Happy birthday Kiki!

I think you're wonderful. Yes, wonderful. Yes, I know you have a snaggletooth, and yes, I know your best work isn't in the Spider-Man movies even though you'll be associated with it forever, but I adore you nevertheless. 4 NOMINATIONS! That's gotta be way more than what anyone else would give you, huh? So my love is pure.

The season will end with three of these things (or NONE of 'em!):

Season 4 Spoilers, 4/30

According to my personal god Ausiello, three of the following, or possibly NONE of them, will happen at the end of the season, and they will involve Angela, Dwight, Andy, Jan, Toby, Michael, Jim, and Pam:

1. engagement
2. death
3. infidelity
4. pregnancy
5. a fire
6. coming out

so, possibilities:

1. Jim & Pam, obviously. Ausiello said an Office couple was getting engaged at the end of the season, and all signs point to them. I don't think Jim would show that ring only to have that plotline be ignored the rest of the season. It's Chekov's gun. That said, in some weirdo alternate universe, this could be Jan and Michael. Jan could show up with a ring, and say, "Michael, I love you. Marry me." and you know Michael would go along with it.

2. Maybe Toby's hitting on Pam and moving to Costa Rica and jumping fences (!!!) because he got some kind of horrible disease prognosis and he knows he's going to die. Or something insane happens with Jan. Or Ryan overdoses, but he's not on the list...

3. ANGELA CHEATS ON ANDY WITH DWIGHT AS THE LAST SCENE! Or, and I offer this 99.99999% as a joke, Pam cheats on Jim with Toby. If that happens, I might stop watching the show. And you know it takes a lot for me to say that.

4. Jan is a definite possibility. Don't think it'd be Pam or Angela.

5. I can't tell whether this is "a fire" or "fire" as in someone is getting fired. If it's the former, clearly JAM will catch on fire. ;) Or Ryan will start a fire with a pita in Corporate. ;) If it's the latter, maybe Andy will get fired, or Ryan (even though he's not on the list...).

6. I don't think much could top Michael kissing Oscar, no? Maybe Jan decides Michael has turned her off men forever and she's now gay. Which, of course, would lead to much hilarity, Michael asking Jan if he could watch or trying to set up Jan with Oscar ("that's not how it works, Michael!").

I can't find some possibility that involves all of the people listed above, but for now...:
- Jim & Pam get engaged
- Jan is pregnant with Michael's child
- Angela cheats on Andy with Dwight
And Toby goes to Costa Rica, which clearly changes things for him...um...yep.

CRAZY SPECULATION FTW!!!!!

Rockin' IMDb poll today.

Click it.

Yeah, the usual suspects are winning, but there's a reason for that. It still shocks and utterly pleases me how popular and loved The Shawshank Redemption is. And yes, like perhaps everyone else, I have not seen nor heard of most of the bottom five. Just proving there's always room to grow, movie-wise, new favorites to discover. And that, my friends, is why we love cinema.

Ang Lee's an ass.

As per Dave Poland's blog:
"[We discussed] The Ice Storm, which [Ang] says he should have called 'The Fuck You Movie,' as the choice to do it was a direct response to having made 'nice, heartwarming' films. He said, 'A lady would come up to me and say, "I just loved Sense & Sensibility," and I'd just want to punch her in the face."

Asshole. Sorry someone likes your movies.

Big birthday day!

Michelle Pfeiffer, Daniel Day-Lewis, Uma Thurman.

Love DDL, especially after 2007. Uma Thurman is one of my favorite actresses when she's not being terrible, which is sadly not all that often lately. Still, all she really needs is Kill Bill and Pulp Fiction and she's already got two performances most people would die for. Don't care for Michelle Pfeiffer, the praise she gets for Batman Returns still utterly baffles me. She was okay as the cat in full regalia, not anything special but not bad, but she was horrendous as the secretary. Granted, that part of the movie didn't last terribly long, but it still left a sour taste. Recently, people (not a lot, but they're out there) have been giving her noms for Hairspray. WTF?

Because sometimes I watch other TV shows, too. Really.

Boys becoming men. Men becoming wolves. *snorfle*

Public service announcement.

Every time you give him:

your personal Best Actor award in 2007 over him:

God mercilessly kills a kitten.



The more you know...

Wha?

The Harold and Kumar sequel opened LAST WEEKEND? I didn't even hear about it.

...And it got beaten out by the awful-looking Baby Mama? I love me some Tina Fey, but no. No no no.

Melora Hardin's credited in "Goodbye, Toby."

We all know what that means.

JAN'S BACK YA'LL. HOLD ON TO YOUR HAAAAAAAAATSSSSSSS

(Movie news soon. I promise! ... If by soon, you mean May 16, right?!)

It's too late to apologize. It's too late...

Yes, this association is entirely due to those stupid commercials.

Jim Halpert explains how sex works.

Who's really leaving?

Who's it gonna be...
(Andy/Michael [seriously, where's Steve?] should be there somewhere)

For all the spoiler news referenced in this post, click here.

So, thanks to Jenna Fischer, we all know someone's leaving Dunder-Mifflin at the end of the season. Which, of course, begs the question - who is it going to be? Because I am obsessed and have nothing better to do, I have decided to overanalyze all the Dunder-Mifflin workers' chances at leaving.

Michael Scott
Why he might leave: Steve Carell may want to concentrate on his movie career. The spin-off supposedly involves the character that leaves, and it would be easiest to write a spin-off based on Michael Scott. In the British version, David Brent (who Michael is based on) got fired, and you know that'll probably come up eventually.
Why he might not: Jenna confirmed that he's not. Perhaps the biggest reason, though - The Office without Michael Scott might as well not exist.

Dwight Schrute
Why he might leave: Rainn Wilson talked about a Dwight spin-off. Maybe Angela/Andy gets to him too much and he decides to leave.
Why he might not: He already left and came back, so it'd be like that story arc all over again. Rainn's comments were confirmed as a joke that was taken out of context. NBC execs say the Dwight/Michael relationship is too important to give up (and it is). A lot of people watch the show for Dwight.

Jim Halpert
Why he might leave: Maybe Pam shoots him down again when he proposes, and he can't stick around. It's obvious that his job isn't right for him and he's going to have to get out eventually.
Why he might not: If you read the spoilers, it says there's "an engagement, eloping, or sex" coming up for our little JAMmers, and after "Chair Model" it looks like engagement - and as I think I pointed out before, it says engagement, not just proposal, so I don't think she'll turn him down. Jim leaving because Pam shoots him down would be a rehash of "Casino Night," which is lazy and The Office is better than that. On the Rachael Ray show, John Krasinski made a joke about leaving the show, then blatantly said he was not.

Pam Beesley
Why she might leave: Pam can't be very satisfied with her job. Maybe she's finally going to go for that art internship.
Why she might not: Jenna Fischer blatantly said she wasn't.

Ryan Howard
Why he might leave: His head must be on the chopping block at Corporate after the failure of DMI, and his cocaine addiction means his work is probably suffering. Many agree he's headed for a fall.
Why he might not: Is Corporate so willing to admit they were wrong in hiring him so quickly?

To be updated with the "minor" characters later.
ETA: okay, maybe not

Pam's quirk/secret is...

...SHE WEARS GIANT DORK GLASSES!!!!!

Steve Carell and Alec Baldwin screaming at the top of their lungs in the same commercial (LOVE IT!!!! WAKE UPPP!!!!!!!!!)? OMG OMG OMG OMG. (It's too bad they have to share the commercial for their brilliant shows with the horror that is My Name Is Earl.)

"You are fired."
DUN DUN DUNNNNNN.

I have a gooooooooood feeling about this one in my bones for whatever reason.

PS: Read nothing into Pam's "please?" That's a clip from "The Deposition." You can't fool me, tricky editors :P

"Night Out"

I didn't see all of it, but I caught the last ten or so minutes, so:

- oh no, not more "Jim is Michael" stuff
- when Jim spoke Spanish, my heart went "SQUEEEE!!!" a shameful amount
- Pam can't throw a football
- OMG TOBY?!?! (He gives me the wiggins now........)
- OMG RYAN?!?!
- Woohoo "Diversity Day" callback
- Oh, Michael.

