"Gay Witch Hunt": Karen MAKES THE JIM FACE!
"The Convention": Michael makes a new friend
"The Coup": Hugging it out...bitch.
"Grief Counseling": Dwight's design for the robot
"Initiation": Jim ain't givin' up that chair
"Diwali": Angela has to guard the shoes so they don't get stolen.
"Gay Witch Hunt" (fantastic episode. Hard to pick 5 standout moments.)
5. Jim's look after Andy freaks out after he puts his calculator in Jell-O
4. "JIM IS GONE! I MISS HIM SO MUCH! OHHH I CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP! JIM! False. I do not miss him."
3. "Kids - sometimes it pays to be gay!"
2. "Jim's nice enough. I, I don't know how well he's fitting in here. He's always looking at the camera like this. What is that?" AND KAREN'S JIM FACE!!!!
1. MICHAEL KISSES OSCAR. OH. MY. GOD. AMAZING.
"The Convention"
5. "You know what, Pam? If in ten years, I haven't had a baby...and you haven't had a baby..."
"No, Michael."
"Twenty years."
"No, Michael."
"Thirty."
"Sure."
4. "Maybe next time, you will estimate me." (and Jan's face afterward)
3. "In the Martin family, we like to say, 'Looks like someone took the slow train from Philly.' That's code for 'Check out the slut.'"
2. "Hey, how's...Toby?" "Toby Flenderson is everything that is wrong with the paper industry."
1. "Oh my God. Dwight got a hooker! Oh my God, I gotta call... well, I gotta call somebody. I don't even know who to call. Dwight got a hooker!"
"The Coup"
5. "Sometimes, I think you just need to grow a pair!" Not all that funny, until you consider that it's ANGELA that says it, and then it's AMAZING!!!
4. "'Hug it out, bitch.' That is what men say to each other after a fight. We hug it out. And in doing so, they just…let it go and walk away. And they’re done. Not a good idea to say that to a woman, however, I have found. Doesn’t translate."
3. CRENTIST THE DENTIST
2. "Business is like a tiger. And Dwight is like... a monkey... that stabs the tiger in the back with a stick. Does the tiger fire the monkey? Does the tiger transfer the monkey to another branch? Pun! There is no way of knowing what goes on inside the tiger’s head. We don’t have the technology."
1. "I AM GOING TO KILL YOU FOR REAL!!!"
"Grief Counseling" (probably my least favorite episode in the series. It's more sweet than funny, but it doesn't succeed at being as meaningful as, say, "Casino Night." And the Stamford side plot with the potato chips is retarded. Oh well. Actually, "The Convention," "The Coup," and "Grief Counseling" are probably the three weakest episodes in a row - or maybe that's just because the rest of Season 3 is so great.)
5. "When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and thought she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No. I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby."
4. Pam's sweetness at the bird's funeral
3. "Did you check your... butt?"
2. Michael, Dwight, and the statue/robot of Ed
1. "It feels like somebody took my heart and dropped it into a bucket of boiling tears, and at the same time, somebody else is hitting my soul in the crotch with a frozen sledgehammer. And then, a third guy walks in and starts punching me in the grief bone, and I am crying, and nobody can hear me..."
"Initiation" (now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout)
5. SUPER HYPER MICHAEL.
4. "And just as you have planted your seed in the ground, I am going to plant my seed in you."
"Uh, um, I don't think you know what you're saying."
3. Pam and Jim's phone call. Watch Jim's eyes after "it felt far;" I just want to reach through the screen and hug him.
2. "364 days. Til the next pretzel day."
1. "YOU WILL NOW WRESTLE MY COUSIN MOSE!!!!!" Every time Mose runs out to the super-dramatic music with "FEAR" written on his sweatshirt, I CRACK THE SHIT UP.
"Diwali"
5. SWEATY JIM HALPERT.
4. "At least I'm not dressed like a slutty cheerleader, right? ... Is that mean?"
3. "I see dead people!" and the return of "spoiler alert!"
2. Michael hands out the Kama Sutra...and everyone looks at it pretty intensely
1. the Diwali song!
As a final note (and an edit on April 5, almost two months later, to keep this on the DL), I gotta say: Andy's hysterical Cornell name-dropping only becomes funnier because...well...guess where I go to college.
