Gammons... (sigh)

True story: I usually don't mind Peter Gammons. I'll roll my eyes at things he says on TV sometimes, but he's a very good reporter and generally actually interested in stats beyond RBI! and RUNS SCORED! and PITCHER WINS!. I'm not particularly happy he's going to be on MLB Network, though I guess they need a Red Sox homer to go along with their Yankee/Mets homer (Al Leiter), Mariners homer (Harold Reynolds), Tigers homer (Sean Casey), and Phillies homer (Mitch Williams), plus maybe he can hit Harold Reynolds so that he stops whining whenever the network tries to talk about even the most slightly advanced stats (we are talking, like, OPS here, people). For a Red Sox fan, he sure loooves Mariano Rivera (though, I was disgusted when Mariano showed up to talk to the Baseball Tonight guys on the field the night the Yankees won the World Series, and the first thing Gammons said to him was basically, "Congrats on winning the World Series. Remember the time you blew the World Series?" WOW.). Like I said, he's pretty fair and impartial. Except when it comes to the Red Sox. Then, he becomes a little ten-year-old boy in the stands at Fenway cheering for Dustin Pedroia.

Here's an article he wrote about the "young guns" in the AL East. I won't be critiquing the whole thing because it's too long and I admit to being under-aware of the Rays' system other than that they have a lot of young guys, but parts of it are just absolutely friggin' ridiculous with how much Gammo writes off the Yankees' young guys, while doing all but writing love notes to Clay Buchholz. Man, that is the hardest name to pronounce and spell...

Yanks manager Joe Girardi essentially said the same up the road in Tampa, where one of the Yankees' most significant storylines will be Phil Hughes and Joba Chamberlain: Who starts and who relieves? All winter, general manager Brian Cashman has asked for patience, hoping that between them, they have a power starter and a power setup man for Mariano Rivera.

In Port Charlotte, an hour and a half to the south of The Trop, the Rays hope that David Price and Wade Davis are ready to make the leap that Jeff Niemann made last year and that Matt Garza made in 2008, when they won the AL pennant.

And here in The Fort, at the Spring Training home of the Red Sox, Clay Buchholz reported to camp with a chiseled addition of a dozen pounds and, after pounding out nine quality starts in his last 10 appearances, is preparing to take his extraordinary stuff out for 30 starts. What that means on a staff that already has Daisuke Matsuzaka and All-Star Tim Wakefield as fourth and fifth starters, no one knows.

So, Gammons concludes:
- The Yankees are hoping they get a decent starter and a decent reliever out of their young guys. Maybe they will, maybe they won't.
- The Rays are hoping their young guys are okay. Maybe they are, maybe they're not.
- CLAY BUCHHOLZ IS THE BESTEST AND OMG HE WORKED OUT A LOT HE IS SOOOO FINE. LEGENDARY DEPTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, uh, here are Clay's last ten starts.
Aug. 19 vs. TOR: 6 IP, 1 ER (quality)
Aug. 24 vs. CHW: 4.2 IP, 7 ER (NOT QUALITY)
Aug. 29 vs. TOR: 8.1 IP, 1 ER (quality)
Sept. 3 vs. TBR: 6 IP, 3 ER (quality)
Sept. 8 vs. BAL: 7 IP, 0 ER (quality)
Sept. 13 vs. TBR: 7 IP, 1 ER (quality)
Sept. 18 vs. BAL: 6 IP, 1 ER (quality)
Sept. 24 vs. KCR: 6.2 IP, 0 ER (quality)
Sept. 29 vs. TOR: 5 IP, 7 ER (NOT QUALITY)
Oct. 4 vs. CLE: 3 IP, 6 ER (NOT QUALITY)
Try seven out of ten, Peter. I mean, that's quite good. I'd be cheering if Joba and Phil could give us stretches like that August 29-September 24 stretch (though I'd be fairly sure, without looking, that Joba had a stretch like that for at least a month). He's a young guy, he's gonna be inconsistent, but this shows a lot of promise. But let's not give blatantly wrong facts by saying nine out of ten of his starts were quality, because seven out of ten were. That's still pretty darn good, especially for a young guy, but can you not, like, lie?
I'll give him the slight benefit of the doubt that maybe he meant the Red Sox won nine out of ten of those games, because they did, including that start against the White Sox and the one against Cleveland. But Gammons is never really one to let facts get in the way of talking about how Red Sox prospects are teh awsum.

Also, don't go on about his "extraordinary stuff" and whatnot, when you're not doing that for the other teams. I can hear your heavy breathing from here, Gammo.

(And Tim Wakefield went to the All-Star Game last year for the first time in his long career - and I'm pretty sure he wasn't voted in by the fans, but Maddon brought him along, which was okay because as I said, the guy's had a long-ass career and he seems like a really really good guy - because he led the AL in WINS! with 11 at the break despite a 4.31 ERA. Greinke had 10 wins and a 2.12 ERA. Felix, 9 wins and a 2.53 ERA. Halladay, 10 wins and a 2.85 ERA. Was there really a point to that? No, but I'll never pass up the opportunity to point out how stupid pitcher wins are as a stat. Tim was an impressive 9-3 at one point... with a not-so-impressive 4.47 ERA. After the ASB, Tim never won a game again and only made four more starts, in which - SSS, to be sure - he had a 6.00 ERA and he walked more guys than he struck out.)

Girardi has been careful to remain open on the Chamberlain-Hughes issue, especially now that Vazquez is in the rotation in place of the departed Chien-Ming Wang. The numbers clearly show that either can be a sound lead-in to Rivera. Hughes is 8-9 with a 5.22 ERA as a starter in his career, and in his seven starts in 2009 -- after being called into the rotation to replace the injured Wang -- he gave up six homers, which actually may be understandable in the Bronx launching pad. But in 44 games as a reliever, he had a 1.40 ERA, allowed just 31 hits in 51 1/3 innings and carried a 13:65 walk-to-strikeout ratio.
I'm ignoring his totally predictable dig at Yankee Stadium but I'll point out that, if you look at those last two starts against Toronto and Cleveland, Buchholz gave up six home runs in two games. And Buchholz' numbers as a starter: 12-14, 4.91 ERA.
He did pretty damn well when Boston called him up in 2007, including pitching a freaking no-hitter, but since 2007, he's 9-13 with a 5.36 ERA, 1.554 WHIP, and 1.82 K/BB ratio. Now, Sox fans that aren't Gammons who will probably find some way to interpret those numbers as being AWESOME, I'm not trying to say he's crap. I'm just trying to say he's a young guy and will be inconsistent, and you have to be patient. Why does Buchholz get all the chances to start in the world, but Joba and Hughes OMG HAVE TO GO TO THE BULLPEN?

Also, "injured Wang," heh heh heh.

The much-publicized "Joba Rules" -- applied to prepare him for a long-term career -- might have restricted Chamberlain's development last season. Joba is 12-7 with a 4.18 ERA as a starter and has shown flashes of command of all his pitches, but that fire-breathing charge out of the bullpen
"Fire-breathing." "Bull in a china shop." Joba is always described like this.

resulted in far more velocity and a career ERA as a reliever of 1.50, with 39 hits and a 20:79 walk-to-strikeout ratio in 60 innings.

So besides trying to decide if one of the two is Rivera's successor, ...

And here's where Peter misses the point entirely. The Yankees didn't draft Hughes and Chamberlain, especially Hughes, a first-round pick, just to be relief pitchers. Other than Chien-Ming Wang, the Yankees haven't had a homegrown starting pitcher with any real sort of success since Andy Pettitte. I totally love him to death and I may actually cry when he finally retires, but his rookie year was 1995 and he's nearing 38 years old. With the way teams are locking up their homegrown pitchers - look at what happened with King Felix and Verlander in this offseason, and even Lincecum to a much lesser extent - there is such a premium on young pitching. Almost nothing in baseball is more valuable than a very young, even-slightly-above-league-average, homegrown starter.

Because of really crazy excellent pitchers like Lincecum coming up and having immediate success, plus New York's very annoying media that demands results NOOOOOWWWWW, Joba and Hughes not being able to dominate in the starting rotation Lincecum-style immediately means they are failures as starters and need to be moved to the bullpen ASAP. Heck, sometimes even the most dominant pitchers in baseball go through growing pains. Roy Halladay, through his age 24 year in 2001, had pitched 336+ major league IP, starting 49 games, and was sporting a 4.95 ERA, a 1.537 WHIP, and a 1.59 K/BB ratio. To be fair, these stats were skewed by a horrible 2000, but you have to give these guys time to grow. I'm not saying Hughes, Joba, or Buchholz will be Roy Halladay, just that you can't give up on young guys so early.

These arguments aren't helped by the fact that the Yankees have had the best reliever in baseball history on their team working out of their bullpen as either a set-up guy/long reliever or closer since 1996, and Joba and Hughes were so good in the bullpen, especially Joba, who first came up there and set up JOBAMANIA!!! in, IIRC, the summer of 2007. You want to know why Mariano Rivera went to the bullpen in the first place? It was because his ERA as a starter (in a 50-inning sample size, to be fair) was 5.94. That's way more of a "failure" than Joba, Hughes, or Buchholz have been in any way. Do I think Mariano would have gotten at least slightly better if he'd had more time? Sure. But he was 25 when he first came up to the big leagues and almost 27 by the time the 1996 World Series ended. That's older than the age at which you want your starting pitchers to start developing their secondary pitches.

And please don't say something like "well look like how good Mo's been, if we put Joba and Hughes in the bullpen they'll be like that too!!!" Mariano Rivera is a freak who will probably be pitching and dominating with 41MPH cutters when he's 58 years old. He'll still convert 90%+ of his saves, and post an ERA around or under 2, a WHIP just slightly over or just slightly under 1, striking out a ridiculous amount of guys and walking very few. We will likely never see anyone like him ever again. But again, if he was able to, at all, be a league-average starter, or even maybe if he was younger and they had a little more time to be patient with him, they wouldn't have put him in the bullpen to begin with.

Joba and Hughes were put in the bullpen to begin because, pitching out of the bullpen - which is much easier, you don't need as many pitches or, generally, to go through the lineup more than once at most - they are easily MLB-ready talent. In both earlyish 2009 and especially 2007, the Yankees desperately needed bullpen help, and Hughes and Joba were able to be very effective there. And it's certainly not a bad idea to put young guys in the pen when they first come up, in order to give them some confidence that they can get guys out. This scenario is what the Twins and Royals did with, respectively, Johan Santana and David Cone, and that was just off the top of my head so I'm sure there were others too.* But - and I'm sort of rambling, and here is the most important part, so I'm even gonna bold it - even a league-average starting pitcher that gives you 150+ innings is more valuable, at least over a 162-game season, than a stud reliever, unless that reliever is giving you 100+ innings. Peter Gammons isn't dumb, he knows this. And that's probably why he's trying to convince people that the Yankees should basically give up on their young starters and put them in the bullpen.

Neither Hughes nor Joba is Rivera's successor, or at least neither should be. There are plenty of guys in the Yankees' minor leagues who are excellent relievers or meh starters. They'll make good relief pitchers and closers. These are Rivera's successors. Maybe the Yankees will sign Soria or even, vomit, Papelbon, when he hits free agency or something, I don't know. It kills me to write this sentence, but when Mo retires, they will replace him. His replacement will likely not be as out-and-out amazing as he is, and he probably won't mean as much to me personally, but they'll find someone that can close games at a very good rate.

I don't know if either of Joba or Hughes will ever be what Andy has been, nevertheless any sort of ace or Cy Young-caliber pitcher, but we can't just give up on them. And yes, shoving them in the bullpen to not even be a closer but a one-inning-set-up-guy for good is, at this point, giving up on them. I understand there's no room in the rotation for both of them this year, so putting the other one in the pen is pretty much the best idea; it, at least, makes the pen much stronger. But when whichever one in the pen excells, please please please don't say this means they should be in the pen permanently. Please.

