You know you want it.

Hey, Academy. Remember that time you gave Jennifer Connelly the Oscar over four performances that completely towered over her, while she was Razzie-worthy? And remember how you didn't give Martin Scorsese an Oscar until 2006? And remember how you didn't give Spike Lee an Oscar ever? And remember how you only gave Lost in Translation and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Best Original Screenplay? And remember how Bill Murray didn't win for the former? And how Scarlett Johansson wasn't even nominated? Well, if you do this little favor for me, I will forgive you for all this shit.

PS. Christie will do too.
PPS. Or Page, too. I guess.
PPPS. Please, not Marion. (Though I'm prepared to accept it.)
PPPPS. If Cate Blanchett upsets here, I am officially throwing something at the TV.

experiment #1

Someone to hold you too close.
Someone to hurt you too deep.
Someone to sit in your chair
To ruin your sleep --

Those poor things known as "the nominations for musical/comedy"

So we can all agree that Musical/Comedy is a pretty ignored category through the years. So, here are my personal nominations in that category for every year. Note: I was pretty broad with my definition of "musical/comedy..." Here is where I'm willing to call utter fraud (Ray ain't a comedy, and it isn't really a musical, but... Lost in Translation's status as a comedy can be debated, but...). In order of preference.

2000
Best Picture
Best in Show
Wonder Boys
Nurse Betty
Dancer in the Dark
American Psycho (some kind of crazy and demented comedy, but a comedy.)

Best Actor
Christian Bale, American Psycho
Michael Douglas, Wonder Boys
George Clooney, O Brother, Where Art Thou?
John Cusack, High Fidelity
Samuel L. Jackson, Shaft (err...it's sort of a comedy, no?)

Best Actress
Renee Zellweger, Nurse Betty
There are no other okay candidates. Seriously. Bjork was awful.

Best Supporting Actor
Willem Dafoe, Shadow of the Vampire
Jeffrey Wright, Shaft (he should have been on my Gods of Acting post from yesterday. I'M SORRY, JEFF! :( )
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Almost Famous
Jack Black, High Fidelity
Robert Downey Jr., Wonder Boys

Best Supporting Actress
Parker Posey, Best in Show
Catherine Deneuve, Dancer in the Dark
Frances McDormand, Almost Famous
Frances McDormand, Wonder Boys
Kate Hudson, Almost Famous


2001
Best Picture
Moulin Rouge!
Gosford Park
Shrek
Zoolander
Bridget Jones' Diary

Best Actor
Ewan McGregor, Moulin Rouge!
Gene Hackman, The Royal Tenenbaums
John Cameron Mitchell, Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Ben Stiller, Zoolander
Ray Winstone, Sexy Beast (pitch-black comedy...)

Best Actress
Nicole Kidman, Moulin Rouge!
Renee Zellweger, Bridget Jones' Diary
Reese Witherspoon, Legally Blonde
Piper Perabo, Lost and Delirious (comedy...?)
Kirsten Dunst, The Cat's Meow

Best Supporting Actor
Ben Kingsley, Sexy Beast
Steve Buscemi, Ghost World
Jim Broadbent, Moulin Rouge!
Will Ferrell, Zoolander
Luke Wilson, The Royal Tenenbaums

Best Supporting Actress
Gwyneth Paltrow, The Royal Tenenbaums
Helen Mirren, Gosford Park
Maggie Smith, Gosford Park
Scarlett Johansson, Ghost World
Emily Watson, Gosford Park


2002
Best Picture
Chicago
Adaptation.
About Schmidt
Catch Me If You Can (another debatable comedy)
Secretary

Best Actor
Jack Nicholson, About Schmidt
Campbell Scott, Roger Dodger
Nicolas Cage, Adaptation.
Leonardo DiCaprio, Catch Me If You Can
Hugh Grant, About a Boy

Best Actress
Maggie Gyllenhaal, Secretary
Renee Zellweger, Chicago
Catherine Keener, Lovely and Amazing
Jennifer Aniston, The Good Girl
Jennifer Westfeldt, Kissing Jessica Stein

Best Supporting Actor
Chris Cooper, Adaptation.
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Punch-Drunk Love
Christopher Walken, Catch Me If You Can
John C. Reilly, Chicago
Ian Somerhalder, Rules of Attraction

Best Supporting Actress
Catherine Zeta-Jones, Chicago
Meryl Streep, Adaptation.
Emily Watson, Punch-Drunk Love
Emily Mortimer, Lovely and Amazing
Toni Collette, About a Boy


