Mr. 99 looking good Empire Magazine's 100 Sexiest Film Stars (as ranked by peoples' votes). Please note, a lot of the girls' comments are probably gonna be like "uhhh, I guess" or just skipped.
100. Mary Elizabeth Winstead (haven't even heard of her. Oh, wait, she was in Grindhouse. And was the cheerleader. Meh)
099. Chris Evans (ahhh. SO HOT. Why is he #99?)
098. Brigitte Bardot
097. Thandie Newton (beautiful. Dude, she can pull off this [and they don't even show how it dissolves into...like...bedsheets])
096. Lucy Liu (well I like her in Kill Bill)
095. James Dean (yeah, he was pretty hot.)
094. Isla Fisher (I am sorry, there needs to be some kind of movie where Amy Adams, Isla Fisher, and Jenna Fischer play wacky sisters. They all have totally serious comedic chops and I love 'em all.)
093. Zac Efron (he can, sometimes, make me all giddy. Like in Hairspray. Mm, Zefron in Hairspray... but he shouldn't be ranked above Chris Evans and others on this list.)
092. Catherine Deneuve (I liked her clothes a lot in The Umbrellas of Cherbourg!)
091. Jamie Foxx (ew, people still like him? Though yeah, I'm not begrudging him his Oscar for Ray.)
090. Elizabeth Taylor (God, she was GORGEOUS.)
089. Clint Eastwood (well, uh. obviously not now.)
088. Sienna Miller (is it wrong that I kind of love her now? Since Interview and Factory Girl, I'm a huge fan.)
087. Warren Beatty (he's always seemed so smug, like the way the people who hate George Clooney say he comes off, but yeah, he was ludicrously hot. Bonnie and Clyde...yes.)
086. Jane Fonda
085. Al Pacino (he was pretty smouldering. Hah, I enjoy when you Google Image Search him and "see also Scarface" comes up.)
084. Katherine Heigl (I need to write a post about her because lately, she's been, uh, stirring up controversy.)
083. Alan Rickman (the voice.)
082. Susan Sarandon
081. Tom Cruise (people still find him attractive? he was cute as anything in Risky Business, I will say that.)
080. Sarah Michelle Gellar
079. Heath Ledger (he definitely was sexy in Brokeback Mountain, but since he broke up with Michelle he's been looking like a hobo and supposedly nailing Lindsay Lohan, so... though I think he's going to be just spectacular and threatening/hot in The Dark Knight, and I do like him. He was my desktop for most of freshman year, a feat few men can claim - including even Clive, Jake, David, and other lovelies.)
078. Sofia Loren
077. Richard Gere (never really did/does it for me)
076. Uma Thurman
075. Ryan Gosling (I've said before that he's a tad overrated in terms of looks, and he is, but he's still gorgeous. I was just tired of reading how he was THE GREATEST ACTOR IN A GENERATION and SEXIEST MAN ALIVE on every blog for about two months straight.)
074. Sigourney Weaver
073. Javier Bardem (smouldering, but not really attractive. Does that make sense?)
072. Gary Oldman (meh)
071. Lauren Bacall
070. John Cusack (eh)
069. Viggo Mortensen (yessss. Oh, Viggo.)
068. Rachel McAdams
067. Ryan Reynolds (could he be hotter? Is he really dating Scarlett Johansson? That's about the most attractive couple in the world.)
066. Sandra Bullock
065. Gael Garcia Bernal (I think I'm the only one that thinks he's ugly.)
064. Eva Mendes
063. Reese Witherspoon (I love her, and I'm going to steal everything in her closet, but she's barely even pretty, certainly not hot or sexy.)
062. Audrey Tautou (meh.)
061. Eric Bana (ohhh love him I do.)
060. Liv Tyler
059. Rita Hayworth
058. Will Smith (nice body, but I dunno. Plus, he's a Scientologist now...this is unfortunate)
057. Julia Roberts
056. Megan Fox (can't stand her. Just go be a porn star already. It's what you frickin' want.)
055. Jason Statham (the best thing about most of the awful movies he's in. Actually, he's usually the only good thing about most of those movies)
054. Jennifer Connelly (she is almost unbelievably gorgeous. Even in, like, this.)
053. Robert Redford (now, no. Then, YES.)
052. Jennifer Aniston
051. Clark Gable (mustaches so don't do it for me.)
050. Penelope Cruz (she has very white teeth and really fantastic hair. But...she's not pretty.)
049. Sean Connery (best Bond ever. Not an original thought, but a true one.
048. Cary Grant (very suave, yeah. But I do prefer the Cloons.)
047. Cameron Diaz
046. Harrison Ford (that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where he gets challenged by the big sword-fighting guy, and he just rolls his eyes and shoots him? Greatest scene ever, helped by the fact that he is so hot in it.)
