ANTM tonight

SCREW YOU JUDGES BOOOOO I HATE YOU ALL

Seriously, why do they love Alasia and hate all the fierce ladies? Ugh. At least it was really obvious Simone was going home, so I could like, brace myself for it, and not cry and etc.

Also, that photoshoot seriously made me want to vomit. That's not the shoot to see when it's that time of the month. And I feel like all the girls had better photos in their rolls of film, seeing the poses they made at the shoot.

also wooo it's Wednesday.

ANTM time!!!

Fuse is pretty awesome.

Seriously, it's like an actual music video channel. What a novel idea. It makes me feel better when I read things like this, which I dub the Whiny Comment of the Day:
"The Yankees aren't trying to develop any starting pitchers!!!!"
Oh, sorry, even if you've totally 100% given up on the idea of Joba ever being a starting pitcher, is Phil Hughes chopped liver?

aghhhghhhqgjljasg

I love my dad and all but he's been talking to me about Ricky Martin for three hours and he keeps saying all this incredibly offensive stuff about gay people and I want to tell him to stop but I can't cuz he's my dad and aaaagh

(fans self)

I'm watching a repeat of the Yankee game from earlier and did Ken Singleton say he saw Andy in the locker room and Andy's body was conditioned well? WOW. You should... not say these things to me and other impressionable young ladies that may be watching, Ken.

I'll be in my bunk.

this blog is not unlike mine

dullestblog.com

YES Network knows what its lady viewers like.

Lots of pans over to Pettitte who was at that game he was not pitching in for some reason? Yes please.

I woke up at 5:42 this morning

blergh. This weather is awful and makes it like 4 degrees in my apartment.

I like this a lot.

from 1999.

WHOAH RICKY MARTIN IS GAY

I HAD NO IDEA REALLY I DIDN'T

holy crap guys.

the video for "Telephone." I know I'm like weeks old on this.

My brain hurts. Lady Gaga rules as does Beyonce.

dear Daily Show,

your coverage of the whole health care bill was slightly underwhelming. :( Which I guess is what happens when you're on break when the thing actually happens.

wowwww

this is an awful photoshoot.

I will rank them when the episode actually airs, but I think I only like Jessica and Brenda's. Jessica's is very True Blood.


also, it's, um, that time, so seeing bathtubs full of blood makes me want to vomit

oh, man...

Lindsay Lohan is such a goddamn mess now. It's really a shame.

I cannot decide

whether Amanda Seyfried is pretty or really creepy-looking.

bahahahah

Henry Cavill (fans self) posts on ONTD are definitely the best ever.

... as was one post that turned into a wayyyyy overshare about uhh that time of the month

soooo...

did BB-Ref change ERA+ back? Because Mo was always at 202, then they changed it and he was 151 for a bit, and now he's back to 202. A couple of his individual years seemed to change though (I remember him being at 239 ERA+ for 2009, now he's at 244). Voteva.

Sandy Koufax was just silly

postseason numbers:
57 IP, 0.95 ERA, 36 H, 61 K, 11 BB (5.55 K/BB), 0.825 WHIP
I know that's a small sample size but holy crap.

Oh and somehow he was 4-3 with these stats.

you know what I really want right now?

Chicken dumplings yesss mmm

finally done with the ANTM posts (for now) woooo

So... these photos, unlike the other two photoshoots, were mostly really really bad. But I'm gonna rank 'em anyway.

1. Angelea: It's not great, but it's the best of the week by default. She looks really tall and elegant, even if she doesn't look like she's dancing, and one of her arms looks like it's growing out of her neck. And I love her face, plus how she's really pulling off all the dumb accessories she has here.
2. Alasia: I hate the photoshopping here. They should have just had her on the ground; it would have looked much better. That said, it's a pretty good picture. I love the dreamy aspect of it, and I think she's pulling that off really well. I love how statuesque it is, and yet there's a lot of action to the photo as well. I'm not crazy about her face because the eyes are super weird and totally dead, but these photos were all so bad that it's still one of the better ones.
3. Simone: Fierce stunning flawless diva etc. The judges got on her case for not being "committed" or something but I don't really agree; she looks fine here. It's not spectacular or anything, but it's better than the rest of these crappy photos. I think there's a lot of "oomph" in her face, actually, and that convinces me. My biggest problem is that she almost looks kinda short here.
4. Raina: Body is absolutely sick here, and I think she makes this photo pretty modelesque, as well as pulling off her genre, which was kind of strange. Oh, and I want her legs. They're pretty sick. But her face... yikes. It's just not that flattering for me. I think it's the expression, as well as her mouth. Also WTF do her shoes have fringe?
5. Alexandra: I'm not crazy about the photography in this picture, but that's not her fault. This is pretty good. I love how tall she looks and that one leg that's in the air. It's just kinda... meh. Her face looks very hesitant and she really does seem to sort of suffer from Whitneymouth, plus there's so much tension in her upper body and arms.
6. Jessica: She really needed a much more lively face for this, and the way that dress rides on her chest is really annoying, but it's not bad. She looks gorgeous and, above all, she looks incredibly modelesque. I love how tall and thin she looks. She really looks like a model, but I don't think she expresses her given dance very well at all.
7. Anslee: It's not AWFUL, but it's so incredibly stiff. It's not model-y, it's just awkward. Don't really have much else to say about this, oh well. Her face looks pretty but again, it looks like she's clenching her jaw.
8. Krista: I love her body here. I think she's portraying her genre really well, and she looks very tall and thin. So why is she so low? OH MY GOD HER FACE WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH IT AAAGH. Seriously, look at it. The expression, the angle, it's unbelievably horrible. Wow. But she portrays ballet quite well, though, let's face it, it was probably one of the easier genres to portray.
9. Tatianna: She looks tall and skinny and her legs rule, but this just isn't a very good photo. The pose is soooo awkward and, well, posey. And OH MY GOD HER FACE! I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING BAHAHAHAHHA. Also, it looks like her hand is growing out of her head, kinda. I can't figure Tatianna out. Her photos are generally either awesome or terrible, and she gets like five seconds of screentime an episode.
10. Brenda: Well... uh... she looks tall... and that's about it. I'm sorry, she's just so incredibly awkward here. Her pose just looks like a statue. I don't really see the dance there. And her face is just... I don't get it. Her eyes look absolutely terrible and the expression on her face is all messed up. I hate her mouth, too.
11. Ren: I just... well, much like Tatianna's photo, I laughed for DAYS. Wow. WTF is this? She looks really tall but her proportions look very weird (long torso, short legs). I know disco was a weird theme, but she just looks so incredibly awkward here. She doesn't look committed enough in her face, which could have made her silly pose look a lot better. I just don't like it much at all. She really fell off a cliff after her spectacular first photo.

I love my Kindle. eom.

HMMMMM

so the game gets cancelled when we're beating the Tigers 8-0 in the fourth??? IT'S A CONSPIRACY TO MAKE OUR GRAPEFRUIT LEAGUE RECORD LOOK WORSE!!!!!

(I am kidding.)

ONE WEEK!!!!

And I'll be having a hernia or something. CAN'T WAIT!!!!

oh holy crap

It's "only" 12:30???

the next batch of ANTM pictures...

These were weird beauty shots with "perfume" that was really paint. Still, I gotta give ANTM props, they do a beauty shoot nearly every cycle and they've managed to come up with original ideas. Yay.

1. Raina: I gasped a little when I saw this photo. She looks like a real model. It is fan-freaking-tastic. I contemplated putting her second, but for this photo's incredible impact, I rank her first. Maybe she could be doing a little bit more, I suppose, but when you've got that face, do you really need to do more?
2. Anslee: Why hello fierce bitch. I loooove her approach to this photo. I thought she did something quite original which could have been weird, but she totally pulled it off. And that BONE STRUCTURE zomg. To die. She looks like a mannequin here, in a good way, and she's really showing off the "perfume." Fantastic. I don't love how it looks like her hand is on her boob but it's a maaaahvelous picture besides that. I just like Raina's a tad more.
3. Tatianna: I feel like she gets about five seconds of screentime a week, so I don't really know what to think of her, but I love this picture. It's not as crazy outstanding as the first two, but it's a great photo. It looks a little bit like she is genuinely cold and not like she's modeling, but that's really my only nitpick. It's a gorgeous, sensual photo and I looooove the expression on her face. Whether it was intentional or not, this photo looks exactly like a perfume ad. I love the passion in her eyes, too. And you know what? She makes the beaver teeth work! It is a miracle!
4. Simone: I'll get the negative out of the way first; I'm not crazy about the way she's all scrunched up. It looks a bit uncomfortable, and this photo isn't as OUTSTANDING as the three above it. That said, it's a wonderful picture. That's a great angle on her face, and I love her expression. I think it works really well as both an ad and a modeling photo. GO STUNNING GODDESS!!!!
5. Alexandra: It's not reinventing the wheel, but it's a very pretty picture of a very pretty girl. I wish she hadn't tilted her head up like that because it's a little like looking up her nose, but it's still a pretty flattering angle on her. I see genuine emotion in her eyes. It's not outstanding, but it's nice.
6. Jessica: Small step down. This is an okay shot. I loooove the energy in her pose, but I wish it had carried over to her face. It's almost too serene, if that makes sense, and that's just not a great angle on her, to be honest. Something is a little weird in her eyes, as well. But I love her originality and it's still a pretty good picture.
7. Krista: I go back and forth between liking this quite a bit and not really liking it. Sometimes I see her trying to get a lot of emotion out of her eyes and expression in general, and sometimes I think she's basically just sitting there going "meh." Also, the makeup they put on her makes her look a little old. Still, I'm totally obsessed with her skin and her bone structure, and she's showing them off perfectly. So yay, to some extent.
8. Angelea: Ugh, this would have been so much better if they just photoshopped out the GIANT piece of hair that's over her nose! Anyway, yeah. I think she's trying a bit too hard here and at the same time her eyes scream "tiiiiired" to me, which I don't really like. But it's a nice photo. She looks very soft, and I actually like the clasped hands. I know there haven't been very many photoshoots yet but she has a lot more range in photos than I thought she would; I basically thought she was going to look like a drag queen in every photo, heh.
9. Naduah: Pretty serious step down... the previous eight are awesome to at least pretty good and these are just not. I believe the judges said she looked like a blow-up doll in this photo and you know what, they were totally right. It's a pretty picture, but the face has no emotion in it at all and the open mouth leads to it looking like, well, a blow-up doll. It's not a great angle, either. The hands are awkward and claw-like. I just don't like it very much.
10. Alasia: Uhhhh... I dunno. She's just sort of staring at the camera without any real expression or emotion. She's not selling me much of anything. At the same time, she looks really bad - her face almost looks like a drag queen's for whatever reason - and kind of pissed off. It also looks like there's drool coming off her chin. I don't like this photo much at all.
11. Brenda: Ugh the bottom two pictures this week are soooo uncomfortable. This is just totally awkward. Like, her face and eyes and expression all look completely wonky. The beaver teeth? The armpits? This is like the way to get me not to like a picture. It's not selling me anything and it's a terrible beauty shot. But! Someone was even worse!
12. Ren: I LOOOOOVED her first picture. I HAAAAATE this picture. She looks so hesitant, like she's super uncomfortable and doesn't have the slightest clue what she's doing. And HER EYES ARE CROSSED!!!!! It's awful. Sorry Ren, I thought you were gonna be a fierce bitch goddess but you're just not good at any of this stuff.

Socks.

I have so many of them.

However, probably not quite as many as useless 2 AM posts on this thing. Wheeeee

YES Network seeks to torture me

Okay, so I found this clip of Teixeira from last year's Spring Training doing hitting drills that unfortunately I cannot link to. And at one point he's alllll sweaty and he like, whispers, "That's it right there."

O_O (falls over dead)

ETA: Oh Jesus later on in the clip Tex and Andy are talking to each other in like hushed tones about who will cover first base in certain situations and Andy is like "I love it. I love it so much." Holy fuck. I want to touch them soooo bad. Why is my boyfriend not here?!?

(if you want to see this clip you can go to the clip of Andy at the last night at Yankee Stadium and look under the stuff on "Yankees on Deck" on the side. It's the one about Teixeira. Dlajgljslgjasdf. Hot.)

so I just came back from being out

I may as well rank the ANTM photos of the last few weeks, right? I'll start with the first photoshoot, obviously.