2003
Best Picture
Lost in Translation
Finding Nemo
Big Fish
Love Actually
The Company ("musical")

Best Actor
Bill Murray, Lost in Translation
Robert Downey Jr., The Singing Detective
Paul Giamatti, American Splendor
Jack Black, School of Rock
George Clooney, Intolerable Cruelty

Best Actress
Scarlett Johansson, Lost in Translation
Jamie Lee Curtis, Freaky Friday
Renee Zellweger, Down with Love
Helen Mirren, Calendar Girls
Diane Lane, Under the Tuscan Sun

Best Supporting Actor
Bill Nighy, Love Actually
Hugh Grant, Love Actually
Albert Finney, Big Fish
Colin Firth, Love Actually
Geoffrey Rush, Pirates of the Carribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl

Best Supporting Actress
Catherine O'Hara, A Mighty Wind
Ellen DeGeneres, Finding Nemo
Emma Thompson, Love Actually
Laura Linney, Love Actually
Anna Faris, Lost in Translation


2004
Best Picture
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Mean Girls
Sideways
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
Anchorman

Best Actor
Paul Giamatti, Sideways
Jamie Foxx, Ray
Jim Carrey, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Bill Murray, The Life Aquatic...
Will Ferrell, Anchorman

Best Actress
Kate Winslet, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Laura Linney, P.S. (comedy?)
Jennifer Garner, 13 Going on 30
Lindsay Lohan, Mean Girls
Holly Hunter, The Incredibles

Best Supporting Actor
Jude Law, I Heart Huckabees
Steve Carell, Anchorman
Thomas Haden Church, Sideways
Tom Wilkinson, Eternal Sunshine...
Topher Grace, In Good Company

Best Supporting Actress
Virginia Madsen, Sideways
Kirsten Dunst, Eternal Sunshine...
Rachel McAdams, Mean Girls
Natalie Portman, Garden State
Lacey Chabert, Mean Girls


2005
Best Picture
Pride and Prejudice
The Squid and the Whale
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Wedding Crashers
Broken Flowers

Best Actor
Steve Carell, The 40-Year-Old Virgin
Robert Downey Jr., Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Bill Murray, Broken Flowers
Terrence Howard, Hustle and Flow ("musical")
Joaquin Phoenix, Walk the Line

Best Actress
Reese Witherspoon, Walk the Line
Keira Knightley, Pride and Prejudice
Lisa Kudrow, Happy Endings
Toni Collette, In Her Shoes
Radha Mitchell, Melinda and Melinda (half comedy's good enough, huh ;) )

Best Supporting Actor
Jesse L. Martin, Rent
Donald Sutherland, Pride and Prejudice
Jeff Daniels, The Squid and the Whale
Vince Vaughn, Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Jeffrey Wright, Broken Flowers

Best Supporting Actress
Laura Linney, The Squid and the Whale
Rosario Dawson, Rent
Maggie Gyllenhaal, Happy Endings
Isla Fisher, Wedding Crashers
Catherine Keener, The 40-Year-Old Virgin


2006
Best Picture
Marie-Antoinette ("comedy")
Borat
Dreamgirls
Volver
Little Miss Sunshine

Best Actor
Sacha Baron Cohen, Borat
Peter O'Toole, Venus
Aaron Eckhart, Thank You For Smoking
Joe Cross, Running with Scissors
Will Ferrell, Stranger than Fiction

Best Actress
Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada
Kirsten Dunst, Marie-Antoinette
Melinda Page Hamilton, Sleeping Dogs Lie
Catherine O'Hara, For Your Consideration
Jennifer Hudson, Dreamgirls

Best Supporting Actor
Steve Carell, Little Miss Sunshine
Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls
Greg Kinnear, Little Miss Sunshine
Stanley Tucci, The Devil Wears Prada
Woody Allen, Scoop

Best Supporting Actress (suck it Emily Blunt)
Maggie Gyllenhaal, Stranger than Fiction
Toni Collette, Little Miss Sunshine
Abigail Breslin, Little Miss Sunshine
Kate Winslet, Romance and Cigarettes
Emma Thompson, Stranger than Fiction



YAY, DONE. And yes, I had to scrape the bottom of the barrel for some of these, but some are actually better than the corresponding categories in drama (Best Supporting Actress 04)

I just love her. I can't help it.

1. eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
2. the virgin suicides
3. marie-antoinette
4. interview with the vampire
5. crazy/beautiful
6. drop dead gorgeous
7. dick
8. spider-man 2
9. bring it on
10. spider-man 3
11. the cat's meow
12. spider-man
13. wimbledon
14. mona lisa smile
15. elizabethtown (i love ya, kris, but...worthy of a razzie)

and the rest of my awards...

