Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Ew.
Remember how much Mean Girls rocked? Well my professor spent all of class yesterday talking about how much it sucked and then holding up Heathers as an exemplary teen movie/movie in general. EW.
Dur hurrr. Durrrrrrr....
Let the Right One In subtitles made 'tarded.
Let the Right One In is really fucking awesome, by the way.
Let the Right One In is really fucking awesome, by the way.
Monday, March 30, 2009
ANTM/MMaS, really quick.
You wanna be on top?:
1. Teyona
Teyona proves that the best way to be on this photoshoot was, in fact, rather simple. Clearly, her pose is hardly dynamic, but she completely stands out among the children and whatever the hell Benny Ninja is doing in the background (LOL @ his face). The best part of this photo, however, and the reason why it’s #1, is her spectacular face here. It’s such a good angle on her face, so strong without being draggy, and there’s a real story in those eyes. I do wish she’d been a little more interesting, but seeing as the girls that tried to be interesting this week were mostly terrible…
2. Allison
I love how she manages to make herself and her pose look interesting and editorial (while not losing essential parts of her body, Natalie and Kortnie). Those clothes look amazing on her; while Allison’s face is usually pretty much the same from shoot to shoot, she totally knows how to pose and work with her body maybe the best of all the girls. She easily stands out and her pose could be either a fashion pose, or a pained one, both of which are appropriate for the shoot. Allison still needs to vary her face, even though she looks really beautiful and interesting every week.
3. Aminat
She really looks like a mother (but not old!) or an older sister aiding this gaggle of children, which was perfect for the photoshoot. Her face looks soft but still alert, there’s a beautiful wistfulness in her eyes, and like Teyona, she stands out while having a relatively simple pose. I don’t know why, but she reminds me, here, of images of Mary in many old art paintings, and that’s a REALLY GOOD THING for this shoot. I think it’s the way she’s holding her skirts. My biggest issue is that unlike Teyona, I don’t really see an energy in her pose. She looks incredibly droopy and tired, and not like, fitting in with the theme tired, but just tired tired. But it’s still a quite good picture, especially compared to a lot of others this week…
4. Natalie
Best of the MEH photos. This would have been a lot better if not for two things in the photo, because you can tell that, like Allison, she makes an active effort to be editorial and interesting in her poses every week, which she succeeds at and I give her credit for. First of all, she’s totally missing her leg and foot. I realize she propped those under her skirt, but it honestly just makes her look like she has something totally weird under her skirt. Secondly, and probably more important in the “meh” column, is her FACE. Every time I see it in close-up, I laugh, because I see some girl about to chew out the photographer for taking so long because she has a terrible headache. Or at least, that’s what it says to me, heh. But she looks beautiful, totally stands out, makes an interesting pose that works minus the vanished leg, and in the non-close-up, her face is PERFECTLY pained. But in close-up, not so much. Hah.
5. Tahlia
Like last week, not as good as the judges are saying, not as terrible as the internet would have you think. This would be one of the best photos of the week if it fit the theme at all. It’s a beautiful, strong, and interesting pose, she stands out a whole lot, her face looks absolutely gorgeous and even kinda sultry and sexy… but she looks like some friggin’ Spanish flamenco dancer, and that doesn’t go along with the whole impoverished immigrant thing at all. LOL, the two little black girls in this photo are so clearly America’s Next Top Model for Cycle 27 and 30 (cuz black girls can only win on seasons divisible by 3, SEEEEEEE). They are awesome.
6. London
I think she looks elegant and completely wistful for the life she presumably left behind as an immigrant, which is a great background to give to this photo. She absolutely nails the mood and theme of the photo. Unfortunately, she forgot the modeling part. She looks about five feet tall, her face might be wistful but she looks old and not particularly pretty, and her belly makes her look kind of pregnant and isn’t flattering at all.
7. Sandra
BOOOORING. Teyona and Aminat went for the “not a lot of action” thing, and they absolutely nailed it, in my opinion. I think it’s because they had passion in their faces, whereas Sandra just looks really dead here. I only see tired and old in her face, unfortunately. Sometimes she really works that terrible makeover, but not at all here. She looks like an old lady. She only stands out because she’s tall. I mean, it's not awful... but it's not by any means any good, either.
8. Kortnie
She looks beautiful (when she was standing there in the B2, all I could think was holy shit, she is all kinds of gorgeous, one of the prettiest girls ever on this show), welcoming, and motherly, yet her eyes still have this pain that is perfect for the shoot. So why is she juuuuust barely escaping the B2? One reason: HOLY SHIT, WHAT HAPPENED TO HER BODY HERE?!?!?!?! Seriously, from her shoulders up is all you can see. It’s totally bizarre and disconcerting. But again, the face is really good and her arms are good too… but yeahhhh. She just devolves into a blob after that!
9. Celia
I like her pose, I think it’s edgy (though Allison schools her there and shows the clothes off much better), and her face is fine if not really exciting or in agony or whatever. This is bottom two because OH MY GOD SHE DOES NOT STAND OUT AT ALL! The first time I saw this photo, I honestly thought it was mislabeled. I had to search for quite a few seconds to find her… not good at all. That sassy little girl that does stand out is clearly America’s Next Top Model Cycle 33, after the two girls in Tahlia’s photo.
10. Fo
She's my favorite and I think her photos have been too good to eliminate her at this point, but that doesn’t mean this isn’t the worst picture of the week with a bullet. Like Tahlia, she totally didn’t get the theme of the shoot and she looks like some swooningly-in-love Spanish gypsy or something. She looks incredibly short and squat and totally unmodelesque. But worst of all is her face. I maintain that her makeover did her absolutely no favors, and it’s clear here. Her face is just caught at a terrible angle, it has a weird expression, and it looks like she has sideburns. She looks hideous, when she’s one of the most beautiful girls there. Unfortunate. :(
I want it all (with shorter explanations):
1. CJ - This? Flawless. Probably the best photo I've ever seen in any MMaS in history. It's so beautiful and devastating in a way... and of course she didn't even get a mention for it.
2. Kerryn - It's beautiful and almost achingly vulnerable. The mirror ball was an extra obstacle that she had to get over and she did so marvelously.
3. Branden - I'm not crazy about his face here (it seems very "I'm so hot, check me out!") and I still think he's pedestrian, but I love his energy and almost his wistfulness.
4. Amanda - The emotion in this is beautiful and almost overwhelming. I honestly don't care that she whines about her son when she can turn it out in pictures like this. Oh, and I have no clue how this is "too sexy." Her walk this week, um, yes, DEFINITELY, but not that.
5. Jonathan - It's a little generic and there's something wonky in the eyes of his reflection, but it's frigging Jonathan. Of course what he did was basically perfect. I love how his eyes are so hurt and yet so strong all at once. SO glad he didn't get robbed of immunity THREE WEEKS IN A ROW.
6. Colin - I agree with this photo's critics that say it's not unlike an '80s CD cover or something, but the intensity in his eyes is great. I love the tension in his hands. He's definitely communicating something.
7. Salome - The emotion in this shot is stunning, but she looks absolutely ugly, unfortunately
8. Gabriel - It's very "good-looking person just standing there" but at least he looks good, unlike a lot of these other photos...
9. Shawn - For all the constipated grunting he was doing during his shoot, this was the best he could come up with? It's not offensively bad, but there's nothing there...
10. Laury - Love that body (though it makes her look terribly distorted), HATE that face.
11. Sandhurst - YAWN. Seriously, Sandhurst, step it up.
12. Mountaha - what the fuck is this? She doesn't fit the assignment at all and she looks terrible and ugly.
13. Jordan - I can tell that this bitch is never going to take a photo I like. Her face is DEAD and she looks terrible. In your own lame words Jordan, too bad, so sad.
1. Teyona
Teyona proves that the best way to be on this photoshoot was, in fact, rather simple. Clearly, her pose is hardly dynamic, but she completely stands out among the children and whatever the hell Benny Ninja is doing in the background (LOL @ his face). The best part of this photo, however, and the reason why it’s #1, is her spectacular face here. It’s such a good angle on her face, so strong without being draggy, and there’s a real story in those eyes. I do wish she’d been a little more interesting, but seeing as the girls that tried to be interesting this week were mostly terrible…
2. Allison
I love how she manages to make herself and her pose look interesting and editorial (while not losing essential parts of her body, Natalie and Kortnie). Those clothes look amazing on her; while Allison’s face is usually pretty much the same from shoot to shoot, she totally knows how to pose and work with her body maybe the best of all the girls. She easily stands out and her pose could be either a fashion pose, or a pained one, both of which are appropriate for the shoot. Allison still needs to vary her face, even though she looks really beautiful and interesting every week.
3. Aminat
She really looks like a mother (but not old!) or an older sister aiding this gaggle of children, which was perfect for the photoshoot. Her face looks soft but still alert, there’s a beautiful wistfulness in her eyes, and like Teyona, she stands out while having a relatively simple pose. I don’t know why, but she reminds me, here, of images of Mary in many old art paintings, and that’s a REALLY GOOD THING for this shoot. I think it’s the way she’s holding her skirts. My biggest issue is that unlike Teyona, I don’t really see an energy in her pose. She looks incredibly droopy and tired, and not like, fitting in with the theme tired, but just tired tired. But it’s still a quite good picture, especially compared to a lot of others this week…
4. Natalie
Best of the MEH photos. This would have been a lot better if not for two things in the photo, because you can tell that, like Allison, she makes an active effort to be editorial and interesting in her poses every week, which she succeeds at and I give her credit for. First of all, she’s totally missing her leg and foot. I realize she propped those under her skirt, but it honestly just makes her look like she has something totally weird under her skirt. Secondly, and probably more important in the “meh” column, is her FACE. Every time I see it in close-up, I laugh, because I see some girl about to chew out the photographer for taking so long because she has a terrible headache. Or at least, that’s what it says to me, heh. But she looks beautiful, totally stands out, makes an interesting pose that works minus the vanished leg, and in the non-close-up, her face is PERFECTLY pained. But in close-up, not so much. Hah.
5. Tahlia
Like last week, not as good as the judges are saying, not as terrible as the internet would have you think. This would be one of the best photos of the week if it fit the theme at all. It’s a beautiful, strong, and interesting pose, she stands out a whole lot, her face looks absolutely gorgeous and even kinda sultry and sexy… but she looks like some friggin’ Spanish flamenco dancer, and that doesn’t go along with the whole impoverished immigrant thing at all. LOL, the two little black girls in this photo are so clearly America’s Next Top Model for Cycle 27 and 30 (cuz black girls can only win on seasons divisible by 3, SEEEEEEE). They are awesome.
6. London
I think she looks elegant and completely wistful for the life she presumably left behind as an immigrant, which is a great background to give to this photo. She absolutely nails the mood and theme of the photo. Unfortunately, she forgot the modeling part. She looks about five feet tall, her face might be wistful but she looks old and not particularly pretty, and her belly makes her look kind of pregnant and isn’t flattering at all.
7. Sandra
BOOOORING. Teyona and Aminat went for the “not a lot of action” thing, and they absolutely nailed it, in my opinion. I think it’s because they had passion in their faces, whereas Sandra just looks really dead here. I only see tired and old in her face, unfortunately. Sometimes she really works that terrible makeover, but not at all here. She looks like an old lady. She only stands out because she’s tall. I mean, it's not awful... but it's not by any means any good, either.
8. Kortnie
She looks beautiful (when she was standing there in the B2, all I could think was holy shit, she is all kinds of gorgeous, one of the prettiest girls ever on this show), welcoming, and motherly, yet her eyes still have this pain that is perfect for the shoot. So why is she juuuuust barely escaping the B2? One reason: HOLY SHIT, WHAT HAPPENED TO HER BODY HERE?!?!?!?! Seriously, from her shoulders up is all you can see. It’s totally bizarre and disconcerting. But again, the face is really good and her arms are good too… but yeahhhh. She just devolves into a blob after that!
9. Celia
I like her pose, I think it’s edgy (though Allison schools her there and shows the clothes off much better), and her face is fine if not really exciting or in agony or whatever. This is bottom two because OH MY GOD SHE DOES NOT STAND OUT AT ALL! The first time I saw this photo, I honestly thought it was mislabeled. I had to search for quite a few seconds to find her… not good at all. That sassy little girl that does stand out is clearly America’s Next Top Model Cycle 33, after the two girls in Tahlia’s photo.
10. Fo
She's my favorite and I think her photos have been too good to eliminate her at this point, but that doesn’t mean this isn’t the worst picture of the week with a bullet. Like Tahlia, she totally didn’t get the theme of the shoot and she looks like some swooningly-in-love Spanish gypsy or something. She looks incredibly short and squat and totally unmodelesque. But worst of all is her face. I maintain that her makeover did her absolutely no favors, and it’s clear here. Her face is just caught at a terrible angle, it has a weird expression, and it looks like she has sideburns. She looks hideous, when she’s one of the most beautiful girls there. Unfortunate. :(
I want it all (with shorter explanations):
1. CJ - This? Flawless. Probably the best photo I've ever seen in any MMaS in history. It's so beautiful and devastating in a way... and of course she didn't even get a mention for it.
2. Kerryn - It's beautiful and almost achingly vulnerable. The mirror ball was an extra obstacle that she had to get over and she did so marvelously.
3. Branden - I'm not crazy about his face here (it seems very "I'm so hot, check me out!") and I still think he's pedestrian, but I love his energy and almost his wistfulness.
4. Amanda - The emotion in this is beautiful and almost overwhelming. I honestly don't care that she whines about her son when she can turn it out in pictures like this. Oh, and I have no clue how this is "too sexy." Her walk this week, um, yes, DEFINITELY, but not that.
5. Jonathan - It's a little generic and there's something wonky in the eyes of his reflection, but it's frigging Jonathan. Of course what he did was basically perfect. I love how his eyes are so hurt and yet so strong all at once. SO glad he didn't get robbed of immunity THREE WEEKS IN A ROW.
6. Colin - I agree with this photo's critics that say it's not unlike an '80s CD cover or something, but the intensity in his eyes is great. I love the tension in his hands. He's definitely communicating something.
7. Salome - The emotion in this shot is stunning, but she looks absolutely ugly, unfortunately
8. Gabriel - It's very "good-looking person just standing there" but at least he looks good, unlike a lot of these other photos...
9. Shawn - For all the constipated grunting he was doing during his shoot, this was the best he could come up with? It's not offensively bad, but there's nothing there...