I rambled a lot as I am wont to do, so TL;DR: Peter Gammons doesn't know what he's talking about when it comes to the young Yankee pitchers and the ultimate goal of the Yankees for both Joba and Hughes should not be to make them the heir to Mariano Rivera, it should be to make them decent starting pitchers. And I believe this is what the Yankees intend to do.

* of course, the Royals pretty much gave up on him early on and traded him to the Mets for Ed Hearn, Rick Anderson, and Mauro Gozzo. Dumb. Cone was generally one of the great voices of sanity in the Joba/Hughes thing last year, because he went through it, and he constantly talked about how you have to give young pitchers time and patience. And you absolutely do. Not everyone can be Tim Lincecum or even Andy Pettitte, who is really one very tough son-of-a-bitch (I like how his 1997 is basically one big "F you, Verducci Effect!").

I'm going to skip the Rays part because I'm honestly not informed enough about them to talk about it, but Gammons talks about the Red Sox at the end, because, you know, save the best for last and all that:
With Buchholz, the arm has always been there from his second big league start, when he no-hit the Orioles. Hall of Famer Jim Palmer has offered the opinion that Buchholz has the best stuff of any starter in the league.
FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP
Buchholz since he no-hit the Orioles: 5.19 ERA. The arm is ~always there~

After the Jays turned down Boston's five-for-one offer for Roy Halladay on July 29, Buchholz actually won as many games (six) as Halladay.
Buchholz stats since July 29: 76.2 IP, 4.34 ERA, 1.33 WHIP, 1.97 K/BB ratio
Halladay stats since July 29: 91 IP, 2.97 ERA, 1.21 WHIP, 5.26 K/BB ratio
Oh, and remember Halladay's supposed "bad" period right after the trade deadline. But don't you see, THEY'RE EXACTLY THE SAME!!!!! The W-L record has nothing to do with the fact that Buchholz pitched for a much better team than Halladay did!!!!!
(Buchholz actually had a slightly better OPSA, go figure, though Buch gave up more home runs in fewer innings.)

He started utilizing his two-seamer to give him a pitch for strikes to go with his curveball, change and four-seamer. And after a winter of training, he arrived at Spring Training seemingly more mature and certainly stronger.
FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP
If this was an article by a totally unbiased person and not just a Buchholz and Sox-in-general love fest, Gammons would talk about the pitches Joba and Hughes were working on, too. But it's not, and it is, so he doesn't.

With Jon Lester, Josh Beckett and Lackey, the Red Sox know their front three. If, as believed, Matsuzaka's back strain isn't serious, he's going to start.
Gammons is seriously the friggin' Minister of Propaganda for ~Red Sox Nation.~ Dice-K's medical issues are never ever ever a problem. He is a reliable warrior and the best Japanese import ever. Unless he's bad-mouthing the Red Sox staff to the Japanese press. Then he's a traitor who is constantly hurt and never throws strikes. I guess I should just be proud that, when asked who he thought was going to win AL Comeback Player of the Year for 2010 on MLB Network, Gammons didn't answer Dice-K.

"I have to prove myself as a starter," Buchholz said. "I tried to get stronger so I can hold up, but I don't have any starter's stress right now. Wake has earned all the respect that the rest of us should show him. I'll do whatever they want. If I pitch well, I'll get lots of opportunities."
That's nice. Where are the quotes from Hughes, Joba, Price, and Davis, and even the young guys on the Orioles that everyone's been talking about? Oh, right, they're not Red Sox. Also, he has to prove himself as a starter? He hasn't yet!! Clearly the Red Sox need a set-up guy to their set-up guy!!!! Buchholz to the seventh!!!! The game will be over after six innings!!! This would be funnier if it wasn't exactly what a lot of Yankee fans wanted Joba and Hughes to do for the rest of their careers rather than start.

In this division, with the two highest payrolls and three of what the PECOTA and other analytical experts feel are the best teams in the sport, the self-developed young pitchers may end up being a major factor in who wins 90, who wins 95 and who wins 100 games in 2010, all with touted two-way Red Sox prospect Casey Kelly standing in the shadows.
1. PECOTA is sooooo screwy this year. I've stopped trusting it. They've messed up their projections so many times that they're on their fourth revision, with indications that they're going to change again. Currently, their projections include no teams in the AL Central having a winning record and no teams outside of the AL East having 90 wins, and in the AL East, three teams have 90 wins. I know the AL East is really crazy good, but the chances of that happening are just so miniscule. I also think that they badly overestimate young players (remember their projections for Weiters last year?) and tend to predict that anyone over 33 or so will totally fall off a cliff the next year.
They're also only projecting a 23-game difference between the best record in baseball and the worst. Since baseball introduced the unbalanced schedule in 2001, the average difference between the best record in baseball and the worst is over 44 games. The lowest it's ever been is 30, and that was pretty much an outlier (if you care, since 2001, the number of games separating the best and worst records: 54, 48, 58, 54, 44, 36, 30, 41, 44). That's not to say a 23-game difference between the best and worst record won't happen. It's just that it seems extremely unlikely to happen. Other crazy sabermetrically-inclined people have pointed out that the AVG/OBP/SLG/OPS they're projecting for each team doesn't match up at all with the total runs they're projecting for the teams.
Basically, PECOTA has been bizarre this entire offseason.
2. Pretty much non-important, but I am pretty sure that, unless something changed, the two top payrolls in the league are the Yankees and the Mets, not the Yankees and the Red Sox. NO, THIS DOESN'T MEAN THE RED SOX ARE SOME SCRAPPY SMALL-MARKET TEAM (I contemplated putting that in bold), but you'd think Pete would put any fact in there if it could build up the Red Sox and put down the Yankees in any way. It's also one of those fact-checking things that, in a generally bad article, is gonna annoy me juuuust a little bit more than it should.
3. I saved the most important point for last. WHAT THE FUCK does Casey Kelly have ANYTHING at all to do with this other than that he's the latest Red Sox prospect Gammons, ESPN, and sports media in general will be desperately overhyping, Daniel Bard-style? (He throws 100 MPH OMGZ!!!!) Also, "standing in the shadows," huh?

I don't want to put the "idiot" label on this post because Gammons is not an idiot, he's just a ridiculous Red Sox homer. I know I could never write for ESPN because I'd just write about how the Yankees are awesome and how overrated Josh Beckett is and whatever. But I am tempted to stick that label on this post. Instead, I'll go look at some more pictures from Spring Training of Andy being super hot to make me feel muuuuch better, or something.

today, in "dumb things that I will laugh at"

The wayyyy-too-frequent prior to 2009 "the Yankees made it to the World Series six times in eight years before A-Rod got there. They won one postseason series in total since he's been with the team. IRREFUTABLE CORRELATION!!!!"

Yankee ERA (and opponents' ERA in parentheses) in the various LDSes, since the LDS era began. A * means the Yankees won the series.
1995 5.94 (5.79)
1996 3.46 (3.55) *
1997 4.36 (4.50)
1998 0.33 (3.24) *
1999 0.33 (3.60) *
2000 4.70 (3.48) * uhhh how did we win this? God bless the dynasty Yankees.
2001 2.20 (2.86) *
2002 8.21 (6.17) ---> this is not the series to watch if you want to see amazing pitching.
2003 1.50 (3.86) *
That choker A-Rod arrives.
2004 3.73 (4.65) *
2005 4.40 (3.89)
2006 5.56 (3.60)
2007 5.89 (3.41)
2008 n/a :(
2009 1.55 (4.67) *
Hmmm what do you notice here. Clearly, A-Rod was making Randy Johnson, Mike Mussina, and Jaret Wright suck in 2006, and making Chien-Ming Wang into a complete failure in the 2007 playoffs, plus he released the midges so that Joba couldn't throw strikes. Totes his fault. Don't get me wrong, watching Alex in the playoffs was painful in 2005 and especially 2006, and I guess 2007 to an extent, though he wasn't nearly as bad as most of the rest of the team in that series. He couldn't buy an RBI. But the Yankees losing those series were not his fault. He shouldn't get close to the majority of the blame. (One other thing people whine about is A-Rod not being able to get a guy home from third with less than two outs in Game 4 of the 2004 ALCS. That sucked, but... I hate to say this, but if Mariano Rivera doesn't blow that save/Joe Torre calls for a pitch-out, we're probably never talking about that at-bat again. The most ridiculous part of that whining? We only ever had a lead in that game because of A-Rod's home run!!!!)

Did A-Rod's home run off of Joe Nathan FUCKING RULE? Yup. But if AJ had had a Bad AJ outing, or even a Slightly Worse AJ outing, earlier in the game and the score was 5-1 going into the bottom of the ninth, that home run wouldn't have really mattered.

Maybe Tiger should have come out to this at his press conference.

oh godddd

Someone find me a job soon please.

dear people on Yankee boards,

Please don't condescend to me because a. I'm a girl and b. I don't happen to think that Chad Gaudin and Andy Pettitte - yes, even at this point in his career - are "basically interchangeable" pitchers. Thanks. Andy will not be a world beater at, what, how old is he, 37, 38? But, barring injury, he'll give you ~200 innings of league average pitching. Gaudin, not so much.

Love,
Justine Credible

PS. If you're gonna use sabermetrics like I don't understand them (WAR, FIP, etc.) to show me that Andy was secretly TEH SUXOR last year, AJ Burnett was only slightly better at best.
PPS. JFC how many posts have I written about Andy lately?

Andy rules, part however many

With the bases loaded in 2009, guys batting against him had a .292 OPS. Awesome. Yeah, it was 18 PA, so SSS. But he rules.

Andy's fiiiine

Hooray.

Mark Shapiro getting demoted from the GM role with the Indians?

But... but... but... Verducci said he was soooooo much smarter than Cashman in The Yankee Years!!!!

MO!

Why is he smiling and complacent-looking. Doesn't he know the Yankees are trying to repeat in 2010? DOOMED!!!! /media'd

best team evs.

http://www.baseball-reference.com/teams/CLV/1899.shtml
Scored 529 runs, Allowed 1252 runs.

Holy crap they actually had a pitcher named Crazy Schmit, this is too good to be true.

They never won more than two games in a row and they only did that once. At one point, they lost 24 straight. o_O Oh, and here are their W-L records by month!:
April 1-7
May 7-19 (this is totally pathetic. It was also their best month.)
June 3-22
July 4-26
August 4-26
September 1-27 (!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
October 0-7

Their best pitcher had a record of 4-30.

lols.

There were a bunch of stupid team names at this time. Brooklyn Superbas, Boston Beaneaters (I think these guys are what the Red Sox are now, and it would be sort of cute and endearing if this was still their name), St. Louis Perfectos, Chicago Orphans?!

(fistpump)

First Andy sighting of 2010.

Where is Mo?!?!?! (Other than, you know, everywhere.)

hey, MLB Network. >:(

So I watched Baseball's Seasons: 2003 tonight, and it was pretty good. But... okay, I was watching it at my dad's house. My dad doesn't care about baseball much, and he's been separated from my baseball-obsessed mom for over ten years now, so yeah.

The show was pretty good covering the division races and stuff in 2003 (though it said stuff like "Pujols hits .359, Doc wins a Cy Young" in the preview, and... they didn't really talk about either of those things. They didn't talk about Gagne's ridiculousness at all, hmm.). They obviously spent a lot of time on the Yankees/Red Sox rivalry, and how the Red Sox proved they could keep up with the Yankees, and how smart they were to get Theo Epstein who signed Millar and Mueller and Ortiz and blah, blah, blah. To explain the Yankees' success, the show basically said they had signed Contreras and Matsui so, you know, whatever. Small market teams 4eva!!! Moneyball rulz!!!!*

They spent approximately five seconds showing the Yankees celebrating after beating the Twins in the ALDS, and that was all they talked about with the Yankees and the first round, but the show spent a good three or four minutes talking about the Red Sox's comeback against Oakland in the same round, detailing every game. Then, when talking about the ALCS, they went into great detail about Game 1, showing all the home runs off of Mussina and whatnot, but then they merely said, "The Yankees evened up the series in Game 2."