Nude with accessories:
1. Jessica: Let me say that almost all of these photos are wonderful. Some of them are among the best photos ever done on this show, including this one. She looks absolutely stunning; she's bringing a lot of interesting angles to this photo, but she doesn't look weird and awkward. She looks confident and she's selling the accessory really well. Just... everything about it is so awesome. This is probably one of my top twenty photos or so ever taken on this show. It rules.
2. Brenda: Ugh, I love this. I really think that it looks like it came straight out of a magazine, even if I never liked the "ZOMG straight outta Vogue!!!!" critique of a picture. Everything about it is pretty much perfect, so I don't really have anything to say. I just think Jessica's has a little more life to it, so I like it more. This photo is slightly more... unapproachable? I guess that's the word. It's still a fabulous photo, though.
3. Ren: Before Ren got megaskank, I looooved her for this photo. I don't like all the space above her, but that's the photographer's fault. It's just... it's really wonderful. Her body looks elegant, I love her posing, and I loooove her face here. I don't really know how to describe her expression, but it's perfect. She's even using her hands well, when they could potentially be a lot more awkward. I really like this.
4. Ainslee: There are too many girls this cycle whose names start with "A," please start kicking some of them off soon. Anyway, this photo rocks. It really is an ad. Her pose, the expression on her face, and the way she's holding that bag very casually yet still selling it... I love it all. It turns out that her face photographs really well. My only issue with it is that due to the way she's holding them, the length of her legs looks uneven, and that's a nitpick. It's still a great photo.
5. Raina: Oh hey, boob flowers. Because of the way it's photographed this photo is a tad more "meh" than the four above it, but it's still a glorious photo. I think the judges said she's like a courtesan here and I totally agree. Her face looks stunning; she looks like a real supermodel. Additionally, she is super elegant, and she's subtly selling her accessory. I love it.
6. Simone: As I said like 30 times while watching this week's episode, HELLO FLAWLESS GODDESS. I love her so much more than everyone else. She really looks amazing here. Super tall, awesome skin, she's doing a fantastic job showing off the accessory off. I get a Rihanna vibe and that is never a bad thing. The only reason it's not ranked higher is because her hands are a little awkward. It almost kinda looks like she's... uh... touching herself until you realize the hand's on her thigh. But it's an awesome photo.
7. Alexandra: Slight gap between the first six and Alexandra's photo. Oh nos, not Whitney mouth!!!! I like how ferocious, for lack of a better word, she looks in this photo. It's both appealing in modeling terms and selling the accessory. The only reason it's so low is that I think a lot of it might be the styling/the wind in the hair rather than anything really original that she did. When it's a week this strong, really good pictures like this get knocked down quite a bit. Oh, and the hands are kinda weird, especially the one on her boob.
8. Tatianna: It absolutely screams model. Totally. It looks like a Tom Ford ad for realz. There's really only one reason this photo is so low, and it's the whole spread legs thing. Sorry, it's distracting! Also, the expression on her face is a little "I have a case of the crankies!" But this is a fantastic photo. She looks so tall and modelesque and awesome. Yeah. I'm just rambling at this point (I did this in alphabetical order and she's last, so I'm writing this last). Don't mind me.
9. Krista: Minor step down. These are the non-amazing photos of this week. She looks sooooo tall and modelesque in this photo, and her skin is absolutely to die for and I would like to steal it right now along with her legs, but the look on her face is super meh. I don't like that very much; it looks like she's not trying at all. But it's still a good picture. She's selling the ... I don't even know what that accessory is, but she's selling it. She just needed a better expression.
10. Angelea: Really, all the amazing photos this week and this gets called #2? It's not bad, it's just not nearly as good as a lot of other photos. She's showing off the shoes and her pose is interesting, but it's also super awkward and way too posey. She has a face that photographs really nicely, much to my surprise (that sounds mean), but her expression is a little sleepy and "duh"? Like I said, it's a great picture, but it didn't deserve the high call-out it got.
11. Gabrielle: I want those leggings bad. But this photo is kinda meh. I love her face so I probably would have kept her another week, but I can see why the judges let her go. She looks totally bewildered and all hunched up like she doesn't know what to do, and not in a cool fashion way, but in a way where she genuinely does not know what she's doing. Combined with the partial nudity, it's almost a little uncomfortable. But, it's not a bad shot or anything like that.
12. Alasia: This photo isn't bad, but it makes me kinda laugh and go "huhhhh?" I mean, her arm looks like it's dropping out of her butt. Lulz. But again, it's not a bad picture. She has such lovely skin and I like that "oops, you caught me!" expression on her face, even if it probably wasn't intentional. That vest should probably be on the right way, though...
13. Naduah: Just because I rated it as the "worst" photo of the week doesn't mean it's bad. All of these photos were good. That said, while she's selling the glasses really well, that's not a great angle or expression for her face. And the thing that bothers me most of all is the pose, basically because it's like "hey here's my vag." So... eek. But it's still not a bad picture. Just a sort of uncomfortably posed one.

I love Pink, but...

the lyric "Your pain is painful" is, well, kinda painful.

soooo tired

want to take a nap but that just means I won't be able to go to sleep tonight which means....... it's an endless vicious cycle really

I wish I was a Yankee beat writer

1. I GET TO FOLLOW THE YANKEES THAT IS AWESOME
2. playing paintball with Cashman and Girardi? Ummm that is the most amazing thing ever

is he CRYING? (or close to it)

I legit cannot handle it if so

mmmm orange juice

Yesssss.

ahmahgahd

If you think the Yankees could have traded Joba Chamberlain straight-up for Roy Halladay last summer, congratulations, you're really clueless.

Also, the Joba thread at NYYFans.com is perhaps the worst place in the world. "Joba sucks and he's done and the organization killed him but he should be the fifth starter the Yankees are the worst and stupidest organization ever!!!!!!"

let me just take a moment to say...

how much I luuuurve the nickname "the J-Hey kid" for Jason Heyward.

Also, with the news that Heyward has made the team, Melky is now the team's fourth outfielder. The Braves traded their ace for a fourth outfielder and a prospect that has a good amount of upside but is three years at least away from the majors. Heh.

pervs

Holy crap they're making a Zoolander 2???

be my best friend Andre Leon Talley

A lot of me totally loves that the hot mess that is ANTM has one of the most influential people in the entire world of fashion on its panel.

don't cry, Simone!!!

I love you stunning flawless diva!!!

omg...

whose idea was it to give Ren disco??? That was a fantastic idea and I give you much credit.

O_O

these photos (the dance genre ones) on ANTM are really quite horrifyingly bad, pretty much all of them.

wow...

Project Runway has been going on? How did I not know that? Damn you, boring-ass last season that totally took away all my interest in the show!!!

arrrgh

I really think some people want AJ and Hughes to be on the DL all season and Andy to like die and the Yankees to suck so they can be all "I TOLD YOU SO!!!" even though there's no way the people they're "telling" will be able to hear what they're saying.

Way to be great Yankee fans, guys!!!

uhh Jessica? (ANTM Jessica, I mean)

Did you really just call someone "pageanty"? Because, like, you're pretty awesome and all but you shouldn't talk.

dear Simone on Cycle 14 of ANTM,

You are stunning and flawless and you take awesome pictures and I generally wish I could be you.

Love,
me

wow

I am watching last night's ANTM (I can literally feel my stress levels decreasing, which is nice) and Ren actually looks very pretty in person when she's sitting on her bed wearing bright red lipstick and sort of laughing with the other girls. Wow.

*_* part like the millionth

"I'm not exaggerating," Obama told the crowd, "leaders of the Republican party,
they called the passage of this bill 'Armageddon!' Armageddon. End of freedom as
we know it. So after I signed the bill, I looked around to see if there were any
asteroids falling, or some cracks opening up in the Earth. Turned out it was a
nice day."

So with everything else in my life being kind of crappy right now at least my Barry O. is not disappointing me.

oh, and I'm FINALLY eating lunch

seriously. Aaagh. Today.

oh Albert Pujols

You are so handsome and intelligent please speak beautiful Spanish to me and make me forget about dumb overreactions by Yankee fans and bad decisions by the FO.

dear the people who live upstairs

You walk around too heavily. Stop it.

No love,
Me

you might be overreacting if

you say the Yankees are "doomed" because they chose Hughes.

Look, I wanted Joba too. This makes me doubt if the FO can develop SP at all or if they're just kind of throwing up their hands and giving up here (please put him in Scranton?). But they are not fucking "doomed" OMG. Hughes is not Sergio Mitre.

VH1 only has crap nowadays.

Annoying. Not even like Rock of Love crap but boring and depressing crap that no one wants to watch.

oh noooo

on BB-Ref, they changed the way they calculate ERA+ so any and all old posts in which I reference ERA+ are now probably wrong grrr.

how many hours have I spent watching Sex and the City?

Between watching every episode like five times, and having seen the 2+ hour movie at least ten times... yeesh that's probably way too much of my life.

well that felt good.

I feel like I just took a really hot shower or threw a plate against the wall or had really awesome loud sex or something.

this is what I'm talking about that pissed me off all day

here. Well not this exactly, but the general sentiment.

I want Joba in the rotation too. I think it's silly not to put him there and points to the organization not really knowing what to do with these kids if they do put him there for 2010. But honestly, get over it, sweetie. It's this kind of shit that was making me outright depressed thinking of the idea of Hughes in the rotation for 2010. Thanks, places like this (as well as River Ave Blues, a generally terrific site that basically posted a "woe is us, we are doomed if Joba doesn't get the fifth spot" article today).

"Dark age," "dystopia"?!?! You sound like one of those Yankee fans who complain about how 2001-2008 (sometimes 2002-2008) were total failures and this person, as far as I can tell from her tumblr, would be embarrassed to be counted among that group. They averaged like 97 wins a year in that period. There were issues, but seriously, a fucking dark age? "Deep spiritual journey"? Get over your goddamn self.

Also? Sometimes pitching prospects, yes really hyped pitching prospects, just don't work out. I do think Joba and Hughes should be given every opportunity to succeed and bouncing Joba and Hughes around in the bullpen and rotation isn't going to do that, but believe it or not, our prospects aren't necessarily going to turn out better and/or dominate just because they're magical Yankee prospects and we really really really really want them to. Oh, and neither are the Rays' prospects.

Cry fuckin' more. I shouldn't read this before going to bed because it'll just piss me off and make me think that Hughes in the rotation is the end of the woooooorld ohhh nooooo

I wish I was smarter and more interesting.

pretty much.

I need more seltzer and less stiff neck.

Also I totally forgot to watch ANTM tonight FML. I'll try and watch it on YouTube or something whenever it pops up because it always does.

and seriously, the weather!

WTF you were supposed to stay all nice and warm and sunny :(

okay I'm going to go calm down and have some tea now

(sobs because the Yankees' FO doesn't think my opinion is important)

this is my impression of the Joba/Hughes fifth starter debate

WAAAAAAAAHHHH

MENTALITY

WAAAHHHHH THE YANKEES DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING

BULL IN A CHINA SHOP


WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

omg guys

the Phillies are the only team that ever lost a World Series (/Kruk'd) omg I feel so bad for them

easily amused

this commercial for Snickers with Aretha Franklin cracks me up.

a note to everyone dumb:

It's PRIMADONNA. Not PRE-MADONNA.

hmm. interesting.

This list.

I have seen 81 of those, by my count... and no, I'm not particularly ashamed of not seeing Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel. I should get on Avatar, though. Heh.

on the Yankees and LF

So I've heard a lot of panic because our LF bunch will probably be some combination of Brett Gardner and Randy Winn, and these guys are not world-beaters. However, it's hard to get all nail-gnawingly-nervous when you consider the offense that will likely come from other places on the team, and the solid pitching we will have. Even if they're not great, which I don't expect them to be, great teams with below-average players offensively are not exactly rare...

