ANTM C13 preview & other thoughts

Amber is a NUTCASE. Like... wowwwww. I think she may be genuinely mentally unstable, oh dear. USED to be a crazy girl?! Though she does look taller than whatever her height is (she's gotta be 5'7" or shorter).

Hahaha @ the cheap makeover demonstrating thing. Brittany looks good if older, Erin looks terrible but she gets a pretty good photo out of it, that look does not work for Sundai but I'm glad they got rid of her horrendous hair in the promo shot.

Also, the individual interviews with the girls are out. So here they are, and my thoughts on these hos!

Ashley: Aw. I like her. She's cute, and she doesn't look old here like she does in the photos of her that I've seen. That's good! And that's about all I can say because she seems so boring. Oh, and NEW YORK RIOT AUDITION!!!!!

Bianca: A comment you will see over and over... what is up with these outfits? They're really hideously unflattering, and this one in particular is just bad for her boobs. Anyway, I think she's beautiful and regal and I like that she seems tough. I just need more proof that she can photograph well. I CAN'T RIDE A BIKE EITHER, HOLLA. And I loooove that little edge in "competitiveness" there, hah!

Brittany: Well SOMEONE likes talking about math and craziness. I do think she's cute, and really pretty.

Courtney: SO GENERIC, and she looks really thick here. Her voice is not what I was expecting at all, though. I was definitely expecting... well... Analeigh. Hah. She seems super tough, which I like. And damn, she broke her leg and still made it into the competition! That's devotion. To ANTM, sure, but whatever.

Erin: I am losing my original HARDCORE love for her because a few photos of her have come out and they can't even somewhat compare to her AMAZING promo shot. She looks very generic in them. That said, I still like her. I love that she is a dork who admits to playing Pokemon! And she has a cute... accent or something like that.

Jennifer: SHE LOVES MUSICAL THEATER YAAAYYY! I love how cute and enthusiastic she is. She’s also really beautiful. She reminds me a lot of Fo, so I don’t know how much of a model she will be, but she’s extremely pretty. Also, she was at the CRAZY STAMPEDE TRYOUT!!!! Oh wow. I just got to the end of her interview and… “I poop a lot.” I definitely love her now, just for freakin’ admitting that. On video. Where many, many people will see it.

Kara: HI I YELL A LOT. Along with Courtney, another person with a voice I really didn’t expect. I love that she’s dorky enough to admit she bought a plane ticket in order to try out for ANTM. Also, what an… unflattering outfit, though she does look a thousand times better than she did in her individual promo shot.

Laura: Oh, I am going to reveal what an ~East Coast Elite~ I am with this statement, but her accent might get annoying. Also, can she talk about anything but castrating bulls? Still, the fact that she was working in New York and Chicago makes me think she’s one tough cookie and I still love her look to death.

Lisa: Another unflattering outfit. I still like her, I think she’s so beautiful, but I’m pretty sure she’s a boring-ass early out. They interviewed her for like twenty seconds!

Lulu: Hah! Another one from the crazy model stampede! I love this so much. I hope they reference it like 400 times. I love how tiny she is, and I like her alien-esque face, but she seems to have awful teeth.

Nicole: She almost looks like an alien or something. Like, her head looks much bigger than it should be on her body, haha. She’s definitely a chameleon. The only problem with her many different looks is/are, 90% of the time she looks really busted. Personality-wise, she seems sweet and quiet.

Rachel: I love her more by like, the day, haha. She holds herself kind of weirdly which might hurt her in photoshoots, but I still love her look. Also, damn, that was a short-ass interview. She must be boring LOL.

Rae: These outfits keep making me laugh. Like, damn, they are the worst outfits ever and she looks so dumpy in it. She seems well-spoken but boring.

Sundai: She is ADORABLE! I kind of love her now. She’s still way too short with bad hair (and they had a preview of the makeovers on another site, and she gets RIHANNA HAIR, which looks TERRIBLE on her) and that promo shot was terrible, so maybe not totally love, but she’s really cute and funny and seems friendly. I love that she called some of the other girls “dull.” ROFL work Sundai.

Aaaand that's all she wrote.

Ugh

Every time that trailer for Fame airs and I hear "The talent agent found me on YOUTUBE!" or whatever the line is, I die a little inside.

HELL YES.

Goddamn this looks funny. I'm so excited.

Also, NEW ANTM STUFF CAME OUT TODAY! I'll post it later.

My bb Tom speaks very eloquently on this week's Top Chef

He summed up pretty much everything I thought about the whole wedding thing very well here. ILhim to bits.

Hmmm.

When I was 10 or 11 or so, I owned, and repeatedly listened to, Tori Amos' From the Choirgirl Hotel. Somehow, I doubt I knew anything that album was about. WTF?! I was a weird kid.

I was sort of right!

Voila. I was out, but I caught a re-run so yays.

That guy who was a douche was still a douche, but kind of a charming douche this week. Not to be all un-PC, but I would have never guessed those two girls would be gay!

I'm glad that one woman left. She just seemed irritating and reminded me of Ariane. I do not like Ariane. >:( Plus, she screwed up shrimp. Twice. I love shrimp. How dare you, random lady!

I like Hector, and I understand him frying that steak last week because he is not kidding when he says Hispanic people fry like 90% of their food, but how do you even make tofu ceviche? That just sounds weird... and definitely unappetizing.

Along those lines... what the eff is a guacamole macaroon? Isn't a macaroon like... a cookie... made out of coconut and shortbread? That just seems so weird to say it's a cookie. Still, the brothers are cute. Like, really cute.

Jen is still one tough broad, and I say that in the best way.

I really like... I think his name is Kevin. The really chubby redheaded guy with the big beard who won the challenge last episode. He looks just like Conan O'Brien too.

Tom Colicchio was cra-a-a-a-anky tonight. And I love 'im like that!

Top Chef predictions for tonight.

- Jen wins another High-Stakes Quickfire.
- The boys win the elimination challenge. That one guy who is a douche acts like a douche about it. If there's an individual winner, it will be one of the brothers.
- The irritating woman with the blonde hair and the weird accent who almost went home last week with that shrimp/scallop dish goes home.

Project Runway: Season 6, Episode 1.

So, the Lifetime website is weird for me. On "Rate the Runway" I can only see one outfit. That said, if you go to the individual designers' pages and look at their portfolios, then "on the runway" or whatever, you can see the photos of the dresses on the runway.

Christopher: He was the winner and though I preferred a few others, I can't really argue with the judges' choice. It was a great dress and I would wear it in a hot second, not to mention it was extremely on-trend. You could see many, many, many people wearing it at the MTV Music Awards, which it was "designed" for. I did kind of agree with the judges that the soft material looked kind of dingy and dirty... maybe he should have gone for a light rose pink or something. Other than that, though, great.

Johnny: Most people are saying this didn't deserve to be top three, and I'm not sure if I agree with that. It was very much my taste (though I'd never wear it, because... where would I wear this dress to?!). It was an extremely flattering dress in a great color that moved beautifully. I didn't think the judges' ideas of changing the color or removing the trim worked, either. I loved it the way it was.

Louise: I can tell, based on nothing, that she will probably annoy me. Anyway, this dress is pretty good. It's in a great fabric and it's a great and flattering cut, but those saddlebags or whatever, combined with the fabric and color, make it look really weighty. If the dress had been... IDK... white cotton, without the saddlebags, and had the flowers in a different color (though just one color), it would have been among my favorites.

Irina: She had my favorite dress by MILES. I don't know why this wasn't top three. Divine doesn't even begin to describe it. It was gorgeous, it moved so beautifully, it was perfectly made, as is - with no changes - it would have rocked the Oscar red carpet better than Ra'mon's (which I liked too, but we'll get to that), and it looked SO MUCH MORE EXPENSIVE than $200. Just gorgeous. I even liked the lame little ribbon, because it provided some much-needed contrast. I loved this dress!

Ari: Soooo glad she left. This outfit is a joke. It doesn't fit the challenge and it's really poorly made. That's about it.

Nicolas: I like this dress. Much like Christopher's, it would be absolutely perfect for the Video Music Awards, if not the Oscars. Also like Christopher's, it's basic with some interesting touches. And I like that his model's name is "Matar" because that's "to kill" in Spanish so she is probably a badass.

Mitchell: His name is Mitchell Hall. He looks like Michael C. Hall. I am really tempted to call him Dexter. Anyway, other than the fact that OMG HIS MODEL WAS KIND OF NAKED, this design was kind of... I don't know how to say it, exactly, but it had an edge. He deserved to be in the bottom, but I am glad he stayed, especially because I was pretty sure he was gonna be the one to go.

Shirin: I liked this dress. It wasn't top three worthy, but it was certainly cute. I loved the little... sleeve/hoodie trick or whatever it was. That said, looking at photos of it, it looks kind of cheap and I don't like the hem. But it's still cute.

Gordana: Another favorite dress. It struck me as really girly and pretty. I LOVED that structured thing at the bosom, though you need like zero boobage to wear that thing. Also, the color could have been a little bit... improved. It looked almost like a dirty blue. That said, I still really liked it. It's just a sweet dress.

Carol Hannah: This was extremely ugly and overdone. That's... about all I have to say.