The show went into detail about the fight in Game 3, but didn't really talk about the result of the game (the Yankees won), and they basically covered the three games in Fenway Park by saying that Tim Wakefield left one game with a standing ovation, and they sort of off-handedly mentioned that the Yankees left Game 5 with a three-games-to-two lead. I'm pretty sure the narrator directly said "The Red Sox had to face the impossible: going to Yankee Stadium and winning two games in a row." And they followed that up by showing the Sox at the Stadium, being all goofy and stupid and UNITEDASATEAMZOMG and whatnot. Following that, they showed all these highlights from Game 6.

(They... They... They... yeah, I'm not being creative in my sentence structure there.)

The entire thing was interlaced with Kevin Millar going on about "Cowboy up" and how they'd all shaved their heads and they were such an awesome Sox team and blah, blah, blah. There were a couple of clips of Torre talking pretty neutrally, but he had nothing close to what Millar had in that show, talking about the closeness of the clubhouse and how this Sox team was going to show the world, etc.

So before they could cover Game 7, I pretty much thought they were openly favoring the Sox and that, if a totally neutral/clueless viewer saw the show, the way they were talking about the series, he/she would think the Sox won it. So I asked my dad:

Me: Dad, do you actually know how this series ends?
Dad: No.
Me: Okay, based on the way they're presenting this, who do you think wins it?
Dad: The Red Sox.

Like I said.

Oh, and they played sad music after the Aaron Boone home run. At least I got to see Posada's double - that, and his reaction after it, is one of my favorite Yankee moments ever. Not mentioning what Moose did in that game, though, should be some sort of crime punishable by death. And they sort of, again, off-handedly talked about what Mo did, which was frigging GODLY.

It was not necessary to relive the six-pitcher no-hitter by the Astros against the Yankees at Yankee Stadium, either. Aaaargh. And I got to remember my mom literally screaming "NOOOOOO!!!!!" out loud, Darth-Vader-in-that-one-Star-Wars-movie-style, when Jeter hurt himself in that first game.

Oh, and here's another fun story involving my mom from after the Aaron Boone game. My mom and I were, at this point, basically just jumping up and down and screaming in joy, and then Joe Buck had to go and rain on our parade.
Joe Buck on TV: And for the Red Sox - more heartbreak.
My mom: WHO GIVES A SHIT?!?!?!!

* Moneyball does actually rule.

baseball sayings I don't understand

"This is the one guy in the lineup you don't want to beat you."

I understand saying this is the most dangerous hitter in the lineup and no one else comes close to him or something like that. Like, if it's a one-run game with first base open, there's a guy on third, and the option is to pitch to Albert Pujols or whoever used to be behind him in the Cardinal lineup in 2008-2009 before they got Holliday, you'd obviously pitch around Pooholes and then attack whoever the crappy hitter was behind him. But you want the lesser guys to beat you? It doesn't make me upset that Joe Mauer had a 1.000 OPS in the 2009 ALDS. He's Joe Mauer. He's awesome. That's actually lower than his regular season OPS was. It makes me really upset that Nick Fucking Punto had a 1.139 OPS in that series, and Jeff Fucking Mathis had a 1.583 OPS in the ALCS. That was just frustrating.

I remember...

watching the 2005 World Series live and wondering who I should root for. After all, the Astros had ANDYYYYYYY. But the White Sox had EL DUQUEEEEEE! (I'm pretty sure I was rooting for the White Sox in every game that Andy didn't start, because while they might have had Andy, they had stupid Roger Clemens too. And I was really happy the White Sox had beaten the stupid Angels. Plus, it meant I wouldn't have to hear Red Sox fans being all self-important about how amazing it was when they broke the curse and how magical it was and blah, blah, blah. Except they're still doing it today. FML.)

holy CRAP again

TRUE YANKEE Tino Martinez, postseason: .233/.321/.351/.672

Between saying sort of bad things about Andy's postseason performance and now Tino's, I feel like an awful person. :(

holy CRAP

I didn't realize how bad Soriano was in the postseason:
.213/.263/.299/.562, WOW. (Though I expect with more PAs he would perform at least somewhat closer to his normal season numbers of .278/.326/.510/.836. Which is, you know, generally what happens to people in the playoffs.)

Cliff Lee, Curt Schilling, and Mike Mussina had some pretty good postseasons.

Cliff Lee, 2009
4-0 (team was 5-0), 40.1 IP, 10 R, 7 ER, 1.56 ERA, 2.24 RA
33 K, 6 BB, 5.5 K/BB ratio, 0.823 WHIP
.186/.219/.241/.460 (WOW)

Curt Schilling, 2001
4-0 (team was 5-1)*, 48.1 IP, 6 R/ER, 1.12 ERA
56 K, 6 BB, 9.33 K/BB ratio (Jesus Christ), 0.644 WHIP
.150/.184/.251/.435 (holy shit)

Mike Mussina, 1997
2-0 (team was 2-2), 29 IP, 4 R/ER, 1.24 ERA
41 K, 7 BB, 5.86 K/BB ratio, 0.62 WHIP
.112/.171/.235/.406
Moose gets no love.

Interestingly enough, both Curt and Moose gave up 3 HR (Curt made it through the WS, though). Cliff didn't give up any.

*this would have been 4-1 and 4-2... if only... (sigh)

Andy Pettitte and WS Postseasons

Just because I was interested, here are the stats on Andy Pettitte in all the seasons where he got to the World Series (win or lose).

1996
5 G, 2-1 (team 4-1 in his appearances)
32 IP, 17 R, 17 ER, 4.78 ERA (it was 6.46 before Game 5 of the WS)
15 K, 15 BB, 1 K/BB, 25 H, 1.25 WHIP
.217/.305/.426/.731, 7 HR

1998
3 G, 2-1 (2-1 in appearances)
19 IP, 7 R, 7 ER, 3.32 ERA
13 K, 6 BB, 2.16 K/BB, 16 H, 1.16 WHIP
.222/.282/.444/.726, 4 HR

1999
3 G, 2-0 (3-0 in appearances)
18.1 IP, 8 R, 8 ER, 3.93 ERA
11 K, 2 BB, 5.5 K/BB, 25 H, 1.49 WHIP
.329/.346/.487/.833, 1 HR

2000
5 G, 2-0 (5-0 in appearances)
31.2 IP, 12 R, 10 ER, 2.84 ERA
18 K, 8 BB, 2.25 K/BB, 40 H, 1.54 WHIP
.320/.360/.376/.736, 0 HR

2001
5 G, 2-3 (2-3 in appearances)
29.2 IP, 15 R, 15 ER, 4.55 ERA (it was 2.93 before Game 6 of the WS :( )
21 K, 6 BB, 3.5 K/BB, 30 H, 1.23 WHIP
.263/.306/.404/.709, 2 HR

2003
5 G, 3-1 (3-2 in appearances)
34.1 IP, 10 R, 8 ER, 2.10 ERA
34 K, 11 BB, 3.09 K/BB, 33 H, 1.29 WHIP
.246/.301/.336/.637, 3 HR
Stupid 2003 World Series >:(

2005
4 G, 1-1 (1-3 in appearances)
25.1 IP, 12 R, 12 ER, 4.26 ERA
16 K, 6 BB, 2.67 K/BB, 27 H, 1.31 WHIP
.278/.327/.412/.739, 3 HR

2009
5 G, 4-0 (4-1 in appearances)
30.2 IP, 12 R, 12 ER, 3.52 ERA
25 K, 11 BB, 2.27 K/BB, 26 H, 1.23 WHIP
.239/.303/.431/.734, 5 HR

Also, wow, before Game 6 of the WS in 2009, he was
4 G, 3-0 (3-1 in appearances)
25 IP, 9 R, 9 ER, 3.24 ERA
22 K, 6 BB, 3.67 K/BB, 22 H, 1.12 WHIP
.242/.286/.407/.692, 4 HR
Andy rules.

aaahahahahhahaa!!!

So Brad Lidge comes in during the bottom of the ninth in a 6-6 game in Chicago, and McCarver and Buck are babbling about whether he was negatively affected by the ridiculously huge Albert Pujols home run in Game 5 of the 2005 NLCS. They basically agree that Lidge is totally fine.

Tim McCarver, referring to Brad Lidge: I don't think the taste [of the home run] is there.
Brad Lidge, LITERALLY THE NEXT PITCH: (serves up a walk-off home run to a guy who hadn't hit a home run all year)

WOW

A member of the Astros' bullpen got a quick out, gave up a double, got another quick out, then walked a guy and hit a guy with a pitch to load the bases. They brought in another guy to get the next out, and that guy... promptly gave up a go-ahead grand slam on the first pitch, when Andy had left with a 4-2 lead. Oh, and I know this game ends with the Astros actually tying it up off the White Sox's closer, but then Lidge gives up a walk-off home run in the bottom of the ninth to a guy that hit 0 home runs all year.

Andy probably doesn't miss just Jorge, at this point. He probably really misses Mo.

I forgot to talk about The Office!

I dunno. The episodes are good, but the show just feels like it's... not going anywhere, you know? It'll always be enjoyable and funny. It won't suck. But this Sabre thing, hmm.

I'm glad Jim is back in sales and they didn't make it seem like a career regression, too.

AHHHHHHHHH

They always have these little intros/in between certain innings things on the MLB Network All-Time Games and, sigh, they were just talking about how, after the 2003 season, "For some reason, the Yankees decided they no longer required the services of Andy Pettitte" and how he was "scorned" by "the only organization he'd ever known." NOOOOOOOO can we just forget about those days???

Happy thoughts, self.



Much better.

!!!!

They just showed Bill Murray (die-hard Cubs fan, so I don't know why he was at the White Sox game, but okay). Between him, Buehrle and ANDY PETTITTE, it's like everyone I ever loved is in US Cellular Field.

The Astros' pitching coach is kind of hot, though not as hot as Andy.

blabbering about the 2005 WS Game 2

- the Astros are all white guys with gritbeards (though Pettitte, thank God, did not grow a gritbeard); I feel like I should be rooting against them because of this.

- it's only the top of the second inning but I've already heard the following 200000 times:

a. Mark Buehrle works really fast

b. Andy Pettitte has a great pickoff move

- Andy started out 3-0 on the leadoff hitter for the White Sox, had a 10-pitch at-bat against him, and struck him out, he rules.

- Andy also keeps glaring at the Astros' catcher (hahah Brad Ausmus). Not in his usual glare-over-the-mitt-type way, in an I-hate-what-pitch-you-want-me-to-throw-type way. I think he misses, as he would say, "Georgie." He also looks sort of cold and miserable and I just got annoyed at the Astros' 3B because he couldn't dive far enough to get a ball that was hit and now Andy's gonna get all flustered, which makes me sad.

- Andy is also wearing glorious high socks (see picture above). Andy, Andy, Andy.

- LOLAstros defense, you guys just had a total HE DROPPED THE BALL moment. And now Andy is sad.

- Ozzie Guillen = amazing.

- Oh my God Aaron Rowand's bad baserunning was like three innings ago, why are you still talking about it McCarver?

- LIDGE SIGHTING.

Dumb things I spotted today

"Roger Clemens was bad in the postseason for the Yankees; they never should have gotten him."

I don't even like Clemens, but postseason career with the Yankees (1999-2003, I'm not counting 2007 because that's what happens when you rely on a like 89-year old to pitch):
3.24 ERA, 1.15 WHIP, 98 K in 100 innings, 2.88 K/BB ratio
BA/OBP/SLG/OPS against: .217/.287/.324/.611 (wow, that's pretty awesome)

Yeah, these starts are in there:
1999 ALCS Game 3 vs. BOS: 2 IP, 5 ER
2000 ALDS Game 1 vs. OAK: 6 IP, 4 ER
2000 ALDS Game 4 vs. OAK: 5 IP, 6 ER
2001 ALDS Game 5 vs. OAK: 4.1 IP, 3 ER
2002 ALDS Game 1 vs. ANA: 5.2 IP, 4 ER
2003 ALCS Game 7 vs. BOS: 4 IP, 3 ER (4 R)
(Maybe he just sucks against Oakland??)