10. Laury - Love that body (though it makes her look terribly distorted), HATE that face.
11. Sandhurst - YAWN. Seriously, Sandhurst, step it up.
12. Mountaha - what the fuck is this? She doesn't fit the assignment at all and she looks terrible and ugly.
13. Jordan - I can tell that this bitch is never going to take a photo I like. Her face is DEAD and she looks terrible. In your own lame words Jordan, too bad, so sad.
I just had to rewatch Mean Girls for a class and...
Holy CRAP. It really is a great movie, not just a super super funny one. It's written really really sharply - I mean, people in my generation are going to be quoting it for years - and it has a message without being treacley (I don't think I spelled that right) or preachy about it. I'd go watch it again, if it wasn't 2:03 AM already and I didn't have a 9 AM class...
Friday, March 27, 2009
I think I'll always love "Two Weeks" for...
the Graduate reference.
I dunno how I feel about Pam leaving yet. I've done a lot of defending Pam this season, but I'm NOT one of her insane super fans that believe every episode should be dedicated to her Development And Growth, so I really don't see why she needs ANOTHER "oh she's leaving so she can ~find herself~" sideplot. Writers, can you give Jim something to do other than moon over Pam, not that I really mind? In many ways, the writers of this show did write themselves into a corner when it comes to Jim and Pam's career choices. They can't stay at Dunder-Mifflin because honestly, that'd be so depressing (if realistic) and they can't leave because then... Jim and Pam are gonna be gone. I mean, I'm already gonna miss "Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam."
I have no doubt that Pam and Michael will be back, though. Maybe not until the finale, maybe not until next season's season premiere, but they'll be back. If, however, Pam comes back as a receptionist... then her leaving will be for nothing, and it'll just be to shake things up. Which I mean, is all well and good, but she already left. I'd love to see her come back doing sales or something else.
I do want Pam to end up doing something in the arts. If she's been discouraged from them forever because of Pratt, I'll be depressed. I don't think her dream is to be a saleswoman either, she just wants something different, and that's fine. She'll realize that soon. I just hope she doesn't come back as the receptionist again, but I don't really want her in sales either. I'm... not sure what I want for her in Dunder-Mifflin, really. Again, I think the writers may have painted themselves into a corner here, but I think they can get themselves out of it. Unlike everyone on the internet, but indeed like the ~8 million people who watch this show every week, I do have faith in them. :)
I do LOOOOVE Pam and Michael together, so I'm excited about that. Hah, she sees his "dangling participle" again next week. Oh, and of course, because this is S5, it's not a clever callback, it's the writers "copying what they did in S4." GIANT EYEROLL. Seriously, quit it with the fucking misery and just stop watching if you hate the show so much now. Come back for S6 or whatever. As I said above, there's ~8 million people who disagree with you, princesses.
I do have one major complaint. Charles Miner? Kindly GTFO. Sucks ALL the funny out of EVERY scene. Idris Elba is certainly a fine actor but comedy is not his forte. I'm gonna throw a party when this guy inevitably gets fired or whatever and is off the show.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
LOL...
Thanks, Canada, for this ad. After all, tonight, we learned that the only difference between America and Canada is that in Canada, they say "eh" (thanks Amanda on MMaS), but apparently they have different Office promos too.
I think this one's really going to be a game-changer :D, but I won't be able to watch it "live" ;_;
Crazy night on both modeling shows...
ANTM: OMG ~DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAA~. Celia, way to prove you're a dumbass.
MMaS: LMAO, that catwalk theme. Oh, and MY BB COLIN. I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU THERE. Can't wait to see him suited up next weekbecause I have a major sailor... errr, I guess you'd say fetish, yeah, and just... OH MY. Like, the male equivalent of a sexy librarian in a sailor uniform? You have no idea what the idea of that does for me. Um, TMI alert!!!!! because it's a good photoshoot theme (nods lamely, please don't pay attention to the text behind the strike *innocent whistling*)
More later/much later.
MMaS: LMAO, that catwalk theme. Oh, and MY BB COLIN. I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU THERE. Can't wait to see him suited up next week
More later/much later.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Friday Night Lights
I had to watch this movie for a class, and it was quite good. I love how it managed to string together a bunch of whiny, borderline bratty kids and make them all sympathetic... not to mention, the characterization was really strong.
The best part, though, was the screen at the very end. :) I love how the entire movie is about them desperately trying to win a championship, they have heartbreaking losses and come just short, and then we find out the year after... they win the championship, undefeated. Nice touch.
The best part, though, was the screen at the very end. :) I love how the entire movie is about them desperately trying to win a championship, they have heartbreaking losses and come just short, and then we find out the year after... they win the championship, undefeated. Nice touch.
Blago on the radio.
A 7-9 AM radio spot is a fucking valuable thing. You don't just give it away for nothing.
(Haha, it looks like he's wearing a dumb helmet.)
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
she's still awesome...
Piece of Analeigh.
Is she stuck doing Subway commercials? Eh, not like that's terrible, I'd be happy for any job in this economy, but Analeigh is so much better than that.
Is she stuck doing Subway commercials? Eh, not like that's terrible, I'd be happy for any job in this economy, but Analeigh is so much better than that.
Monday, March 23, 2009
huh.
So according to one of the actors on The Office, during the season finale we're going to find out the answers to some old questions. Um, does this mean we're finally bustin' open Jim's old Christmas card?
Sunday, March 22, 2009
New BAAAAAAWWWWWWs
GOOD LORD COULD THAT EPISODE HAVE BEEN ANY MORE DEPRESSING? I saw some whiny comment on a message board that was like, "BAWWWWW dear Office writers, when you start to care about your show again, I'll care about it again too, BAWWWWWWWWWWWWW why don't you cater to my every need?!?!?!" and I was like, ho, are you tripping? Oh, I'm sorry every episode doesn't revolve around Jim and Pam, princess. I understand people having issues with the episode, but that's like, the opposite issue of that episode; it cared about Michael too much as opposed to not caring at all. It's not my fault that everyone in the Office-verse, or at least on this one forum I read, cries like a baby whenever Jim and Pam and Serious Discussions About Their Relationship don't take up 95% of the episode.
It's definitely in the lower half of the season, but that's really not saying much because the only episode I flat-out didn't like and have no desire to rewatch is "Employee Transfer." I'd give "New Boss" a B or so, maybe a B+, just because I do need some funny and there were, like, two instances of it in that episode... but anyway. Still better than almost anything else on television. Idris Elba is a good actor, but the last Wire hire on The Office, obviously the wonderful Amy Ryan, added joy and humor to every scene she was in. Elba is like... um... the opposite of that. He's a big ol' vacuum at this point. I hope they make his character more interesting or somewhat humorous or something.
I was proud that they wrote Jim's character as stumbling while NOT TURNING HIM INTO MICHAEL, YAY. I think he was incredibly overwhelmed by how much Charles didn't like him, and how he couldn't charm Charles in any way, and I say: good. There are people who just don't like other people for no reason. It's a part of life, and just because some creepy soccer moms on a message board like to fantasize excessively about John Krasinski (who, don't get me wrong, I adore) and write odes to his package doesn't mean Jim is a perfect guy. It's written well and Krasinski's playing it exactly right.
Along that line, many, many people are bitching about the ARM thing but I saw that as Charles not necessarily being informed about it and then just lashing out at Jim. I've seen continuity errors up the wazoo on this show (Pam's art school for "three months" somehow turned into half a year, Meredith's birthday changed from April to November...), but that wasn't one of them.
Pam talking about cupcakes and strippers and Andy in orange made me laugh probably waaaay more than it should have. Oh, and the cold open. Classy. Hee!
Ugh, I can't believe Michael's going to quit. ;_; I love him. My heart always goes out to him, maybe even more than Jim and Pam.
In conclusion, internet, stop BAAWWWWWWWing. I always think the purpose of forums is to bring together people who love a certain thing (or at least, have a certain interest), but lately, there seems to be a real lack of love for The Office and I can't really read anywhere. The ratings for the show haven't dropped like what happened when Heroes turned from amazing to actually shittacular (as opposed to the way people whine about The Office, while the show's still really good), so what does that say about how most people perceive the show? Hmm. Think about it. Yeah, I know ratings aren't the be-all-end-all, look at Two and a Half Men, but The Office is kind of cult and if people didn't like it, they'd stop watching it.
It's definitely in the lower half of the season, but that's really not saying much because the only episode I flat-out didn't like and have no desire to rewatch is "Employee Transfer." I'd give "New Boss" a B or so, maybe a B+, just because I do need some funny and there were, like, two instances of it in that episode... but anyway. Still better than almost anything else on television. Idris Elba is a good actor, but the last Wire hire on The Office, obviously the wonderful Amy Ryan, added joy and humor to every scene she was in. Elba is like... um... the opposite of that. He's a big ol' vacuum at this point. I hope they make his character more interesting or somewhat humorous or something.
I was proud that they wrote Jim's character as stumbling while NOT TURNING HIM INTO MICHAEL, YAY. I think he was incredibly overwhelmed by how much Charles didn't like him, and how he couldn't charm Charles in any way, and I say: good. There are people who just don't like other people for no reason. It's a part of life, and just because some creepy soccer moms on a message board like to fantasize excessively about John Krasinski (who, don't get me wrong, I adore) and write odes to his package doesn't mean Jim is a perfect guy. It's written well and Krasinski's playing it exactly right.
Along that line, many, many people are bitching about the ARM thing but I saw that as Charles not necessarily being informed about it and then just lashing out at Jim. I've seen continuity errors up the wazoo on this show (Pam's art school for "three months" somehow turned into half a year, Meredith's birthday changed from April to November...), but that wasn't one of them.
Pam talking about cupcakes and strippers and Andy in orange made me laugh probably waaaay more than it should have. Oh, and the cold open. Classy. Hee!
Ugh, I can't believe Michael's going to quit. ;_; I love him. My heart always goes out to him, maybe even more than Jim and Pam.
In conclusion, internet, stop BAAWWWWWWWing. I always think the purpose of forums is to bring together people who love a certain thing (or at least, have a certain interest), but lately, there seems to be a real lack of love for The Office and I can't really read anywhere. The ratings for the show haven't dropped like what happened when Heroes turned from amazing to actually shittacular (as opposed to the way people whine about The Office, while the show's still really good), so what does that say about how most people perceive the show? Hmm. Think about it. Yeah, I know ratings aren't the be-all-end-all, look at Two and a Half Men, but The Office is kind of cult and if people didn't like it, they'd stop watching it.
MMaS... and not a minute too late!
Amanda: Beautiful. Can't believe she's a mom, her body is way too insane for that.
Branden: Grows on me by the episode. I still don't get this whole "OMG HE DESERVES TO WIN, HE IS SUCH A MODEL." Not really. He has a scrunched-up face and a terrible walk and he's too tall. He doesn't look "fresh" either.
CJ: Yeah, I definitely feel sorry for her now. Okay, she's negative, she's not running around tearing everyone else down. She's not really a bitch, just a really negative person. Honestly, at this point I'm hoping she makes F4 or whatever over that passive-aggressive bitch Jordan, and a bunch of these other hos. I mean, really, when Colin is all snarky about you ("she's a wet noodle in a harness!") things have gone too far. She's beautiful and she takes good pictures, and she had the right attitude the first week. She just needs to get it back.
Colin: Gets more perfect by the week. LOVE. Don't let Kerryn seduce you if you don't want it, bb.
Gabriel: UGH, SO GORGEOUS. It's nice to know that, due to people screencapping the seasonwide previews they keep showing, he doesn't screw up badly enough next week to be kicked out, as he lasts until the military shoot at least. Beautiful but like CJ, his attitude is all wrong. Fortunately, I won't mind looking at him for as long as he sticks around, though I don't think it'll be for much longer...
Jonathan: Ummmmmm, robbed of the win two weeks in a row, WTF.
Jordan: Bitch. Obnoxious stealth bitch. Not half as hot as she thinks she is and she actually needs to gain weight so her hips don't look enormous. She's not the best and definitely not the most interesting girl there. I do like her "I'll-smile-while-I-shiv-you" relationship with Sandhurst.
Karen: I feel terribly for her, especially when she started crying after they told Gabriel he was safe, but yeah, she wasn't a model. She looked permanently caught in the headlights
Kerryn: Minus her borderline sexual harassment of Colin, I really like the glimpses of her personality that we do see. She seems sweet and she's battling her insecurities in a positive way. Don't think she deserved the win, though, but her walk was all kinds of hot, even if she does need to tone up (eh, all the girls do).
Laury: Meh. Her face is so much worse than Karen's. At least Karen was pretty, even if she had "crazy eyes" syndrome. Laury is just straight-up hideous.
Mountaha: I think she's going to go quite far but so far she hasn't made much of an impression. Her face is looking better when caught by film, so at least that's an improvement...
Salome: Yeah, she screwed up pretty hardcore this week. Her photo and her runway blew and honestly, if I was basing it on just this week alone, she'd be going home. But she's got so much more potential than all the other girls and she has done terrific in the past, and I know she'll do terrific again in the future.
Sandhurst: Supermodel and a superstar. He's too good for this competition and I fear they'll boot him the first week he does merely "good" as opposed to outstanding. That said, his photo this week IS a little overrated... but it might just be the weird proportions in the photo.
Shawn: He's such a sweetie, but I don't think he's going to last much longer.
Group photos in the order I'd call them out (LOL, terrible photoshoot):
1. Colin & Branden, NO CONTEST
2. Laury, Amanda, & Kerryn
3. CJ, Jonathan, & Gabriel
4. Sandhurst, Jordan, & Karen *
5. Salome, Shawn, & Mountaha
And as individuals:
ACTUALLY GOOD
1. Colin (MY BB I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT)
2. Branden (a close second)
3. Jonathan (a little cartoonish but overall really good)
PRETTY GOOD
4. Kerryn (on second glance, very cute)
5. Amanda (the face is a little overboard but in a week when so many screwed up so bad...)
6. Laury (it's a saaaaad week when this is #6, but it is)
7. Sandhurst (it looks so weird, but it is graceful and shows a sense of athleticism)
EH, OK to PRETTY DARN BAD
8. Shawn (with a lot more in the face, this could have been one of the best of the week)
9. Mountaha (see above... but I'm not sure if she can handle more in the face)
10. Karen (see above... again...)
COMICALLY BAD
11. Gabriel (unintentionally funny much?!)
12. Jordan (God, could this BE more boring? I wonder if she'll ever take a photo I like)
13. CJ (OH LORD. I blame this on the photographer but this is not flattering in any way, she looks like a dwarf)
14. Salome (um... at least CJ's face wasn't at a weird angle)
Next week better be a better photoshoot than this crap, you hear me?