Ra'mon: I really liked this dress. It had a real elegance. I agree that the color was safe, but it had enough interesting touches so that it didn't have to be some crazy color. Also, was the train just a big honking SQUARE of fabric? That's a no-no. But it was still a beautiful dress, and the details were impeccably made. I do think Irina's would have been the best dress to appear on a red carpet as is, but this dress was beautiful and appropriate too.

Logan: Ugly. Uuuuugly. It looks really cheap and wrinkly. The colors are dull, and there aren't enough details to make the dress interesting otherwise. I'm not sure I would have put him in the bottom three, but he would have been close. And I don't like the way his model was styled.

Malvin: He seems really pretentious and I didn't like his dress. It was both dull and overwrought.

Qristyl: She seems really awesome, to be honest, but her dress was not. I can see it being worn on the Emmys red carpet, but it was tacky, tacky, tacky. It was just so loud and shiny. I loved Lindsay Lohan's "uh, no" face when Qristyl said she had designed the dress with her in mind. That said, Michael Kors was practically having a conniption over the dress, when it really wasn't that bad. Not a strong entry, but I thought others were worse (the bottom two and LOGAN'S).

Epperson: I ADORED the top half... and ABHORRED the bottom half. The top half had so much drama and punch and it would have been perfect for the Oscar red carpet. The bottom half looked like a fugly, wrinkly mattress (look at the back of it, yeeeuuuch), it had that horrible... fringe... stuff... and it came down to a weird length. Plus, with the fabric color, it was a little too heavy. The top really was divine, though. It would have kept him out of the bottom for sure, for me.

Althea: Eh. It was a little too twee for me, with the color and the literal flowers and whatnot. Plus, the flowers reminded me of like... when fake flowers get dusty. They were ugly. I didn't really like this dress, but it was elegant, and not bottom three worthy for me.

With 100 episodes down...

Or at least 100 half-hours...

I think it's time to rank all the Office episodes!
I still have not seen $*(%)@ing "Two Weeks"
No explanations, because we've all seen how long that takes me :(

WORST TO BEST...
Grief Counseling
Basketball
Valentine's Day
Pilot
The Carpet
Night Out
Phyllis' Wedding
Dwight's Speech
Ben Franklin
Halloween
Hot Girl
Branch Wars
The Deposition
Employee Transfer
The Alliance
Michael's Birthday
The Fight
Boys and Girls
New Boss
Dream Team
Cocktails
Diwali
Launch Party
The Client
Performance Review
Job Fair
The Convention
Drug Testing
Conflict Resolution
Take Your Daughter to Work Day
Business Ethics (I feel like this should be lower...?)
Blood Drive
Frame Toby
Business School
The Duel
The Negotiation
Survivor Man
Safety Training
Product Recall
Dunder-Mifflin Infinity
Local Ad
Moroccan Christmas
Prince Family Paper
Golden Ticket
Lecture Circuit, Part Two
Initiation
Women's Appreciation
Health Care
The Secret
Baby Shower
Back from Vacation
Did I Stutter?
Customer Survey
Branch Closing
Heavy Competition
Broke
Crime Aid
Company Picnic
Cafe Disco
E-Mail Surveillance
Lecture Circuit, Part One
Michael Scott Paper Company
The Fire
Traveling Salesmen
Sexual Harassment
The Return
Office Olympics
20. Casino Night
19. Business Trip
18. Fun Run
17. Goodbye Toby
16. Beach Games
15. The Convict
14. Dinner Party
13. Christmas Party
12. The Surplus
11. Chair Model
10. The Merger
9. Stress Relief
8. The Injury
7. The Job
6. Booze Cruise
5. Money
4. Weight Loss
3. Gay Witch Hunt
2. A Benihana Christmas
1. The Dundies

Happy 100 :D :D :D :D :D

Hah! JUST as I finish my epic Office countdown...

THE OFFICE
GOSSIP
09-17-2009 9:00PM
MICHAEL GETS CAUGHT UP IN OFFICE GOSSIP--Michael (Golden Globe winner Steve Carell) feels left out as the rest of the office gossips about the summer interns. While Michael searches for the next juicy rumor to share, Andy (Ed Helms) struggles with heterosexuality. Rainn Wilson, John Krasinski, Jenna Fischer, Brian Baumgartner, Leslie David Baker, Kate Flannery, Mindy Kaling, Angela Kinsey, Phyllis Smith, Oscar Nunez, Creed Bratton, Paul Lieberstein, B.J. Novak and Ellie Kemper also star.

I think there's probably a lot more to this premiere than meets the eye, if "meeting the eye" means "being in the summary." Then again, IIRC, it's a half-hour premiere (I am not worried about this at all... "Casino Night" and "Gay Witch Hunt" YESSSSS). I am so excited that Andy will get a major plotline, or at least a large subplot, but I suspected he would get a bigger part this season after the success of The Hangover. Also, Andy/Oscar FTW. Now that Jim and Pam are clearly together for good - :D :D :D :D :D :D it feels SO GREAT TO SAY THATTTT!!! - they are totally my new OTP.

Twitter should somehow be involved. Just because it's Twitter. Hee! Twitter! Just say the name!

The Office S5: Top Ten Episodes.

10. Broke
The cold open. Alelulia Church of Scranton. Competent Michael. BYE-BYE CHARLES. Yeah, this episode was fantastic.

9. Crime Aid
It's very underrated, actually, in that I never see anyone talking about it. I thought this episode was super sweet and funny. I loved Michael and Holly dating. It was adorable, and we can all pretend that Jim and Pam had that whole awkward thing going on at the beginning. The auction was pure gold, and... I mean... C.R.I.M.E.A.I.D. I love it when Michael makes shit up! The only reason this episode isn't higher, actually, is... you should guess this if you know me. Fucking Roy! DIAF douchebag.

8. Company Picnic
Much like Casino Night, this episode is probably overrated because of the JAM quotient, but I still loved this episode. It was terrifically funny, it set up several interesting storylines for next season while not being all "AAAAH ZOOOOMG WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN??!?!?!??!", Michael and Holly were super understatedly sweet, and yeah, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that last scene, even if I suspected it was coming. The acting there was just gorgeous.

7. Cafe Disco
I don't like to be all "it was like S2!!!" because I hate when people toss that out to mean "it was a good episode" (like "this is so Vogue-worthy!!!" meaning "this is a good photo" in the NTM-verse), but this was a very S2 episode... with the added benefit of Jim and Pam being ENGAGED and TALKING ABOUT THEIR WEDDING SQUEEEE. Also, the scene where they were all dancing to the YMCA is one of my all-time favorites on this show. I'm sure I've said it before, but I love it so much when the office is all together having a great time.

6. Lecture Circuit, Part One
"It is your birthday" is one of few things ever that will always make me laugh out loud, no matter how many times I see it, and I loved the redemption of Karen after the awful way they portrayed her in Branch Wars. Really, that's all I needed to like this episode, but it has so much more to offer; it's just very, very funny. Oh, and I have a HUUUUGE soft spot for Michael/Pam... not in terms of a romantic thing, but just their interactions or whatever. Terrific episode.

5. Michael Scott Paper Company
Like a few others, I had my doubts about the Michael Scott Paper Company arc, especially after the depressing-fest that was Dream Team (see #22 on this list). But this episode blew all my doubts away by being one of the best episodes of all time. Like "it is your birthday," "It's Britney, bitch" is always going to make me laugh, out loud, at an embarrassing volume. The rest of the episode was also more or less fantastically funny, while seamlessly incorporating the new paper company.

4. Business Trip
I loved the Michael/Andy/Oscar business (and when is it gonna emerge that Andy's gay? Duh. To quote Michael in an episode that may or may not be #1, "Andy, you're gayer than Oscar!"), but the one thing that sent this episode far over the top for me was the Kelly/Ryan stuff. I'm sorry, but Ryan doing one-handed push-ups in order to tempt Kelly is just genius. I would like to give whoever came up with that idea a Nobel Prize in Comedy, or something.

3. The Surplus
This episode is just fucking hysterical. I heard a lot of bellyaching at the time about Pam being ~zomg so OOC~ but seeing as I'm um, the only person on the internet that doesn't pay attention to just Jim and Pam in an episode (oh sick burn? Not really), I didn't really mind. She was somewhat OOC but I understood why. Anyway, this episode was a great representative of trying to ~compromise in a group~ as well. At the time it aired, I was in a seminar and we had... um... some difficulty agreeing on things, so that added an extra dimension to the episode. Loved it.

2. Stress Relief
Like "The Surplus," sometimes you just need an episode where you laugh a lot. Also, I may have said this before, but Ed Helms really needs some kind of Nobel Prize in comedy for this episode or something. Say what you will about the cold open being over-the-top, it was also one of the funnier moments on TV, like... ever.

1. Weight Loss
Just to get this damn list finished... it was a brilliant, brilliant episode from that cheese fountain to the hospital in Costa Rica. Yes, the fact that Jim and Pam got engaged was just... the icing on the cake, but that cake was fucking delicious besides that. It was just SO well-written, funny, and sweet, and I love how all the supporting cast got a chance to shine so brightly. I suspect this one will be in my top five favorites for a long, long time. For some original reactions, see here, here, here, and of course my mega-rundown (hah, rundown!) here. Be prepared for a lot of SQUEEEEEing! Oh, and in fact, I am going to go watch the whole thing again right now. I have been inspired.