ETA after a rewatch/seeing the first fifteen minutes: I don't like it nearly as much as "Dinner Party" and "Chair Model." I think the episode was, like, punishing us for the amazing-ness of "Chair Model" (and hopefully, for what's to come ;) ). It was just so weird, like if I had a really intense fever and started hallucinating about The Office, this would be the result. Or, perhaps more accurately... it is one of Ryan's coke-addled dreams.

Okay, Jim didn't speak Spanish (I thought he said "aqui es," but he said "lucky us"), my bad.

When I caught it the first time around, I missed the part where Ryan's hands were shaking, he kept going to the bathroom, etc., so I thought he was just extremely drunk and not high on cocaine. When he was dancing around and breaking bottles, it came off as what a stupid overconfident drunk would do, and it was hysterical. Rewatching it, I feel really bad about thinking it was so funny... but BJ Novak's wonderful performance of a guy who has a pathetic life and is in so far over his head and doesn't know how to get out made me actually feel terrible for Ryan, after having hated him all season.

Everyone at the office's sudden "let's talk about everything Jim has ever done wrong in his life" talk came off as petty and annoying. I wasn't like "oh look, Jim is falliable!" I was like, "wow, these guys are obnoxious..."

Speaking of Jim's plan, is it wrong that I kind of think Toby orchestrated screwing it up? Oh, look, Toby just so happens to have the front desk guard's number. Oh, look, Toby just so happens to have this random football he found. Maybe Toby ran into the security guards as they were going to lock up, and they asked him if they should lock up even though there were cars in the lot, and Toby said yes. I'm definitely reading too much into it, but he just gives me the wiggins now. Though his line delivery of "why?" after they take his robe from him in "A Benihana Christmas" is still perhaps my all-time favorite line delivery on this show, so yeah.

I actually liked Jim and Pam in this episode. There was that "Diversity Day" callback, and then the fact that they stood by each other when everyone else turned on them, when Toby caused mad awkwardness, etc. And I loved the look on Jim's face after Toby caressed Pam's knee. It's like, he was obviously horrified and grossed out, but Jim's a nice guy and, more importantly - he's been there.

I really hope what happens isn't this: Ryan is fired. Jim, who's been talking to and impresssing David Wallace this entire time, gets the job in his place. That job turns everyone that has it insane/into a cokehead, apparently.

When Andy said that Angela was more chain than ball, he had this line delivery and head movement thing where he TURNED INTO Todd Packer. Where is Todd Packer? Having him in every episode would be horrendous, but we haven't seen him in at least a season and a half!
[ETA: Oh yeah, Todd showed up in "Ben Franklin" for like 2 minutes didn't he. Oh well. Like, a season.]

I think I'll like this episode better when all the "OMG WHAT????" issues get resolved. One thing I gotta say (that isn't necessarily good or bad) is that the strike really made every episode step up its game in terms of plot and character development. I feel like after every episode, I need to catch my breath. For all the Season 2 love (which is totally deserved, don't get me wrong), there were a ton of episodes that were, plot-wise, just kind of filler.

Best parts: Toby jumping the fence, "I am going to go get laid!" "With sex!", and "And then an older gentleman asks you, boxers or briefs?"

I'm bringing Conversations with Celebrities back.

Ang: Hello everyone.
Tang: Hi guys.
Ang: I am Ang Lee, acclaimed Academy Award-winning director of the *cough* Academy Award-winning film Brokeback Mountain. *starts glowering*
Tang: Ang, we heard you whining about it all the way in China. Anyway, I am Tang Wei, Chinese actress and star of Ang's latest not Academy Award-nominated film, Lust, Caution.
Ang: You were really good. Freaking brilliant, even.
Tang: Yes. You are correct.
Ang: I hear you were so good that Justine Credible even admits you were better than Laura Linney last year.
Tang: Really? Awww, she shouldn't have! She also says Lust, Caution is far better than Brokeback Mountain.
Ang: Well, she's right, but don't tell anyone I said that. Also, you are very pretty.
Tang: Thank you, Ang.
Ang: It's a little ridiculous that you were blacklisted.
Tang: No kidding.
Ang: And it's kind of sad that you don't have anything listed "in production" on IMDb.
Tang: Yeah, I know. I think I'm going to talk to Ziyi Zhang. We're beautiful Asian actresses who are the same age, so we pretty much might as well be the same person to Hollywood producers, right? [note to the reader: I am not trying to offend anyone with this particular line of dialogue. I am trying to make fun of Hollywood and the lack of Asian actors/actresses. That's all.] I might steal one of her roles. I mean, she deserved it after Memoirs of a Geisha and her performance in it.
Ang: Yeah. And to think I gave her Crouching Tiger.
Tang: Are you gonna start whining again?
Ang: I never really stopped.
Tang: Touché.

(On a side note, it amuses me to no end that I saved this picture as "tangang" on my computer)

The season finale's title is...

... "Goodbye, Toby."

Awwww.

Oh, I so cannot wait to see Michael's goodbye to him.

(Please don't make this another "Casino Night"? Toby's feelings for Pam aren't how Jim feels. And it's kind of funny that for all of Michael's insanity, all his talk about how creepy Toby is actually has turned out to be more than a little true as of late. It further proves - Michael is a decent guy. Adding this up to all the "Jim = Michael" stuff this season has had... maybe it's trying to show that the thing that redeems Jim Halpert is his love for Pam.)

(Oh, and after hearing that the season finale is "super twisty"... I miiiight be thinking that it isn't actually Toby that leaves. Oh writers, please feel free to eff with our heads...as long as you keep Jim and Pam together and happy, ya bastards ;) )

(I know, I know. I should go write about movies. This is a movie blog. Really. But you know what? I've had noooo time. I still haven't seen Leatherheads. I can wait until the DVD for Forgetting Sarah Marshall. There's a new Office every week [until May 15, anyway], and they don't involve trekking to movie theaters and they're only half an hour long. We're in post-Oscar-films-in-theaters, pre-summer-movie-spectacular, so there's almost nothing I want to see [except Leatherheads, and trust me when I say I've had no time.]. Blarrrr. But I'll be back in full force soon.)

where did THAT come from?!

The lovely and talented Ms. Amy Ryan is going to be on the season finale of The Office? It's random, but, oh, I'm pretty excited. Her work on stage and in 2007 films is awesome, and The Office doesn't cast people, even for teeny bit parts, unless they're at the tippy-top of their game. And after Ms. Ryan's characters in Before the Devil Knows You're Dead and Gone Baby Gone, I'm dying for her to bust out some comic chops.

Why must all Supporting Actress Oscar-nominated Amys be on The Office ;)

John C. Reilly is awesome.

He learned to be in both Boogie and Talladega Nights.

Subtle Office genius...

Michael unknowingly setting up the entire season

So at the end of "Gay Witch Hunt," the first episode of the third season, Michael gives this whole schpiel about how it's okay for Oscar to be gay because love is crazy. Something he says is, "Life is short. When two people find each other, what should stand in their way?" As he says this, it shows Jim at Stamford, looking at his shoulder as Mr. Brown gives his diversity seminar - obviously a callback to "Diversity Day" when Pam fell asleep on his shoulder at that same seminar in Scranton.

At the end of "The Job," the last episode of the third season, Jim finally asks Pam on a date. Her response, after that amazing reaction shot, is "I'm sorry, what was the question?"

Really, all of Season 3 can be looked at as an answer to Michael's question. Many things stood in Jim and Pam's way, from physical distance to being with people who weren't truly for them to their development as characters. But at the end of the season, when they finally find their way to each other for good, it's like Pam's saying that the question didn't even matter. It's a great bookend (not to mention the fact the very first scene of Season 3 is Ryan getting a promotion, and the very last scene of Season 3 is Ryan getting the ultimate promotion).

There are a lot of REALLY brilliant little touches in Jim and Pam's vs. Jim and Karen's relationship. Take, for instance, "Pilot" versus "Gay Witch Hunt." In "Pilot," in Pam's very first talking head, she discusses her art and seems proud of the fact that Jim likes it. She even mentions Jim before she ever mentions Roy! In "Gay Witch Hunt," Karen's first talking head expresses utter disdain for Jim. Similarly, Pam laughs hysterically over Jim's Jell-O prank on Dwight, whereas when Jim does the same to Andy in Stamford, Karen doesn't even notice it. Moving beyond those two episodes, there's the nice detail in "E-Mail Surveillance" where Phyllis thinks Jim and Pam are together when they're not (and, it can be assumed by Ryan, Stanley, and Kevin's looks after the two kiss at the Dundies, that Phyllis isn't the only one that thinks there just might be something going on there), and then in "Women's Appreciation" when Jim mentions him and Karen have been dating for six months, Ryan doesn't think it's a real relationship.

