Non-John Krasinski related post.

Grading the Oscar-nominated performances since 2000. It's hard to grade performances!

A+
Laura Linney - You Can Count on Me
Ellen Burstyn - Requiem for a Dream
Tom Wilkinson - In the Bedroom
Chris Cooper - Adaptation.
Catherine Zeta-Jones - Chicago
Bill Murray - Lost in Translation
Kate Winslet - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Clive Owen - Closer
Heath Ledger - Brokeback Mountain
Rachel Weisz - The Constant Gardener
Meryl Streep - The Devil Wears Prada
Daniel Day-Lewis - There Will Be Blood

A
Benicio del Toro - Traffic
Willem Dafoe - Shadow of the Vampire
Russell Crowe - A Beautiful Mind
Denzel Washington - Training Day
Renee Zellweger - Bridget Jones' Diary
Nicole Kidman - Moulin Rouge!
Ben Kingsley - Sexy Beast
Ian McKellen - Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
Marisa Tomei - In the Bedroom
Kate Winslet - Iris
Jack Nicholson - About Schmidt
Daniel Day-Lewis - Gangs of New York
Nicolas Cage - Adaptation.
Julianne Moore - Far from Heaven
Meryl Streep - Adaptation.
Charlize Theron - Monster
Tim Robbins - Mystic River
Holly Hunter - thirteen
Renee Zellweger - Cold Mountain
Don Cheadle - Hotel Rwanda
Jamie Foxx - Ray
Virginia Madsen - Sideways
David Strathairn - Good Night, and Good Luck.
Jake Gyllenhaal - Brokeback Mountain
Michelle Williams - Brokeback Mountain
Ryan Gosling - Half Nelson
Forest Whitaker - Last King of Scotland
Judi Dench - Notes on a Scandal
Adriana Barraza - Babel
Tommy Lee Jones - In the Valley of Elah
Viggo Mortensen - Eastern Promises
Laura Linney - The Savages
Javier Bardem - No Country for Old Men
Tilda Swinton - Michael Clayton

A-
Tom Hanks - Cast Away
Russell Crowe - Gladiator
Sissy Spacek - In the Bedroom
Helen Mirren - Gosford Park
Maggie Smith - Gosford Park
Diane Lane - Unfaithful
Paul Newman - Road to Perdition
Christopher Walken - Catch Me If You Can
Jude Law - Cold Mountain
Ben Kingsley - House of Sand and Fog
Sean Penn - Mystic River
Alec Baldwin - The Cooler
Benicio del Toro - 21 Grams
Imelda Staunton - Vera Drake
Catalina Sandino Moreno - Maria Full of Grace
Jamie Foxx - Collateral
Morgan Freeman - Million Dollar Baby
Laura Linney - Kinsey
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Capote
Reese Witherspoon - Walk the Line
Keira Knightley - Pride and Prejudice
Eddie Murphy - Dreamgirls
George Clooney - Michael Clayton
Julie Christie - Away from Her
Ellen Page - Juno
Casey Affleck - The Assassination...
Tom Wilkinson - Michael Clayton
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Charlie Wilson's War
Cate Blanchett - I'm Not There

B+
Javier Bardem - Before Night Falls
Julia Roberts - Erin Brockovich
Albert Finney - Erin Brockovich
Marcia Gay Harden - Pollock
Frances McDormand - Almost Famous
Renee Zellweger - Chicago
Marcia Gay Harden - Mystic River
Hilary Swank - Million Dollar Baby
Terrence Howard - Hustle and Flow
Matt Dillon - Crash
Amy Adams - Junebug
Peter O'Toole - Venus
Kate Winslet - Little Children
Penelope Cruz - Volver
Helen Mirren - The Queen
Jennifer Hudson - Dreamgirls
Abigail Breslin - Little Miss Sunshine
Hal Holbrook - Into the Wild

B
Ed Harris - Pollock
Julie Waters - Billy Elliot
Will Smith - Ali
Jim Broadbent - Iris
Michael Caine - The Quiet American
Nicole Kidman - The Hours
Thomas Haden Church - Sideways
Joaquin Phoenix - Walk the Line
Will Smith - The Pursuit of Happyness
Mark Wahlberg - The Departed
Saoirse Ronan - Atonement
Amy Ryan - Gone Baby Gone

B-
Kate Hudson - Almost Famous
Halle Berry - Monster's Ball
Adrien Brody - The Pianist
Julianne Moore - The Hours
Samantha Morton - In America
Ken Watanabe - The Last Samuari
Shohreh Aghdashloo - House of Sand and Fog
Leonardo DiCaprio - The Aviator
Natalie Portman - Closer
Charlize Theron - North Country
William Hurt - A History of Violence

C+
Geoffrey Rush - Quills
Joan Allen - The Contender
Clint Eastwood - Million Dollar Baby
George Clooney - Syriana
Paul Giamatti - Cinderella Man
Johnny Depp - Sweeney Todd

C
Ethan Hawke - Training Day
Ed Harris - The Hours
John C. Reilly - Chicago
Kathy Bates - About Schmidt
Queen Latifah - Chicago
Patricia Clarkson - Pieces of April
Jackie Earle Haley - Little Children
Cate Blanchett - Notes on a Scandal
Cate Blanchett - Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Ruby Dee - American Gangster

C-
Jeff Bridges - The Big Lebowski
Judi Dench - Iris
Salma Hayek - Frida
Diane Keaton - Something's Gotta Give
Keisha Castle-Hughes - Whale Rider
Djimon Hounsou - In America
Cate Blanchett - The Aviator
Sophie Okonedo - Hotel Rwanda
Catherine Keener - Capote
Djimon Hounsou - Blood Diamond
Alan Arkin - Little Miss Sunshine

D+
Juliette Binoche - Chocolat
Judi Dench - Chocolat
Leonardo DiCaprio - Blood Diamond

D
Joaquin Phoenix - Gladiator
Jon Voight - Ali
Alan Alda - The Aviator
Felicity Huffman - Transamerica
Judi Dench - Mrs. Henderson Presents (why do I appear to hate Judi so?)
Frances McDormand - North Country
Rinko Kikuchi - Babel
Marion Cotillard - La vie en rose

D-
Johnny Depp - Pirates of the Carribbean
Naomi Watts - 21 Grams
Johnny Depp - Finding Neverland
Annette Bening - Being Julia

F
Sean Penn - I Am Sam
Jennifer Connelly - A Beautiful Mind

Did I miss anyone? As we can see, the Oscars often make pretty good choices. Yay, Oscars! However, they also can sometimes make mediocre or terrible choices. Boo, Oscars! <---- this has been your completely obvious public service announcement for the day.

JKRAS. WE NEED TO TALK.

First, they took my Jake. Now, they're taking my John. Must the Red Sox unleash their unholy control over all??? ARRGH! Oh well. At least you're from Boston, John. Jake, you're from LA! No excuse!

Ahhh, I so look forward to this weekend...

Leatherheads...

My Blueberry Nights, which I'm still so psyched for despite those mediocre reviews...

Shine a Light... Scorsese + Stones...

Nim's Island... okay this one might take some actual explaining, so: I love Jodie Foster. I think she's undoubtedly the best child-to-adult actress of all time. If I had a top 10 working actress list that was solid, she would undoubtedly be on it. She just kicks so much ass. Abigail Breslin is awesome, and obviously also a child actress. They had an adorable interview together in People (shhhh). I'm pretty excited to see the way they play off each other. Also, there's Gerard Butler to drool over...

Leatherheads...

Now, the chances of me seeing any of these in theaters? SADFACE. If Leatherheads is here, though, I am probably going to run to the movie theater.

BEING BUSY AND UNINSPIRED SUUUUCKS.

A revised top 20.

20. "Branch Wars" (Season 4, Episode 6) (Mindy Kaling)
Sometimes I say crazy things.

19. "Fun Run" (Season 4, Episode 1) (Greg Daniels)
I have to visit the alkie.

18. "Women's Appreciation" (Season 3, Episode 21) (Gene Stupnitsky & Lee Eisenberg)
Prove it. Let's see your penis.

17. "The Fire" (Season 2, Episode 4) (BJ Novak)
I don't want to be like "a guy" here.

16. "Beach Games" (Season 3, Episode 22) (Jennifer Celotta & Greg Daniels)
Vol-de-mort! Vol-de-mort!

15. "Dunder-Mifflin Infinity" (Season 4, Episode 2) (Michael Shur)
My heart soars with the eagle's nest.

14. "Branch Closing" (Season 3, Episode 7) (Michael Shur)
Costa Rica will still be there. When I'm 65.

13. "Sexual Harassment" (Season 2, Episode 2) (BJ Novak)
Todd Packer and I are total BFF.

12. "Diversity Day" (Season 1, Episode 2) (BJ Novak)
The other type comes in and makes a real mess.

11. "Casino Night" (Season 2, Episode 22) (Steve Carell)
I don't wanna do that. I wanna be more than that.

10. "Christmas Party" (Season 2, Episode 10) (Michael Shur)
Take that, Saddam!