All in all, I think S5 was a very successful season that brought us some really excellent episodes and storylines. There was a lot of undeserved whining around December/January/February about OMG WHY IS THERE NOT MORE JAM, but by the time the end of the season rolled around, thankfully pretty much everyone had realized that overall, it was a great season. 28 episodes is a lot and not all were excellent (Employee Transfer? New Boss? Dream Team? Business Ethics? Blood Drive? zzzz), but none were terrible.

Great job as ever, Office. Here's to S6.

Uhhh cool story...?

So I belong to a forum where I rarely post. Like, I've been a member for maybe like 14 months and I have roughly 300 posts. Sometimes I go on posting sprees, sometimes I won't post for weeks, etc. I read the boards a lot, though. Anyway, these boards have a much-advertised "ignore feature," and you can see how many people have you ignored. I've never been ignored by anyone before, but I credit that more to the fact that I rarely post rather than the fact that I am obviously so insightful and witty that no one would want to not read what I post, hah. I don't have anyone ignored; yeah, there are some consistently annoying posters on the site, but I just roll my eyes and skip their posts.

Yesterday, according to my profile, I was ignored by 0 members.
Today, I am being ignored by 3 members.
HUH?
I didn't even make a post in the past... like... few days! I don't get it! Not that I'm so offended, it's just confusing and, to invent a term, randoza.

BOOOOO

I didn't see Inglorious Bastards. This weekend/next week? :(

Oh, and The Informant looks HYSTERICAL a la Burn After Reading. I didn't know it was supposed to be a pseudo-comedy; I thought it was supposed to be a serious spy film. And frankly, I always love Maaaaaatt Daaaaamon.

Hmmm.

Should I "recap" Project Runway? I am thinking I should.

Also, I'm watching the Top Model marathon on Oxygen right now and it's the Fuerzabruta shoot during Cycle 10, and Tyra just went "H2ohnoshedidn'tgiiiiirl!!!!" I kind of love her, I don't care.

Luuuurvely.

Here ya go. Thank you, prompt YouTube-rs.

He is dorky. He has a dorky haircut. As Dave said, he looks about 15. And I like him so much more for being dorky!

Also in random music-related thoughts

Do they say "mazel tov" in "I Gotta Feeling," or am I mishearing the lyrics? Because that'd be the best thing the Black Eyed Peas have ever, ever, ever done.

FINALLY.

Oh, Mark, you are so cute, but David Letterman is right, you kind of look fifteen, and he forgot to add that you kind of have a weird haircut. Additionally, I adore you, but that was a sucky-ass Late Show that I had to sit through for your cuteness/hotness. Still, SO CUTE. It was worth it! MCT 4 MVP y'alls


This is lame, but a random note. You know that "don't trust a ho" song, the actual name of which I can't think of right now?* Okay, why do they bleep out the ho but keep the "do the Helen Keller" line? That latter line is... way more offensive.


*I looked it up. It is "Don't Trust Me" by 30H3 or something like that.

RUN TO THE HILLS!!!!

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!

That will always remind me of those goddamn Quiznos commercials with the freakish singing creatures. Anyway!

David Letterman just asked Anna Wintour about The Devil Wears Prada. OH SHIT. Aren't you like never supposed to bring that up around her or something?!?!?!?!? Anyway, this is a hella uncomfortable interview and has generally been a bad Late Show (great great top ten list, but the opening monologues/other comedic riffing were TERRIBLE and at one point I was wondering if they would EVER END) and Tex better be at his cutest.

DAMMIT DAVID LETTERMAN.

THIS IS A BAD MONOLOGUE. PLEASE GET ON WITH IT.

I am actually excited to see a movie.

Inglorious Bastards tomorrow!!!

Haha this photo is SO awkward.

I still heart Hosea.

In unrelated news, CC Sabathia is a friggin' BEAST and I LOVE him, Derek Jeter is my favorite baseball robot, and watching Beckett get his ass smacked around is never not satisfying.

Double whoah.

Uh, here are Jim and Pam getting married.

I am starting to think that, because it's SO obvious they're getting married and NOTHING is secret, that something is going to go horribly wrong. Oh no. :( I trust the writers too much to TRULY go into that mindset, though.

Nostalgia!

This was totally my favorite movie as a kid. It's even funnier when you consider that Bill Murray actually shows up in it.

Movies I don't want to see.

Post-Grad.

OH NOS!!! She experiences minor setbacks after graduating!!! She has to move back in with her parents!!! And look for a job which I'm sure she'll have - her dream job, no less - by the end of the movie!!! And choose between two surely really cute guys!!! OMG NO!!! THE HORRORS!!!!

Yeah, I'm not bitter.

Hmmm

I like Little Children and all (read that without knowing I'm referring to the movie and that's a very different sentence hah!), but the movie's kind of dull as hell. And that's impressive to do, when your movie has many a scene, IIRC, of Patrick Wilson and Kate Winslet fucking. Also, the way it's shot and directed, there are more than a few scenes that seem straight out of a horror movie. Still boring. It's not unlike the novel The Color Purple (it took me forever to think of the title of that), which, again, IIRC, has at least one graphic lesbian sex scene, and is still a total snoozer.

Though, the last time I read it was like 11th grade, so maybe I should give it another try?

Whoah.

So... here's Pam in her wedding dress.

They are not being too much like the Fort Knox of spoilers on the set of The Office that they usually are. o_O

HAH.

Yes, this is kind of old. But I'm gonna be quoting it from now on. And I realize he's a streaky goofball, but I love me some Swish! And Tex, obviously.

This is hysterical too. I swear I am not one of those obnoxious Yankees fans who runs around screaming "BOSTON SUCKS!" Cuz they don't. They're a really good team. Scary good. Which is why I hope we massacre them and they don't make the playoffs. :D

ha ha ha.

So I'm watching Project Runway's lame and kind of unnecessary semi-ANTM spinoff, Models of the Runway, and the first words I hear out of some model's mouth are, "It looks like a space suit from space."

Oh man, I have missed ANTM's dumbassness. (weeps) It needs to come back like ASAP.

ANTM C13 predix!

Yeah, there's gonna be a double elimination somewhere, but I dunno where, so I'll just have 14 individual eliminations for now.

14. Ashley
She's forgettable and she doesn't seem to be a very good model, at least from what we've seen before. No matter how much I like her, she screams early out to me, much like Nijah did last year.

13. Courtney
If there's any sort of shoot requiring edge, she's fucked. Her early out might be wishful thinking, but there are whispers that she's an early out. I think she's either a very early out, or she'll get eliminated during the go-sees episode overseas (haha, go-sees are going to be HILARIOUS this cycle).

12. Sundai
I think Tyra and maybe some of the other judges will love her, but her photos will just be too bad and her looks too pedestrian to let her get very far. If she gets a makeover to edge her out, though, like C11's Sam, she might get a lot farther, like overseas farther.

11. Lisa
I love her, but I think the judges will suddenly spring the "OMG WHERE IS YOUR PERSONALITY?" line on her. That, and her body's kind of weird.

10. Kara
I just don't see her getting that far. I don't think she'll take great photos and she looks old. Plus, if it wasn't for her crazy fans on some boards I read, I'd find her forgettable.

9. Rae
Obligatory "eliminated for resting on pretty" girl. Again, though, like Sundai, if she gets an edgy makeover, she will probably make it overseas. Either that, or she's getting the Rebecca treatment, where they decide she's boring and pretty-pretty early on, and never really change their minds.

8. Rachel
I think she'll have an awesome portfolio, but she'll mess up slightly on one shoot and it's goodbye. Or she doesn't show enough personality and the judges don't think she wants it or something dumb. My point is, I think her elimination will be BS.

7. Laura
She's got great potential in my mind, but she was also Voted Most Likely to Fuck Up a Commercial Because of Her Accent, Y'All. By... well... me.

6. Brittany
If she really is a crazy bee-yotch, then she will get far, but not too far. Heh. You know it's true. I think she'll get fairly far based on her strong potential, anyway.

5. Lulu
I think she'll be the "personality" girl who all the judges will be in love with, but her photos will only be okay.

4. Erin
She'll be awesome, but they always have to have some elimination that doesn't make any sense. Well, I have seen candid photos of her on one of the boards I read, and she's less impressive in them than she's been in her promo photos, so maybe she'll be eliminated for "not being a model in person" or something.

3. Bianca
I really think she's going to suck and photograph really harshly and old. But honestly, there's one of those that gets way too far almost every cycle (Keenyah, Kim, Jaeda/Eugena, Natasha, Bianca/Heather/Saleisha, Dominique/Katarzyna, Elina, and I liked Aminat more than most but yeah, Aminat...). Seeing as Bianca seems to have the tragic backstory (she shaved her head after an abusive relationship of hers ended), I think she'll be the one this cycle.

2. Nicole
Just because I'm not sure if Tyra can resist a redhead/Asian F2. I think she might be cute and quirky, and the judges always let those girls go to the F2 but no farther. Plus, GOD, another Nicole can't win. This is ANTM, you know they have rules like that!

1. Jennifer
ONE TIME FOR THE AAAAA-SIANS!!!! Then again, didn't everyone think this about Sheena, too? Hmm.




Don't forget to make this one of your favorites so you can laugh at me when this cycle is over and, like, Courtney won. EW.