* This one is hilariously out-of-proportion, Sandhurst looks like twice as tall as the girls do.
Branden: Grows on me by the episode. I still don't get this whole "OMG HE DESERVES TO WIN, HE IS SUCH A MODEL." Not really. He has a scrunched-up face and a terrible walk and he's too tall. He doesn't look "fresh" either.
CJ: Yeah, I definitely feel sorry for her now. Okay, she's negative, she's not running around tearing everyone else down. She's not really a bitch, just a really negative person. Honestly, at this point I'm hoping she makes F4 or whatever over that passive-aggressive bitch Jordan, and a bunch of these other hos. I mean, really, when Colin is all snarky about you ("she's a wet noodle in a harness!") things have gone too far. She's beautiful and she takes good pictures, and she had the right attitude the first week. She just needs to get it back.
Colin: Gets more perfect by the week. LOVE. Don't let Kerryn seduce you if you don't want it, bb.
Gabriel: UGH, SO GORGEOUS. It's nice to know that, due to people screencapping the seasonwide previews they keep showing, he doesn't screw up badly enough next week to be kicked out, as he lasts until the military shoot at least. Beautiful but like CJ, his attitude is all wrong. Fortunately, I won't mind looking at him for as long as he sticks around, though I don't think it'll be for much longer...
Jonathan: Ummmmmm, robbed of the win two weeks in a row, WTF.
Jordan: Bitch. Obnoxious stealth bitch. Not half as hot as she thinks she is and she actually needs to gain weight so her hips don't look enormous. She's not the best and definitely not the most interesting girl there. I do like her "I'll-smile-while-I-shiv-you" relationship with Sandhurst.
Karen: I feel terribly for her, especially when she started crying after they told Gabriel he was safe, but yeah, she wasn't a model. She looked permanently caught in the headlights
Kerryn: Minus her borderline sexual harassment of Colin, I really like the glimpses of her personality that we do see. She seems sweet and she's battling her insecurities in a positive way. Don't think she deserved the win, though, but her walk was all kinds of hot, even if she does need to tone up (eh, all the girls do).
Laury: Meh. Her face is so much worse than Karen's. At least Karen was pretty, even if she had "crazy eyes" syndrome. Laury is just straight-up hideous.
Mountaha: I think she's going to go quite far but so far she hasn't made much of an impression. Her face is looking better when caught by film, so at least that's an improvement...
Salome: Yeah, she screwed up pretty hardcore this week. Her photo and her runway blew and honestly, if I was basing it on just this week alone, she'd be going home. But she's got so much more potential than all the other girls and she has done terrific in the past, and I know she'll do terrific again in the future.
Sandhurst: Supermodel and a superstar. He's too good for this competition and I fear they'll boot him the first week he does merely "good" as opposed to outstanding. That said, his photo this week IS a little overrated... but it might just be the weird proportions in the photo.
Shawn: He's such a sweetie, but I don't think he's going to last much longer.
Group photos in the order I'd call them out (LOL, terrible photoshoot):
1. Colin & Branden, NO CONTEST
2. Laury, Amanda, & Kerryn
3. CJ, Jonathan, & Gabriel
4. Sandhurst, Jordan, & Karen *
5. Salome, Shawn, & Mountaha
And as individuals:
ACTUALLY GOOD
1. Colin (MY BB I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT)
2. Branden (a close second)
3. Jonathan (a little cartoonish but overall really good)
PRETTY GOOD
4. Kerryn (on second glance, very cute)
5. Amanda (the face is a little overboard but in a week when so many screwed up so bad...)
6. Laury (it's a saaaaad week when this is #6, but it is)
7. Sandhurst (it looks so weird, but it is graceful and shows a sense of athleticism)
EH, OK to PRETTY DARN BAD
8. Shawn (with a lot more in the face, this could have been one of the best of the week)
9. Mountaha (see above... but I'm not sure if she can handle more in the face)
10. Karen (see above... again...)
COMICALLY BAD
11. Gabriel (unintentionally funny much?!)
12. Jordan (God, could this BE more boring? I wonder if she'll ever take a photo I like)
13. CJ (OH LORD. I blame this on the photographer but this is not flattering in any way, she looks like a dwarf)
14. Salome (um... at least CJ's face wasn't at a weird angle)
Next week better be a better photoshoot than this crap, you hear me?
* This one is hilariously out-of-proportion, Sandhurst looks like twice as tall as the girls do.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
America's Next Top Model Episode 3
Group photos, in the order I would have called them out and for reference here:
1. Sandra & Celia
2. Allison & London
3. Fo & Aminat
4. Tahlia, Natalie, Teyona
5. Nijah & Kortnie
And my individual call-outs:
1. Fo
I really like this Fo-to ;). My only issue with it is that she looks short, but then again almost all the girls looked short in this photoshoot because they got cut off at the knees. I mean, Fo totally embodies her character, but in addition she comes off as extremely modelesque and beautiful. This is especially impressive when you consider how many props this girl is juggling in the photo! She totally outshines Aminat. It’s not GREAT great but eh, none of these photos were.
2. Sandra
This is probably a better photo than Fo’s but when you consider the quality of the photo plus the idea they were trying to get across, Fo comes out on top. Sandra’s is still a spectacular photo and, combined with Celia and the background here, it’s actually kind of editorial. Weird. There isn’t a hint of “nanny” here but she looks so spectacularly beautiful and her pose is so modelesque and incredibly regal. Finally, we’re seeing some of the promise she had in her promo photo. I like how the photo tells a story. Albeit, not a story of a nanny, haha.
3. London
This photo is very underrated, I think. London is really a chameleon, in that she looks different in every photo, which is in itself completely different from the way she looks in real life, and she almost always looks really good, with last week and her promo shot being exceptions. She looks really modelesque at what could be kind of a weird angle on her face, and she perfectly nails the “frenemies” idea that Allison and London said they were going for at panel. I love the way she “owns” the bags in the photo. Like Fo she has a lot of props, but also like Fo she uses them to add to the character and isn’t controlled by her props.
4. Natalie
This picture as a whole sucks, but she definitely stands out the most and is the best in it. I know the judges accused her of looking fake, but I don’t see that. I see her trying to be modelesque when she was given an assignment that was inherently non-modelesque, consisting of goggling up at the sky with her mouth open. Lames… But anyway, Natalie looks pretty, stands out, and shows off the clothes very well, and I think she expresses real joy without looking retarded.
5. Celia
Like I said when I discussed Sandra’s photo, the photo overall is beautiful, haunting, and even somewhat editorial. Celia’s pose is very interesting without being weird, and her face looks absolutely gorgeous. Gorgeous! Celia! She’s only this low because Sandra outshines her in every single way in this shot. LOL @ her being “cropped out” when they display this photo in the apartment next week, poor Celia. :( I think the photo needs both of them to be so good, so I’m interested to see what this photo looks like without Celia in it…
6. Aminat
Yeah, it’s her best picture so far, but that’s really not saying much. I love Aminat, but she’s really letting me down when it comes to her photos. I like how she holds her body and the energy in her pose, but it’s not a really great photo. Everything in it conspires to make her look short, but it’s really her face that brings her down. It’s just so squished and weird-looking. It’s something about her lips and the squinted eyes combined. I mean, it’s not terrible. It’s just blah.
7. Nijah
Not really any good, but not at all boot-worthy either, really. Okay, she’s just standing there and there isn’t very much creativity, but other than that it’s a pretty good photo. She holds her prop in a prominent place, she shows off her clothes well, and she looks gorgeous even with the heavy makeup and the kind of strange angle on her face. Her eyes are piercing, and not in a horrible way unlike the thing that’s next to her in this photo. I think she’s connecting with the viewer, and for that alone she didn’t deserve to be in the B2, let alone get eliminated. But she needed more energy and innovation.
8. Allison
Well, it’s not bad; the bottom two are kind of in a class of badness all by their own. But it’s certainly not very good, and a major step down from her other two photos. There’s so much to work with here, and she just kind of defaults into blank googly-eyed girl mode. Her face doesn’t look that good (the stupid hat doesn’t help) and her mouth is all snarly. It almost looks like she’s rolling her eyes as well. She is showing off the clothes beautifully, though, and let’s face it, she’s a model just standing there.
9. Tahlia
It’s certainly not as good as the judges said and it’s certainly not as bad as the internet seems to think. Yeah, you don’t like Tahlia, she killed your dog and your entire family, we know already, get over it. I like her enthusiasm here and I think she’s standing out, and she’s really darn cute. The emotion on her face is genuine. Unfortunately, it seems kind of low energy and her face is caught at a terrible angle where she looks all squinty-eyed (though still happy). She looks plus-size. I don’t think Tahlia’s much of a model, but everyone seriously needs to calm the fuck down about her.
10. Teyona
Sorry, Teyona, this photo isn’t very good at all. You don’t stand out whatsoever, and, I mean, you’re being outshone by Tahlia. The worst part about this photo, though, is her face (which is the only thing we can see, because Natalie’s right in front of her). Oh my GOD, that is the worst angle EVARRRRR. It’s seriously almost frightening how bad she looks. Her eyes have totally disappeared, it looks like she’s bald, and nobody should have to look into that maw of a mouth. Her pose and face comes off as cheesy and fake. Sorry, Teyona. You usually rock. Do better next week… but I’m sure you will.
11. Kortnie
I hate this photo and I don’t know why the judges seemed to like it. She’s not showing any kind of personality, and nothing to me indicates that she would be an artist or a muse or anything. She’s got all the energy, creativity, and enthusiasm that Nijah did, which is to say like none at all. Worse, though, it’s just overall a really really really terrible photo. The best thing I can say is that she looks kinda like Katarzyna, and Katarzyna was really pretty, but this would be Katarzyna caught in a really, really, really ugly moment. She looks like some kind of heaving monster, and she’s cross-eyed. God, her eyes and mouth are SO BAD HERE. Her pose is so boring and she’s almost HIDING the prop that shows she’s an artist. Terrible. Sorry Kortnie, I liked you and was rooting for you before this, but now… just turn it out next week, okay? Oh, one good thing I will say, she does not look plus-size AT. ALL.
Call-out averages:
Allison 6/2/8 = 5.33
Aminat 10/11/6 = 9
Celia 8/4/5 = 5.67
Fo 2/5/1 = 2.67
Isabella 13 = 13
Jessica 11/10 = 10.5
Kortnie 7/7/11 = 8.33
London 1/9/3 = 4.33
Natalie 5/3/4 = 4
Nijah 4/8/7 = 6.33
Sandra 12/6/2 = 6.67
Tahlia 9/12/9 = 10
Teyona 3/1/10 = 4.67
Yay Fo, and it's weird that Natalie has the second-highest callout average. I think she's... like... meh. Okay, not great.
Make Me a Supermodel probably tomorrow.
1. Sandra & Celia
2. Allison & London
3. Fo & Aminat
4. Tahlia, Natalie, Teyona
5. Nijah & Kortnie
And my individual call-outs:
1. Fo
I really like this Fo-to ;). My only issue with it is that she looks short, but then again almost all the girls looked short in this photoshoot because they got cut off at the knees. I mean, Fo totally embodies her character, but in addition she comes off as extremely modelesque and beautiful. This is especially impressive when you consider how many props this girl is juggling in the photo! She totally outshines Aminat. It’s not GREAT great but eh, none of these photos were.
2. Sandra
This is probably a better photo than Fo’s but when you consider the quality of the photo plus the idea they were trying to get across, Fo comes out on top. Sandra’s is still a spectacular photo and, combined with Celia and the background here, it’s actually kind of editorial. Weird. There isn’t a hint of “nanny” here but she looks so spectacularly beautiful and her pose is so modelesque and incredibly regal. Finally, we’re seeing some of the promise she had in her promo photo. I like how the photo tells a story. Albeit, not a story of a nanny, haha.
3. London
This photo is very underrated, I think. London is really a chameleon, in that she looks different in every photo, which is in itself completely different from the way she looks in real life, and she almost always looks really good, with last week and her promo shot being exceptions. She looks really modelesque at what could be kind of a weird angle on her face, and she perfectly nails the “frenemies” idea that Allison and London said they were going for at panel. I love the way she “owns” the bags in the photo. Like Fo she has a lot of props, but also like Fo she uses them to add to the character and isn’t controlled by her props.
4. Natalie
This picture as a whole sucks, but she definitely stands out the most and is the best in it. I know the judges accused her of looking fake, but I don’t see that. I see her trying to be modelesque when she was given an assignment that was inherently non-modelesque, consisting of goggling up at the sky with her mouth open. Lames… But anyway, Natalie looks pretty, stands out, and shows off the clothes very well, and I think she expresses real joy without looking retarded.
5. Celia
Like I said when I discussed Sandra’s photo, the photo overall is beautiful, haunting, and even somewhat editorial. Celia’s pose is very interesting without being weird, and her face looks absolutely gorgeous. Gorgeous! Celia! She’s only this low because Sandra outshines her in every single way in this shot. LOL @ her being “cropped out” when they display this photo in the apartment next week, poor Celia. :( I think the photo needs both of them to be so good, so I’m interested to see what this photo looks like without Celia in it…
6. Aminat
Yeah, it’s her best picture so far, but that’s really not saying much. I love Aminat, but she’s really letting me down when it comes to her photos. I like how she holds her body and the energy in her pose, but it’s not a really great photo. Everything in it conspires to make her look short, but it’s really her face that brings her down. It’s just so squished and weird-looking. It’s something about her lips and the squinted eyes combined. I mean, it’s not terrible. It’s just blah.
7. Nijah
Not really any good, but not at all boot-worthy either, really. Okay, she’s just standing there and there isn’t very much creativity, but other than that it’s a pretty good photo. She holds her prop in a prominent place, she shows off her clothes well, and she looks gorgeous even with the heavy makeup and the kind of strange angle on her face. Her eyes are piercing, and not in a horrible way unlike the thing that’s next to her in this photo. I think she’s connecting with the viewer, and for that alone she didn’t deserve to be in the B2, let alone get eliminated. But she needed more energy and innovation.
8. Allison
Well, it’s not bad; the bottom two are kind of in a class of badness all by their own. But it’s certainly not very good, and a major step down from her other two photos. There’s so much to work with here, and she just kind of defaults into blank googly-eyed girl mode. Her face doesn’t look that good (the stupid hat doesn’t help) and her mouth is all snarly. It almost looks like she’s rolling her eyes as well. She is showing off the clothes beautifully, though, and let’s face it, she’s a model just standing there.