9. "The Injury" (Season 2, Episode 12) (Mindy Kaling)
I tried hopping, Kevin.

8. "The Convict" (Season 3, Episode 9) (Ricky Gervais & Stephen Merchant)
I live to frolf.

7. "The Merger" (Season 3, Episode 8) (Brent Forrester)
I think I would have been good at choosing the person.

6. "The Job" (Season 3, Episode 23) (Paul Lieberstein & Michael Shur)
I'm sorry, what was the question?

5. "Booze Cruise" (Season 2, Episode 11) (Greg Daniels)
On a boat, who knows? It's nebu...lose.

4. "Money" (Season 4, Episode 4) (Paul Lieberstein)
Man, Angela really had a hold on him. Angela.

3. "Gay Witch Hunt" (Season 3, Episode 1) (Greg Daniels)
False. I do not miss him.

2. "A Benihana Christmas" (Season 3, Episode 10) (Jennifer Celotta)
Have a bucket there for the blood, and the innards, and the feathers.

1. "The Dundies" (Season 2, Episode 1) (Mindy Kaling)
Finally, I want to thank God, because God gave me this Dundie.

Pink wigs.

Yeah, I know I can't shut up about Lost in Translation, but there's just something devastatingly beautiful about that second picture.

Oscar season threw me off, but Season 3 - Part 2!

"Branch Closing": Dwight saves Stanley from the poisoned coffee


"The Merger": Michael and Andy meet (haha, Pam's face...)


"The Convict": PRISON MIKE. !!!!


"A Benihana Christmas": "Too soon."


"Back from Vacation": Michael shows off the new skills he got in Jamaica


"Traveling Salesmen": SLAP!

"Branch Closing"
5. "Say what you will about Michael Scott, but he would never do that." I love this line for many reasons. I mean, it's funny, but moreso I love, love, love the moments on The Office where it becomes obvious that Michael Scott is an actual person with much depth, not just a ludicrous sitcom character or something stupid like that. And, indeed, he would never screw over his employees just for personal gain.
4. for some reason, I just love Michael singing "just call me Levinson in the morning, baby..."
3. Michael and Dwight at David Wallace's house, especially when Michael gives his thoughts on Michael Moore
2. FAXES TO DWIGHT FROM THE FUTURE.
1. "When you become close with someone, you develop a kind of sixth sense, and can read their moods like a book. Right now the title of Michael's book is Something Weird Is Going On. Colon. What Did Jan Say? The Michael Scott Story. By Michael Scott. With Dwight Schrute."

"The Merger"
5. "like a carpenter...who makes stairs"
4. Dwight and Andy argue on the way out. HYSTERICAL.
3. JIM AND PAM REUNITE. :)
2. Karen and Pam's faces after Michael asks Karen about her father
1. LAZY SCRANTON AND THE SCRANTON WITCH PROJECT. OH MY GODDDDD. Especially that cut to Jim with his mouth hanging open with the gum in it. AMAZING.

"The Convict"
5. "I'm so horny."
"Okay, I can't...help you with that."
4. "I had Martin explain to me three times what he got arrested for, because (shifty look) it sounds an awful lot like what I do here every day."
3. the whole white man you trust/black man you trust more conversation
2. the very end - Andy singing "The Rainbow Connection" to Pam is hysterical enough as is, but then he's singing it in falsetto. And then he busts out the Pig Latin. And then it turns sweet and meaningful with Pam's look to Jim and Jim's half-amused-and-amusing, half-poignant look at the camera. Just...beautiful.
1. PRISON MIKE. THAT IS ALL.

"A Benihana Christmas" (oh, lord. Such an amazing episode. Everything is just...faaaantastic.)
5. Jim going through with Pam's prank
4. Toby's line delivery of "why?" when Dwight takes away his bag
3. "It's a bold move to Photoshop yourself into a picture with your girlfriend and her kids on a ski trip with their real father, but then again, Michael's a bold guy. ... Is bold the right word?"
2. MICHAEL MARKS HIS DATE'S ARM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1. Michael on bros before hos

"Back from Vacation"
5. "Jan. You complete me."
4. "And I, to you, in addition, feel the same feelings that you are, as well."
3. "No, Kevin, a woman. Maybe Jan. Maybe..."
"Urkelgru!"
2. the offending picture this episode concerns is hysterical.
1. "I AM NOW CHOPPING OFF PHYLLIS' HEAD WITH A CHAINSAW!!!! ring-ing-ing."

"Traveling Salesmen"
5. I gotta say, I really liked it when Angela and Pam were becoming friendly. Poor Pam needs some friends. :(
4. the young Jim/young Dwight picture and "Oh, young Jim. There is so much I need to warn you about. And yet, tragically... I cannot"
3. Jim slaps Dwight. !!!
2. OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPITY DAWESOME!!!! (and the rest of the song)
1. as I said a few posts ago, the cold opening with Harvey the computer is more than likely my all-time favorite. Especially "I can't control him!" "yeah, you can," Pam's "help meeee" look to Jim when she walks in, and Michael's face after he makes Harvey say "boobs."

The best six-episode run in the series' history? Possibly. Probably.

and now JKras is in Parade!

Whatta magazine ;) Drool over the rest here.

I hate to put it like this, but dude's definitely chunked up during the strike. However...um...a guy chunking up has never been a bad thing. Seriously. Unless it was like, Brandon Davis, but nothing could save him to begin with. JKras is still delish and I so cannot wait until the first two weeks of April. Leatherheads, him hosting The Office marathon, and, of course, The Office back on the air. All days should be filled with such a bounty of John.

Oscar winner...
But one of the top 50 performances of the millennium?

(here's a hint: no)

Politics!

(for the title of this entry, please refer to the best part of Alan Arkin's performance in Little Miss Sunshine, his line reading of that line.)

So, the Democratic party is retarded. And I am a registered Democrat. From the beginning of this election process, we've been told that this election is ours - that there's no way we could lose. Well, the stupid sniping and bitching within the party is what's going to make us lose, quite frankly. I support Barack Obama. I know it's a huge criticism of his campaign, but I just think he inspires hope in many in a way that hasn't really been seen in a long time. I think he has slightly better and more concrete plans for the economy and Iraq than Hillary. I think he's less-hated than Hillary and has a far better chance of winning against McCain, and he's taking the high road in competition with Hillary, usually. And, well, I dunno, I'm really into good, intelligent writing, and The Audacity of Hope and Dreams of My Father are both pretty damn amazing. That race speech was...damn. I feel like in campaigns, there's a lot of talking down, but Obama treats us like we're all competent, intelligent adults, who understand and need to work on complicated and difficult issues. However, this doesn't mean that I'm so shallow and petty that if Hillary gets chosen as the party's nominee I'm going to vote for McCain, or not at all, but that's what a lot of Democrats are doing, unfortunately. Come on, guys. Obama and Clinton are not very different when it comes to the issues. The mean-spirited competition between the supporters of the two of them is getting ridiculous. At this point, if we lose the election, it'll be at least partially our own damn fault. Pull it together, people...

Let's take a bet!

How bad is 21 gonna flop?

(Watch it open with like $900 million.)

I don't think I'll be able to handle all this Leatherheads press

I really don't. I mean, George talking about John... John talking about George... sweaty basketball... bets being made... ahhhhh... doesn't this sound like the setup for some insanely great fanfiction or something?!?!?!?!

So, yeah.

To avoid writing my paper, in the midst of verrrry little sleep, I came up with my "official" list of the top 50 performances of the 2000s. It is very far from perfect. There were performances it just killed me to leave off, of course, and there were performances that are wayyyy too low, but... overall it's pretty satisfying. I might post it eventually. The top two should be obvious if you read this regularly (one of you has to exist out there right?), but I think the rest of it might be interesting. Or I might just leave it at this and torture you forever ;)

The Pulpys 2007 : Best Director

Best Directorial Debut
and the nominees are

Ben Affleck for Gone Baby Gone
Anton Corbijn for Control *
Tony Gilroy for Michael Clayton
Sarah Polley for Away from Her
Mike White for Year of the Dog

and the winner is
Ben Affleck
(though Gilroy's movie is better)

The "Points for Effort" Directorial Award
(for the director that may have made far from the best movie that year,
but dude, they were totally trying. Really hard.)
and the nominees are

Wes Anderson for The Darjeeling Limited
William Friedkin for Bug
Sam Raimi for Spider-Man 3
Robert Rodriguez for Planet Terror
Julie Taymor for Across the Universe

and the winner is
Wes Anderson

Best Director
and the nominees are

Paul Thomas Anderson for There Will Be Blood
the Coen brothers for No Country for Old Men
David Fincher for Zodiac
Ang Lee for Lust, Caution
Quentin Tarantino for Death Proof
Joe Wright for Atonement

and the winner is
Paul Thomas Anderson

Good year for the Andersons. For my Oscar ballot, just cut off QT.
* This is a debut right? I know he's a music video director but...