ANTM C13: Us Weekly promo

AIEEEEE.

From left to right: Sundai, Nicole, Laura, Erin, Lulu, Jennifer, Brittany, Courtney, Bianca, Rae, Kara, Ashley, Rachel, Lisa.

Ashley
I'm still getting first out vibes from her. She just seems kind of blah and forgettable, and though she's pretty, she's still photographing old. And she looks tired.

Bianca
It's more than likely the worst photo here. Her face is totally blank, minus the weird angry expression, and the pose is, as Miss Jay would say, the "black girl in the ghetto" pose or whatever it is. I really think she'll be the worst girl... but I'm pretty sure she'll make it overseas, too.

Brittany
Her face is just so beautiful, but I'm not that crazy about this photo. She looks kind of hesitant, and that's not really a flattering angle for her body. It makes her look wider than she really is. That said, she's still got one hell of a face... she's basically a blonde Samantha C8, and her face was awesome.

Courtney
I still don't get it. :( She looks weird and unfocused, or something. This photo makes her look short and dumpy, too. Unless she does better on the show, I really hope she's an early out.

Erin
Love her face, love her pose, love her. I really just think she has awesome bone structure. Hopefully she's this good on the show!

Jennifer
Her head is tipped at kind of an unflattering angle, but other than that, I do like it. She looks strong and even though she's kind of hidden, I like her pose. Or maybe I'm just saying that because I assume she's gonna be the winner and I'm bracing myself for it, hah!

Kara
This photo is MUCH better than her promo photo. Her face looks great, if still kind of old, and I love her pose. She'll definitely bring the attitude to her photoshoots, hah.

Laura
Like Jennifer, that's a really unflattering angle for her face, but I still think her face is just amazing. I still love her.

Lisa
She's really underrated. I think she's an early out, but she's just got a gorgeous face. I love how delicate her pose is, and I just think she has a gorgeous face. Not necessarily a model's face, but she's just got a beautiful face.

Lulu
See, this is the "simple strength" all ANTM girls should aspire to in their photoshoots. I love this photo, and I love Lulu.

Nicole
10000000x better than that "DURRRRR" expression she has in her promo shot! She really looks like Alya here, who was a very strong contestant on one of the foreign NTMs and who had a really unique face. She definitely seems like a chameleon; in every photo/screencap I've seen of her, she looks different (though, unfortunately, a lot of the time, she looks REALLY busted). IDK, I'll have to see how she does on the show...

Rachel
I like her more and more as the premiere gets closer and closer. As for this photo, minus the fact that she looks hella short, I LOVE IT. That face is just amazing! On a negative note, damn, she really looks like a midget.

Rae
Whoah. I'm pretty sure she's gonna be the obligatory booted-for-resting-on-pretty girl, but, other than the fact that her body's mostly hidden (which might be a good thing, considering how chunky-ish she looks in her promo shot :( ), this is a great photo. She looks like a more conventionally pretty version of Anya.

Sundai
Ehhh... at least the HORRIBLE HAIR is hidden, but her cheeks are just too chubby. I really don't think she's got much of anything.


PREDICTIONS NEXT!!!! WOOOOOO

in which I admit to watching David Letterman

So my dad is really into David Letterman's show and he always watches it, and goes on and on about how funny it is. And it usually is. Really. The only issue is that The Colbert Report, which is even funnier, is on at the same time, and I can't get over the fact that I feel about 47 years old watching David Letterman.

And then.

I found out about this.

Oh yeah. There's at least one reason to watch Letterman over Colbert on Monday. SEXY TEXY!

Sometimes, cheesy YouTube videos are just... awesome.

Enjoy. (sniffle)

YAY RICK BAYLISS!!!!! I LOVE HIM!!!!!

So I don't forget...

Tomorrow I'll comment on the ANTM C13 girls in their Us Weekly spread.

Dammit, if only these girls weren't so short, because they're so stunning! And from what I hear, there is a fair amount of crazy. IT'S GONNA BE A GREAT CYCLE Y'ALL.



ETA: Okay, I got side-tracked today. Tomorrow. :)

TOOOOOP CHEEEEEFFFFF!!!!!

IT'S TOTES BACK EVERYONE.

As for the premiere:
a. LOL with the guy making his meal based on boobs.
b. Ron and Jen (I think those are their names?) own. Even though Ron has no idea what a "sin" is or whatever.
c. NICE FAKEOUT WITH THAT COMMERCIAL, THERE, BRAVO. GOD.
d. I think they eliminated the person they did so I didn't have to stare, horrified, at her earrings any more.

Hey Rick Bayliss!

So I'm finally watching last week's episode of Top Chef: Masters from the beginning and DAMMIT, Rick, stop making guacamole if you're not going to bring it to my house, like, right now.

OMG TOMORROW IS A TOP CHEF DAY OF WONDERFULNESS YAAAAYYY

I saw a movie! Really, I did! From 2009!

(500) Days of Summer. I am not sure why the 500 is in parentheses, unless, I dunno, parentheses-happy me came up with that. Hah.

Basically, if you have an idea about an indie film in your head, it's this film. The great soundtrack of bands you've never heard of, the cutesy handrawn credits, the quirky indie girl, the smart-talking young kid... and the male lead was the woobiest of all woobies that has ever woobied.

As I said, great soundtrack, though. That scene with "You Make My Dreams" was totally awesome, too (I just saw some website whining about how it was "a celebration of heteronormativity" - huhhh? You know, I'm not like "YAY HETERONORMATIVITY" but men and women have relationships in which there's sex! It's true! It happens between two men and two women sometimes, too! And sometimes even more! That is a shocker, I know!). And it's better than Once.

It was also rather emotionally true... but I don't really want to go into that cuz it'd be kind of TMI, so just take my word for it.

Monday morning lolz.

How I never saw this before (when I can probably sing my way through the first one - HEY, I WAS A CAMP COUNSELOR FOR 7- AND 8-YEAR OLDS THE YEAR IT WAS POPULAR. LEAVE ME ALONE.), the world may never know.

Rule of life:

Almost everyone secretly likes Les Miserables. NPH (not surprising), Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, Mark Teixeira...

Hmmm

So how many times have I heard the goddamn Macarena? A lot. In summer 1996, I was at a camp (which I will someday doubtlessly write a memoir about, oh boy), and I heard it approximately 2086420860498609486 times at camp alone. The song's partially in Spanish, a language I'm really familiar with. WHY DO I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE LYRICS ARE?!

I feel ashamed categorizing this under "music." Because... it's the Macarena.

Heh.

I have the same UC Santa somethingorother Banana Slugs shirt that John Travolta wears at one point in Pulp Fiction. Woooooo! I just love that mascot.

So you know what's like the most depressing song?

"Miami 2017." It's like... about the aftermath of "99 Red Balloons" and what the hell happened to everyone.

Since I'm apparently in an especially Yankees mood as of late, the lines about Norfolk sending a carrier out and buying the Yankees always make me both get goosebumps and tear up.

MY BB IS BACK.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Rod Blagojevich's Quest for Rock Bottom
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Spinal Tap Performance

The entire Daily Show yesterday was amazing; you should be watching it right now.

ANTM C13 midgets!!!!

Warning: farkin' big images! First, let me just say that these girls are, almost uniformly, really, really pretty. No one has a horrible promo shot like Tahlia, London, Jessica, and Kortnie last cycle. There will be a minimum of bitching and a maximum of nitpicking.

Ashley

Is it bad that my first thought was, “those pants are pulling at an unflattering area on her crotch”? Anyway, she seems really hated, but I don’t think she’s so bad. I love her skin and her hair, and her proportions are really good. She just looks really pedestrian, kind of oldish, and her expression is sour. It looks like she might photograph harshly if she’s not careful. But I do like her! I think she's destined to be an early elimination, though.

Bianca

She looks like Nnenna, so I love her... but she also looks like C9 Bianca, so I hate her. :P Eh, she's okay. Anyway, this isn’t a very good photo. I don’t mind the shaved head (I’m already ROFLing thinking about what they’re gonna do to her for the makeover though. BAD WIG AHOYYYYYY), but it’s just such a harsh, harsh expression on her face and she looks old. And compared to Nnenna, she just ain't that great. Though she has been in a commercial for like .02 seconds where she looked really gorgeous. At the very least, I can laugh at her shoes here.

Brittany

According to ~some random person that knows her on ONTD~, she brings the crazy. YAY! Anyway, other than that, I think she’s stunning. Her outfit is really cute (though it kinda gives her some HIPS, though it’s not terrible), she’s got great legs, hair, and facial bone structure. She reminds me of Meaghan, the most recent winner of CNTM, only maybe even more stunning. I can’t believe she’s only 5’5”!

Courtney

Everyone loooves her, and I just... don't get it. Like, I've heard one of the biggest, most annoying Analeigh detractors jizzing all over Courtney's "classically beautiful" face. Really? I mean, she's pretty, but she's not a stunner. She looks like what her occupation is, an obnoxiously perky (not that I'm not guilty of this myself at times, frankly) cheerleading captain. Like that pose is kind of silly, and it's a fail combined with the big cheesy smile on her face. She totally doesn’t look 5’4” though. Great legs.