But so are these:
1999 ALDS Game 3 vs. TEX: 7 IP, 0 ER
1999 World Series Game 4 vs. ATL: 7.2 IP, 1 ER
2000 ALCS Game 4 vs. SEA: 9 IP, 0 ER, 15 K (2 BB)
2000 World Series Game 2 vs. NYM: 8 IP, 0 ER, 9 K (0 BB)
2001 World Series Game 3 vs. ARI: 7 IP, 1 ER, 9 K (3 BB)
2001 World Series Game 7 vs. ARI: 6.1 IP, 1 ER, 10 K (1 BB)
2003 ALDS Game 3 vs. MIN: 7 IP, 1 ER
2003 ALCS Game 3 vs. BOS: 6 IP, 2 ER, 7 K (1 BB)


I love Andy Pettitte and I would not bet against him in a big spot. But I've heard Yankee fans - most of whom are the ones I'd guess are smearing Clemens - call him the best postseason pitcher the Yankees ever had and, well, that's just not true. Here are his playoff numbers with the Yankees, 1995-2003:
4.05 ERA, .278/.325/.421/.747, 1.36 WHIP, 118 K in 186.2 IP, 2.27 K/BB ratio.

And here are some starts.
1996 ALDS Game 2 vs. TEX: 6.1 IP, 4 ER, 2 HR
1996 ALCS Game 1 vs. BAL: 7 IP, 4 ER, 2 HR
1996 World Series Game 1 vs. ATL: 2.1 IP, 7 ER
1997 ALDS Game 2 vs. CLE: 5 IP, 7 ER
1998 ALCS Game 3 vs. CLE: 4.2 IP, 6 ER, 4 HR, 3 BB/1 K (poor baby Andy)
1999 World Series Game 3 vs. ATL: 3.2 IP, 5 ER
2000 ALDS Game 5 vs. OAK: 3.2 IP, 5 ER
2001 World Series Game 6 vs. ARI: 2 IP, 6 ER (this one just makes me sad)
2002 ALDS Game 2 vs. ANA: 3 IP, 4 ER
2003 ALCS Game 6 vs. BOS: 5 IP, 4 ER
(He, too, has some genius performances in his long postseason career. But I'm making a point.)

Gah, the morons just made me praise Clemens and smear Andy. That hurt, a lot.

I had ESPN on for two seconds today

And guess who was on. Gene.

He wasn't talking about baseball, he was talking about the Olympics. But I'm sure he was wrong, whatever he was talking about.

tomorrow on MLB Network

2005 World Series Game 2: Buerhle vs. Pettitte. It's like the battle of my favorite lefties EVER!!!!

OH GOD I FOUND ANOTHER ONE

This is what happens when your boyfriend has to work at night back at home so you are up without someone to cuddle with on Valentine's Day

What's not to like about Philly?
I don't know, maybe you hate cheesesteak?

Fifteen reasons to root for the defending champion Phillies in the World Series

PHILADELPHIA -- Now that the Philadelphia Phillies have put the phinishing touches

AAAAAGHHHHH WHYYYY

on the Los Angeles Dodgers and Mr. Shower Loofah, Manny Ramirez,
So... am I the only one that didn't think this story was such a big friggin' deal? Nobody was freaking out when Burnett said he heard Yankee Stadium absolutely rock - when he was in the shower - during Game 2 of the ALDS.

it's time to turn our attention to the upcoming World Series.

Assuming the New York Yankees will do what the Phillies did -- win their league championship playoff in five games (six, tops) -- we're going to have a New Jersey Turnpike series.
Ol' Gene got lucky that this actually happened. But the entire basis of this article was the Phillies vs. the Yankees. What would have happened if the Angels won? Then this article would have looked incredibly stupid. Well, stupider.

No way are the Yankees going to need a barf bag against the other L.A. (sort of) team, the Angels. If they do, the Steinbrenners will send manager Joe Girardi to go live with Balloon Boy's parents.
lols topical humor or something. Also, Hal Steinbrenner =/= his insanely impulsive and trigger-happy, God bless him, father.

And any non-dumb Yankee fan knows the way the team has played against the Angels the past couple of years (hint: they look like crap against them, often, especially in Anaheim), plus they remembered, you know, that year when The Bad Thing happened. The Yankees had looked better in the ALCS for sure up to that point, but I wasn't going to declare victory in the series until we had four wins, thank you very much.

Anyway, the Yankees will be favored to win the World Series. They've been favored to win it all since Derek Jeter pulled into the team's spring training parking lot in Tampa about nine months ago.
No, they actually haven't been, because ESPN analysts like yourself were too busy drooling over the Red Sox signing Smoltz and Penny and blabbering on about how A-Rod could never deal with the pressure after the whole PED admission thing and talking about how he would suck if he came back. In fact, most experts, rather predictably, didn't even choose the Yankees to win the division; they picked the Sox instead. The Yankees probably should have been favored, but, well, you should have hopped on that bandwagon earlier, hmm?

The Yankees have the most expensive baseball ballpark. They have the priciest baseball roster. They have the biggest baseball expectations.
I started to write something here, but then I fell aslezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"The Yankees are hot,'' said Phillies manager Charlie Manuel.
With Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter, Andy Pettitte, Francisco Cervelli, Phil Hughes, Robinson Cano and his heartbreaking smile, and Mark Teixeira on their roster, this statement is definitely true. Heck, even sometimes Mo can look devastatingly handsome (and sometimes he looks, as SOSH might say, like a bat. I'd rather have a closer that looks like a bat than an anusmouth, though.). Even Johnny Damon was sort of adorable in a goofy way, and his arms were... well his arms were nice to look at. And I do believe I talked about how awesome Posada's ass was the other day. Oh God, I can't believe I wrote about that. ANYWAY!

And the Phillies? The Phillies have the 2008 World Series trophy. They'd like to add the 2009 World Series trophy to their collection.
But don't forget, they are the humble underdogs.

And all they have to do is beat a team with homefield advantage and at least three future Hall of Famers.
Pointing out the Yankees have homefield advantage = kind of important
Pointing out the Yankees have three future Hall of Famers = not that important
Guys like Jeter, Mo, and A-Rod are basically locks for the HoF because they've been playing so long at such high levels. If Ryan Howard and Chase Utley keep up what they're doing, they might be, too. Both teams are really talented. Just saying they're future Hall of Famers doesn't really mean anything at this point, though. Randy Johnson and Greg Maddux are both certain to be first-ballot Hall of Famers, but if I put the 2009 versions of them on the team instead of CC Sabathia and Andy Pettitte, well, that'd give the team five future Hall of Famers but, uh, it wouldn't make the team any better.

"Let me tell you,'' said Manuel, to the Citizens Bank Park sellout crowd after the Phillies 10-4 victory Wednesday night, "we got one more step and we gonna get it.''

I'm not rooting for the Phillies (I'll let John Kruk do the secret cheering), but I can see why you could. In fact, I can see why you should.
I'm not rooting for the Phillies. I'm just going to write an article about why you should root for the Phillies, while simultaneously writing an article about why you should not root for the other team.

Reason No. 1 -- Manuel
He talks like a hick from the sticks. He looks like a guy who repairs tractor axles for a living. But the Phillies don't have any problems translating that thick, western Virginia accent and those country boy sayings of his (Like this one about the impossibility of pitching perfection: "I've got an old saying: 'That Louisville will find you.''').

Huh? Oh -- Louisville, as in Louisville bat. Got it.
None of this is wrong. I really love Charlie Manuel. And all of this is perhaps the most correct thing Woj ever wrote. Though is Charlie saying a perfect game won't ever happen? I dunno, Charlie, there are a couple of (I always forget Javy was the opposing pitcher in that game, weird) 'em that I can remember quite vividly from my lifetime. Including one that happened earlier in the freakin' year!

Manuel wasn't immediately embraced in this city -- not that he cared.
SEE HE IS TOTALLY NOT LIKE GIRARDI WHO CARED BOOOO CARING

He grinded away, won last year's World Series while managing with a heavy heart (his mom had just died), and now has the best postseason record among active managers with at least 20 games of playoff experience. In the last two postseasons, he's a combined 18-5.
Uhhhh, that's a pretty freaking specific and small sample size you picked out to prove your point. Joe Girardi was 5-0 in his first five games in the playoffs as a manger. That's the best postseason record among managers with only five games of playoff experience! (Way to purposefully leave out the '07 sweep at the hands of the Rockies, too, Gene.)

"As I'm sitting here, I know we can win the World Series again,'' said Manuel. Dodgers manager Joe Torre congratulated Manuel in a stadium corridor not far from the Phillies clubhouse. Torre, who won four World Series with the Yankees, knows what Manuel has done.

"Getting to the World Series two years in a row is not easy to do,'' said Torre.
"What is easy," he continued, "is taking all the credit for the performance of very good players I happened to be given by the Yankees' GM and owner, and putting all the blame on these same excellent players, as well as the higher-ups, whenever I failed in any way. And then writing a book about it." (Boom, roasted!!!)

Reason No. 2 -- Pinstripe Overload
The Yankees have made a mind-numbing 48 postseason appearances. They've won 26 World Series titles and 39 pennants. They need another trophy like Mark Teixeira needs another vowel.
Okay, that Teixeira comment was actually pretty funny. But OH NO THE YANKEES WON FIVE TIMES IN A ROW IN THE 1940s AND 1950s!!!! THAT MEANS THEY SHOULDN'T WIN THIS YEAR!!!!!

Meanwhile, you can fit the Phillies' World Series hardware (two since 1883) into George Steinbrenner's Altoids tin.
Yeah, and one of those trophies came last year. When the Yankees didn't make the playoffs. Why are the Phillies underdogs again? They're really lucky they were playing the Yankees in the World Series in 2009, because that's the only way they would ever be viewed as an underdog while they were the defending champions.

Reason No. 3 -- The Philly Phanatic
The Yankees think God invented pinstripes. The Phanatic will lovingly and appropriately mock them.
I love the Philly Phanatic but uhhh... what? Also, how dare the Yankees be proud to be Yankees, probably the most storied franchise in any sport. You know, all those rings you just talked about, Gene?

Reason No. 4 -- Wallet Size
I actually just said "Oh noooooo" out loud.

If you want to root for a franchise that probably spent more money on its 1,400 video monitors at new Yankee Stadium than the Florida Marlins did on their entire payroll, then the Yankees are your team. Their $201-million-plus player payroll (and that's down from a season ago) once again leads the majors.
This shit again? I'm rooting for the Yankees because I was raised a Yankee fan. I've loved them since before I knew what "payroll" even meant. Oh, and the Marlins' owners are way more concerned with pocketing the luxury tax money they get from the Yankees for themselves than having a good team that fans will enjoy. The Yankees' owners want to put the best possible product on the field. HOW DARE THEY!!!!

The Phillies aren't exactly doing their roster on the cheap, but they're still spending about $88 million less than the Yankees.
I'm wondering if Gene wrote an article like this in 2008 about rooting for the Rays over the Phillies, or in 2007 about rooting for the Rockies over the Red Sox. I'm gonna guess not.

Reason No. 5 -- Girlfriend Sightings
Citizens Bank Park is a Kate Hudson-free venue.
A presumably straight male sportswriter doesn't like seeing a gorgeous woman on television while he watches baseball? Okay then.

Reason No. 6 -- Overdog vs. Underdog
Mariano Rivera blows a save as often as Roger Clemens tells the truth about his performance enhancer use.
Obligatory dig at a Yankee!!!

Rivera is the surest thing since sunrises.

The Phillies' Brad Lidge? The leading cause of gnawed fingernails.

Lidge blew more saves than any closer in the big leagues this year. He might have blown more saves than anybody in the Little Leagues this year.

For a while there, he was human lighter fluid.

Nothing against The Sandman, but I'm rooting for The Semi-Flawed One.
Of course you are.