AL CHAMPIONS
2000 Yankees:
Shane Spencer 99 OPS+
Paul O'Neill 92 OPS+
Chuck Knoblauch 92 OPS+
Ricky Ledee 90 OPS+
Tino Martinez 89 OPS+
Scott Brosius 70 OPS+
overall team OPS+ 103

2001 Yankees:
David Justice 98 OPS+
Alfonso Soriano 90 OPS+
Chuck Knoblauch 82 OPS+
overall team OPS+ 100

2002 Angels:
Darin Erstad 86 OPS+
Bengie Molina 58 OPS+
overall team OPS+ 105

2003 Yankees:
Robin Ventura 96 OPS+
overall team OPS+ 114*

BESTTEAMEVAHOMGZSUPERCHAMPIONS 2004 Red Sox:
Gabe Kapler 77 OPS+
Pokey Reese 45 OPS+
overall team OPS+ 110

2005 White Sox:
they only had three regulars with an OPS+ over 100... the other guys were 96, 94, 93, 90, 86, 85.
overall team OPS+ 95
(in case you were wondering, overall team ERA+: 124)

2006 Tigers:
like the White Sox, they only had four regulars with an OPS+ over 100... the other guys were 99, two 98s, 97, 80
overall team OPS+ 99

2007 Red Sox:
Coco Crisp 83 OPS+
Julio Lugo 65 OPS+
overall team OPS+ 107

2008 Rays:
Akinori Iwamura 93 OPS+
Carl Crawford 89 OPS+
Jason Bartlett 83 OPS+
overall team OPS+ 101

2009 Yankees:
Melky Cabrera 99 OPS+
overall team OPS+ 122 (drools)

NL CHAMPIONS
(keep in mind, these guys also had the pitchers in their lineup)

2000 Mets:
Derek Bell 98 OPS+
Jay Payton 98 OPS+
Robin Ventura 98 OPS+
Mike Bordick 76 OPS+
overall team OPS+ 98

2001 Diamondbacks:
Matt Williams 92 OPS+**
Steve Finley 91 OPS+
Damian Miller 89 OPS+
Jay Bell 88 OPS+
Tony Womack 64 OPS+
overall team OPS+ 94

2002 Giants:
Rich Aurilia 92 OPS+
JT Snow 90 OPS+
Tsuyoshi Shinjo 78 OPS+
overall team OPS+ 110***

2003 Marlins:
Juan Encarnacion 97 OPS+
Alex Gonzalez 96 OPS+
Juan Pierre 94 OPS+
Todd Hollandsworth 93 OPS+
overall team OPS+ 97

2004 Cardinals:
Ray Lankford 99 OPS+
Tony Womack 91 OPS+
Edgar Renteria 88 OPS+
Mike Matheny 65 OPS+
overall team OPS+ 106****

2005 Astros:
Brad Ausmus 80 OPS+
Chris Burke 76 OPS+
Willy Taveras 75 OPS+
Adam Everett 70 OPS+
overall team OPS+ 90
(in case you were wondering, overall team ERA+: 120)

2006 Cardinals:
Juan Encarnacion 93 OPS+
David Eckstein 81 OPS+
So Taguchi 78 OPS+
Aaron Miles 74 OPS+
Yadier Molina 53 OPS+
overall team OPS+ 97

2007 Rockies:
Willy Taveras 89 OPS+
Kazuo Matsui 87 OPS+
Yorvit Torrealba 76 OPS+
overall team OPS+ 98

2008 Phillies:
Pedro Feliz 81 OPS+
Carlos Ruiz 63 OPS+
overall team OPS+ 98

2009 Phillies:
Jimmy Rollins 86 OPS+
Pedro Feliz 81 OPS+
overall team OPS+ 103

* FUCK YOU MARLINS
** How the mighty have fallen.
*** I dare suggest this was rather heavily weighed by Mr. Barrold Bonds and his 268 OPS+
**** probably on the strength of Pujols (172 OPS+), Edmonds (170 OPS+), and Rolen (157 OPS+)

Heck, the 1998 Yankees had Chad Curtis and his 90 OPS+ manning LF. The 2001 Mariners had four guys that were below-average offensively. I get the feeling the 2010 Yankees will be juuust fine.

it's pouring out.

IS THIS THE SOCIALISM????

Later tonight: why you should not worry about the Yankees' LF.

omg...

watching Repubs implode on Twitter over HCR is hilarious

So are we officially socialist yet? Should I go line up to have my mandatory abortion???

waaaaah

It's entirely too hot out. Yes, I am complaining about this.

(falls over)

YES has Andy Pettitte talking about helping children with disabilities. THAT'S BASICALLY LIKE PORN FOR US LADIES.

Isla Fisher

is so effin' adorable. Not Amy Adams adorable but adorable.

and speaking of that...

Modern Yankee Heroes: Andy Pettitte.

Andy talking about his wife always makes me =/ though it's nice to see he's so devoted. (also, Jesus.)

wtffff

A.J. Burnett will start on Sunday, with Phil Hughes pitching in relief. Joba Chamberlain will start on Monday, with Andy Pettitte pitching in a minor league game.

I'm never gonna see my boyfriend pitch this spring ;_;

i am so ridiculously tired

agh why

# of times I have wished I was Lady Gaga today

5028509846.

ugh

today is not a great day =/

if these playoff predictions/projections came true...

I would die of teh happy. And there would be huge ratings to boot!

oh my God

a booth of Bob Lorenz and John Flaherty could not possibly be more boring

Politics are depressing.

eom

Bejeweled = my true love.

Sorry, Andy.

I really forgot how good...

Sex and the City is (the TV show). Remind me to watch it like every other month or so.

thoughts on tonight's ANTM

- what Alexandra did on that runway I would have done, like, in sneakers. Yeesh.
- I LOOOOVED the first photoshoot. LOOOOVED. Even the worst photos from it were still pretty fabulous. That second photoshoot was like hella awkward, though.
- I'm shocked Naduah went home. She's usually the kind of girl they give a million chances to. She was super annoying and cocky, though, so it's not a bad thing.
- that fight between Ren and Alasia was terribly edited. WTF???
- aaaagh Ren is so stupid I want to punch her (and Alasia too, don't get me wrong)

DEAD. DEAD, OF THE CUTE.

things that suck

1. getting woken up at 7:30 AM by construction RIGHT OUTSIDE my apartment window
2. not being able to see the first Andy Day of 2010 ;_;

this rules

the films of the 2000s from Paul Proulx on Vimeo.

See, this is still kind of a movie blog!!!!

(I love that the default image you see before playing this movie is Lost in Translation. Yaaayyy)

because you really care

I have seven hoodies and five sweatshirts. That seems excessive.

soooo...

it seems like everything else came on in my apartment but not the heat. Yayyyyy (freezes to death)

wtf is wrong with my hair

It's like all crinkly and weird =/

Pitchers will break your heart.

I don't really follow prospects, I must say, mostly on purpose. I know who the Yankees' top prospects are, but they are so volatile that I'm unwilling to follow them with any sort of relish, knowing they could either severely disappoint and/or get traded. This is incredibly true for pitchers. I found this list and looked at the first year Derek Jeter was listed. It's 1993; he's #44. Just for sorta-fun, I decided to look at what happened to the pitchers listed above him...

PITCHERS
2. Brien Taylor (LHP, Yankees)
I don't want to taaaalk about it *cries*
Good lord, can you imagine if he'd lived up to his potential/hype? In 1999 the Yankees' rotation probably would have been:
Clemens
Taylor
Cone
El Duque
Pettitte
I believe they call that... VIDEOGAME'D.

7. Todd Van Poppel (RHP, Athletics)
11 seasons (907 IP), 80 ERA+

8. Jason Bere (RHP, White Sox)
11 seasons (1111 IP), 86 ERA+

9. Allen Watson (LHP, Cardinals)
8 seasons (892 IP), 86 ERA+

10. Tyrone Hill (LHP, Brewers)
I can't find any BB-Ref info on him. Do they mean... like... the basketball player??

11. Kurt Miller (RHP, Rangers)
5 seasons (80.2 IP), 56 ERA+

17. Tavo Alvarez (RHP, Expos)
2 seasons (58.1 IP), 80 ERA+

18. Brad Pennington (LHP, Orioles)
5 seasons (75.2 IP), 66 ERA+

23. David Nied (RHP, Rockies)
5 seasons (241.2 IP), 95 ERA+

25. Frank Rodriguez (RHP, Red Sox)
7 seasons (654 IP), 88 ERA+

28. Bobby Jones (RHP, Mets)
10 seasons (1518.2 IP), 94 ERA+

29. Troy Percival (RHP, Angels)
14 seasons (708.2 IP), 146 ERA+

31. Tyler Green (RHP, Phillies)
4 seasons (384 IP), 83 ERA+

32. Jim Pittsley (RHP, Royals)
4 seasons, 225.2 IP, 78 ERA+

36. John Roper (RHP, Reds)
3 seasons, 180 IP, 77 ERA+

41. Jessie Hollins (RHP, Cubs)
4.2 ML IP, 13.50 ERA

42. Todd Jones (RHP, Astros)
16 seasons (1072 IP), 111 ERA+

So really, a lot of these guys had downright awful careers. Don't get me wrong, some of the position players went nowhere either, but those listed above Jeter include Chipper Jones, Carlos Delgado, Tim Salmon, Manny Ramirez, Javy Lopez, Johnny Damon, and Mike Piazza. So that's three guys that should be HOF locks (Chipper, Manny, Piazza... not to mention Jeter himself), a couple of guys that are borderline, and some guys that had really solid careers.

I think the scouting and other info maybe got better, because if you look since, say, 2000, they've had waaaay fewer total busts in terms of pitching, when you look at the top 25. Beckett, Burnett, Sabathia, Sheets, Oswalt, Wainwright, Kazmir, Prior, Cain, King Felix, Verlander, Billingsley, Lincecum, Gallardo, Dice-K, Garza, Lester, Kershaw, all listed as top 25 pitchers at one point or another (there are still a good number of busts there too and yeesh how overhyped was Dice-K when he first came here). Still, I would not put my faith in pitching prospects. Just saying.

I survived a blackout!!!

For like three hours. THREE HOURS WITH NO COMPUTER!!!! NOOOO!!!!!!!! (I'm such a weirdo.)

oh, I saw Precious

Meh........ Mo'Nique was FANTASTIC though.

dork alert!

Derek Jeter's CAREER BABIP: .360!
By year since 1996: .361, .345, .375, .396, .386, .343, .336, .379, .315, .351, .391, .367, .333, .368

That's even better than Ichiro who I thought would be the king of this kind of thing, yeesh. The annoying thing about people waxing rhapsodic about Jeter's intangibles is that it takes away from how very, very good he is in a totally tangible way. Career 131 wRC+ from a shortstop, yes please.

oh, Posada

You do not enjoy (or as you say, "enyoy," that is adorable) Cervelli. You are terrified by him taking over. And I love that.

Posada <333

yaaayyyy

I found some intelligent Twitter person basically smacking down that one super condescending guy that went on about how Andy is teh suck now. Seriously, dude, I can look on Fangraphs too. His FIP went up, but he went from terribly underperforming his FIP in 2008 to pretty much hitting it in 2009 (as opposed to AJ Burnett, who very much overperformed his FIP in 2009). His BABIP... Andy tends to have a really high BABIP (it was .339 in 2008, .315 for his career), but it was actually pretty low last year, though not unsustainably so (.302). People swung at his pitches slightly less and made slightly better contact, but again: slightly. It's not OMG PANIC!!!!, really. The HRs were a little eeeek for a while there, but maybe he just learned how to pitch in YS better. And I wouldn't say it's a clear pattern, seeing how ridiculously good he was in the second half of the season.

so sue me

I love Kendra. I really want her and her husband to make it. The Kardashians, not so much.

fyi

I am sitting here drinking water and I just spit it all over my screen because I was reading some blog post where someone called the Angels the LAALLLOOAAALOA. DYINGGGGG

YAYYYYY

Knocked Up is on. Haven't seen this in so long.

Game 4 of the 1998 World Series was on earlier, and I gotta say...

There was this part where Jeter and Pettitte were like... whispering in each other's ears. It made me really happy. In my pants. Yeah.

Lady Gaga's music

Seriously improves the quality of my life.

busyyyy

Might not post so much for a little bit.

some quick thoughts on tonight's ANTM

- Raina, in person, is....... not as good as that original picture was. Yikes. She doesn't look like a high fashion Analeigh as much as she looks like a dude Analeigh.
- Angelea is still Angelea and I love her for it. She also looks a lot prettier this cycle, for whatever reason.
- Naduah is really stunning in person; I was very wrong about her not being able to carry off that bald look.
- Ugh I can't believe Ren doesn't shave her armpits.
- Double ugh Perez Hilton. Though he was sort of cute and charming. (vomits everywhere)

I was SO MAD that we didn't get a photoshoot. Booo!!!

oh. Oh, God.