Ugh. So awesome.

It's Jack Nicholson's birthday.

LOVE, even in his self-indulgence at times. Here's to another 71... and you know if anyone lives that long it'll be him.

Ugh, I'm SO TIRED. The Pulpys for Best Picture are coming, really...eventually...

Julianne Moore and "reprehensible" art

SIGN ME UP.

Even the title is awesome. Hamlet 2! GAH HILARIOUS. Plus, ELISABETH SHUE.

Richard Roeper in "At the Movies"

"I want to break into Marion Cotillard's apartment, steal her Oscar, and give it to Laura Linney, who actually deserves it."

It's said in a stupid way, but... can we?

(PS you know if Christie/Page/whoever won, the Cotillard supporters would have said far worse, so let's not gang up too much on Roeper)

Happy birthday George Takei.

Can't say I ever watched Star Trek. However, words cannot fully express how much this video cracks me the shit up. Both classy, and genius.

In response to the Jim/Pam pessimists.

Yeah, I know, I don't write about anything other than The Office.

So a lot of people are saying Pam will say no to Jim, and her "no" will be the fourth season's season finale cliffhanger. Doubtful. For one thing, that would be basically a repeat of "Casino Night," which is pretty lazy and The Office is better than that. I think Pam loves Jim too much to break his heart again. More importantly, though, from Ausiello it said that the "big Jim/Pam plot" would be set in motion on April 17, pick up on April 24, and climax on May 1. May 1 isn't the season finale. Even though the fangirl in me would love to have the absolute last shot of the season be Pam saying "absolutely I will" in response to Jim's proposal, I don't think that will happen just based on Ausiello's spoilers. Perhaps more importantly, though, Ausiello said that the possibilities were a) engagement, b) eloping, c) sex, or d) breaking up. After "Chair Model," I think we can pretty much say that it's going to be A. And notice the wording: engagement. Not just proposal. Maybe I'm just being an optimist/idealist, but hey. It's true that in the pictures posted on OfficeTally of the webmaster's trip to the set for the season finale, neither is wearing a ring, but it could be possible that John or Jenna took their prop rings off/were asked to take their prop rings off because it would have been such a blatant spoiler. From a story I heard, everyone freaked out the summer between the second and third seasons when Jenna posted a picture on her MySpace of Pam with an engagement/wedding ring, and we all know how that turned out.

Also: if Jim and Pam get married in the summer, it'd be good for these new webisodes that are coming. That way, we could see their wedding, but it wouldn't just be "Phyllis' Wedding" all over again. Plus, the Season 5 season premiere could be "The Dundies Again" and Pam and Jim could get the "Shortest Engagement" Dundie :)

Okay, now that Jim/Pam is taken care of, let's move on to Dwight/Andy/Angela and Michael/Jan... ;)

My mom said...

...Atonement was the worst movie she'd ever seen.

:(

I'm not one of those insane Atonement fanatics (in fact, I just took away its Adapted Screenplay win like 2 days ago), but it's still an A- film. I can see how you wouldn't like it. But the worst movie she'd ever seen?

My mom also hates Moulin Rouge! and The Piano. And thinks Gandhi is amazing. :(

I think we broke his brain.

Do you still have feelings for her?
Yes.

I love this song.

Perfectly used in Juno and The Savages alike.

Happy birthday America Ferrera!

John Krasinski agrees!

(Damn she's only 24?!)

more "Chair Model"

You just got yourself kicked out of your apartment.
Oh, I don't care. I didn't really like that place much anyway. I'll move.
Oh, really? Who's gonna take you in? You're messy, you're a klutz, you spill everything. And you leave the volume on the TV way too loud.
Yeah, maybe I'll just move in with my boyfriend 'cuz he's kind of a slob too.
Okay, sure. Let's do it.
No. I, um, well, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna move in with anyone unless I'm engaged.
Have I not proposed to you yet? (SQUEEEEEE!!!!!)
Hmmm, I don't know...
Oh, well, that's coming... (SQUEEEEE!!!!!)
Oh. Right now?!
No. Not gonna do it right here, that would be rather lame.
Okay, so then, when?
Pam, I'm not gonna tell you. Hate to break it to you, but that's not how it works.
Oh, right, yeah.
Wait, I'm serious. It's happening.
Okay.
And when it happens, it's going to kick your ass, Beesley. So stay sharp.
I've been warned.


I am not kidding.
[shows ring]
Got it a week after we started dating.
[MY HEART. IT IS MELTED.]

Where do you want to go for dinner?
I don't know. I kind of hate all our regular places right now. Oh, you know what, that one...
[Jim gets on one knee]
Hey Pam, will you...
...wait for me one second while I tie my shoe?
I hate you.
What? My shoe is untied. What is your problem? Oh, my God, you thought I was - oh.
Oh, oh.
No, no, no.
How could I have thought that? How could I have thought that?

That episode was even better than "Dinner Party." HOW??!?!?! How is The Office so amazing week after week?!? AAAHHHHH.

Kevin was the supporting MVP. He's always been one of my favorite characters, but when's the last time he made me almost cry ("it's just nice to win one." SNIFFLE.)? I want to give Kevin the episode MVP, but... I think that's gotta go to Jim.

One of the things I loved the most about this episode were the little subplots with Pam wanting a better chair (her sliding in the chair was so darn adorable. Does anyone else think Pam is a tad too pretty nowadays, though? I kind of keep expecting her to show up to the office like this.) and everyone bitching about walking like five minutes to work. These things are so simple that I don't see how one would consider putting them on a television show, but they're just so utterly relatable to virtually anyone.

Michael was kind of an ass/David Brent-ish in this episode. Of course, you felt bad for him at the end. Steve Carell's just that amazing.

Creed is still amazing too. Why does he need another chair?!?!

shorn't should take the place of everyone imitating Emily Blunt going "no. shan't." MAKE IT HAPPEN, PEOPLE.

THE FIVE FAMILIES IS CLASSIC. I love how Kevin talked about it like it was the Mafia. Lord, I loved that montage. I just love Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration. Should Ryan really be in the credits any more? I feel like we've seen Bob Vance more often than him lately.

Jim making a your mom joke makes my life.

Andy totally channeled Michael in his final talking head. People need to pay... for their kids' orphanage bills??!?!?! I LOVE IT.

Jan is definitely coming back. I don't think the end of her story is going to be "and then Jan moved out of Michael's condo and we never saw her again. THEEEE ENDDDDD." Maybe she'll come back in the season finale having done something even crazier than a boob job (excuse me. boob enhancement.) to get Michael back. Those two are a trainwreck and I freakin' love it.

As far as the Jim and Pam stuff goes...see above. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. There was shrieking, and there was squealing, and yes, there was a little crying. I rewatched the episode twice already, and when Jim goes over to her desk, I just GRIN LIKE AN IDIOT until the end of the episode. He got the ring a week after they started dating? If that was Michael, it'd be insane. But, because it's Jim (and Pam), it's absolutely beyond perfect. When he got down on one knee and said "Pam, will you..." my heart actually skipped a beat, and then when he finished his question, I ROARED in laughter. That scene was beautifully shot, too. People say Pam looked "apprehensive" after they talked about their engagement, and maybe I'm a hopeless Jim/Pam optimist, but I don't think so. Shocked, yes, and understandably, but doubtful, no. Plus, if she says no in, say, the season finale, that's like "Casino Night" redux, which is lazy and The Office is better than that. No matter what you think Pam will say, "Chair Model" was a top 5 Jim/Pam episode for certain.

Finally, I think we can all collectively agree: we're totally waiting for Mr. Halpert to kick Ms. Beesley's ass. :) :) :) :) :) Can I predict the best "absolutely, I do/will" moment in the series' history? :)

So happy together.

Now fuck off and die, you fucked-up slag!

(Ha ha, you probably thought this was about Jim and Pam looking at the title, didn't you.)

"Chair Model"

Oh my God.

Oh. My. God.

Oh.
My.
God.

(He's had the ring since a week after they started dating. I cried a little.)



oscar meyer weiner. ...lover.
full comments to come tomorrow.

