Starting with Cycle 1...
Oh, and I'll be copy & pasting my descriptions about each photo from my Word document where I have all my call-outs and what have you.
CYCLE 1! TERRIBLE AND AWESOME!!!!
WORST
10. Nicole's snake beauty shot
"Ehhhh. It’s not terrible, but it’s not any good. I like what I can see of her neck, face, and body, and she’s rocking the red lipstick pretty well. But she really was the original queen of the one look, and it was one BAD look. It makes her look so hesitant and scared in every shot, when you zoom in on her face. It was less noticeable in say, Week 1, but here, there’s kind of no escaping it. Also, girlfriend looks drag. Like I said it’s not totally awful, but it’s genuinely bad during a really strong week."
9. Shannon's J.Lo swimwear
"Ooh, not good. The pose isn’t bad, but the rest of it is. Her face looks so completely not confident, you can tell she’s really freaked out. The way she holds her hand only adds to that impression, as do the gritted teeth. Shannon was really cute and young and fresh in person, but in this photo, she looks... I dunno how exactly how to describe it. Not exactly old, but older, and really very much not fresh."
8. Kesse's Paris lingerie
"Oh this is just… not good. I think she was trying to be sexy, but it comes off as just uncomfortable, unnatural, and awkward. You can hardly see the lingerie and you can’t see her face either. I see what she was going for with her pose, but it would have taken one hell of a model to make that look good… and unfortunately, Kesse just wasn’t that model. Overall, it’s awkward, not a good photo of the model, and not a lingerie ad. Fortunately for Kesse, there was a WAYYYY worse photo…"
7. Ebony's Stuff
"First off, that swimsuit would look good on no one. But besides that it’s just… too harsh. I think the smile is actually the best thing she could have gone for here, because it softens her up a little, but it looks kind of insecure and awkward. Her face looks old and greasy and her body is just way too muscular and she’s not de-emphasizing it. I think her look is so interesting and I wanted her to succeed but she just… didn’t."
6. Shannon's B&W beauty shot
"Two of these girls looked gorgeous and the other two looked like freaks. This photo is kind of bland, but at the same time, eyes are unfortunately dead, and the lips are weird and strangely non-existent. The arms are totally bizarre, but at least that comes out of her trying to push herself and not rest on pretty. It’s still not a very good photo. Go home Shannon."
5. Kesse's snake beauty shot
"The only photo of this week that was genuinely awful. Her face looks unbelievably pedestrian, to begin with, but her expression is what really kills it. She looks terrified and alarmed. Considering that the point of the shoot was to look confident with the snake, that’s really what killed the photo. Ugh. Sorry Kesse."
4. Robin's Stuff
"Oooh. BAD. Her body looks good, she doesn’t look plus-size, but that’s about the extent of this photo’s goodness. It’s not like the cropping is her fault, but the fact remains, half the bathing suit is cropped. Her body pose is okay but the face is just awful. I know Robin was 26, but she usually didn’t photograph 26… but yikes, she looks OLD here. Old and ugly, sorry to say. Yikes. Also, not for anything, the nipples are distracting. o_O"
3. Kesse's Reebok movement
"Though a few of the problems in this photo stem from its cropping, it’s just a very bad photo overall. Her arms and legs look totally weird. Seriously, look at the arms, one is totally huge and the other is tiny. The clothes don’t look very good on her… though I think that might be due to the ribbons, looking at it closely there’s not really anything wrong with the fit. Again, like Giselle’s, I don’t see this “penis” everyone is talking about. But where this photo is quite bad, and gets ruined, is in the face. She looks totally deranged but also like she needs to puke. It’s not a good face at all. And seriously photographers, WHY CROP OUT THE SHOES THAT THE GIRLS ARE ADVERTISING?! QUIT BEING SO DUMB."
2. Tessa's J.Lo swimwear
"Whenever I see this, I wanna scream STRIP CLUB! That’s a totally unflattering suit, but I don’t think I would have responded to that by leaning over and sticking my ass out. Good legs, but it’s not a flattering pose for her body. The open mouth only adds to the porno-ness, and her expression is overall kind of confused. A really bad photo."
1. Elyse's Paris lingerie
"OH JESUS CHRIST. I’ve heard people say that this is a true fashion shot and that people that don’t like this photo know nothing about fashion. I’M WILLING TO NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT FASHION IF KNOWING ABOUT FASHION MEANS I HAVE TO LIKE THIS SHOT. Sure, you can see the lingerie, but there is not a single other good thing about this shot. She looks tired, she looks old, she looks terrified, and worst of all, and the thing that really really really really really bothers me the most about this photo, she looks greasy. There have been worse pictures in ANTM history (though to be honest, not many… this is still top ten, easily!), but I’ve never seen another one where a girl looked greasy. Hell, they covered her in grease the next week, and she looked way cleaner and fresher than she does here. Oh, and her eyes are worse than dead. And she looks SOOOO AWKWARD and completely not confident at all. What the hell happened here? It’s SO BAD! SO BADDDDD!!!! Ahem."