9. Tahlia
It’s certainly not as good as the judges said and it’s certainly not as bad as the internet seems to think. Yeah, you don’t like Tahlia, she killed your dog and your entire family, we know already, get over it. I like her enthusiasm here and I think she’s standing out, and she’s really darn cute. The emotion on her face is genuine. Unfortunately, it seems kind of low energy and her face is caught at a terrible angle where she looks all squinty-eyed (though still happy). She looks plus-size. I don’t think Tahlia’s much of a model, but everyone seriously needs to calm the fuck down about her.
10. Teyona
Sorry, Teyona, this photo isn’t very good at all. You don’t stand out whatsoever, and, I mean, you’re being outshone by Tahlia. The worst part about this photo, though, is her face (which is the only thing we can see, because Natalie’s right in front of her). Oh my GOD, that is the worst angle EVARRRRR. It’s seriously almost frightening how bad she looks. Her eyes have totally disappeared, it looks like she’s bald, and nobody should have to look into that maw of a mouth. Her pose and face comes off as cheesy and fake. Sorry, Teyona. You usually rock. Do better next week… but I’m sure you will.
11. Kortnie
I hate this photo and I don’t know why the judges seemed to like it. She’s not showing any kind of personality, and nothing to me indicates that she would be an artist or a muse or anything. She’s got all the energy, creativity, and enthusiasm that Nijah did, which is to say like none at all. Worse, though, it’s just overall a really really really terrible photo. The best thing I can say is that she looks kinda like Katarzyna, and Katarzyna was really pretty, but this would be Katarzyna caught in a really, really, really ugly moment. She looks like some kind of heaving monster, and she’s cross-eyed. God, her eyes and mouth are SO BAD HERE. Her pose is so boring and she’s almost HIDING the prop that shows she’s an artist. Terrible. Sorry Kortnie, I liked you and was rooting for you before this, but now… just turn it out next week, okay? Oh, one good thing I will say, she does not look plus-size AT. ALL.
Call-out averages:
Allison 6/2/8 = 5.33
Aminat 10/11/6 = 9
Celia 8/4/5 = 5.67
Fo 2/5/1 = 2.67
Isabella 13 = 13
Jessica 11/10 = 10.5
Kortnie 7/7/11 = 8.33
London 1/9/3 = 4.33
Natalie 5/3/4 = 4
Nijah 4/8/7 = 6.33
Sandra 12/6/2 = 6.67
Tahlia 9/12/9 = 10
Teyona 3/1/10 = 4.67
Yay Fo, and it's weird that Natalie has the second-highest callout average. I think she's... like... meh. Okay, not great.
Make Me a Supermodel probably tomorrow.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Yeah, I felt way worse for Sarah Marshall than that guy. Neither was a good person and they both did really bad things to/for the other, but you know what? In the end, she got called "the goddamn devil" while she was sucking that guy off. Just saying.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Here's what I have to say to everyone about The Office lately.
Comic Book Guy: Last night's Itchy & Scratchy was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured I was on the Internet within minutes registering my disgust throughout the world.
Bart: Hey, I know it wasn’t great, but what right do you have to complain?
Comic Book Guy: As a loyal viewer, I feel they owe me.
Bart: What? They’re giving you thousands of hours of entertainment for free. What could they possibly owe you? If anything, you owe them.
Comic Book Guy: [hesitantly] ...Worst episode ever.
The thing is, the internet is full of Comic Book Guys who don't even realize they're Comic Book Guys, who took "worst. episode. ever" from this and use it all the time but are too dumb to realize that it was making fun of them. I don't really like The Simpsons but this is just genius.
Bart: Hey, I know it wasn’t great, but what right do you have to complain?
Comic Book Guy: As a loyal viewer, I feel they owe me.
Bart: What? They’re giving you thousands of hours of entertainment for free. What could they possibly owe you? If anything, you owe them.
Comic Book Guy: [hesitantly] ...Worst episode ever.
The thing is, the internet is full of Comic Book Guys who don't even realize they're Comic Book Guys, who took "worst. episode. ever" from this and use it all the time but are too dumb to realize that it was making fun of them. I don't really like The Simpsons but this is just genius.
Oh, OBAMA.
The "Special Olympics" comment? REALLY? I'll let it slide this one time with a stern warning because I love you, but SERIOUSLY? It'd be okay if you were a comedian but you're the President. Still, it's gonna be hilarious to watch the Republicans AKA "OMG I don't get why the darkies just don't lighten up when we say they all suck in some horrible stereotypical manner" try and take this on.
Oh, and guess who missed The Office tonight because my friend's roommate's friend is an asshole.
Overall I am in a mood of crankiness. Grrrrrr. Silly modeling show updates later.
Oh, and guess who missed The Office tonight because my friend's roommate's friend is an asshole.
Overall I am in a mood of crankiness. Grrrrrr. Silly modeling show updates later.
Wow, THAT'S inappropriate.
Kerryn grabbing Colin's junk.
I say this not because it's dear Colin, but because, well, look at this situation. Colin is a 21-year-old virgin and uncomfortable with girls. Fine. I don't see what exactly makes being a 21-year-old virgin soooo very terrible (it was kind of insulting when Sandhurst compared Colin's life to The 40-Year-Old Virgin), but whatever. So, Kerryn's playing around with Colin, and he's incredibly visibly uncomfortable. Kerryn's response to his lack of comfort with her physically (she even recognizes that she "scares the hell out of" him) is to grab his crotch.
Uhhh. Well, imagine if the genders were reversed. Imagine if, I dunno, Jordan was a virgin and uncomfortable around guys and Gabe decided he'd make her into his own "pet project" and was constantly grabbing at her, trying to kiss her neck, etc. It wouldn't be cute. If Kerryn said her constant borderline-sexual-harassment of Colin was to psych out the competition, that'd be EVIL, but it'd make more sense than "oh I'm just trying to make him comfortable around girls!"
Oh man, is Colin ever pretty, though.
As for Make Me a Supermodel (and America's Next Top Model, of course), more on that later.
I say this not because it's dear Colin, but because, well, look at this situation. Colin is a 21-year-old virgin and uncomfortable with girls. Fine. I don't see what exactly makes being a 21-year-old virgin soooo very terrible (it was kind of insulting when Sandhurst compared Colin's life to The 40-Year-Old Virgin), but whatever. So, Kerryn's playing around with Colin, and he's incredibly visibly uncomfortable. Kerryn's response to his lack of comfort with her physically (she even recognizes that she "scares the hell out of" him) is to grab his crotch.
Uhhh. Well, imagine if the genders were reversed. Imagine if, I dunno, Jordan was a virgin and uncomfortable around guys and Gabe decided he'd make her into his own "pet project" and was constantly grabbing at her, trying to kiss her neck, etc. It wouldn't be cute. If Kerryn said her constant borderline-sexual-harassment of Colin was to psych out the competition, that'd be EVIL, but it'd make more sense than "oh I'm just trying to make him comfortable around girls!"
Oh man, is Colin ever pretty, though.
As for Make Me a Supermodel (and America's Next Top Model, of course), more on that later.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
LOL
Kenley, that bitch I despise from the fifth season of Project Runway (dear Bravo and whoever, PLEASE WORK SOMETHING OUT SO THAT THE SHOW COMES BACK ASAP k thanks), is engaged to a guy named Zek Penley.
HAHAHAHA HER NAME IS GONNA BE KENLEY PENLEY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA
HAHAHAHA HER NAME IS GONNA BE KENLEY PENLEY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Seriously,
Shut up Sarah Palin.
Oh, and you can't like Thin Mints. I LIKE THIN MINTS OK? I CALLED THEM FIRST SO THERE. People, I know you like covering Democrats and Republicans equally and the Obamas are understandably wildly popular, but can you please stop covering it whenever Palin takes a shit? Go talk about Bobby Jindal or something. He's so cute! Indians are trendy now! Woohoo! JAI HOOOOO!!!!
Oh, and you can't like Thin Mints. I LIKE THIN MINTS OK? I CALLED THEM FIRST SO THERE. People, I know you like covering Democrats and Republicans equally and the Obamas are understandably wildly popular, but can you please stop covering it whenever Palin takes a shit? Go talk about Bobby Jindal or something. He's so cute! Indians are trendy now! Woohoo! JAI HOOOOO!!!!
My new avatar is awesome.
Holy shit, Allison is amazing. Seriously, look at her in the background of every photo she was in this week, not to mention the one where she was the lead girl. I LOVE YOU CREEPYCHAN.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
I love Minority Report.
Hate me if you will, kittens - it's Spielberg! the ending is ludicrously saccharine (actually, no argument from me there)! it's not like the book! it has plot holes! - but I'm sorry, it just kicks ass.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Oh holy crap.
I'm sure you've seen this everywhere, but here's Jon Stewart OWNING Jim Cramer.
It's uncensored and unedited.
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
It's uncensored and unedited.
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Every episode of House in a nutshell
Patient: (comes in with some weird-ass disease)
House: Oh, this is (diagnosis)
Other doctors: What? No, it can't be. House, you're so crazy.
(They do a lot of tests. House is right.)
House: Ha ha. This proves my cynicism because of something very significant.
... I hate this show. I'd hate it way less if they just owned up to the fact that it's a procedural.
House: Oh, this is (diagnosis)
Other doctors: What? No, it can't be. House, you're so crazy.
(They do a lot of tests. House is right.)
House: Ha ha. This proves my cynicism because of something very significant.
... I hate this show. I'd hate it way less if they just owned up to the fact that it's a procedural.
Halpert stare.
Because I've been doing a TERRIBLE job talking about The Office lately. Needless to say, they've been very good, very funny episodes, but they seem a little filler-y (well, tonight's probably wasn't filler-y for Michael, but there are a few episodes this season that seem to be furthering his "not in the best position with Corporate" plot). Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Uh, can Jim and Pam get married already? Please? I love them but really. At least people seem to have shut up about what a "bitch" Pam is.
ANTM & MMaS Week 2.
ANTM:
1. Teyona
At first I didn’t like this photo that much because I was like “wow, her pose is lazy,” but no, it actually rocks and I think I was momentarily on crack. It’s model lazy, if that makes any sense. Like, at once it’s extremely casual and it shows a large amount of effort. She shows off the clothes well, her legs are awesome, she looks seventy feet tall, and her face is just beautiful. She totally stands out. Fantastic.
2. Allison
The more I look at this picture, the more I like it. She’s holding the light so perfectly – I bet her photography experience truly helped her there – and she looks spectacular with that makeup and her giant weave (eh, just wait until it turns into a Jenah-esque horror show). She really does look like a rock star, when normally she looks like some little mouse. The pose is really creative and interesting. My only issues with this photo is that said pose makes her look short, and her head looks pasted on. But still, awesome.
3. Natalie
Love her pose and the way she stands out. The way she’s hoisting the light over her head is really creative and she manages to make it look really good, as opposed to weird like London. I like – and this is probably unintentional but it rocks – how the light over her head points to her other arm, which is holding the other light. So cool. She shows the clothes off so well, and for some reason I absolutely love the one foot that’s on the ground. She’s only not higher because I think Allison and Teyona were more creative, and she looks stoned in the eyes.
4. Celia
Her face is God-awful here, and every time I look at it it gets worse (and it’s the reason she’s not #1), but that’s the only bad thing about this truly awesome photo. She stands out probably the most of any girl, and her pose is creative and just flat-out awesome. She looks 500 feet tall and that body and hairdo just screams supermodel here. But again, the FACE. She needs to work on that… but she’s not going anywhere any time soon so she’s got plenty of time ;)
5. Fo
I understand why she was in the bottom two and I’m not so sure I love that makeover either (I don’t think cutting hair = EDGY!!!! because Fo’s hair is kind of helmet-looking now), but it’s a really good picture, and in the pile of crap that was this week, she should have been more lauded for that. She looks racially ambiguous (in a good way) and super edgy, and her pose completely draws attention despite the fact that she’s weirdly lying down. I love how it’s casual but sexy. The light on her face is simply awesome.
6. Sandra
Major improvement from last week. Her makeover looks completely stupid and ridiculous, but you can almost ignore that here because she’s kind of rocking it. She stands out despite being backgrounded, and I love how she holds up that one light to shine on her face. The pose is nice and strong. Unfortunately, one of the lights gets very lost against her jacket and her eyes are very blank. But seeing as some photos this week REALLY sucked, this one ain’t so bad.
7. Kortnie
I don’t get this sudden KORTNIE SUCKS GET HER OUT attitude that seems to be permeating through the internet. Oh, wait, she’s a plus-size and she looks not unlike Whitney in this photo, which is probably why everyone hates her randomly now. Anyway, this photo is the end of the good ones this week, and it’s only okay. The pose/her body is what really lets her down, because it’s kind of boring and she doesn’t look like she has much of an idea what to do with the glow sticks. But she looks beautiful and shows the clothes off very well.
8. Nijah
Here’s where the photos start to get a real sense of suckiness and they just get worse and worse from here out. Big step down from Kortnie to here. I think this would have been one of the best photos of the week if she had a lot more energy, but as is, she just looks very “meh I don’t care.” I think Tyra’s constant “SMILE WITH UR EYES GURLFRIEND” thing is ridiculous, of course, but damn I get what she means here, because there’s not a hint of life in those eyes. I feel like the light beam things are super awkward in this photo and she has no idea what to do with them. Her pose makes her look very short. At least she looks pretty, unlike the girls lower than her on this list. Oh and Allison is so damn fierce in this photo.
9. London
This photo seems beloved. I HATE IT. Yeah, she stands out, because she’s TOTALLY foregrounded while the other girls are TOTALLY backgrounded. They did this to an extent with some other girls, but it wasn’t so pronounced. First, the good: the top arm is great (though super shortened), she is absolutely working her makeover, and she really does look like some amazing acid rocker from the 1980s. But the pose seems totally weird, her bottom arm is completely dead and worse, her face looks basically out of it and yeah, kind of retarded.
10. Jessica
Why oh why oh why does she look like such a dude?! She is really really beautiful in real life, but in every photo she takes, she looks absolutely awful. This one is straight-up masculine, way worse than anything Jaslene ever did. She seriously looks like she’s sucking on a really sour lemon while she is possessed by demons. In other words, the face is bad bad bad. Her body looks short and completely unmodelesque. The lights are held in just some random place without any thought to lighting herself. But damn, look at how hard Allison and Nijah are rocking this one. LOVE. But none for Jessica.