"Parking"

Michael’s fascination with a woman modeling a chair in an office supply catalog makes him feel things he hasn’t felt in a while. With Michael distracted, Kevin and Andy team up to win back Dunder-Mifflin’s stolen parking spaces, forcing them into a showdown with the bosses of the five businesses of the office park.

a. oh, Michael.
b. this means Jan and Michael break up, right? Wuh-oh.
c. Kevin and Andy? HELL. YES. They are my two favorite minor characters (as in, not Michael, Dwight, Jim, Pam, or Ryan) and I've loved their interacting, from when Kevin kept calling Andy "penguin" during the deleted scenes of "The Merger" to when they had a very deep, soul-searching conversation (hahahaha) with Jim during "Dunder-Mifflin Infinity" about how Ryan had changed.
d. This sounds kind of like the fight in Anchorman, doesn't it? And that can so only be a good thing.
e. Okay, I just looked at the promo pictures from this episode and they don't say a whole lot but... Ryan looks like he got fired, right?

The Pulpys 2007: Best Screenplays.

Best Original Screenplay
and the nominees are

Before the Devil Knows You're Dead by Kelly Masterson
Enchanted by Bill Kelly
Juno by Diablo Cody
Michael Clayton by Tony Gilroy
Ratatouille by Brad Bird
The Savages by Tamara Jenkins

and the winner is
Ratatouille

Best Adapted Screenplay
and the nominees are

Atonement by Christopher Hampton
Away from Her by Sarah Polley
Charlie Wilson's War by Aaron Sorkin
Gone Baby Gone by Ben Affleck and Aaron Stockard
No Country for Old Men by Joel and Ethan Coen
There Will Be Blood by Paul Thomas Anderson

and the winner is
Atonement

Original finalists: Death Proof, Year of the Dog, Black Snake Moan, Knocked Up, 4 Months 3 Weeks and 2 Days, In the Valley of Elah
Original semi-finalists: Eastern Promises and Once

Adapted finalists: Jindabyne (it killed me to leave this one out), Zodiac, The Assassination..., A Mighty Heart
Adapted semi-finalists: Bug and Lust, Caution

Rashida Jones.

I know, I'm not supposed to like her. Partially because she's the daughter of other famous actors, but mostly because she's (ick! ugh!) Karen (ugh!). But...here's the thing. Karen was kind of awesome (just not with Jim!). Yes, "Pam is...kind of a bitch" and some other things she did (tearing down the flyers...) were completely unnecessary, but she was just a girl trying to keep her relatively long-term boyfriend who she'd invested a lot of time in. With a lesser actress, Karen would have been hateable the entire time. I'm not sad they're basically done with her on the show (we don't need more Jim/Pam drama) but that's more a comment on her role than her acting (the only problem I ever had was in "The Job" where Jim and Karen are in NYC and it feels a little like "John [looking hot in those jeans! Whenever Jim has on a pair of jeans on that show, I start foaming at the mouth!] and Rashida go on a lovely jaunt!" rather than "Jim and Karen discuss their future. srsly"). Yeah, Rashida's the daughter of famously connected people, but there is no way she's a Paris Hilton (she's even commented on that, not in an "OMG I AM SO NOT LIKE HER!!!" showy way but just in a way that shows she knows how inevitable the question is). And look above! She's pretty! So in conclusion: rock on Rashida. Still not watching that new show of yours though because it looks really bad.

I just saw The Secret Life of Words.

Because at this point, I will do anything to avoid this paper. So, Sarah Polley in that is another one to add to the underrated list (and Tim Robbins too, to a lesser extent). And my Best Actress 2005 just went 0/5 with the Academy (it's technically 1/5 because Rachel Weisz is on here, but in lead). Sweet.

Threeish years later...

Rachel Weisz still rocks. Sorry, Jesus, but she kicked your ass that year (and all the other nominees', and Maria Bello's, and Laura Linney's, and Scarlett Johansson's, and anyone else you can think of - and you know it pained me to write that about Amy, Laura, and Scarlett ;) ). One of the most-deserved Oscar wins, um, well, probably ever in that category, actually (even if she is borderline lead, and I have her in lead).

Oh hell yes.

I've been looking for this forever. It's my favorite cold open. I know the quality is shit, but still. "BOOBS."

music-movies

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier.
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier.
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier.
(of course. And yes, the movie's as terrible as you've heard. Though I loved Sarah Michelle Gellar, and this part was pretty awesome.)

Grading and ranking the Oscar-winning films of this year.

There Will Be Blood A
Ratatouille A
No Country for Old Men A
Atonement A-
Michael Clayton A-
Juno A-
The Bourne Ultimatum B+
Sweeney Todd B-
Once C+
The Golden Compass C-
Elizabeth: The Golden Age D+
La vie en rose D+

Not seen: The Counterfeiters, Taxi to the Dark Side

Yes it's true.

I only had one post yesterday. This is because I am BOGGED DOWN. *collapses*

The most subtext-filled quote on The Office, ever.

I feel like there's a chance for me to start over.
And if I fall back into the same kind of things I used to do, then...
what am I doing?

-Jim, "A Benihana Christmas"

Heehee!

Remember when I said JK Simmons was amazing? He still is.

The Pulpys 2007 - Best Actor.

Best Actor :: Musical / Comedy
and the nominees are


Steve Carell as Dan Burns in Dan in Real Life


Don Cheadle as Petey Greene in Talk to Me


Tom Hanks as Charlie Wilson in Charlie Wilson's War


Philip Seymour Hoffman as Jon Savage in The Savages
(why is it so hard to find a picture of him or Linney by him/herself?)


Sam Riley as Ian Curtis in Control


Seth Rogen as Ben Stone in Knocked Up

and the winner is
Sam Riley

Best Actor :: Drama
and the nominees are


Casey Affleck as Robert Ford in The Assassination of Jesse James...


Christian Bale as Lieutenant Dieter Dengler in Rescue Dawn


Daniel Day-Lewis as Daniel Plainview in There Will Be Blood


Tommy Lee Jones as Hank Deerfield in In the Valley of Elah


James McAvoy as Robbie Turner in Atonement


Viggo Mortensen as Nikolai in Eastern Promises

and the winner is
DANIEL DAY-LEWIS.

My Oscar ballot thing:
Casey Affleck (or if you want to follow the Academy's stupid rules, switch him out for McAvoy)
Christian Bale
* Daniel Day-Lewis *
Tommy Lee Jones
Viggo Mortensen

Of course, many fantastic leading male performances haven't gotten mentioned at all here, so my apologies to: Jude Law in Breaking and Entering, Gordon Pinsent in Away from Her, Brad Pitt in The Assassination..., George Clooney in Michael Clayton, Josh Brolin in No Country for Old Men, Chris Cooper in Breach, Philip Seymour Hoffman in Before the Devil Knows You're Dead (quite a year he had, that one), Steve Buscemi in Interview, Ulrich Muhe in The Lives of Others, Gabriel Bryne in Jindabyne, Emile Hirsch in Into the Wild, Casey Affleck in Gone Baby Gone, Russell Crowe in American Gangster, Kurt Russell in Death Proof, and Samuel L. Jackson in Black Snake Moan. *smooches*

Baby baby baby baby baby!

I know that nowadays, play a real character = win an Oscar, but Reese actually deserved it. She alone gave life to a dull movie (Joaquin was okay, but not nearly as good as she was). Just reminding ya'll in honor of her birthday.

*choir of angels sings*

It is God's birthday today. I know I probably say a lot of people are "God" in this blog (I feel God in this blog tonight. WHOOOO!!!!!), but I really mean it with him. He is probably the most talented living artist. In honor of him, contemplate how much better Sweeney Todd, the stage show, is from Sweeney Todd, the movie (which is still not bad, probably just because I love that show so goddamn much).

Also: Reese Witherspoon (still love her.). Andrew Lloyd Webber (I don't have the pure hatred for him a lot of musical theater people do, but yeah his shows are pretty bad and his music very schlocky. And why is he on the IMDb main page for birthdays and not Sondheim? Sondheim's got an Oscar too, bitches!). Damn Karl Malden is 96?!

Why George Clooney is the best celebrity we have.

Esquire interview. I swear, I laughed more than I did during the entirety of The 40-Year-Old Virgin.

"I suffered short-term memory loss."

"Never heard of that. It was so secret, I have no idea what they're talking about."

"When I turn forty, I'll let you know about that."

"Where the hell are we? This is a hit, isn't it?"

"The Peacemaker, of course. Someday, a group of people will discover that one and give me a posthumous award for that."

"Wow, that's an angry cat right there."

"Ninety-four members. What the fuck?"

"That's bullshit. He looks great for a 70-year-old."

"I did get my balls done, though. I got them unwrinkled. It's the new thing in Hollywood - ball ironing."

"I guess I looked about three foot five sitting at the table."

"Twenty years ago - I'm having trouble remembering the penetrative love I had."

"I think this was actually taken out of Bill O'Reilly's novel."

"That's because I eat them."

"No. I'm gay gay. That third gay - that was pushing it."

"Gee, gosh, I was wrong about that. Bush turned out to be really great at all this."

"Well you know, if I was a girl and he was a girl, and I was a lesbian and he was a lesbian, I'd be all over him."

"It's like a Saturday Night Live sketch. Nobody says things like that."