Why are you showing me Andy Pettitte stretching, YES? Why must you torture me so?

this is a really fantastic post

On the 2009 Yankees' infield and its historical comparisons

Ignore the 0185028609846 asides, though. I kind of badly want to take a giant red pen and just cross out parts and write "MAKE MORE CONCISE!!!" all over it. But, whatever, it's an awesome piece.

oh god America's Next Top Model

I missed you. I missed you so much.

new Yankee Magazine on YES

Andy is the main interview. :D

Jon Heyman is dumb, part... a lot

Here you go.

Again, just for reference's sake, from 2009:

Top 10 AL WAR
1. Ben Zobrist 8.6
2. Joe Mauer 8.1
3. Derek Jeter 7.4
4. Evan Longoria 7.2
5. Chone Figgins 6.1
6. Franklin Gutierrez 5.9
7. Kevin Youkilis 5.7
8. Carl Crawford, Miguel Cabrera 5.5
9. Mark Teixeira, Dustin Pedroia 5.2
10. Ichiro Suzuki 5.1
IMO, this list is a little screwy and shows WAR's limitations. It really overvalues defense. I just don't buy that Figgins and Gutierrez were more valuable than Youkilis and Teixiera. I don't think Pedroia and Tex were similarly valuable. I definitely don't think Zobrist was more valuable than Mauer. But it's not AWFUL.

Top 10 NL WAR
1. Albert Pujols 8.5
2. Chase Utley 7.6
3. Hanley Ramirez 7.2
4. Ryan Zimmerman 7.1
5. Prince Fielder 6.8
6. Adrian Gonzalez 6.4
7. Troy Tulowitzki 5.4
8. Derrek Lee 5.3
9. Pablo Sandoval 5.2
10. Matt Kemp 5.0

Top 10 AL VORP
1. Joe Mauer
2. Derek Jeter
3. Ben Zobrist
4. Jason Bartlett
5. Adam Lind
6. Miguel Cabrera
7. Evan Longoria
8. Mark Teixiera
9. Kevin Youkilis
10. Shin-soo Choo

Top 10 NL VORP
1. Albert Pujols
2. Hanley Ramirez
3. Prince Fielder
4. Ryan Braun
5. Pablo Sandoval
6. Chase Utley
7. Troy Tulowitzki
8. Adrian Gonzalez
9. Ryan Zimmerman
10. Joey Votto

Without further ado...

Albert Pujols, Joe Mauer and Zack Greinke should be shoo-ins for the NL MVP, AL MVP and AL Cy Young awards, respectively.
Well at least he got that right.

Chris Carpenter gets the call here in a tight race for NL Cy Young, as he led that league in both winning percentage and ERA. Adam Wainwright and Tim Lincecum aren't terrible choices, either, but the goals, after all, are to win the greatest percentage of games and allow the fewest runs. That's Carpenter.
No. The goal is to be the best pitcher possible, which would generally lead to winning the greatest percentage of games and allowing the fewest runs, all other things being equal. You generally do that by striking out a lot of guys, not walking very many, and getting weak contact on the balls people do hit. This generally does not include yelling at your pathetic offense, "SCORE RUNS!!!" because pitchers have almost nothing to do with that.

Buuuut Carpenter wasn't a bad choice for the Cy Young. There wasn't a shoo-in like there was in the AL. I do like me some advanced stats, but I'm not one of those people that thinks ERA is a quaint stat from a bygone time. ERA is not perfect, but let's not pretend FIP is either.

Miguel Cabrera is omitted from my AL MVP ballot entirely because it's obvious he didn't care enough to give full effort. There is no excuse for a 6 a.m. bender when the pennant's on the line, never mind all the other shenanigans that went along with it.
He had a .942 OPS and a 142 OPS+. He was top ten in WAR and VORP. What he did toward the end of the season doesn't look good at all, and I actually do completely understand people not putting him on the ballot for that. But, and I know it's not sexy to say this, the games in April count the same as the games in late September. The Tigers had been in first place in the division since May 10. That's a pretty damn long stretch of dominance. You know who contributed to that dominance a whole hell of a lot? Their awesome 1B Miggy Cabrera.

Milwaukee's Prince Fielder had a terrific statistical season (.299, 46 homers and 141 RBIs) and will likely make a vast majority of NL MVP ballots, but the "most valuable'' part of the equation is weighed heavily here, as I don't believe players on also-ran teams should win the award.
WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Like what happened with Johan Santana last year, do you not realize how incredibly silly it is to penalize Fielder for something the other 24 guys on his team could or could not do? The Brewers' pitching staff had a collective 83 ERA+ in 2009. That's rancid. Their five main starters had the following ERA and IP totals:
Yovani Gallardo 3.73, 185.2 IP
Braden Looper 5.22, 194.2 IP
Jeff Suppan 5.29, 161.2 IP
Manny Parra 6.36, 140 IP
David Bush 6.38, 114.1 IP
AWFUL. In fact, it's kind of amazing they won any games at all, and were only two games under .500, with a pitching staff like that. You wanna know why they did? Because they had a pretty awesome, potent offense. Led by Prince Fielder and his line of .299/.412/.602/1.014, 168 OPS+.

I skipped stuff...

And remember, the postseason doesn't count.
I know that the postseason literally cannot count because the votes have to be in before the postseason. But the fact that the postseason doesn't count, but your team getting INTO the postseason is of UTTER IMPORTANCE, makes no sense.

1. Albert Pujols, Cardinals: Near-Triple Crown winner had it locked up by June.
Just... thank God he got this one right.

2. Troy Tulowitzki, Rockies: Spectacular talent could have won Comeback Player. Playoff failures don't count.
Tulo: ;_;
Also, Heyman's explanation for this is really bad. "He was really good, but he was really bad last year so he could have won Comeback Player. Also he failed in the playoffs."

3. Ryan Howard, Phillies: May actually be underrated.
No he is not. He's only been playing full-time since 2005, but he has a Rookie of the Year award, a MVP award (undeserved, but not a terrible choice) and a second-place finish in another year when he probably shouldn't have even been in the top ten. I love Ryan Howard, but he is not underrated. Chase Utley is not underrated any more, but he needs more MVP votes than Howard. If you want to call him underrated, I guess I wouldn't have a problem with it.

4. Andre Ethier, Dodgers: Six walk-off hits led league.
Melky Cabrera had three walk-off hits in 2009. Derek Jeter had none. Therefore, Melky Cabrera is a better player than Derek Jeter. Why didn't you vote for Melky Cabrera on your MVP ballot, Jon?!!??!?!

5. Hanley Ramirez, Marlins: Big-time talent earned wrath of teammate Dan Uggla for not playing through pain.
Another AWFUL explanation. "He's really talented. He got into a fight with a teammate one time." WTF??

I skipped stuff.

10. Matt Holliday, Cardinals: As soon as he got to St. Louis, the Cards took off.
He played 63 games. Aaaaghhhhh. At least you didn't vote him #1 or #2 like you did with Manny and Sabathia in 2008, I guess.

NL LVP (Least Valuable Player)
Milton Bradley, Cubs: Alfonso Soriano (20 HRs, 55 RBIs, .241) and Geovany Soto (positive test for pot, .218 batting average) were dreadful, as well. But Bradley was asked to leave the team for the final two weeks. Tough to top that.
Don't get me wrong, none of those guys were great, and Bradley probably did God only knows what in the clubhouse. But Milton Bradley's OPS+ was 99. Soriano's, 84. Soto, 79. Their teammate Mike Fontenot had an OPS+ of 72. So, technically, he was even less valuable than they were. Juuuust saying.

AL MVP

1. Joe Mauer, Twins: Led league in slugging percentage, on-base percentage and batting average as catcher. Runaway winner with Twins a playoff team.
Right. And he would have been the runaway winner if the Twins were in last place if he still posted the stats he did.

2. Mark Teixeira, Yankees: Monster first year in New York, leading the league in home runs (tied with Carlos Pena) and RBIs while manning first base like a Gold Glover.
I love Mark Teixeira and the whining and bitching by Yankee fans over him coming in second in the MVP voting (they weren't saying he should have won; they were saying he should have placed behind Jeter. I agree with this, but they were really, really, REALLY complaining about it. Omg STFU.), but he is a 1B batting third on the New York Yankees, ahead of guys that got on base a lot in 2009, generally Derek Jeter and Johnny Damon.

3. Kevin Youkilis, Red Sox: Feisty, versatile player personifies team.
*sigh*

I skipped stuff.

5. Alex Rodriguez, Yankees: Yanks came together when he joined them after hip surgery.

6. Derek Jeter, Yankees: Improved in every way at 35. Just remarkable.
This makes no sense. A-Rod is an insane player. Mark Teixeira rules. But Derek Jeter is a shortstop. Elite offense at the SS position is much more valuable than the offense of a first baseman.

7. Bobby Abreu, Angels: Mike Scioscia called him their MVP. (Though if Torii Hunter played a full year, Scioscia noted it might have been him.)
WELL IF SCIOSCIA SAYS IT IT MUST BE TRUE

8. Victor Martinez, Red Sox: Versatile hitter was Boston's best player down the stretch. Jason Bay also worthy.
I am a big fan of V-Mart and he did very well with the Red Sox, posting a 133 OPS+. Jason Bay did even better, with a 134 OPS+. And HE WAS THERE THE WHOLE YEAR. Remember how Boston was awesome early on and everyone said ZOMG TEH YANKEES ARE DEAD RED SOX RUUL? That was mainly due to Jason Bay having an insane April/March and May. He was mediocre at best in June and July, but awesome in August and September/October. Jason Bay deserves MVP votes way more than V-Mart.

Skipped stuff.

10. Justin Verlander, Tigers: He's in here for teammate Miguel Cabrera, who would have been third if not for his costly weekend bender, which showed he didn't care.
So basically you didn't put Miggy to spite him but you just put Verlander for shits and giggles? Okay, Jon.

NL Cy Young

1. Carpenter, Cardinals: ERA and winning percentage titles normally a winning combo for this award.

2. Wainwright, Cardinals: The league's top winner is one tough guy.

3. Tim Lincecum, Giants: Tiny Tim a threat to throw a no-hitter every time out.

All of these explanations are so terrible. I'm skipping his choice for "worst" (shocker, it's Brad Lidge), but I'll note he's still using that awful "Cy Old" joke. I'll skip AL MVP, as it's dumb and, once again, if you listed the following guys on your MVP list:
9. Sabathia
10. Verlander

your Cy Young list should not be:
1. Greinke
2. Felix
3. Halladay
I mean, that's a much more acceptable Cy ballot than one with CC in first, but if you think CC was the most valuable pitcher, why isn't he #1 on your Cy ballot?

Skipping stuff, including NL rookie of the year.

AL Rookie of the Year

1. Porcello, Tigers: Became rare 20-year-old to win at least 14 games (Dwight Gooden was another) and pitched beautifully in the deciding game at the Metrodome.
OH SHIT does this mean Porcello is going to get addicted to coke and be pretty much done by like... age 25? (his no-hitter ruled though. The story about it in Birth of a Dynasty, a terrific book which I highly recommend, made me cry like a little bitch.)

Plus, whipped Youkilis.
This is the best sentence in this entire article. (stands and applauds)

Skipped #2...

3. Andrew Bailey, A's: Big-time numbers, but let's face it: He's a closer on a loser.
Holy SHIT.

True story: I have actually met (outside of some meet-and-greet things) two MLB players. Neither were Yankees. One was Andrew Bailey (the other was Rocco Baldelli, who's a sweetheart. Because nobody reads this blog, I can openly say that I'm pretty friendly with the guy. As in I can send him an e-mail right now if I wanted to.). I was at a party with him one time, because one of my best friends goes to Wagner and so did he, and I was visiting her and we went to a party where he was. He's a cool guy, at least from the two or so hours I was in his presence. So I guess he's my boy and I gotta defend him. (He is less so my boy than Rick Porcello, just for the Youkilis beatdown, though.)

