Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Things to Freak Out About: Inauguration Edition.

If you're...

Blindly Conservative/Republican: OMG OBAMA DIDN'T TAKE THE OATH RIGHT. THAT MEANS HE'S NOT OUR PRESIDENT. PLUS HE DOESN'T HAVE A BIRTH CERTIFICATE OMG!!!!!

Blindly Liberal/Democratic: OMG IT WASN'T OBAMA THAT SCREWED UP THE OATH IT WAS ROBERTS AND OBAMA WAS JUST SAYING IT RIGHT AND THAT OTHER DUMBASS KEPT TRYING TO MESS HIM UP. ROBERTS IS A BUSH APPOINTEE. CLEARLY HE WAS TRYING TO KEEP OBAMA OUT OF THE WHITE HOUSE!!!!

A writer for a tabloid: OMG MICHELLE LOOKED KIND OF BULKY IN HER 500 LAYERS THAT SHE HAD ON BECAUSE IT WAS FREEZING. CLEARLY THIS MEANS SHE'S PREGNANT. OBAMA BABIES!!!!!

(Frankly, I think Obama and Roberts were both understandably extraordinarily nervous and messed it up. I thought it was super endearing for both of them. And I definitely don't think Michelle would get pregnant now, though OMG I WOULD FREAK OUT IF SHE DID ACTUALLY PLEASE MAKE THIS HAPPEN OBAMA BABIES!!!!! Hmmm... I always knew I was a tabloid writer at heart haha.)