I LOVE the Ausiello Report...

Question: From one Smurf fan to another, can you give any additional hints as to
which of your options — engagement, elopement, breaking up or having sex —
is the "big stuff" in store for Jim and Pam on The
Office?— Kathryn
Ausiello: I have a better idea. How 'bout I eliminate
one of the options from the mix? I can confirm that the "big
stuff" does not involve any sort of Jam split. That leaves engagement,
elopement and having sex as the three remaining possibilities. Look for the
field to narrow even further tomorrow night between 9-9:30 pm/ET.

Question: Can you give us more about the big Jim-Pam spoiler on The
Office? — C.
Ausiello: Neither Jim nor Pam is currently hiding a drug
problem. But someone else is.

I TOLD YOU THEY WEREN'T BREAKING UP. And dude, they've so already had sex. I can't tell whether they're going to get engaged or elope, but one of those two will happen. And the drug problem? $1 (I'm not a betting girl, what can I say) says it's Jan, addicted to painkillers that she got because of her boob job...excuse me, boob enhancement. Backup choice is Toby and anti-depressants. And, of course, I think Meredith is the obvious choice.

It's Thursday.

:D. Expect posts like these til May 15, guys.

Did you forget Rosario Dawson kicks ass?

Total. And. Utter. Behind.

Jenna Fischer on "Chair Model":

We had a Premiere party and got a sneak peak at the next episode, "Parking" (now titled "The Chair Model"...thanks Sara the Dork!) Okay…I know I say this every time…it's the best. The cast was blown away. We laughed. We gasped. I even got a little choked up. I think these 6 post-strike episodes are some of our strongest yet.


Pam and Jim are so getting engaged. :)

1776 is awesome.

That is all.

(Slow day...)

Rolling Stone's 25 Greatest Office moments.

Rolling Stone is a decent music magazine, but oh dear lord their movie reviewer, Peter Travers, as many know, is horrrrrrrrrrrrrible. He'll rave anything awardy and is a pretty major quote whore. Anyway, this isn't related to him, but I found Rolling Stone's list of the top 25 The Office moments ever. Let's dissect it, shall we?

1. No. "Grief Counseling" doesn't deserve to be #1 in anything...except maybe worst episodes (ooh burn).
2. No. But it's very funny.
3. Yes. It's still one of the funniest quotes in the series' history.
4. No, but still very funny. "The Merger" had way better moments, though.
5. YES. In the running for the best moment of the series.
6. Wha? "Phyllis' Wedding" is pretty underrated (yes, Michael acts like a sitcom character, but he's very funny until a certain point and a lot of the non-Michael-related humor is very subtle), but this isn't nearly the best moment in it.
7. Funny, but not the best thing in "The Negotiation."
8. No.
9. A classic, of course. But I still prefer "No, orange is whorish!"
10. Hilarious, but not one of the very best moments.
11. lemoñadé is a million times better.
12. HE'S ALWAYS THINKING ONE STEP AHEAD. LIKE A CARPENTER MAKING STAIRS. That's a way funnier quote. Also, the fact that Andy bought that quote back...when he was going to anger management.
13. that's the best part they could find in "Safety Training"? Not "Dwight, you ignorant slut!" or Kevin's thoughts on 10000:1 odds?
14. Funny, but not top-25 funny.
15. Yeah, this was really funny.
16. This is an absolutely PERFECT moment. God, I love it, and no matter how many times I see it, I just crack the shit up.
17. Funny, but not this funny.
18. Hysterical indeed. Classic moment.
19. ...this is one of their top 25 moments?!?!??! Yikes, Rolling Stone's TV critic must be as horrible as their movie critic. You picked this over second drink? Over Prison Mike? Over faxes to Dwight from the future? Over anything in "A Benihana Christmas"? Over "I'm in love with you"? Geeeeeeeez.
20. Yeah, it's very funny. But just the idea of Michael burning his foot on a George Forman grill is even funnier.
21. Dude, no. "Traveling Salesmen" is all about Harvey, Jim slapping Dwight (all of Jim and Dwight's moments, actually), Angela's murderous glare while Andy THs about his victory over Dwight, and DAWESOME.
22. Hysterical indeed. This is one of those moments that makes me wonder why "Phyllis' Wedding" is so underrated.
23. Of course. Though I probably wouldn't put it top 25.
24. Yup. One of Dwight's best lines ever.
25. Hahahaha yup. Not top 25, but good enough to justify being on it.

this list needs more Creed and Kevin...and better Andy... and not a minute from any of my top 5 episodes is used...

Somehow these things NEVER GET OLD.

Inside their heads, on the floor, when we talk about the war...

Can't waaaait.

Pick the poster for Choke.

They are all goddamn amazing. I don't even know which one to choose. "Sex looks like love if you squint"? That's just an awesome tagline. Though they really appear to be playing up the sex aspect, and not playing up the "is he Jesus?" aspect.

If you guys've never read the book, I'd highly recommend it. Just be warned - it's, um, strange. Fight Club is one of Palahniuk's most "normal" books, and the movie is still toned down a great deal. Choke is on the weird end of the spectrum...

Cate Blanchett's kids have weird names...

Dashiell John? Roman Robert? Ignatius Martin? I mean, tons o'congrats to Cate on the kid, but really.

OMG.

Looks like such a winner. Kevin fist-punching Jim! Andy and Kevin together! JIM AND PAM AIEEEEE! Michael with a rose in his pocket! Michael's question, Phyllis' look after he asks it, and "it bothers me that you're not answering the question." CANNOT WAIT!!!!!!!

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad.

The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.

This movie is...terrible (don't ever see the Director's Cut if you value your soul. I don't want to be like "Richard Kelly is A HACK. A HACK I SAY," because he's totally trying, but his movies are awwwwfuuuuuul.), but I still like Jake Gyllenhaal in it a whole lot. It could not have been easy to pull that shit off and make his character somewhat believable and sympathetic.

Arrested Development

...is heeee-larious. Obviously I don't have the connection to it that I do to The Office (also, The Office is current, which I think helps), but it's still one of the most consistantly amazingly funny contemporary TV shows.

But...why does every Arrested Development fan act like they're the only Arrested Development fan out there? Yeah, it got cancelled because the network it was on is idiotic and cancels all the good shows it has (oh, man, remember when Family Guy came back on whatever channel and it opened with that list of all the shows Fox has cancelled? I LOVE IT.), but that doesn't mean that it doesn't have fans. Geez.

Who else can't wait for the Arrested Development movie? MEEEE. MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

oh IMDb...

Okay, so there's a post: "If Marion Cotillard's film was out last year, would she have beaten Helen Mirren?" And some people are answering "yes," even going so far as to say "definitely."

WHAT.

Did you people not learn that when the question is would any performance in history win at the Oscars vs. Helen Mirren in The Queen, the answer will, 95% of the time, be definitely not? This is especially true of upset wins. By unknown actresses. In foreign language films. With mediocre reviews. Against legendary actresses. Without Oscars. Is that enough? Should I keep going? (Why are you the way that you are?)

Entertainment Weekly's 50 Actors We'd Watch in Anything.

^ That lovely lady is named first for a reason. Part one, part two. And, of course, my thoughts.

