This is what happens when your boyfriend has to work at night back at home so you are up without someone to cuddle with on Valentine's Day
What's not to like about Philly?
I don't know, maybe you hate cheesesteak?
Fifteen reasons to root for the defending champion Phillies in the World Series
PHILADELPHIA -- Now that the Philadelphia Phillies have put the phinishing touches
AAAAAGHHHHH WHYYYY
on the Los Angeles Dodgers and Mr. Shower Loofah, Manny Ramirez,
So... am I the only one that didn't think this story was such a big friggin' deal? Nobody was freaking out when Burnett said he heard Yankee Stadium absolutely rock - when he was in the shower - during Game 2 of the ALDS.
it's time to turn our attention to the upcoming World Series.
Assuming the New York Yankees will do what the Phillies did -- win their league championship playoff in five games (six, tops) -- we're going to have a New Jersey Turnpike series.
Ol' Gene got lucky that this actually happened. But the entire basis of this article was the Phillies vs. the Yankees. What would have happened if the Angels won? Then this article would have looked incredibly stupid. Well, stupider.
No way are the Yankees going to need a barf bag against the other L.A. (sort of) team, the Angels. If they do, the Steinbrenners will send manager Joe Girardi to go live with Balloon Boy's parents.
lols topical humor or something. Also, Hal Steinbrenner =/= his insanely impulsive and trigger-happy, God bless him, father.
And any non-dumb Yankee fan knows the way the team has played against the Angels the past couple of years (hint: they look like crap against them, often, especially in Anaheim), plus they remembered, you know, that year when The Bad Thing happened. The Yankees had looked better in the ALCS for sure up to that point, but I wasn't going to declare victory in the series until we had four wins, thank you very much.
Anyway, the Yankees will be favored to win the World Series. They've been favored to win it all since Derek Jeter pulled into the team's spring training parking lot in Tampa about nine months ago.
No, they actually haven't been, because ESPN analysts like yourself were too busy drooling over the Red Sox signing Smoltz and Penny and blabbering on about how A-Rod could never deal with the pressure after the whole PED admission thing and talking about how he would suck if he came back. In fact, most experts, rather predictably, didn't even choose the Yankees to win the division; they picked the Sox instead. The Yankees probably should have been favored, but, well, you should have hopped on that bandwagon earlier, hmm?
The Yankees have the most expensive baseball ballpark. They have the priciest baseball roster. They have the biggest baseball expectations.
I started to write something here, but then I fell aslezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
"The Yankees are hot,'' said Phillies manager Charlie Manuel.
With Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter, Andy Pettitte, Francisco Cervelli, Phil Hughes, Robinson Cano and his heartbreaking smile, and Mark Teixeira on their roster, this statement is definitely true. Heck, even sometimes Mo can look devastatingly handsome (and sometimes he looks, as SOSH might say, like a bat. I'd rather have a closer that looks like a bat than an anusmouth, though.). Even Johnny Damon was sort of adorable in a goofy way, and his arms were... well his arms were nice to look at. And I do believe I talked about how awesome Posada's ass was the other day. Oh God, I can't believe I wrote about that. ANYWAY!
And the Phillies? The Phillies have the 2008 World Series trophy. They'd like to add the 2009 World Series trophy to their collection.
But don't forget, they are the humble underdogs.
And all they have to do is beat a team with homefield advantage and at least three future Hall of Famers.
Pointing out the Yankees have homefield advantage = kind of important
Pointing out the Yankees have three future Hall of Famers = not that important
Guys like Jeter, Mo, and A-Rod are basically locks for the HoF because they've been playing so long at such high levels. If Ryan Howard and Chase Utley keep up what they're doing, they might be, too. Both teams are really talented. Just saying they're future Hall of Famers doesn't really mean anything at this point, though. Randy Johnson and Greg Maddux are both certain to be first-ballot Hall of Famers, but if I put the 2009 versions of them on the team instead of CC Sabathia and Andy Pettitte, well, that'd give the team five future Hall of Famers but, uh, it wouldn't make the team any better.
"Let me tell you,'' said Manuel, to the Citizens Bank Park sellout crowd after the Phillies 10-4 victory Wednesday night, "we got one more step and we gonna get it.''
I'm not rooting for the Phillies (I'll let John Kruk do the secret cheering), but I can see why you could. In fact, I can see why you should.