"You kind of go, dude, weren't you in Dunston Checks In?"

him flipping out about the monkey butt video

and, of course, his reaction to 2girls1cup.

AMAZING.

The Top 15 Most Overrated Performances of the 2000s.

Taking into consideration that "overrated" is overrated. ;) I tried not to rank them in order of how good they were, but rather in order of how overrated they were. Also, yes, I kept it to one Cate Blanchett and one Johnny Depp performance each. ;)

15. Salma Hayek - Frida
I just read in, I think, Glamour magazine, where they were talking about Frida, and they said, of course, "Salma becomes Frida." GOD, I AM SO TIRED OF THIS. Makeup makes a lot of these biopic performances what they are. Salma seems all "oh my God I am in a prestige picture and I need to ACT!!!" throughout the whole movie, and thus loses all the joy and vitality she could possibly have. Not totally overrated because she almost never wins in 2002 due to the combination of The Hours ladies and Julianne Moore. But even a nomination is very very undeserved.

14. Leonardo DiCaprio - The Aviator
Not at all a bad performance. In fact, it's pretty good. But when I hear people calling this the greatest male performance of the new millennium, or even of all time, I do cringe a little. The performance doesn't seem to have a lot of sublety, though Leo has absolutely explosive screen presence and is absolutely natural. Like I said, it's good, it's just drastically overrated. He didn't deserve his nomination... but then again, very few of his fellow nominees did (2004 was such a terrific year for movies, and such a terrible year for the Oscars...).

13. Sean Penn - I Am Sam
Awful. Just awful. Hammy and horrendous and without a note of sublety. He doesn't even look interested to be there. This would be higher, but there are definitely those that agree with me.

12. Adrien Brody - The Pianist
I'm a really big lover of sublety and naturalism, as has probably become clear from this entry where I say "sublety" about 204860486 times. But Adrien was just too subtle. He was boring, and is one of few actors I would say just can't hold a movie in lead. I'm a huge sap and cry over everything (Crash or a movie that can be better-compared to this one, Schindler's List, pretty much destroyed me the first time I saw it), but I hardly cared about this guy.

11. Joan Allen - The Upside of Anger
Should probably be higher on this list. Wow, she was terrible. Like, Razzie-worthy. I thought she was just a horrible shrieking harpy that could not possibly be mistaken for any actual living human being. I didn't find her funny. Her attempts at being sexy are just laughable and bring her performance down even more (and no, I'm not being one of those "OMG WOMEN OVER 40 SHOULD NOT BE PLAYING SEXY" people. She was just laughable at it. Honestly, Helen Mirren was sexier in The Queen. Okay, that's an exaggeration. But still.). I hated every minute of this movie and her performance and I don't understand why people liked it.

10. Emily Blunt - The Devil Wears Prada
I know, frequent readers of this blog (if there are any of you........) are probably shocked! shocked! that she is not #1. But there are performances that are way worse that are way more praised, so I'm not going to overstate my case. Emily was fine. However, she was in no way award-worthy or even close to award-worthy. She was pretty funny, which is nothing a million other actors and actresses haven't done in the past, and she stole scenes from Anne Hathaway, which is really not hard. Her character was badly written and I think she made more of it than was on the page, but I never felt sympathy for her, like I did with Meryl Streep's. Most importantly, I never felt like she was an actual human being, unlike, again, Meryl Streep. She was just a quip machine.

9. Rinko Kikuchi - Babel
I really hate to oversimplify performances like this, but: she showed her vagina a lot and made weird faces. She didn't ever express her pain to me. She has one brilliant second in the club where she sees the guy she likes kissing another girl and her face just falls, but it's literally a second. The rest of her performance is terrible and desperate for attention.

8. Felicity Huffman - Transamerica
Another "wow, terrible, how could anyone like this?" performance. SO HAMMY AND UNREAL AND ACTING!!!!!!. I can't stand Desperate Housewives, but from the little of it I saw, Felicity was just great there. I still find her likeable, but I don't know why she's so terrible in movies. I'm so thrilled Reese got that Oscar!

7. Julianne Moore - The Hours
All the ladies in The Hours are fairly overrated. None of them even deserved a nomination (except for, oddly enough, Toni Collette), and it's nowhere near the best work of any of their careers. But seeing as Julianne Moore was the worst of the three by far, I included her here. It's not a horrible performance; she definitely makes you feel something. But that's probably just her role and all the crying and menstruation (;) I like The Hours, I do) it involves. Moore is always stylized, sometimes a little too much for me. This is one of those times. Her performance just seems like a bunch of weepy scenes with little connective tissue.

6. Joaquin Phoenix - Gladiator
Bad. Hammy. Prancy. Yuck.

5. Naomi Watts - 21 Grams
This is partially her awful movie's fault. By fucking with the time so much, it eliminated any possibility of a real "thread" going through her performance. So...it comes off as a lot of screaming and howling and histrionics, which I despise. It's like she took that breakdown part in Mulholland Dr. and just acted that the whole movie, and it is way too much. Terrible, terrible, terrible. But at least some people agree with me.

4. Cate Blanchett - The Aviator
From the first time I saw this film, I've never seen what anyone else saw in her. I didn't think she was magical or that she lit up the screen at all. What I saw was a well-accented but emotionally dead and somehow creepy performance. Worst of all, I can always, always see the wheels turning when I watch Cate here, something you never saw with Katharine Hepburn. I think that is the biggest insult to Kate of all.

3. Johnny Depp - Pirates of the Caribbean
I'm pretty surprised this isn't #1 myself. But yeah, what can I say, I am running out of steam. I didn't think he was funny, and I didn't think he created any sort of real character. We don't know who Captain Jack is, despite all the hoopla about him. And that's a real crime, and it's purely Johnny's fault. Awful. With stuff like Ed Wood, it's pretty gross that this is what finally got him attention.

2. Marion Cotillard - La vie en rose
My hatred for this film and performance is still so fresh in my mind. She's in the Naomi Watts camp - any way her performance could have been good was destroyed by the filmmakers, making it look like all she does is scream and howl and overemote. She's way worse than Naomi, though. Marion creates a thing of nightmares and does an incredible disservice to Edith Piaf by not playing her, but by creating an empty shell of hysterics and makeup. Just terrible.

1. Jennifer Connelly - A Beautiful Mind
Jennifer Connelly's performance in Requiem for a Dream is the second best performance of the 2000s. Until 2007, it was THE best. Unfortunately, her performance in A Beautiful Mind is one of the worst. Period. She's got my Razzie for it. She literally does nothing. She doesn't play it quiet and bring emotion and sublety and make you feel for her, but I don't really think sublety is Connelly's thing. That's fine. She's not terrifically subtle in Requiem for a Dream and that performance is fucking amazing. And yet, here, she doesn't go over-the-top, yet explode with fire and passion and light up the screen. She just looks bored the entire running time, like she knew she was going to get an Oscar for playing the supportive girlfriend/wife in a prestige movie made to appeal directly to AMPAS. Actors that are natural get a ton of credit for me, and actors that look like they'd rather be doing anything else get major shit points from me. This, my friend, is where shit points might as well originate. Yuck. 7 years later, I'm still complaining about her Oscar win over 4 great performances.


Also overrated (not in any particular order other than the one I remember them in): Bjork - Dancer in the Dark (duh. I just thought of this. I don't feel like writing up a new writeup, but suffice it to say she would be really high.), Cate Blanchett - Notes on a Scandal (would be on the list if not for the "one Cate Blanchett performance" rule), Johnny Depp - Sweeney Todd, Helena Bonham Carter - Sweeney Todd, Audrey Tautou - Amelie, Amy Adams - Junebug (sorry, Jesus), Kate Hudson - Almost Famous, Cate Blanchett - Elizabeth: The Golden Age (a lot of critics loved her), Patricia Clarkson - Dogville, Patricia Clarkson - Far from Heaven, Patricia Clarkson - Pieces of April (Clarkson is soooo notttt the "supporting actress godsend" that most portray her as. She's usually good, but not award-worthy.), Ryan Gosling - Lars and the Real Girl, James McAvoy - Last King of Scotland, Annette Bening - Being Julia (this would be on the list, except nobody online seems to like her here thank God), Judi Dench - Iris (people saying she was better than Julie at the whole Alzheimer's thing makes me crack the shit up), Diane Keaton - Something's Gotta Give, Jim Broadbent - Iris, Matt Dillon - Crash, Thomas Haden Church - Sideways, Jackie Earle Haley - Little Children, Natalie Portman - Closer, Shohreh Aghdashloo - House of Sand and Fog, Thora Birch - Ghost World, Gael Garcia Bernal - kind of everything, Ed Harris - The Hours, Adam Sandler - Punch-Drunk Love, Naomi Watts - King Kong, Ziyi Zhang - Memoirs of a Geisha (this one's not so loved on the internet, though, thank God), Eva Green - The Dreamers, Ellen Page - Hard Candy