Kate Winslet: Absolutely. She's not always in the greatest movies ever, but she's almost always absolutely amazing. Mediocre movies are made far better by her divine presence.
Alec Baldwin: Yeah, I will definitely watch him in anything too. Glengarry Glen Ross, The Departed, and 30 Rock are way more than enough to forever cement my love for him.
Jude Law: I'd stare at him in anything...does that count? Nah, there was 2004 when he was in like 5 movies, none of which were any better than a B-grade, but he was wonderful in most of them, Closer aside. He's given great performances in very uneven movies.
Philip Seymour Hoffman: He often plays ugly characters - physically and emotionally - so I'm not really running out to see his films. But, yes, extremely talented and I always catch up with his films.
Edie Falco: Yes. Never less than extremely good. Even in Freedomland!
Morgan Freeman: Probably the definition of an actor worth watching in anything. Simply marvelous, he brings gravitas and class to any production just by being in it.
Meryl Streep: Her too. Obviously we know she's a Great Actress, but now we know she knows how to bring the funny and creative. Yes, I will say it - she has yet to give a bad performance (Oscar-nominated that didn't deserve it, sure. But not bad. But I should note that I have yet to see Rendition and Lions for Lambs.).
Johnny Depp: No. I'd prefer to not watch him in anything, thanks.
Daniel Day-Lewis: Absolutely. His movie choices aren't always A+ but he's normally A+ in them. Now, if only there friggin' were more movies he was in...
Simon Pegg: Shrug. He's lovable...
Ryan Gosling: Probably not. He's amaaaaazing in Half Nelson, and I can't stress how good he was enough, but he's not good enough in anything else for me to say "Ryan Gosling? I'd see him in anything!" I should say I haven't seen The Believer or The United States of Leland, I guess.
Rosario Dawson: YES. I LOVE YOU, Entertainment Weekly. Probably one of the most underrated actresses in the business. Even when the movie's shit, she's usually great.
Don Cheadle: Yes. Never less than very solid, and he's got a great screen presence.
Kristin Bell: I still have never watched Veronica Mars. So I guess I can't talk.
Tony Leung: He's often good, even great, but I'm not going to run out and see anything because he's in it.
Nathan Fillon: Absolutely. Talented, likable, and charming. Can't say I've been watching Desperate Housewives because of him (I've stayed the heck away from that show for a while), though.
Emma Thompson: Again, absolutely. Even in crap she's wonderful, and has a great presence.
Denzel Washington: Often, his movies are so bad that I don't want to see them. But, as I think I've said before, he is a human charisma machine and I adore him. I think he's one of the most talented actors alive.
Cherry Jones: She's awesome, but she hasn't had a great role in the movies yet. And I certainly wouldn't run out to see a movie because she's in it.
Brendan Gleeson: Definition of a fantastic character actor.
Will Ferrell: Yeah, I probably would watch him in anything, and I gotta applaud EW for risking the "EWWWW WILL FERRELL!!!!! WORST ACTOR EVERRRRRR!!!!!!!" comments they'll probably get.
Catherine Keener: She's one of those character actresses that I think is terrifically boring a lot of the time. She gets roles with character but often makes them seem pretty generic.
Tom Selleck: Can't say I know much about his acting, but it's an inspired choice.
Patricia Clarkson: No. She's the boring, less talented Laura Linney. Her only great performances are High Art and The Station Agent, and though she deserved noms for both, she wasn't SPECTACULAR. I'm shocked at how overpraised she is in Far from Heaven, Pieces of April, and Dogville.
Paul Rudd: I'll see anything he's in just cuz he's so hot, quite frankly.
Amy Adams: Since Enchanted, YOU BET YOUR ASS. She brings effortless charm to everything.
George Clooney: Yesyesyes. EW's writeup of him is fucking brilliant.
Tommy Lee Jones: I never really appreciated him until 2007 with that double punch of Elah and No Country, but I kind of love him for it. Ugh, he was so amazing in those two movies...
Mos Def: Incredibly underrated actor. I wouldn't say I'd go see him in anything, but he's great.
Helen Mirren: I'd go see anything she's in just because she's made of awesome. I love that broad.
Sarah Polley: Her acting can be either excellent or horrendously dull, and her movie choices either amazing or awful, but she's certainly one to watch. I will worship her turn in The Sweet Hereafter forever.
Bill Nighy: He's the only bright spot of the entire Pirates series besides the techs. That's gotta count for something.
Christian Bale: I'd go see him in anything just to, you know, see him in anything. It helps that he's really talented too.
Joan Cusack: uhhh, not really.
Alan Rickman: YES. Even in crap, he's amazing and a great presence. LOVE HIM.
Javier Bardem: Probably. I definitely have to check out more of his earlier work...
Allison Janney: I didn't really like her all that much on The West Wing (lunacy?), but she's so cuddly and lovable in Juno...
Viggo Mortensen: Again, another one I'd go see just to see him, if you know what I mean.
Andre Braugher: Ya'll know I know every celebrity but... who??!??!?!
Regina King: She's fine, I guess. I don't get why her performance in Ray is so praised.
Steve Carell: FUCK YES. He can elevate even the worst crap (cough cough, 40-Year-Old Virgin, cough, though I can't say I've seen Evan Almighty), and he can bring the great to an even more amazing level (do I have to say it at this point?). He's one of the best comedic actors we've had, ever.
Paul Giamatti: Eh. He's not always great. He's so good in Sideways, though, that I'm forever on his side.
Mary Louise Parker: She's pretty overrated by her insane fans, of which there are a lot, but I absolutely adore her and think her whole stoned-seeming nature is totally charming. And yeah, she's really fantastic on Weeds, and obviously in Angels in America.
Clive Owen: Oh, Clive. You know I love you, but...no. Yes, he was amaaaaazing in Closer and he's often really good, but he's also often really bad (Derailed?!?!?!?!). His movie choices aren't always great. Though, I kind of like seeing movies to again, see him, you know?
Jeffrey Wright: FUCK YES. One of the greatest actors alive, maybe even of all time. And yes, I'm willing to say that on the strength of his performances in Basquiat and Angels in America alone. The latter is, if we're counting it, easily the second-best male performance of the 2000s...
Julianne Moore: No, absolutely not. Yes, she can be divine. But she can also suck hard. And lately, her work's been so bad, and the likes of Safe and Far from Heaven seem sooooo far away. Though, yeah, Blindness looks like a return to form.
Neil Patrick Harris: YES. He's an absolutely incredible character actor. Trying to decide an Emmy Supporting Actor in a Comedy winner must be a nightmare between him, Jeremy Piven in Entourage, Rainn Wilson, and John Krasinski (c'mon Emmy Academy. You're gonna nominate JKras one of these days right? RIGHT???!?!!??!?!).
Colin Firth: Yup, absolutely. He owns the "charming Brit" role, even more than Hugh Grant.
Laura Linney: FUCKING DUH.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt: Not so much. I really liked him in Mysterious Skin, but...

And that's that.

From the first clips of "Chair Model" (aka "The Chair Model," aka "Parking")

Such a beautiful shot. Jim and Pam being in love, but more than that, just so happy makes me so gleeful, you can't even imagine.

Celebrity Thoughts returns.

Maggie: HELLOOOOO STRANGER.
Jake: Uh, Mags? It's me. Jake. Your, uh, brother.
Maggie: Mmmm, you're warm. And your chest is...firm.
Jake: Um, thanks?
Maggie: Mmmm...
Jake: I am uncomfortable. And not because I have horrendously mismatched clothing.
Maggie: Zzzzzzz...
Jake: Um, okay, let's get you home. ...not like that.

*applause*

Yeah, I know the feeling, Halpert.

Well done, writers and cast. "Dinner Party" was maybe the most awkward episode ever, but it never gave me the willies because it was disrespecting its characters or audience (like, say, Heathers, or Being John Malkovich, or, well, a bunch of the British Office episodes). God, it was hilarious. My only complaint is that if you weren't Michael, Jan, Jim, Pam, Dwight, Angela, or Andy, you had nothing to do in that episode. But, yeah. Really fantastic.

Apparently a lot of people have problems with the fact that Jim was going to "abandon" Pam. Wow. They're really being paranoid/overanalyzing it. For one thing, Jim was trying to get Pam out of there too, until Michael said that only Jim really had to go. Then, it turned into a little game for them. Pranks and goofing on each other are an integral part of Jim and Pam's relationship, and it was like that (think when Pam put Jim on the spot during "Drug Testing" and Jim siccing Andy on Pam in "The Convict"). I think their little look at the end, when Jim realized he was staying, proves that fact. Plus, at that point, the dinner party was just really awkward and not dangerous. Jim wouldn't have left Pam in an actual dangerous situation (IE, after the vasectomy part). Plus, I don't doubt that had Jim gotten away, he would have somehow gotten Pam to come with him as soon as possible. And that scene in the car? Just great. Ahhhh, love.

It's so good to have it back!!!!

Well, a deleted scene is up...

AND IT'S FUCKING HYSTERICAL.

tvguide.com has some great photo galleries.

Some Officers, Brit and Yank, at the SAGs. They're all so darn cute!

I finally get to comment on all the SAG and Oscar fashions. Yup, I'm late, but I'm finally without work and it's a slow few movie months... and yeah, I get lazy commenting on guys' looks unless they're...odd.