I'm not rooting for the Phillies. I'm just going to write an article about why you should root for the Phillies, while simultaneously writing an article about why you should not root for the other team.
Reason No. 1 -- Manuel
He talks like a hick from the sticks. He looks like a guy who repairs tractor axles for a living. But the Phillies don't have any problems translating that thick, western Virginia accent and those country boy sayings of his (Like this one about the impossibility of pitching perfection: "I've got an old saying: 'That Louisville will find you.''').
Huh? Oh -- Louisville, as in Louisville bat. Got it.
None of this is wrong. I really love Charlie Manuel. And all of this is perhaps the most correct thing Woj ever wrote. Though is Charlie saying a perfect game won't ever happen? I dunno, Charlie, there are a couple of (I always forget Javy was the opposing pitcher in that game, weird) 'em that I can remember quite vividly from my lifetime. Including one that happened earlier in the freakin' year!
Manuel wasn't immediately embraced in this city -- not that he cared.
SEE HE IS TOTALLY NOT LIKE GIRARDI WHO CARED BOOOO CARING
He grinded away, won last year's World Series while managing with a heavy heart (his mom had just died), and now has the best postseason record among active managers with at least 20 games of playoff experience. In the last two postseasons, he's a combined 18-5.
Uhhhh, that's a pretty freaking specific and small sample size you picked out to prove your point. Joe Girardi was 5-0 in his first five games in the playoffs as a manger. That's the best postseason record among managers with only five games of playoff experience! (Way to purposefully leave out the '07 sweep at the hands of the Rockies, too, Gene.)
"As I'm sitting here, I know we can win the World Series again,'' said Manuel. Dodgers manager Joe Torre congratulated Manuel in a stadium corridor not far from the Phillies clubhouse. Torre, who won four World Series with the Yankees, knows what Manuel has done.
"Getting to the World Series two years in a row is not easy to do,'' said Torre.
"What is easy," he continued, "is taking all the credit for the performance of very good players I happened to be given by the Yankees' GM and owner, and putting all the blame on these same excellent players, as well as the higher-ups, whenever I failed in any way. And then writing a book about it." (Boom, roasted!!!)
Reason No. 2 -- Pinstripe Overload
The Yankees have made a mind-numbing 48 postseason appearances. They've won 26 World Series titles and 39 pennants. They need another trophy like Mark Teixeira needs another vowel.
Okay, that Teixeira comment was actually pretty funny. But OH NO THE YANKEES WON FIVE TIMES IN A ROW IN THE 1940s AND 1950s!!!! THAT MEANS THEY SHOULDN'T WIN THIS YEAR!!!!!
Meanwhile, you can fit the Phillies' World Series hardware (two since 1883) into George Steinbrenner's Altoids tin.
Yeah, and one of those trophies came last year. When the Yankees didn't make the playoffs. Why are the Phillies underdogs again? They're really lucky they were playing the Yankees in the World Series in 2009, because that's the only way they would ever be viewed as an underdog while they were the defending champions.
Reason No. 3 -- The Philly Phanatic
The Yankees think God invented pinstripes. The Phanatic will lovingly and appropriately mock them.
I love the Philly Phanatic but uhhh... what? Also, how dare the Yankees be proud to be Yankees, probably the most storied franchise in any sport. You know, all those rings you just talked about, Gene?
Reason No. 4 -- Wallet Size
I actually just said "Oh noooooo" out loud.
If you want to root for a franchise that probably spent more money on its 1,400 video monitors at new Yankee Stadium than the Florida Marlins did on their entire payroll, then the Yankees are your team. Their $201-million-plus player payroll (and that's down from a season ago) once again leads the majors.
This shit again? I'm rooting for the Yankees because I was raised a Yankee fan. I've loved them since before I knew what "payroll" even meant. Oh, and the Marlins' owners are way more concerned with pocketing the luxury tax money they get from the Yankees for themselves than having a good team that fans will enjoy. The Yankees' owners want to put the best possible product on the field. HOW DARE THEY!!!!
The Phillies aren't exactly doing their roster on the cheap, but they're still spending about $88 million less than the Yankees.
I'm wondering if Gene wrote an article like this in 2008 about rooting for the Rays over the Phillies, or in 2007 about rooting for the Rockies over the Red Sox. I'm gonna guess not.
Reason No. 5 -- Girlfriend Sightings
Citizens Bank Park is a Kate Hudson-free venue.