Anyway, Jon Heyman says "Fuck you Andrew Bailey. You had an outright nasty year - 83.1 IP, 86.7% SV conversion, 238 ERA+, 9.8 K/9, 3.79 K/BB, 0.876 WHIP - but YOU FUCKING SUCK because YOU CLOSE FOR A LOSER. You clearly should have stalked Brian Cashman and forced him to draft you, then use you to close over Mariano Rivera. Then you'd be on a winner, you loser."

Also, Jon, you know how "loser" teams become non-loser teams? Getting really good players. Like Andrew Bailey.

From AL Manager of the Year:
2. Ron Gardenhire, Twins: Got the $60 million team to the playoffs.
I think Gardenhire's a pretty good manager but it was IN THE AL CENTRAL. They would have been third in the AL West (with the fourth-place team back by only one game) and third in the AL East (and I'm not counting what would probably happen if the unbalanced schedule was going on and the "tough teams" the Twins would have to face 18 times each would be the Yankees and Red Sox, and even the Rays, compared to the Tigers and the White Sox). They wouldn't have won any other division, and they would have been in second in only one other one (NL Central, which has six teams, a whopping two of which were over .500). Heck, they would have been FOURTH IN THE NL WEST (though the unbalanced schedule would probably help them there). I mean, you have to work with the division you're in, but let's not bend over backwards to drool over Gardenhire.

Oh, and from the notes at the end:
Scioscia has been a New York serial killer in the postseason, Mike Vaccaro points out in Monday's Post.
ZOMG he beat them two times. His teams are 6-3 against the Yankees (now they are 8-7). He is a ~serial killer~ I am so scared of him!!!! He made the Yankee pitching vomit in 2002 and forced those guys to crash into each other in the outfield in 2005!

ice cream + 2:30 AM

always a solid choice.

so going back to that really bad article...

Yeah. Here it is.

Just for the record, from 2008:

AL WAR top 10
1. Dustin Pedroia 6.7
2. Grady Sizemore 6.4
3. Nick Markakis 6.3
4. Alex Rodriguez 6.0
5. Joe Mauer 5.8
6. Alex Rios, Kevin Youkilis 5.6
7. Evan Longoria 5.3
8. BJ Upton, Brian Roberts 4.8
9. Milton Bradley 4.6
10. Carlos Quentin 4.5
(pitchers that could be included: Roy Halladay 7.4, Cliff Lee 7.2, Ervin Santana 5.8, AJ Burnett 5.5 [!!!!!!], Mike Mussina 5.3, John Danks 5.2, John Lester 5.1, Josh Beckett 5.0, Zack Greinke 4.9, Javier Vazquez 4.8, Mark Buerhle 4.5. Can someone tell me how Andy Pettitte was worth more WAR in 2008 than 2009? That just seems weird and is one of those things that makes me go o_O about WAR.)

AL VORP top 10
1. Alex Rodriguez
2. Dustin Pedroia
3. Grady Sizemore
4. Josh Hamilton
5. Milton Bradley
6. Joe Mauer
7. Aubrey Huff
8. Ian Kinsler
9. Kevin Youkilis
10. Carlos Quentin

NL WAR top 10
1. Albert Pujols 9.0
2. Chase Utley 8.1
3. Chipper Jones 7.7
4. David Wright 7.4
5. Hanley Ramirez 7.3
6. Lance Berkman 6.9
7. Carlos Beltran 6.7
8. Matt Holliday 6.3
9. Jose Reyes 5.9
10. Ryan Ludwick, Brian McCann 5.7
(pitchers that could be included: Tim Lincecum 7.5, Dan Haren 6.5, Brandon Webb 6.1)

NL VORP top 10
1. Albert Pujols
2. Hanley Ramirez
3. Chipper Jones
4. Lance Berkman
5. David Wright
6. Chase Utley
7. Jose Reyes
8. Matt Holliday
9. Carlos Beltran
10. Ryan Ludwick

These stats are not perfect, but they're the best we have. Oh, and just as a disclaimer, I don't think pitchers should win the MVP (especially relief pitchers). DEAL WITH IT, YO.

In the National League MVP vote, which should be fascinating, the question the voters will have to ask themselves is whether two players who came to the party late can qualify for that coveted seasonal honor.

That is, was a half season of CC Sabathia's dominance and heroics enough to carry him to this year's award? And was less than half a season plenty for that savant turned savior, Manny Ramirez?
No. And no. It wasn't even a half-season, dude. More like a third of a season.

My answer is an enthusiastic yes to both questions.
Wrong answer.

Both candidates are deserving. I don't care that they were late arrivers to the National League this season.
Well, um, you should.

Sabathia (11-2, 1.65 ERA in 17 starts for Milwaukee) and Ramirez (.396, 17 homers, 53 RBIs in 53 games with L.A.) easily made the biggest impacts.
No they didn't. They made the flashiest impacts because they came over late and made contending teams better. You know who made the biggest impacts? The guys who were awesome with their team for the entire year, even if they were on teams that didn't necessarily make the playoffs.

Ryan Howard still looks like the probable winner to me, as he had a big finish and bigger numbers (48 homers, 146 RBIs), which will sway a majority of voters. But just like Ramirez and Sabathia, Howard did almost all his real work over the final few months of the season.

Howard's season stats are larger. But the performances of Ramirez and Sabathia are more remarkable.
None of those guys deserve the MVP. Manny played in 53 games out of 162. CC, 17. Ryan Howard wasn't bad or anything, but he posted his career-low OPS and OPS+ (unless you're counting his 42 PA in 2004, which I am not) of .881 and 124. In today's game, for a 1B, those are generally not MVP numbers.

Also, "Howard did almost all his real work over the final few months of the season"? Sure, he had a .954 OPS in the second half, compared to a .832 OPS in the first. And he had an awesome 1.247 OPS in September/October. But his OPS in August was .791. Not too spectacular.

Johan Santana (16-7, league-leading 2.53 ERA) would be there right at the top of my MVP ballot, too, if not for the Mets' second straight last-minute failure. But thanks to the ineptitude of teammates, Santana's not going to win the MVP.
WHAT? Do you not realize how that doesn't make any sense, to penalize Johan for what the other 24 guys on the roster could or could not do? On the second-to-last day of the season, with the Mets facing elimination, Johan threw a complete game three-hit shutout. That's really fucking impressive. He had a 1.87 ERA in October and September. The Mets' "collapse" (not really, at least not to 2007 standards) was not, AT ALL, due to Johan.

I'm skipping some stuff here.

The AL races don't hold the same sort of allure. Cliff Lee wrapped up the Cy Young by August. As for MVP, no one really stands out among the candidates I keep hearing about.
Oh boo hoo for you, Heyman. It's only your job, for which you get paid a whole heck of a lot more money than I do, to look at these arguments and various stats and come up with a reasonable ballot. You did not. Therefore, I throw things at you from my mother's basement.

With that in mind, I'll take the only AL player who truly had a spectacular season for a contending team. I might be the only one perhaps making this call.
I don't have a very good feeling about this. Just please don't make him say "I'm voting for Derek Jeter" (keep in mind, this is 2008) because I hate it when people make me talk about Derek Jeter's deficiencies waaah.

But without even one truly special or MVP-worthy performance among starting pitchers or starting players on any of the contending AL clubs, I'll take K-Rod for MVP.
WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN...

Here are my full theoretical ballots (since I left the newspaper game, they don't trust me with a real ballot anymore)...
There's a good goddamn reason for that.

NL MVP

1. Manny Ramirez, Dodgers. The savant saved the storied franchise, slugging .743 and lifting the Dodger dogs to the NL West title.
You know, if Arizona had a huge lead in the division when Manny arrived, and then the Dodgers went on a crazy hot streak that gave them the title, I could almost buy this argument. But even then, there would be other factors, not just Manny, I suspect. Also, "saved the storied franchise," WTF?

To be fair to Manny, his performance while wearing Dodger blue in 2008 - .396/.489/.743/1.232, 221 OPS+ - was completely goddamn insane. It was up there with some of Barry Bonds' most crazy years. However, Manny compiled that line in only 53 games. That's about a third of the games the Dodgers played. Arizona was 56-52 before Manny came to the NL West; the Dodgers were 54-54. It wasn't like Arizona was some megasuperuberpowerhouse and the Dodgers were... well... I was going to make some "fighting to crack .500" joke but then I realized that was actually the case, but you know what I mean. In the 53 games Manny played, the Dodgers gained a whole four games on the Diamondbacks to win the division by two games. Don't get me wrong: Manny certainly helped. But if the Dodger pitching pooped out like Dan Haren sort of did (2.62 ERA, .585 OPS against before Manny came to the NL West; 4.87 ERA, .827 OPS against after Manny came to the NL West. Oh and I checked in case you were suggesting those bad numbers were due to facing Manny like every game, he only faced the Manny Dodgers twice. One time Manny beat him up. The other time Manny didn't get a hit), they wouldn't have won that division.

2. CC Sabathia, Brewers. Carried them with three straight outings on three days' rest, and oh yes, had a league-leading seven complete games.
Again, I'm not trying to belittle what CC did for Milwaukee. He was awesome. He started 17 games and pitched 130.2 innings. That means he pitched an average of over seven and two-thirds innings per game. He had a 255 ERA+ in the NL and a ridiculous 5.12 K/BB ratio. He ruled. They probably would not have won the Wild Card without him. But they also probably would not have won the Wild Card without Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun and their 130 OPS+es that played in a whole hell of a lot more games than CC did. Ben Sheets had a 3.09 ERA and 31 starts. Again, I don't think pitchers deserve the MVP, but if I did, I'd think that Ben Sheets and his quiet excellence all year was probably worth more than CC's ridiculous awesomeness for a third of the season.

3. Ryan Howard, Phillies. Huge September (.352, 11 HRs) probably will get him the award.
Thank goodness it did not. He wasn't top ten in WAR, WARP, or even OPS. No way he deserves this. Other 1B were better choices than him. Other Phillies were better choices than him.

4. Brad Lidge, Phillies. Second perfect season for a closer ever. That's 41 for 41 in a park that was supposed to be tough on him.
He had a great season, but he also affected only 69.1 (69, hee hee!) innings. This guy is not one of the Phillies that was a better choice for MVP than Ryan Howard, by the way.

5. Albert Pujols, Cardinals. Kept the Cardinals in the hunt with .357 average despite a banged-up elbow.
Firs things first, batting average is one of the more useless stats. Ichiro hit .352 in 2009 and it was a whole hell of a lot different than Albert's .357 in 2008 (Ichiro walked 47 times including IBBs, and hit 46 XBH. Albert in 2008 walked 138 times in fewer PA and hit 81 XBH. But hey, they're both good contact hitters, so that's that!). Anyway, Pujols was the #1 with-a-bullet choice for MVP in 2008. There was really no other choice. A WAR of 9 is ridiculous and he led in every other advanced stat. He led the league in OPS and OPS+ by quite a bit. Thank God he actually won.

Skipping stuff.

9. Chase Utley, Phillies. Huge start still counts.
I just looked at Utley's splits for 2008, so I didn't realize the difference between his first half and second half (.955 OPS in the first, .855 OPS in the second), which was fairly stark. But still, the whole year counts, you know. He had a .915 OPS and a 135 OPS+, better numbers than Ryan Howard's, as a second baseman, while playing elite defense, on a team that was in a relatively tight division race. He was generally toward the top of most more advanced stats' lists of the best players in baseball and certainly in the NL. Again, Pujols was the only real choice for #1, but it's insane how underrated Utley has been in the MVP voting these past few years.

10. Lance Berkman, Astros. Houston was just a little too late to the party.
You suck, Lance Berkman. You - yes, you, personally - gave the team a situation where they had to use three catchers with these beautiful lines:
.218/.303/.296(!!!!)/.600 (Brad Ausmus)
.226/.270/.298/.567 (Humberto Quintero)
.137/.250/.253/.503 (JR Towles)
Yes, it is your fault that you gave these guys, respectively, 250, 183, and 161 PA. You also kept Michael Bourn and his .588 OPS in the lineup, too. And it's your fault that the starting pitching was either seriously injured (Wandy Rodriguez) or awful (everyone else) aside from Roy Oswalt. Like, seriously, why didn't you keep Roger Clemens on the crazy steroids he was on and force Andy Pettitte at gunpoint to repeat his year from 2005, and then re-sign both those guys? I repeat: YOU SUCK, LANCE BERKMAN.