Yeah, they're great to spectacular, but calm down people: Nicole Kidman - The Hours, Meryl Streep - The Hours, Julianne Moore - Far from Heaven, Imelda Staunton - Vera Drake, Helen Mirren - The Queen, Isabelle Huppert - The Piano Teacher, Joaquin Phoenix - Walk the Line, Philip Seymour Hoffman - Capote, Penelope Cruz - Volver, Gael Garcia Bernal - Bad Education, Kate Winslet - Little Children (not so much now, but when it came out people were FLIPPING OUT!!!!), Ziyi Zhang - 2046, Mark Wahlberg - The Departed, Jack Nicholson - The Departed, Saoirse Ronan - Atonement, Tilda Swinton - Michael Clayton (the way the blogosphere talks about it, you'd think God got an Oscar), Casey Affleck - The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, Maggie Gyllenhaal - Sherrybaby, Cate Blanchett - Heaven, Parker Posey - Best in Show, Jake Gyllenhaal - Donnie Darko, Daniel Day-Lewis - Gangs of New York, Bruno Ganz - Downfall

And just to get the warm fuzzies out there, here are tons of sadly underrated performances (I don't nominate nearly all of them, and if they all got a ton of attention a bunch of them would probably be pretty overrated, but most of these get almost no attention, which is sad as they are great): Clive Owen - Croupier, Forest Whitaker - Ghost Dog: Way of the Samurai, Cate Blanchett - The Gift, Jeffrey Wright - Shaft, Philip Seymour Hoffman - Almost Famous, Jack Black - High Fidelity, Gary Lewis - Billy Elliot, Samantha Morton - Jesus' Son, Kirsten Dunst - The Virgin Suicides, Goya Toledo - Amores perros, Anthony LaPaglia - Lantana, William H. Macy - Panic, Ray Winstone - Sexy Beast, Brian Cox - L.I.E., Will Ferrell - Zoolander, Kerry Armstrong - Lantana, Uma Thurman - Tape, Tom Cruise - Minority Report, Sam Rockwell - Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, Greg Kinnear - Auto Focus, Samantha Morton - Morvern Callar, Jodie Foster - Panic Room, Catherine Keener - Lovely and Amazing, Maura Tierney - Scotland, PA, Philip Seymour Hoffman - Punch-Drunk Love, Ray Liotta - Narc, Brian Cox - 25th Hour, Edie Falco - Sunshine State, Emily Mortimer - Lovely and Amazing, Bebe Neuwirth - Tadpole, Kathleen McDermott - Morvern Callar, Hayden Christensen - Shattered Glass (never have I seen a great performance so dismissed by the "he can't act!" belief), Kevin Spacey - The Life of David Gale, Chiwetel Ejiofor - Dirty Pretty Things, Robert Downey Jr. - The Singing Detective, Paul Giamatti - American Splendor, Jack Black - School of Rock, Peter Dinklage - The Station Agent, Patty Considine - In America, Zooey Deschanel - All the Real Girls, Sarah Polley - My Life Without Me, Renee Zellweger - Down with Love, Hugh Grant - Love Actually, Laura Linney - The Life of David Gale, Laura Linney - Love Actually, Sean Penn - The Assassination of Richard Nixon, Tobey Maguire - Spider-Man 2, Will Ferrell - Anchorman, Tom Hanks - The Terminal, Laura Linney - P.S..., Abbie Cornish - Somersault, Jennifer Garner - 13 Going on 30, Lindsay Lohan - Mean Girls, Kim Basinger - The Door in the Floor, Reese Witherspoon - Vanity Fair, Laura Dern - We Don't Live Here Anymore, Steve Carell - Anchorman, Liev Schreiber - The Manchurian Candidate, Topher Grace - In Good Company, Kyra Sedgwick - The Woodsman, Lacey Chabert - Mean Girls, Amanda Seyfried - Mean Girls, Marion Cotillard - A Very Long Engagement, Sandra Oh - Sideways, Tony Leung - 2046, Yeong-ae Lee - Sympathy for Lady Vengeance, Embeth Davidtz - Junebug, Lisa Kudrow - Happy Endings, Joan Allen - Yes, Nathalie Press - My Summer of Love, Vince Vaughn - Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Jeffrey Wright - Broken Flowers, Paul Rudd - The 40-Year-Old Virgin, George Clooney - Good Night, and Good Luck., Edward Norton - Kingdom of Heaven, Liam Neeson - Breakfast on Pluto, Maggie Gyllenhaal - Happy Endings, Isla Fisher - Wedding Crashers, Emily Mortimer - Match Point, Patricia Clarkson - The Dying Gaul, Heath Ledger - Candy, Edward Norton - The Painted Veil, William H. Macy - Edmond, Joe Cross - Running with Scissors, Cate Blanchett - The Good German, Melinda Page Hamilton - Sleeping Dogs Lie, Scarlett Johansson - Scoop, Doug Jones - Pan's Labyrinth, Paul Giamatti - The Illusionist, Ian McKellen - The Da Vinci Code, Kevin Spacey - Superman Returns, Woody Allen - Scoop, Jodie Foster - Inside Man, Jessica Biel - The Illusionist, Edie Falco - Freedomland, Jill Clayburgh - Running with Scissors, Blythe Danner - The Last Kiss, Don Cheadle - Talk to Me, Steve Buscemi - Interview, Gabriel Bryne - Jindabyne, Russell Crowe - American Gangster, Michael Shannon - Bug, Sienna Miller - Interview, Belen Rueda - The Orphanage, Dakota Blue Richards - The Golden Compass, Dylan Freasier - There Will Be Blood, Morgan Freeman - Gone Baby Gone, Kerry Washington - I Think I Love My Wife, Martha MacIssac - Superbad. WHEWWWWWWW.

Of course, I am sure there are many I am forgetting. Ah, bitching. You are wonderful.

Brill.

Why haven't I seen this before? Also, it's amusing how only like 3 of the films in there had any sort of Oscar success (Atonement, Sweeney, No Country), and the rest flopped like all hell (Things We Lost..., Rendition, Lions for Lambs, Reservation Road, Dan in Real Life).

I don't get it.

Okay, I get that I'm supposed to find him really funny. And I do. And I was supposed to howl over that terrible SNL skit. But really, I'm just like "Bitch, I know 57 people that are like this."

WHAT THE HELL!!!

Now Paul Scofield is dead (love him in A Man for All Seasons) and Anderson "Silver Fox, emphasis on the FOX!!! And I can say that because I watched him on The Mole so there!" Cooper has cancer? SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON.

Deleted scene perfection.

Heyyy, Angela.

You need a haircut.

Byeeeee, Angela.

amazing post-strike opening!

So I know multiple sources have said that Angela Kinsey's real-life pregnancy isn't going to be addressed on The Office, but I just think it would be incredible if the episode after "Dinner Party" (since that episode is supposed to take place in the time before the strike, and then it reverts back to real time) opens with a shot of a giant pregnant Angela, with a cut to a talking head: "I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT." Uptight judgmental Christian bitch? Pregnancy scandal? On The Office? YES PLEASE.

That, or Ryan sitting back at his Scranton desk. Perfect... or maybe this is why I'm not a writer for this show?

Just correcting some wrong opinions ;)

Lately, I've noticed that randomly, there is a lot of bashing of Mystic River and a lot of praising of Ghost World going on.

Oh, no.

Oh, no no.

Mystic River is, so far, Clint Eastwood's masterpiece. I think I'm a big sucker for Boston movies, for whatever reason. Maybe because I love the city, that horrendous baseball team aside ;) Eastwood keeps the direction very subtle but effective, which makes the movie not hysterical, histrionic, or overbearing, all of which it could have been. The screenplay is just great, fully developing characters and their arcs while confronting difficult issues. The ensemble cast is one of the best in years and there isn't a false note among the performances. People say "Tim Robbins sucks in that;" how? He reveals layers upon layers of bottled-up emotion. It's an obvious moment, but that vampires and werewolves monologue's a killer. Sean Penn gets a ton of criticism for being "over-the-top"; why? He's a man, proven to be unstable, that just lost his daughter. Of course he's going to scream and cry. Maybe all the film snobs would prefer that he just sort of stoically nod his head, but that wouldn't be natural for the character at all. Kevin Bacon is also simply spectacular, but he's got the smaller and far less showy part than the other two. People say that Laura Linney's character comes "out of nowhere," but I didn't think that was true at all. It's true, her monologue does come at sort of a strange point in the film. But I wasn't at all like "WHO ARE YOU????" when she was doing it, probably because La Linney can do anything. So you've got a really mature film made for adults, with good direction, and a great screenplay and performances. I don't see what everyone's complaining about.