Lidge has been through baseball reliever hell this season. Wouldn't it be amazing if Lidge, not the amazing Rivera, put the Yanks to sleep?
Uh, why would it be? Sure, he went through hell this season, but last season for Lidge was reliever heaven: perfect in save opportunities, a very impressive 48/48, including the playoffs, winning all sorts of "NL Reliever of the Year" awards, and, oh yeah, he got a ring to go along with all of that. Soooo many relief pitchers are dying to have just one year like Lidge's 2008. Try coming up with a metaphor for that that simultaneously demeans the Yankees in some way there, Gene!

Plus, it's not like Mariano is arrogant about his talent or unlikable in any way. You're spite-rooting against him/for the other guy just because he's a Yankee and he's really good at what he does and has been throughout his career. That is ridiculous and dumb. And what happens if the Angels had pulled the win out over the Yankees and it was Lidge vs. Fuentes? It would have been terribly fun, in a sort of schadenfreude-y way, to see Lidge vs. the Rally Monkey or Fuentes vs. the Citizens Bank Bandbox.

Also, if you talk to Yankee haters, because of Game 7 of the 2001 World Series and 2004 (his only bad postseason), you'll hear an endless litany of what a "choker" Mo is and how this means Papelbon/other assorted closers are better. I am serious.

Reason No. 7 -- City Envy
New York is The City That Never Sleeps.

Philadelphia is The City That Has An Inferiority Complex About The City That Never Sleeps.

New York and Philly are separated by a turnpike, about 100 miles and attitude. New Yorkers consider Philadelphia a really nice imitation of Cleveland -- and Philadelphians know it too. Nothing would give this city more pleasure than watching the Phillies slice and dice the Big Apple into baseball submission.
Well I'm sure this isn't going to bring up any sort of controversy at all. And having been to both cities, this New Yorker certainly doesn't consider Philadelphia and Cleveland to be anything alike. And finally, we should root for the Phillies so that Philadelphia can feel a whole bunch of schadenfreude toward New York? And hey Philadelphia (and let's face it, Boston), if you use a friggin' baseball series to make definitive statements about your city compared to ours, that's just pathetic. Yes, I'm aware New York tabloid newspapers were doing this to Philadelphia prior to the series, and that's pathetic too.

Reason No. 8 -- This One's For Harry
Beloved. Adored. Revered. Respected. Remembered. Every single day.

There's a reason why the Phillies keep Harry Kalas' sportcoat and a pair of his loafers in their dugout each game and wear a patch with his initials on their unis. The legendary play-by-play man, who died earlier this season, was, as our Jayson Stark so eloquently wrote at the time, "the soundtrack of Philadelphia Phillies baseball.''

If the Phillies beat the Yankees, Manuel ought to spray champagne on Harry's jacket. For old time's sake.
The 2001 New York Yankees did not win the World Series. In fact, they lost it in about the most heartbreaking way possible. Since then, I've really tired of this whole "x team will win it for _____" thing. Also, again, if the Phillies had played the Angels, there was the whole Nick Adenhart story. Kalas seemed like an amazing person who loved life, and he was a great broadcaster. But he was an old man who died of natural causes. Adenhart's death has to be viewed as more tragic. And the Yankees are doing it for The Boss, too, I suppose.

Reason No. 9 -- Watchability
The Phillies hit four home runs in Wednesday night's NLCS clincher against the Dodgers They've hit 14 homers during this postseason and outscored L.A., 35-16, in the NLCS. No team has scored more runs during these playoffs than Philly.

They hit 224 dingers during the regular season, trailing only the Yankees (244). The Yankees were first in the big leagues in RBIs, runs and total bases. The Phillies were first in the NL in all those categories. They're the closest thing to an AL lineup playing in the other league. Plus, they stole 119 bases.

"They kept coming at us,'' said Torre.

The Phillies' pitching will undergo serious strain against the Yankees' lineup, but …

"Right now, for the National League, we're outstanding and we can stay after you and we can put up a big number on you anytime during the game,'' said Manuel. "And that makes us a real good team.''

Think this Phillies-Yankees thing might be fun?
You should root for the Phillies because they're exciting because they hit a lot of home runs and score a lot. Even though the Yankees actually do those things more, you should totes root for the Phillies. Also, AAAGH THE YANKEES HADN'T WON THEIR SERIES YET!!!!

Reason No. 10 -- Two-peats
No team has won back-to-back World Series since … the Yankees. In fact, the Yanks went three-peat from 1998-1999-2000.
Wasn't that awesome? That was awesome.

And no National League team has gone back-to-back since the 1975-76 Cincinnati Reds.

Be nice to see someone new make a run at dynasty status.
Getting to two World Series in a row pretty much qualifies as "making a run" at a dynasty if that's your bare minimum qualification, I'd say. Also, WAAAH THE PHILLIES ARE RUINING BASEBALL!!! WHERE'S THE PARITY?!?!

Reason No. 11 -- Confessions
That Usher song was really overplayed. For obvious reasons, I don't mind it too much here though. Prettiness.......... anyway.

Admitted PED users on the Yankees: two. Admitted PED users on the Phillies: zero.
Do you see that ADMITTED word? Yeah? It's pretty freaking important. I'd bet good money there are (at least former) PED users on the Phillies, and more than two PED users on the Yankees. Also, players suspended for using banned substances during the 2009 season on the Phillies: one. And all these guys got constantly tested during the playoffs. Yeah, there are probably things that aren't detectible, but let's not pretend that, like, Jeter's gonna be sticking a needle in his ass before every game.

I had a whole rant written up here, but I realize it basically accused a player - who I like very much - of possibly using PEDs, which is incredibly unfair of me, so I took it down. (if you want to get the general gist of it, look at the career leaders in HR/PA.)

Reason No. 12 -- Start Spreading The News
The Yankees play Frank Sinatra's "New York, New York'' on the stadium P.A. system after a win.

The Phillies play Sinatra's "High Hopes'' -- sung by Kalas -- after a win. One is a self-back pat. The other seems more, well, genuine.
I'm not even gonna dignify this with a comment.

Reason No. 13 -- Ryan Howard
A-Rod is, at last, having a postseason to remember, not forget.
Obligatory A-Rod insult. Also, you know, his 2000 postseason was pretty awesome (and his 2004 very good, even with him struggling at the end of the ALCS). But it wasn't with the Yankees so I guess it doesn't count.

But Howard has RBIs and hits in eight of his first nine playoff games this October (he went 0-for-2 Wednesday evening with two walks and a run scored).
When this article was written, before Game 5 of the ALCS, A-Rod had a hit and at least one RBI in all of the postseason games he'd played in 2009. What's your point?

And Howard, who has led or shared the majors lead in regular season RBIs three of the last four seasons, does all of this in a quiet, understated way -- and usually against a huge defensive shift to the right side of the infield.
See, he is QUIET and UNDERSTATED. This is NOT another dig at A-Rod. Why would you think that??? (Also, the dude hits an assload of home runs. That's neither understated nor does it have anything to do with a defensive shift.)

Also, Ryan Howard's placing in the MVP voting since 2006: 1 (not undeserved, Pujols probably should have won though), 5, 2 (in a year when he had an .881 OPS as a 1B; that's good, but many others who appeared lower in the voting had better stats than that, including Chase Utley and his .915 OPS as a 2B and Hanley Ramirez, with a .940 OPS as a SS), 3. He also won Rookie of the Year in 2005. I love the Big Fella, but let's not pretend he's some ignored, underrated guy.

It wasn't much of a surprise, but Howard was named the NLCS MVP (.333, two home runs, eight RBIs).
A-Rod, not named ALCS MVP: .429, three home runs, six RBIs. And the only reason I think he didn't have more was because Scioscia made his pitchers simply stop pitching to him, which Torre never wised up to doing against Howard.

Reason No. 14 -- Home Address
New Yankee Stadium is drop-dead gorgeous. This is indisputable.
Thank you. It is.

But
Oh no.

you need to make A-Rod money to afford a seat in the place. It wasn't built for the people, but for the corporate suites.
I don't make A-Rod money. I am, in fact, unemployed. I went to five games last year.

Citizens Bank Park has the Liberty Bell, but not all the whistles. It is the anti-corporate park. Working stiffs with working stiffs paychecks can actually afford to go to a game. And unlike new Yankee Stadium, there aren't empty luxury couches behind home plate.
YANKEE STADIUM IS SOOOO QUIET AND EMPTY. NOBODY'S THERE TO SEE THE GAME!!!! Yes, please characterize all Yankee fans as snobs and all Philly fans as blue-collar, working-class people. It's just awesome of you, Gene.
I don't argue that way too many of those luxury seats were empty or filled with people that were more interested in ordering sushi and checking their Blackberries than watching the game. I'm just saying, that's not the only type of fan who goes to the frigging ballpark.

Reason No. 15 -- City of Love?
It's hard not to like these Phillies. I'm not saying the Yankees aren't likeable. They are, in sort of a regal way. After all, they're the Yankees.
I'm not saying the Yankees aren't likeable. I'm just writing an entire article about how the Yankees aren't likeable. Oh, and yeah, I know it was after this article was written, but remind me, what team was constantly talking about, among other things, how they'd figured out the other team's closer and how the starting pitchers on the other team weren't anything special? So likeable!

And did you miss when the Yankees started smashing pies in each others' faces after walk-off wins (not that they invented that) and had silly kangaroo courts with Mo in a judges' wig? They were getting criticized for not being regal enough.

But Philadelphia is crazy about this team -- and that doesn't happen very often. Remember, this city's sports motto is brutally consistent: "Philadelphia. We Hate Everybody.''

But not these Phillies. The city bear hugs them. If the most cyncial sports fans on the planet are heads over cleats about these guys, then they must be worth the effort.
That's because they're really good right now. When they're not winning, almost nobody in Philadelphia gives a shit about them, and they go care about the Eagles or the Flyers of the 76ers instead. I went to school so close to Philly that I could basically spit on the city; trust me on this. All teams have frontrunning fans, and I KNOW it looks bad that I started writing extensively about baseball when the Yankees got truly awesome again, but the Phillies have more than their share of frontrunning fans.

Said Phillies reliever Ryan Madson: "I think we're just ordinary guys that just do extraordinary things.''
Are the Phillies the new Red Sox? Please tell me the Phillies are not the new Red Sox. I like the Phillies. I don't want to have to spite-root against them because the media calls them "scrappy," "blue collar," and "gritty," or whatever else.

Now we find out if they can do those things against the extraordinary Yankees.
Or, you know, THE ANGELS, WHO HADN'T BEEN ELIMINATED YET.

In conclusion, Gene's reasons why you should root for the Phillies:
1. They have a funny manager who has been good in two postseasons when he got his team to the World Series.
2. The Yankees won a lot in the past.*
3. ... I can't even make sense of this one.*
4. The Yankees spend a lot of money.*
5. Kate Hudson goes to Yankee games.*
6. Mariano Rivera is good at what he does. This season, Brad Lidge is not.*
7. Philadelphia and New York have a weird relationship and if the Phillies win, Philly will get to feel superior.*
8. An old guy asssociated with the Phillies died.
9. The Phillies hit a lot of home runs and score a lot of runs. The Yankees hit more home runs and score more runs, but you should still cheer for the Phillies.
10. The Phillies might repeat.
11. Nobody on the Phillies has admitted to using PEDs; the Yankees are dirty.*
12. The song the Yankees play after their games is not as "genuine" as the one the Phillies play.*
13. The Phillies have a good player on their team. So do the Yankees but, you know, whatevs.
14. Yankee Stadium is for rich people only. Citizen's Bank Park has working-class people that attend games.*
15. The Yankees are not as likeable as the Phillies, as proven by the fact that Philadelphia supposedly loves the Phillies.*

* The Phillies were not guaranteed to play the Yankees at the point when Gene wrote this article. So basically, if the Angels had played the Phillies, two-thirds of this list wouldn't have been valid. An article about something supposedly totally different that turns into outright Yankee hating/bashing/mocking by ESPN, why I have never heard of something so shocking.

at least Woj admits it

All Pettitte did was will his tired left arm to deliver perhaps the most important 5 2/3 innings of his 12-season Yankees career. On just three days' rest, he stuffed a rosin bag into the mouth of every critic who questioned manager Joe Girardi's decision to start a weary Pettitte in Game 6. I was one of those critics and as it turned out, Pettitte and Girardi were right, I was wrong.