NL LVP: Andruw Jones, Dodgers. He hit .158. What can you say? The worst ever. And at $18 million, no less. The anti-Manny.
I just wanted to repeat this so we can all goggle at Andruw's 2008 line:
.158/.256/.249/.505, 35 OPS+, 40 wRC+
That is SOME BAD. But according to Fangraphs, he was worth -0.9 WAR. Granted, this was probably helped by the fact that he was held to only 238 PA. But Jeff Francoeur was EVEN WORSE, at a robust -1.2 WAR.

AL MVP

1. Francisco Rodriguez, Angels. An alltime great season with a record 62 saves.
What. What. WHAT.

This was the entire thing that made me want to write this damn article, because it is so incredibly wrong. I don't think pitchers deserve the MVP. I really don't think relief pitchers deserve the MVP. But maybe you do. That's fine. I can understand that. It's the "alltime great season" that absolutely KILLS me here.
K-Rod, 2008: 62/69 SV (89.8%), 68.1 IP, 2.24 ERA, 198 ERA+, 10.1 K/9, 4.5 BB/9, 2.26 K/BB, 1.288 WHIP
Mariano Rivera, 2008: 39/40 SV (97.5%), 70.2 IP, 1.40 ERA, 317 ERA+, 9.8 K/9, 0.8 BB/9, 12.83 K/BB, 0.665 WHIP
Joakim Soria, 2008: 42/45 SV (93.3%), 67.1 IP, 1.60 ERA, 272 ERA+, 8.8 K/9, 2.5 BB/9, 3.47 K/BB, 0.861 WHIP
Joe Nathan, 2008: 39/45 SV (86.7%), 67.2 IP, 1.33 ERA, 314 ERA+, 9.8 K/9, 2.4 BB/9, 4.11 K/BB, 0.901 WHIP

So that's not only one, not only two, but three guys that had better seasons in 2008 alone than K-Rod. K-Rod had a pretty good year, don't get me wrong. But those guys were just... better.

K-Rod's 2008 was really, really not an "alltime great season." Look at Rollie Fingers' 1981 or Dennis Eckersley's 1990 (606 ERA+, 0.614 WHIP, 18.25 K/BB. Lol.). Heck, look at Mariano Rivera's 2008. K-Rod had a pretty damn good year, but it's not even close to an "alltime great" when you stop being a slave to the silly save stat.

I skipped stuff.

3. Dustin Pedroia, Red Sox. The "jockey'' may actually win it with a scrappy attitude and solid stats (118 runs, 54 doubles).
Pedroia was a solid choice for MVP. My fellow Yankee fans like to mock this choice, but it really wasn't bad at all. I probably would have given it to Grady Sizemore, but let's not pretend it was Colon getting the Cy Young in 2005. In a year when there was no real obvious winner in the AL, they gave it to a really good player at a premium position on a playoff team. He led the AL in WAR, though it wasn't overwhelming. But "runs" are more a function of the team's ability than Dustin himself. Pedey's OBP in 2008 was a pretty darn good .376. He was also lucky enough to be on the Red Sox. Put him on the Royals, and he's scoring a lot fewer runs.

4. Justin Morneau, Twins. Without him and his 129 RBIs, what does that lineup look like?
It's kind of funny that you say this, Jon, because without guys like Mauer and Span getting on base before Morneau, he wouldn't have had the opportunity to get those RBIs. Also, please see the thing about Mauer that I wrote later here.

5. Kevin Youkilis, Red Sox. The Red Sox campaign is for Pedroia, but this guy is just as pesky (.569 slugging, 115 RBIs).
Must all Red Sox be described as "pesky" or "scrappy" or "gritty"? Really? Can we just stop this bullshit? Also, I'm not sure a guy with a .569 SLG can really be called "pesky" as much as "super powerful."

6. Joe Nathan, Twins. Another great, underappreciated Twins star.
Who's a relief pitcher.

7. Joe Mauer, Twins. Great two-way catcher who won another batting title (.330) and is easily the best in his business.
Justin Morneau, 2008: .300/.374/.499/.873, 134 OPS+, 129 wRC+, 3.5 WAR
By comparison, remember how Derek Jeter ZOMGSUCKEDHESDONE in 2008? 3.7 WAR. Boom.
Joe Mauer, 2008: .328/.413/.451/.864, 134 OPS+, 135 wRC+, 5.8 WAR
Morneau is a first baseman. Mauer is a catcher. There is no reason why Mauer should have been lower than Morneau on anyone's 2008 ballot. None. (or the 2009 ballot but thank God that didn't happen with anyone)

8. Jermaine Dye, White Sox. Unnoticed star had a nice season.
How can you be "unnoticed" and a "star"?

9. Josh Hamilton, Rangers. As talented as anyone playing, including A-Rod, and 130 RBIs doesn't hurt his cause.
The dig at A-Rod is because...? And the RBIs are a testament to his team's ability to get on base ahead of him more than his ability to hit. Though he is a very, very, very good hitter. .304/.371/.530/.901 134 OPS+ CFs don't exactly grow on trees. He didn't do that great according to WAR but apparently he was an abysmal fielder, so yeah.

Skipped #10 (it was Longo).

AL LVP: Richie Sexson, Mariners, Yankees. Hit .221 overall and was absolutely terrible on both coasts.
Fun fact: I completely forgot Richie Sexson was ever a Yankee. Probably because he had 35 PA. Anyway, in that tiny sample size, he had a .764 OPS for a 101 OPS+. That's not a world-killer. However, it is (very) slightly above average. Which would generally qualify as not "absolutely terrible."


NL Cy Young
1. Santana. Gets edge over CC for ERA title and for being in the NL all year.

2. Sabathia. Sheer second-half dominance.
This makes no goddamn sense. How can you choose Sabathia as your #2 on the MVP (with no other pitcher above him), and then NOT have him #1 on the Cy Young? I don't think he should have gotten either of those, but Heyman's irrationality annoys me.

Also, Ben Sheets sheds a single tear.

3. Lidge. Though tough to leave out Webb and especially Lincecum (18-5, with a league-leading 265 strikeouts) in this year with at least five deserving candidates.
Okay. You could explain why you chose Lidge. He had an awesome year. But he was a relief pitcher. It is insanity to leave off Lincecum, Webb, and Haren, among others, for Lidge.

NL Cy Old:
Oh my God that is the worst pun ever.

Tom Gorzelanny. Ugliest numbers ever, including a demonic 6.66 ERA.
I'm not going to look it up, but I am willing to bet that they are not the ~UGLIEST NUMBERS EVER~.

AL Cy Young
1. Cliff Lee, Indians. Once-in-a-decade type season for this reclamation project (22-3, 2.54 ERA).
I know three years is forever in baseball, but he was only three years removed from finishing fourth in the 2005 Cy Young voting (Jesus, the 2005 Cy Young voting was a hot freaking mess. Bartolo Colon winning was the worst of it, but Mariano getting more votes and more than twice as many first place votes than Johan Santana? Buerhle, Garland, and Millwood getting mega-screwed?).

2. Roy Halladay, Blue Jays. The one pitcher in the league who can complete what he starts (nine complete games).
Any other explanation? No? Oh cool.

3. Francisco Rodriguez. Now holds the alltime saves record.
a. This is the worst explanation ever and not a reason to give someone the Cy Young. Also, it's not even right. Trevor Hoffman has the alltime saves record. (I know what he means. I'm just being picky and whiny.)
b. Again, Jon, you're doing the illogical thing. You can't have K-Rod be your #1 MVP and then only your #3 on your Cy Young ballot. That doesn't make any sense.

AL Cy Old:
That pun still pisses me off. Anyway, I'm skipping his choice (it was the D-Train) and I skipped his ROY selection, though I'm sure they were all dumb (eh, at least he didn't vote for Ellsbury over Longoria. That's something, right?).

NL Manager of the Year

1. Lou Piniella, Cubs. Changed the climate; new moniker should be lovable winners.
Yeahhh maybe not so much. Of course, it's always easy to look dumb in retrospect, but after the postseason and 2009, this is just wrong.

2. Joe Torre, Dodgers. Getting the last laugh from a distance.
Joe Girardi's Yankees, 2008: 89-73
other teams in the AL East: 97-65, 95-67, 86-76, 68-93
Joe Torre's Dodgers, 2008: 84-78
other teams in the NL West: 82-80, 74-88, 72-90, 63-99
Four of the teams in the 2008 AL East would have outright won the NL West. Four. And that's not even including the fact that if you moved them to the NL West, they'd get to beat up on the weak-ass NL West teams as opposed to facing each other over and over again.

3. Charlie Manuel, Phillies. Had the guts to bench Jimmy Rollins -- twice.
WTF? That's not a reason to vote for anyone.

NL Worst Manager: Bobby Cox, Braves. Finally won a one-run game on road, though.
Does this make any sense to anyone? Yeah, stupid Bobby Cox, you forced your GM to trade Mark Teixeira and his 137 OPS+ with Atlanta for Casey Kotchman and his 73 OPS+ with Atlanta! You also gave the team a pretty meh closer who gets hurt a lot! Boooo! I'm pretty sure Bobby Cox absolutely proves that managers are, generally, only as good as the teams they're given. Give him a team with a pretty good offense and an all-time great pitching staff and of course he'll make the playoffs a bunch of times. Doesn't mean he's a genius. Give him a sucky team and it'll suck. Doesn't mean he's a dumbass. No amount of coaching can make Casey Kotchman Mark Teixeira.

AL Manager of the Year

1. Joe Maddon, Rays. Brilliant performance by the Renaissance manager.
No quibble here.

2. Ron Gardenhire, Twins. Twins lost Santana, Torii Hunter and Matt Garza and got better.
Buuuuut probably not as good as they would have been with those guys, you know?

3. Mike Scioscia, Angels. Best in the game, year in and year out.
a. ew
b. if he's the "best in the game" why isn't he #1?

AL Worst Manager: Jim Leyland, Tigers. Got almost nothing out of what seemed like something.
I guess I should just be happy this isn't Girardi, huh?

NL Executive of the Year

1. Jim Hendry, Cubs. Built by far the best team in the NL.

2. Pat Gillick, Phillies. Lidge deal made the difference in the East.
These are two comments that are HILARIOUS in retrospect. I'm skipping stuff, so...

AL Executive of the Year

1. Andrew Friedman, Rays. Turned perennial laughingstock into Yankees/Red Sox slayer.
Not disagreeing with this (and I know what he means), I'm just gently pointing out that the TOTAL FAILURE OMG THEY SUCK SO MUCH 2008 New York Yankees were 11-7 against the 2008 Rays.

The rest of it is pretty banal but oooh, Heyman did one of these for 2009 too. I'll get to that goodness tomorrow (well, later today)

Joe Nathan

I know the guy's not dead and he's made $29.5M in a ten-year career as a relief pitcher - really not too damn shabby - but this news is really sad. I had no idea he was 35; I thought he was like 31 at the MOST. If he needs surgery, that really might be it for him. It's just scary that such an awesome career can come to an end so quickly.

(Thank you, God, for Mariano Rivera.)

sometimes, sports writing is so dumb I must make fun of it over a year later.

I will get back to this tonight but for now: HOLY CRAP THIS IS AWFUL!

eek

Watching it now, the video for "Lady Marmalade" (the Pink/Christina Aguilera version) is totally freaky and kind of scares me.

hottie vs. hottie

Mark Teixeira's line versus Andy Pettitte:
.478/.519/.609/1.127
The weird thing is that he has no home runs against him and only three doubles (compared to, say, his seven strikeouts). I dunno, I just think it's interesting. By comparison, A-Rod hits just .214 against Andy... but he's got five home runs against him.

ughhhh

my nose is all swollen. THIS SUCKS.

aaagh wtfffff

there are like two pimples rising on both sides of my nose. SO ANNOYING.

paaaaain

is watching the E! Fashion Police just to see the outfits from the Oscars.

I can't stand Joan Rivers but she has a faaabulous sparkly jacket that I covet very very very much.

my thoughts on Oscar dresses (because that's all that really matters)

Only Sandra Bullock and Cameron Diaz looked really great. It was a nice of blah. Kristen Stewart looked okay, but she looks so miserable and hunched-over all the time and this annoys me.