Ghost World, though. Ugh. For me, Ghost World is the movie for which most of the criticism lobbed at Lost in Translation applies - slight, boring, unfunny, so broad everyone simply projects their own feelings onto it, uninterestingly acted by its lead (though Buscemi is awesome and Johansson is quite good, Birch is just like a giant blank of charisma accompanied by bored-looking acting). The characters that Enid makes fun of are ludicrously one-dimensional with nothing that would justify them being such, and Enid herself is preachy and annoying. Like most people, I always feel like the "cool loner" in high school (yes, that part of the sentence was supposed to be paradoxical/ironic because people are dumb - as seen by the fact that they're praising Ghost World) but if that's what I or anyone I know was like in high school, smack me/them in the fuckin' face, please. Having unsympathetic characters isn't a bad thing, usually, but when she's supposed to be at least sort of sympathetic and when the supporting characters are way more sympathetic, it's a flaw. Ghost World is not a good "coming-of-age" movie because Enid doesn't grow at all. Nothing about the movie is exemplary or even interesting enough to necesitate or encourage viewing. For a comedy, there's one funny line ("we graduated high school. how totally amazing."). High school angst was done by Daria much better. And, yes, the ending is tacked-on and terrible.

I hope you have all seen the light now ;)

I've got a crush on Obama.

No matter what you think of him, you gotta say: damn, that's one great speech.

10 Under 30.

Because 30 WAS really hard. My own personal lists. And yes, I know I said some of these (especially the guys) were overrated, but damn, are there any good male actors under 30? I miss you Heath :( He'd probably be #2. Click the names to celebrate the pretty.

Guys
1. Jake Gyllenhaal
2. John Krasinski
3. James McAvoy
4. Topher Grace (it's too bad he sucked as Venom and that's what he'll probably be remembered for.)
5. Haley Joel Osment (not as of late, but damn, The Sixth Sense and A.I.)
6. Ryan Gosling
7. Seth Rogen
8. Michael Cera
9. Joseph Gordon-Levitt
10. Ben Foster

Girls
1. Scarlett Johansson
2. Kirsten Dunst
3. Christina Ricci
4. America Ferrera
5. Sarah Polley
6. Rosario Dawson
7. Katherine Heigl
8. Michelle Williams
9. Zooey Deschanel
10. Bryce Dallas Howard (actually remarkably talented, and not getting by on just connections. Too bad she's in such awful movies...)

This just in: The movie world is FALLING TO SHIT AAAAHHHHH

Anthony Minghella is dead.
Arthur C. Clarke is dead.
Paul Newman has cancer.
Maggie Smith has cancer.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!??!

Awww.

She's like the cutest little director you ever did see.

Why do I still love Scarlett? Well, for one, even as she delves further and further into crap that is way below her, she's still always going to have this.

Rest in peace, Anthony Minghella.

Gah. What's with all these young, talented, Oscar-nominated people dying? It's awful. He was one of my favorite directors. Truly Madly Deeply, The English Patient, Cold Mountain, The Talented Mr. Ripley, Breaking and Entering - there's not a bad or even a mediocre film in there.

Rest in peace, Anthony.

Me? Late to jump on a bandwagon? NAAAAH.

James McAvoy? Yeah, he's Wanted alright.

Casey Affleck speaks.

"Okay, whatever magazine you are. I'll show you my stomach in this really awkward picture. But don't think I'm gonna smile when I do it. *glower*"

Happy St. Patty's, with a minute to go.

Watch The Departed again. Not Once.

chalk up another interview for "Brown alumni I love"

From The Advocate. Um...do you think people in the store would look at me weirdly if I bought that? But seriously. Could that boy be more charming or sweet?

Another sort of interview with La Linney.

From Parade Magazine.

Though...
"Why You Know Her
She gave stunning performances in Primal Fear (1996), You Can Count on Me (2000) and Kinsey (2004)."

And The Truman Show. And House of Mirth. And Wild Iris. And Mystic River. And The Life of David Gale. And Love Actually. And P.S. And The Squid and the Whale. And Jindabyne. And Breach. And The Savages. She looks really pretty in the pictures, too. I don't know why people call her a "plain Jane" actress. She just plays characters that are normal, and not supermodels, but not remotely hideous. I think she's way prettier than, say, Cate Blanchett, or Nicole Kidman (the way she's been looking lately, not around her 2001 Moulin Rouge! days, in which she was a goddess I would perhaps have given my soul to look like)

An Interview with Miss Laura Linney.

From The New York Times magazine. It's here.

As multiple people have pointed out before, that reviewer is dumb. "WHERE R TEH BOOBIES??? IZ DIS GUNNA GET MORE INTERESTING???? UR NOT AS PERTTYY AS MAREEN COLLITARD!!!!"

And then there's this quote: "Q: What do you think of Marion Cotillard, who just won best actress for her performance as Edith Piaf? A: Of the five of us, that performance was on a whole other level. It just was."

Oh, Laura, honey. When you run to the grocery store to buy some milk and you don't change out of your sweatpants, that's a better performance than Marion Cotillard's in La vie en rose. Laura, please don't slap on seventeen pounds of makeup and play some histrionic real person in a ridiculous performance to get an Oscar. Please?

Also: "There are as many bad independent films as there are bad commercial films." THANK YOU. THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU. That, and you're a really fucking great actress.

I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING.

"These guys might even - JIM AND PAM!!!!"

30 Under 30: The Gentlemen.

Link here. Like I said, in general I'm a lot less opinionated about the under-30 guys than the under-30 girls, so whatev. Though, of course, there are some actors that I'm foaming at the mouth are on here over my brilliant JKras (if they could fill the women's list with TV actresses, why not this one?) and, like, say, Topher Grace. And yes, it's true - we really lost something very special with Heath Ledger.

Michael Cera - He's totally cute and endearing, and I really liked him in Juno, Superbad, and what I've seen of Arrested Development. But what kind of order are these lists in? They're not in age or alphabetical order. Are they in numerical order? There's no way he should be #1. He really needs to stretch himself, and quick. Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist definitely doesn't look like a film that's going to do that...

Elijah Wood - I've never liked him in anything, not even Eternal Sunshine. Unworthy. And good lord, does he creep me out (and this was before Sin City, thanks).

Chris Evans - Super ridiculously hot? YES. Great or even good actor? NO. Though I guess the fact that he's going to be in The Loss of a Teardrop Diamond is pretty promising.

Channing Tatum - See above.

Paul Dano - He was so great in There Will Be Blood, but so shitty in Little Miss Sunshine. He was good in L.I.E., but I don't remember him from anything else. I'm still trying to make up my mind on him, but There Will Be Blood is a tremendous step forward.

Joseph Gordon Levitt - He's fine. He was quite great in Mysterious Skin and good in Brick, but he doesn't excite me at all. But he is young. He definitely shows promise.

Gael Garcia Bernal - Ugh. Am I the only one that doesn't like him at all? Look at the picture Entertainment Weekly has of him, he looks so friggin' smug and gross. He was great in Bad Education but I can't see his hype otherwise at all - not in Amores perros, not in Y tu mama tambien, not in The Crime of Father Amaro, not in The Motorcycle Diaries, not in The King, not in The Science of Sleep, not in Babel. He's okay in each, but far from great and not anywhere near award-worthy. One of the most overrated working actors today. Oh, and he's ugly. Just had to say it.

Jake Gyllenhaal - Yes, I do think he's overrated at times simply because he's so fucking hot, but that doesn't mean he's not extremely talented. Between Brokeback Mountain, Donnie Darko (he's the only reason to see that mess of a movie), Zodiac, and Jarhead, he's already given four fantastic performances in not terribly many movies, and shown tremendous range. In my mind, he should quite blatantly be #1 on this list. I mean, Michael Cera over him? Just because Cera happens to be the flavor of the moment? Come on. Channing Tatum? CHRIS EVANS? No.

Michael Pitt - I CAN'T STAND HIM. I thought he was so terrible in The Dreamers and Last Days. I don't remember him from his other movies. Though, it must be said that he looks terrifying and fantastic in Funny Games, but quite frankly I'm not planning on seeing that movie until it's out on DVD at least. I have my...major problems with the original. I don't feel the need to revisit that movie. And oh lord, his IMDb picture is funny.

Taylor Kitsch - I don't watch Friday Night Lights, so I have nothing to say about him. Judging from Entertainment Weekly's picture, though, he really needs to cut his hair.

Hayden Christensen - I'm the only one that still likes him, if only because of one performance: Shattered Glass. Dear lord, he is GREAT in that. In fact, I will not see Jumper because I don't want it to destroy my memories of that. I'm the only one still waving the flag of "Hayden Christensen can totally act, no really he can!" Though, yes, he is terrrrrrrible in the Star Wars movies.

Jesse Eisenberg - I only saw him in The Squid and the Whale (and The Village, where I don't remember him), where he was great. He needs to do more work, obviously, but he certainly shows potential.

Jason Schwartzman - He kind of sucks. I really liked him in Rushmore, but that's the last time I did. I Heart Huckabees, Shopgirl, Marie-Antoinette - all awful performances. His performance in The Darjeeling Limited isn't awful, but it isn't any good either and he gets outdone by Brody and Wilson, neither of whom are very good actors. Recently, I gotta say he did crack me up in Walk Hard. But I still don't like him as an actor at all.

Lee Pace - I haven't seen Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day yet and I don't watch Pushing Daisies (I totally should, what with RAUL ESPARZA!!!! being on it apparently, but I don't), so I can't comment on him. Yeah, he's pretty hot, though...