Erin

Woowwwwwww. This photo is AMAAAAAZING. Right now, she’s obviously the best girl, which probably means she’ll suck on the show (Heather, Hannah, Sandra, Adele...). Damn, she is stunning! She looks so tall and willowy, and her face is flawless. Seriously, she’s got one of the best faces ever on this show. It’s too bad her gorgeous hair will undoubtedly get cut off by Tyra for makeovers. And she’s 5’6” so… not that short!

Jennifer

O hai Asian who will probably win. Actually, I shouldn’t say that, because let’s face it, that’s what everyone said about Sheena. Anyway, she’s cute and, like many of the girls, gorgeous, but she’s just so commercial to the point where she’s hardly even a model, like the worst aspects of Fo last year. Plus, thunderthighs. That said, I think she could benefit from an edgy haircut and maybe she takes a hella fierce photo. I like her a lot more than this “review” would indicate!

Kara

Uhhh… well, it’s nice for Kortnie that she got down to “normal” model size, changed her name (Kortnie to Kara… you ain’t foolin’ me, lady ;) ), and tried out for this season. She’s got a great body, but I don’t like the expression on her face at all and she looks old. That said, the promo in Us Weekly just came out and wow, she looks fantastic there. Maybe I was wrong about this one… but until the show airs, I’m just gonna keep saying I don’t like her. :P

Laura

Hardly anyone talks about her, but I think she’s my second favorite, after ERIN ERIN ERIN ERIN ERIN. Her pose is cute, she’s super long and lean (or at least looks it), I wear that outfit more or less every day, and I think her face is just awesome. Seriously, tell me that face isn’t positively perfect for the industry. Oh, and apparently she’s a hick that castrates cows! What else could you want.

Lisa

HEY I AM AN AEROBICS INSTRUCTOR EVERYONE. Seriously, that pose, lols. Anyway, I think she’s cute and she’s got a gorgeous face, but she seems extremely commercial, like a lot of the other girls. Maybe she’ll surprise me and photograph interestingly, though… I don’t know, I just like her. A lot, too. It’s unfortunate that she’s kinda chunky, but I just think her face is freaking divine, and faces will matter a lot for these girls.

Lulu

She’s been featured in one of the commercials, where she looks hella busted. Like, I love Isis, but Isis-level busted. Here, though, I like her, despite the fact that it’s kind of a weird and awkward picture. She’s really tiny, and she totally looks like Chanel Iman. Based on the commercials, she’s gonna be really fun personality-wise, too. And her name is LULU!

Nicole

Um… here’s the thing. I WANT to love her. She looks SO tall (she’s already one of the taller ones, at 5’7”, but she looks way taller than that here) and skinny, she’s almost a smidgen like Cintia Dicker ZOMG, and she’s been in one of the commercials where she looks like Nicole C5. Like Erin, she’s got a great face. The only thing is, she totally reminds me of Adele. And we all know Adele took freaking KILLER pre-show shots, then SUCKED on the show. So, for now, Nicole...

Bitch got her own Colbert macro! She should be grateful. ;)

Rachel

Uh… it looks like she’s got one great little body and she strikes me as adorable, but that face! She looks like a frog crossed with Jimmy Fallon. Though for some reason, I feel like she’s going to be a killer model with a serious chameleon quality, and this is just a bad photo of her face. And sure enough, she looks really pretty and angelic in the Us Weekly promo.

Rae

She’s pretty, but she strikes me as just a bit too chunky. I don’t really remember her all that much. I can’t believe she’s a mom, though! Oh, and I’ve seen quite a few “OMG CLARE IS BACK!!!” No. Just… no. Eh, I think she’s one of my least favorites. I mean, she’s pretty, but she’s not as pretty as some other girls and it’s not really a model’s face. These girls really need model faces. And her proportions just seem… off for modeling. Hot in real life though, no doubt, especially because SHE’S A MOM!

Sundai

Obligatory Silly Name Brigade. Also LOL @ the fact that she’s the shortest one there, at 5’3”. F all y’alls’ I, that’s four inches taller than I am. That said, despite looking pretty tall for 5’3” (great legs!), I’m just not crazy about her face. She looks HARSH. There’s been a lot of “she looks just like Ebony C9!” and… no. Jesus cries over you saying that! Her hair is just a mess, too. This one needs a makeover, stat. I think she’s my least favorite…

My ranking of the girls, subject to change, keeping in mind no one is really terrible:
1. Erin
2. Laura
3. Lisa
4. Brittany
5. Lulu
6. Jennifer
7. Rachel
8. Nicole
9. Ashley
10. Bianca
11. Rae
12. Courtney
13. Kara
14. Sundai

I'll do elimination predictions later. YAAAAY I love 14-girl seasons!!!

YES.

That last post I made just reminded me of who I always think Hubert Keller on Top Chef: Masters (and other assorted cooking shows and whatnot) is like: Jean Valjean, but like, Jean Valjean who will kill you. Cuz Hubert kind of terrifies me.

Oh HELL yes.

Via a citation on Wikipedia:

There's more to Mark Teixeira than just baseball. While promoting his work with the National Foundation for Cancer Research/Coppertone’s “Help Strike Out Sun Damage” program, the Yankee first baseman confessed he’s a big fan of the Great White Way. “My favorite musical of all time is ‘Les Miserables,’” he said. “But ‘Phantom of the Opera’ and ‘Miss Saigon’ are great too!”

So I guess we're pretty much dating now! Or not.

so I'm not putting up my random comments tonight

But I promise I won't read fourfour before I do so that you don't read the same comments as, I dunno, every other blogger because everyone thinks he is ZOMG SO FUNNY and pretty much copies exactly what he says. Not that I'm really trying to be funny, or that people looking for SERIOUSLY busted girls will find much in this group other than the fact that they're MIDGETS!!!!

Okay, let me say it now so you guys don't have to hear it 80000 times. I will probably mockingly refer to this as the ~Midget Cycle!!!!~ as many times as possible. I just think that's hysterical. But the girls on this cycle actually aren't all that short overall. The average height is probably somewhere between 5'5" and 5'6", due to all the girls that are 5'6" and 5'7". THAT'S STILL SIX TO SEVEN INCHES TALLER THAN I AM! It just makes me laugh.

YAY, MIDGETS!!!!

Thoughts on the C13 girls later!!!! WOOOOOO

Sometimes I really love Kathy Griffin.

She totally took Levi Johnson to the Teen Choice Awards, which... I have no idea how she managed that one, but well-played, Kathy. Well-played.

BTW posting may be down this week. Not that anyone really cares.

I would have this picture saved.

Yeah.

Um, yeah.

ESPN was interviewing him after the game and he was all sweaty and... yeah.

I think this is what they like to call "satisfaction"

OMG.

Porn!

Food porn, you pervs. NOM NOM NOM.

Heh, nothing is more awkward than when you're at a friend's house and she's going to YouTube on her computer and YouPorn pops up as a suggestion in her visited sites...

Ergh...

Derek Jeter, you know, I think you're totally adorable and obviously you're, you know, good at baseball and all that (I'm GETTIN' OUT THE BROOMS for tomorrow night ;) ), but OH MY GOD YOUR CAR OR WHATEVER ELSE COMMERCIALS ARE PAINFUL. Like, ANTM girls trying to do a commercial-level painful.

The thing is, when I see Jeter talking to the press after games or whatever, he's always extremely well-spoken and very classy. He doesn't come off like a monotone robot, like he does in every one of his numerous commercials. Maybe having him read off a cue card is a terrible idea? IDK.

you know...

Tropic Thunder just can't hold my interest past the first half hour or so. =/ Honestly, the movie never lives up to those fake trailers!

So

Epic Movie really is that bad. Yikes.

ETA: Wait, I apparently already saw it? Maybe I blocked it out. Anyway, knock that D way down to an F, yup.

August 19!!!

Not only does regular Top Chef come back (I'm not excited at the fact that it'll be in cheesy Las Vegas, oh well, IT'S STILL TOP CHEF!), but it's the finale of Top Chef Masters, with the past winners of Top Chef judging! Yay Hosea!

Okay, I can't pretend he's my favorite Top Chef winner, even to spite the idiots. I love every winner except Ilan.

Y'know...

If Obama is ~going to enslave the white race~ can he just do it already, because I am sick of studying for the GRE.

I really shouldn't read TWoP.

Cuz I went there just to read about Top Chef Masters and FFS people can you not overanalyze everything?!?!?!? At least they're being moderately positive about the series, as opposed to "ZOMG BOREFEST!!!" But seriously, they all HAAAAATE Art Smith, and... how the hell do you hate him?! He is wonderful!!!

ELIMINATION ORDERS NTMs & MMaS alike.

Without explanations right now, because they would take too long.