...with the Oscar nominees cut out (yeah yeah I know, I'll comment on the guys later)

2004
Best Picture
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Kill Bill, Vol. 2
Bad Education
Mean Girls
Dogville

Best Director
Quentin Tarantino, Kill Bill, Vol. 2
Michael Gondry, Eternal Sunshine...
Lars von Trier, Dogville
Michael Mann, Collateral
Alfonso Cuaron, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Best Actor
Paul Giamatti, Sideways
Kevin Bacon, The Woodsman
Jeff Bridges, The Door in the Floor
Gael Garcia Bernal, Bad Education
Jim Carrey, Eternal Sunshine...

Best Actress
Nicole Kidman, Dogville
Uma Thurman, Kill Bill, Vol. 2
Laura Linney, P.S.
Abbie Cornish, Somersault (2005?)
Vera Farmiga, Down to the Bone (2005? And yes, I saw these both very recently)

Best Supporting Actor
Jude Law, I Heart Huckabees
Steve Carell, Anchorman
David Carradine, Kill Bill, Vol. 2
Peter Sarsgaard, Kinsey
Paul Bettany, Dogville

Best Supporting Actress
Kirsten Dunst, Eternal Sunshine...
Kyra Sedgwick, The Woodsman
Daryl Hannah, Kill Bill, Vol. 2
Rachel McAdams, Mean Girls
Lily Tomlin, I Heart Huckabees


2005
Best Picture
The Constant Gardener
A History of Violence
Pride and Prejudice
The Squid and the Whale
Sin City

Best Director
David Cronenberg, A History of Violence
Michael Haneke, Cache
Fernando Meirelles, The Constant Gardener
Robert Rodriguez et al., Sin City
Woody Allen, Match Point

Best Actor
Viggo Mortensen, A History of Violence
Ralph Fiennes, The Constant Gardener
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Mysterious Skin
Steve Carell, The 40-Year-Old Virgin
Robert Downey Jr., Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Best Actress
Q'Orianka Kilcher, The New World
Yeong-ae Lee, Sympathy for Lady Vengeance
Gwyneth Paltrow, Proof
Embeth Davidtz, Junebug
Claire Danes, Shopgirl

Best Supporting Actor
Jesse L. Martin, Rent
Clifton Collins Jr., Capote
Mickey Rourke, Sin City
Michael Pena, Crash
Donald Sutherland, Pride and Prejudice

Best Supporting Actress
Laura Linney, The Squid and the Whale
Maria Bello, A History of Violence
Rosario Dawson, Rent
Ziyi Zhang, 2046
Maggie Gyllenhaal, Happy Endings


2006
Best Picture
Marie-Antoinette
Children of Men

Inside Man

Borat

The Fountain

Best Director
Darren Aronofsky, The Fountain
Alfonso Cuaron, Children of Men
Sofia Coppola, Marie-Antoinette
Spike Lee, Inside Man
Guillermo del Toro, Pan's Labyrinth

Best Actor
Hugh Jackman, The Fountain
Sacha Baron Cohen, Borat
Matt Damon, The Departed
Clive Owen, Children of Men
Daniel Craig, Casino Royale

Best Actress (still far from 100% sure about my final lineup)
Laura Dern, Inland Empire
Naomi Watts, The Painted Veil
Rachel Weisz, The Fountain
Maggie Gyllenhaal, Sherrybaby
Kirsten Dunst, Marie-Antoinette

Best Supporting Actor
Steve Carell, Little Miss Sunshine
Robert Downey Jr., A Scanner Darkly
Alec Baldwin, The Departed
Michael Sheen, The Queen (cuz everyone hearts category fraud)
Clive Owen, Inside Man

Best Supporting Actress
Mia Kirshner, The Black Dahlia
Shareeka Epps, Half Nelson (again, yay category fraud)
Claire Hope-Ashitey, Children of Men
Maggie Gyllenhaal, Stranger than Fiction
Julianne Moore, Children of Men

Kirsten Dunst

...is, in fact, a hugely talented actress when she wants to be. I'm watching Eternal Sunshine right now and marveling over how good she is. She might be better than Carrey (there's no way she's better than Winslet, but, like, extremely few performances are). The twist in Eternal Sunshine is so great. Why? Because nobody ever talks about it. Why? Because the movie has so many other positive aspects, it doesn't need to rely on the twist.