11. Aminat
Oh, Aminat. Don’t make me jump off your train of love. This photo is absolutely terrible. You’re only not eliminated by me because I think your pose, even if it is the “pose all the girls strike in the ghetto” is pretty darn fierce. First of all, Kortnie, Celia, and maybe even Sandra stand out far more than Aminat does. Part of it is the way they’re placed in the photo, but part of it is because their photos are flat-out stronger. What really sets Aminat down so far is her head and face. Her hair just completely drags her down (psht, and they called her awesome fro “limiting”… what’s limiting is hair you have no idea what to do with) and that expression on her face is, for lack of a better word, RANCID. Aminat, you are letting me down with your lack of awesome photo-ness. PLEASE BE MORE AWESOME.
12. Tahlia
Yeah, this is terrible. The Tahlia hate is completely excessive (yeah, she sucks, but people act like she massacred their whole family), but this photo is so bad. She stands out (though Allison looks a bazillion times better… and look at how fierce Nijah is crawling up over that pile of rubble), but that’s the only good thing I can say. Her pose is absolutely awful, and I totally understand what they were talking about with keeping the “tension” or whatever because she’s not doing that at all, and her arms, hands, and the light thingies look terrible.
Make Me a Supermodel
With shorter descriptions.
1. Jonathan
I think this photo is really great and creative. It's very ridiculous, but that's what I think they were aiming for, and it's not unmodelesque ridiculous. The fact that it's got a serious David Beckham vibe only adds to it for me. He got robbed of the win this week IMO, and with his haircut he looks like a hot Denis Leary. Love it.
2. Sandhurst
Gorgeous - it's like art - and inventive.
3. Mountaha
It's very playful. Her face, for once, looks great, though unfortunately I see a lot of drag in it. I see drag in Salome's, too, so I think it might be the makeup. And speaking of Salome...
4. Salome
I feel like it's a little tense in the mouth and she's got this air of panic in her eyes, but besides that I find it a very good photo... and it looked like she had even better ones at the photoshoot. She stands out against the all-pink-ness of it.
5. Shawn
He looks really tough, but also kinda goofy. I'm thinking it's the wig. He has such an opposite look to his personality; he looks like he should be playing Dexter, but then he's such a sweetie. It's a good picture, though. I think he's got nice energy and edginess.
6. CJ
She so deserved to be in the bottom this week and possibly even go home with her TERRIBLE walk and attitude, but this photo is actually very good. The blue looks wonderful against her skin. I wish her face was a little less morbid, but she's giving the camera a strong look.
7. Kerryn
ADORABLE. It could use a little more energy but I love it. It's so charming. She went for something different and it definitely worked.
8. Amanda
Really beautiful, I love its playfulness. She looks exactly like this girl I know at college here. The armpits freak me out and drag this photo down, as armpits are wont to do.
9. Jordan
I like her pose and she transformed herself, which I nearly always think is great, but I don't think this is win-worthy. And every time I look at it, all I can think is Lady Gaga! Amanda's kvetching about it was totally sour grapes, because Jordan didn't really have any more makeup on than others.
10. Karen
She looks HOT but it's wayyyy too sexual. Turn it down, girlfriend. And wow, she looks so much like Eugena.
11. Colin
...he'll improve. I HOPE. Oh, and according to the Bravo website, he was in the top group at elimination??? His walk greatly improved but based on the way he did at the photoshoot and the critiques they were giving him, I swore he was on the bottom. Whatever, anything that keeps my Colin on the show is fine. This is probably TMI but I realized, like, recently, that I've got the heterosexual female equivalent to a sexy librarian fetish and yeaaaaahhhh he's like the ultimate embodiment of that. AHEM. This photo is definitely not any good but I dunno, it's not THE worst of the week by a bit.
12. Laury
Her face is just so... awful. But she's not doing bad other than the fact that she's just, well, ugly. Sorry Laury :( Eh, she does look really tired.
13. Branden
Yeah, I don't get this AT ALL. His pose is lame and rather unflattering. I don't see the iciness the judges praised this photo for; I just see dead dead dead. I thought this guy was an easy early cut, but I guess he's a threat now. I don't think his look is special, he's very boring all-American (and too tall).
14. Chris
It's SCARY. He looks like some kind of hulking sea creature. It's something with the way he's baring his teeth, his pulled-back lips, and the eyes that look in two different directions. It's just not a good photo at all and he's a nice guy but I'm glad he's gone...
15. Gabriel
Oh, wow. Considering the BEAUTIFUL raw material they're working with here, this is shockingly bad. He honestly just looks morbid and pouty. I can't root for him any more, because his personality is kind of terrible and he seems like a major tool (while Branden is losing his toolishness rapidly, which is awesome). But ohhhh I will love looking at him for as long as he lasts.
I should add that I think Tyson's a robot (albeit an extremely HAWT) robot, but it's so cute when he got all depressed that Chris was going, and when he called Branden "my brother." Awww, he cares for his boiiiizzzzzz. I still think Branden is a doofus goofball, but knowing his background... damn, he basically said he got molested, right? Poor guy. :( Oh, and "boobie wa-was". That is all. He's officially an endearing doofus goofball.
1. Teyona
At first I didn’t like this photo that much because I was like “wow, her pose is lazy,” but no, it actually rocks and I think I was momentarily on crack. It’s model lazy, if that makes any sense. Like, at once it’s extremely casual and it shows a large amount of effort. She shows off the clothes well, her legs are awesome, she looks seventy feet tall, and her face is just beautiful. She totally stands out. Fantastic.
2. Allison
The more I look at this picture, the more I like it. She’s holding the light so perfectly – I bet her photography experience truly helped her there – and she looks spectacular with that makeup and her giant weave (eh, just wait until it turns into a Jenah-esque horror show). She really does look like a rock star, when normally she looks like some little mouse. The pose is really creative and interesting. My only issues with this photo is that said pose makes her look short, and her head looks pasted on. But still, awesome.
3. Natalie
Love her pose and the way she stands out. The way she’s hoisting the light over her head is really creative and she manages to make it look really good, as opposed to weird like London. I like – and this is probably unintentional but it rocks – how the light over her head points to her other arm, which is holding the other light. So cool. She shows the clothes off so well, and for some reason I absolutely love the one foot that’s on the ground. She’s only not higher because I think Allison and Teyona were more creative, and she looks stoned in the eyes.
4. Celia
Her face is God-awful here, and every time I look at it it gets worse (and it’s the reason she’s not #1), but that’s the only bad thing about this truly awesome photo. She stands out probably the most of any girl, and her pose is creative and just flat-out awesome. She looks 500 feet tall and that body and hairdo just screams supermodel here. But again, the FACE. She needs to work on that… but she’s not going anywhere any time soon so she’s got plenty of time ;)
5. Fo
I understand why she was in the bottom two and I’m not so sure I love that makeover either (I don’t think cutting hair = EDGY!!!! because Fo’s hair is kind of helmet-looking now), but it’s a really good picture, and in the pile of crap that was this week, she should have been more lauded for that. She looks racially ambiguous (in a good way) and super edgy, and her pose completely draws attention despite the fact that she’s weirdly lying down. I love how it’s casual but sexy. The light on her face is simply awesome.
6. Sandra
Major improvement from last week. Her makeover looks completely stupid and ridiculous, but you can almost ignore that here because she’s kind of rocking it. She stands out despite being backgrounded, and I love how she holds up that one light to shine on her face. The pose is nice and strong. Unfortunately, one of the lights gets very lost against her jacket and her eyes are very blank. But seeing as some photos this week REALLY sucked, this one ain’t so bad.
7. Kortnie
I don’t get this sudden KORTNIE SUCKS GET HER OUT attitude that seems to be permeating through the internet. Oh, wait, she’s a plus-size and she looks not unlike Whitney in this photo, which is probably why everyone hates her randomly now. Anyway, this photo is the end of the good ones this week, and it’s only okay. The pose/her body is what really lets her down, because it’s kind of boring and she doesn’t look like she has much of an idea what to do with the glow sticks. But she looks beautiful and shows the clothes off very well.
8. Nijah
Here’s where the photos start to get a real sense of suckiness and they just get worse and worse from here out. Big step down from Kortnie to here. I think this would have been one of the best photos of the week if she had a lot more energy, but as is, she just looks very “meh I don’t care.” I think Tyra’s constant “SMILE WITH UR EYES GURLFRIEND” thing is ridiculous, of course, but damn I get what she means here, because there’s not a hint of life in those eyes. I feel like the light beam things are super awkward in this photo and she has no idea what to do with them. Her pose makes her look very short. At least she looks pretty, unlike the girls lower than her on this list. Oh and Allison is so damn fierce in this photo.
9. London
This photo seems beloved. I HATE IT. Yeah, she stands out, because she’s TOTALLY foregrounded while the other girls are TOTALLY backgrounded. They did this to an extent with some other girls, but it wasn’t so pronounced. First, the good: the top arm is great (though super shortened), she is absolutely working her makeover, and she really does look like some amazing acid rocker from the 1980s. But the pose seems totally weird, her bottom arm is completely dead and worse, her face looks basically out of it and yeah, kind of retarded.
10. Jessica
Why oh why oh why does she look like such a dude?! She is really really beautiful in real life, but in every photo she takes, she looks absolutely awful. This one is straight-up masculine, way worse than anything Jaslene ever did. She seriously looks like she’s sucking on a really sour lemon while she is possessed by demons. In other words, the face is bad bad bad. Her body looks short and completely unmodelesque. The lights are held in just some random place without any thought to lighting herself. But damn, look at how hard Allison and Nijah are rocking this one. LOVE. But none for Jessica.
11. Aminat
Oh, Aminat. Don’t make me jump off your train of love. This photo is absolutely terrible. You’re only not eliminated by me because I think your pose, even if it is the “pose all the girls strike in the ghetto” is pretty darn fierce. First of all, Kortnie, Celia, and maybe even Sandra stand out far more than Aminat does. Part of it is the way they’re placed in the photo, but part of it is because their photos are flat-out stronger. What really sets Aminat down so far is her head and face. Her hair just completely drags her down (psht, and they called her awesome fro “limiting”… what’s limiting is hair you have no idea what to do with) and that expression on her face is, for lack of a better word, RANCID. Aminat, you are letting me down with your lack of awesome photo-ness. PLEASE BE MORE AWESOME.
12. Tahlia
Yeah, this is terrible. The Tahlia hate is completely excessive (yeah, she sucks, but people act like she massacred their whole family), but this photo is so bad. She stands out (though Allison looks a bazillion times better… and look at how fierce Nijah is crawling up over that pile of rubble), but that’s the only good thing I can say. Her pose is absolutely awful, and I totally understand what they were talking about with keeping the “tension” or whatever because she’s not doing that at all, and her arms, hands, and the light thingies look terrible.
Make Me a Supermodel
With shorter descriptions.
1. Jonathan
I think this photo is really great and creative. It's very ridiculous, but that's what I think they were aiming for, and it's not unmodelesque ridiculous. The fact that it's got a serious David Beckham vibe only adds to it for me. He got robbed of the win this week IMO, and with his haircut he looks like a hot Denis Leary. Love it.
2. Sandhurst
Gorgeous - it's like art - and inventive.
3. Mountaha
It's very playful. Her face, for once, looks great, though unfortunately I see a lot of drag in it. I see drag in Salome's, too, so I think it might be the makeup. And speaking of Salome...
4. Salome
I feel like it's a little tense in the mouth and she's got this air of panic in her eyes, but besides that I find it a very good photo... and it looked like she had even better ones at the photoshoot. She stands out against the all-pink-ness of it.
5. Shawn
He looks really tough, but also kinda goofy. I'm thinking it's the wig. He has such an opposite look to his personality; he looks like he should be playing Dexter, but then he's such a sweetie. It's a good picture, though. I think he's got nice energy and edginess.
6. CJ
She so deserved to be in the bottom this week and possibly even go home with her TERRIBLE walk and attitude, but this photo is actually very good. The blue looks wonderful against her skin. I wish her face was a little less morbid, but she's giving the camera a strong look.
7. Kerryn
ADORABLE. It could use a little more energy but I love it. It's so charming. She went for something different and it definitely worked.
8. Amanda
Really beautiful, I love its playfulness. She looks exactly like this girl I know at college here. The armpits freak me out and drag this photo down, as armpits are wont to do.
9. Jordan
I like her pose and she transformed herself, which I nearly always think is great, but I don't think this is win-worthy. And every time I look at it, all I can think is Lady Gaga! Amanda's kvetching about it was totally sour grapes, because Jordan didn't really have any more makeup on than others.
10. Karen
She looks HOT but it's wayyyy too sexual. Turn it down, girlfriend. And wow, she looks so much like Eugena.
11. Colin
...he'll improve. I HOPE. Oh, and according to the Bravo website, he was in the top group at elimination??? His walk greatly improved but based on the way he did at the photoshoot and the critiques they were giving him, I swore he was on the bottom. Whatever, anything that keeps my Colin on the show is fine. This is probably TMI but I realized, like, recently, that I've got the heterosexual female equivalent to a sexy librarian fetish and yeaaaaahhhh he's like the ultimate embodiment of that. AHEM. This photo is definitely not any good but I dunno, it's not THE worst of the week by a bit.
12. Laury
Her face is just so... awful. But she's not doing bad other than the fact that she's just, well, ugly. Sorry Laury :( Eh, she does look really tired.
13. Branden
Yeah, I don't get this AT ALL. His pose is lame and rather unflattering. I don't see the iciness the judges praised this photo for; I just see dead dead dead. I thought this guy was an easy early cut, but I guess he's a threat now. I don't think his look is special, he's very boring all-American (and too tall).
14. Chris
It's SCARY. He looks like some kind of hulking sea creature. It's something with the way he's baring his teeth, his pulled-back lips, and the eyes that look in two different directions. It's just not a good photo at all and he's a nice guy but I'm glad he's gone...
15. Gabriel
Oh, wow. Considering the BEAUTIFUL raw material they're working with here, this is shockingly bad. He honestly just looks morbid and pouty. I can't root for him any more, because his personality is kind of terrible and he seems like a major tool (while Branden is losing his toolishness rapidly, which is awesome). But ohhhh I will love looking at him for as long as he lasts.
I should add that I think Tyson's a robot (albeit an extremely HAWT) robot, but it's so cute when he got all depressed that Chris was going, and when he called Branden "my brother." Awww, he cares for his boiiiizzzzzz. I still think Branden is a doofus goofball, but knowing his background... damn, he basically said he got molested, right? Poor guy. :( Oh, and "boobie wa-was". That is all. He's officially an endearing doofus goofball.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY
Scarlett Johansson to replace Emily Blunt in Iron Man 2.