A presumably straight male sportswriter doesn't like seeing a gorgeous woman on television while he watches baseball? Okay then.
Reason No. 6 -- Overdog vs. Underdog
Mariano Rivera blows a save as often as Roger Clemens tells the truth about his performance enhancer use.
Obligatory dig at a Yankee!!!
Rivera is the surest thing since sunrises.
The Phillies' Brad Lidge? The leading cause of gnawed fingernails.
Lidge blew more saves than any closer in the big leagues this year. He might have blown more saves than anybody in the Little Leagues this year.
For a while there, he was human lighter fluid.
Nothing against The Sandman, but I'm rooting for The Semi-Flawed One.
Of course you are.
Lidge has been through baseball reliever hell this season. Wouldn't it be amazing if Lidge, not the amazing Rivera, put the Yanks to sleep?
Uh, why would it be? Sure, he went through hell this season, but last season for Lidge was reliever heaven: perfect in save opportunities, a very impressive 48/48, including the playoffs, winning all sorts of "NL Reliever of the Year" awards, and, oh yeah, he got a ring to go along with all of that. Soooo many relief pitchers are dying to have just one year like Lidge's 2008. Try coming up with a metaphor for that that simultaneously demeans the Yankees in some way there, Gene!
Plus, it's not like Mariano is arrogant about his talent or unlikable in any way. You're spite-rooting against him/for the other guy just because he's a Yankee and he's really good at what he does and has been throughout his career. That is ridiculous and dumb. And what happens if the Angels had pulled the win out over the Yankees and it was Lidge vs. Fuentes? It would have been terribly fun, in a sort of schadenfreude-y way, to see Lidge vs. the Rally Monkey or Fuentes vs. the Citizens Bank Bandbox.
Also, if you talk to Yankee haters, because of Game 7 of the 2001 World Series and 2004 (his only bad postseason), you'll hear an endless litany of what a "choker" Mo is and how this means Papelbon/other assorted closers are better. I am serious.
Reason No. 7 -- City Envy
New York is The City That Never Sleeps.
Philadelphia is The City That Has An Inferiority Complex About The City That Never Sleeps.
New York and Philly are separated by a turnpike, about 100 miles and attitude. New Yorkers consider Philadelphia a really nice imitation of Cleveland -- and Philadelphians know it too. Nothing would give this city more pleasure than watching the Phillies slice and dice the Big Apple into baseball submission.
Well I'm sure this isn't going to bring up any sort of controversy at all. And having been to both cities, this New Yorker certainly doesn't consider Philadelphia and Cleveland to be anything alike. And finally, we should root for the Phillies so that Philadelphia can feel a whole bunch of schadenfreude toward New York? And hey Philadelphia (and let's face it, Boston), if you use a friggin' baseball series to make definitive statements about your city compared to ours, that's just pathetic. Yes, I'm aware New York tabloid newspapers were doing this to Philadelphia prior to the series, and that's pathetic too.
Reason No. 8 -- This One's For Harry
Beloved. Adored. Revered. Respected. Remembered. Every single day.
There's a reason why the Phillies keep Harry Kalas' sportcoat and a pair of his loafers in their dugout each game and wear a patch with his initials on their unis. The legendary play-by-play man, who died earlier this season, was, as our Jayson Stark so eloquently wrote at the time, "the soundtrack of Philadelphia Phillies baseball.''
If the Phillies beat the Yankees, Manuel ought to spray champagne on Harry's jacket. For old time's sake.
The 2001 New York Yankees did not win the World Series. In fact, they lost it in about the most heartbreaking way possible. Since then, I've really tired of this whole "x team will win it for _____" thing. Also, again, if the Phillies had played the Angels, there was the whole Nick Adenhart story. Kalas seemed like an amazing person who loved life, and he was a great broadcaster. But he was an old man who died of natural causes. Adenhart's death has to be viewed as more tragic. And the Yankees are doing it for The Boss, too, I suppose.
Reason No. 9 -- Watchability
The Phillies hit four home runs in Wednesday night's NLCS clincher against the Dodgers They've hit 14 homers during this postseason and outscored L.A., 35-16, in the NLCS. No team has scored more runs during these playoffs than Philly.