Dumb-dumb article #2

Here, in case you forgot.

Short rest leads to Burnett's short start
Girardi's pitching plan opening opportunity for Phillies to make a miracle comeback

Hold on, let me correct that for you, as anyone that's been watching the Yankees/baseball with any sort of interest knows: Short rest Burnett having a bad Burnett outing leads to Burnett's short start

PHILADELPHIA -- The chance to win a World Series-clinching Game 5 for the New York Yankees is meant for someone with XXL nerves. A.J. Burnett, who lasted all of six outs in Monday night's meltdown, was a size "small."

It turns out the moment was too much -- way too much -- for the Yankees' No. 2 starter.
Yup, just stick that bullshit "choker" label on AJ Burnett. Not like he pitched totally awesome in Game 2 of the Series, which, while not an ACTUAL must-win, was kind of close to one.

Also, if it was supposedly his nerves that caused him to suck, then really, wouldn't it not have mattered if he pitched on normal, short, or 5035829804968 days' rest?

This is why the Philadelphia Phillies, 8-6 winners on a chilled November night, have more than a pulse in this Series; they have an opportunity to pull off a baseball miracle.
Hmmm. May I remind you that these are some excerpts from what you wrote after Game 4, Gene?:
New York is turning a potential classic into a ho-hum romp toward a 27th title

For the sake of a Series predicted to be an actual Fall Classic, it would be nice if the Phillies could somehow push this to a seventh game. But, sigh, I'm not holding my breath.

WAAAAH THE YANKEES ARE GONNA WIN! Also, were you paying attention? The games were really pretty good. There was a pitchers' duel for the first two games, and with these two teams, that's pretty crazy. Even though it was for the team I was rooting against, watching Cliff Lee utterly dominate was kind of awesome. The third game had the Yankees coming back from a 3-0 hole and, of all people, the PITCHER from the AMERICAN LEAGUE TEAM tying the game. The fourth game was just insane. Did you miss the guy stealing two bases on one play?!?!?!

Also, since you made such a big fucking deal about Yankee fans wanting to get on A-Rod's ass after Game 2 because of his past bad performances, may I remind you that the Yankees did something quite a bit worse than blowing a 3-1 series lead a few years ago? I think most Yankee fans recognized that this team was really damn good and probably should win the World Series, but I also think all but the cockiest and dumbest Yankee fans were waiting to pop the champagne until the twenty-seventh out was made in the fourth Yankee win of the series, recognizing that the Phillies were a really darn good team, too, and with the ghost of the Year of Great Evil in the back of their minds.

And Burnett?

"I had no hope tonight," he said.
Well that's at least right.

The Phillies played their last game of the year in Citizens Bank Park, but they haven't played their last game of the postseason. Instead, they tossed Burnett into the garbage disposal, flipped the switch and ground him up for six runs in two-plus innings.

"I had a chance to do something special tonight and I failed and I let a lot of guys in here down and I let a city down," said Burnett, who, to his credit, stood in front of his locker and answered every question.
Holy crap, how did I not know Burnett said that he let the city down?! Now I just feel sorry for the guy.

So back to New York we go for at least one more game and, who knows, maybe a deciding seventh. And wouldn't that be something.
I guess. You know who would be pitching in that seventh game for the Phillies? Maybe Cole Hamels, who had awful luck and a below-average year in 2009, sucked through the playoffs, and said he wanted the season to be over after his Game 3 start. Maybe J.A. Happ, who hadn't started since the NLDS and who had fared poorly there. Maybe Cliff Lee on two days' rest, after a game where he gave up five runs in seven innings when the bottom of the opposing order consisted of Brett Gardner, Jose Molina, and a pitcher.

But first things first, such as asking the same question we asked days before Burnett took the mound for Game 5 and before Andy Pettitte was all but guaranteed the Game 6 start: What is Yankees manager Joe Girardi thinking?
He's thinking that he only has three starters that should be starting in this World Series. He's right.

Girardi started Burnett on three days' rest. He got away with it when CC Sabathia pitched well in Game 4, but the decision exploded in the Yankees' face when Burnett gave it a short-rest go. Burnett isn't Sabathia.
You're right. One's a black guy, one is white. CC is from California; AJ is from Arkansas. I could go on for a while.

In fact, he was barely Burnett in Monday night's no-show.
Here's where you're totally missing it, Gene (can I call you Gene? Cool.). Burnett was absolutely Burnett in Game 5. If you've been watching Yankees baseball for any amount of time, you know it is totally like him to make you drool with a brilliant performance where he's damn near untouchable, and then follow it up with a game where he walks 42 guys and gives up 38 home runs. That's just what he does. And no, it doesn't matter who's behind the plate.

"I just couldn't get the ball where I wanted to," said Burnett, whose fastball spent too much time over the chunky part of the plate and whose curveball arrived with a "Hit Me" invitation attached.

Both Girardi and Burnett insisted the short rest wasn't the reason for Burnett's struggles.

"No, I don't think there was any correlation," Girardi said.

"I felt strong, I felt great," Burnett said. "I just didn't get it done, man."
Yeah. They're right. What's your point?

Burnett does have a history of huge performance swings,
DING DING DING! DING DING DING DING DING, GODDAMN IT! You should have started to write this article, realized this, and stopped writing this article.

but don't the odds for something forgettable increase on fewer days' rest?
No. Well, I should revise that: If you're being run absolutely ragged like CC last year by the Brewers when you've already pitched like 250 innings that year, it might. But one or two short rest starts in the World Fucking Series? No.

And is it a good thing when you begin the biggest start of your career by giving up a liner to Jimmy Rollins on a 1-2 pitch? Then follow it up by nearly breaking every small bone in Shane Victorino's right hand? Then throwing a first-pitch dinger to home run machine Chase Utley? Then walking Ryan Howard, who entered the game with a sub-Mendoza Line batting average?

I'll answer that one: no.
Again, if you've seen a bad AJ start, you would know these all happen in them, minus ~the dramatics~. But no, they are not particularly good things. I don't think anyone would say they were.

Also, Ryan Howard is a very dangerous hitter. I know he had like fifteen bazillion strikeouts in the World Series, and it definitely wasn't a good series for him, but he had a higher OPS there than Mark Teixeira and one only three points lower than Jorge Posada. He did better than Jimmy Rollins and Shane Victorino. Just because he'd been struggling didn't mean he wasn't going to absolutely crush a bad pitch or whatever, especially off a righty, who he hits much better than lefties (like, you know, Andy Pettitte and CC Sabathia, starters of the last two games).

Anyway, it was 3-0 Phillies before Burnett even recorded an out.
Actually, it was 3-1 Phillies, but sure, why bother to get those dumb things called "facts" right?

Burnett eventually got out of the first inning and survived a two-out walk to Rollins in the second inning, then boarded the Disaster Express in the third.

Walk to Utley … walk to Howard … RBI single by Jayson Werth … RBI single by Raul Ibanez … walk of shame to Yankees dugout. Girardi had seen enough and mercifully ended Burnett's night after a 53-pitch (only 28 for strikes), 4-hit, 4-walk, 6-run, 2-strikeout, 1-hit-by-pitch outing.

"When you don't throw strikes, that's what the outcome is going to be," Burnett said.
Again, this is all Bad AJ shit. I mean, this was a REALLY BAD AJ start, but he hit two guys and walked five or six in that one-run performance against the Twins (granted, it was in more innings).

There was always a danger this could happen. Pitching on three days' rest is a dicey thing,
Goddamn it. Not if it's ONE TIME. Not even if it's TWO TIMES.

and Girardi knew it. The numbers said Burnett could handle it (he was 3-0 with a 1.64 ERA on short rest),
Oh look! Numbers, facts, stats!!!!!!! Those numbers are pretty awesome. They're also a pretty small sample size, like so small it basically doesn't count other than to say sure, he could handle it and wouldn't totally blow up Al-Leiter-in-Game-6-of-the-1999-NLCS-style.

but they didn't say anything about combining three days' rest with the pressures of a World Series Game 5 on the road.
Yessss I love talking about intangibles.

You could tell Burnett might be in trouble as early as Sunday night, when he admitted he couldn't treat his Game 5 appearance as another start. You had to admire his honesty, but it was a verbal red flag.

"I try not to think about it too much, but you can't help not to," he said after Monday night's game.
He did seem nervy. But hell, he kept talking about his Game 2 start and he was fantastic there. Again, this was all a case of AJ bein' AJ. And, again, if he was really totally nervous about the start, it wouldn't have mattered if he was on full rest!

Burnett won Game 2, pitching spectacularly (7 innings, 1 run, 9 strikeouts, 2 walks). But that was at Yankee Stadium. And it wasn't on three days' rest or with the opportunity to close out the Series or against Phillies ace Cliff Lee.
What does the opposing pitcher have anything to do with it? And if it did, fine, sure, he wasn't going up against Cliff Lee in Game 2. He was only going up against Pedro Martinez in New York while being down 0-1 in the Series. Pedro 2009 is obviously not the ridiculous peak Pedro of 2000 or so, but he was pitching well and more importantly, if you're speaking about the pressures of facing the opposing pitcher, don't you think that if any Yankee pitcher lost to Pedro, they would have been absolutely torn apart by the press?

Lee gave up five runs over seven-plus innings and 112 pitches -- and that was on full rest. If anything, it shows how difficult it is to face high-powered lineups on fewer days of rest.
No, it showed that Cliff Lee wasn't nearly as sharp in Game 5 as he was in Game 1; that would have been impossible. He's a very good pitcher, but did you think he would have kept up that 0.52 or whatever it was prior to that game postseason ERA forever? Here are the Yankee hitters and their slash lines against Cliffy:
Jeter .407/.467/.519/.985 (30 PA)
Teixeira .391/.462/.696/1.157 (26 PA)
Swisher .333/.458/.444/.903 (24 PA)
Damon .091/.130/.091/.221 (23 PA)
Posada .283/.273/.667/.939 (22 PA)*
A-Rod .333/.450/.733/1.183 (20 PA)
Cano .222/.263/.222/.485 (19 PA)
Matsui .294/.368/.412/.780 (19 PA)
Melky .273/.333/.545/.879 (12 PA)
So as you see, most of them hit him pretty well, save Damon (who, hmmmm, Fox was the only one they talked about with regard to past performance against Lee. Funnily enough, without looking it up, I think Johnny was actually one of the few with a hit against Cliff in Game 1) and Cano. Heck, even Molina had a .909 OPS against the guy, albeit in 11 at-bats. Gardner was .800 in 6 at-bats. I'm not sure how many of these numbers were compiled in 2007 or earlier, when the awesome Cliff Lee we see today and saw in 2008 didn't exist, but these are generally very good numbers, albeit in a SSS.

Girardi hasn't made an official announcement about his Game 6 starter, but he's using all the same managerspeak he used before naming Burnett. In other words, he's going to start 37-year-old Pettitte on three days' rest against a fully rested Pedro Martinez. This is the same Pettitte who admitted after his Game 3 start that he had struggled.
Agh. For one thing, here are the days between starts for Pedro when he was with the Phillies: 5, 4, 4, 5, 4, 4, 5, 10. His last start of the season was on September 30 (and in his last two starts of the season, he threw a combined seven innings), and the next time he pitched was October 16. The next time after that, October 29. So he wasn't on a schedule of regular rest pretty much the entire season and especially the postseason. I think he complained about something hurting him at some point, too, and, IMO, he's way too proud - and managers are way too respectful of him - to go to the bullpen, even at this point in his career. He was frail back when he was one of the awesomest pitchers to ever live; he might still know how to pitch, but he's not that guy any more. And Pettitte said he had nothing because of the rain delay - not that what he said necessarily means anything, he could have been just making that up, and we'll never know how he would have pitched without the rain delay.