(this post is in spite of the fact that she dumped Jake Gyllenhaal for being "too boring" or whatever. That's just dumb. But her acting isn't.)

I enjoy awards.

So today, instead of doing my work, I wrote down my winners for Best Picture, Actor, Actress, Supporting Actor, and Supporting Actress from 1990-2006, and ranked them. Keep in mind, these are all subject to change and often, ranking these were extremely difficult - I mean, look at the Best Actor list. Jeremy Irons in last place??

Best Picture
1. Pulp Fiction (1994)
2. American Beauty (1999)
3. Angels in America (2003)
4. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
5. Schindler's List (1993)
6. Moulin Rouge! (2001)
7. Chicago (2002)
8. Goodfellas (1990)
9. The Departed (2006)
10. The Player (1992)
11. The Usual Suspects (1995)
12. Boogie Nights (1997)
13. Shakespeare in Love (1998)
14. Requiem for a Dream (2000)
15. The English Patient (1996)
16. A History of Violence (2005)
17. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Best Actor
1. Kevin Spacey in American Beauty (1999)
2. Ian McKellen in Gods and Monsters (1998)
3. Clive Owen in Closer (2004)
4. River Phoenix in My Own Private Idaho (1991)
5. Denzel Washington in Malcolm X (1992)
6. Jack Nicholson in About Schmidt (2002)
7. Bill Murray in Lost in Translation (2003)
8. Ian Holm in The Sweet Hereafter (1997)
9. Robert Downey Jr. in "I Want Love" (2001)
10. Nicolas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
11. Christian Bale in American Psycho (2000)
12. Heath Ledger in Brokeback Mountain (2005)
13. Liam Neeson in Schindler's List (1993)
14. Ryan Gosling in Half Nelson (2006)
15. Jeffrey Wright in Basquiat (1996)
16. Paul Newman in Nobody's Fool (1994)
17. Jeremy Irons in Reversal of Fortune (1990)

Best Actress
1. Elisabeth Shue in Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
2. Naomi Watts in Mulholland Dr. (2001)
3. Kate Winslet in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
4. Jodie Foster in Silence of the Lambs (1991)
5. Emily Watson in Breaking the Waves (1996)
6. Holly Hunter in The Piano (1993)
7. Ellen Burstyn in Requiem for a Dream (2000)
8. Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
9. Hilary Swank in Boys Don't Cry (1999)
10. Scarlett Johansson in Lost in Translation and Uma Thurman in Kill Bill, Vol. 1 (2003)
11. Angelina Jolie in Gia (1998)
12. Samantha Morton in Morvern Callar (2002)
13. Jodie Foster in Contact (1997)
14. Emma Thompson in Howards End (1992)
15. Rachel Weisz in The Constant Gardener (2005)
16. Linda Fiorentino in The Last Seduction (1994)
17. Helen Mirren in The Cook, the Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover (1990)

Best Supporting Actor
1. Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction (1994)
2. Jeffrey Wright in Angels in America (2003)
3. Jack Lemmon in Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)
4. Anthony Hopkins in The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
5. Ralph Fiennes in Schindler's List (1993)
6. Kevin Spacey in The Usual Suspects (1995)
7. Tom Cruise in Magnolia (1999)
8. Mark Ruffalo in You Can Count on Me (2000)
9. Edward Norton in Primal Fear (1996)
10. Chris Cooper in Adaptation. (2002)
11. Ben Kingsley in Sexy Beast (2001)
12. Kevin Spacey in L.A. Confidential (1997)
13. Bill Murray in Rushmore (1998)
14. Joe Pesci in Goodfellas (1990)
15. Clive Owen in Inside Man (2006)
16. Jude Law in I Heart Huckabees (2004)
17. Michael Pena in Crash (2005)

Best Supporting Actress
1. Jennifer Connelly in Requiem for a Dream (2000)
2. Catherine Zeta-Jones in Chicago (2002)
3. Frances McDormand in Fargo (1996)
4. Sarah Polley in The Sweet Hereafter (1997)
5. Meryl Streep in Angels in America (2003)
6. Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction (1994)
7. Kate Winslet in Iris (2001)
8. Gong Li in Farewell, My Concubine (1993)
9. Kate Winslet in Sense and Sensibility (1995)
10. Mia Kirshner in The Black Dahlia (2006)
11. Nicole Kidman in Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
12. Laura Linney in The Truman Show (1998)
13. Maria Bello in A History of Violence (2005)
14. Virginia Madsen in Sideways (2004)
15. Lorraine Brocco in Goodfellas (1990)
16. Miranda Richardson in Damage (1992)
17. Diane Ladd in Rambling Rose (1991)

and that's that

"technically speaking, the procedure IS brain damage..."

we're all going to be eternal sunshining it up soon, apparently.

when it rains, it pours.