SAG
America Ferrera: Gorgeous and classy; she always looks amazing. A candidate for best-dressed of the night for sure.
Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt: I know this was divisive, but I love what she was wearing. It's definitely not traditional, and I don't even like her that much, but she was really pulling it off. Brad Pitt always looks hot, but that outfit needs to be a tad more red-carpet-ish...
Angela Kinsey: I love her and I think she looks great. She's totally adorable. It amuses me so much how much she's not like her character in real life.

Kyra Sedgwick & Kevin Bacon: Something's a little off about her dress, I dunno. It's too...boring, besides its fantastic color. Kevin needs to do his hair a different way.
Cate Blanchett: I'm really not crazy about her dress. I know it has a pattern, but instead it looks like Jackson Pollock got ahold of it...
Rebecca Romijn: What? You're hot, Rebecca? Oh my God, I didn't realize that the first 1500808 times you tried to drill that into my head. I got it now.
Dana Delany: Bad prom dress.
Rebecca Gayheart & Eric Dane: She's got one hell of a bitchface in the picture they have of her, and the dress she has on is a tad ridiculous but I kind of love it. Eric Dane is pretty hot.
Diane Lane: Bad haircut and terrible pose in the picture they have. The dress is okay but kind of pancakes her chest.
Ellen Page: What? Ellen Page wore a boring black dress? How unexpected.
Edie Falco (and James Gandolfini): I can't see much of it, but it looks really really boring.
Jamie-Lynn Sigler: I would definitely like it more if it was all one color instead of having the weird cutoff at the boobs.
Jane Krakowski: I love her, but it's an awful color and the straight-from-the-arts-and-crafts store neck thing is even worse. Oh, Jane. Shame, shame, shame.
January Jones: I want to say it's horrible, and yet the color is amazing and I know if I was a celebrity I would so wear something like that. So yeah, I kind of love it.
Ellen Pompeo: Is she wearing tinfoil? I actually like it. It makes her look not emaciated and it's interesting without being weird.
Allison Janney: Fantastic dress. Why didn't I see her in more places?
Jeanne Tripplehorn: Boring and shapeless.
Kate Beckinsale: It's always lovely to see colors (especially if they're not red, which got kind of overplayed this award season). I think I would have liked it better without the little bow thing at the hip, but it's still a great dress.
Katrina Bowden: Makes her look pregnant.
Marg Helgenberger: What's more boring than a straight up-and-down black dress? Not much.
Melora Hardin: That's such a nuts dress, but I kind of like it. I wouldn't expect any less from Miss Jan Levinson.
Michelle Pfeiffer: Boring. Just like the actress herself. Yup, I said it.
Ashley Tisdale: I thought her dress was fantastic - very clean lines and a nice color. Good hair too.
Nicolette Sheridan: Has she ever worn anything good to an awards show?
Carla Gugino: Like I said, red's getting overplayed, but it still definitely gets attention. This cut is great and interesting, too.
Sophia Bush: It's odd, but I kind of like it.
Teri Hatcher: It's okay. It fits oddly around her midsection.
Tina Fey: BOOORING. But she's so awesome it's excused.
Viggo Mortensen: If any actor is guilty of fucking with their own innate hotness, it's so Viggo. WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DUDE??!??!
Sandra Oh: I know it's crazy, but it's a tribute to her heritage, right? And it's actually kind of beautiful. I mean, she's got every right to wear it, so yeah. *shrug*
Chandra Wilson: HORRIBLE. I love metallics a shitload, too, but there's a right way to wear them and there's...this.
Becki Newton: I likey. Very interesting.
Eva Longoria: Great dress, and does she ever not look gorgeous?
Brittany Snow: Fucking fabulous. Like I said, I love me some metallics, and this is so the right way to wear 'em. Second-best-dressed of the night.
Jenna Fischer: Oh how I love Pam Beesley and covet her pretty pretty red hair (and her pretty pretty boyfriend). I liked her dress a lot too, but it wasn't blow-your-mind fantastic.
Mindy Kaling: Kelly would shriek in horror, Mindy. You should have ironed it and made it not quite so tight.
Nikki Blonsky: It's so...bright.
Debra Messing & Christina Applegate: Debra's a meh? I like gold dresses, but this one just seemed odd, plus the hair is horrendous. However, Christina was the best-dressed of the night. That dress is pretty simple, but awesome.
Amanda Bynes: Fantastic color, good chest-area (the patterning, you pervs), but I hate the hemline and I don't like the hair. So, meh.
Ana Ortiz: It looks like it got a little staticky in the dryer and is sticking to itself, but I still really like it for some reason.
Andrea Bowen: It's fine until it hits the mid-thigh. Then, it turns terrible, just because they feel the need to change the texture or whatever.
Sara Ramirez & Brooke Smith: Sara's is great because that color is faaantastic. Brooke's is horrible. It looks like a combination between lingerie (not appropriate for the red carpet), weird body hair (I don't think girls want to call up that association), and the black webbing stuff from Spider-Man 3.
Lisa Rinna: Leopard print? Really? :(