Tina Fey's dress was really unflattering.

Sarah Jessica Parker was a mess. Unflattering and ugly.

Charlize Theron's dress had boob flowers. WTF?

Vera Farmiga looked like she was getting attacked by a giant red tapeworm. Some bad. I can't believe that was Marchesa. ;_;

Meryl Streep's outfit was sort of boxy and unflattering. :(

Miley Cyrus looked absolutely terrible.

Zoe Saldana had a weird dress but you know what? Bitch pulled it off. And it was SPARKLY!

Penelope Cruz = meh

Kate Winslet = meh (NOOOO!!!!)

Diane Kruger = WTF?

Anna Kendrick and Amanda Seyfried competed for the TOTALLY BLAH award. I have not decided who the winner is. I guess Seyfried, because she is pretty blah in general and Anna ruled in Up in the Air.

I was bored.

A while ago, MLB Network did their "Prime 9" World Series. So I decided to do mine. Keep in mind, I have not seen all of these... like, there's no way I could have seen 1912, obviously.

9. 1996 (hey homer pick)
8. 1997
7. 1924
6. 1960
5. 2001
4. 1975
3. 1986
2. 1912
1. 1991

The top five are all pretty awesome and interchangeable (well 2001 was not awesome but you know what I mean).

highly amused

There's something pretty funny about Keith Olbermann talking about Andyyyyy.

from an article about Dustin Pedroia

It's from ESPN Boston which ew so I will not link, but here you go:

It gets even better. Run Pedroia’s numbers against 25-year-olds regardless of position, and you’ll generate a list of some of the best players in the game: Hanley Ramirez, Miguel Cabrera, David Wright, Albert Pujols, Vladimir Guerrero and Derek Jeter.

Um, through age 25 seasons:
Hanley Ramirez 138 OPS+ (best year: 148 OPS+)
Miguel Cabrera 140 OPS+ (best year: 159 OPS+)
David Wright 139 OPS+ (best year: 149 OPS+)
Albert Pujols 167 OPS+ (best year: 187 OPS+. Just for fun, worst year: 151 OPS+.)
Vladimir Guerrero 146 OPS+ (best year: 162 OPS+)
Derek Jeter 121 OPS+ (best year: 153 OPS+)

Dustin Pedroia 111 OPS+ (best year: 122 OPS+)

Other than maaaaybe Jeter, WTF kind of numbers are you using there?!?!

I giggled.

Apparently Mo said he felt "delicious" after his bullpen session today. Hee!

ROID RAGE??? (I am kidding. I hope)

When the Yankees signed Teixeira, I knew he was an excellent player and I primarily remembered him for that grand slam off of Edwar Ramirez but more so... this. It was from 2006 and I still remembered seeing it, and hey, I finally found the video of it!!

Woooo!

Look what I found. :)

I know this happens after every Oscars but...

Jesus Christ, people, what the hell did Avatar and Sandra Bullock do to you personally?

WOW

How did I have no idea that Kathryn Bigelow was James Cameron's ex-wife?!


Also, Sofia Coppola says "Whatever bitch, that shit was mine."

zzzzz

Well that was boring.

Whatever, I'm just HAPPY I GOT TO SEE THEM!!!!

OMGGGG

Just in case any of you cared, ABC came back just in time for the Oscars!!!!

Unfortunately, they've been REALLY boring. zzzzzz But whatever, OSCARS!!!!

it's Andy Day (sort of)

Pettitte makes headway after sim game

and I quote:

Especially, at my age, I'm happy at 9 o'clock in the morning to be able to get
it going.

You know, I could, um, help him with that...

(also, some of the news articles on the side make me want to facepalm. IT'S SPRING TRAINING! No, I never like the Yankees losing. BUT IT'S SPRING TRAINING!!!!)

I literally screamed "motherfucker!" out loud

ABC officially went off the air because Cablevision consists of a bunch of whiny babies apparently.

I SWEAR TO GOD IF I MISS THE OSCARS, I SWEAR...

(And Blogger got me with the "conflicting edits!" bullshit again. No, I can't just press the back button because your stupid-ass thing doesn't save the text in the body of the post!!!! I have to go all the way back to blogger.com and look at it there. AAAGHHHH)

re-watching No Reservations

So what's the point of the guy in CZJ's building that has an obvious crush on her? And did anyone else think that guy was gonna go crazy and turn into an axe murderer at the end of the movie? Just me, because I'm a weirdo? Okay then.

(PS. Fuck the "conflicting edits" shit on Blogger. It's gotten me like five times in a row now.)

I voluntarily stayed in on a Saturday night

I am so cool. And still tired from last night aaaagh.

Anyway, I was reading some article and I was reminded of how dumb pitcher wins are. A lot of times, there's a very, very strong candidate for the HOF who never had a MAGICAL TWENTY-WIN SEASON so this disqualifies them for the HOF. Whenever people point out that pitcher wins are a really silly stat, the dumb writer usually responds to their point with "Oh, I wasn't aware that you didn't have to win games to get into the playoffs." Yeah, that's team wins. Pitcher wins don't mean that much.

Let's look at the last four dudes to win 20 games, all from 2008 since no one did it in 2009:
Roy Halladay TOR
Cliff Lee CLE
Mike Mussina NYY
Brandon Webb ARI
Now don't get me wrong, those four guys had excellent years. The way today's game is, I don't think you could be bad, or even league-average, but on a fantastic team, and win 20 games. It's not that simple. But let's face it, you're probably a really good pitcher or at least one that had a fantastic year if you win 19, 18, or 17 games, too. Why this arbitrary "20 games" thing? But anyway.

But the more important point: now, what did all these guys' teams have in common? Oh that's right, they didn't make the playoffs in that year. These guys got an elite number of individual wins but they couldn't carry their teams into the playoffs, because the 24 other guys on the roster weren't good enough that year to take them there. And that's that.

I just watched The Hurt Locker

Am I the only one who didn't JIMP over it? Maybe that's just because I completely hate war movies. Like, completely.

I wouldn't mind giving the Oscar to THE LADY! though. It was really well-done, it just couldn't capture my attention at all.

ooof

Nothing like sleep, a warm shower, and orange juice, huh?

sooo druuuuuuuuuuuunkk

whyyyy si nothgin on tv?

OSCAR PREDIX!!!!!

If I even get to see the Oscars this year, motherfuckers on Cablevision or whatever it is.

Best Picture: Avatar (alt. The Hurt Locker)
Best Director: THE LADY (alt. James Cameron)
Best Actor: Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart (alt. George Clooney, Up in the Air)
Best Actress: Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side (alt. Meryl Streep, Julie and Julia)
Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz, Inglorious Bastards (alt. no one needed. But Harrelson)
Best Supporting Actress: Mo'Nique, Precious (alt. no one needed. But Gyllenhaal)
Best Original Screenplay: Inglorious Bastards (alt. The Hurt Locker)
Best Adapted Screenplay: Up in the Air (alt. Precious)
Best Animated Feature: Up (alt. none needed)
Best Foreign Film: The White Ribbon (alt. Un Prophete)


Sadly, I don't care or know enough about the other categories this year to make a prediction. Is there a movie that's really pretty? It'll win Cinematography. Is there a movie with lots of period costumes? It'll win Best Costumes. Is there a movie that made you feel like throwing up when you saw it because of the weird camera angles and whatnot? It'll win Best Editing.

it runs in the family

My mom came in during the middle of that Andy interview on WFAN (that was being played on YES, so you could see him being interviewed) and commented on how big his hands are.

I basically had to control myself from screaming out "YES!!!!"

Andy Pettitte has HUGE hands.

*drool*

juuust wanted to say

It Is High, It Is Far, It Is... Caught is the worst Yankee blog in perhaps the entire universe. Jesus Christ they have a whole bunch of sand in their vagina. They whine more than I DO.

ZOMG. THE YANKEES HAVE A LOSING RECORD IN ST.

FIRE EVERYONE!!!!!

Meanwhile, Lester could barely get out of the first inning in the Red Sox's first ST game and gave up four runs in one inning. Are Red Sox fans saying Lester is OMG DONE BUST DFA HIM WORST PITCHING COACH EVAHHHH? No. Because Red Sox fans actually seem to have more perspective than Yankee fans when it comes to IT BEING SPRING FUCKING TRAINING, which hurts me to say.

oh, crap!

I still need to do my Oscar predictions. Later, though.

Hey, Tino Martinez's commentary doesn't make me want to shoot myself when he's in the YES booth!!!

AHHHHHHHH

That episode ruled. Jim and Pam 4-eva y'all.

oh shit!!

Andy just said "it's a date!" to Erin. ZOMG THEY STOLE JIM AND PAM'S SPECIAL WORDS!!!!! /every Office board I read'd

in the middle of watching The Office's baby episode so I need to hurry to get this thought out!!!

I just saw a preview for Hot Tub Time Machine (...yeah.) where they go back in time to... 1986. Holy shit, is that like "a long time ago" now? Because that's when I was born. YIKES.

HOLY mother of...

(on his Sports Illustrated cover for Sportsman of the Year)

Kim Jones: Derek, were you really standing outside of Yankee Stadium in full uniform?
Derek Jeter: No, I was actually naked and they photo shopped the uniform later.

Yes, this conversation actually happened. Whoah...

REALLY EXCITED.

The Yankees won their ST game, on a walk-off home run to boot!

Tomorrow: The Office baby!!!!

baseball is here. celebrate!

Hey Coney, why don't you have a dance?

ughhh MLB Network

First things first: you are SO much better than ESPN, so there's that. That said, how can you "disagree" with Ichiro's OPS? IT'S FIXED NUMBERS. You can disagree on how to interpret it. But you can't say "no I do not agree that Ichiro had a (whatever) OPS!" like HAROLD REYNOLDS.

Anyway, this is what MLB Network is like.

Tom Verducci and/or someone else intelligent: Ichiro's OPS was .851.
Harold Reynolds: But you can't look at that. OPS is for guys that get on base. Ichiro's job is to get on base. (he actually said this) Blah blah blah clog the bases, blah blah blah.

I think I love Tom Verducci because he pointed out that unless Ichiro is hitting .340 or .350 (which he does frequently, so credit to him), he's not that great because he rarely walks and he doesn't hit for power which, with his speed, is pretty unimpressive. He should at least leg out some doubles or something.

Unrelated to the above point other than general frustration, but a few days ago, in their "MLB By the Numbers" segment they showed the active leaders in walks. The leaders included Tim Wakefield, Jamie Moyer, John Smoltz, and Andy Pettitte. GAHHH do you not realize that these guys have so many walks in their career because they've been pitching (and they've been starting pitchers) for so freaking long?! You can't present those numbers without context. None of these guys have particularly terrible walk rates and they have solid K/BB ratios. GAH!

heh.

So I was watching something Yankee-related (OMG YANKEE BASEBALL TODAY GUYS!!!!) and hahaha, during that moment in the 2003 ALCS when Pedro and Jorge were doing that whole head-pointing/bring-it-on thing, Pettitte was totally in the background, looking like OH GOD WHY AM I ALWAYS IN THESE FIGHTS WITH THESE CRAZY PEOPLE LIKE GEORGIE AND GRAEME LLOYD? PLEASE HELP MEEEEE

I'll help you, Andy.

lawl

I'm watching the overview of the Yankees' 1999 run and I love how, for Game 1, the Braves were like "oh no, Tom Glavine is sick!!! All we have is Greg Maddux!!!"

Seriously, how the hell did we beat those guys twice? 1999, fine. The 1999 Yankees were siiiick. The 1996 Yankees? They should have just been happy to be there.

HOLY SHIT. AMAZING.

Sometimes I love NoMaas.

13 is my choice, BTW.

Gammons.............

Seriously...?

BJ Upton: has actually played in MLB, not just a prospect
Delmon Young: has actually played in MLB, not just a prospect
Jose Iglesias: HAS NOT ACTUALLY PLAYED IN MLB, IS JUST A PROSPECT

But he's a Red Sox prospect, loves Dustin Pedroia, and Terry Francona said nice things about him so you know.