After a week of watching shit like Derailed on TV and desperately wanting to buy Sherrybaby or Scoop or The Prestige or whatever to watch on demand, now Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is on. This AND Moulin Rouge! the night before? Movies, you are too good to me.

2004

2004 was a great year. It gave us unquestionably the best film of the new millennium, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (it's not my favorite film of the new millennium...but it's up there). In fact, that film might just be the best picture of the entire 99-06 period. If not, it's up there with American Beauty, Lost in Translation, the Kill Bill opus, and the other masterpieces this time period has offered.

Best Picture
1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
2. Kill Bill, Vol. 2
3. Sideways
4. Kinsey *
5. Dogville
6. Spider-Man 2
7. Bad Education
8. Before Sunset
9. Mean Girls
10. Collateral

Best Director
1. Quentin Tarantino for Kill Bill, Vol. 2
2. Michael Gondry for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
3. Mike Leigh for Vera Drake
4. Lars Von Trier for Dogville
5. Martin Scorsese for The Aviator
6. Zhang Yimou for Hero and House of Flying Daggers
7. Alfonso Cuaron for Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
8. Michael Mann for Collateral
9. Sam Raimi for Spider-Man 2
10. Alexander Payne for Sideways

Best Actor (tremendous year, one of the best ever for lead male acting)
1. Clive Owen in Closer (<3333. Best male performance of the new millennium)
2. Paul Giamatti in Sideways
3. Jamie Foxx in Ray (totally amazing and deserving of his Oscar win)
4. Don Cheadle in Hotel Rwanda
5. Jeff Bridges in The Door in the Floor
6. Kevin Bacon in The Woodsman
7. Gael Garcia Bernal in Bad Education
8. Jim Carrey in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
9. Liam Neeson in Kinsey
10. Christian Bale in The Machinist
(seriously. what a ridiculously strong year)

Best Actress (also very very strong)
1. Kate Winslet in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
2. Nicole Kidman in Dogville
3. Uma Thurman in Kill Bill, Vol. 2
4. Imelda Staunton in Vera Drake
5. Nicole Kidman in Birth
6. Laura Linney in P.S...
7. Catalina Sandino Moreno in Maria Full of Grace
8. Julie Delpy in Before Sunset
9. Jennifer Garner in 13 Going on 30 (shut it)
10. Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls (doubly shut it)

Best Supporting Actor
1. Jude Law in I Heart Huckabees
2. Morgan Freeman in Million Dollar Baby (OMG I LIKE THE OSCAR WINNER! I MUST BE SHAMED!)
3. David Carradine in Kill Bill, Vol. 2
4. Thomas Haden Church in Sideways
5. Peter Sarsgaard in Kinsey
6. Paul Bettany in Dogville
7. Liev Schrieber in The Manchurian Candidate
8. Tom Wilkinson in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
9. Topher Grace in In Good Company
10. Antonio Banderas in Shrek 2

Best Supporting Actress
1. Virginia Madsen in Sideways
2. Natalie Portman in Garden State (her role in Closer is not supporting; she's #12 for the lead ladies)
3. Laura Linney in Kinsey
4. Darryl Hannah in Kill Bill, Vol. 2
5. Kirsten Dunst in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
6. Rachel McAdams in Mean Girls
7. Cate Blanchett in Coffee and Cigarettes (yes, she was better here, and undeserving of her Oscar)
8. Lily Tomlin in I Heart Huckabees
9. Meryl Streep in The Manchurian Candidate
10. Sandra Oh in Sideways

Best Screenplay
1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
2. Kill Bill, Vol. 2
3. Sideways
4. Kinsey *
5. Before Sunset
6. Mean Girls
7. Dogville
8. I Heart Huckabees
9. Bad Education
10. Closer

* Yes, Kinsey. Probably the most underrated film of the entire new millennium. It's flawlessly acted, very funny and smart, and I dunno. Most biopics, even those with greater acclaim from this very year (I'm looking at you Ray and Finding Neverland!), weren't interesting. This one was. Maybe the subject matter helped? I dunno. All I know is I think it's a great movie, and probably the best biopic that's the typical big, sprawling, someone's-entire-life-in-two-and-a-half-hours, Oscarbait type (as opposed to Raging Bull, Amadeus, and Marie-Antoinette, more slice-of-life biopics).