AWFUL!
10. Heather's suspended shot
"Yeah, it’s really bad. She looks freakishly short and it looks like all her limbs got weirdly foreshortened. The pose isn’t very good, because it completely scrunched her up and hid some of the clothes. I HATE her face; it looks absolutely snarly and just not good at all. And is her tongue lolling out? That’s just weird."
9. Sara's Eve
"While I thought the top eight photos were quite strong, especially for first week photos, I thought the bottom three photos were very weak. That pose has the potential to be awesome, though it is a little over-the-top and obvious, but her face totally ruins it. It’s frankly an ugly face, and she looks terrified. I think the styling is carrying her more than she carries the styling (what the hell is up with her boobs?), and her thigh looks thick."
8. Camille's Steve Madden
"The pose is okay; I really like how she shows off the shoes. Unfortunately, the rest of the photo is pretty terrible. Like I said, her pose is okay for showing off the shoes, but I never like “hey look at my crotch!!!” photos. She also completely lost her arms. Her face looks AWFUL; she looks farrrrr more like a drag queen than last week, and it’s a terrible angle on her face. The makeup isn’t flattering on her. Her entire face and body looks incredibly greasy. It’s kind of gross."
7. Xiomara's Eve
"The pose is okay but the front arm is awkward, especially the way she’s holding the apple, and the back arm totally disappeared. Her front leg looks totally thick and damn, they should have photoshopped it. Her facial close-up is awful, her eyes don’t look good because they’re weirdly crossed or something and she looks kind of old and draggy. The makeup isn’t flattering on her at all."
6. Mercedes' underwater
"I don’t think people realize how bad this photo is. I really strongly dislike her pose, it reminds me of S&M to be honest (maybe because I have a dirty mind?). Why is she locking her hands together? That’s so weird. Her face also looks like it did in her suspended shot… I just get this sweaty and greasy vibe from it. And that’s not good. And she’s underwater! Heh, while this pose may have been totally weird and not good during this particular photoshoot, it would have in fact been pretty awesome for the suspended shots two weeks earlier, and probably better than the pose she had!"
5. Heather's Steve Madden
"This photo is really bad. Her pose is so incredibly awkward; it looks like she’s wiping her ass and like, that she’s having difficulties doing it. The look on her face is terribly snarly and just not appealing in general. She’s showing off the shoes okay, but really, I think they all did a pretty good job with that. It’s hardly enough to put her any higher. Really, it just looks like she’s in some kind of pain. Eek."
4. Bethany's Eve
"The pose is really blah and doesn’t flatter her body at all. Sure, the styling doesn’t help, but the picture is honestly more funny than sexy and it’s certainly not at all elegant. The boobs are laughable, obviously, but the stupid expression on the face makes it even worse. That’s the expression of a cartoon character. Honestly, one of the worst photos in ANTM history, and definitely the most Smurf-esque! She’s lucky Anna didn’t do this photoshoot…"
3. Camille's suspended shot
"Terrrrrible. The upper body is there, sort of, but then the lower half is just… what the hell? It looks like her head is the same length as her legs, and like her arm on the left is about four times longer than anything else on her body. Her face looks absolutely atrocious, and she has a terrible expression on it. She isn’t advertising the clothes well at all."
2. Xiomara's Steve Madden
"I’m sorry, I can’t get over how horrible her face looks here. Her eyes are totally bugging out and she’s cross-eyed as ever. The pose is interesting, but not in a very good way. She’s basically just, uh, showing off her crotch and that’s not good. I mean… she looks like she’s spreadin’ it at the gyno’s. Or, it looks more like she’s advertising the pants, which are terrible (leather with plush bottoms???). She’s actually sort of hiding the shoes she’s supposed to be advertising!"
1. Xiomara's underwater
"Um, yeah. Mercedes’ photo might have been bad, like top hundred worst ever, but this photo is so so terrible, like a serious contender for top ten worst ever. It looks like she’s squatting over to take a poop and her body has absolutely no discernible shape. She’s doing a bad job showing off the clothes. Her face is awful… like, her eyes are closed. This couldn’t have been her best photo in the roll of film… right? Well, it’s Xiomara, so maybe."
AWESOME!!