Jim Sturgess - He was fine if not great or award-worthy in any way in Across the Universe and The Other Boleyn Girl. I like how he's being marketed as a "name" for 21; does anyone know who he is besides us weird movie people?

Ben Foster - Yes, like everyone else, he creeps me out. But he appears to be having fun in his roles, and not trying excessively hard (I mean that in a good way!). I want to see what he does next.

Emile Hirsch - Well, I really liked him in Into the Wild, and I was pretty sad he didn't get that Oscar nod. I guess I like him, but I haven't seen him in anything else.

James McAvoy - He's quite overrated, yeah, but he's certainly one of the most talented on this list. He's just the Ryan Gosling of 2007 (as in, "OH MY GOD. HE IS THE MOST AMAZING ACTOR EVER. AND HE IS SOOOOO HOT.")...but Ryan Gosling was the James McAvoy of post-Oscar-nominations 2006, so I suppose that's fitting (let me explain. So everyone freaked out over McAvoy in Last King of Scotland, in a performance that's not much more than "well, he is pretty good, but damn Forest Whitaker takes this movie right out from under him."I actually read some blog that said "James is better than Forest in Last King of Scotland because he is better-looking." Honest to blog. HAHA I MADE A FUNNY JOKE or not. Then, when Ryan Gosling got the Oscar nomination, everyone started being like OH MY GOD I LOVE RYAN GOSLING HE IS SOOOO HOT DID YOU SEE The Believer? ME NEITHER BUT I BET HE IS AMAZING IN IT.)

Jamie Bell - He has Billy Elliot and then...nothing. He needs to do more before I declare him a great actor.

Seth Rogen - I actually like him a lot. I think he's really funny. And I'm gonna admit something embarassing here... he's really cute. I know! I am supposed to think he's a schlub! But I just think he's really cute. Dammit! Look at that Entertainment Weekly picture of him, he's adorable.

Jonah Hill - Wow, he's only a year younger than Seth Rogen? I thought he was like 16. Anyway, I really don't like him. Like I've said multiple times, I think Jonah Hill is who you get when you can't get Seth Rogen or to play backup to Seth Rogen when Seth Rogen is playing lead because he's wayyyy more talented. He's annoying and abrasive and never very funny.

Zachary Levi - Don't watch Chuck (which I always confuse with Dexter. Doesn't Dexter sound like a name for a guy that would download spy secrets, and Chuck sound like a serial killer?). Gosh, he's cute, though...

Ryan Gosling - Haha (considering what I wrote about him with McAvoy). Though, yeah, I do think he is overrated overall, he was stunning in Half Nelson and has my personal Oscar for it. He's never stood out in anything else, though, and I thought he was bad in Fracture (to be fair, his role consisted of pointing finger guns at people and going "heeeeyyy!" in the first half and looking all mopey in the second) and especially in Lars and the Real Girl (I'm thrilled he didn't get the Oscar nomination, as it would have been a mockery of his work the year before). He's definitely amazing in Half Nelson, however. That one performance alone makes him way more worthy than most guys on this list. And yes, look how cute.

Shia LaBeouf - I do think he has a great screen presence and he was way better than Disturbia or Transformers deserved. But he's no great actor (yet, anyway). And his hype last summer was a little strangling.

Justin Long - GROSS. NO. Is there anyone that actually likes Justin Long? Except for like Drew Barrymore.

Zac Efron - Wellllll... I really liked him in Hairspray. And I like that he's trying to get away from the world of High School Musical. But he's just soooo bad in High School Musical, both of them. And yeah, he's majorly overexposed. He's pretty cute, though, I've gotta say, when he's not wearing like 75 pounds of makeup. Like, when I saw Hairspray, I was like "OH MY GOD I'M ATTRACTED TO HIM. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DOOOOO???"

Chris Pine - I don't remember him from Smokin' Aces. So...I guess he's gonna be in Star Trek. Yay?

Justin Timberlake - I think Justin is actually a surprisingly good actor. I loved him in Smokin' Aces and really liked him in Southland Tales. I've never seen him be awful. But he better not dare give up his music career. And I don't think The Love Guru is the way to go. IMDb has some great pictures sometimes...

Daniel Radcliffe - As the Harry Potter movies go on, he definitely gets better and better. I think Equus was simply a fantastic choice to make, and based on what I've heard about his performance in it, he deserved all the hype he got. He's definitely a "shows promise" person. Though, yes, I don't see why all these girls think he's hot.

Elijah Kelly - Well, I really liked him in Hairspray, but has he even been in anything else...?

Oh, JKras. You were so robbed. Quite frankly, I wouldn't mind seeing him take the place of most of these other guys... also, geez, when they do these lists, you start to realize how few really talented actors and actresses under 30 there are. It's a shame, but I understand if actors and actresses want to spend time cultivating their talents. Still, when lists like this have to rely on, like, Miley Cyrus and Justin Long...

It's Michael Scott's birthday.

Fun fact! He shares his birthday with Eva Longoria. So he has a perfect ice-breaker if he ever meets Teri Hatcher.

30 Under 30: The Women.

Link here. From Entertainment Weekly. Seeing as I tend to be more opinionated on actresses in their 20s and teens than actors in their 20s and teens (it's probably some psychological thing as I am 20sish myself), I figured I'd talk about the girls first. The guys are...whenever I get to it.

Scarlett Johansson - I know I'm the only one left on Earth (besides those attracted to women) that still loves her. But dammit, I do. Some actresses that are undoubtedly better overall have given great great performances (think Naomi Watts in Mulholland Dr., one of very few performances from this millennium that are better than Scarlett's in Lost in Translation), but I don't feel any sort of personal connection to them. I don't feel the need to defend them when they get insulted. To Scarlett, I just...do. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I love Lost in Translation so very much that I just can't help loving its stars too. She's undoubtedly made some bad career choices (The Island - oh, Scarlett, what were you thinking?), and she's often miscast (she's better in quieter roles, which is why she's so good as Charlotte, Griet, and Mary Boleyn. Her voice is obviously fantastic, but it can often sound like she's terribly bored, which is why she isn't as great in "talky" roles... I liked her in Scoop, but I can see why one couldn't...), but I'm not even going to backhandedly compliment her and say "I see a lot of potential." Lately, I despair for the way she's got caught in the hype machine, but when you're not even 20 and you give the performance you gave in Lost in Translation, you're it.

Natalie Portman - I find her unbelievably endearing, and she's so stunningly gorgeous. I just wish she were more consistent. She has both really crazy over-vocal fanboys and really crazy over-vocal detractors, and I can see where they both came from. For an example, take her Oscar nomination for Closer. She gives shattering, brilliant work in some scenes - the strip club, at Anna's art show - and she's completely lost in others - both break-up scenes with Dan were pretty terrible. She was so fantastic when she was younger in both Leon and Beautiful Girls, but those led to... the Star Wars movies. Yiiiikes. And then, just when we'd all probably given up on her in 2003 came Cold Mountain, for which she just...breaks your heart into a million pieces, absolutely. She's probably in the film for not even 10 minutes, but she's the best performance in it (and I actually liked Jude Law and Renee Zellweger, so suck it!). I really liked her in Garden State, too; she was kind of the only good thing about that ridiculously-in-love-with-itself movie. As The Other Boleyn Girl came out a few weeks ago, I gotta say she's terrible in it. She tries to be sexy and sly and manipulative but she doesn't play it well at all. I don't know why, because the scenes where she is sexy and sly in Closer are probably, overall, her best. She's definitely given some really great performances and she's incredibly likeable, but I'm not signing up for her club of fanboys yet. On the other hand, I'm not signing up for her haters either...

Anne Hathaway - Yeah...no. I think she's an awful actress. She just tries so damn hard all the time and it shows, but she still never gives a notable performance. Her screen presence is really boring. Her best performance is absolutely The friggin' Princess Diaries because she slooows down, she breathes, and she feels sort of real. Saying someone feels "sort of real..." is not usually a compliment, but yeah, it's Anne Hathaway. I just think it's really telling that the cast of Brokeback Mountain was showered with awards...with nothing for Anne. Meryl Streep and Emily Blunt got awards notice for The Devil Wears Prada... nothing for Anne. Becoming Jane basically existed to get her an Oscar nomination... nothing for Anne. Some people are like "she doesn't upstage her co-stars! She's great!" Okay, that excuse works for...one movie. But every movie she's ever been in? I just think she's a bad actress, quite frankly. Like, take that phone call scene in Brokeback Mountain. I know some agree with me, and some others raved her in that scene, but I thought she was especially badbadbad there. She just looked like "oh God I don't know what I'm doing so I'm just going to deliver it as flat as possible and people are just gonna think I'm brilliant because of the movie I happen to be in!!!" And as far as the "but she's hot!" excuse that works for some others, I don't see that at all. I think she's freaky-looking. Bah. Go away, Anne. Take your overwillingness to show your boobs and your giant mouth and freakish eyes with you.

Emily Blunt - Oh, I've been over this a gagillion times. She's not without talent. But her talent is being freakishly overexaggerated (she hasn't come close to deserving a nomination) because she delivered some lines well in a pretty funny movie, which is nothing hundreds of less-appreciated actors and actresses haven't done. Plus, it's like I was saying a few weeks ago - it's those dead eyes. They just creep me out. And maybe it's because I associate her with The Devil Wears Prada, but I just find her incredibly abrasive.