Someone - not inaccurately - said that Scarlett Johansson is the Benjamin Button of actresses, where she started out awesome and gets worse and worse with every movie. But I still love her! And hey, ANYONE is an upgrade over Emily Blunt (except Anne Hathaway.).
Someone - not inaccurately - said that Scarlett Johansson is the Benjamin Button of actresses, where she started out awesome and gets worse and worse with every movie. But I still love her! And hey, ANYONE is an upgrade over Emily Blunt (except Anne Hathaway.).
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Y'know...
I Love You, Man actually looks pretty darn funny. Paul Rudd and Rashida Jones look like they'd make an adorable couple. Or, at least, better than John Krasinski and Rashida Jones. ;)
Monday, March 09, 2009
So I've seen Slumdog Millionaire
Dude. Awesome. I was not expecting it to be that good at all.
I need to see a couple more films that are coming out soon/I'm sure I can find, and then WHOOOO I might be able to do my personal 2008 awards!!!!
I need to see a couple more films that are coming out soon/I'm sure I can find, and then WHOOOO I might be able to do my personal 2008 awards!!!!
Hey, rejected lady from The Bachelor
I heard about your whole story and I think it's terrible and that guy is a douchenozzle for dumping you on national TV. But your reaction to this is... doing more reality television? Dumbass...
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Well, since I decided I'm apparently covering Make Me a Supermodel...
I figure I might as well pretend it's ANTM and make "call-out orders."
If we're going by groups:
1. Salome & Gabriel. By a country mile.
2. Karen & Shawn. Individually neither is great, but they strike a good pose together.
3. Sandhurst & Mountaha. Mountaha's face sets these two down soooo much; otherwise they'd be #1.
4. Jonathan & Laury. Laury's face sets these two down so much.
5. Amanda & Kerryn. I honestly like its kind of casual sexiness.
6. Branden & Chris. They're just kind of awkward, but it's not terrible.
7. CJ & Jordan. CJ is rocking the hell out of it but Jordan sucks, and the pose of it just doesn't work at all for either of them.
8. Ken & Colin. This is just... bad. No good. Etc.
If we're going by individuals:
1. Gabriel. DO WANT. Okay, he's kind of a male prop to Salome, but he's doing awesome. Oh man, his face. His lips are... amazing.
2. CJ. I know she struggled badly at the shoot, but strangely enough, she ended up being the second-best - she looks stunningly beautiful and sexy and incredibly confident - while her partner, who was great the whole time, had a final photo that was the second-worst.
3. Sandhurst. The shape of his body is just great. His pose has an awesome casual sexiness.
4. Salome. Girl rocked it. I wish it was a little bit less flail-y but her face is soooo gorgeous and she really does look, I dunno, into it even though she's not looking at Gabriel.
5. Jonathan. He's hot, he knows it, and it totally works.
6. Kerryn. I want to snap at her to wake up and one of her thighs looks pudgy, but her pose is awesome and she easily stands out while not being obnoxious about it.
7. Amanda. Absolutely gorgeous and the clothes look great on her, but there's terror in her eyes and Kerryn badly outshines her. Had she gotten more space in this photo, she might have been in the top three or four "call-outs."
8. Karen. Her facial expression is a little snarly and I wish her stance wasn't so wide, but it's actually kind of cute in a weird way.
9. Branden. For all his homophobia before the shoot, this photo actually turned out quite well. It's a little "yeah I'm so hot I'm gonna just pose here" but he's trying more than Chris.
10. Shawn. He looks cross-eyed and I don't see that much energy, but I dunno, it's still pretty good.
11. Ken. You know, this photo isn't that bad, really. His body is soooo not made for this kind of modeling, though, and it's fucking distracting (OHHH GOOOOOOD). Like Branden's, his pose is more "look at how hot I am," but at least Branden was trying to create intimacy with his partner.
12. Colin. Oh, Colin. :( His pose is interesting, but it makes his torso look freakishly long and his legs look freakishly short with the way Ken cuts him off. His face is unsure and kind of at a weird angle. It's not TERRIBLE, but it's pretty bad...
13. Chris. Wow, he's doing nothing.
14. Mountaha. Her pose is great, but her face completely fucks it up. Wow, I can't get over how bad her face is here. Still, there were two worse...
15. Jordan. I know she rocked it at the shoot, but this final photo is terrible. It's the WORST expression on her face and it's a terrible body position where she looks humongous, when she's really too skinny. It's bizarre... but a horrendous photo.
16. Laury. Absolutely no energy - Jonathan's doing all the work here - and her face is even worse than Mountaha's. Ugh, she looks like she's going to throw up then fall asleep or something. Ugh ugh ugh.
If we're going by groups:
1. Salome & Gabriel. By a country mile.
2. Karen & Shawn. Individually neither is great, but they strike a good pose together.
3. Sandhurst & Mountaha. Mountaha's face sets these two down soooo much; otherwise they'd be #1.
4. Jonathan & Laury. Laury's face sets these two down so much.
5. Amanda & Kerryn. I honestly like its kind of casual sexiness.
6. Branden & Chris. They're just kind of awkward, but it's not terrible.
7. CJ & Jordan. CJ is rocking the hell out of it but Jordan sucks, and the pose of it just doesn't work at all for either of them.
8. Ken & Colin. This is just... bad. No good. Etc.
If we're going by individuals:
1. Gabriel. DO WANT. Okay, he's kind of a male prop to Salome, but he's doing awesome. Oh man, his face. His lips are... amazing.
2. CJ. I know she struggled badly at the shoot, but strangely enough, she ended up being the second-best - she looks stunningly beautiful and sexy and incredibly confident - while her partner, who was great the whole time, had a final photo that was the second-worst.
3. Sandhurst. The shape of his body is just great. His pose has an awesome casual sexiness.
4. Salome. Girl rocked it. I wish it was a little bit less flail-y but her face is soooo gorgeous and she really does look, I dunno, into it even though she's not looking at Gabriel.
5. Jonathan. He's hot, he knows it, and it totally works.
6. Kerryn. I want to snap at her to wake up and one of her thighs looks pudgy, but her pose is awesome and she easily stands out while not being obnoxious about it.
7. Amanda. Absolutely gorgeous and the clothes look great on her, but there's terror in her eyes and Kerryn badly outshines her. Had she gotten more space in this photo, she might have been in the top three or four "call-outs."
8. Karen. Her facial expression is a little snarly and I wish her stance wasn't so wide, but it's actually kind of cute in a weird way.
9. Branden. For all his homophobia before the shoot, this photo actually turned out quite well. It's a little "yeah I'm so hot I'm gonna just pose here" but he's trying more than Chris.
10. Shawn. He looks cross-eyed and I don't see that much energy, but I dunno, it's still pretty good.
11. Ken. You know, this photo isn't that bad, really. His body is soooo not made for this kind of modeling, though, and it's fucking distracting (OHHH GOOOOOOD). Like Branden's, his pose is more "look at how hot I am," but at least Branden was trying to create intimacy with his partner.
12. Colin. Oh, Colin. :( His pose is interesting, but it makes his torso look freakishly long and his legs look freakishly short with the way Ken cuts him off. His face is unsure and kind of at a weird angle. It's not TERRIBLE, but it's pretty bad...
13. Chris. Wow, he's doing nothing.
14. Mountaha. Her pose is great, but her face completely fucks it up. Wow, I can't get over how bad her face is here. Still, there were two worse...
15. Jordan. I know she rocked it at the shoot, but this final photo is terrible. It's the WORST expression on her face and it's a terrible body position where she looks humongous, when she's really too skinny. It's bizarre... but a horrendous photo.
16. Laury. Absolutely no energy - Jonathan's doing all the work here - and her face is even worse than Mountaha's. Ugh, she looks like she's going to throw up then fall asleep or something. Ugh ugh ugh.
JUSTIN!
Don't you have, I dunno, anything better to do than just hanging out around the Saturday Night Live set and coming on whenever they need a random person? Seriously, just join the cast already.
ANTM Cycle 12 & MMaS Season 2, my predix.
America's Next Top Model
13. Isabella
12. Tahlia: Spoiled by babycakes. And you never, ever, EVER doubt babycakes. She'll probably bitch about how her makeover like, limits her, when she already ~has scars~, and Tyra will get fed up with her.
11. Jessica: She will be booted because she won't know her angles or something. And because she sucks.
10. Nijah: Boring. Commercial.
9. Natalie: Who? I think she will be eliminated for being too pretty-pretty or something.
8. Sandra: Her makeover got spoiled, and it's a platinum blonde thing. Oh God. I think this means she doesn't go overseas, and I think she'll get the Clark boot where you think she's being set up for this bitch edit, but then she gets kicked off anticlimactically because her photos just weren't that great.
7. London: If this week is any indication, she'll take fantastic photos, but get kicked off because she's not a model in person.
6. Kortnie: Spoilers said she went overseas, I think, but I can't see her winning or getting much further than this. But hey, not only did a plus-size win, another one made it overseas. So, uh, yay Kortnie, I guess.
5. Fo: According to sketchy spoilers she goes overseas, but I can see her bombing the go-sees because, compared to the other girls, she is very short and commercial. They'll say she doesn't have enough "potential" or something.
13. Isabella
12. Tahlia: Spoiled by babycakes. And you never, ever, EVER doubt babycakes. She'll probably bitch about how her makeover like, limits her, when she already ~has scars~, and Tyra will get fed up with her.
11. Jessica: She will be booted because she won't know her angles or something. And because she sucks.
10. Nijah: Boring. Commercial.
9. Natalie: Who? I think she will be eliminated for being too pretty-pretty or something.
8. Sandra: Her makeover got spoiled, and it's a platinum blonde thing. Oh God. I think this means she doesn't go overseas, and I think she'll get the Clark boot where you think she's being set up for this bitch edit, but then she gets kicked off anticlimactically because her photos just weren't that great.
7. London: If this week is any indication, she'll take fantastic photos, but get kicked off because she's not a model in person.
6. Kortnie: Spoilers said she went overseas, I think, but I can't see her winning or getting much further than this. But hey, not only did a plus-size win, another one made it overseas. So, uh, yay Kortnie, I guess.
5. Fo: According to sketchy spoilers she goes overseas, but I can see her bombing the go-sees because, compared to the other girls, she is very short and commercial. They'll say she doesn't have enough "potential" or something.
4. Celia: They'll pull a Renee with her and randomly say she looks old or something.
3. Teyona: She will probably be kicked off because I can see her taking lousy, lousy beauty shots and she'll be called "too hard" for Cover Girl. Yikes, looking at the F4, I can't see any of those being a good Cover Girl shot...
2. Allison: She'll probably be the judges' favorite all season (and take some really awesome pictures a la Lauren Brie without any hard falls like her), but she's white so she can't win this season.
1. Aminat: I dunno, I just get a vibe, plus she got a good edit in the first episode, which is always a good thing; McKey got, like, no screen time during all of C11 except for the first episode and the recap. As long as you get a good amount of screen time in those, I think that's a good indicator...
3. Teyona: She will probably be kicked off because I can see her taking lousy, lousy beauty shots and she'll be called "too hard" for Cover Girl. Yikes, looking at the F4, I can't see any of those being a good Cover Girl shot...
2. Allison: She'll probably be the judges' favorite all season (and take some really awesome pictures a la Lauren Brie without any hard falls like her), but she's white so she can't win this season.
1. Aminat: I dunno, I just get a vibe, plus she got a good edit in the first episode, which is always a good thing; McKey got, like, no screen time during all of C11 except for the first episode and the recap. As long as you get a good amount of screen time in those, I think that's a good indicator...
Make Me a Supermodel
16. Ken
15. Chris: My guess is he brings nothing new next week, when the judges had high expectations for him because he's so interesting-looking, and he gets kicked off.
14. Laury: Ugh, she SUCKS. She's got an okay walk but there's no way this girl looks like a model. She's incredibly harsh. Easily my least favorite girl. Ew.
13. Branden: He's being edited as a homophobic tool in a Bravo reality show. Yeah, he ain't lasting long.
12. Karen: The judges honestly don't like the two finalists that got voted in by the public. Last season, Katy was in the bottom three four out of the five weeks she was there, and she honestly didn't suck that bad, or actually, at all. Ben got B3ed a lot too, but was popular so he kept getting saved. They got rid of the popular vote though, so that won't save Karen...
11. Kerryn: She seems like total filler. I would switch her and Karen - I dunno if they're going to send the two black girls home first, though they do unfortunately seem like the weakest - if not for the fact that, like I said, the judges really don't like the two people voted in by viewers.
10. Shawn: Once they get rid of the filler, they'll have to start getting rid of people for random reasons even if they're doing well. Shawn is 30 and though you can be older when you start modeling if you're a male model, you can't be 30.
9. CJ: See what I said for Shawn, only she's doomed by The Curse of Being 5'8". Heightists. ;)
8. Gabriel: He is SO HOT but something tells me at the midway point he'll get too cocky (he already seems a bit cocky) and will get kicked off for not standing out enough. God, I'll miss his hot ass/abs/lips/face/everything, though. Drool. Gabriel. DO WANT.
7. Amanda: She's gorgeous, but like Gabriel I think she'll get complacent and will get kicked off for OMG resting on pretty. Tyra would be so ashamed.
6. Jonathan: He'll be kind of a minor villain (like Stefan on Top Chef where he's more entertaining than villainous, but his edit makes us think we're supposed to hate him or something), so I think he'll stick around a while. He also seems to photograph well and have a good walk.
5. Colin: I think he'll be around until nearly the end, because Tyson will like, personally mentor him and he will massively improve, but will get kicked off right before the finale in a heartbreaker because, I dunno, he's not "experienced" enough.
4. Salome: I think, based on her screen time and potential and what not, she'll get far but won't win.
3. Jordan: My guess is she's the bitch of the season and thus she'll get far but won't win. They won't want a white girl with dark hair and sharp features to win again.
2. Mountaha: I dunno, something about her says she gets far because they think she's "interesting" (AKA in all her photographs, her face looks completely bizarre) and she does indeed have a great walk. They give her a platinum blonde makeover and it admittently looks hot.
1. Sandhurst: At this point, his win seems kind of obvious. He's gorgeous, photographs well, has a great walk, and is all kinds of interesting. And I think the judges want a dude to win this year.
Saturday, March 07, 2009
If you haven't figured it out...
Sorry, but I don't think there's going to be one big Oscar post this year. :( There wasn't all that much to snark on anyway. Yaaaay Kate won an Oscar, Anne Hathaway is an attention whore, JAI HOOOOOOOOO, Hugh Jackman is charming but was on screen for like .02 seconds, etc.
