Keira: Just look fierce, James. It always works for me.
James: God, I'm so depressed.
Keira: James! James! Okay, so this cover was clearly planned back in, oh, October, when we were oh-so-obviously going to sweep the Oscars. Just...pretend this is October.
James: So...ignored...
Keira: Does that really say "the most unpredictable season ever?" [ed. note: no, does it? i can't exactly make it out but that's what it looks like] Yeah, well. Tell that to Julie Christie. That BITCH.
James: What happened to my life?
Keira: God, it was so much more fun to pose virtually naked with Scarlett Johansson than with you. Say, do you think she'd be up for cocktails? I mean, she knows all about being snubbed, right? And isn't it weird that she's the one with the BAFTA [ed. note: one of your best calls ever, BAFTA voters] and I'm the one with the Oscar nomination? Does anyone ever think about that besides the creator of this imaginary conversation?
James: (deep, deep, defeated sigh) Did you know I was the lead of Last King of Scotland? No, probably not.
Keira: Come back. Come back to me.
James: (deep, deep defeated sigh) Not helping.
James: God, I'm so depressed.
Keira: James! James! Okay, so this cover was clearly planned back in, oh, October, when we were oh-so-obviously going to sweep the Oscars. Just...pretend this is October.
James: So...ignored...
Keira: Does that really say "the most unpredictable season ever?" [ed. note: no, does it? i can't exactly make it out but that's what it looks like] Yeah, well. Tell that to Julie Christie. That BITCH.
James: What happened to my life?
Keira: God, it was so much more fun to pose virtually naked with Scarlett Johansson than with you. Say, do you think she'd be up for cocktails? I mean, she knows all about being snubbed, right? And isn't it weird that she's the one with the BAFTA [ed. note: one of your best calls ever, BAFTA voters] and I'm the one with the Oscar nomination? Does anyone ever think about that besides the creator of this imaginary conversation?
James: (deep, deep, defeated sigh) Did you know I was the lead of Last King of Scotland? No, probably not.
Keira: Come back. Come back to me.
James: (deep, deep defeated sigh) Not helping.