They hit 224 dingers during the regular season, trailing only the Yankees (244). The Yankees were first in the big leagues in RBIs, runs and total bases. The Phillies were first in the NL in all those categories. They're the closest thing to an AL lineup playing in the other league. Plus, they stole 119 bases.
"They kept coming at us,'' said Torre.
The Phillies' pitching will undergo serious strain against the Yankees' lineup, but …
"Right now, for the National League, we're outstanding and we can stay after you and we can put up a big number on you anytime during the game,'' said Manuel. "And that makes us a real good team.''
Think this Phillies-Yankees thing might be fun?
You should root for the Phillies because they're exciting because they hit a lot of home runs and score a lot. Even though the Yankees actually do those things more, you should totes root for the Phillies. Also, AAAGH THE YANKEES HADN'T WON THEIR SERIES YET!!!!
Reason No. 10 -- Two-peats
No team has won back-to-back World Series since … the Yankees. In fact, the Yanks went three-peat from 1998-1999-2000.
Wasn't that awesome? That was awesome.
And no National League team has gone back-to-back since the 1975-76 Cincinnati Reds.
Be nice to see someone new make a run at dynasty status.
Getting to two World Series in a row pretty much qualifies as "making a run" at a dynasty if that's your bare minimum qualification, I'd say. Also, WAAAH THE PHILLIES ARE RUINING BASEBALL!!! WHERE'S THE PARITY?!?!
Reason No. 11 -- Confessions
That Usher song was really overplayed. For obvious reasons, I don't mind it too much here though. Prettiness.......... anyway.
Admitted PED users on the Yankees: two. Admitted PED users on the Phillies: zero.
Do you see that ADMITTED word? Yeah? It's pretty freaking important. I'd bet good money there are (at least former) PED users on the Phillies, and more than two PED users on the Yankees. Also, players suspended for using banned substances during the 2009 season on the Phillies: one. And all these guys got constantly tested during the playoffs. Yeah, there are probably things that aren't detectible, but let's not pretend that, like, Jeter's gonna be sticking a needle in his ass before every game.
I had a whole rant written up here, but I realize it basically accused a player - who I like very much - of possibly using PEDs, which is incredibly unfair of me, so I took it down. (if you want to get the general gist of it, look at the career leaders in HR/PA.)
Reason No. 12 -- Start Spreading The News
The Yankees play Frank Sinatra's "New York, New York'' on the stadium P.A. system after a win.
The Phillies play Sinatra's "High Hopes'' -- sung by Kalas -- after a win. One is a self-back pat. The other seems more, well, genuine.
I'm not even gonna dignify this with a comment.
Reason No. 13 -- Ryan Howard
A-Rod is, at last, having a postseason to remember, not forget.
Obligatory A-Rod insult. Also, you know, his 2000 postseason was pretty awesome (and his 2004 very good, even with him struggling at the end of the ALCS). But it wasn't with the Yankees so I guess it doesn't count.
But Howard has RBIs and hits in eight of his first nine playoff games this October (he went 0-for-2 Wednesday evening with two walks and a run scored).
When this article was written, before Game 5 of the ALCS, A-Rod had a hit and at least one RBI in all of the postseason games he'd played in 2009. What's your point?
And Howard, who has led or shared the majors lead in regular season RBIs three of the last four seasons, does all of this in a quiet, understated way -- and usually against a huge defensive shift to the right side of the infield.
See, he is QUIET and UNDERSTATED. This is NOT another dig at A-Rod. Why would you think that??? (Also, the dude hits an assload of home runs. That's neither understated nor does it have anything to do with a defensive shift.)
Also, Ryan Howard's placing in the MVP voting since 2006: 1 (not undeserved, Pujols probably should have won though), 5, 2 (in a year when he had an .881 OPS as a 1B; that's good, but many others who appeared lower in the voting had better stats than that, including Chase Utley and his .915 OPS as a 2B and Hanley Ramirez, with a .940 OPS as a SS), 3. He also won Rookie of the Year in 2005. I love the Big Fella, but let's not pretend he's some ignored, underrated guy.
It wasn't much of a surprise, but Howard was named the NLCS MVP (.333, two home runs, eight RBIs).
A-Rod, not named ALCS MVP: .429, three home runs, six RBIs. And the only reason I think he didn't have more was because Scioscia made his pitchers simply stop pitching to him, which Torre never wised up to doing against Howard.
Reason No. 14 -- Home Address
New Yankee Stadium is drop-dead gorgeous. This is indisputable.