"Golden Ticket" promo
Oh my gosh @ Jim/Pam/Andy confessional!!!
Oh and isn't this the episode where the Cloons comes back to ER? Yeah, I might actually watch that.
oh yeah, there was a new Office episode last night!
I thought it was cute, sweet, and understated, but not much of anything. Jim and Pam are adorable and despite much fanfic, yeah I'm glad they weren't those two in the bathroom. Fanfic JAM =/= actual JAM on the show a lot of the time. More thoughts once I rewatch.
Friday, March 06, 2009
Gorgeous, obscenely talented Marisa Tomei...
...what the hell are you doing in this Anger Management bullshit?
(I love Marisa Tomei. I'm so happy she has an Oscar. I'm not 100000% sure she deserved it for My Cousin Vinny but she definitely deserved it for In the Bedroom so you know.)
(I love Marisa Tomei. I'm so happy she has an Oscar. I'm not 100000% sure she deserved it for My Cousin Vinny but she definitely deserved it for In the Bedroom so you know.)
Oh, and Make Me a Supermodel thoughts.
I don't think I'll do this every week but...
Laury: Who? She doesn't seem to get a lot of screentime and I don't think she'll be on this show very long.
Jonathan: He seems cocky and I hate his hair, but seriously give him a buzz cut and he looks like David Beckham. YUM.
CJ: She's cute. She looks like Keira Knightley in this picture, but not in real life. Like everyone else, I felt terrible for her when Salome was like "I'm going to take you with me on the go-see because I can beat you!!!!" Oh, and I love that she is ~vilified~ for being 5'8". This is why I can't oppose Tyra's idea for a short cycle in C13 of ANTM. It's like, no supermodels are going to come out of either series, why not not be so damn serious?
Shawn: He's 30. Yeah, you can start modeling later in male modeling, but not at 30. Anyway, I didn't expect his cute squeaky voice to come out of that SERIOUSFACE, but he seems like a total sweetie.
Kerryn: Cute, but she didn't get very much screentime and seems a bit like filler. That's also not a flattering dress, like, at all.
Gabriel: This is a terrible photo, but he's such a fucking hottie on camera and in photos, I can't get over it. Ugh, he's like... too good-looking.
Jordan: Another girl in an unflattering garment. She's okay. I know she won the week and she was rocking it at the photoshoot while CJ was terrified, but the final photo they chose of her blows. I'm not sold yet.
Ken: Yeah, he was kind of a waste of space, but he seemed like a really nice guy and took his elimination extremely well; I thought he would be a douchebag from this photo. And yeah, I was riiiight there with that judge that said he had one heck of an ass. Ahem.
Karen: Who? Her face scares me. The judges always seem out to get the people who the public votes into the competition; this was the case last season, they already got rid of Ken, and with no more public voting system (THANK GOD), I don't think Karen will stick around very long...
Chris: Definitely my least favorite guy. I thought he could use his androgyny to be interesting but no, he just looks like a chick and kind of sucks as a model. Oh, and I can't get over how much he looks like Scarlett Johansson with tiny lips!
Mountaha: I don't knoooow. I think she might be the winner if Sandhurst isn't, but I definitely don't feel it. In person, she's really super cute and interesting-looking and I think her being Brazilian definitely adds an interesting layer. She photographs horribly, though. Her face is soooo busted-looking. She does seem to look really great in clothes, so maybe she'll make a great runway model.
Branden: Eh, he seems like a tool. When he was going on about how he was "exspecially not gay" I just wanted him to shut up. That said, he did kind of bring it to the shoot and he seemed to get over his icked-out-ness quite a bit. That said, because he's a homophobe and it's a Bravo show, he won't be here for very long.
Amanda: She is adorable but I don't remember much of anything she did. I can't believe she just had a baby! Models are insane.
Colin: Oh, man. My fave, if Sandhurst isn't. He is like... beautiful. And his personality seems really great too, like I loved loved loved his face when Tyson said he wanted to keep him because he had potential. It's like, I dunno, it seems like he's always been pretty dorky or something, and only now he's starting to realize how good-looking he is, and he can't quite believe it and he's always going to be, like, cute and modest. I do think he has a lot of work to do, but I also think he has tons of potential. And he's scaldingly hot. According to his Bravo bio, he goes to Carleton College. GAHHHH guess where I applied and got in but didn't go! Oh well, I'm plenty happy going where I went. ;) He seems cute on his Twitter too. OKAY I'LL STOP BEING A STALKER NOW.
Salome: One of my favorite girls, I think. She's beautiful and she rocked the photoshoot and did quite well on the runway. I feel like she seriously needs to develop her social skills though, due to the incident with CJ. Her naivete might be her downfall if she has one.
Sandhurst: Ugh, love him. He rocks at everything and he's gorgeous in a really, really interesting way. My only issue with him is that at this point, it already seems like he's the winner. And I like a little more suspense than that. :P
In conclusion, all the guys are hot and the girls honestly seem pretty good too. I like that Tyson and the other girl (ah, Nicole Triunfo, thanks TWoP recap) are kind of mentors, even if they're not great hosts. The photoshoot sucked. All the final photos are so super awkward, you can't see the faces and you can hardly see the bodies, and the only photo where I really like both of the people in it is Salome and Gabriel's.
Next week: Yes, Bravo, we know Australian lady calls someone "a tasteless version of Kate Moss," can you stop running that line over and over and over and over in every promo? It reminds me of Toby's "witty comments" from Top Chef, shudder.
Laury: Who? She doesn't seem to get a lot of screentime and I don't think she'll be on this show very long.
Jonathan: He seems cocky and I hate his hair, but seriously give him a buzz cut and he looks like David Beckham. YUM.
CJ: She's cute. She looks like Keira Knightley in this picture, but not in real life. Like everyone else, I felt terrible for her when Salome was like "I'm going to take you with me on the go-see because I can beat you!!!!" Oh, and I love that she is ~vilified~ for being 5'8". This is why I can't oppose Tyra's idea for a short cycle in C13 of ANTM. It's like, no supermodels are going to come out of either series, why not not be so damn serious?
Shawn: He's 30. Yeah, you can start modeling later in male modeling, but not at 30. Anyway, I didn't expect his cute squeaky voice to come out of that SERIOUSFACE, but he seems like a total sweetie.
Kerryn: Cute, but she didn't get very much screentime and seems a bit like filler. That's also not a flattering dress, like, at all.
Gabriel: This is a terrible photo, but he's such a fucking hottie on camera and in photos, I can't get over it. Ugh, he's like... too good-looking.
Jordan: Another girl in an unflattering garment. She's okay. I know she won the week and she was rocking it at the photoshoot while CJ was terrified, but the final photo they chose of her blows. I'm not sold yet.
Ken: Yeah, he was kind of a waste of space, but he seemed like a really nice guy and took his elimination extremely well; I thought he would be a douchebag from this photo. And yeah, I was riiiight there with that judge that said he had one heck of an ass. Ahem.
Karen: Who? Her face scares me. The judges always seem out to get the people who the public votes into the competition; this was the case last season, they already got rid of Ken, and with no more public voting system (THANK GOD), I don't think Karen will stick around very long...
Chris: Definitely my least favorite guy. I thought he could use his androgyny to be interesting but no, he just looks like a chick and kind of sucks as a model. Oh, and I can't get over how much he looks like Scarlett Johansson with tiny lips!
Mountaha: I don't knoooow. I think she might be the winner if Sandhurst isn't, but I definitely don't feel it. In person, she's really super cute and interesting-looking and I think her being Brazilian definitely adds an interesting layer. She photographs horribly, though. Her face is soooo busted-looking. She does seem to look really great in clothes, so maybe she'll make a great runway model.
Branden: Eh, he seems like a tool. When he was going on about how he was "exspecially not gay" I just wanted him to shut up. That said, he did kind of bring it to the shoot and he seemed to get over his icked-out-ness quite a bit. That said, because he's a homophobe and it's a Bravo show, he won't be here for very long.
Amanda: She is adorable but I don't remember much of anything she did. I can't believe she just had a baby! Models are insane.
Colin: Oh, man. My fave, if Sandhurst isn't. He is like... beautiful. And his personality seems really great too, like I loved loved loved his face when Tyson said he wanted to keep him because he had potential. It's like, I dunno, it seems like he's always been pretty dorky or something, and only now he's starting to realize how good-looking he is, and he can't quite believe it and he's always going to be, like, cute and modest. I do think he has a lot of work to do, but I also think he has tons of potential. And he's scaldingly hot. According to his Bravo bio, he goes to Carleton College. GAHHHH guess where I applied and got in but didn't go! Oh well, I'm plenty happy going where I went. ;) He seems cute on his Twitter too. OKAY I'LL STOP BEING A STALKER NOW.
Salome: One of my favorite girls, I think. She's beautiful and she rocked the photoshoot and did quite well on the runway. I feel like she seriously needs to develop her social skills though, due to the incident with CJ. Her naivete might be her downfall if she has one.
Sandhurst: Ugh, love him. He rocks at everything and he's gorgeous in a really, really interesting way. My only issue with him is that at this point, it already seems like he's the winner. And I like a little more suspense than that. :P
In conclusion, all the guys are hot and the girls honestly seem pretty good too. I like that Tyson and the other girl (ah, Nicole Triunfo, thanks TWoP recap) are kind of mentors, even if they're not great hosts. The photoshoot sucked. All the final photos are so super awkward, you can't see the faces and you can hardly see the bodies, and the only photo where I really like both of the people in it is Salome and Gabriel's.
Next week: Yes, Bravo, we know Australian lady calls someone "a tasteless version of Kate Moss," can you stop running that line over and over and over and over in every promo? It reminds me of Toby's "witty comments" from Top Chef, shudder.
America's Next Top Model Cycle 12, Episode 1
Subject to change...
1. London
Wow, I thought she would suck, but this photo is awesome. She manages to show great energy and excitement and be incredibly commercially approachable, while not losing the “model” in her or, like a couple of the smiling girls, look semi-deranged. I love the forward thrust of her pose and how, despite the fact that her upper body is somewhat distorted, that’s hardly the first thing you notice because this photograph is so terrific. I can feel the joy in this picture and that’s great.
2. Fo
That face is downright frightening and she shouldn’t be making herself look shorter than she already is, but other than that, I really like this photo. I think it’s really cute, she does a great job of selling the clothes despite the weird contortions of her body, and honestly it would be a perfect ad for Seventeen or something. Plus it reminds me of Analeigh’s windmill photograph, so that’s never a bad thing. ;) The jumping really works, even if it does make her shorter. Like Nijah, this isn’t a high fashion photo, but it’s still quite good for the theme. I hate that they photoshopped out her freckles though :(
3. Teyona
Well, I don’t like the angle or expression on her face at all (though her eyes look quite good), but that’s the only reason this photo is down as far as it is. She looks fantastic and modelesque despite the fact that she’s jumping, there’s tons of energy and enthusiasm, she shows off the clothes exceptionally well, and she really stands out even with the other girls fairly heavily highlighted in the background. If she’d nailed it in the face and the hand on the left as well, this would be an easy first call-out. I like the inventiveness of her pose.
4. Nijah
I really like this photo, for whatever reason. I think that, despite her big-ass grin, she comes off as not at all manic unlike Celia or Kortnie. I love the subtle way she shows off the skirt and how it works with her pose. I will say that this photograph is extremely commercial and she looks rather short, but hey, this was a photoshoot that tended toward the more commercial side. If this was supposed to be high fashion then it would suck, but it’s not so it’s really one of the better photos of the week. I don’t think she has a lot of potential, but she nailed it here.
5. Natalie
I love the way her legs are posed and the energy her lower body gives off. She also looks super modelesque, even in such a lame-ass photoshoot, and shows off the clothes very well. If the upper body matched the lower half, it probably would have been one of the best photos of the week, but unfortunately she messed it up a bit there. Her face is just so blank, her shoulders seem slumped, and the foreshortened hand and arm look totally bizarre and, in their pose, unintentionally funny (“TALK TO THE HAND GIRLFRIEND”). Still, it’s not fatal. This is still a pretty good photo.
6. Allison
There's no way this deserved first call-out, but it's simultaneously a really good and really haunting photo. Like, she's some cute little kid... who's going off to a Satanic ritual. It’s a quite good photo overall, especially if this was going to be an ad somewhere and not just a photo on ANTM. She looks super modelesque and her face nails the absolutely innocent look and therefore, it’s perfect for this photoshoot. I think she’s selling the clothes very well. I would have liked to see quite a bit more energy from anywhere other than her legs though, and to be honest I think by the end of this cycle I’ll be really tired of her crazy wide-eyed look. I love how she stands out among the other girls, too. I dunno, there’s something striking about her. But I hate the beaver teeth.
7. Kortnie
I love her energy here, and the way she uses the monkey bars and stands out while doing so. She’s showing off the clothes really well and looks super approachable. The legs are absolutely fantastic. She photographs really well; you can’t tell she’s plus-sized at all. This photograph isn’t called higher because her smile comes off as so darn cheesy. Still, she managed to pull the big ol’ grin look off much better than Celia did.
8. Tahlia
Why does every girl look like C8 Natasha in these photos?! Seriously. I think Tahlia’s doing a good job showing off the clothes and displaying a great energy, but this photo looks so posed and stifled. It doesn’t look like a natural sort of energy at all, unlike, I dunno, Fo’s or even Kortnie’s. This photo hardly bad, but it’s just not great. Her face doesn’t look manic with the big grin, but on the other hand her expression looks terribly fake too.
9. Celia
I think her pose is really adorable and she’s got fantastic energy, but her body looks kind of distorted. What’s going on with her feet? I think she might have some kind of weird heels on, but they’re not helping. Also, even though she looks energetic in her shoot, she doesn’t manage to rein in the energy to look... not deranged. Her face is my main issue with this photo, though. I think I just don’t like her facial structure at all. She looks like a skull, or more accurately, a very ugly version of this really pretty girl I know. And she’s got on a weird expression that’s not helping.
10. Aminat
Sorry Aminat, I love you and your personality, but I’m not crazy about this photo. I like how modelesque her pose is, but it’s kind of awkward in not-a-good-way at the same time. She’s not doing a whole lot; there’s pretty much no energy at all in the shot. But what I think is the “worst” about this photo (and it’s not bad, only Isabella’s was the one I would say was outright bad) is her face. It’s a terrible angle and she just looks old and kind of busted. It’s the same darn expression that there was in her promo shot, too (though it’s at a worse angle); her and Allison need to work on that. Also, her legs freak me out a little with how skinny they are, and she lost both her arms. She also doesn’t look like she’s trying to get the childish innocence at all… just that she’s trying to look hot or something.