"You know, if Andy feels good, he's going to go on Wednesday," Girardi said late Monday night. "This is something we talked about all throughout. We check with our guys. If he feels good, he's going."

Girardi tried to step on the Phillies' throat with Burnett rather than, say, Chad Gaudin.
How is this the wrong move? It's the World Series. You don't throw games. If something gives you a much higher probability to win, you go with that something. In general, AJ Burnett, while not the most reliable pitcher in the world, gives you a much better probability to win a game than Chad Gaudin.

He hoped he could get the Game 2 Burnett. Instead, he got the Burnett who couldn't throw strikes.
Don't you think that if Girardi knew how to get the Burnett that showed up in Game 2, he would have done whatever possible to get him?! And vice-versa, if Girardi knew Burnett was going to utterly implode, don't you think he would have tried to avoid that?

Now he's going to bypass Gaudin again. It isn't a surprise -- Gaudin, who didn't lose any of his six Yankees starts this season (he was 2-0), was phased out of the rotation weeks ago.

"The interesting thing is Chad hasn't thrown much in the last month, and that's a difficult spot to put him in," Girardi said.
Gaudin hadn't started a game since September 28. That was over a month before the World Series. I am quite sure, based on general impression and things the players and pitchers themselves said, that Girardi let the pitchers know he was going with a three-man rotation, and that some of the guys would have to have a start or two on short rest if they were lucky enough to get to the World Series. CC, AJ, and Andy were all well-rested throughout the last through weeks of the regular season. It's not like he was springing this on them.

Also, rather unsurprisingly, Gene's stats are pretty much out of context, as one of Gaudin's wins came in relief, and here are his starts with the Yankees.
8/19 vs. Oakland: 4.1 IP, 0 ER, 5 K, 5 BB
He got pulled with the bases loaded and one out in this game, when the Yankees had a 3-0 lead; Aceves came in and got a DP.
9/3 vs. Toronto: 3.2 IP, 3 ER, 2 K, 3 BB
9/8 vs. Tampa Bay: 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 K, 2 BB
9/16 vs. Toronto: 5.2 IP, 3 ER, 2 K, 1 BB
9/22 vs. Anaheim: 4.2 IP, 2 ER, 3 K, 2 BB
9/28 vs. Kansas City: 6.2 IP, 2 ER, 5 K, 2 BB
The only start I would get excited about in there was the one against Tampa Bay (and just for interesting facts' sake, he also had a really good start against Texas in interleague when he was still with the Padres - 8 IP, 0 R/ER, 1 H, 9 K, 2 BB - and a horrible start against Anaheim - 3 IP, 8 R/ER, 10 H, 1 K, 0 BB, 2 HR. He had both an okay and a very good start against Seattle. Oh, and Texas pretty much destroyed him in a relief appearance during the infamous and extremely frustrating Game Where Swisher Bunted. [I was at the next game and listening to people still complaining about that game was pretty hilarious. Though we all got over it when the Yankees won said game I was at.] So, who knows. Oh, and one other thing I found while digging through Gaudin's stats, this game was sort of hilarious. The Diamondbacks blew a 6-0 lead, including when they were still leading 6-1 going into the bottom of the ninth? Oh, and the thing that tied the game was a three-run home run by David Eckstein?!?!?! But, I digress.). Maybe the Kansas City one, but, I mean, it's the Royals. I was happy with how he did for the Yankees - I thought he was going to out-and-out suck - but the Yankees offense was good enough that he could get away with things like those two starts against Toronto. The Yankee bullpen also had guys that could provide solid innings if he left after, say, less than five innings, when Girardi pulled him before he could get into real trouble. If he was still with the Padres when those happened? Eh.

More importantly, though,
Righties vs. Gaudin: .249/.318/.409/.728, 325 K, 116 BB (2.80 K/BB)
Lefties vs. Gaudin: .293/.389/.433/.822, 140 K, 167 BB (0.84 K/BB)
Putting this guy in Citizens' Bank Park to face the Phillies' lefty-power-hitting-heavy lineup, when he hadn't started in over a month, and had only thrown one very low-leverage inning (the bottom of the ninth in that 10-1 blowout in Anaheim) since the playoffs started, would not have been the greatest of ideas.

It's no more difficult than the spot Girardi put an overhyped and under-rested Burnett in.
Who the hell overhypes AJ Burnett? And AJ Burnett was plenty well-rested toward the end of the season and during the agonizingly long playoffs. One short rest start is not going to make the wheels come off.

It's no more difficult than the spot he'll put an under-rested Pettitte in.
It's only because he feared my wrath that he didn't add the "overhyped" thing with Andy.

Just so you know, Pettitte is 5-7 with a 4.18 ERA in 18 career short-rest starts.

If we have these stats, so does Girardi. Yet he's willing to risk the World Series on it.
AJ's (and presumably CC's) great career numbers on short rest = don't count
Pettitte's not-great career numbers on short rest = OF DIRE IMPORTANCE!!!!

Also, Andy Pettitte in the playoffs on three days' rest: 3-1, 2.88 ERA. LOOK I CAN THROW AROUND STATS OUT OF CONTEXT TOO!!!! (For clarification, obviously those numbers are great. They're also a tiny, tiny sample size, and the most recent of those starts was in 2003. Also - dammit, why do I get so distracted by random stats?! - in the first four games he started of the 1996 postseason, Pettitte gave up seven home runs. Poor baby.)

And well, Gene, if you ever did anything good, you gave me an excuse to watch this video again to see that stat. Mmmm, thank you for that. Just FYI, I got distracted for like twenty minutes watching that. So. Freaking. Hot. Um, anyway.

No team has recovered from a 3-1 Series deficit since 1985, when the Kansas City Royals beat the St. Louis Cardinals. It couldn't happen again, could it?
Of course it could happen again. It's rare, but I'll bet it happens sometime again. Heck, some day some team will probably come back from an 0-3 series hole again, too.

If it does, the Phillies' miracle comeback would be completed on the number everyone is talking about.

Three days.
ZOMG you are teh clever. Also, I know you wanted to paint the Phillies as some cute underdogs, Gene, but it wouldn't really be a "miracle."

How long until baseball and America's Next Top Model start up again so I can stop spending time on this crap?!


* How is his BA better than his OBP? Posada can't even do stats right!!!

Gene Wojciechowski is not very good at this baseball thing.

Like most people who are really into baseball, I adore Fire Joe Morgan. Heck, I wish I had come up with it, simply so that there could have been a few more pro-Jeter articles and less "Jason Varitek is awesome!", heh. Anyway, though I will never be nearly as good as Fire Joe Morgan, I will attempt to do so with two articles by non-baseball writer extraordinaire, Gene Wojciechowski. The two articles are here and here. I decided to get some background info on Mr. W., so I went to Wikipedia, where I found:

Gene Wojciechowski is a sports columnist, best known for his work with ESPN.

Born in Salina, Kansas, he became a senior writer for ESPN The Magazine in January 1998, having worked as a football reporter for the network since 1992. He was named senior national sports columnist for ESPN in June 2005. He also has worked at the Los Angeles Times, Dallas Morning News, and Denver Post. Wojciechowski graduated from the University of Tennessee, and he began his career as a sports writer covering college football and college basketball.

Do you notice something about that information? Yeah. It's that he didn't cover baseball. I'm gonna guess there's a reason for that, namely that he sucked at it. Anyway, let's start with the A-Rod article.

A-Rod Whiffing in First Series Opportunity
Yankees are in big trouble unless Rodriguez can recover from his 0-for-8, 6 K start

NEW YORK -- A-Rod to K-Rod?

Do you know there's like, an actual player nicknamed K-Rod? Because this confused me for a while when I was reading it the first time around.

That will be the knee-jerk reaction to Alex Rodriguez's World Series plunge into Oh-fer Land. And for once, the knee has a point.
No, no it doesn't. Because it was two darn good pitching performances, and it's TWO GAMES.

Scalding hot in the two previous rounds of this postseason, Rodriguez is now colder than those $10 draft beers they're selling at the Yankee Stadium concession stands. His numbers are boo-grade material: Eight at-bats. Zero hits. Six strikeouts.
Yeah, let's boo A-Rod after he pretty much single-handedly carried us through the first two rounds.

"It's eight at-bats," Rodriguez said. "I'm not concerned at all."
Guess who's being right and logical about this? If you guessed Woj, you're... wrong.

Rodriguez's New York Yankees overcame his non-production in Thursday night's 3-1 win in Game 2 against the Philadelphia Phillies, but how long can they survive with A-Rod flailing away at the plate? Answer: They can't.
I dunno, they got pretty far with some guys doing almost nothing, including the guy who actually led the AL in HR and RBI.

The Yankees salvaged a split at home, but not because of anything Rodriguez did. Yes, it's been only eight at-bats -- eight mostly gruesome at-bats.

Rodriguez has hit exactly one ball out of the infield -- a routine fly out to left. He has more K's in the World Series than he did in his previous 32 playoff at-bats against the Minnesota Twins and Los Angeles Angels this October (five).
He wasn't flailing away at shit like he was in 2006. Cliff Lee was really friggin' on; pretty much no one had good at-bats against him. Pedro was mostly on, and A-Rod at least had some pretty good at-bats against him. And at this point, who had good numbers on the Yankees?

So there's no other way to say it: He's been Nick Swisher-like since the Series began, nearly useless with that black Louisville Slugger in his gloved hands. Swisher and his .114 postseason got benched for Game 2 (about time)
Yeah, let's bench superior offensive players for inferior offensive players based on numbers from five years ago. And by Nick Swisher-like, do you mean unfairly attacked because of A LOW BATTING AVERAGE O NOS while getting on base a ton and hitting with quite a bit of pop? Because, at this point in the Series, A-Rod wasn't even doing that.

but Rodriguez stays in the lineup because (A) he's A-Rod and (B) the Yankees wouldn't be in the World Series without his combined 14 hits, .438 average, five home runs, 12 RBIs and 10 runs in the American League Division Series and AL Championship Series.
It's a little bit more nuanced than "he's A-Rod." But let's bench one of the best hitters in baseball because he had two shitty games against two excellent pitching performances. Ramiro Pena would have hit a home run off of Lee, I just know it!!!!!

"He got us here," said Jerry Hairston Jr., who replaced Swisher in Thursday night's lineup.

That's nice.
You're right, it is. Oh shit, you were being sarcastic.

But unless Rodriguez remembers how to hit, the Yankees aren't going to win their first World Series since 2000. The same offense that led the big leagues in home runs and runs has scored four times in two games against the Phillies. Keep that up and they can DVR the Phillies' victory parade next week.
And yet they still won one game. I guess the Yankees' victory over the Braves from 1996 doesn't count because the Braves actually outhit and outscored the Yankees. And again, it's not like the Yankee hitters were going crazy and A-Rod was sucking. If A-Rod had constantly been coming up with RISP and striking out, well, that might have made me a little more pissed off. But the two Phillies' pitchers' performances, up to this point, had been so good that the only way the Yankees scored were:
a. an error on a DP ball.
b. two solo HRs, one of which was off a pitch basically in the dirt.
c. Charlie Manuel being dumb and sending Pedro out for an inning too many.

There was no way Rodriguez could sustain a .438 average and the kind of power numbers he was putting up in the ALDS and ALCS. And the way Phillies starter Cliff Lee pitched in Game 1, A-Rod was just part of the conga line of Yankees batters who could do zilch.
Reason!!! Logic!!!!

But Thursday evening's game was against 38-year-old Pedro Martinez. Speed guns don't even bother measuring his fastball anymore. Plus, Martinez was battling flu-like symptoms.

Martinez struck A-Rod out twice. Reliever Ryan Madson struck him out once.
Mentioning his age and the fact that he's got a not-great fastball means pretty much nothing. Pedro might not be throwing however fast he threw when he was with the Sox, but the guy knows how to pitch. Did you see what he did against the Dodgers? Did you actually watch him pitch against the Yankees? He was really good. And are you going to mention that Jeter struck out three times, too?