Thank you. It is.
But
Oh no.
you need to make A-Rod money to afford a seat in the place. It wasn't built for the people, but for the corporate suites.
I don't make A-Rod money. I am, in fact, unemployed. I went to five games last year.
Citizens Bank Park has the Liberty Bell, but not all the whistles. It is the anti-corporate park. Working stiffs with working stiffs paychecks can actually afford to go to a game. And unlike new Yankee Stadium, there aren't empty luxury couches behind home plate.
YANKEE STADIUM IS SOOOO QUIET AND EMPTY. NOBODY'S THERE TO SEE THE GAME!!!! Yes, please characterize all Yankee fans as snobs and all Philly fans as blue-collar, working-class people. It's just awesome of you, Gene.
I don't argue that way too many of those luxury seats were empty or filled with people that were more interested in ordering sushi and checking their Blackberries than watching the game. I'm just saying, that's not the only type of fan who goes to the frigging ballpark.
Reason No. 15 -- City of Love?
It's hard not to like these Phillies. I'm not saying the Yankees aren't likeable. They are, in sort of a regal way. After all, they're the Yankees.
I'm not saying the Yankees aren't likeable. I'm just writing an entire article about how the Yankees aren't likeable. Oh, and yeah, I know it was after this article was written, but remind me, what team was constantly talking about, among other things, how they'd figured out the other team's closer and how the starting pitchers on the other team weren't anything special? So likeable!
And did you miss when the Yankees started smashing pies in each others' faces after walk-off wins (not that they invented that) and had silly kangaroo courts with Mo in a judges' wig? They were getting criticized for not being regal enough.
But Philadelphia is crazy about this team -- and that doesn't happen very often. Remember, this city's sports motto is brutally consistent: "Philadelphia. We Hate Everybody.''
But not these Phillies. The city bear hugs them. If the most cyncial sports fans on the planet are heads over cleats about these guys, then they must be worth the effort.
That's because they're really good right now. When they're not winning, almost nobody in Philadelphia gives a shit about them, and they go care about the Eagles or the Flyers of the 76ers instead. I went to school so close to Philly that I could basically spit on the city; trust me on this. All teams have frontrunning fans, and I KNOW it looks bad that I started writing extensively about baseball when the Yankees got truly awesome again, but the Phillies have more than their share of frontrunning fans.
Said Phillies reliever Ryan Madson: "I think we're just ordinary guys that just do extraordinary things.''
Are the Phillies the new Red Sox? Please tell me the Phillies are not the new Red Sox. I like the Phillies. I don't want to have to spite-root against them because the media calls them "scrappy," "blue collar," and "gritty," or whatever else.
Now we find out if they can do those things against the extraordinary Yankees.
Or, you know, THE ANGELS, WHO HADN'T BEEN ELIMINATED YET.
In conclusion, Gene's reasons why you should root for the Phillies:
1. They have a funny manager who has been good in two postseasons when he got his team to the World Series.
2. The Yankees won a lot in the past.*
3. ... I can't even make sense of this one.*
4. The Yankees spend a lot of money.*
5. Kate Hudson goes to Yankee games.*
6. Mariano Rivera is good at what he does. This season, Brad Lidge is not.*
7. Philadelphia and New York have a weird relationship and if the Phillies win, Philly will get to feel superior.*
8. An old guy asssociated with the Phillies died.
9. The Phillies hit a lot of home runs and score a lot of runs. The Yankees hit more home runs and score more runs, but you should still cheer for the Phillies.
10. The Phillies might repeat.
11. Nobody on the Phillies has admitted to using PEDs; the Yankees are dirty.*
12. The song the Yankees play after their games is not as "genuine" as the one the Phillies play.*
13. The Phillies have a good player on their team. So do the Yankees but, you know, whatevs.
14. Yankee Stadium is for rich people only. Citizen's Bank Park has working-class people that attend games.*
15. The Yankees are not as likeable as the Phillies, as proven by the fact that Philadelphia supposedly loves the Phillies.*
* The Phillies were not guaranteed to play the Yankees at the point when Gene wrote this article. So basically, if the Angels had played the Phillies, two-thirds of this list wouldn't have been valid. An article about something supposedly totally different that turns into outright Yankee hating/bashing/mocking by ESPN, why I have never heard of something so shocking.