BEST
10. Shannon's Reebok movement
"I love how sexy and energetic and “it’s all about me!” this photo is. Her body looks awesome and not scary skinny like she usually does. There’s a ton of dynamism in this photo, in her face, body, and hair, even though it’s in relative close-up, which is great to have. I love the fact that her face looks really energetic, and yet serene and calm. My biggest issue with this photo doesn’t even have to do with her… it’s that this was supposedly a shoe ad and whoever edited this photo CROPPED OUT THE SHOES. Why would you do that? Grrr. But it’s a great photo on Shannon’s part."
9. Robin's B&W beauty shot
"She actually looks gorgeous here; she was really beautiful but it didn’t photograph well most of the time. In this photo, she is beautiful, youthful, and modelesque. I do wish she pushed herself quite a bit more, apart from just staring emptily into space. It’s still a beautiful photo, though."
8. Adrianne's B&W beauty shot
"This photo is so stunning. Her eyes completely sparkle and she absolutely glows in front of the camera. God, she was soooo gorgeous. Her eyes, apart from naturally just… sparkling (no, not freaking smiling), really tell a story, making this photo more interesting to look at than any of the others. Her profile is fantastic. There are two versions of this photo floating around and I prefer one over the other, because in one she looks a little bit like a lollipop-head, but either version is the best photo of the week."
7. Elyse's nude
"Though I think Adrianne’s pose is stronger and she does a better job of advertising the diamonds. Elyse looks inhuman in the best way, like Lauren Brie’s suspended balloon ladder shot or CariDee’s scary/sexy B&W. Elyse’s eyes are incredible and create such a connection. I do wish it was a little sexier, actually, but that might just be in comparison to the hot hooker that is Adrianne. Elyse does actually look curvy, and that girl was A TWIG. It’s an awesome shot, but Adrianne’s is all the more awesome."
6. Robin's Paris lingerie
"I actually… really like… this photo…? I think everything about it is so subtle, but it’s a good fashion shot and advertisement. Robin looks absolutely gorgeous… look at that face, it’s flawless. Her body doesn’t look plus-size at all. And her skin is amazing, I want to steal it. What I really love about this photo is that I think it actually tells a story. I don’t know what that story is, but with the way they’re both staring out the window… I think it’s really striking. And Robin stands out, not that hot ass male model. Not to mention, she actually sells the product, hooray!!! I think this might be one of the most underrated photos in ANTM history, thinking about it… nobody else this week was anywhere near her level."
5. Elyse's Reebok movement
"I used to not like this. WHA? This is a great photo. She’s got an adorable pose and what’s more than that, it’s a genuinely editorial pose in even a commercial shoot… and she’s pulling it off, totally. That’s awesome. She looks high fashion and commercial-approachable at the same time. I love the coy look on her face too, and the contact with the sports guy, whoever he is. Her body looks great. The only issue is she lost an arm, but that’s only noticeable at this level of observation. Great editorial photo that could also be used for a commercial ad campaign. Oh, and look, the shoes are actually there!!! Don’t get used to that."
4. Giselle's snake beauty shot
"So great and really underrated. It’s so simple, but she’s bringing a lot to it with just the way she’s holding her face. She looks racially ambiguous, always a good thing for a model, and though it’s decidedly feminine, there’s a nice androgynous twist. I love how her and the snake are like… looking in the same direction and kind of have the same “expression.” That’s really darn cool. The slight sadness in her eyes is striking as well, but not so apparent that it would turn potential buyers off."
3. Elyse's Stuff
"This is a week where the very few girls at the top did GREAT and then, like, 8 other girls just did badly. In this case, Elyse and Giselle rocked it while the others… ehhhh? Anyway, I wouldn’t think Elyse would be able to pull this off but she did perfectly. It shows versatility on her part. She looks like an adorable pin-up model and she has a really good pose. Her body looks great and not TOO skinny and she shows off the swimsuit very well. Her face looks adorable. And it even looks like she’s got a butt! Best of the week by miles."
2. Adrianne's nude
"This photo is so goddamn awesome. It’s just stunning. Along with her snake beauty shot, it’s going to be one of the best ANTM photos ever for a really long time. Her eyes look incredible. She is soooo sexy and appealing here, without going over-the-top. Her pose and face are damn striking and she does an awesome job of advertising the diamonds. The fact that there are two versions of this shot floating around, and they’re BOTH so awesome, says so much about Adrianne. You can hate her for what she’s been up to since this show, but she was basically flawless on it."
1. Adrianne's snake beauty shot
"This is absolutely flawless. The intensity in her eyes and the way she poses her lips is just genius. You could argue that she’s letting the styling carry her, but I don’t think so. She’s incredibly gorgeous, sexy in a subtle way, and still completely modelesque. The expression in her eyes is just outstanding and I love what she’s doing with her lips. It’s so raw with the eyes, movement of the snake, and the mussed hair. Adrianne was a really strong model but I didn’t really think she was right for editorial/high fashionish work, but this photo proves me wrong. This photo will be one of the best photos in ANTM history for a long, long, LONG time to come."