OSCARS
Johnny Depp & Vanessa Paradis: Yeah, I still don't get Johnny Depp, and I don't think I ever will. Vanessa's dress rocks though.
Calista Flockhart: Boring, I so don't like those kinds of necklines, and terrible hair.
Nicole Kidman: It was pretty nuts. It would have been totally boring without the necklaces, though.
Casey Affleck & Summer Phoenix: HAHA, I LOVE TV GUIDE'S COMMENT. A fine dress, but, um, it needed, uh, more...coverage.
Laura Linney: Laura Linney always looks lovely. ;) This was boring, though - but I loved the necklace and fantastic hair, plus a smile to make the heavens cry.
Nancy Walls & Steve Carell: LOVE. Nancy Walls' dress isn't amazing, but hey, she pulled off satin. That's not easy.
Marion Cotillard: I don't know why people hated it. That dress was fantastic (except for the weird flower nipples).
Javier Bardem & Julian Schnabel: Javier's dreamy. Julian should never give up on the weird clothes.
Renee Zellweger: I think I said it before, but I'll say it again - her dress was amazing and flawless and had it been on someone else everyone would be freaking out about it. Just gorgeous.
Diane Lane: Kind of boring, but I liked the detail and she looked so pretty.
Ellen Page: Soooo boring... at least her SAG dress had a shape to it...
Sissy Spacek: She was there? It's odd, obviously, but she kind of pulls it off. Yaaayyy Sissy.
Cate Blanchett: I loved it, but apparently many didn't. Whatever, it's awesome.
Colin Farrell: COMB YOUR HAIR.
Tilda Swinton: Yeah, it's totally weird and kind of horrible, but let's face it, were we expecting anything less? I would have been so disappointed if she showed up in like, your average gown...
George Clooney & Sarah Larson: George = AHHHHH, GEORGE. He will never not look flawless. Sarah Larson's a very pretty girl and she has a very pretty dress, but it looks a little like...a really expensive rug.
Katherine Heigl: Flawless and gorgeous. Great hair too.
Jennifer Garner: She needed to get her hair out of her face, and she's worn better things at, like, movie premieres (hey, anyone remember The Kingdom????!!!!), but this is still a great dress. Fantastic alternative to the basic black.
Julie Christie: I love what TV Guide said about the outfit not being great, but that she still looks fantastic. It's all true. That said, the outfit would be much better without the gloves or pin, and if it came to a better point on her legs. And obviously, without the wrinkles.
Keisha Whitaker: She's gorgeous. This is much better than that dress she had last year. I love basic white/black dresses with fun, interesting details.
Keri Russell: Kind of boring, and I didn't like the hair.
Hilary Swank, Spike Lee, and Wesley Snipes: What a weird group. Anyway, I loved Hilary's dress, and Spike and Wesley looked bizarre but they should never change.
Alan Arkin & wife: Meh? I like his wife's dress but those gloves are awful. Gloves are always awful!!!
Penelope Cruz: She still doesn't do it for me. I think she looks like a chipmunk, and the dress really didn't need the part with the feathers at the knees.
Viggo Mortensen: Again, fucking with the hotness. And TV Guide's caption is too funny.
Cameron Diaz: It needed some ironing, but I really liked it. It looked really soft and pretty, and I thought it made it interesting and gave her some more curves.
P. Diddy & Faye Dunaway (!??!?!?!): Faye is actually kind of...pulling that dress off...
Daniel Day-Lewis & Rebecca Miller: Yup, what they were wearing was insane. But I and others have talked about this, so yeah.
Dennis Hopper & date: Haha, Dennis Hopper. I actually think what his date is wearing is pretty damn fantastic, even if it could be a little less baggy on the top.
Helen Mirren: Fucking amazing dress. I don't really like sleeves on dresses usually, but this was a totally great and original way to work them in. Does she ever not look amazing?
Hilary Swank: ...yeah we went over this already
Jessica Alba: It probably would have been better without the feathers, and nothing will top that gold dress she wore a few years ago, but this was still great. She's just so pretty.
Jennifer Hudson: It looked extraordinarily cheap.
Marlee Matlin: That's a totally adorable picture of her, and I like her dress (part of it is obscured, so I can't really see it).
Anne Hathaway: It's a great dress, but ... she's just not pulling it off somehow. I like to think that this is for a reason other than I just don't like her, but yeah, probably not. Anne Hathaway needs to wear less makeup; her features are already huge, and with tons of lipstick and eye makeup, she looks like a friggin' cartoon. It's only when she looks more natural that I think, "Okay, I can kinda see where people are coming from when they say she's gorgeous...sort of...okay not really, but at least she looks pretty." Yes, my inner thoughts are so complex.
Amy Adams: Loved the color and the hair (any time anyone has red hair, it is guaranteed I will love their hair), but the cut is a little...I dunno. It's good, but not amazing. But she's, you know, Jesus, so all is forgiven.
Amy Ryan: Very simple, borderline boring. If it was black, it would be a snoozer, but being navy keeps it just good enough.
Jason Bateman & Amanda Anka: Bateman is suave, and I love him and find him innately charming so I was all like :( over the use of him in Juno. Her dress is...odd. I don't like it.
Diablo Cody: Yup, it's insane. But, like Tilda Swinton, I wouldn't have expected any less.
Gary Busey & date: Busey actually looks okay for an insane man. His date's dress is awful.
James McAvoy & Anne-Marie Duff: James needs to shave and fix his hair, because he looks kind of terrible, and he'll be so much hotter (c'mon James, I've seen you do it). His wife's dress is a great color and shape, but the ruffles are bad.
Kristin Chenoweth: Is it really see-through? Yikes.
Lisa Rinna: Similar cut to Amy Adams', but way more boring because it's navy. Looking closer, though, it does have some interesting details on the bodice.
Melora Hardin: Why does she always wear insane things? (I guess it's because Jan aspires to be a whore.) This isn't as insane or unsalvagable as the SAG one, though. In fact, without the sleeves and the tassels (oh God, the tassels!), I think I would love it.
Miley Cyrus: I actually liked it. I thought it was a really pretty shade of red, but also actually age-appropriate and a cute cut. Much better than the Grammy ensemble I saw where she was wearing 2058068 pounds of makeup.
Patrick Dempsey & Jillian Dempsey: Patrick is much like the Clooney in that he's suave and always looks fantastic. Jillian's dress is kinda boring, but it's a great color.
Seth Rogen & Jonah Hill: Yeahhhh.
Saoirse Ronan: It's a nice color, but a weird cut. I don't like the sleeves or the detail under the bust.
Heidi Klum & Seal: Gorgeous couple. Her dress is kinda nuts, but I still like it...
Kelly Preston & John Travolta: John sprayed on his hair. Kelly's dress is a nice color but I hate the hem.
Tom Wilkinson & his daughter Alice: What's up with his daughter's bag? I see people carrying that thing to class every day!

THEEEEE ENDDDD.

It's Office day! I'm allowed to post non-stop about it!

Damn, look who beat everyone's favorite second-drink slurpin' lady. (by the way, next time you watch "The Dundies," watch the faces of Stanley's wife. Hilarious.)

For all ya'lls reference, using that list, from favorite to "least favorite":

Jim
Michael (#7?! COME ON, PEOPLE.)
Kevin
Andy
Pam
Creed
Dwight

Angela
Toby
Ryan (Season 1, 2, 3)

Oscar
Stanley
Kelly
Phyllis
Karen (#2?! WTF? I like Karen, but there's no way she deserved to beat MICHAEL, for God's sake)
Jan
Darryl (#5?!??!?! You people are ridiculous.)
Meredith
Ryan (Season 4)
Roy

Opinions on "Dinner Party" seem mixed. I'm pretty sure I'll love it, though. Whatever, people seem to really dislike Season 4 for petty bullshit reasons, but I still adore it.

ARRRGHHHHHHH

"Dinner Party"!!!! WHY AREN'T YOU ON NBC.COM YET?!?!??!?!?! Must...not...read...spoilers...

Conversations with people I don't know.

So today, I was walking through freshman-land of my college when...

Froshy: (walks by me with a shirt that reads "Dunder-Mifflin")
Me: OH MY GOD. I LOVE YOUR SHIRT.
Froshy: Thanks!
Me: HOW HAPPY ARE YOU.
Froshy: So happy.
Me: I KNOW.

Yes, I tend to talk in capital letters in real life.

IT'S THURSDAY, YA'LL.

Dammit, Hathaway.

You're charmin' me in this one.

Even if, in the close-up, you look a little deranged.

Interesting list.

The 100 Most Beautiful Women of 2008.

The photos and most of these women are, indeed, gorgeous. #2 should be #1 though :P

I think Anne Hathaway's picture speaks for itself as to why she should not be on the list. Marion Cotillard performs "one of the greatest acting performances ever given on screen"? Sigh. Gotta love what they say about the Winslet though :D What they say about Bryce Dallas Howard is absolutely true, too.

I should make a list of the 100 most gorgeous men in the world. Because I'm not busy enough as is.

By the end of the season, Pam and Jim will...

a. get engaged.
b. have sex.
c. elope.
d. break up.

I'm gonna go with C on this one, folks (and I'm assuming B already happened)... I don't think Pam and Jim will ever break up permanently (at least, at the end of the series, they'll be together). I mean, my God, even on the British version their equivalents eventually ended up together, and the British version was actually incredibly depressing quite a bit of the time. An engagement's a possibility, but I think Jim would be really sensitive to her feelings concerning that. Though it would be amazing if the season finale was, like, "The Dundies Again" and at the end of the show, Jim takes over and gives Pam the "Shortest Soon-to-Be Engagement Dundie" and proposes (setting a date) right there. Awwww. Okay, let me stop this post before it turns into fanfiction...

If tomorrow, there was some horrible music-targeting fire...

and, tragically, the only album left on Planet Earth was this one:

I think I'd be fine. Juuuust fine.

Spike Lee is AMAZING.

AMAZING.

Though we don't rag on The Departed 'round these parts (though of course, it isn't quite Marty's best), ya dig?

Yeah, I know it has a big "Getty Images" splashed across it...

...but I had to share this image that I found. God, they are gorgeous, they're amazing actors both, and their marriage is, to this day, still inspiring.

Whoever did this cover was not kind of an expert at PhotoShop.

They look plastic. Not to mention, like Jenna, John, and Rainn, not Pam, Jim, and Dwight.

Also, was this the "majorly spoilery" cover according to OfficeTally? Cuz...it's really not. It's just speculation we all have. It's as appropriate as "Will Jim and Pam get together???" would have been during Season 2 or 3.

Also also (teehee), PEOPLE NEED TO STOP MAKING SUCH A BIG DEAL ABOUT THE EXPRESSION ON JENNA'S FACE. It's not a still from an episode (unless it's like The Office: Barbie Edition). They're just tryin' to hype everything up. Geez.

Hi.

Valkyrie pushed back to Feb 09.

Hahah poor epic fail on Tom Cruise's part.

Oooops.

I never did post the Pulpys for Best Picture, did I? I'll get on that...soon...

Jenna Fischer in an online chat:

"Someone leaves Dunder-Mifflin at the end of the season. A series regular."
PLEASE NOT MICHAEL. OR DWIGHT. OR JIM. OR PAM. OR ANGELA. OR ANDY. (unless it's getting ready for that spin-off I talked about. ;) ) Maybe it's Ryan getting fired? HE CAN LEAVE FOREVER. THAT DOUCHE.

Oh hey. Guess who's a moron.

So I signed up to tech this play that opens Friday. Of course, this means the director needs me every day this week, and I can't really e-mail the director and be like "ummmm.... so...I can't make the rehearsal the day before the show opens, cuz I need to watch the new Office..." Dammit.

