Dear Kevin Spacey,
Remember the 1990s, when every performance you did was fucking gold? Your two Oscars are some of the most deserved in the Academy's history and you deserved it one more time in 1997 (L.A. Confidential), plus other nominations. But then 2000 came around and I think you were just like "I'm really tired of winning awards," and you started being in utter shit like Pay It Forward, K-PAX, and The Shipping News (along with Red Dragon, easily the movie with the best cast that all ended up being absolutely terrible - though at least Fiennes and Watson rocked in Red Dragon). I did love you in Superman Returns but I was apparently the only one, and Beyond the Sea was terrible but you were actually convincing despite being approximately 400 years older than Bobby Darin was when he died. Your next film is Fred Claus, in which, apparently, you are being billed UNDER PAUL GIAMATTI. I like Paul and everything, but he's the biggest schlump ever (and no box office draw). C'mon Kevin. Get it together now. I may let you coast on American Beauty forever, but nobody else will.
Love, me.
Remember the 1990s, when every performance you did was fucking gold? Your two Oscars are some of the most deserved in the Academy's history and you deserved it one more time in 1997 (L.A. Confidential), plus other nominations. But then 2000 came around and I think you were just like "I'm really tired of winning awards," and you started being in utter shit like Pay It Forward, K-PAX, and The Shipping News (along with Red Dragon, easily the movie with the best cast that all ended up being absolutely terrible - though at least Fiennes and Watson rocked in Red Dragon). I did love you in Superman Returns but I was apparently the only one, and Beyond the Sea was terrible but you were actually convincing despite being approximately 400 years older than Bobby Darin was when he died. Your next film is Fred Claus, in which, apparently, you are being billed UNDER PAUL GIAMATTI. I like Paul and everything, but he's the biggest schlump ever (and no box office draw). C'mon Kevin. Get it together now. I may let you coast on American Beauty forever, but nobody else will.
Love, me.