10. Mercedes' Eve
"Gorgeous. This photo is easily one of the strongest first photos in ANTM history. It looks like she’s a million feet tall, the entire photo is just so incredibly regal, and I loooove that leg out in front and how she’s using the big swath of fabric, which could easily take over the photo, but Mercedes works it. The photo is incredibly elegant as well. Her face looks awesome, even with a ton of makeup. My only issue is that her back arm sort of disappeared, but you don’t even notice it until you’re ~critically examining~ these like I am."
9. Camille's underwater
"It’s very dynamic and sassy, and everyone knows I love sassy. It’s quite awesome that she could pose like that while underwater. All her legs and arms are there and whatnot, but the problem here is in her face and neck. She has no neck, her shoulders look super tense, and, as usual, she has no clue what to do with her face. Here, she looks kind of like a pufferfish. Fitting since she’s underwater I guess, but still not great. Still, I think it’s an awesome photo. It’s got an impact; it’s better than the sum of its parts."
8. April's Coliseum couture
"It’s kind of low-energy, but I actually like how it comes off here. Like, while it’s low energy, she definitely looks like she’s trying, know what I mean? Argh, I’m probably making no sense LOL. But, like Shandi’s photo, it’s simultaneously a casual pose and very deliberate. The photo looks relatively editorial, especially in comparison to her alert face. The bottom leg looks amazing. The sunglasses are prominently placed."
7. April's suspended shot
"She looks like a stealth warrior ninja, I love it! It’s super dynamic too. Nothing gets weirdly foreshortened and I love the look on her face. She has the cool gender ambiguity going on, which she usually didn’t, but it shows how versatile she was. She models the clothes extremely well and does an exciting job doing it, even. Seriously, slap on a logo and this is already an ad."
6. Catie's suspended shot
"It’s so simple, but it works so well. In fact, I think the simplicity is why it works so well! I love the juxtaposition of her easy pose and her “Who? Me? Oh I’m just hangin’ here” face, and the fact that she’s suspended over a giant hole. She sells the clothes extremely well and looks edgy and gender-ambiguous. The fact that she was freaking out about this photoshoot, yet she turned out such an awesome photo, only makes this photo all the better."
5. Mercedes' F3 beauty shot
"It’s not as HOLY SHIT AMAZING as Yoanna’s photo this week, but it’s still HOLY SHIT AMAZING though. I love the angle, the right intensity in her eyes, and the very very slight opening of her lips. Everything really works. It’s not as intense as Yoanna’s because she’s not looking at the viewer, but really it doesn’t matter because this photo is so darn good. You absolutely can’t tell that she often got attacked for being “too commercial,” because this photo is super awesome and more importantly, super editorial. It’s not as much of an ad as Yoanna’s, but it’s still a gorgeous photo."
4. Shandi's suspended shot
"I freaking adore it, it’s A Clockwork Orange meets fashion. Despite the long hair, it’s got that great HF androgyny thing going on. It’s effortlessly editorial. Her pose is different from most of the other girls’, yet still really strong. The pose seems a little weird when you can’t see the ring thing she’s holding on to, but it’s definitely not fatal to the photo. In fact, it adds to it. She sells the clothes extremely well, too."
3. April's underwater
"SO dynamic! Again, like in the suspended shot, she looks like some kind of awesome ninja warrior. She advertises the clothes incredibly well and looks modelesque and appealing, commercial while still editorial. It’s incredible that she was able to get that very exact pose while underwater but hey, it only shows how freaking awesome April was. As a final note, the heel grab is bleepin’ genius for her pose. Love it."
2. Shandi's Coliseum couture
"BRILLIANT. Sometimes photos just speak for themselves, to be honest. Everything about this is effortlessly high fashion and she does an amazing yet subtle job selling the sunglasses (the only one who actually achieved that goal). I love how it’s simultaneously a casual pose and yet very, very deliberate. Her legs look awesome and she totally rocks the bizarre hair."
1. Yoanna's F3 beauty shot
"don’t have to fully explain why this is stunning, right? Sweet Jesus, this picture is flawless. Like Shandi’s Coliseum couture photo, sometimes photos just speak for themselves. THAT FACE. I WANT IT. It’s proof that really great models can do a lot with poses that aren’t in any way big or dramatic. The intensity in her eyes is amazing. Seriously, she’s wearing a goddamn helmet and she makes me want to run out and buy that helmet so I can look half as fierce as Yoanna does here. This photo really needs to be a Sephora ad like ASAP. It’s completely editorial and yet it still has commercial appeal. I don’t necessarily think Yoanna was the strongest model throughout the competition, but this photo alone justifies her win."