Thank God for Hulu and NBC.com ;)

I should post about movies, right? Yeah I failed to see Leatherheads or Shine a Light or My Blueberry Nights this weekend. :(

I caught the Lord of the Rings movies on TV this weekend.

a. They're still so not my cup of tea.
b. That said, damn is Fellowship one amazing movie - great fun, never boring, bringing new life to that sort of genre.
c. I want to shoot The Two Towers in the face.
d. Return of the King is really really good but has way too many endings. Jesus Christ.
e. VIGGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
f. Ian McKellen owns my life.

As this blog threatens to become a purely Office blog...

From OfficeTally, one of the greatest fan websites out there. Hmmm... is that a good wowzers or a bad one? It also makes me think there's a major happening to come in "Dinner Party," since I don't think TV Guide could get away with a huge spoiler if it hadn't already happened on the TV show.

Then, check out Season 4's spoilers on the sidebar. Pam sets Michael up on a date? I think we all know what that means, and what seems to be pretty heavily threatened by the preview to "Dinner Party" and the synopsis to "Parking"... Jan and Michael are breaking up. Goodbye, Melora Hardin. I loved your insanity.

Also, apparently in the second episode back ("Parking") something big happens with Jim and Pam, and in the fourth episode back ("Did I Stutter?"), we learn something huge about Pam that we didn't know before. Um...based on the title of the episode, I'm gonna go with she had a stuttering problem when she was a child and it's what made her so shy. Yeahhh...

OH MY GOD.

I've been watching these videos a shameful amount of times. Ahhhh, George and John...

I didn't see Leatherheads yesterday, predictably enough, which probably didn't help with its sad box office take :( :( :( And what's up with its reviews? Oh well. At least the bad ones aren't virulent, and I haven't seen one that's like JOHN KRASINSKI SUCKS. Whatever. I'm still so seeing this movie...eventually.

Also, the comments are hilarious as they are on every AOL article.

Bette Davis. Bette Davis. Bette Davis.

Bette Davis is, decidedly, in my top ten actresses of all time. I adore her like I adore Laura Linney, like I adore Kate Winslet, like I adore Meryl Streep. She had beyond charisma, but also the skills to boot. In one of my classes last year, we read The Little Foxes. It's a pretty dull play. Then, however, we watched the movie, and damn. In every imaginable way, Bette brought it to life - with nuance, passion, fire, and, again, that darn charisma (that's also the class that introduced me to Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, but that's another story for another time...). And the thing is - it's far from her best performance! I haven't seen nearly all her work, but I still love her.

I love how her IMDb bio says she was credited at times as "Miss Bette Davis," and I fully agree with this name. She should be called that. She was far from beautiful, but she gives me hope because she proves that women with real talent and spark can actually make it in the crazy film business. Happy birthday, Bette.

And another happy birthday to...

Robert Downey Jr., who I adore - he is absolutely one of my favorite actors. I still think the Iron Man trailer is kind of terrible, but I'll be there to cheer him on for certain; I'm thrilled he is clean and bankable again. Plus, he does look awesome in it, as he is awesome in everything, including the worst kind of crap (cough, Natural Born Killers, cough). Go watch that "I Want Love" music video again (full disclaimer: I can never watch it more than once, because his face is just too painful in it. I know it's a music video, but that's still an incredible performance) to celebrate.

Happy birthday, Heath Ledger.

You left us far too soon.

SORRY IT'S ANOTHER OFFICE POST... but I just couldn't resist.

Michael Gary Scott reviews There Will Be Blood.


This month I'll be reviewing a movie called "There Will Be Blood" which is not a horror film even though the title clearly states that it should be. Don't get fooled like I did. The movie's about oil. It stars newcomer Daniel Dale Uis as an oil farmer who gets rich buying a goat farm from some religious people. This may not be a completely fair review because the sound was clearly broken for the entire movie and it made the music sound like a bunch of cows dying. I complained to the manager but he lied and told me that the music was supposed to sound like that. Really, Mr. Manager? Somebody would purposely make that their soundtrack? I'm not an expert, but I've seen a ton of movies and I really don't think that's the case here.
Even if the music was perfect, I should let you know that this movie made no sense. There was barely any talking and when they were talking, you couldn't even figure out what they were saying. It seemed like a foreign film, but I know they were talking in English because I recognized the words they were using. They just made no sense. You'd be much better off staying at home and turning on the Spanish channel because you'd probably understand that a lot more and at least you get to see people trip and fall a lot, which is always funny.
If you like confusing movies about oil and history, "There Will Be Blood" is for you. If you prefer movies that you might actually enjoy, go see "Alvin and the Chipmunks." I hear it's hysterical.

What can I say? It's a merging of two of the greatest things of 2007. :)

I haven't overanalyzed the new Office titles yet.

April 10: "Dinner Party"
April 17: "Parking"
April 24: "Night Out"
May 1: "Did I Stutter?"

"Night Out" seems fun, and one of the promo shots has Dwight making out with some chick that's not Angela (YOU GO, DWIGHT!), but what's up with that last one? That's really a strange title for an episode, considering that the others almost always have to do with the main event of the episode. And a line of dialogue is never a title name. If, for example, Michael develops a stuttering problem, normally the episode would be named, originally enough, "Stuttering Problem" or something like that. Veddy veddy interesting...

And, of course:

HAHAHAHA can't wait! "Do I care that I wasn't invited to Michael's dinner party? N - *bursts into tears, runs out*"

Great romcom moment.

1:25. YAY. Rupert Everett was extremely robbed of an Oscar nomination.

IN LESS THAN A WEEK!!!!

We will have seen, according to the commercials, Michael yelling at Jan about vasectomies...and that's amazing.

Almost four years later...

...and concerning a movie I pretty much hated, this picture still makes me smile so much.

More Office talk, surprisingly enough...

NBC news.

I've only ever watched an episode of Friday Night Lights which was good but not amazing, and yeah, Scrubs has really sucked as of late, though I love the musical episode. Lipstick Jungle, from what I saw, was pretty terrible. However, let's face it. We don't really care about those other shows here in thar blog. We care about The Office.

Hour-long episodes? Yeah, I think I'm the only Office fan that didn't mind those. Every flaw that gets brought up about them - they're too dramatic and not comedic enough, they're just not funny, they're over-the-top, the characters are written wrong - I just simply don't find true. Most people who are just casual TV watchers and don't, you know, analyze the damn shows list "Fun Run" as one of their all-time favorite episodes. But... a spin-off? I'm thinking that's a no. The Office isn't really big enough to warrant a spin-off. It's not Friends. But "top secret"... hmm. Methinks this has something to do with the rest of Season 4. Maybe Jim'll quit Dunder-Mifflin and it'll be his show, but probably not; Jim is way too sane and normal to anchor a show by himself. Maybe it's Ryan's NY friends? Or Karen's branch? Eh, lame, and improbable in the case of Karen, since Rashida signed her soul over to that other show. However, if Andy and Here Comes Treble decide to go on a road trip touring the country, and that's the spin-off series, I AM SO THERE. Also, oh lord would I love to see a branch with Stephen Colbert as its manager. But...that's a cameo appearance for one episode. It shouldn't be a series. At any rate, NBC's got to have a lot of confidence to put it after the Super Bowl. That strategy is what made Survivor huge, as well as Grey's Anatomy. Hmmm...

Just in case you doubted Ed Helms could bring the amazing.

He's the definition of "totally annoying character, totally amazing performance." I actually just might like his performance better than Rainn's...and I love Dwight K. Schrute. Aside from Jim and Michael, he's certainly my favorite character.

Harold and Kumar

I really enjoyed Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. It was deliriously silly and the cameos by Chris Meloni and Neil Patrick Harris pretty much made my life. So I'm not gonna lie and pretend I'm not psyched for the sequel.

It looks deliciously politically incorrect (OMG, the part with George Bush. I'm already giggling), but more importantly, Neil Patrick Harris. AGAIN. YAY!!!!! And maybe even more importantly... did you see who was playing the translator? That's right. The man everyone's comedic God (well, everyone except me, apparently. But with Knocked Up and Walk Hard, at least he's not doing TOTALLY terrible work any more.), Judd Apatow himself says is a national treasure "but the nation does not know it yet," ED MOFOING HELMS.

Get excited, ya'll.