On the other side of Fort Myers at Red Sox camp, all those New Englanders who make their way around the dust of the Minor League complex quickly learned to dream about José Iglesias, the 20-year-old Cuban refugee shortstop with the hands of future Hall of Famer Omar Vizquel and the energy of Dustin Pedroia.

SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I'm just shocked he said the Rays are the most athletic team in the AL East and wasn't just like "redsoxredsoxredsox!!!"

Also WTF @ the headlines on the side. "Phenom [Strasburg] dominates in BP." IT'S SPRING TRAINING BP, CAN WE KEEP IT IN OUR PANTS FOR NOW????

blergh.

Ken Burns' Baseball: The Tenth Inning is just gonna be a 2004 Red Sox love fest with absolutely no mention of how awesome the Yankees were during the years he covers, isn't it?

uh oh

Please let me see the Oscars please please please.

O_O

following the end of the Mets/Braves game (hey the Mets won!), I turned on whatever Yankees Classics game was on. It's a game against the Rangers from 2006 (seriously, Mo, giving up a go-ahead hit to Rod Barajas? :( But yaaaaay, Jorge!!!!!), when the Yankees came back from an early 9-0 deficit. I don't like seeing games where Yankee pitching pukes all over the place (like the HE DROPPED THE BALL game), but I do love huge comebacks.

Anyway, the first thing I see when I put it on? Teixeira (who was still on the Rangers) making an error. And then letting a ball get away from him. I don't want to live in this scary world.

Did A-Rod just get booed? Sometimes I hate my fellow Yankee fans

BASEBALL!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So far SNY has:
1. shown an Andy montage which I appreciated very much. Fuuuck. Show it again!
2. said Jenrry Mejia is comparable to Mariano.
3. talked about how this year is soooo much different than last year for the Mets.
4. JOSE REYES JOSE REYES JOSE REYES

Yo fat guy with a big bald head on SNY, you should not be doing baseball analysis. Yes, you, guy who said Javier Vazquez makes the 2010 Yankees worse that one time, and called Dustin Pedroia "the best player in the AL."

hi, my name is Tino Martinez.

I am super hot but I can't find any clothes that fit me, apparently. Seriously WTF? Going for the harem pants look there, Bam-Tino?

it never fails to amuse me

that Monument Park used to be actually on the field.

don't make me do this, NYT.

This article is really good, buttttt...

Coming off shoulder surgery, Rivera converted 44 of 46 save opportunities last season and all five in the playoffs. Each of the other seven postseason closers had at least one blown save.

Brad Lidge didn't actually blow a save, guys. He just gave up a bunch of runs in a tie game in the top of the ninth inning so he took a loss. Fact... checking...?

boredom: WAR vs. WARP

Top 10 position players and pitchers by year, since 2002 when they started doing WAR. First slash is WAR, second is WARP. Why am I doing this? Yeah, I dunno.

2002 position players
1. Barry Bonds/Barry Bonds
2. Alex Rodriguez/Jeff Kent
3. Vladimir Guerrero/Shawn Green
4. Brian Giles/Brian Giles
5. Andruw Jones/Alex Rodriguez
6. Jason Giambi, Jim Thome/Jim Edmonds
7. Jeff Kent/Andruw Jones, Jason Giambi
8. Chipper Jones/Bobby Abreu
9. Jim Edmonds/Pat Burrell, Chipper Jones
10. Lance Berkman/Jim Thome

2002 pitchers
1. Curt Schilling/Randy Johnson
2. Randy Johnson/Derek Lowe
3. Pedro Martinez/Roy Oswalt
4. Roy Halladay/Curt Schilling
5. Roy Oswalt/Roy Halladay
6. Derek Lowe/Barry Zito
7. Tim Hudson/Byung-Hyun Kim (!!!!)
8. Kevin Millwood/Pedro Martinez
9. Mike Mussina, Mark Buehrle/Tim Hudson
10. Roger Clemens/Eric Gagne

2003 pos. players
1. Barry Bonds/Barry Bonds
2. Albert Pujols/Bret Boone
3. Alex Rodriguez/Albert Pujols
4. Gary Sheffield/Gary Sheffield
5. Manny Ramirez, Bret Boone/Marcus Giles
6. Scott Rolen/Scott Rolen
7. Todd Helton/Javy Lopez
8. Edgar Renteria/Edgar Renteria, Todd Helton
9. Marcus Giles/Jim Edmonds
10. Lance Berkman/Andruw Jones, Jorge Posada, Alex Rodriguez, Richard Hidalgo

2003 pitchers
1. Roy Halladay/Eric Gagne
2. Pedro Martinez/Roy Halladay
3. Mark Prior/Mark Prior
4. Esteban Loaiza/Esteban Loaiza
5. Jason Schmidt/Pedro Martinez
6. Mike Mussina/Mike Mussina
7. Tim Hudson/Livan Hernandez
8. Javier Vazquez, Kevin Brown/Mariano Rivera
9. Curt Schilling/Kerry Wood
10. Andy Pettitte/Jason Schmidt

2004 position players
1. Barry Bonds/Barry Bonds
2. Adrian Beltre/Adrian Beltre
3. Scott Rolen/Jim Edmonds
4. JD Drew/Scott Rolen, Mark Loretta
5. Jim Edmonds/Albert Pujols
6. Albert Pujols/Miguel Tejada
7. Todd Helton, Miguel Tejada/Todd Helton
8. Alex Rodriguez/Bobby Abreu, JD Drew
9. Ichiro Suzuki, Lance Berkman/Vladimir Guerrero
10. Melvin Mora/Carlos Guillen

2004 pitchers
1. Randy Johnson/Randy Johnson
2. Ben Sheets/Johan Santana
3. Johan Santana/Livan Hernandez, Mariano Rivera
4. Curt Schilling/Carlos Zambrano
5. Jason Schmidt/Ben Sheets
6. Roy Oswalt/Roger Clemens
7. Roger Clemens/Carl Pavano, Roy Oswalt
8. Pedro Martinez, Brad Radke/Curt Schilling, Armando Benitez
9. Tim Hudson/Jake Peavy, Jason Schmidt
10. Mark Buehrle/Brad Lidge, Oliver Perez, Francisco Cordero

2005 position players
1. Alex Rodriguez/Albert Pujols
2. Andruw Jones/Alex Rodriguez
3. Albert Pujols/Rafael Furcal
4. Derrek Lee/Morgan Ensberg
5. Chase Utley/Derrek Lee
6. Jason Bay/Jason Bay
7. Morgan Ensberg/Jim Edmonds, David Wright
8. Brian Roberts/Brian Giles
9. Jim Edmonds/Miguel Cabrera, Andruw Jones
10. David Ortiz, David Wright, Brian Giles/Chase Utley, Jeff Kent

2005 pitchers
1. Johan Santana/Dontrelle Willis
2. Chris Carpenter/Roger Clemens
3. Mark Buehrle/Mariano Rivera
4. Dontrelle Willis/Andy Pettitte
5. Roger Clemens, Roy Oswalt/Roy Oswalt
6. John Lackey, Pedro Martinez/Brandon Webb
7. Andy Pettitte/Jake Peavy
8. John Smoltz, Brandon Webb/Johan Santana
9. AJ Burnett, Jake Peavy/Chris Carpenter
10. Randy Johnson, Esteban Loaiza/Carlos Zambrano
(Understatement: the 2005 Astros had a really good pitching staff.)

2006 position players
1. Albert Pujols/Albert Pujols
2. Grady Sizemore/Carlos Beltran
3. Ryan Howard, Carlos Beltran/Alfonso Soriano
4. Chase Utley/Grady Sizemore
5. Miguel Cabrera/Miguel Cabrera
6. Lance Berkman/Lance Berkman, Joe Mauer, Ryan Howard
7. Derek Jeter/Travis Hafner
8. Travis Hafner/Jamey Carroll
9. Andruw Jones/Chase Utley
10. Carlos Guillen, Joe Mauer, Garret Atkins/Nick Johnson

2006 pitchers
1. Johan Santana/Brandon Webb
2. Brandon Webb/Bronson Arroyo
3. Jeremy Bonderman/Jonathan Papelbon
4. John Lackey/Mariano Rivera, John Smoltz, Johan Santana
5. John Smoltz, Roy Oswalt, Roy Halladay/Roy Oswalt
6. Curt Schilling, CC Sabathia/Joe Nathan
7. Aaron Harang/Carlos Zambrano
8. Mike Mussina, Chris Carpenter/Roy Halladay
9. Kevin Millwood/Chris Carpenter, BJ Ryan
10. Erik Bedard/Francisco Rodriguez

2007 position players
1. Alex Rodriguez/Albert Pujols
2. Magglio Ordonez/David Wright
3. David Wright/Alex Rodriguez
4. Chase Utley, Matt Holliday/Magglio Ordonez, Troy Tulowitzki
5. Albert Pujols/Chase Utley
6. Curtis Granderson/Hanley Ramirez
7. Chipper Jones/Chipper Jones, Matt Holliday
8. Jorge Posada/Curtis Granderson
9. David Ortiz, Jimmy Rollins/David Ortiz
10. Carlos Pena/Jimmy Rollins

2007 pitchers
1. CC Sabathia/Jake Peavy
2. Brandon Webb/JJ Putz
3. Josh Beckett/Roy Oswalt
4. Jake Peavy/John Lackey
5. Joe Blanton, Roy Halladay, John Lackey/Brandon Webb
6. John Smoltz/Fausto Carmona
7. Erik Bedard/Brad Penny
8. Scott Kazmir, Tim Hudson/Tim Hudson
9. Kelvim Escobar, Aaron Harang/CC Sabathia
10. Javier Vazquez/Takashi Saito

2008 position players
1. Albert Pujols/Albert Pujols
2. Chase Utley/Lance Berkman
3. Chipper Jones/Hanley Ramirez, Chipper Jones
4. David Wright/Carlos Beltran
5. Hanley Ramirez/Chase Utley
6. Lance Berkman/David Wright
7. Carlos Beltran, Dustin Pedroia/Dustin Pedroia
8. Grady Sizemore/Joe Mauer, Ryan Ludwick
9. Matt Holliday, Nick Markakis/Jose Reyes, Alex Rodriguez
10. Alex Rodriguez/Nick Markakis

2008 pitchers
1. Tim Lincecum/Mariano Rivera (holla.)
2. Roy Halladay/Tim Lincecum
3. Cliff Lee/Brandon Webb
4. Dan Haren/Johan Santana, Cliff Lee, Ryan Dempster
5. Brandon Webb/Jake Peavy
6. Ervin Santana/Dan Haren
7. AJ Burnett/Roy Halladay
8. Mike Mussina/John Danks
9. John Danks/Cole Hamels, Joakim Soria
10. Jon Lester, Ryan Dempster/Edinson Volquez

2009 position players
1. Ben Zobrist (lol)/Albert Pujols
2. Albert Pujols/Adrian Gonzalez
3. Joe Mauer/Joe Mauer
4. Chase Utley/Chase Utley
5. Derek Jeter/Hanley Ramirez
6. Evan Longoria, Hanley Ramirez/Ben Zobrist
7. Ryan Zimmerman/Evan Longoria
8. Prince Fielder/Prince Fielder, Ryan Braun, Matt Kemp
9. Adrian Gonzalez/Yunel Escobar
10. Chone Figgins/Ryan Zimmerman

2009 pitchers
1. Zack Greinke/Zack Greinke
2. Justin Verlander, Tim Lincecum/Dan Haren
3. Roy Halladay/Roy Halladay
4. Felix Hernandez/Javier Vazquez, Ubaldo Jimenez
5. Javier Vazquez/Tim Lincecum
6. Jon Lester/Josh Johnson
7. Dan Haren/Jair Jurrjens, Chris Carpenter
8. CC Sabathia/Adam Wainwright
9. Adam Wainwright, Ubaldo Jimenez/Mariano Rivera
10. Chris Carpenter/Matt Cain

Also, seriously, how much does WARP hate Jeter? It's kind of ridiculous. He was #32 in 2006 and #44 in 2009. #44!!!! Behind such luminaries as Brendan Ryan, Wandy Rodriguez, Yadier Molina, Casey Blake, and some closers. That's silly.

And WARP really overrates relief pitching. But Mo being supposedly the #1 pitcher in all of baseball in 2008 is pretty fucking badass.