045. Catherine Zeta-Jones
044. Bruce Willis (hottest bald man ever. I believe I've said this many times, but it bears repeating.)
043. Rosario Dawson
042. Steve McQueen (YES. Why are there so few good pictures of him on Google Image Search?)
041. Nicole Kidman (she's scary-looking now. Sorry, Nicole. You're a goddess in Moulin Rouge! Can I steal your hair from that movie? And your costumes?)
040. Ewan McGregor (oh, Ewan. You're gorgeous and utterly lovable. Ahhh... and look how you pull off a kilt. Mmm.)
039. Grace Kelly
038. Denzel Washington (ohhh how I love him.)
037. Rachel Weisz (major girlcrush. Love her.)
036. Leonardo DiCaprio (totally hot and classy. I love Jack 4-eva.)
035. Monica Bellucci (you know, I just don't get it. She's...naked a lot...and exotic. I guess this is appealing for guys, but not me.)
034. Russell Crowe (sometimes he looks like a mess, and sometimes he looks scary hot. Gladiator? Yes please.)
033. Michelle Pfeiffer (I maintain that she's more frightening than attractive, and she looked like utter crap in Hairspray. But I'm clearly alone in this.)
032. Jake Gyllenhaal (obviously. Only #32??? UNDER CATE BLANCHETT???)
031. Cate Blanchett (sometimes she's gorgeous. sometimes she looks like a dude. sometimes she looks... like this. In short, she should not be this high.)
030. Marlon Brando (fuck yes. Obviously this is circa '51 and not the 90s, but...fuck yes.)
029. Charlize Theron
028. Keanu Reeves (I thought we were all done with Keanu. Is this the '90s?)
027. James McAvoy
026. Emma Watson (say what? Isn't she like 17? She's pretty, yes, but far from sexy.)
025. Clive Owen (ohhh, my Clive. I still love thee, even if you're not quite my #1 any more. Sexy as all hell in all sorts of crap [Derailed??!?!?!])
024. Salma Hayek
023. Daniel Radcliffe (EWWWW. He's not even good-looking.)
022. Kate Beckinsale
021. Orlando Bloom (well, as far as gorgeous guys who can't act for shit goes, at least he beats out Keanu.)
020. Kate Winslet (I love her, as all should know. But she's not quite this hot.)
019. Paul Newman (in the 1960s he was pretty much the hottest man to ever live. Period. Stunning. Gorgeous. Sexy. Every single word you can use to describe attractiveness, he was. Oh my God. He still looks good.)
018. Anne Hathaway (boring and rabbity-looking, with all the sexiness of that girl who sits behind you in math class. In short: no, bad choice.)
017. Matt Damon (he's gorgeous. Plus, I just read People's [shut up] Sexiest Man Alive issue [I know! It's late! I just got back from Spain and I have magazine backup. Geez.], and he's just utterly charming. I love him.)
016. Jessica Biel (she's not really all that pretty but if you told me today that I would one day have her ass, I think I would cry in joy.)
015. Hugh Jackman (yes, of course.)
014. Marilyn Monroe
013. Christian Bale (oh YES.)
012. Halle Berry
011. George Clooney (oh, George. How is it that you're, like, 48, and still so gorgeous? Maybe the world's most perfect man. I, like every sane female, adore him. It helps that he has his first really great performance since Out of Sight with Michael Clayton, too.)
010. Gerard Butler (his fans are CRAZY! Over Clooney??? But yeah, he's totally hot. Mmm, 300 was really enjoyable because of him.)
009. Keira Knightley (oh, just see what I've said 50486 other times. Not particularly pretty and definitely not sexy.)
008. Scarlett Johansson (I fucking love her, I don't care what absolutely horrible movies she's in as of late. Along with Rachel Weisz, my other major girlcrush. I want to come back in another life and look like her. I mean, look at this picture. She has a ridiculous bouffant thing, and stupid eye makeup, and she still looks absolutely amazing.)
007. Brad Pitt (forever.)
006. Eva Green (frightening, not sexy.)
005. Johnny Depp (meh. though I won't lie, lately his looks are decidedly growing on me. If only he'd look like this more often.)
004. Jessica Alba (obviously gorgeous, too bad she can't act at all. Like, I'm quite sure I would be better in any of her roles. Yikes, Jess, that ain't a good thing.)
003. Daniel Craig (...this is the highest ranking man on the countdown? Yes, he's hot. His body is insane. But his face is...okay. Shouldn't be above, like, Paul Newman or Jake Gyllenhaal.)
002. Natalie Portman (see below.)
001. Angelina Jolie (uh, I guess.)
Okay, here's just a note overall on the list: a primer on the word "sexy." I just... okay, I'm a straight girl so perhaps I'm not the best judge. But, for example, while Natalie Portman, #2, is simply stunningly lovely, she is neither sexy nor hot. This is also the case with guys, though. Leonardo DiCaprio is really hot. But he's rarely sexy. Chris Evans is ridiculously hot (see the picture at the top of this page, mmm), but not particularly sexy either. Well, actually, now that I think about it, in that picture up there... damn.