America's Next Top Model

Cycle 1
10. Tessa
9. Shannon
8. Nicole
7. Ebony
6. Kesse
5. Katie
4. Robin
3. Elyse
2. Giselle
1/WINNER. Adrianne

Cycle 2
12. Anna
11. Xiomara
10. Heather
9. Bethany
8. Camille
7. Sara
6. Jenascia
5. Mercedes
4. Yoanna
3. Catie
2. Shandi
1/WINNER. April

Cycle 3
14. Magdalena
13. Eva
12. Julie
11. Jennipher
10. Kristi
9. Ann
8. Kelle
7. Leah
6. Amanda
5. Toccara
4. Cassie
3. Norelle
2. Nicole
1/WINNER. Yaya

Cycle 4
13. Keenyah
12. Noelle
11. Lluvy
10. Tatiana
9. Sarah & Brandy
8. Tiffany
7. Brita
6. Brittany
5. Naima
4. Michelle
3. Rebecca
2. Christina
1/WINNER. Kahlen

Cycle 5
13. Sarah
12. Coryn
11. Kim
10. Ebony
9. Lisa
8. Bre
7. Kyle
6. Ashley
5. Nik
4. Jayla
3. Cassandra
2. Nicole
1/WINNER. Diane

Cycle 6
13. Brooke
12. Kari
11. Wendy
10. Gina
9. Jade
8. Kathy
7. Mollie Sue
6. Sara
5. Furonda
4. Leslie
3. Joanie
2. Nnenna
1/WINNER. Danielle

Cycle 7
13. Jaeda
12. Eugena
11. Monique
10. Megg
9. Christian
8. Anchal
7. Megan
6. Brooke
5. Melrose
4. AJ
3. Michelle
2. Amanda
1/WINNER. CariDee

Cycle 8
13. Whitney
12. Natasha
11. Cassandra
10. Sarah
9. Diana
8. Kathleen
7. Jael
6. Dionne
5. Samantha
4. Renee
3. Felicia
2. Brittany
1/WINNER. Jaslene

Cycle 9
13. Mila
12. Bianca
11. Saleisha
10. Heather
9. Janet
8. Ambreal
7. Kimberly
6. Ebony
5. Sarah
4. Victoria
3. Jenah
2. Lisa
1/WINNER. Chantal (I'm constantly switching numbers 1-4 FYI)

Cycle 10
13. Atalya
12. Stacy Ann & Dominique
11. Kimberly
10. Marvita
9. Allison
8. Katarzyna
7. Fatima (ZOMG WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!?!)
6. Lauren
5. Whitney
4. Amis
3. Aimee
2. Claire
1/WINNER. Anya

Cycle 11
14. Clark
13. ShaRaun
12. Nikeysha
11. Samantha
10. Hannah
9. Isis
8. Joslyn
7. Elina
6. Sheena
5. Brittany
4. McKey
3. Marjorie
2. Lauren Brie
1/WINNER. Analeigh

Cycle 12
13. Tahlia
12. Jessica
11. Kortnie
10. Isabella
9. Natalie
8. Nijah
7. London
6. Fo
5. Sandra
4. Aminat
3. Celia
2. Allison
1/WINNER. Teyona (I'm constantly switching #1 and #2, argh)


Australia's Next Top Model

Cycle 1
10. Allana
9. Naomi
8. Simmone
7. Nicole
6. Shannon
5. Atong
4. Zoe
3. Samantha
2. Gemma
1/WINNER. Chloe

Cycle 2
12. Sacha
11. Sarah & Natalie
10. Rebecca
9. Sophie
8. Jessica
7. Hiranthi
6. Eboni
5. Caroline
4. Simone
3. Louise
2. Madeleine
1/WINNER. Lara

Cycle 3
13. Cobi
12. Jaimi
11. Jane
10. Kara-Lee
9. Cassandra
8. Jordan
7. Danica
6. Steph F.
5. Steph H.
4. Sophie
3. Anika
2. Paloma
1/WINNER. Alice

Cycle 4
13. Belinda
12. Leiden
11. Kristy
10. Emma
9. Jamie
8. Rebecca
7. Alexandra
6. Kamilla
5. Alamela
4. Alyce
3. Demelza
2. Samantha
1/WINNER. Caris

Cycle 5
13. Leah
12. Adele
11. Georgie
10. Franky
9. Laura T.
8. Eloise
7. Laura M.
6. Tahnee
5. Cassi
4. Madison
3. Lola
2. Mikarla
1/WINNER. Clare


Make Me a Supermodel

Season 1
14. Jay
13. Dominic
12. Sarah
11. Katy
10. Ben
9. Frankie
8. Casey
7. Jacki
6. Perry
5. Aryn
4. Ronnie
3. Stephanie
2. Holly
1/WINNER. Shannon

Season 2
16. Ken
15. Laury
14. Chris
13. Shawn
12. Karen
11. CJ
10. Gabriel
9. Jordan
8. Amanda
7. Mountaha
6. Branden
5. Colin
4. Salome
3. Kerryn
2. Jonathan
1/WINNER. Sandhurst

Urgh...

Is a second Sex and the City movie really necessary? Yes I know it made a grajillion dollars, but I know it's just gonna be the same as the first; Carrie and Big will break up in some dramatic fashion, then get back together at the end. ZZZZ. Oh, and according to Us Weekly, they're shooting in the UAE. What the hell?

Oh, and if they break up Charlotte and Harry for drama, heads are going to fucking roll. You hear me, writers?!

Oh DEAR.

I didn't know Robert Downey Jr.'s character in Tropic Thunder was (mostly) based off of Heath Ledger. I assumed it was Russell Crowe. As TV Tropes would say, FUNNY ANEURYSM MOMENT!

The Birthers wish Obama a happy birthday.

Also, Joe (the) Biden is on Ellen! Though clearly it's a rerun from before the election.

It's someone's birthday...

Happy birthday, Barry. :D :D :D :D :D

I think that last one is my favorite GIF of all time...

Whoah.

Definitely, Maybe is kind of... an incredibly irritating movie. ETA: And now that it's over, that was like... such a dumb ending. It doesn't help that MEGAHOTTIE Ryan Reynolds looks about half Elizabeth Banks' and Rachel Weisz's (though she's like, the most gorgeous thing on the planet, let's face it) age, and looks like he could be Isla Fisher's uncle.

Though all the Clinton nostalgia and whatnot gets me all thinkin' about my pseudo-campaigning for Barry O. Awwwwww. <3333

Oh man.

Inglorious Bastards has begun showing ads on TV. These ads include Brad Pitt with a laughable accent and what appears to be Hitler played for camp. I CANNOT WAIT.

you know...

The portrayal of feminists in Veronica Mars wasn't all that incorrect and that's all I'm gonna say about it.

What. WHAT.

Yes, I know, Rule 34, but STILL.

I totally just listened to this and cried like a lot.

:(

*sniff*

Crowning Moments of Heartwarming from the movies.

Also,

Oh God, until I read that site's Funny Aneurysm Moments, it didn't even occur to me how fucking sad it'll be to watch Love Actually again and see poor Liam Neeson as a man mourning over his wife's death. Oh God. Oh God. (curls up in a corner, cries everywhere)

So I'm an idiot.

I went to Television Tropes (GREAT site) and for some reason read the "High-Octane Nightmare Fuel" sections on The Legend of Zelda and the like and OH GOD NEVER SLEEPING. CRRRYYYYYYYYY.

Oh, dear lord.

You know... I clearly like John Krasinski. He is lovely and all that, and I've definitely had mini-picspams of him here, as well as *squee*ing over him. But Jesus H., there are some megacreepy women out there when it comes to him. o_O

I don't need to read the reviews for Funny People.

The mainstream reviews will be all OMG JUDD APATOW PLEASE LET US BE YOUR LOVE SLAVES YOU ARE SO AMAZING. Entertainment Weekly will probably have an ALL JUDD APATOW issue... which will differ from its normal issues in name only.

A few feminist critics will be like RAGE RAGE RAGE SEXIST MISOGYNISTIC PATRIARCHY HEGEMONY RAGE RAGE RAGE ARRRRGGHHHH.

And everyone will ignore the fact that the movie is probably stupid and not all that funny, a la Freaks and Geeks and The 40-Year-Old Virgin (I've decided I officially like Knocked Up). That said, the "Were you mad when you died at the end of Die Hard?" line that they keep playing in the trailer is really funny, but nothing else in the trailer is. And when the trailer, which always has about 85% of the funniest lines in the movie, isn't funny........

Huh?

So I'm watching what is the second season of Rock of Love, and considering Rock of Love: Bus was the third season, this is pretty... amazing. Apparently living on a bus releases skankiness, because honestly, these girls are not so bad. Their hair looks at least somewhat natural. They're not wearing so much makeup it's laughably obvious. They may have natural breasts; at any rate, they're not 32FFFFFFs or whatever, and spilling out of ridiculous tops. One girl just got puking, falling over drunk and the other girls are treating it like she needs to be cared for, not like "ZOMG TOTAL FUN TIMES!!!!! I'M GONNA PUKE THEN IMMEDIATELY AFTER MAKE OUT WITH BRETT!!!!" And some of them are wearing sweaters. What the efffff?

This is not quite the skantastic Rock of Love that I... love.

You know your life is sad when

So today I watched Mamma Mia! on HBO and MST3Ked it... by myself. And the thing is, I was really funny! Like, I need to record it and put it up on teh UToobz or whatevs.

But yeah. My life is sad. JOBS, BECOME AVAILABLE.

Haha.

Encore (the film channel) is trying to promote Jerry Bruckheimer. "Hey! I did Armageddon! Come see G-Force!" WTF. No.

On the other unrelated hand, The Daily Show and The Colbert Report have been pretty great this week.

BOO. CRY.