Keira Knightley - I'm still weirded out by my sudden lack of dislike for her. But, like I was saying in that post, she still isn't a good actress. She gives Razzie-worthy performances in Pirates of the Caribbean, and like I keep saying: she's only been good three times (Pride and Prejudice, Atonement, Bend It Like Beckham). She is marvelous in Pride and Prejudice and I applaud her nomination, especially considering the sad sad bunch that were the other nominees (except Reese). She's good in Atonement, but is nowhere near worthy of a nomination (she's my #23 of the year and all of the following were better than her: Adams, Wei, Linney x2, Miller x2, Kidman, Marinca, Blanchett [for I'm Not There], Page, Foster, Rueda, Judd, Watts, Richards [the girl in The Golden Compass], Heigl, Ricci, McGowan, Shannon, Russell, and Blonsky. Whew. I just wanted to drive the point home.). And she's good in Bend It Like Beckham, but not worthy of even consideration for a nomination. So. She's basically only ever anywhere approaching great with one director, so I kind of write those performances off as a fluke for better or worse. I want to see her in The Edge of Love and The Duchess. I'm definitely open to liking her now, but she's extremely far away from being any sort of great actress. Oh, and Entertainment Weekly? "Nobody rocks a corset like she does"? Not to be indelicate here, but try someone with boobs.

Jessica Biel - The Illusionist aside, she's not a very good actress. Her movies tend to be badbadbaddd though, so I'd like to see what she can do in an actually good movie. She was really good in The Illusionist...

Evan Rachel Wood - I really liked her in thirteen, but she's done nothing since besides that awful Beatles movie (yes, I know its name is Across the Universe, but I'm demeaning it. Can one demean a movie...?) and become Marilyn Manson's girlfriend. GET CRACKING, EVAN RACHEL.

Ellen Page - I really didn't like her in Hard Candy, but I liked her so much in Juno it actually made me forget about that. Part of that, I'm sure, is the fact that we all discovered she's actually adorable and charming in real life, but I do think she's really talented. To have such a great grip on such a ... well, weird character like Juno makes me think the best is yet to come for her. She's really awesome; best of luck, Ellen, for sure.

America Ferrera - I don't watch Ugly Betty all that often, but America is indeed very good on it. Her role could easily get annoying, but she's just so natural and real. You just want to hug her all the time. I've only caught bits and pieces of Real Women Have Curves (all of which she was very good in as well), so I can't talk about that. Unfortunately, I have also never seen the masterwork of commentary on the female soul, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. So...I've got a lot of blanks in my America filmography. But from what I've seen, she is talented indeed.

Jessica Alba - Oh, no. Just no.

Kristen Bell - Never got caught up in the Veronica Mars hype. I like that she's teeny and blonde (I think I had a post about that a while back) and that's about it.

Jennifer Hudson - A great actress? I don't know... I really liked her in Dreamgirls and I totally defend her Oscar, but she hasn't done anything since. And she looks kinda bad in the Sex and the City trailer and I don't know why she's in it anyway. I still like her, but she has wayyyy more to prove before she is considered a great actress.

Evangeline Lilly - I've never watched Lost (well, that's a lie. I watched an episode in the middle of the, like, second season, and I was just so lost and I had no desire to devote my life to figuring out a TV show - at least there are no great mysteries on The Office or Sex and the City, so I can agonize about the relationships on those TV shows instead ;) ), so I couldn't say.

Rosario Dawson - Totally awesome and underrated. She's rocked since Kids, and in truly awful movies she's never given a truly awful performance. Recently, she's been nomination-worthy in Rent and rocked in Death Proof. I adore her.

Abbie Cornish - She was really shockingly good in Somersault and I loved her in Candy, but she was really bad in Elizabeth: The Golden Age. She's definitely willing to take risks, which is always something I admire. I just hope she's good in both indie stuff and more mainstream stuff; the best are those that can balance.

Zoe Saldana - The only things I've seen her in are Center Stage, Crossroads (quiet, you), and The Terminal. I don't remember her in any of those.

Kristen Stewart - She was born in 1990? Damn, I thought she was like five years older than I am. I liked her in Into the Wild, but she wasn't GREAT great and I don't remember her in Panic Room which I guess means she wasn't particularly good. Still, she's 17? I totally thought she was like, 25. Seriously. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

Abigail Breslin - I just love her in Little Miss Sunshine. I think she's adorable and charming and she's got a really great career ahead of her. I'm very happy she took over for Dakota Fanning in My Sister's Keeper. I just hope she doesn't get overused in crap and become one of those "LOL, I can't believe she got nominated!" performances.

Dakota and Elle Fanning - Okay, my hate for Dakota Fanning was completely ridiculous, but that doesn't mean she's given any good performances. Neither has Elle. And they both still creep me out.

Katee Sackhoff - WHO? Oh, Battlestar Galactica. Everyone I know seems totally obsessed with that show, but I don't watch it. Maybe I should. Hmm. (I love how these blurbs on the actresses started out long and got really really short. I GOT TIRED, OKAY??!?!!)

Ginnifer Goodwin - I don't watch Big Love, but I've heard she's very good in it. Obscenely annoying in Walk the Line. "Still had us rooting for her"? I was like, "JUNE, PLEASE STEAL THAT MAN." And no, I don't usually condone adultery...

Miley Cyrus - As an actress? What the hell.

Saoirse Ronan - Well, at least she's better than Miley. She's cute, and I liked her in Atonement, but she didn't capture my heart like Abigail Breslin did (though I do think Ronan's is the better performance and...I dunno...I confuse myself. To be fair to Ronan, her character wasn't a billionth as endearing). She undoubtedly comes across as a very wise old soul, as Entertainment Weekly points out. I think that definitely works for her, seeing as Dakota Fanning definitely outlived her "old soul" captivity on the world.

Kirsten Dunst - Why the hell is she so low? Yes, she's had some total clunkers (ouch, Elizabethtown). Yes, her best work is not in the Spider-Man series. Yes, she has a snaggletooth. But she's undoubtedly the best of these actresses since Johansson. I mean, I give her four nominations. That's... like, not normal, right? I'm supposed to hate her, right? Oh, whatever. I just think she's spectacular. I loved her in Interview with the Vampire, Dick, Drop Dead Gorgeous, The Virgin Suicides, crazy/beautiful, Marie-Antoinette, and she's incredible in Eternal Sunshine for the Spotless Mind. Yes, she can be very bad too, but her good work is just so damn good. I am not ashamed to say it: I love Kirsten Dunst. I think she is very talented. Surely someone has to feel the same way... anyone...?

Hayden Panettiere - I think she's adorable, but I don't watch Heroes so I don't really have an opinion. Though I do think she's charming. And I think she was included with that "teeny blonde thing" post along with Kristen Bell (I think. I think. I think. I'M TIRED. I SHOULD GO TO SLEEP PROBABLY.).

Ziyi Zhang - I'd write a whole long thing about her, but like I just said, I'm tired. So: remarkable in some things, crap in others. Makes awful awful mainstream decisions and then is really bad in those movies (Crouching Tiger aside). She really is so pretty, though. I mean, what the hell is this? She still looks gorgeous.

Amanda Bynes - Wow, she is a bad actress. Annoying in Hairspray and made She's the Man worse.

Emma Watson - Yeah, she really is terrible in Harry Potter. And...do people really think she's hot? Is it just that creepy forbidden fruit thing? Because she's not ugly, but she's pretty plain.

Blake Lively - Don't watch Gossip Girl, haven't seen Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

Summer Glau - Never watched Firefly or any of the other TV shows she was on, don't remember her from Serenity.

Aaaand we're done. Aaaand holy God, I am off to sleep. Hopefully I can attack the guys' list soon. Because I know I'm gonna forget before I post it: John Krasinski should totally be on it. I mean, Zac Efron? Come on.

ETA, now that I have slept: Where's Christina Ricci? Katherine Heigl? Michelle Williams? Claire Danes? Rose Bryne? SARAH POLLEY??? They're way more talented than, like, Emma Watson or Miley Cyrus (yes I know I just gave Claire Danes a 3/10 on that big list thing I did, but that stands for her work overall. She was outstanding in Shopgirl and that alone should put her over many of these). Or friggin' Jessica Alba/Biel. And not for anything, but Mean Girls alone puts Lindsay Lohan ahead of those four. Sienna Miller deserves to be here for Interview alone, but add Factory Girl to that and she was robbed (even if, yes, she sucks otherwise; oh, come on, Emma Watson sucks all the time). Tang Wei deserves to be here for Lust, Caution alone (I know a bazillion people have said it before me: DAMN, THAT'S A DEBUT PERFORMANCE?!?!). Romola Garai was the superior Briony when compared to her co-star. At least they didn't put Thora Birch on the list! And did you know Rachel McAdams is over 30?! I was like "wow, she got snubbed considering how much people are in friggin' love with her." But no! She is actually 31!