Helen Mirren:

I'd tap that!

God, she's SO AWESOME.

oh IMDb...

Okay, so there's a post: "If Marion Cotillard's film was out last year, would she have beaten Helen Mirren?" And some people are answering "yes," even going so far as to say "definitely."

WHAT.

Did you people not learn that when the question is would any performance in history win at the Oscars vs. Helen Mirren in The Queen, the answer will, 95% of the time, be definitely not? This is especially true of upset wins. By unknown actresses. In foreign language films. With mediocre reviews. Against legendary actresses. Without Oscars. Is that enough? Should I keep going? (Why are you the way that you are?)

Best Actress '06 poses with...

... Best Actress 07??? MAKE IT HAPPEN, BITCHES!!!!

(I'm not that delusional. Quite frankly, I'm just praying for the nomination.)

I couldn't ask for a better trio.

Happy birthday to the queen...

The king of the '90s, who I may still forgive if he ever decides to do any good movies again...



...and of course, one of my favorite TV characters of all time, ARI GOLD!

Helen Mirren:

way cooler than you. But you knew that already.

I enjoy how she's apparently BFFL with Jamie Foxx (her husband did direct his Oscar-winning turn) and how Vince Vaughn looks like the fuckin' dead.

I love that woman! Seriously, way cooler than you.

Best Actress

Analyzing: Penelope Cruz, Volver
My rank among the nominees: 4th
How'd she get nominated?: Hype building for almost a year combined with the result.
Pros: The fact that she could get in with a subtitled film that didn't get other Academy support says a lot. She's hot.
Cons: They clearly didn't love the film since it was snubbed like all hell. Subtitled. "Oscar winner, Penelope Cruz?" Not Helen Mirren.
Basically, any chance of winning?: Nope. She's coming in dead last here.

Analyzing: Judi Dench, Notes on a Scandal
My rank among the nominees: 2nd
How'd she get nominated?: She's Judi Dench.
Pros: Judi Dench. Amazing performance backed up by reviews. Film got support from nominations (Blanchett, Score, Adapted Screenplay).
Cons: Not Helen Mirren. Already has an Oscar.
Basically, any chance of winning?: Nope.

Analyzing: Helen Mirren, The Queen
My rank among the nominees: 5th
How'd she get nominated?: A talented actress with no Oscar playing a real-life famous person in a Best Picture nominee prestige pic, backed up by glowing reviews?!
Pros: Virtually every damn critics award. Everyone loves her and recognizes her amazing talent but she's Oscarless. She's in a biopic. Rave, rave, rave reviews.
Cons: Um...backlash? This would have been a bigger factor already, like with Julianne Moore in 2002 with Far from Heaven. A whole bunch of critics awards, and then the Globes came and BAM! Nicole took over.
Basically, any chance of winning?: All the other nominees here have "not Helen Mirren" in their cons section for a reason.

Analyzing: Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada
My rank among the nominees: 1st
How'd she get nominated?: Meryl effin' Streep
Pros: Everyone wants to see Meryl win another Oscar...she hasn't since '83! The only American in this category. People have been talking about her non-stop since this movie came out.
Cons: Not Helen Mirren. The movie is fluffy and didn't have much other Oscar support (if she got Blunt in with her, she might have a slightly better chance).
Basically, any chance of winning?: Nope. But she's coming in (a distant) second.

Analyzing: Kate Winslet, Little Children
My rank among the nominees: 3rd
How'd she get nominated?: Kate Winslet. 5 nominations at 31?! They clearly do like her.
Pros: As I just said, 5 nominations must mean they like her, especially in stuff like Little Children which played in like one teeny little hidden theater in LA for half a week and certainly didn't get out there with an FYC campaign. At the beginning of this year, she was considered the frontrunner.
Cons: Not Helen Mirren. Teensy tiny little film.
Basically, any chance of winning?: Nope. Not Helen Mirren.

Analyzing: Best Actress as a whole
Who will win: OH GOD THIS IS SO HARD. Um...just kidding. Helen Mirren has this all sewn (sown?) up.
Who should win: Okay, I know I ranked these ladies, but it might as well be a tie. Almost always, the categories have at least one nominee that makes me go "eh" or "ugh!" Here, not at all. They might as well all be the winners! It's just a shame that in such an amazing year for actresses, the same name kept coming up.
Unlucky sixth placer: Probably Maggie Gyllenhaal in Sherrybaby...but who can tell with this year? Nobody else ever got mentioned besides these five. Ahaaaa.
Snubbed: Many people. Among the most notable/ones I liked the most, Naomi Watts in The Painted Veil, Cate Blanchett in The Good German, Laura Dern in Inland Empire, and Maggie Gyllenhaal in Sherrybaby.
Random cool fact about this category: Meryl Streep has the most nominations ever and Kate Winslet has the most nominations ever for someone her age.

so, critics' awards!

...go anyone that wasn't Helen Mirren! Love her I do (she's currently #2 in my Best Actress lineup), but...seriously. This year was just great actress-wise and it'd be fantastic to see the likes of Winslet, Dench, Streep, Li, Cruz, Gyllenhaal, Mol, Dern, O'Hara (though it looks like she's going supporting?) etc... mentioned.

Major update December 15ish when all my finals are done, AND THE GOLDEN GLOBE NOMINEES ARE ANNOUNCED!