That ANTM thing I was doing will be even more pushed back or whatever because the owner of ANTMMain closed down the site, claiming it was too hard to keep up with or whatever. Huh? It's a Blogspot website! I understand if the guy who maintained it didn't want to update it and put up a blog post indicating that, but he should have just kept up all the pictures he already had. ;_; I mean, it's Blogspot! I've been using this for years now (even though it is now ~passe~ and I should be on Twitter or whatevs), and it's really easy to maintain, as in, you do not have to maintain it at all. :(

Watchin' Top Chef Masters...

...which I may have said I've really come to enjoy, but anyway, Hubert Keller just made some kind of crazy shrimp and lobster cappuccino or something. Whuhhhh??? How do you make that, and how do you not PUKE over it?

Anyway, Rick Bayless FTW
(Don't mind me, I learned to tinypic those like a week ago so I'm all excited about it)

Bradley Cooper.

Why does he always play an asshole? Hmmm.

YAYYYYY

I didn't realize Emily Blunt actually hadn't been cast in Iron Man 2, and my girl ScarJo had been instead. WOOT. This is gonna be awesome.

ETA: Oh wait, I actually did post about this, in March, in a blog entry with an almost identical title. Guess I forgot. Whatever, it's gonna be awesome anyway!!!!

OH MY GOD YES

"Trapped in the Closet" is running on IFC. Combined with this and Bill Kristol's thorough OWNING by Jon Stewart (I don't think Jon's way of interviewing, where he's constantly interrupting, is necessarily the best, but you know what? Kristol got us into the Iraq War. He got us Sarah Palin. Fucker deserves it as opposed to, like, poor Cameron Diaz.), this is clearly the among the BEST NIGHTS EVER.

Oh. Oh... dear.

I'm watching Ten Things I Hate About You on commercial TV or whatever. And... all of Heath Ledger's appearances have been totally edited out of this version. Look, Heath Ledger's death is really sad. It's still kind of hard to watch Brokeback Mountain. But instead of hiding the fact that he was in certain movies (and having them make no gorran sense), shouldn't we celebrate the contributions he made to his art?

But even worse is, during this ~HEATH LEDGER MUST NOT BE SEEN~ version of Ten Things, they had a commercial break... with a Billy Mays commercial. Um.

More in "awesome shows I don't watch but maybe need to"

Guh, I love that poster SFM. I really need to watch this show.

RANDOM NOSTALGIA!!!!

you know what was the shit? Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVEEEEEE

When I beat that game, it was like... the greatest day ever.

Also, oh God, I am voluntarily watching Mamma Mia!. Ohgodohgodohgodwhat????

whoah

So whoever told me to watch Dexter (that would be EVERYONE I HAVE EVER KNOWN), you were right. It's really great. WHOAH.

Like, REALLY good. REALLY good. Except now they're talking about ComicCon or something and they have all these crazy people that are like "I LOVE DEXTER I WANNA HAVE SEX WITH HIM!!!!!!" and... um... no.

deleted

nevermind.

Had to be said.

Na na na na

Na na na na

Hey hey hey

GET THE FUCK OUT, LADY!!!!

(I changed a line somewhere in there. See if you can find it! Uh-oh, I think she might come to this webpage and sue me now!)

I think

the guy from Forgetting Sarah Marshall (the one who plays the protagonist, not the greasy man-slut musician) is like, perfect for me. Ugh. Come date me, guy who I think is also on How I Met Your Mother! (or wait, I kind of already have a boyfriend. Whatevs. Do it anyway!)

You know, I hate to be an asshole, but...

I keep seeing this everywhere, and all I can think is, "Yeah, it's cute. But is having a wedding with Chris Brown prominently featured the best idea for your future marriage?"

Oh God. I'm an asshole. :(

BAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA

Via Gawker: You'll Never Guess Orphan's Surprise Ending, Because It's Completely Ridiculous.

Spoilers for the actual ending of Orphan, for those who care.

Now, I read a lot of funny stuff on teh internetz. This is the funniest thing I've read in weeks. That's all.

Tahnee... HATERS STEP OFF!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not delusional. I don't think she's going to ~change the industry~ and I recognize that her body isn't right for the industry, right now.

But holyfuckherfaaaaace. If girls this gorgeous, this special, can't get work, I think it really says something fucked up about the fashion industry. And that's all, and I'm tired of people running around boards going on and on and on about how Tahnee is hideous and has no potential.

Watching Bravo's live show that they play on midnight sometimes...

And GODDAMMIT I LOVE IZAAC MIZRAHI SO MUCH. I JUST DO. DON'T MAKE ME JUSTIFY IT. I want him to be my BFFL so we can get drunk but not sloppy and then be cleverly bitchy together. Also, he can design all my clothes.

Oh, and congrats Anna? You were talented, but I repeatedly forgot you were there. :( At least it wasn't Daniella...

HELLO LOVAH.

So Colin from Make Me a Supermodel (it seems like so long ago, doesn't it? SNIFF.) got signed to some small agency in NYC, and he took a lot of test photos that look like, well, the one I just posted above.

Thank you, Colin. Thank you. I can has?

CNTM Cycle 3.

So I figured I might as well review Canada's Next Top Model most recent cycle of greatness. To see any photos I'm talking about, All-CNTM rocks (and that link takes you right to the C3 page). I'll be ranking the photos and offering brief comments on each of them.

PHOTOSHOOT ONE :: POSING WITH EXOTIC ANIMALS
1. Rebeccah
Hello stunning bitch. Ugh, this photo is more or less flawless. It's easily one of the best in CNTM history, IMO. She looks like some high fashion doll. Gorgeous.
2. Meaghan
Wow, her face is so beautiful. She looks just like a china doll, and I love the fact that she looks just slightly harsh, but not enough to throw me off in the photo. Her mouth looks really tight, though. I don't watch, but I heard she had braces, so she was gonna have issues with her mouth, but yeah.
3. Maryam
This photo does have quite a few flaws. Like, for instance, she looks 4'2". But that's made up for in the fact that it's just such a high impact photo. She's just got a stunning face and I love her expression. It makes me pause and look at the photo, and that's what you always want in a photo, IMO.
4. Nikita
She looks a little old and harsh, and the way she's sitting is not the most flattering for her body, frankly. But damn, that FACE. This girl has one of the best faces to ever appear on an NTM show. It's just outstanding.
5. Heather
It's a good photo, but I'm not totally crazy about it. She's hiding the clothes almost completely, and her face looks a little pinched and old. Like I said, though, that's kinda nitpicky. I think this is a strong photo, and she looks confident and glamorous.
6. Jill
I don't understand why she was bottom two. This photo is pretty good. It's a little too... swimsuit modeling for this generally glamorous shoot, but she looks confident and sexy, and that face is great.
7. Linsay
If you're a Linsay fan, you won't like me. I think she's fug, manly, and looks twenty years older, and it comes across in almost every photo she took. Anyway, this photo is okay. Her body language is great. I do have quite a few issues with it, though. Her face looks about as good as it did in any photo, but it's, like Jill's, too overtly sexy. And those hips are just crazy here. She looks like the clothing barely fits her. And that's not a good thing for a model.
8. Tiffany
So I'm tired of Alex Perry's whole ~expensive~ thing being thrown around as the new "OMG this could be straight out of Vogue" as the generic NTM photo comment, at least I understand what Alex means when he says that because this photo is like its opposite. Tiffany just looks so... cheap. She looks long and lean and the dress looks nice on her, but she doesn't look ready for the photo at all; she looks like a car salesman, only she's selling the bird. As Project Runway fans might say, she looks chip in a chip way. Though at least she looks confident, if unready, and it's not as bad as...
9. Ebonie
She just looks so totally freaked out. Every other girl looked extremely confident, at least, and she lost all her glamour in this photo. I don't think it's a usable photo. But hey, she doesn't look as freaked out as...
10. Tara
That's just TERROR. And is she trying to put the snake in her mouth or something? Gross. I totally get an Anchal vibe from this photo, down to the freak out-edness... and that's not necessarily a good thing. Ugh, the fear here is just so unavoidable, it really takes me out of the shoot.



PHOTOSHOOT TWO :: BALANCING ON LADDERS
1. Nikita
Well HELLO CHEEKBONES. This photo is heavenly. I wish her pose was a little less "and now, on Wheel of Fortune..." but she just looks gorgeous and again, HELLO CHEEKBONES.
2. Heather
It's got a really dreamy feel to it. I love that this pose is neither super controlled and stiff/awkward, nor does it look like she's about to fall off the ladder. Really beautiful photo.
3. Meaghan
I'm really not crazy about that dazed look in her eyes/face... but many of these photos were great adventures in mediocrity, so she still emerges as one of the best. It does have a dreamy pose and she shows the hell out of that unflattering clothing without looking bulky.
4. Maryam
It's a little too labored. Like, there's too much effort going into this photo, it's kind of awkward, and I wish she wasn't being kind of blocked by that male model. Yet despite the awkwardness, it does work. That facial expression is just stunning. She's a really beautiful girl.
5. Tara
It's not really any good, but it's better than the rest. Hate the sneer, love the confidence and the fact that she made it sort of an interesting photo.
6. Jill
She doesn't look like she's trying, and that "uhhhh I have a head cold just take the picture uhhhh" face really bothers me. But at least she looks soft and beautiful.
7. Rebeccah
I think she landed B2 this week, supposedly for not being original enough and looking too much like Twiggy/Agyness. That's a BS reason, but this photo is bad. Only Twiggy (and okay, Clare from AusNTM) can do Twiggy; I'd put Rebeccah this low because she looks like a friggin' blow-up doll. Aaaand that's all.
8. Ebonie
That face is just bad, bad, bad, bad. She looks very old here, and in her expression, she just doesn't look ready. I like the way she's showing off the clothes here, though.
9. Linsay
I think it's terrible. The way she's holding herself, it looks like she has a giant ass, and you can barely see her face... but what you can see is pretty atrocious. Her nose and mouth and eyes just don't photograph well. This chick is no model.



