth: Soooooo booooooriiiiiiinggggg.............
Kyra Sedgwick: It's very boring, save the horrible - and I gotta steal this one from the people who write these blurbs - "evil, jagged sequin monsters that are trying to eat her boobs." So, overall, no, I don't like it.
Elisabeth Moss: Love it. Very flapper-esque.
Evangeline Lilly: I find her boring and not very pretty, but I like this dress. It's an interesting pattern that actually works.
Hayden Panettiere: Age-appropriate black? Hayden rocks.
Elizabeth Mitchell: This is absolutely awful. It looks like armor and it's really unflattering. Her necklace is terrible and too chunky too, and her hair is blah.
Lisa Rinna: Is this dress a tablecloth? Cuz it looks like it. Joey Fatone is making me laugh a lot though.
Blah. Oh, and about the Emmys... uh, sad The Office won nothing, but hey, look on the bright side: at least Two and a Half Men didn't either!
Julie Louis-Dreyfus: Stunning. I usually hate the little underboob cut-out things, but fantastic.
Jennifer Love Hewitt: Wow, I didn't see anyone talking about her dress, and I absolutely love it. Her hair's a total mess, though.
Holly Hunter: I like it - it's a fantastic color that you don't really see a lot - but it's a little prom-my.
Glenn Close: WTF is this? Does it need a like, crazy spiderweb cape? It would have been much better, if not very interesting, with just the dress alone.
Teri Hatcher: It's a great color, and it's okay until the knees or so. I dunno. It's just a very bad length to cut the dress off at.
Brooke Shields: FABULOUS.
Vanessa Williams: Awful. Did she make this dress out of a carpet or something?
Jenna Fischer: Oh, Pam, you know I love you, but this dress makes you look terribly bloated and like you have no waist. The color's also kind of cheap-looking. I like her hair, though.
Kate Walsh: The dress isn't my favorite, but it's an interesting take on boring ol' black. Love her hair/makeup.
Mary-Louise Parker: It's a fantastic color and she looks absolutely great in it. And not mildly stoned! Wow!
Mariska Hargitay: I think I'm reading that people don't like this... what? I think it's absolutely fantastic. It's a great color and cut, and she looks really really youthful.
Christina Applegate: That's a crazy dress, but she looks absolutely amazing.
Kathy Griffin: Hideous.
Tina Fey: It's simple and kind of boring, but she looks fantastic in it.
Heidi Klum: It's great (I am a magpie and drawn to anything sparkly), but like Glenn, it would have been much better without the silly cape thing.
Sandra Oh: I actually love it. Much like her one-time Grey's Anatomy co-star Walsh, it's a very interesting take on boring black (and honestly, a boring cut too).
Olivia Wilde: This is like some terrible prom-dress-cum-wedding-dress. It's boring and it washes her out.
Rainn Wilson: Uh, okay. It's a tux. I agree with the writers of these blurbs that he actually looks pretty good in glasses.
Kathleen Robertson: I don't know who that is, but this dress is okay. Again, pretty boring. I like what I can see of her earrings, though!
Debra Messing: It looks kind of like a garbage bag but A REALLY FANTASTIC GARBAGE BAG THAT I WOULD TOTALLY WEAR.
Lisa Edelstein: If the pattern was on her entire dress, it might work. As is, especially with the somehow annoying "gee, aren't I cute!" stance she has, she looks like a friggin' lamp.
Jaime Bergman: All these white dresses are somehow yawn-enducing, while the black ones rock. Huh. Who knew?
America Ferrera: I love her, she's gorgeous, and her hair and makeup is perfect. However, this looks like a garbage bag, but unlike Debra Messing's, SO NOT a garbage bag I would wear. It's a bad dress.
Nicollette Sheridan: ...wha-what? Nicollette Sheridan actually looks great at an awards show? And she's got an amazing, envy-worthy dress? I AM SO CONFUSED.
Melora Hardin: I like the dress, except that the pendant/gathering seems to fall at a weird part of her body, but her makeup and hair are way too much and far too severe. Eeek, Crazy!Jan attacks even on the red carpet ;)
Chandra Wilson: It's a boring dress, it makes her look huge and stumpy, and the attempts to make it interesting (the slit, the ... jewel-thing? what are those?) are kind of awkward. Sorry, Bailey.
Cynthia Nixon: It's not very interesting, but the color's gorgeous and you don't see it often.
Alan Cumming: Uh, what?
Angela Kinsey: For me, she's the best-dressed of the Office ladies! It's not an amazing dress, but it's pretty, a good color, and certainly better than what most of the others were sporting.
Lauren Conrad: Yawn. Didn't she design this? Ooh, it proves she can put a bunch of black fabric together and then stick an awkward brooch on it. Good for her.
Kate Flannery: Hey, she looks great, too! I would have preferred if her dress had stayed sleek the whole way down as opposed to "flaring out" at the bottom, but I do like it.
Julie Benz: Besides the color, which is a little too much, it's pretty... meh.
Steve Carell & Nancy Wals: <333333333333333 I love Nancy's dress too, because I love really interesting black/gray dresses. (Someday you will win an Emmy, Steve. ;_; )
Cheryl Hines: It's an interesting white dress! Run for the hills! I feel like she's too old for it, though...
Lee Majors & Faith Majors: I think I like her dress, but I can't really see enough of it to fully judge.
Padma Lakshmi: In theory, it's a great dress... but she looks really awkward and lumpy (okay, I stole that from the writers of these blurbs).
Neil Patrick Harris & David Burtka: Awww. <333333333 (NPH, I'm so sad you lost!!!!)
Eva Longoria Parker: Am I the only one who loves this? I think so. I get that it's kind of shapeless but I think it's really interesting...
Dae Kim & Mia Kim: I LOOOOOOOOVE her dress. Plus, it looks actually wearable in real life if you make it like knee-length. Must. Steal. It. Now.
Christina Hendricks: Boobtastic! The color's amazing too. Hey, Jenna! See how this worked for the other redhead with giant boobs? Try this next year!
Laura Dern: It's very prommy, but I still like it. She might be a little too old for it, though.
Kristin Chenoweth: Soooooo booooooriiiiiiinggggg.............
Kyra Sedgwick: It's very boring, save the horrible - and I gotta steal this one from the people who write these blurbs - "evil, jagged sequin monsters that are trying to eat her boobs." So, overall, no, I don't like it.
Elisabeth Moss: Love it. Very flapper-esque.
Evangeline Lilly: I find her boring and not very pretty, but I like this dress. It's an interesting pattern that actually works.
Hayden Panettiere: Age-appropriate black? Hayden rocks.
Elizabeth Mitchell: This is absolutely awful. It looks like armor and it's really unflattering. Her necklace is terrible and too chunky too, and her hair is blah.
Lisa Rinna: Is this dress a tablecloth? Cuz it looks like it. Joey Fatone is making me laugh a lot though.
Blah. Oh, and about the Emmys... uh, sad The Office won nothing, but hey, look on the bright side: at least Two and a Half Men didn't either!