11. Jessica
Her pose is great for high fashion, she shows off the clothes very well, and her face looks softer and prettier than I was expecting, but her face is completely morbid and she’s not exuding any energy at all. I think she badly missed the point of the photoshoot. Her face, while pretty, looks kind of cross-eyed and in a weird way, almost like it was photoshopped in. I can’t explain how, but it looks like she was pasted on to some other model’s body. Not terrible, but not half as good as some of the other girls’.
12. Sandra
It’s not bad, it’s just not very good. She does a fantastic job of showing off the clothes she’s wearing and her face looks beautiful, but that’s about the only truly good things you can say. She’s got crazy eyes (not to mention she has that issue Sheena had last cycle in the Fiercee photoshoot where it looked like she didn’t have pupils, though it’s not quite as bad as that was), and she’s showing absolutely no energy or effort.
13. Isabella
Sorry Isabella, but this was doubtlessly the worst of the week. Her body contortion is pretty cool, but it makes her look freakishly short and seriously hides her torso. It’s not a very good angle on her face, which looks terrible and totally blank, and the horrible hair styling, while not her fault, doesn’t help there. The worst part, though, is the hands. They’re just totally bizarre, like claws or something, but way worse. I do like her legs here though.
Whew. Good premiere. Looking forward to more!
1. London
Wow, I thought she would suck, but this photo is awesome. She manages to show great energy and excitement and be incredibly commercially approachable, while not losing the “model” in her or, like a couple of the smiling girls, look semi-deranged. I love the forward thrust of her pose and how, despite the fact that her upper body is somewhat distorted, that’s hardly the first thing you notice because this photograph is so terrific. I can feel the joy in this picture and that’s great.
2. Fo
That face is downright frightening and she shouldn’t be making herself look shorter than she already is, but other than that, I really like this photo. I think it’s really cute, she does a great job of selling the clothes despite the weird contortions of her body, and honestly it would be a perfect ad for Seventeen or something. Plus it reminds me of Analeigh’s windmill photograph, so that’s never a bad thing. ;) The jumping really works, even if it does make her shorter. Like Nijah, this isn’t a high fashion photo, but it’s still quite good for the theme. I hate that they photoshopped out her freckles though :(
3. Teyona
Well, I don’t like the angle or expression on her face at all (though her eyes look quite good), but that’s the only reason this photo is down as far as it is. She looks fantastic and modelesque despite the fact that she’s jumping, there’s tons of energy and enthusiasm, she shows off the clothes exceptionally well, and she really stands out even with the other girls fairly heavily highlighted in the background. If she’d nailed it in the face and the hand on the left as well, this would be an easy first call-out. I like the inventiveness of her pose.
4. Nijah
I really like this photo, for whatever reason. I think that, despite her big-ass grin, she comes off as not at all manic unlike Celia or Kortnie. I love the subtle way she shows off the skirt and how it works with her pose. I will say that this photograph is extremely commercial and she looks rather short, but hey, this was a photoshoot that tended toward the more commercial side. If this was supposed to be high fashion then it would suck, but it’s not so it’s really one of the better photos of the week. I don’t think she has a lot of potential, but she nailed it here.
5. Natalie
I love the way her legs are posed and the energy her lower body gives off. She also looks super modelesque, even in such a lame-ass photoshoot, and shows off the clothes very well. If the upper body matched the lower half, it probably would have been one of the best photos of the week, but unfortunately she messed it up a bit there. Her face is just so blank, her shoulders seem slumped, and the foreshortened hand and arm look totally bizarre and, in their pose, unintentionally funny (“TALK TO THE HAND GIRLFRIEND”). Still, it’s not fatal. This is still a pretty good photo.
6. Allison
There's no way this deserved first call-out, but it's simultaneously a really good and really haunting photo. Like, she's some cute little kid... who's going off to a Satanic ritual. It’s a quite good photo overall, especially if this was going to be an ad somewhere and not just a photo on ANTM. She looks super modelesque and her face nails the absolutely innocent look and therefore, it’s perfect for this photoshoot. I think she’s selling the clothes very well. I would have liked to see quite a bit more energy from anywhere other than her legs though, and to be honest I think by the end of this cycle I’ll be really tired of her crazy wide-eyed look. I love how she stands out among the other girls, too. I dunno, there’s something striking about her. But I hate the beaver teeth.
7. Kortnie
I love her energy here, and the way she uses the monkey bars and stands out while doing so. She’s showing off the clothes really well and looks super approachable. The legs are absolutely fantastic. She photographs really well; you can’t tell she’s plus-sized at all. This photograph isn’t called higher because her smile comes off as so darn cheesy. Still, she managed to pull the big ol’ grin look off much better than Celia did.
8. Tahlia
Why does every girl look like C8 Natasha in these photos?! Seriously. I think Tahlia’s doing a good job showing off the clothes and displaying a great energy, but this photo looks so posed and stifled. It doesn’t look like a natural sort of energy at all, unlike, I dunno, Fo’s or even Kortnie’s. This photo hardly bad, but it’s just not great. Her face doesn’t look manic with the big grin, but on the other hand her expression looks terribly fake too.
9. Celia
I think her pose is really adorable and she’s got fantastic energy, but her body looks kind of distorted. What’s going on with her feet? I think she might have some kind of weird heels on, but they’re not helping. Also, even though she looks energetic in her shoot, she doesn’t manage to rein in the energy to look... not deranged. Her face is my main issue with this photo, though. I think I just don’t like her facial structure at all. She looks like a skull, or more accurately, a very ugly version of this really pretty girl I know. And she’s got on a weird expression that’s not helping.
10. Aminat
Sorry Aminat, I love you and your personality, but I’m not crazy about this photo. I like how modelesque her pose is, but it’s kind of awkward in not-a-good-way at the same time. She’s not doing a whole lot; there’s pretty much no energy at all in the shot. But what I think is the “worst” about this photo (and it’s not bad, only Isabella’s was the one I would say was outright bad) is her face. It’s a terrible angle and she just looks old and kind of busted. It’s the same darn expression that there was in her promo shot, too (though it’s at a worse angle); her and Allison need to work on that. Also, her legs freak me out a little with how skinny they are, and she lost both her arms. She also doesn’t look like she’s trying to get the childish innocence at all… just that she’s trying to look hot or something.
11. Jessica
Her pose is great for high fashion, she shows off the clothes very well, and her face looks softer and prettier than I was expecting, but her face is completely morbid and she’s not exuding any energy at all. I think she badly missed the point of the photoshoot. Her face, while pretty, looks kind of cross-eyed and in a weird way, almost like it was photoshopped in. I can’t explain how, but it looks like she was pasted on to some other model’s body. Not terrible, but not half as good as some of the other girls’.
12. Sandra
It’s not bad, it’s just not very good. She does a fantastic job of showing off the clothes she’s wearing and her face looks beautiful, but that’s about the only truly good things you can say. She’s got crazy eyes (not to mention she has that issue Sheena had last cycle in the Fiercee photoshoot where it looked like she didn’t have pupils, though it’s not quite as bad as that was), and she’s showing absolutely no energy or effort.
13. Isabella
Sorry Isabella, but this was doubtlessly the worst of the week. Her body contortion is pretty cool, but it makes her look freakishly short and seriously hides her torso. It’s not a very good angle on her face, which looks terrible and totally blank, and the horrible hair styling, while not her fault, doesn’t help there. The worst part, though, is the hands. They’re just totally bizarre, like claws or something, but way worse. I do like her legs here though.
Whew. Good premiere. Looking forward to more!
Thursday, March 05, 2009
I'm here!!!
Sorry I've been MIA for the past few days. I had a bunch of stuff. I'll type up a big-ass response on ANTM episode 1 later!
Monday, March 02, 2009
Even Time gets in on the Top Chef nontroversy.
One of the Time bloggers: Why Top Chef was right to pick the wrong winner. Oh, wait, except he wasn't the wrong winner. I've seen people bitching and whining about how Hosea didn't deserve his place in the top three because he was "uneven." Really, that's the argument you want to bring up? Let's look at the other contenders I usually see people mention, in booting order... oh, and I guess these are my final thoughts on the Top Chef season, unless something else moves me to comment. Wow, that was pretentious. BUT ANYWAY:
Ariane - Fucked up the first two elimination challenges horribly and didn't do very well in the Quickfires either, other than the one she won. Then, she started winning, like, EVERYTHING. Then, she fucked up badly again and got eliminated. Definition of "uneven."
Radhika - Either won by making something that looked fucking amazing or did a beyond horrible job, usually when she had individual immunity. There didn't seem to be much of a middle ground for her.
Jeff - He went on a roll for a while, but whenever he made something bad, it seemed like it was really bad. Okay, I guess uneven-ness wasn't really his problem so much as he never, ever learned from his mistakes.
Jamie - She was highly uneven on the same darn ingredient (scallops)! I mean, she did horribly at the Christmas catering challenge with them (they like ~conspiracy theorizing~ over at TWoP that the real reason that they didn't have any eliminations during the Christmas episode was that Jamie was the clear worst and they didn't want to get rid of her... um, not so much, considering that they, well, got rid of her, and before the finale, but the idea seemed interesting during the Christmas episode) and then won the "signature dish" challenge with them. Weird.
Leah - Yeah, I hated her attitude too and she was terrible at explaining any ideas she had (IDK I JUST LIKE BACON), but that didn't mean that a lot of her food didn't look quite good (that poussin dish she made for the Quickfire round during the Restaurant Wars episode even though she supposedly had no idea what she was doing, NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM), but when she fell, she fell hard (during the Le Bernardin episode, I just wanted someone to put the poor thing out of her misery) (aaaand one more parenthetical aside because why not).
Fabio - He was my real favorite this season and I was all sad at his elimination, but he really was uneven. He had some amazing highs (the carpaccio, the roasted chicken) and some really low lows (I thought he should have gone home when Jeff did, based on the comments alone ;_;, and he sucked at Quickfires). He was also terrible at taking criticism. TERRIBLE!
Carla - Anyone that says Hosea was uneven but Carla deserves to win makes no sense at all. Carla did nothing but make a not-terrible dessert (then again, on this show that's kind of an accomplishment haha) up until Episode 8, and she was in the bottom/the losing group quite a few times. Then, she won the Super Bowl challenge. Then, she almost got herself eliminated during Restaurant Wars. Then, she like, took over the show, and that was awesome, but seeing as the last meal she made was apparently not very good according to the judges, it looks like she came crashing down again.
Stefan - Not uneven, the only chef that wasn't uneven this season (well... some chefs were even in their badness haha). No doubt he deserved to be in the finale, and as recently as the Le Bernardin episode his win looked like a foregone conclusion. But he messed up when he really critically needed to not mess up.
In conclusion, I don't think Hosea was any more or less uneven than any other contestant. At least he didn't massacre meat (Ariane), act totally out of it when a team needed his leadership (Radhika), never learn from his mistakes and get overly fussy (Jeff), make something inedible (Jamie), show that he had no idea what the hell was going on (Leah), or just plain mess up worse than anyone else (Fabio, Carla, Stefan).
Oh and Mr. Blogger Guy, Carla wouldn't have won if she put out the cheese tart. She massacred the beef and potatoes dish, remember?
But really, who cares about people hatin' on Hosea when FABIO'S GETTING HIS OWN SHOW WHOOOO!!!!!!!!
Ariane - Fucked up the first two elimination challenges horribly and didn't do very well in the Quickfires either, other than the one she won. Then, she started winning, like, EVERYTHING. Then, she fucked up badly again and got eliminated. Definition of "uneven."
Radhika - Either won by making something that looked fucking amazing or did a beyond horrible job, usually when she had individual immunity. There didn't seem to be much of a middle ground for her.
Jeff - He went on a roll for a while, but whenever he made something bad, it seemed like it was really bad. Okay, I guess uneven-ness wasn't really his problem so much as he never, ever learned from his mistakes.
Jamie - She was highly uneven on the same darn ingredient (scallops)! I mean, she did horribly at the Christmas catering challenge with them (they like ~conspiracy theorizing~ over at TWoP that the real reason that they didn't have any eliminations during the Christmas episode was that Jamie was the clear worst and they didn't want to get rid of her... um, not so much, considering that they, well, got rid of her, and before the finale, but the idea seemed interesting during the Christmas episode) and then won the "signature dish" challenge with them. Weird.
Leah - Yeah, I hated her attitude too and she was terrible at explaining any ideas she had (IDK I JUST LIKE BACON), but that didn't mean that a lot of her food didn't look quite good (that poussin dish she made for the Quickfire round during the Restaurant Wars episode even though she supposedly had no idea what she was doing, NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM), but when she fell, she fell hard (during the Le Bernardin episode, I just wanted someone to put the poor thing out of her misery) (aaaand one more parenthetical aside because why not).
Fabio - He was my real favorite this season and I was all sad at his elimination, but he really was uneven. He had some amazing highs (the carpaccio, the roasted chicken) and some really low lows (I thought he should have gone home when Jeff did, based on the comments alone ;_;, and he sucked at Quickfires). He was also terrible at taking criticism. TERRIBLE!
Carla - Anyone that says Hosea was uneven but Carla deserves to win makes no sense at all. Carla did nothing but make a not-terrible dessert (then again, on this show that's kind of an accomplishment haha) up until Episode 8, and she was in the bottom/the losing group quite a few times. Then, she won the Super Bowl challenge. Then, she almost got herself eliminated during Restaurant Wars. Then, she like, took over the show, and that was awesome, but seeing as the last meal she made was apparently not very good according to the judges, it looks like she came crashing down again.
Stefan - Not uneven, the only chef that wasn't uneven this season (well... some chefs were even in their badness haha). No doubt he deserved to be in the finale, and as recently as the Le Bernardin episode his win looked like a foregone conclusion. But he messed up when he really critically needed to not mess up.
In conclusion, I don't think Hosea was any more or less uneven than any other contestant. At least he didn't massacre meat (Ariane), act totally out of it when a team needed his leadership (Radhika), never learn from his mistakes and get overly fussy (Jeff), make something inedible (Jamie), show that he had no idea what the hell was going on (Leah), or just plain mess up worse than anyone else (Fabio, Carla, Stefan).
Oh and Mr. Blogger Guy, Carla wouldn't have won if she put out the cheese tart. She massacred the beef and potatoes dish, remember?
But really, who cares about people hatin' on Hosea when FABIO'S GETTING HIS OWN SHOW WHOOOO!!!!!!!!
Sunday, March 01, 2009
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