PHOTOSHOOT THREE :: JILTED BRIDES
1. Rebeccah
When this girl's on, she's so on. I wish her eyes were open, but it takes my breath away with how gorgeous it is.
2. Heather
It's high impact for sure, and I love how much passion she brought to this photo... but that face is heading a bit too much in the ugly-ugly direction for me, as opposed to ugly-pretty. But it's definitely got that oomph/extra that I always love in photos.
3. Meaghan
Desperation personified, in a good way. Again, she could use a little more ugly-pretty as opposed to ugly-ugly.
4. Linsay
She looks dead, not longing, but I do like this photo. It's definitely one of her best.
5. Maryam
You can definitely tell it was taken in a sound stage or whatever, and I'm actually not that crazy about her face... but this entire photo is just so stunningly wounded. I love that.
6. Nikita
It's pretty ugly, actually, like quite a few of these... but the longing is there. This week was really strong, and most of the girls performed extremely well.
7. Tara
Hey there Anchal. Make yourself look prettier, and a lot less sweaty. K bye.
8. Ebonie
Hahahahaha her EXPRESSION. Was that mean? Yeah, well, I'm tired.



PHOTOSHOOT FOUR :: AVANT-GARDE BEAUTY SHOTS
Amazing photoshoot! One of the best in NTM history, and all the girls did really well.
1. Nikita
Yeah, hi there flawless.
2. Meaghan
Yeah, this is more or less perfect. The only thing that's not? The hand. But it's still an amazing photo!
3. Maryam
She looks weirdly like Teyona here, but it's an amazing photo. It's not easy to pull off that pose and not make it look awkward, but she totally did it. It's only as "low" as it is because of the weirdness in the arm and back.
4. Linsay
This is definitely her best photo. It's divine. The pose is a little too jewelry ad but there's no denying it's gorgeous. And for the first and only time in the cycle, she looks like she has modeling potential... those cheekbones!
5. Heather
I love the dramatics in this photo. It's almost like... a religious experience. Only in a week like this could a photo this strong be called right before the bottom two. However, something in her eyes is... weird or bug-eyed or something. It doesn't totally work, but I love how haunting the photo is.
6. Rebeccah
It's a gorgeous photo, but she looks so startled. And I'm sure, if she had her mouth exposed, it would be open and thus all blow up doll-y. Really, when this is the "second worst" photo of the week, though...
7. Tara
It's beautiful, but pedestrian. I wish she'd pushed it more, but it's still a photo she can be very proud of.



PHOTOSHOOT FIVE :: LG CELL PHONE AD
1. Meaghan
Only two girls did even okay at this shoot, which was as much a miserable failure as the week before was a triumph. I love her body language and the attitude in her face. She looks like a model here, even in this cheap ass shoot
2. Nikita
The other girl that wasn't a laughingstock. Her pose and face strikes me as faker than Meaghan's, but I get this VERY HBIC vibe from this photo, which I love.
3. Rebeccah
I don't understand why she was booted for this, considering that other girls humiliated themselves... but that expression is not at all flattering to her face. She just looks bad, and kind of older than she was, which is never a good thing for fashion.
4. Maryam
I like how she's selling the phone and it looks like she's having fun but unfortunately, she looks really old, ugly, and busted.
5. Heather
She looks extremely pedestrian and broad. Heck, in the face, she even looks ugly. That's not a good thing for a model, at all.
6. Linsay
Linsay wasn't notably awful until this point, where... it emerged. Seriously, that face is just awful. What is she doing? She looks deranged. It's the worst photo of the cycle.



PHOTOSHOOT SIX :: ALTER EGOS
1. Nikita
Whoah, I gave Nikita a whole lot of FCOs, and I don't even consider her the best girl of the cycle (that's Meaghan, and Maryam might have been the second best). Anyway, I'm stunned by how great this photo is. She's really a goddess here.
2. Meaghan
I would like more interaction between these two girls, and the diva alter ego is totally obscuring the plain alter ego, but it's a divine photo. I adore that diva's pose, and how strong she looks.
3. Maryam
I can't give her a FCO because I don't think it's fair, considering she had a totally different photoshoot, but this photo is DIVINE. It really could be in any magazine, and you guys know I hate that comment about good photos. It's just a very fashion photo, and I love the animalistic look in her eyes. I really wish Alexandra hadn't quit at the beginning of the cycle so they could have actually done this photoshoot!!
4. Heather
I think her "plain" alter ego is better than the diva/model one, but she did a pretty good job here. I like this photo, I just think the other girls did better.
5. Linsay
The face of the plain girl is quite ugly (that's not a good face for anyone, Linsay), and the face of the diva or whatever is drag queen-y. I don't see all that much connection between them, either. It's not really awful or anything, though.



PHOTOSHOOT SEVEN :: COVER GIRL
1. Nikita
She looks really pretty and friendly. I wouldn't think she could pull off something like this, but well, there you go.
2. Maryam
She looks hella tired and there's something weird in her hair/forehead but it's a nice photo, if not really Cover Girl.
3. Meaghan
Really the only weak photo in her portfolio, unfortunately. I don't like the smile at all, she looks all twisted and uncomfortable.
4. Linsay
I think it's really bad. No way this deserved FCO. She looks super old and tired. If they'd booted Linsay at the F6 or so, I would have never noticed how much she sucks, but among girls like Meaghan, Maryam, and Nikita, she's laughable.



PHOTOSHOOT EIGHT :: Fashion MAGAZINE
1. Meaghan
I already talked about this photo, sorta. DIVINE GODDESS! I think, even with the beauty shot photos, this might be my favorite photo of the cycle. It's just GORGEOUS.
2. Nikita
I'm surprised at how bad this is. Her face is just dead. Really, the only option for FCO was Meaghan, but Nikita totally should have stayed.
3. Linsay
Her F4 and F3 FCOs were some of the worst FCOs in any NTMs I've seen. It's unbelievably commercial - it belongs on Self or something - but it wouldn't even be usable for that because her face has never looked worse. Old, mannish, flat-out ugly... all the things we've come to, um, love about Linsay are back. Seriously, how did she get FCO over Meaghan's divine-ness this week???

Stunning bitch.

This is the winner of Canada's Next Top Model:



Hoooooly. Back in C1, this show was buuuusted. The photoshoots were overwhelmingly terrible and the contestant that was obviously miles above everyone else, Sisi, was booted for some bullshit reason. A girl with this photo in her on-show portfolio won in her place. C2 was better; the winner was like a far more awesome McKey and they had some better photoshoots, though still kinda jank and blah.

BUT THIS CYCLE. The photoshoots were awesome, and the winner, as seen above, is just STUNNING. Congrats, CNTM. Keep this up (and uh, have more than like 4 photoshoots per cycle) and you'll be at Australia level next cycle.

Just in case you forgot...

Best ever.

OH MY GOD, GUYS, THEY'RE STILL HAVING A BABY TOGETHER AIEEEEEEEEEEE

(I love that nbc.com has been doing these "best of..." things for the summer. It allows me to revisit all the awesome moments I forgot about, even if my top 5 moments of whatever would more than likely be different.)

Random 2:30ish AM observation #infinity

Lauren Ambrose was going through a really awkward phase during the filming of Can't Hardly Wait.

Is Seth Green supposed to be hot? Cuz, no.

Also, why does every female, in every movie/TV show ever made, have sex with a top on??? Yes I know it is because of ~censorship~ and you know, sometimes not all the clothes come off, but THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN VERY OFTEN. Ahem. This especially bothered me in Knocked Up, even though I'm sure it came from Katie Heigl not wanting to end up on the equivalent of Flesh of the Stars ;) or whatevs.

Laughing @ morons.

So I'm reading a fairly popular ANTM-related board that is really full of Analeigh hate, and there's a lot of "SHE DOESN'T EVEN LOOK LIKE A PERSON! SHE'S A DISGUSTING GROSS PIG!!!!!"

Yeah, because this is one hideous person. Oh God! I can't even look at it!!!! Look, I know attractiveness is subjective, but there's no way Analeigh is at all disgusting to the point where she doesn't look like a person any more. I'll dare to say it: though she lacks facial bone structure, she's got that baby doll look everyone goes batshit crazy over, like with Gemma Ward, Vlada Roslyakova, and Caroline Trentini. I seriously don't understand why, almost a year after her cycle aired, people still attack her constantly, when the girl didn't even win and is, by all accounts, a lovely person. Yeah, she ain't the most modelesque girl the show's ever seen, but she's far from the least. Heck, she's in the top half of potential from her cycle alone.

In conclusion, Analeigh is awesome and the haters include people who, on this particular forum, called Michelle Obama a "gorilla" and told C9 Ambreal to "go back to the jungle." So yeah. GTFO on their part.

No, just no.