A night earlier, Lee struck him out three times. Four times this season, Rodriguez has had three-strikeout games. Three of those K-fests have come against the Phillies, once in the regular season.

"The fact that I'm oh-for-the-Series and we're 1-1 and the guys picked me up today makes me feel really good about going into Game 3," he said.
Oh look, A-Rod making sense.

That's the Smiley Face perspective, and it makes a lot of sense.
You're right, it does. I don't know why you're being so cynical about it.

But the ultracritical, ultranervous Yankees fan perspective flashes back to A-Rod's postseason no-shows in 2006 and 2007. Rodriguez "hit" .071 with zero homers and nary an RBI in the playoff elimination to Detroit, and .267 with one home run and one RBI in the elimination to Cleveland.
A-Rod had a terrible Detroit series, batting .071 with a .205 OPS (YIKES). He was terrible, but he wasn't alone. Cano had a .267 OPS. Sheffield, .167. But what really killed the Yankees in the 2006 postseason was the pitching. Detroit's ERA for that series was 3.60. The Yankees', 5.56.

The Cleveland series was not A-Rod's fault AT ALL. He batted .267, sure. Melky batted .188. Jeter, .176. Matsui, .182. Posada, who was as insanely hot as A-Rod that season, .133. Once again, though, it was the pitching that doomed the Yankees. Cleveland's ERA was 3.41. The Yankees, 5.89. Wang, the Yankees' ace, had two starts, where he gave them only 5.2 innings, giving up 14 R, 12 ER, in those innings, for a hideous 19.06 ERA. His WHIP was over three and he walked more guys than he struck out. No, this doesn't mean Wang is a choker. It means he had a really bad two games.

A-Rod was awesome in the 2009 ALDS. He carried the team offensively, for sure, along with Jeets. But Jeter had a 1.467 OPS and Posada, 1.348 in the Detroit series. If AJ Burnett and Andy Pettitte imploded like Randy Johnson and Jaret Wright in 2006 or Wang in 2007 did in their starts, the Yankees wouldn't have won the series.

This October was different because A-Rod's bat said it was different. He was 5-for-11 against the Twins, 9-for-21 against the Angels. He was unstoppable. Now he has trouble putting a ball in play.
Psht he was not unstoppable. If he was TRULY unstoppable, he would have been 11-for-11 and 21-for-21!!!! Anything less than perfection with A-Rod is NOT OKAY!!!!

"I think they're being careful," said Rodriguez of the Phillies' pitching strategy toward him. "But overall I'm just glad that I got picked up today by the boys in front of me and behind me. … I'm going to be fine."

Mark Teixeira, who hits in front of A-Rod in the 3-spot, tied the score in the fourth inning with a 414-foot homer. Hideki Matsui, who bats fifth, put the Yankees ahead in the sixth with a 9-iron home run swing to right field. Rodriguez played the role of dugout cheerleader.
Oh look, A-Rod's right again. Also, oh no, he was a "dugout cheerleader," that's so... awful? I mean, when those things were happening, AJ Burnett and Mariano Rivera were in the dugout cheering, and they were probably the most responsible for the Yankees winning that game.

The Yankees got a shutdown performance from starter A.J. Burnett. Given the situation (the possibility of a 2-0 Series deficit), Burnett's seven-inning, four-hit, nine-strikeout performance was his best outing of the season. Throw in Teixeira's and Matsui's clutch dingers and Mariano Rivera's two-inning save, and the Yankees head to Philly with a must-have split.

"Now we've got a five-game Series," Rodriguez said.

He hopes. As good as the Yankees' lineup is, it revolves around A-Rod, their cleanup hitter.
What do you mean "he hopes"? They're not gonna be like "well A-Rod hasn't had a hit yet, therefore we're actually giving Game 2 to the Phillies." And the Yankee lineup is so ridiculous, it could generally survive a funk by A-Rod for a couple of games. Which, oh yeah, that's all this turned out to be.

In the 2009 regular season, Rodriguez put up huge numbers after three-strikeout games -- a combined 8-for-10 with five RBIs. But in his first-ever World Series, Rodriguez has followed one three-strikeout performance with another three-strikeout night.

"It's two games," Hairston said of A-Rod's struggles. "It really is. … The next two games, he could go 8-for-10. That's how good he is."
A-Rod in the two games after this: 2-for-6, .333/.600/1.000/1.600, 1 HR, 1 2B, 3 RBI. I'd say all of those RBIs were pretty "clutch" too; one basically woke the Yankees up when Hamels had been cruising, and one was the game-winner in a tie game in the top of the ninth. Obviously these are all small sample sizes, but do they meet your oh-so-lofty standards, Gene?

Right now, we've seen how bad he is. It is a familiar theme, a theme Rodriguez tried to distance himself from as he stepped in front of his locker after the game. I asked him about his Game 1 and 2 difficulties. He ignored the question.
Oh, THAT'S why you're writing this article - A-Rod ignored your rude-ass question so you got all annoyed and decided to smear him. I get it. Plus, he's a Yankee. Booooo, Yankees!!!!!

"Just a great win overall," he said. "Just a great win. Great team effort. Guys swing the bats in front of me and behind me. Story of the day is A.J. Burnett."
This is a totally meh answer, but if Jeter said something this bland, would anyone give a shit and try to psychoanalyze it?

Burnett might have been the story of Thursday night, but Rodriguez's inability to get a hit -- a squibber through the hole, a bloop, a seeing-eye something … anything -- is fast becoming the story of this Series. Not only is a world championship at stake here but also a personal legacy.
No, it was part of the story of the first two games. That's because the biggest part of the story of the first two games was the excellent pitching.

"Everything right now is magnified," A-Rod said.

He was talking about Teixeira and the importance of that fourth-inning home run. But with each lost at-bat, Rodriguez's failures receive greater inspection.

Hit, or else. It's that simple.
You're right. So, are you gonna write an article about how A-Rod is godly based on his Game 3-6 performance? No? How utterly unsurprising.



This post is long, so I'll cover the next one in a separate one.

Justine Credible watches ESPN.

Justine Credible: Oh hey, Baseball Tonight. I know it's ESPN and all, but I'm gonna watch it!
Bobby Valentine: I think we should have more instant replay in baseball!
Justine Credible: YES! I love you Bobby Valentine! I love you for inventing the wrap sandwich and that time you got kicked out of a game and came back with a disguise on!
Bobby Valentine: The Yankees might not have won the World Series with better umpiring!
Justine Credible: Oh no.
Bobby Valentine: We need instant replay! If a correct call is made on Mauer's fair/foul ball, maybe they don't win the ALDS! And A-Rod's home run off of Hamels was only a double!
Justine Credible: (while tearing her hair out) You're right, we don't know what happens if that Mauer call is correct and he gets the double. All we know is that the Twins managed to go from a situation that was "runner on second, nobody out" to "bases loaded, nobody out" - which is a situation more likely to get a run home - and couldn't score. And you're making an argument for replay by saying the A-Rod home run call was wrong, when it was only called a home run because of instant replay?!

ELLLL DUUUUUQUEEEEE

Rules.

Hahaha they made age jokes, that's awesome. And I don't think Damon went there at the end, but who cares, El Duque's awesomeness blinds the umpires (and let's not pretend the Red Sox haven't gotten a trillion favorable calls at Fenway because the umpires are too scared to call anything else. Brian Fuentes from that one game last year says hey).

DISTURBING THOUGHT ALERT

I just realized Posada has, like, kind of a perfect body, considering the kind of guys I like. I mean, his legs and ass, damn. But then you get to the neck and above and it's just like... no.

Nooooo why am I having these thoughts about Jorge Posada he is so weird-looking :(

This was pretty frigging awesome, too, on the night Jeter tied Gehrig.

Skip Bayless is Rick Bayless' BROTHER?!

How could someone so awesome (Rick) be related to someone so AWFUL (Skip)?!

OWNED

I love Failbook

lols

what IS this?

whoah

Valentine's Day is getting... like... the worst reviews ever.

holy SHIT

Mariano Rivera's OPS-against in the postseason: .445!!!!!!! His K/BB ratio: 5.10!!!!!

do I want to see The Hurt Locker?

Hmmm.

the most Mets-like way to lose a series ever

The 1999 National League Championship Series.

The Mets, Wild Card winners, faced the Atlanta Braves who, this being the 1990s and all, were the NL East winners. The Braves were 9-3 on the season against the Mets and many members of the Braves, led by huge asshole John Rocker, mocked them and their fans, especially when, two games back in the Wild Card with three to play, the Mets looked unlikely to make the playoffs. But they finished the season in a tie for the Wild Card with the Reds, and won the one-game playoff on my one true love (well, after Andy Pettitte) Al Leiter's complete game two-hit shutout. Both the Mets and the Braves won their division series in four games, leading to a showdown in the NLCS.

The Mets' starters gave their teams very good starts, but behind Maddux, Millwood's ridiculous career year, and Glavine, the Braves took a 3-0 series lead. At the time, no team had ever come back from that deficit or, in that situation, pushed a series to a Game 7, and only one team had even forced a Game 6. In Game 4, the Braves had a 2-1 lead going into the bottom of the eighth, but the Mets managed to score twice off of their torturer John Rocker, and Armando Benitez somehow held on for the save.

Game 5 was the longest postseason game ever, at nearly six goddamn hours, until games in 2004 and then 2005 beat it (one of the worst parts of 2004 was not only that we lost in such a frigging awful way, but that the games were so unbearably long AND THEN WE LOST THEM AAARGH). The Mets scored two runs off Greg Maddux in the first, but he settled down after that. The Braves countered with two runs of their own in the fourth. Then, no scoring happened until the top of the fifteenth, when Keith Lockhart tripled in Walt Weiss. All the Braves had to do was hold on, and they would go to the World Series. But they didn't hold on; a bases-loaded walk and the generally awesome Robin Ventura's "grand slam single" led to the Mets' win.

Game 6. Al Leiter, so awesome in the tiebreaker game, obviously didn't have it. In the first inning, he hit two batters and gave up five runs, and was done before he could record an out. The Mets were held scoreless by Kevin Millwood until the sixth, when they scored three runs to make it a 5-3 game. In the bottom of the sixth, however, the Braves responded by scoring two insurance runs. With a comfortable four-run lead in the seventh, playoff pitcher extraordinaire John Smoltz came in out of the bullpen to shut the Mets down and send the Braves to the World Series.

However, maybe not fully warmed up, he let the Mets score twice, then, ahead 7-5, faced the injured but still feared Mike Piazza with a man on base. Piazza hit his first extra-base hit of the postseason, a home run. Tie game. In the top of the eighth, the Mets scored once to put themselves ahead 8-7, but John Franco couldn't hold that lead and the Braves tied it up in the bottom of that inning. Armando Benitez and John Rocker delivered a scoreless ninth inning, as the game moved into extra innings.

In the top of the tenth, the Mets scored off of Rocker in his second inning of work (hmm maybe he's not Mariano Rivera), but like Franco, Benitez couldn't hold the lead (hmmm maybe he's not Mariano Rivera either), and the tenth inning ended in a 9-9 tie. Some guy named Russ Springer shut the Mets down 1-2-3 in the top of the eleventh.

Bottom of the eleventh. For the Mets, out comes Kenny Rogers. He allows a leadoff double to Gerald Williams, then Bret Boone bunts him over to third. Looking for the double play, Rogers intentionally walks the dangerous Chipper Jones and Brian Jordan. Up steps Andruw Jones (this is when he was good, before he was fat and sucked). And the Braves win the game, and the series... on a walk-off walk.

I think this is like the worst way to lose a series, especially considering that the Mets had to watch the World Series be Yankees vs. Braves. At the time, that was the equivalent of all the agony the Mets went through with the Yankees/Phillies World Series this year. It might be worse than the 2006 NLCS for Mets fans. I mean, they went to the WS the next year, so it had to hurt a lot less, but yeah. If this happened to the Yankees, I think I'd throw shit at the wall, but because it's the Mets, LOLMets.